April 2019 Archives
April 30
Career building job or comfortable job
I am at a crossroads in my career, and I can't figure out which path to take. Please give me your wisdom! [more inside]
High Anxiety
I have a crippling fear of heights. I get frozen in anxiety and panic when I have to be up high; it feels like I have mud flowing through my veins and I can't move well, get clumsy, and generally feel awful. [more inside]
Orange asks: did my orange juice, mixed in my smoothie, contaminate it?
Orange may you be of help? :) Joking aside, my expired-by-one-day, but opened-more-than-7-days ago orange juice was mixed into a spinachy goodness smoothie I made. Is it OK and safe to drink the smoothie? [more inside]
The Write Space
I'd love some ideas of places I could go to write. I'm unable to write at home due to a lot of distractions and negative feelings I have being at home. So, I need to find a place I could go to write, with a few restrictions. [more inside]
I have a Gmail. I need its colors to be other colors. Help?
I know about Themes. Themes change the background. I need the foreground colors changed. Where it's white-ish with black text telling me who the email's from and what the subject line is. I'd like to make it dark gray or black with some lighter color, maybe neon green for easier readability. Help?
I need a dollar... Or a pound
UK credit checks - I have noticed several checks that were made 'about me' by gambling sites using old details. What gives? [more inside]
Was I hacked? Can't log in to Wordpress and weird username
I'm trying to log in to my Wordpress account and it won't recognize my login information. I requested a new password reset and the reset email came to my email address but the username is not me.
It says, "Hi PiSh3r" and "username: PiSh3r"
Thats not me! If I proceed to reset my password am I allowing them some sort of access?
How do I safely navigate this?
(PiSh3r? WTF really?)
Calgary in July!
What are some fun things to do in Calgary (and vicinity) in July? I'm going to be there with some relatives for two/three weeks.
Is it worthwhile going to the Stampede? What can I expect there?
I think I'd like to do some hiking but no idea what would be a good choice in that regard.
I also like theatre, science, history, dining, music (piano especially). Are there any multi-day courses being offered in these subjects then?
Is there such a thing as a good, inexpensive stovetop pressure cooker?
I want to buy a stovetop pressure cooker. Now that Fagor has gone out of business, it seems like all the stovetop pressure cookers available are either poorly made or very expensive. No, I do not want an Instant Pot. [more inside]
Help me learn how to learn more efficiently.
In my twenties, I taught myself how to computer and managed to make a career out of it. Now I'm in my forties, my life is more complicated, my time is more constrained, and I'm finding it harder to acquire new skills using the scattershot techniques that served me when I was younger. I have no formal education beyond high school, where I was the stereotypical ADHD kid – terrible study habits and pretty good grades.
What are some techniques, tricks, or resources for structuring self-guided learning that have worked well for you? [more inside]
What projects can help me jump beyond a beg/intermediate pottery level?
I have three months full time in the pottery studio coming soon, and I welcome your help in developing a syllabus (as it were) of goals/projects to take my pottery game to a more advanced level! [more inside]
Tell me how to find a specific type of corn?
I'm looking for a variety of corn that, after cooked, is starchy and chewy and not particularly sweet. I've heard it called "cow corn" -- which I assume means that some people think it's corn that's grown to be fed to cows? But where can I buy this kind of corn for human consumption? Do I have to hunt down a farmer or some secret farmer's market? Sometimes I've seen this corn in Asian grocery stores, but not always...
Web host will not send transfer codes?
I want to move my domains and sites away from my current web host but they are completely unresponsive. I have made repeated requests via phone and email for domain transfer codes without any response. This has been going on for months.
What can I do? What are my options?
Where can I find a sturdier version of this bed frame?
I recently bought this bed which is gorgeous but the frame itself super sucks and started showing significant damage after a mere TWO NIGHTS of sleeping on it. :( I already complained to the company and got my my money back, but now can you help me find a far more heavy-duty version of the same thing? [more inside]
Best online data science degree?
I've been in management too long and my tech brain is shrinking. What's the best fully-online data science post-graduate degree out there that covers machine learning and natural language processing techniques? (more criteria within) [more inside]
Best way to store a mattress in a shed?
What is the BEST way to store a queen size mattress/box spring in an outdoor storage shed without totally ruining it? Details inside. [more inside]
How do you stay motivated in a job search when your job is exhausting?
I'm a project manager at a software company. About a year ago I started working at a company that had a great reputation; the work lined up for my position sounded really interesting, the compensation was fair, the work-life balanced promised to be very good. Instead it's been an exhausting deathmarch and the promised room for advancement has vanished in a reorg. In theory I should be search for a new job. In practice, I come home every day ready to collapse. How do you maintain the energy to do an effective job search when the job you're trying to escape is a huge drain? [more inside]
Twitterpated curmudgeon seeks depictions of love
About a month ago, I was lucky enough to have an amazing experience meeting and connecting with someone on a deep romantic level. However, this person doesn't live anywhere near me. We have kept in touch and text pretty much everyday and have mutually acknowledged that if we lived near each other we would be "a thing."
I am of the idealist sort that would move mountains/jump on a plane to visit this person regularly, but the logical side of my brain is luckily well in control here and realizes that we are likely to never see each other again and this is just a fun "pen pal" that will likely fade away at some point.
However! The silly romantic side of me would like to indulge in fantasy and would appreciate any recommendations of books/movies/songs/media that depict a situation similar to the above where the two people eventually do end up together. This is not my usual genre so feel free to suggest even the most obvious things (if spaceships are also involved, all the better!). Thank you for helping me channel my feelings!
Fainting after abortion
Why did I pass out after my abortion? [more inside]
April 29
Tips for sweaty summer sightseeing in Oman
Am heading to Oman (specifically Muscat) in early-July for three days, and by all accounts it will be extremely hot. I have been in the region before (UAE and Qatar) at the same time of year, so I have some idea of what to expect, but specifically looking for some input from people who have been at that time of year, and any ideas on practical things to do during the day that aren’t just sitting around the hotel. Are there any interesting indoor sights around the city or in areas nearby? Any interesting day trips? [more inside]
Where to park a large sum of money while we shop for a house?
We are selling our house in one of the highest-cost areas of the U.S. The sale will close in the next few weeks. At that time, we will have a very large sum of money on our hands, in the mid-six figure range.
Once our house closes, we will be looking for a new house in another area of the country. We'd like to keep our money liquid, so that we can act quickly if we want to make an offer on a very desirable house. However, there's got to be a better place to park such a large sum of money than a vanilla joint checking account.
Any suggestions on High-yield accounts or other types of accounts that you may know about would be greatly appreciated.
What amenities would you expect to find in a long-term house rental?
I will be renting out my home for about a year. I would like to rent it with all the furniture. What would you expect to find in a long term rental? Linens? Toaster? Kitchen Aid? Completely empty pantries and closets? Cleaning supplies? I’ve stayed in plenty of Airbnbs but only for a few nights at a time and that seems to be a different set of amenities. How much personal decor would you leave out? What about our plants? Any long term rental tips or especially good/bad experiences would be appreciated!
Concepts that are blue
Related to last week’s question, what are some concepts that are described as blue or associated with the color blue? [more inside]
What films dwell on the consequences of procrastination?
What films/miniseries are there whose theme is the negative consequences of procrastination or making lazy choices vs. the positive outcomes from stepping up to responsibilities or having a Type A personality? [more inside]
XML markup tool
I need a tool to quickly and simply mark up text with XML — for people who don't know XML. [more inside]
Canadian w/ US/CAN dual citizen spouse. Will my pot job affect her?
If I get a job in the legal Canadian cannabis industry, how will this legally affect my partner from the American authorities' point of view?
We live in Canada but she is a US/Canadian dual citizen. I'm a Canadian. If I get a job with a cannabis producer, will this affect my partner when they cross the border? What about with the IRS? Anything else to be aware of? We live in Canada but she travels to the US somewhat regularly as part of her job.
Starting a literary magazine. How much should I pay contributors?
Hi. I want to start a small literary magazine online. I have enough funds to start a magazine and to pay for contributors down the line. I am not certain how much I should pay contributors for publication? [more inside]
"Why would you hesitate to do what you have already done?"
I would like to replay the entire Halo series, once, with my husband on our local system. We don't have an xbox (but we do have a good gaming PC). It's been years since I paid attention to anything xbox or the world of halo. Can you please advise me the best way to get the hardware and software I need to make this happen? (Renting is acceptable if that is still a thing, so is emulating if it actually works).
Science baby
We have a baby. As is common for people with new babies, we don't know what we are doing and so read a heap of websites about childhood development. Which mostly seem to be pseudoscience and guesswork. Can you point us at resources that are based on science? [more inside]
Help me figure out what home I want
Mid 30s single guy looking into buying an apartment or home. But I don't have any pressing needs or constraints that limit what to buy besides geography. I'm looking for a structured way to think through questions such as
"how much would I be willing to pay for a second bedroom or a deck"
"do I want to be in a main street or not"
"do I care about the age of the building"
I'm thinking something along the lines of a workbook or book.
I yelled at my television last night. I want to do it some more.
So I realized watching something absolutely riveting is a great adrenalin release for me. What should I watch that makes me go “WTF”? [more inside]
Should I get involved in a conflict at work?
Should I take sides in a conflict at work between 2 girls [more inside]
Not FOO above FOO above FOO, but FOO beside FOO beside FOO
I need to find it create an Excel macro that will take data from a table in regularly repeating groups of three rows and convert it into three side-by-side columns. How do I do that? [more inside]
FPIES in toddlers? Breastfeeding on a TED?
My 17 month old son seems to have chronic FPIES to a number of foods. We are both on a restrictive total elimination diet because I’m still breastfeeding. Do you know anything about either of these things? [more inside]
Help me build my bodyweight fitness routine
I'm trying to lose weight, and I thought I'd return to my past exercise routine in order to assist that goal. What was I doing right/wrong, and what changes should I make? [more inside]
Cover letter dread
I'm starting to look for a new job after finishing my masters degree (hooray!), but I've found myself paralyzed at the mere thought of writing a cover letter again. I have no idea where to begin. [more inside]
Help me sleep better!
How do I train myself to sleep on my back? [more inside]
Good online forums/ magazines/ newspaper comment sections for midlifers?
I am nearly 50 so definitely count as middle-aged, live in the UK, I don't work through chronic mental health disability (bipolar 1), and have limited options for socialising through finances and social anxiety. I'm wondering if there are online communities for discussion or support for people my age to compensate a little for the lack of thoughtful real-life interactions. [more inside]
Making physical representation of an ebook
I've been picking up more and more reference books as ebooks, which is nice because I can carry them around a lot easier, but is also not as nice because they aren't sitting on a shelf somewhere for me to remember that they exist. To fix that I want some sort of small rectangular object that I can label with the book title. I'm around 80¢ a "book" with my first idea, can you do better? [more inside]
Where to shop for clubraveburner wear in New York?
Looking for suggestions...
Broken toe?
YANMD, but you might have a broken toe story. I want to hear it. [more inside]
Can an apartment block owner rent Airbnbs in their own building?
I'm referring here to the company that owns the apartment building, and not to any individual tenants (the lease for tenants prohibits sublets, including Airbnb). Philadelphia, PA, if that helps. Thank you! [more inside]
Copyright v Publication
I have submitted a book to a publisher for publication. I also submitted the manuscript and cover to the US Copyright Office. The publisher will be finished printing the book in seven weeks. The Copyright Office will be finished reviewing the book in 4 months. Do I need to stop the publisher or does the Copyright Office review continue and this disparity is normal?
Drag and Drop Form Filling Software for Job Applications
When I upload my resume to company recruitment sites, it is invariably parsed incorrectly, and I have to re-enter most of the data. Is there software such that if I put all my resume information into, say, separate Excel fields, I could just drag and drop each Excel field into the appropriate field in the recruitment site form pages (vs copy & paste)? I think this would speed up/ make less painful what is a pretty time consuming and tedious process.
Resources on survey fatigue?
I'm looking for articles and/or research studies looking at survey fatigue--but I have specifics! There are a ton of resources about the phenomenon of survey fatigue within one's own target audience (e.g., "How to avoid oversurveying your customers"). That's not what I'm looking for. Specifically, I am looking for research that examines a more global kind of survey fatigue. Is there research supporting the idea that the sheer number of surveys, questionnaires, etc. we're constantly bombarded with, has decreased overall response rates across the board?
What’s a reasonable amount of food safety for poultry at home?
I am by no means compulsive about cleanliness in the kitchen—but I am somewhat rigorous about food safety when dealing with poultry. At the same time, I don’t know whether my poultry practices are overkill (likely not) or not strict enough (possibly). Help me calibrate! [more inside]
Working with a sex worker 101: women's edition.
In the age of FOSTA/SESTA, how does a US-based Aspie cishet woman find a skilled, safe male sex worker? [more inside]
cheap, quiet wristwatch
I'm looking for a cheap (less than $40, cheaper is better), QUIET, simple analog wristwatch. Aesthetically I like the Timex Easy Reader sort, but reviews all say they have audible ticking noises, which will drive me up a wall. (A consistent faint hum might be OK but I'd rather avoid it.) Hope me!
I don't blame MetaFilter but…
"I don't condone this behaviour but the way MPs behave, they must take a certain amount of blame." Is this a logical fallacy? [more inside]
April 28
Birders ahoy
I'm making a book for my friend's kids and have a spot-the-bird page (key). I wonder if you birders could tell me if I've sinned against nature too badly in the relative sizes of the birds. These are native and non-native Southern California birds. Thanks!
Worldbuilding complications: Islam and talking animals
Would would be the Islamic schools of thought in a setting with anthropomorphic talking animals, particularly pigs and dogs? No, this isn't a joke. [more inside]
Please help me 'gram responsibly.
In part of a rather paranoid, depressive episode a while back, I deactivated my personal/professional Instagram. Surprisingly, it turned out to be beneficial. Now, I would like to re-enter Instagram and social media, but this time more responsibly. Anyone have any tips or words of advice? I'm concerned mainly about being mental health-conscious, privacy-minded, and the feasibility of this endeavor. [more inside]
NON-skinny jeans for a short woman with a curvy/hourglass shape
It is SO hard to find jeans that fit me. I am a short hourglass -- a size 4 or 6 (about a 26"-27" waist size), with relatively large thighs (and calves). I've had good luck with, randomly, Jennifer Lopez jeans -- and I have some Kensie skinny jeans that fit pretty well, too, but I do not want more skinny jeans. I'd prefer to spend less than $100, but more is OK.
How to have a clambake
I'm working on my goals list and one thing I've had for a while is that I'd love to go to a clambake on the beach, but I don't really know where to start. [more inside]
Birth playlist?
Me and very pregnant wife are making a playlist for labor. She is more interested in energy and vibe rather than being on theme. Can you help suggest some more songs that would be similar energy-wise? Example of what’s already on the playlist are inside! [more inside]
What are the best in-depth investigative podcasts?
In search of more podcasts in this format: in-depth research, story told over entire season/many episodes, professionally produced. [more inside]
Body butter like the old Deep Steep
Have you ever used Deep Steep body butter? The old version, before they cheaped out? I'm looking for a replacement. What distinguished it for me was 1) it was a true body butter, i.e, very thick, no feeling of water evaporating, stickiness, slipperiness, etc., and 2) natural scents. If Pacifica's Persian Rose weren't so godawful strong it would be perfect. Can you suggest a body butter I might like? Deep Steep's price point is about right ($12 for 6 oz.).
What does my boyfriend want for his birthday?
Buying a gift for the man who loves and has everything he needs. [more inside]
Anime recommendations with a progressing female lead
I am looking for anime shows which follow that common formula where the lead character is a young cadet/apprentice/outsider/beginner who turns out to be surprisingly good at fighting/piloting/whatever and progresses through a series of increasingly difficult challenges/opponents over the course of the story.
But with a female lead. [more inside]
Nature SOundscapes for Pleasant Peace
Hi, AskMe. :) I've been listening to the quiet chirping of the birds outside on occasion lately, and that reminded me that one of the things I love hearing, pleasant nature. I know this is an astonishingly diverse genre on Youtube, and would appreciate some recommendations. [more inside]
Crossword Creation
I’m tutoring an adult ESL student and would like to create crosswords using our weekly vocabulary words.Can anyone personally recommend a FREE site that will help me create and print crossword puzzles?
Where have all the stickers gone?
I'm looking to buy high-quality themed sticker sheets online. I used to get these at a brick-and-mortar stationary store which is now out of business and they had themes like "springtime picnic" and "going camping." My google search is a dud. Any brands or websites you recommend?
How to stop caring about this?
I got married late last year. My sibling didn’t get me a gift. It’s upsetting me that it’s still upsetting me and I feel petty and stupid. What’s the best way to get over this? [more inside]
Wireless headphone solution for watching tv
We have a TCL Roku TV with a dumb remote (no voice command). Our old Roku had a remote that you could plug headphones into (and we use that old Roku in another room). According to TCL and Roku, one cannot buy a remote with the headphone jack for this TV.
Thus, we think we need some sort of set up whereby we can use headphones (wireless) to watch TV after kid bedtime.
We'd also like voice command. We have a Google streaming device plugged into the TV, but don't want to use that for our primary interface. [more inside]
Casual learning about anthropology and sociology
I'm interested in some reading and listening about anthropology and sociology. This could pretty pretty gosh darn technical or more casual. I really enjoy learning about new topics in anthropology and sociology - I find it really energizing. Please recommend textbooks/podcasts/books which deal with these topics. [more inside]
Camera Roll v. My Photo Stream v. iCloud Photo Stream
In iOS 12, will disabling/deleting an iCloud account delete photos from the Camera Roll folder? Snowflakes galore inside... [more inside]
Online psychotherapy within US
My understanding is that it is illegal for online therapists in the US to have a patient in another state unless they are credentialed in both states. Is this the case? Does it matter if their patient has residency in the state they are credentialed in but is often out of state when they are treated?
Best Way To Deep Clean Carpets, Couches, etc After Feces And Puke
I am looking for the equivalent to using disinfectant wipes on a counter top for my carpets, couches and bed. They were exposed to vomit, feces and urine. I am a bit of an OCD neat freak and am skeeved out and don't feel comfortable sitting on my furniture or carpet now. [more inside]
Aussie mouse
Help me get my work survey on diversity right
I'm designing a survey with the aim of finding out how inclusive a particular process is at work. This survey will go out to about 1000 people, who are based all around the world. I've got most of the survey done, it's the ethnic origin question that is causing me headaches. [more inside]
What should I do with the space above my washer and dryer?
I'm doing a small refresh (paint, flooring) of my laundry room, and have a big bunch of dead space above the washer and dryer. I trust I'm not the only person with this mild dilemma. What are some good uses for this space? [more inside]
spreadsheet data rearranging from columns to row, can i automate this?
I'm not a proficient excel user. I have a huge list of stores with their respective addresses, all in one column, like this.
I need to format the same data but in rows, all one under another,
like that.
Can i automate this somehow? I have hundreds of entries... I just spent 2 hours researching this and can't seem to formulate the correct search terms to explain what i need to do.
I have access to Excel, Numbers and google sheets if that helps. [more inside]
Sex positions and significant height difference [semi-NSFW]
I'm a 6'0 cisgender woman married to a 5'4 cisgender man. We have a healthy and enthusiastic sex life but, due to the significant difference in height, feel a bit limited by the number of sex positions we're able to enjoy. Internet searches have been pretty unhelpful. We're hoping the hivemind can help us out. [more inside]
Can I cash a 4 year old check?
I’ve hit a rough patch financially. I found a 10k bonus check from 4 years ago, the company is very large. The expiration was/is 90 days. Are they obligated to reissue it? [more inside]
Small “I’m sorry” gift
My cousin is getting married in October in our home state where she lives. I live across the country and won’t be able to make it due to pregnancy (it will be too close to my due date to fly). I don’t see or talk to my cousin often, but I love her and I’m really sad to miss the wedding. She was very understanding when I told her I wouldn’t be able to make it, but I know she’s bummed too - weddings are a really big deal in our family. I’m going to see her in a couple weeks and I’d like to get her a small something to show her that I care about her and about the wedding. [more inside]
April 27
YouTubers to subscribe to
Looking for recommendations for underrated YouTubers. I currently subscribe to a few illustrators/animation artists, Ask A Mortician, some Let's Players, and generally enjoy highly skilled people demonstrating or explaining what they do best. But for the purposes of this question let's assume non genre specific. Please recommend me anyone who is producing regular high quality content that isn't already super famous. Thanks!
Advice for Buenos Aires?
I'll be in Buenos Aires, Argentina, from May 15-June 15. I speak passable but not fully fluent Spanish and am most interested in experiences involving plants, animals, art, and vegetarian food, but am also interested in culturally significant experiences and fun activities. I also like to shop at flea markets and artist fairs for transportable-scale gifts and souvenir decor. Recommendations? Advice? [more inside]
Your favourite books/articles about drugs?
This is a very broad question because I'm looking for a very broad array of recommendations! I'd like to read your absolute favourite books/articles about drugs, drug users, drug history, layman's pharmacology... Basically, anything where the subject could be said to be "x and drugs." Non-fiction is preferred but fiction is fine too. Drugs can be legal or illegal.
Buying a used fence and other questionable life choices
Someone has listed their used white picket fence on Nextdoor in my neighborhood. I went out and inspected it - it is 5 years old, wood, and could use a fresh coat of paint but is otherwise in good shape. 100' long with three gates, 4' tall. They're asking $850. Is it a bad idea to buy a used fence? If so, what would you say is a fair offer?
Looking for story on why you should buy art when you can't afford it.
A few years ago, there was an article or a post about why you should buy art even when you can't afford it. All I can recall was that it was a woman's story about a painting she loved and saved up for even though she didn't have disposable income. [more inside]
Casserole or Chili or ???
I have a long day in the car & etc on Monday. What would be a good slightly festive dinner that I can either a) make on Sunday & just reheat or b) have sitting in a crockpot for ~14 hours or so? Difficulty level: will eat seafood but mostly vegetarian. [more inside]
Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan
Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan: From the point of view of a traveller, how do these three countries differ?
Creature Feature: The Novel
I have discovered that I absolutely love creature books and because I'm a trash person with garbage taste I would like all of your recommendations for more. [more inside]
Star San for mildew on wooden cutting board?
Can I use Star San to kill the black mildew on a wooden cutting board? If so, how; and if not, what else can I use? [more inside]
ISO most durable residential manual dumb wall light switch
That's pretty much it. More after jump. [more inside]
Suggestions for wedding gifts?
Looking for suggestions for wedding gifts for a close family member's wedding. Please help! [more inside]
How to Maximize Security with New Smartphone?
As my 3G Samsung is reaching the end of its useful life, I'm reassessing my smartphone use. In the past, in order to maximize security and privacy, I have NOT connected an email address to my phone or used my phone for anything other than the occasional call (i.e., personal or sensitive conversations reserved for a landline) and the occasional text. Going forward with a new 4G phone, I would like to see emails in my phone without compromising my primary email account. What is the best approach to this and security overall? [more inside]
What are the benefits of a short commute that aren't readily apparent?
I'm doing it! I've had a long work commute for the past 1.5 years and am finally trading that in for an extremely short one. Aside from the obvious benefits, I'm wondering in what ways I may not have thought of that I'll appreciate it. [more inside]
One bag to rule them all
I am in the business for a nice bag, but can't seem to find one that fits all my criteria. Help, please? [more inside]
April 26
I don't want it anymore. Is that a problem?
We are the stereotypical longterm couple with mismatched libidos. Partner's libido is unusually high for a person of their age (40ish) - they would like to have sex at least once a day. My libido is nonexistent. Whose problem is this? Is a happy resolution possible? [more inside]
Strategies for success in a conservative, aggressive work environment
I’m a 40-something white woman director in a small niche consulting firm looking for books, strategies, and advice on how to skill up to deal with a negatively changing work culture in a positive way. As leadership changes in my company create a shift toward a more aggressive culture that rewards dominance rather than cooperation, how can I respond in a productive way that enhance my reputation and effectiveness?
I'm also interested in executive coaches who specialize in working with women. [more inside]
Online form that limits how many people can choose an option
I'm looking for something that can create a signup form for volunteers for multiple positions at an event, e.g. three volunteers to help with setup, two to run this table, four to run that table, and so on. Once the maximum number of people have indicated their availability for a given position, that position should disappear from the form and not be visible to later visitors, leaving only those positions that haven't been filled yet. [more inside]
What's your favorite car-smell-good thingy?
Bought a new car that was a little musty. Just needed a new air filter and some Lysol in the vents, and that fixed the smell! Now I just want to put the cherry on top with a nice smell of some sort. What car smell device or method do you use? [more inside]
What is This Tide Pool Creature?
Found a blobby creature in a tide pool near Bellingham, WA and would like to know what it is! [more inside]
iPhone fried. iCloud locked. iHope we're not doomed...
My friend dropped her iPhone into the bath and according to the repairman, it is fried. She was able to transfer the SIM card to a new phone, but she can't access the Cloud. Can you help? [more inside]
What should go on a home maintenance schedule?
If all goes well, I will be moving from renting an apartment to owning a condo in the next couple of months. What kinds of things do I need to do to keep the apartment well-maintained? [more inside]
What are the benefits of giving out an address that isn't yours?
I know someone, a profligate liar, who has on several occasions put in the addresses of people known to them for things like parking tickets or medical services, so that the resident receives mail at that address under this person's name. What kind of benefits might they get from doing this, as opposed to using their own address or a fake address or an address that exists but isn't connected to somebody they know? [more inside]
archive.org audio only streams as an active page
Today, archive.org streams in mobile Firefox only when the page is active. Yesterday, and for long before, it would stream in the background. How can I return things to the way they were? [more inside]
Can you help me find a more basic Sonos alternative?
More details below -- have read the Wirecutter and other review sites, but nothing seems like quite the right fit for my situation. [more inside]
Should I fix my glove box before I trade in my car?
I want to trade in my current (fully owned) car and purchase a different vehicle. Complication: The glove box door came off last week when the stereo repair people did something to it. I want to know whether it's worth my time, relative to the trade-in value, to get the glove box door fixed. [more inside]
Ear piercings vs headphones
I am thinking about getting a helix piercing, but I wear either over-ear or on-ear headphones a lot of the time, and I'm worried that this will irritate the piercing. I have standard lobe piercings already, and can't wear studs because I find that the pointy back of the stud is pressed uncomfortably into my skin by the headphones. Would I regret a helix piercing? [more inside]
New career suggestions
Career suggestions needed for someone with a heavy coaching background. What else works with that skill set? [more inside]
Finding the right path ... for right now
I'm going through a job search and looking for advice on what career fields and jobs I should pursue. [more inside]
Where can I get my ebike serviced in NYC?
Where can I get a firmware update/battery reset for my Faraday pedal-assist bike in New York City? There seems to be one dealer that services ebikes but they have a long waiting list for service. [more inside]
Insane new mom dream?
I’m going on a work trip to Chicago and bringing my 14 month old and partner. My child goes to sleep at 7pm. So I can’t go out and do fancy drinks or dinners or comedy shows as I normally would. How to recreate this in a hotel room? [more inside]
Better mousetraps. Must have better mousetraps.
I must confess that I am always in search of a better mousetrap, especially when it comes to householdy and kitcheny things. Help me find some? Suggestions of specific objects as well as stores that are good sources for these things are equally welcome. Further specs and examples can be found inside. [more inside]
Can this down jacket be saved?
I have a down jacket with icky stuff on it. Can I launder it (as opposed to dry cleaning it)? [more inside]
"Where's that accent from?"
People comment on my accent a lot. My accent is not one that is usually associated with my country of origin. I am tired of having to constantly explain my accent almost every time I meet a new person. How can I respond politely and briefly, while at the same time making it clear that I do not welcome this question? [more inside]
Mac App for triggering and mixing video live? itunes for video clips?
I've had several opportunities to DJ parties for people. I've been doing this in an extremely lo-fi way using iTunes with a secondary on-site computer triggering video clips in a playlist independently in an archaic PC program.
I know there are better ways to do this.
I'd like to find a program that will allow me to have a playlist of video clips (maybe compatible with looping gifs too?) So that I could run everything from my laptop. [more inside]
Help me ID these shoes!
I really love these shoes, can anyone ID the brand?
(Apologies for the small image, it is the best I have).
What can I mix with psyllium husk to make a low-carb cold drink treat?
Psyllium husk just mixed with water is sad. I'm looking for a supplement I can mix in to make a tasty post-coffee cold beverage. [more inside]
Car mechanics not afraid of rust
As a car owner for the first time in 15 years, I have some anxiety about maintenance. Especially because the mechanic who looked at the car right after I bought it (early 2010s Honda Fit) said that the rust in the undercarriage was dire and not something he could deal with. Are there mechanics who can work around rusted undercarriage? Do I need to drive out to South Dakota to find one? [more inside]
Access: where are my checkboxes?
Thanks to the great help I got in this question, my database queries are now working much better, and all of the records are appearing in the query.
However, I can't figure out how to get an SQL query to show checkboxes, rather than 0/-1 as the expression of a yes/no checkbox. [more inside]
Looking for more 'on brand' working-out-to tv
I'm on day 6 of going to the gym (yay me!) I'm trying to build a habit. I've been watching Queer Eye on Netflix during my 20 minutes elliptical (eventually I'll do longer and more varied gym things)
Any good shows (Netflix is easy, or YouTube, even Amazon prime probably...) that are 'on brand' like - you are fabulous/self esteem boosting.
More on Rome—boutiques!
As per previous questions, my wife and I are going to Rome in a couple of weeks with our five year old. I’ve asked before about activities, but I’m curious what unique shops might be fun to visit. We’re planning to go to Al Sogno for a toy, but might be interested in housewares, textiles, silly hipster stuff, jewelry, gourmet items we can get through US customs, and alcohol. [more inside]
Downloading Forum Posts from MOOC/Moodle University Online Courses?
Are any web browsers and / or download managers available for Windows 10 that could be used to download all forum posts on the message boards for the On Course for Your Masters MOOC on the University of Nottingham’s online learning platform, Moodle? [more inside]
Help me find the exact quote & source?
It's about the limited roles available for actresses, and I think was originally said by an actress several decades ago.
It was something about how women are typecast as mothers, hags/scolds, ingenues, or hookers (or one of the other pejorative words for sex worker, may have been prostitute or wh*re). [more inside]
Contacts Form straight to Google Contacts
How can I set up a form for people to fill in their contact information and have that go directly to Google Contacts? [more inside]
April 25
Where is a good place to live in CA with High Quality Medicare & MediCal
I'm looking for a place to live in CA, because I have been told by several people that it has great healthcare for folks on Medicare and Medicaid. Is this true? Are there any places left in CA that have good healthcare access for Medicare and MediCal folks and shared rental housing can be found for $750 a month or less? Price and healthcare are my top priorities. [more inside]
When is it time to distance yourself from someone?
So I have a depressive friend, he has been a good friend, but his depression has worsened over the last two years, to the point where he just doesn't care about anything but playing video games anymore. That's all he wants to do every day and that's what he wants everyone else to do as well. There's really no other way we ever communicate. [more inside]
How close can we really be when we have such disparate views?
A new friend and neighbor adamantly believes that modified Harley riders have every right to ride wherever they wish. Rap and bass music, meanwhile, should be wiped from the face of the earth. She sees no inconsistency in this view and resists all our efforts to reveal it. [more inside]
What's the Best Way to Remove a Little Bit of Tile?
There is a mosaic tile backsplash in our kitchen that was installed flush to the bottom of the microwave over the range. That microwave is now broken, and we have a new microwave to install. Because nothing is ever simple, the new microwave is just enough taller than the old microwave that I now have to remove a single row of tile so it will fit. How do I do that? [more inside]
Relax! We've got plenty of time!
I'm looking for books, movies, music - any kind of media, fictional or real-life - where people hang out and party immediately before a known catastrophe is about to strike - and then discover that they missed the last transport out. Their subsequent attempts to GTFO of Dodge may drive the rest of the story. [more inside]
Key fob failure, car alarm question
Will I set off my alarm if I unlock my car with my key and not my suddenly useless fobs? [more inside]
Please recommend a knee sleeve for support to use when running.
My knees need support when I am running. Both knees have been hurting me the last few days and the last time that happened I bought a knee sleeve that helped but I don't think it was very good or comfortable. Can you recommend a reasonably priced effective knee sleeve. I am training to run 10km( 6.2 miles) shortly so I'd like to get something very soon to use while I train. I am training on an indoor track -I never run on concrete and I have excellent runners.
How should I talk to my daughter about dating post-divorce?
I've been dating someone for 6 months, it's serious, he's expressed some interest in meeting my child. How do I talk to her about this? More specific concerns inside.... [more inside]
Now, with strings! Recordings of bands with orchestras
I was browsing on Spotify and found this album - Indigo Girls Live With The University Of Colorado Symphony Orchestra. It's amazing! I want more! Can you recommend? [more inside]
Road trip, Edmonton to Toronto - advice and must-sees?
We are driving from Edmonton to Toronto over 10 days in August. (Yes, we know it's a long drive.) Looking to stay on the Canadian side of the border if it's possible. Do you have any tips for the most enjoyable route, places we should stop and things we should see along the way? [more inside]
Reasonable to skip a tricky wedding? difficulty level: mom
An extended family member, who I am cordial with but not at all close to, is getting married in a multi-day event, far from where I live with very limited transportation. If it were anyone else I had a similar level of relationship to, I would have already sent regrets. My mother will be very unhappy if I do this, regardless of the logistical difficulty in doing so. Is there a way I can skip it? (more details inside) [more inside]
How to say "awww!" in different languages?
Today it occurred to me that many, if not all, languages must have an equivalent to the English "awww" (number of "w's" varies) in response to something adorable. Am I right? What words/sounds for this do people know of in other languages? Please include details about intonation too, if it's distinctive.
Software engineering: where is the data?
I'm a programmer (and long-ago scientist) looking into software engineering best practices. As a field of scientific study, it seems... well, let's say, lean. But, I'm an outsider coming into a conversation already in progress. What resources are there to catch up on what's going on in the field? [more inside]
Can I soundproof my bedroom against construction noise or just move?
Across the street from my bedroom they are building a 5-story building. It's been going on for a year and a half and will continue for another year and a half. Every morning at 7am, 6 days a week, it sounds like a garbage truck backing up to my bedroom. What can I do? [more inside]
Ticket 1312 - who has ticket 1312?
Help me plan a raffle. [more inside]
Can mods see who I am on Reddit via ip address, etc?
Do mods on Reddit have access to user ip addresses or any info that would allow them to identify someone using two different usernames? [more inside]
ISO headhunter for mid-career social scientist leaving academia. Canada
I'm a mid-career academic in the social sciences. I have a high-pedigree PhD. I am leaving academia and I have no idea how to get another kind of job or what I can do. I think my situation is specialized enough that what I really need is a headhunter. Do you know one or how I can find one? [more inside]
I have a commute-crush on someone and literally can't tell him
Me: biking on a New York bridge everyday at the same time in the morning and evening. Him: the same, but in opposite directions. [more inside]
Suggestions for intro music for tabletop fantasy roleplaying
I need an intro song for a private tabletop RPG campaign I'm going to run for my friends. It's kinda bleak fantasy in a northern European type setting, so the style and instruments used should reflect that. Ideally, because of the name of the setting, ravens should be part of the song. [more inside]
GovFilter: Learning municipal finance/budgeting (Massachusetts)
Looking for educational resources (people, books, university classes, training materials, etc) for building the literacy necessary to actively engage state/local government and their finance processes: budgets, tax revenue estimation, municipal accounting methods (free-cash, stabilization, reserve, bonding), grants, school funding, etc. [more inside]
Help me hear this song again
I know scraps of a song I had on an old mixtape, probably from a Seattle band. Do you know it? Could you help me find it? I am very good at the Googles and this is evading me. It's about some sciencey/museum women who come into a small town in the summertime and are observed by a bored dude and his friends. Singer has a deep voice like the guy in Crash Test Dummies or Handsome Family (but it's not them, it's some smaller band). It's got some fiddle solos. It's in a singsongy spoken voice. Here are the lyrics I remember. I am aware memory is fallible, so they are something like this but I'm pretty sure about the beginning and the end. [more inside]
What some good & simple girl movies I could show to a female ESL class?
So I used the pretty woman shopping scenes last week to teach tone in my class. Showed it with subtitles and it worked great. So this week I tried My Best Friend's wedding. Not good. Way too complicated for my class which is all middle aged women. So what are some movies that are good but involve direct and simple dialogue and which ladies in their early 40s would like?
Stress of returning to college and quitting
Was it a mistake to quit 4 weeks out.... [more inside]
Helping out a niece who has gone astray
I've got a whirl of emotions surrounding my niece that I'm trying to sort out and I'm hoping to get some perspectives. [more inside]
What is this decorative cloth thing called?
I randomly found these decorative gypsy/boho curtain things at different thrift shops and I would like to get more of them off the Internet but I can't figure out what they are called. (Pictures inside) [more inside]
How to do endnotes in a nonfiction (non-academic book)
I am writing a general nonfiction book. I would like to include endnotes without endnote markers in the text. I would like the kind where some of the text is included in the end note as a reference, and then a citation. I have absolutely no idea how to do this or where to begin (using Word but willing to purchase other programs.) Any ideas? Thanks!
Underground Coffee Shops in London?
Way back in 1999, I was lucky enough to stumble on a full, real, "coffee shop" in Central London. A tiny and illicit slice of Amsterdam. Do such places still exist? [more inside]
April 24
Houseplant is dying. Help?
Czech to English translation of an old postcard
My great-great grandmother in what is now the Czech Republic wrote this postcard and sent it (around 1913, I think) to her son who had emigrated to the US. Attempting to transcribe the message into Google Translate, I've misidentified enough of the handwritten characters to make a nonsense of it. Can you do any better?
Am I crazy for wanting to tear out an old gas fireplace?
We have an old broken gas fireplace in our living room. Is it going to hurt our resale value if we remove it? How much is a fireplace worth, real estate wise? [more inside]
Weird spreadsheet envelope counting problem
OK so in the ongoing saga of me trying to mail out a bunch of pins, I was ALMOST DONE packing & labeling them and I hit on a really weird puzzle that I would like help with. [more inside]
Home health care, or nursing home?
Is home health care an option for an elderly man who is so weak that he can't stand up at all anymore, or should we be looking only at nursing homes? We're in the US, in New York State. [more inside]
Favourite make ahead meals?
Looking to make 3+ weeks worth of meals all in one massive cooking session. Ideally they'd be something that only needs reheating from frozen but the first couple of days could be refrigerated (specifically I had the idea of gathering a couple dump and push start instapot meals into a container or two). Links to specific recipes would be greatly appreciated. [more inside]
Cooking resources for chronic stomach issues
Can anyone refer me to good cookbooks, websites, or other resources to help with cooking for someone who suffers from chronic stomach issues? [more inside]
US District Court jury exemption
I received a summons for jury duty with he U. S. District Court in Rochester, NY and would like to be excused from it at this time as the primary live-in caregiver of my aging father. Can you help me make an effective request?
I am asking to be excused at this time rather than for a postponement because I cannot predict how and when my father's health and other considerations of aging will change. (Website asks that you provide alternative dates within 6 months if requesting postponement.) [more inside]
Horse
What do you call the mechanical life sized horse that you used to find outside of grocery stores?
How to wipe data from broken iPhones?
I have two broken iPhones (a 5 and an original) that I want to recycle. They no longer turn on and are not recognised by iTunes when plugged into a computer so I can’t wipe the data that way. If I can open up the back of the phones is there a piece of hardware I can remove to ensure no personal data remains before sending them to be recycled?
PLEASE help me print the thing: Custom Paper Size Edition
I have a stack of blank 5x8 index cards. I need to print a thing on them. I did not expect custom paper sizes to be this difficult. HALP. [more inside]
Here, There, and Everywhere, but mostly down the aisle.
Wedding processional song, difficulty level: minor chords(?) and adaptable for solo acoustic guitar. [more inside]
How do you tidy and store kid stuff in a small home?
How do you furnish a house with kids, without buying new stuff every six months? What are some storage solutions you've found that scale up with age, and also don't make your living room look like a daycare? How do you keep clutter to a minimum? [more inside]
Hashtag word generator/mixer
I’m looking for a program or app (prefer app for phone) that I can have, say, 10 groups of 100 words (hash tagged, but I don’t think that matters for the app/program) that I enter myself, then it will randomly mix them up for me and give me 30, or let me just select the first 30. This is for Instagram, to make it easier to add hashtagged words and save my fingers. I want to choose the words myself, not have them generated externally. [more inside]
Am I wrong to feel hurt?
I'm taking my SO to NYC for a week for her birthday. She just informed me that she's been encouraging a mutual friend to join us. [more inside]
I need a better suggestion than just "hire more women!".
I'm a (cis, female, white) graduate student in engineering at American State School (for hilarity, ASS for short). Our engineering college has very poor gender diversity: ~5% women faculty members across multiple departments, and probably around ~25% women at the graduate student level. Racial diversity at the faculty level is not great either. We just got a new dean, and he's holding a meeting between the administration and the graduate students in a few weeks. The admin holds these "stakeholder" meeting with grad students around once a year, and we've been asked to bring our questions and concerns to discuss. I'm pretty darned concerned about the faculty diversity. However, what are some concrete suggestions to solving the problem? [more inside]
Tonsillectomy, not a gorey question
What helped you in the early recovery from your adult tonsillectomy? Specifically, wow this intermittent earache and general anesthesia induced sadness are driving me bonkers but all suggestions will be sleepily entertained. [more inside]
Do non-profit, non-commercial radio stations pay for their licenses?
I found something that obliquely seems to imply that unlike commercial stations, non-profit, non-commercial radio stations don't pay for their broadcast licenses because, since they are 501c3s, and have "underwriting" rather than ads, they not only get a tax exemption, but they also don't have to pay the FCC for a broadcast license. Is this true?
Best videos or podcasts on attachment theory/styles in adults?
I'm a big fan of the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment. A friend and I were discussing attachment theory and relationships, and he's more likely to consume YouTube videos and podcasts than read a book, so I'd like to find some excellent video and audio resources (but not the audio book) for him on attachment theory and attachment styles in adults and how they can impact our intimate relationships. [more inside]
Should I put a little sand under my rocks?
I have a sort of patio area in my backyard. It's irregular pieces of slate with too much dirt in between them, because I didn't have enough slate. [more inside]
Can I make Gmail behave like other imap clients in Apple's iOS email app
I access four email accounts through Mail.app on my iPhone. Three of these are standard imap accounts. The fourth one is a Gmail account. For the three imap accounts, swipe left deletes a message and swipe right archives it. For the Gmail account it's the opposite: swipe right deletes a message and swipe left archives it. Help! [more inside]
Moving to China as a family English Tutor
My 18-year-old niece is graduating from High School in June, and is planning to move to China to live with a family and be their kids' English Tutor. Can you give me an idea of what she should expect? [more inside]
What's a good, ideally free workflow to record bunch of audio files?
Let's say I have 500 words in a spreadsheet. I want an audio file per word, numbered, in order. What's the best way to do that, resilient to errors? [more inside]
Need help with a Japan itinerary for this July
Heading to Japan for a few weeks in July (yes, I know it's hot then). I'm spending more than a week in Tokyo and then am heading out to Kyushu/Busan. I need some advice on how to handle the return leg back into Tokyo. [more inside]
Are career coaches a thing in publishing?
My mom is leaning on me to talk to a career coach, but I'm not sure that would be helpful given where I'm at professionally, and how teeny-tiny and ultra-specialized publishing is. But maybe I'm wrong? [more inside]
Need some helping on best way to book travel in India
July 10th, land in New Delh. Then go to Taj Mahal, then {Rishikesh,Dharamashala}, then {Dharamashala,Rishikesh}, and lastly need to get to Kafri by June 20th. How should I get around? Any tips from people who've traveled around there? [more inside]
Which plugin can I use to create similar expandable text areas?
Which Wordpress plugin can I use to create similar expandable text areas like on https://artworkinstall.com? I want to create expandable text areas with pictures inside or, if possible, with picture gallery.
iPhone has stopped recognizing my podcast app as the main media player
I have an iPhone X (software version 12.2) and as of yesterday, my iPhone has no longer been recognizing my podcast app (I use RSSRadio) as the main audio player even when I'm actively listening to it. If I swipe down to get to the control center, where it used to show whatever podcast I was listening to in the 'music' section, now it has a random song from the iTunes app queued up as ready to go instead. [more inside]
Looking for an article about songbird tracking
I read an article online in the last 12-18 months about the tracking of songbirds. The article was written in the first person by a man, he was a ranger or similar official working in a park in the US...it was unexpectedly engaging. I can't find it now.. [more inside]
My beautiful dumb cat has FIV and FeLV and is very sick.
Just back from the vet. He's lost 25% of his weight in 4 weeks and has an elevated white blood count and anaemia. No mouth ulcers. He eats just a few mouthfuls of his favourite canned food and is very lethargic. I want to know what to expect if he doesn't improve (acute), and what practical things I can do to help him. [more inside]
How do I help this person find low cost legal representation? (BC)
Someone I know has asked me to help them find a lawyer. Essentially they spent a large amount of money on a necessity that turned out to be unsafe and now they can't use it. To me, it seems like the seller took advantage of this person's naivete, low literacy skills and disability. We are in British Columbia but nowhere near Vancouver or Victoria. How should I go about helping them find low cost legal representation? They're also indigenous and have status, in case that makes a difference. [more inside]
April 23
Lawyer in Minneapolis area to help with disability benefits
Looking for an attorney in the Minneapolis/surrounding area to assist in applying for disability benefits. [more inside]
Co-worker asking for money - how to respond?
Co-worker is a single mom raising three kids, asked me to buy Mary Kay products to help her out financially. [more inside]
Cleaning booze stains off of nice shoes
I splurged on some nice shoes a while back (these but in a different color), wore them to a bar, got some mixed drink stains on them, and hid them away in shame.
This was dumb, and I’d like to try and get them clean. The one leather store we’ve taken them to so far was pessimistic and suggested the best tactic was suede cleaner applied with a brush. I’m giving it a shot but their grim prognosis has clouded my mind. MetaFilter, how can I get these booze stains off of my shoes? [more inside]
More Instant Pot recipes like this one (single pot dinners)
Here's an Instant Pot recipe we love because, after a little sauteeing, it's very "throw everything in and you have a complete dinner." (Also it's delicious.) What I mean is you don't even have to make rice or any go-with because there's quinoa in there so it's a self-contained meal. Looking for more like that, for weeknights. Thanks!
How to compare Lactase units?
How does 9000 FCC of Lactase in Lactaid(tm) compare to Dr. Tobias' 500 ALU of Lactase? [more inside]
Selective Internet outage on a Spectrum line
I have Spectrum Internet, and for a second time in a month or two most sites are down (notably Google stuff), but some sites still work, albeit slowly (Facebook, and obviously Metafilter). I called the Spectrum tech support line, and they say that there is indeed an outage for my area. I'm curious why some sites work and others don't, and how that makes sense from the ISP side. [more inside]
Hospital insurance - accidental ER admission
I have a young baby. The pediatrician told us to head to the hospital for a jaundice blood test. They said they put in the order and to go to the "main entrance" and get directions. Before I realized what I'd done, I got us admitted in the pediatric ER and am now freaking out about getting billed $2k for an ER visit when I was supposed to get a simple blood test. [more inside]
What are some blue things that are native to Los Angeles?
I’m looking for some things that are blue and native/exclusive to Los Angeles. People, places, flora, and fauna. This is for a short story set in the 1970s. I have Dodger Blue and Paul Newman’s eyes—what else should I include?
Is there ANY way to challenge a majority government
In a parliamentary democracy with a first-past-the-post system? (Specifically, Ontario, Canada) [more inside]
Contacting movers: timing given complications?
We're moving cross-continent in July, and I know we need to contact movers soon. We want to hire full-service movers, who will require an in-person visit for an estimate. Do we contact them now, even though the house is in disarray and ~25% of our stuff is going to be sorted out/not taken with us? Or do we wait until weeks from now when we've gotten rid of a lot of it? [more inside]
My friends don’t want to see me : help!
I’m in my hometown staying with my parents over Easter - in total I have 10 days here. I normally live a two hour flight away, but visit 3-4 times per year. I reached out via a messenger group to about 5 women saying i’d be in town til this date and if anyone wanted to catch up, to contact me. I got one response- will contact you sometime when I am not so busy. That was last Friday. [more inside]
Ten hour layover in Venice with a four year old?
In the process of booking a flight from O'Hare to London, and we potentially have the option to have a ten hour layover in Venice on the way over. We (two adults and a four year old) would arrive mid-morning after an eight hour flight. [more inside]
How to keep track of medium-term personal goals (2 years in the future)?
I have a few big personal goals (financial-related, health-related, work-related) that depend only on me (i.e. no external motivation) and that I have been looking to accomplish in the next 2-3 years. While I've been mostly on track, I am struggling with the plateau where things progress slowly and it is hard to keep motivated. [more inside]
I need some house-buying tips about a specific situation.
There's a house for sale in our little town in Sweden. It's been on the market since January, and we know (through friends of friends) that the owners are keen to sell and move. We made a bid quite a bit under their asking price, expecting them to come down a little and then meet them half way, but they haven't. This question is partly strategy (should we wait? Bid higher immediately? etc.) and partly psychological (does it matter if we pay 'too much' if we like the place? etc.) [more inside]
I'm not a Pediatrician, but I play one at Daycare...
How should I handle a situation where our daycare teacher basically told us that our pediatrician is wrong, when it comes to treating our daughter's constipation issues? [more inside]
Where should we stay in Nashville?
I am looking for up-to-date recommendations for an area of Nashville to stay in for three days in September. [more inside]
Burnout prevention please
I don't have enough time to get my work done, due in part to unrealistic expectations. Help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
How to make a flat roof fire resistant?
I am putting a new roof on my house. The roof is flat. I want to make it as fire resistant as possible (particularly with respect to falling embers from wildfires). How do I do that? At this point cost is not an issue.
Thanks!
Hip, Walkable Neighborhoods in and around St. Louis?
A friend is moving to the St. Louis area and wants to focus her search on walkable neighborhoods with coffee shops and dining and the like. She's not looking to go totally car-less. I've sent her a link to this question but wanted more suggestions specific to the St. Louis area. Thanks so much!
Good little consumer question! Please find my sunglasses.
I once got a great pair of sunglasses at a thrift store. Insurance put lenses in them, and I lived happily ever after. Then I lost them. I'm hoping your fantastical internet searchery skills can save me like a bajillion hours of combing websites so that I can go play in the sunshine instead. [more inside]
Recommend someone to do courthouse document retrieval in Chicagoland?
I'd like to directly engage a regional document retrieval person rather than work with one of the national document brokers. [more inside]
Outdoorspeople of the northeastern US, what is your tick protocol?
Outdoorspeople of the northeastern US, what is your tick protocol? [more inside]
Do I Need to Find a New Vet?
My husband and I are not experts on kitten care and vaccines. We rely on guidance from vets. A year ago, we adopted a 9 month old cat from a rescue organization in our area (Last Hope Animal Rescue in Cedar Rapids, IA). We were given his paperwork that showed he tested negative for feline lukemia, had been neutered, and had all his required shots. We named him Yusuf (of course, because our last name is Stephens). [more inside]
How not to be lonesome on the loneliest highway? (Things to do on US-50)
Looking for tips on things to do/see and places to stay on US 50 this June: Pueblo to Reno. [more inside]
Examples of novels or novellas told through poems?
What are some examples of book-length verse, preferably in chapters or sections, published in the last 15 years? [more inside]
Rat shed, help!
I live in a 100 year old house with a weird little shed attached to the back. It has rats living in it and a few rats are in the walls of my house. I want them out. [more inside]
Brownie recipe with more flour than sugar, circa late '50s-'60s?
My mom (born in 1953) is on the hunt for a brownie recipe she had when she was a little girl. Her mother had sent away (probably from a flour company) for a little girl's cookbook that had a brownie recipe in it that she and her little friends would make. The only thing she remembers about the book is that the recipe called for more flour than sugar. [more inside]
Movie/TV scenes (on the web) with Awful, Awkward, or Great Introductions
I’m pulling together a training on how to make empowering introductions, and I’d love to find a few video clips to show as examples. Can you think of a a TV or movie scene where one character introduced another one in an effective — or deeply ineffective — way? I’m thinking the Office must have some... [more inside]
Poetry identification - beast of blood and bone
I'm looking for some help identifying the poem in the first two minutes of this programme. It sounds like a Middle(?) English poem that has been partially translated to my untutored ear which may be preventing me from successfully googling fragments of it. The repeated "Beast of blood and bone" is similar to the Middle English poem "Foweles in the Frith" but it's not that.
Why am I so upset by my friend not sharing a difficult time with me?
My best friend's mother-in-law just passed away after a long illness. My SO and I had been supporting my friend over the last few months as she dealt with all that was going on, but she didn't tell us that her mother-in-law had died because she didn't want us to worry. I'm irrationally hurt about this and I don't know how to deal with it. Help! [more inside]
April 22
What podcasts should I listen to?
I’ve been getting into podcasts recently and am looking for suggestions- turns out that I am a bit picky! [more inside]
What to do with an apartment that I need to leave
Sorrowfully, I have not hit it off with my roommates. They are being horrible to me and pushing me to leave. There has been some strong arming to make this early as possible, and I expect more to come. This rental company is not the easiest or most ethical either, so it hasn't been straightforward to get my money back (my deposit).
I have nowhere to go, and this has made staying in my space an anxious proposition. I expect harrassment - legal harrassment is a possibility too.
Despite this, I have done nothing wrong, and want to make the best of my space. It's one that's paid for for another three weeks, and that many people would benefit from. How can I turn this bad situation into something good? [more inside]
Standard-issue red flag, or extra-red red flag?
OvuView, the fertility tracking app I've used (and recommended on here!) for years, just merged with TempDrop. Neat, I thought, since I'd been idly thinking of getting a TempDrop wearable thermometer anyway. Then I read their privacy policy, and I can't quite tell if it's as icky and insufficiently private as it sounds. AskMe, I need a second opinion. Relevant links below the fold. [more inside]
Please help me to keto
I've hit a weight loss plateau so I'm going to start keto this weekend but I need some help, please. I'm having a hard time with recipes. [more inside]
Trying to subvert the glasses paradigm with an off-trend look
I really like these frames (Barton Perriera Rhiannon in desert) but, you know, classic case of only being available at a pretty high price at a place that’s out of network, etc. I have a really hard time finding frames with the right coloring for me, much less in a shape and thickness I like, and I should probably just chump up and buy these, but if I have to spend that much (and out of network to boot) I’d rather support an actual artisan/startup business. Anyone have any leads on anyone with a comparable look? [more inside]
I need a funny/clever/deep name for a temporary ensemble
I'm putting together a show for a new venue (the title of the venue is a play on the word culture) and would like a funny/clever/deep title for the performers as a whole. [more inside]
Help me figure out what to do with an overgrown garden/yard
My mother and father used to be avid gardeners, but for the past 15ish~ years kind of abandoned gardening. While my father was alive he maintained the garden by rototilling it, which he found relaxing, rather than planting anything. My father passed away 2 years ago and was pretty uninterested in doing anything in their yard/garden for a few years before that. Now 1/2 of their large backyard is an absolute over grown mess. What should my mother and I do about it? [more inside]
Can [my cat] eat this [plant]?
I'm finally in a place with more sunlight, including a deck. Yay!
My cat will eat any plant, indoors and out.
I've googled the hell outta this, and still I need help. [more inside]
Looking to move: Small-ish town with a lot of coffee shops?
My partner and I are looking to move! Hooray! We had originally set our sights on Boulder, Colorado -- we're triathletes, outdoorsy, love the mountains, and want a vibrant community. But now we're looking to broaden our search to other towns and hopefully have some luck in the job search. We live in DC and have found that it's way too big, way too expensive, people aren't very considerate, and there's no where for us to spread out. The dream town would be on the smaller side but vibrant and young, with plenty to do and lots of coffeeshops and cafes, access to the outdoors and trails (mountains are a massive plus), and a walkable downtown/main street. TLDR: We've realized we're really not city people after all -- where should we move?
Health Insurance and State Residency
My daughter is a grad student in MO. We live in VA. I won't be claiming her on my taxes as a dependent in the future, as we realized she could get subsidized health insurance as a grad student way cheaper than I can keep her on my company health insurance. (She has better insurance than I do...) Plus she is pretty damn independent and it would be a stretch to meet the legal definition of a dependant with her. [more inside]
Some combination of Detroit + Toronto, Niagara Falls
This summer we are looking to do a 4-5 day trip (a little flexibility on length) with my 4-year old, 7 year-old (boys), and my husband and I. We live in a big city so are comfortable getting around. We are planning on a Detroit Tigers baseball game as that's on my husband's list. I suggested either also hitting Toronto or Niagara Falls in the second half - possibly taking the train from Windsor or driving from Detroit (we'd have a car there for sure). Has anyone done either or both of these with young (but not tiny) children? Is there one you'd recommend? We like nature, cities, museums in about equal quantity.
How Do I Make My Apartment Smell Amazing?
There is nothing like walking into a pleasant smelling home. I just got cats and it smells like them. What are my options? [more inside]
Stories about surviving "invisible diseases"?
I'm looking for articles, personal stories or anything else I can read about living with or after non-obvious/"invisible" diseases, particularly thyroid cancer. [more inside]
How can I best get over burnout?
Thinking of moving home, moving apartments, taking a course or going traveling for a while. [more inside]
Charging 2018 Macbook Air with a feeble charger: wrecking my new laptop?
I've been charging my 2018 Macbook Air at home using an Anker charger (Powerport II IQ) and a USB-A to USB-C cable (a 3-foot amazon basics one). The laptop has had a couple of strange behaviors lately (not adjusting screen brightness, running the fans constantly) and I'm wondering if charging with a lower-wattage charger than the OEM one is damaging it somehow. [more inside]
Recommendations for Markdown editors for Windows and Mac
After repeated problems with note taking in OneNote, Word, and Email, now I take most of my notes in plain text. I'd like to try out taking notes that are basically plain text but with a little Markdown thrown in for headings and lists. But for work I switch constantly between Windows and Mac and often open files I created on Windows on Mac the next day, so if I'm going to do this I need editors for both platforms (even if it's a different editor on each). [more inside]
Dental protocol on "free" cleaning
My dental insurance offers two free cleanings a year; but is that "free" like beer, or "free" like loss leader, and how do I keep it free? [more inside]
dependable, solid foaming soap dispenser?
I get Method soap refills and put them into an existing foaming soap dispenser. The dispenser stops working way too soon. I'm willing to buy a good one, but last time I tried this, it stopped working pretty soon too. Can anyone recommend one that is dependable? [more inside]
Sublime song outros
I’m making a playlist called “Songs of Two Halves: Outros, Codas, and Tone Shifts” and I need suggestions of additional tracks to put on it. Essentially, I’m looking for songs that either develop or shift tonally in their second halves, with the stipulation that that development or shift be beautiful, sublime, or epic in some way. Examples inside. [more inside]
Any tricks for more Google Voice phone number choices?
Used to be, when signing up for Google Voice, you could page through tons of available phone numbers until you saw one you wanted. Now, for each area code or town, it only presents a dozen or so choices. Are there any tricks for seeing more? Or for getting a number on a desired exchange when a town has lots of exchanges (all within one area code)?
Name My Mums Etsy Store
My mother wants an Etsy store to sell her beautiful scarves, blankets and up-cycled reusable bags. I've volunteered to handle all the non-craft stuff like photography and so forth but we are blanking on a name for the damn thing. Help! [more inside]
Can this dress be saved? Domestically challenged edition.
I needed a very nice dress for work, and saved up for this one which fit me perfectly, and which was exactly what I needed for the office. I really only need one grown-up dress like this one, so I splashed out on the price. The problem happened the first time I washed it. Help? [more inside]
Punching up versus punching down
Some time ago, someone on the blue wrote a perfect little explanation of what punching up and punching down are, and now that I need to explain it to someone I can't find it. Thought I had favorited it, but it wasn't there. Could someone point me to a good explanation, particularly in regards to humor?
April 21
Dress a mother for a wedding.
Son's/DiL wedding will be in mid-July in WI. I need to find a dress that makes me happy and comfy so I'm not self conscious when I celebrate them. I want a fun mother of the groom party dress! [more inside]
Don’t know much about biology 🎶
My mom, who is not always a trustworthy source, has claimed that she and her mother reached menopause in their mid-30s. I know this is possible and am inclined to believe her, but she’s also a difficult person who is fond of both family lore and telling manipulative spooky stories to control me. Is there anything I can do to help me proactively forecast my fertility? [more inside]
My [33F] pansexual best friend [35M] is in love with me?
My best friend, with whom I trust my life, is pansexual. This past week, he confessed his love for me. And my parents are completely against it, him, and the idea of us being together. [more inside]
Short-term microapartment life
I'm moving into a microapartment for 3 months. It will have a bed, mini fridge, microwave, chair and desk, but no other furnishings. What can I do to make it cozy without acquiring a ton of stuff to throw out at the end of the summer? [more inside]
Should I go with her?
My mother is going to try to catch my father in the midst of an affair. Should I accompany her for support? [more inside]
Seeking Budapest-type Bathhouse, not Babylon
The challenge: I wanna spend a day at a big-ass bathhouse in the New York area (or at least accessible by public transit, without paying a gabillion dollars). The hesitation: would rather be sure I'm not going to see anything....skeevy. Help. [more inside]
4/22 Town Halls - where to watch?
Where in Manhattan can I watch the CNN Town Halls tomorrow night with a like-minded group of people? A bar is OK but it's got to be quiet . . . [more inside]
Need a great week at a lake house in the Western US
My best friend turns 50 this summer (how can this be-we were both 19 ten or fifteen minutes ago?!?!). She’d love to have us all meet at a lake house for a week-and chill. She’s in Phoenix, the rest of us are in Oregon. Criteria-8-10 people. Ideally dogs OK. Driving distance from Western Oregon would be great (cheaper for her to fly than for all of us) but flexible on that. [more inside]
What is this quote about being scientifically illiterate?
I heard or read a quote in the last couple months (although the quote itself may very well be older than that) describing how being scientifically illiterate was totally acceptable among "educated," "intellectual" groups of people. It was an argument along the lines that saying at a dinner party that you didn't understand science -- particularly Physics, I think -- was totally acceptable in a way that saying you didn't understand literature was not. I think I remember a comparison between the Schroedinger equation or the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle and Shakespeare, although I could be misremembering the details. Does this ring a bell for anyone?
How To Market Yoga In Downtown Los Angeles
I am going to be teach Yoga Dare Night Classes for Couples and lead philosophical discussion in a cool space in DTLA (One class is cannabis based Stoned Yoga class) I've begun FB/IG/Twit/Meetup pages. How can I leverage these platforms to drive more traffic to the classes? What other promotional means do I have that are unique to DTLA?
Pre Diabetic Easy Food
What are some good easy meals or snacks to have around when I'm too depressed/tired for proper meals, but which are also pre-diabetic friendly? [more inside]
Show mentioned on NPR this weekend?
I was listening to an interview with the lead actress in a new (HBO?) movie coming out and I remembered that I wanted to watch it but all I can recall now is that the lead character is a lesbian in a prominent role in her society. She always and only wears black, mourning for the death of a previous lover. I remember the actress said that she had access to diaries and papers written by the actual historical person. Help me find it? Thank you!
Middle aged walkabout suggestions
I have had some intense shit go down in the past month and I would like to take a life affirming trip and am looking for travel suggestions. [more inside]
Two-tone red and turquoise hair
Here is my current hair. I'm going for a two-tone red and turquoise look that I can do to myself, and I need it to be one that doesn't require a lot of styling. Looking for ideas for looks / foolproof instructions on how to do them. Little more info inside. [more inside]
How to restore homeostasis after extended exertion?
I am a runner and I feel like I have trouble recovering after longer runs (~10 miles). My face can be warm and flushed hours later, even returning after cooling in a shower. What tricks have you discovered to help recovery? [more inside]
Things to do in Singapore
My Dad and I are considering a week in Singapore. He is mid 60s, I am mid 30s and female. Between us we like: museums, history, scenery, ballet, art, shopping, science and of course good food. We are middle class so don’t have endless funds but can afford a splurge now and then.
What are some fun things to do?
Also is there anywhere in Singapore a white female should not go by herself?
How to Express sympathy to Sri Lankan acquaintance?
I have an email I need to send to a Sri Lankan business associate--what's appropriate to say after today's tragedy? [more inside]
Career Paths for English Major
What are potential career paths for someone who will be graduating with a BA in English? [more inside]
How on earth did this happen?
I was texting my mother today having a very mundane conversation. I sent her a message that said "I like the clothes you gave me." She replied, "Oh I'm sorry to hear [stepdaughter] needs so many tests." When I asked her what she was talking about, she wrote back "you just texted me that [stepdaughter] is having a colonoscopy and an endoscopy." I had written absolutely nothing like that and never had in the history of her having her phone. There's nothing like showing up in my text history. I just can't fathom how that happened. Any ideas?
I want my Solitaire back
I want the standard (Game Center) Solitaire game on my new iPad mini. Where is it? [more inside]
“added sugars”: details required for ingredients labels?
I’m eating a raspberry fruit strip. I bought it specifically because I scanned the list of ingredients and didn’t see any obvious added sugars (anything ending in -ose, anything “syrup”, honey, etc.). However, I’m scanning the nutrition label now and I see that there are 10 total grams of sugar, 4 grams of added sugar. What gives? [more inside]
Are there any non-snooty towns and villages in the Cotswolds?
Are there any non-snooty, not 'posh beyond posh' towns and villages in the Cotswolds, particularly nearish to Oxford ? [more inside]
Can I drink it? Nut milks in cold-ish car overnight
Forgot to bring in my cashew milk and almond milk. According to "Alexa," the temperature outside last night varied between 35 and 43 degrees. Neither carton was opened; they were fresh from the store. Safe or not?
April 20
But I want to sell things anonymously
I want to sell obnoxious trinkets online. How do I easily do so without having it linked back to me? [more inside]
Best way to plan a Tanzania safari and Zanzibar beach combo?
I have been thinking about doing a trip that includes several days of safari in Tanzania followed by a few days of beach relaxation in Zanzibar in the late summer (this summer if possible, otherwise next year). Please tell me the best type of itinerary for this type of trip plus any recommendations for packages! More inside. [more inside]
Family biking after the Chariot
My kid is outgrowing the bike trailer, both in size and in disposition, and I'm having trouble figuring out where we go from here. I bike her to school a few days a week, and we need a new solution. Ideally it will allow me to bring her bike along too, and not cost as much as a used car. It seems like we are looking at some kind of cargo bike situation. What family biking setups have worked best for your family? [more inside]
Do I understand this correctly?
I am trying to explain radio station market share and average quarter hours. I wrote these two paragraphs trying to compare the listening area of New York City verses Beckley, West Virginia. I've researched this to death but want to make sure what I wrote makes sense. Can you tell me if this is correct? [more inside]
Concrete Retaining Wall Planters
While on a recent trip in Europe, we saw many retaining walls built with pre-cast concrete rings or boxes, which allowed for planting in the tops of the overlapping rings. Are there any US sources for these, or similar? [more inside]
Slice it Dice help me digest long, nonfiction books and articles
I'm looking for an app like serial reader that will take the article or epub of my choosing and email it to me to read, one ten-minute chunk at a time. [more inside]
Best SanFran on crutches?
I’ll have one full day in San Francisco next month. Normally I’d explore on foot, but I’ll be on crutches, and, well, hills. So what’s one place I could easily visit that would be accessible and memorable? [more inside]
caffeine tragedy
I love cold brew coffee but I hate acid, please tell me where to go? [more inside]
Which are some good online platforms to learn more about Math?
I'm getting into things like machine learning and HPC. These fields, naturally require a lot of math, mainly stuff like linear algebra. I took classes on linear algebra, calculus, probability and statistics. I don't really remember much of it and while I have an inkling of what is going on, my understanding of almost everything except for linear algebra is not very good. [more inside]
Dining table for a messy, crafty family
Guess what Metafilter, I'm still bad at shopping and I need your help. Dining table desires below: [more inside]
Etiquette for delaying date(?) until after divorce
How do I tell someone that I'd like to connect with her, but need to wait until after my divorce? (Plot twists: social anxiety, friend-of-a-friend communication.) [more inside]
Where to find a TTRPG group in north Seattle?
I’d like to find a group to play D&D (or other RPG) with in the northern part of Seattle! Seattle folks, any tips for a transplant on how to find a new gaming group around here? [more inside]
a festival of colors - sourcing colors
If one were to have a Holi-inspired convivium, (people dance around and throw colored powder on each other and become rainbows,) where would they get the colors? [more inside]
How to Quick Pay?
I'm moving Monday, and my new landlord uses Quick Pay to accept rent payments. Cool! I don't need to write checks! But... how do I pay her? She says all I need is her email address. Does anyone here use this Quick Pay? What do I have to do to be able to pay her? Do I need a special account? [more inside]
Help me find a more reasonable substitute for dream vacation destination
I've been looking for the perfect place to go on our "babymoon"- and have almost found it. Little St. Simon's Island is to die for: www.littlestsimonsisland.com
A combination of it being far away and expensive make it a bit less than reasonable for us. Do you know of good alternatives? [more inside]
How to download ALL images in a WeTransfer exchange?
My friend has sent me 43 images via WeTransfer. They total 72 mg, as per the WeTransfer download page.
I can preview all 43. I can also download them individually.
And it's worked fine three times this past week with similar though smaller WeTransfer files.
When I download them as a group, though, it only zips 14. It's always the same 14.
I have a Mac 10.13.6.
I've gone through WeTransfer troubleshooting. I've tried this on three browsers. I've tried The Unarchiver app. And now I turn to AskMeFi.
Any ideas?
Thank you.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"
I'm looking for some authors / historians who draw on the parallels of historical events to give context to today. [more inside]
The Mystery is Solved but the Problem Isn't
For a year or so my clothes and bedding were getting small quarter inch tears in them. I finally found the source of the problem. The clothes were getting hung up on the torn grating inside the dryer. help me find a way tp patch this without having to replace the grating or take the back off the dryer. DIY, I don't want to hire someone to fix this.
This is (not) Sparta(n)!
I need some brown sandals that work for problem feet, which are also work appropriate for an employer that accepts fairly lax stabdards. I'm trying to decide between Olukai Upena and Chaco z cloud. Opinions wanted. [more inside]
Can I sail to Hawaii from California without a passport?
I’m having trouble Googling this as all questions seemed to relate to passenger ships and not yachts. It looks like the Jones Act was amended to exempt yachts (assuming it was foreign flagged). I guess the question is, could I reasonably just go to Hawaii and dock at a temporary slip without a government ID? [more inside]
How do I articulate my career goals?
I've just finished my master's in library and information science (yeah, I know), anyway, I'm now starting to apply for jobs and I'm stumped by what to write in a cover letter for an academic library internship. I'm supposed to write statement regarding my career goals and interest in academic librarianship. I don't have any career goals beyond "get a job in a library" so how am I supposed to articulate something more than that? [more inside]
dealing with last-minute publishing terror
I've been in a state of low-level anxiety for the last several months regarding an academic journal article I am not qualified to write about and really struggled with. Now I have to do the final proofs, I'm paralyzed with horror. I seriously don't want this to be published. But I can't back out. Please help give me strength to see this through and not care about what happens after... [more inside]
french, swiss, or german film about two girls that run away - lesbians
I'm trying to remember the name of a film I saw. It was probably made in the 1980s or 1990s. It's about two girls that meet in the countryside while biking. They strike up an unlikely friendship and then run away. [more inside]
April 19
Walking my cat named Dog or whatever
Is this really the most recent thread about harness/leash training a cat? There's lots of good information about the training aspects, but many of the product links are old. What's new in cat walk fashion (sorry) since 2012? [more inside]
Windows 8.1 running BADLY. Won't update. Service Local Host problem
A few months ago this computer went lame. And the network connection wouldn't connect. I completely refreshed the OS. Tried two different USB network cards. Nothing. So I was using an old garbage can laptop for a while, one day opened this puter and it connected. And then it didn't. Rinse/repeat. But now mostly it's connecting. [more inside]
Which SSD laptop should I buy?
My Lenovo 11.6 laptop is history (motherboard) after four years, so this is what I need:
- Same size and SSD
- Considerably more disk space than the 28G the Lenovo had, which after a while wouldn't even accommodate Windows updates
- A battery you can easily remove without being a confident tech person!
- Under $299 new
- Preferably a fairly rapid processor (my other lappies have really slowed down over the years)
That's all I can think of for now. Thanks. Some kind of major brand wanted.
The biggest porch box you ever saw....
I'd like a big porch box maybe the size of a small dumpster. Thank you in advance for your help.
Advice for fostering a dog
What tips or suggestions can you provide, for fostering a dog from the shelter (when you already have two dogs of your own)? [more inside]
excellent dentists in Berkeley/Oakland/East Bay who don't upsell?
I'm looking for a good dentist in the East Bay, one who won't try to push unnecessary things but who also really knows their stuff. [more inside]
funny warm up songs
What are some songs I can "warm up with" on keyboard before a show to amuse myself and others? difficulty: not actually a musician. [more inside]
Shoulder bag with hand handle...
Do you know of any alternatives to this bag?
It's just a shoulder bag but the handle on the top is important to me. Available in the UK, ideally less expensive than this.
Thanks!
Visiting NY City with a curious 10 year old.
So we landed in NY City yesterday with a ten year old girl whose interests start with Harry Potter (and sometimes seemingly end there as well). Looking for things to cater to her curiosity. More details inside. [more inside]
Articles about corporate politics and drama
I recently enjoyed this article about the internal drama within Facebook and would like to read more like it. [more inside]
Eating at work/meal prep during Passover
I've decided to keep Passover for the first time since I've been considering converting to Judaism since I got engaged. My fiance doesn't keep kosher, so we don't have that to contend with, but I'm going to follow his lead and avoid all chametz for the week. At home it doesn't seem too difficult, but I have a formula I follow at work that I'm not sure how to manage without rice or pasta or grains. [more inside]
What percentage of the world’s population are firstborns?
A friend who espouses a “firstborn psychology” claims that 75% of the world’s population are firstborns and their negative personality traits have a major detrimental impact on society. I can find nothing to corroborate this. Are there such statistics on birth order? (As a firstborn who doesn’t fit the profile, I’m considered an anomaly, he says.) I’d appreciate anyone’s input on the subject before I attempt to refute his theory.
Good Western novels for a genre newbie
What classic or modern western novels would you recommend to a genre newbie? [more inside]
Converting laundry room into a bathroom?
I would like to convert my laundry room into a 2nd bathroom. (I use the laundromat mostly as its more efficient for my situation). My hot water heater is there, as well as hot/cold water pipes and a floor drain. Just wanting to hear from others who have attempted this and what advice they would have for me.
Any Use for an old box of Borland C++ v4.5 for DOS/Windows?
I've got this 20 yr old mint condition box of this C++ development suite. I'm cleaning house, it's a shame to throw it away but can you think of any organization or type of folk who'd be interested in it?
Secondary Market for Jonathan Richman tickets?
My husband really wants to see Jonathan Richman when he’s in Northern California in May, but the shows are sold out. Is there any place to buy tickets that are being resold? [more inside]
Dreading wedding
I'm looking for suggestions on how to navigate going to a wedding where I'll have to interact with ex-friends. [more inside]
Should I mix perfume oils with alcohol or with a carrier oil?
I have many BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab) perfume oils that I don't wear enough because the bottles are inconvenient. I also have some cute empty clean rollerball bottles. If I wanted to dilute the perfume oil in the rollerball (because I don't want to decant the whole bottle for safety's sake as many are discontinued), should I use alcohol, or should I use a neutral carrier oil? [more inside]
Custom Storage Size
I need a large box to store a family heirloom. I'm having trouble finding a size and am considering a custom one. [more inside]
What reasons could someone have sleeping by the toilet?
My autistic cousin's landlord is nice, but really annoying and nosy. What excuse can we give him as to why my cousin needs to the room nearest the bathroom? [more inside]
Sources of awesome cards?
I’m looking for your favorite sources for awesome birthday/thank you/holiday cards — witty, quirky, smart, funny, and creative. Bonus points for indie sources. (Super extra bonus points for interesting paper choices.)
How to stop freaking out about medical symptoms before appointment?
I suddenly developed problems swallowing. I have an appointment with my primary care doctor next week. How do I shut up the endless worst-case scenarios running through my head? [more inside]
Therapist recommendation in greater Portland, Maine?
Looking for a therapist in greater Portland. Probably CBT, but open to other modalities if folks have suggestions that aren't CBT. Primarily for working on negative thinking cycles and obsessing about past actions and interpersonal interactions. Think anxiety, but after the fact.
Rookie tattoo advice/design
Contemplating taking the plunge and decorating my virgin skin. Specifics about what may be wise/doable inside. Involves detail and musical notation. [more inside]
Islay Vacation Rentals
We're looking for a vacation rental on Islay some time later in the summer - what's the best way to find one? [more inside]
Keeping/reviewing/annotating reference materials on an iPad
I have a bunch of PDFs and Word documents that are relevant to my work. Some of the PDFS are quite large, fwiw. I’d like to keep them on my iPad so that I have them accessible if I need them during the day—and I’d like a good way of both annotating them and keeping a separate notes document as my own gloss/aide memoire. Is there a good unified solution for this? [more inside]
Music degrees for music hobbyists?
What sort of musical degrees are available for hobbyists who studied something completely unrelated in undergrad? My interests are: music theory, singing, sight reading. If I want to study music, would I be starting over with another undergrad (bachelors) degree? Are masters programs available without a musical bachelors?
Thanks!
What's the best, cheapest option for matte photo prints?
I've got a photo exhibit coming up. Nothing major, the walls of a local coffee shop. But you know, I want it to look good. What are my options for ordering affordable prints online, hopefully with a matte option? Everything from 8X10 to 20X30. [more inside]
Reliable 8 mm / super 8 film digitizing in New York City?
I've got some irreplaceable family films from the 1960's and 1970's that I'd like to transfer to high-quality digital files -- or at least as high quality as one can reasonably get out of the 8 mm, Super 8, and Super 8 Ektasound formats. Looking for a reliable film transfer house in New York City that can do the job with minimal chance of loss or damage to the films. [more inside]
April 18
How do you apologize?
I'm curious how people apologize, and I'm wondering, am I doing it wrong? [more inside]
How do I go about getting a mortgage loan?
I’m looking to buy a house in Seattle and a couple of lenders are aggressively competing for my business. A quick Google search tells me they stand to make quite a bit in commission. How can I as the borrower get the best deal and lowest closing costs?
Health care & Arbitration.
For the first time ever, I am interacting with a medical provider who is asking me to sign an arbitration agreement before providing services. My brain and ethics says this is a big deal. Is this a big deal? Is it worth it? [more inside]
PowerPoint karaoke/battledecks suggestions
At last year's academic conference a small group of friends played BattleDecks /PowerPoint karaoke and had the best time ever. We'd like to play again. I'm soliciting great slides for this. [more inside]
Origin of the quip "the golden years should be called the rust years"
Mrs. Larry David Syndrome claims that her grandfather coined this quip (or a variant of it.) I think it's much more likely to have originated from a comic/humorist and he just was repeating it. (It does follow the pretty standard joke format of turning a phrase on its head by substituting an opposite.) Can anyone tell me who was the first person to publicly say/write this phrase (or a close variant such as "...more like the rust years") and what year that occurred? Or when this phrase first became commonly used?
Can I Donate This?
I have a 14.4v Ryobi cordless drill for which the battery just gave up. I have replaced the drill because I really need a hammer drill and not just a driver, but what do I do with the old drill now? [more inside]
Vegan cookbooks or websites for the Eastern European palate
For health reasons, my in laws need to change to vegan / Mediterranean diet like yesterday.
These are folks who are used to schnitzel, potatoes, soups with mayonnaise and sour cream. Help me find some resources (books / websites) that will be easily adopted. Nothing adventurous or with novel ingredients. [more inside]
Exposure therapy = sadness???
A two-parter: is my experience unique, and how do I deal with it regardless? [more inside]
UX pros, what are even doing with these prototypes
I know that this isn't a UX-focused forum and this is a very niche question but here we go. I'm a UX designer and I really like using Axure because it lets me quickly mock up realistic interactions with conditional logic and a data set that I can manipulate easily. For a bunch of reasons I've been tasked with looking into alternatives and I'm not having much luck. [more inside]
Comparing Seattle Marketplace Health Plans
Trying to decide between:
• AMbetter (coordinated care)
• Kaiser permanente
• Molina
• Premera blue cross [more inside]
Next steps in my career - start a business? Join a company?
I am about to graduate as valedictorian from a top tier program. In decision paralysis about what to do next, and wondering if my mental approach to it is not the right one. [more inside]
Helping my lower GI tract get its groove back after illness
I spent Monday afternoon and evening purging in a way I didn't even know was possible due to a truly insidious GI bug. I'm technically "better" now but I think my microbiome got all jacked up or other body systems are still out of whack. YANMD, but can I do anything (evidence-based) to help me to feel human again? [more inside]
Home printer
I need a cheapish home printer for my Chromebook. That's it. Only black and white printing. Can you help me decide?
What are some scary pop ups I can use to email people?
My coworker once sent me an email link and I clicked on it and this big jack in the box poped up and scared the crap outta me. [more inside]
Driving: I hates it! But it’s time to take the wheel again
Driving! I very much disliked it. It made me sweat through all my clothes. I avoided it a lot. Haven’t done it in 9 years because no license in this country. But I’m finally getting back in the saddle. Coping tips? [more inside]
Plant Identification Filter
It's a flowering tree of some sort. The blooms are slightly larger than a golf ball. It blooms in spring. My grandmother's friend brought back a seed from a trip to Jerusalem sometime in the 1960s, or at least that's the story. She may have also visited Jordan and Lebanon during that trip. The photo is from a more recent planting, growing in coastal North Carolina (Zone 8a). [more inside]
Welcome to the Twilight Zone
My boyfriend is still pretending to be happily married to his lesbian wife. How do I move forward without losing my mind? [more inside]
Free W10 tool to batch filename, title, alt tags for photos?
I have to upload a collection of images to Flickr and some other photo sites. I need a tool where I can batch the filename, photo titles, alt tags and metadescriptions/captions. Is there a free tool for W10 that does this?
Need Pro Advice on How to Create a Legal Freelance Copywriter Contract
I am in the beginning stages of hiring more clients for my writing career and want to make sure I cover all my bases legally and specifically for new work outside of a large company's context.
I work in the NJ/NY area and want to make sure I don't get rolled over by unscrupulous clients. [more inside]
Help me stop researching and finally buy a car
I have been overanalyzing what car to buy for months and could use some advice. [more inside]
Educate me on sustainability so I can educate others
I have a deep passion for environmental sustainability. I had a realization that my skills align quite well with being an advocate for change, and helping people learn to change. I'd like to turn my passion into a depth of knowledge about best practices and current science. What are the blogs, publications, news sites, or researchers I should familiarize myself with and follow?
Graphics tablet that works with Mac Movaje 10.14?
Hi! I purchased the XP-Pen Deco 01 graphics tablet, which seemed perfect for my needs -- cheap, for a beginner, large workspace, etc. It never worked because the driver never worked. I spent a long time talking to support; they were only intermittently available. Support insisted it was a bum USB cable. I am...less sure. Googling around, it seems lots of graphics tablets have trouble with the Mojave update. What do? [more inside]
What software / template is being used for these fancy slide decks?
My younger colleagues at University are using some either template or software to build slide decks that have a web2.0 look and feel, head and shoulders above your average google slides / powerpoint decks. [more inside]
Who is this US academic who taught humanities to disadvantaged citizens?
Several years ago I heard a podcast episode about a US academic who set up a free community program to teach humanities subjects to uneducated or unemployed people in his area. My sketchy recollections include: Initially his idea was treated with derision ('Poor people don't need the arts, they need real life skills' etc) but after a crash course in subjects like philosophy, many of his students were able to improve their lives in unexpected and profound ways, and all found employment - except for one who was fired after trying to set up an employee's union. What was this program, who ran it, and what podcast did I hear about it on? [more inside]
April 17
Can I share this?
Our household runs macOS Mojave. My wife uses her own AppleID and I want to give her access to my entire Photos Library containing ~40,000 files. If I put the library into our shared Dropbox folder, turn on iCloud and make it the System Library on both computers, what issues will I have? E.g., will simultaneous access cause corruption? Does a better solution exist?
The mythical power of knowing someone's "True Name"
In some European myths, from Plato's Cratylus to Rumplestiltskin, knowing someone's True Name means having special knowledge about them, or power over them. What kind of powers are those? What about other cultures of the world? [more inside]
Food craving driving me crazy
So, here's everything I ate today, but I'm still craving something that I can't put my finger on... [more inside]
Adventures of Wade and Henry, part one
I want to make custom photo books (maybe through Snapfish, which I've seen recommended here) of my great nephews having adventures via Photoshop. Maybe I'd write some rhymes to go with the pictures. Riding dinosaurs, as superheroes, on a spaceship, etc. So Metafilter, what's the etc.? What else should I Photoshop some little boys doing? Any other ideas to make these the coolest presents ever would be gratefully accepted!
Bad start to neuropsychological testing, how to proceed?
My partner has struggled with attention, memory, and executive functioning issues her whole life. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in her teens, and her doctors have always told her that her attention issues are because of her MDD/GAD and that it would get better as her mental health improved. 8 years later her mental health has improved significantly, but the attention and memory issues have not changed. She went to get evaluated for ADHD and had the intake interview last week and did not feel good about how it went. [more inside]
Incentivizing a lease buy out
I'm leaving Madison, WI at the end of May, but have a lease through end of August. I'd like to avoid all the risk of subletting and instead transfer the lease directly. I'd be willing to incentivize that with up to half off a month's rent. Good ways to do that without opening myself up to scams?
Art history question!
Can someone please explain (in very simple, pared down language) the difference between "technologies of display" and "practices of display" with respect to art history? Any information I can find online just confuses me further.
Great modern art museums I don’t know yet?
I've got some flexibility in planning my travels, and my work commitments are usually at night, so daytimes are for museums and modern art's my big priority. Tell me your favorites that aren’t on this list of ones I’m grateful to know already (ordered roughly by how much I love them): Tate Modern, SFMOMA, Pompidou, Kiasma, MoMA and PS1, Stedelijk, YBCA, Moderna Museet, Whitney, de Young, Hirshhorn. Don't need to be 'major' but I want to hear places you think are extraordinary.
An unbiased review of my illustration portfolio by a professional
I am a professional illustrator and, recently, my career has been horribly slow. I am worried about the quality of my work and would really like the unbiased opinion of an industry professional. Though I am not sure how to achieve that. Is there any site out there that facilitates something like this?
Can I Kitchen This?
Tell me about using commercial restaurant prep tables, (and prep-tables-with-sinks) in lieu of traditional, built-in kitchen cabinets and countertops. Is this a Thing? Are there any Things I should watch out for if I decide to make it my Thing? [more inside]
Social media gets one quarter portion of the residuals
After reading yet another "one quarter portion" joke today, a question occurred to me: are TV and movie scriptwriters and producers intentionally trying to create meme-able lines nowadays? [more inside]
Advice? Wedding, not inviting family but want to remember them
I am marrying my beloved. I have chosen not to invite my family as they are against my same-sex marriage. [more inside]
Bath tray for bath with no lip
Last year I got my sister a bath tray for relaxing in the bath with a wine glass, book, etc. I then discovered that her bath is built right against the wall with no inner lip, so she can’t use it. Is there a similar, clever product for a bath without an inner lip? The tray I originally bought was this one. (Don’t as me why they’re eating almonds out of an egg cup...) [more inside]
Blues singalong suggestions?
A friend will be performing a 90-minute set of blues music at an upcoming street festival, and she's looking for songs the crowd can sing along with as she plays guitar. ("Do 'Come On in My Kitchen!' I said, and was reminded that there will be lots of kids present, so.) She's aware of the Blues chapter of "Rise Again." What else do you have for her? [more inside]
What software programs/apps do I need to build an online test prep/exam?
I have been tasked with creating an online course of some magnitude, complete with a final exam, to be sold/administered by my employer. This is not my field of expertise, other than that I am generally computer savvy. What should I be looking for, what kind of learning curve should I expect, and is any of it free? [more inside]
Songs without choruses
I'm looking for songs that genuinely do not have choruses. It can be any genre, my fave is indie rock, folk, neo-folk but anything will do. What are your favorite songs without choruses? Thanks!
Where to publish SFF literary criticism in 2019
My book reviews have turned into essays. Where could I publish them? [more inside]
News story about female founder/inventor left out of news coverage?
I don't know where I heard/read this, but it may have been on MetaFilter. I'm trying to find a recent (< 2 years old) news piece about a new invention, company or discovery, where there was a woman central to that invention but excluded from the narrative about it. There was a separate, meta, essay/investigation piece about why. Trying to Google to no avail. [more inside]
Sending from PC to iphone
I have a Windows laptop and an iphone 5c. What free app(s) will give me a streamlined way to send a link or a relatively short piece of text between PC and iphone and vice versa? I want something that's less fiddly than emailing myself & not limited to sharing links.
Funny Songs About American History
Looking for funny songs about American history in the vein of Ben Franklin (Decemberists/Lin Manuel Miranda), Heroes by Jill Sobule, and F Delano by Kishi Bashi, which is a lot darker. Feel free to include songs about notable writers/events/crimes as well as politics, but keep them funny.
Looking for a new direction in therapy
For the last two years, I've been seeing a therapist from the Gestalt school, now I feel I need something more. [more inside]
Help me ID this knife
Typically, what would this 15-inch carbon-steel knife be used for?
Is It Reasonable/Safe to Run, Part III: Ft. Lauderdale
Some time soon, I will be staying at a hotel near the port stuff (looks SE 17th, near Eisenhower) in Ft. Lauderdale and I want to run 8-10 miles, starting by 6am. [more inside]
Buying a car: explain negotiating price to me
My lease is almost up, and I need to buy a car. Aside from the lease, every previous car I've owned has been purchased or inherited from someone I knew. I know people negotiate at dealers, but I don't understand how it works. At all. And I'm not finding that in previous questions. [more inside]
DIY hairstyle & makeup for a special occasion -- what do I need?
I have a special day coming up in 3 months, and I want to do my own hair. Please give me all your pro-tips for DIY fancy hair. Bonus points for makeup advice! [more inside]
North Carolina speeding ticket
I live in North Carolina and received my first speeding ticket today (caught in a speed trap, I realized too late three state troopers were pulling people over). What should I do? [more inside]
Is there a way to donate expensive medication?
I'm recovering and in remission after being diagnosed with leukemia late last year. I have a bunch of medication that has not expired and I'd like to donate it if possible. One of the medications is Granix which is a very expensive injection drug that treats neutropenia. It has to be stored in a temperature controlled environment (which I've done) and I would only be able to donate to someone nearby. Is there a way to do this? I've been told the granix shots are roughly $1200-$1600/ shot and it's criminal to throw them away when so many people lack insurance or full coverage. I also have several months supply of antibiotics and antifungals. So many people helped me during my illness and I'd like to give back if at all possible.
text response time?
I haven't really had a boyfriend in over a decade, what is normal with texting? [more inside]
Financial advisor for US citizen in UK
I am a dual US/UK citizen living in the UK. I will soon be selling my house and moving into accommodation provided by my new job for the forseeable future. Therefore I'll have a bit of money to invest but don't know how. [more inside]
Crush Paralysis
I can't believe I'm asking this question at my age, but it's something I have had a really hard time with. How can I get over the paralysis that comes over me when I really like someone? It's interfering with my life, and I would like to overcome this. [more inside]
April 16
Identify tab playing audio in Firefox
I have a lot of tabs open in Firefox. One of them is playing a Youtube video. I can't find it. Is there an easy way to locate the tab? - Note: I can't (probably) do the thing where you look for the tab with the speaker icon. I'd rather go to history and look for the tab with the audio on. For some reason, I can't figure this out ... Thank you!
Big dance numbers of the last two decades
Can anyone think of movies with awesome dance scenes in them, made in the last twenty years? [more inside]
So what's the deal with this old church, anyway?
Help me understand the cultural and symbolic significance of the Notre Dame. [more inside]
What cocktails should I serve with these entrees?
What cocktails should I serve with these entrees? [more inside]
Source of stray wifi signal
A friend, who is not technically oriented, has a stray unencrypted wifi signal in her house. It does not allow access to the internet. It is in addition to the normal 2ghz and 5ghz wifi signals from her router. [more inside]
Help me find an old DJT interview at a crowded political event
Hope me! My google-fu is failing me. Maybe some Me-fu mojo can prop me back up.
I am looking for a short video interview of DJT from the 80s or 90s, possibly on the floor of a political convention after it had ended. I believe there was a fair amount of background noise. The interview may have been conducted by Mike Wallace, or maybe even Chris, and I think it was impromptu.
What is this high-pitched bird in a New England backyard?
My parents live in a wooded area in Bristol County, MA and have lots of bird feeders, so the backyard is always full of wildlife! I can't quite figure out what this bird is, though. Its call (link) is simply a series of high-pitched buzzes on one note. What could it be?
Retrotransposon documentaries?
Retrotransposons tell us a lot of interesting things about evolution. Are there any great documentaries about them? Ideally it would talk about pufferfish genomes (hardly any retrotransposon content), the phylogeny of mammals and plants (lots of retrotransposon content in genomes that can help us trace family trees), the phylogeny of retrotransposons themselves (how are the different retrotransposons related to each other?) and the junk DNA vs. biologically active vs. evolutionarily active debate about retrotransposon content in genomes. Ideally, it would be aimed at a lay audience - Attenborough sort of stuff.
Help me get over my career depression
A couple bad experiences make me feel really negative [more inside]
When will my being named as a father show up in Ancestry.com?
I was named as the father. I did the DNA test. It's mine. Now I'll be paying all associated support the court names. However I've been basically keeping this to myself. The question is, how long does that last? If you're named as a father on a birth certificate, how long till that shows up in Ancestry.com (where my sister and I share an account)? Or, for that matter, other publicly searchable databases? I just want to know how much time I have til I have to tell my own family.
How to submit a KDP or e-book or e-short story on Amazon?
I want to submit some chapters of a book I'm writing to KDP or the e-book version on Amazon. I have both short stories and a book I'm working on. Does Amazon KDP accept short stories and poems? And for a book, can I submit my first 10 chapters and see if readers enjoy it, then add to my book in the months ahead? Or does the book have to be completely done?
Thanks!
What's some luggage I can bike with?
I need a new suitcase. I also realized my preferred method of getting to the airport is biking to BART, leaving my bike in a locker, and then taking the train to the airport. I did this successfully on a short trip with only a duffle bag thrown into my front basket. I need a new suitcase. Help me find one that I can easily bike with on some upcoming longer trips. [more inside]
Records from NYC housing court
Hello. I need to get a copy of the stipulation in a 2013 case in Manhattan housing court in which I was involved. I know how to do this in person, but before I fly in from out of town, I want to know if there's any way to get this information remotely. Feel free to memail me if you'd rather. Thank you!
Source of quote on packing light?
I'm trying to track down the source of a quote I heard once about packing light for travel, something along the lines of "Never bring more than you can carry at a flat-out run for a quarter mile." I thought it was from Mark Twain (of course), but I'm having trouble verifying that--or any source.
Help me help dad
My dad had a stroke 4 years ago and his mental and cognitive health have deteriorated significantly in the last year. He won't get help. Is there anything that I can do? [more inside]
surgery in another country
Does anyone have personal experience with having elective surgery in another country? There are a couple I have looked at including Thailand and India. Taking money and or insurance completely out of the equation, what are things to know and understand?
1913 Version of Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary on my iPad?
Based on this article – discussed in this post – I’ve used the iOS app Dictionary Universal to access the 1913 version of Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. It was easy – the app. linked to it in its settings, and I clicked the link and it downloaded the whole dictionary.
And the app *still* appears to link to it. But I got a new iPad recently and the link downloads something else – an abridged version of that dictionary.
Please help me get the real unabridged 1913 version of the Webster’s dictionary back on my iPad.
What to do about neighbor's cat?
We have a neighbor, who despite multiple requests, permits her uncut tom cat to roam the neighborhood. Because of this, I've learned I can't open my windows, or her cat tries to attack my cats through the screen. Even if the window is closed, he attacks. I've had to replace two screens just in the last month, and another needs to be replaced after last night. [more inside]
Vegetarian shank bones?
I'm having some friends over for Passover on Saturday. I'm not making brisket because 3/4 of us are vegetarian. However, man cannot live on charoset and matzoh ball soup alone. What is your favorite Kosher for Passover vegetarian main dish? [more inside]
Periodontest Probing for Pockets - The Aftermath Question
So I have periodontal disease and Dr. was probing and probing and now everywhere that probe went measuring pockets in my gums, I am sore and hurting. [more inside]
Track pending checks online with Chase?
In the old days, I'd write all transactions in my checkbook. Nowadays, when I use a check to pay for something big (like my son's daycare tuition), I have a written record, but it doesn't get tracked online with all my Chase debit card purchases. Is there any way to add notes about pending checks to my Chase account? [more inside]
Explain LaTex to me like I’m 5
I have a slide deck in LaTex that I need to personalize (change templates, change some text), export to pdf, and present. Today. I have a Mac. Are there good tutorials for these tasks? [more inside]
Cat tooth cleaning and anesthesia - your/your cat's experiences
Our cat, the very Reverend Dr. Professor Cat, probably will need a tooth cleaning under anesthetic. I'm worried about this. What has your experience been and what steps did you take to make sure the vet knew what they were doing? [more inside]
What books like Beloved are appropriate for 6th graders?
I'm getting ready for a literature group with my 6th graders, and I would love to introduce them to Toni Morrison. But is it age-appropriate? [more inside]
Terribly neglected deep-cycle battery
Four years ago, I installed a sump pump in my basement that can be powered by a deep-cycle marine battery. I little while ago, I discovered that the system’s manual advises topping off the cells with fresh water monthly, a regimen of care that I’ve never undertaken. The attached battery monitor/tender hasn’t given any alerts despite my neglect. Can I reboot my care of this battery? How to start over? Or is it best just to replace after so long, given the stakes?
DID and race
Alters of people with disassociative identity disorder who are of a different race than the host/main person: how would that even work? [more inside]
Should I move misdelivered email to the bin or spam?
My Gmail account receives email from two email addresses. Unfortunately I get a lot of mail sent to the Gmail one even though I never give it out. Since I can't disable the address, should I move email sent to the Gmail address (and only the Gmail address) to the bin or spam? [more inside]
Is rapid weight gain on Abilify common?
I've been on Abilify since January, when I was about 150. It worked immediately, which was awesome. Now its efficacy has sort of plateaued... But I weigh 170 and counting. I feel a little like Tim Allen in The Santa Clause during his transformation into Santa. Psych says, eh, not a typical side effect. I say, mmm, sure Jan. Did you gain weight on Abilify, and if so, was it the kind that goes away, or the pernicious kind that sticks around?
April 15
How to overcome developer's block? (Or is it burnout?)
Recently, I've been getting very little work done, despite an abundance of it to be done, and flexible, reasonable working conditions. How do I escape this rut? [more inside]
Should I quit my job?
I have come into a significant amount of money, and am thinking about quitting my job. What are some of the things I should be thinking through before making the decision? [more inside]
Obrigado? Obrigada?
We're traveling in Portugal and want to say thank you. I identify as male, partner as female, both native English speakers and we're getting conflicting information as to the use of "obrigado" & "obrigada." [more inside]
The cat is coming from inside the couch.
My little monsters - always innovating in the art of destroying our precious few pieces of furniture - have recently dug a hole through the bottom of the couch and enjoy climbing inside the guts to make a private crazytime leisure fort. I've temporarily covered the hole(s) with aluminum foil, but ... what fabric can I replace it with that will be tougher and more resistant to their future couch-fort spelunking?
Backing up my iPod and iPhone sans iTunes
Which software is best for backing up iPod and iPhone? (iTunes does not work right on my computer). I would love to preserve iPhone notes and photos and most importantly, my iPod's playlists.
And how do I add music to my iPod if iTunes won't recognize it? Is there an alternative program I could use for that? [more inside]
Open Office Woes
I've spent my entire career (admittedly a 4 1/2 year career) working in open plan offices and it's never really been an issue until now, but we've just moved to a new area and we get the coffee machine gossip, the personal phone calls, the "let's sit somewhere an collaborate" talking, on and on and on. I would like suggestions for noise-blocking devices that are comfortable over the course of a the workday. Or other suggestions to make my desk location less annoying. [more inside]
Good fix, replacement for Urbanears Medis?
The microphone on my earbuds is coming across to listeners as scratchy and quiet. How can I fix this? Or what would make an identical replacement to them (Urbanears Medis)? [more inside]
Replacing existing SquareSpace site
I'm building a SquareSpace site for a family member's business. I'm good enough with the site builder for my own purposes, but am wondering what the easiest way to create a site on behalf of someone else, and then replace the existing site, is. [more inside]
Are these bed bugs biting me?? (Pictures enclosed)
Had numerous bites that I thought were mosquitos but they all healed and then have come back even more?? Pictures inside. [more inside]
How to get into farming these days?
I have, after years of consideration, decided to quit my desk job in Seattle and find a farming job next spring. What do I need to know?? [more inside]
What radical queer political groups exist in the world?
What are the best radical queer political groups? e.g. Queer Liberation Front, No Justice No Pride, Free Pride (Glasgow). Any queers in the world that are some combination of anti-capitalist, anti-war, anti-fascist, anti-corporate or pro-queer liberation.
Disappearing Health Savings Account (HSA)
The company with whom I had my HSA apparently cashed it out and gave it to my ex-employer. Was this even legit? What do I do now? [more inside]
Suddenly can't access Amazon Prime through Roku TV
I have a Roku TV with several streaming channels set up, along with cable. Suddenly I can't access Amazon Prime TV. I click on either the Amazon Prime button on the remote or the icon on the home TV screen. It shows the Prime logo for a sec, then just goes back to the home screen without ever opening Prime. This is a new problem since yesterday; I've never had issues accessing Prime before. All the other streaming channels work as usual. I thought maybe my Prime account membership had lapsed, but I checked and that's still set up. Anyone else had this issue? I have tried turning the TV off and on (as well as cable, just to cover my bases), but it doesn't work. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Cancelled Verizon internet service, getting billed for another month
I cancelled Verizon internet on the 28th of February and Verizon actually got around to disconnecting service on the 04th of March (with email confirmation on the 28th of both these things). They're now trying to charge my for the entire month of March as a "closing statement", which I'm a bit mad about. Mainly as it looks like I'm paying up for their inability to act on canceled service in a timely fashion? [more inside]
Superbranding trend in athletic gear and clothing
What is this superbranding trend in athletic gear and clothes? It is not just Nike. Huge, huge logos on clothes, athletic shoes, jogging sets, hoodies, and some of the products have multiple logos right next to each other. It was suggested that it started because of the brand Supreme, but looking through their products the clothing they offer doesn't really have big logos like that, even if the bags and hats have their signature logo. And I am looking for a more nuanced or even academic explanation and history, possibly like the interesting one in "The Devil Wears Prada." Has anyone seen any detailed articles, even in academic journals, or in books or other publications that examine it in detail? "Overbranding", which is what sneakernews referenced as part of Nike's name for that pair of shoes, seems to firmly mean negatively overdoing it with your brand, so I just called it "Superbranding" until I learn what the actual used term is. What's the story here?
What NOT to move
I've never made an inter-state (let alone cross-country) move as an adult. What are some things we should not pack? [more inside]
Learning geology from youtube
What are the best videos on Youtube for developing an understanding of geology, rock types, and plate tectonics? I'm looking for visuals that help me learn, or just great explanations. Prefer an in-the-mountains perspective over a classroom-with-diagrams perspective. Thank you.
How does a digital nomad make friends?
I have the opportunity to work remotely from South America. I'm afraid that I'll try the digital nomad life and end up just spending all of my time alone in a hotel room. How can I plan ahead to find community in a foreign place? [more inside]
Seeking more info about the grad school universe
I'm writing a novel in which the two main characters are in grad school, at Berkeley. She's sociology, he's history. This is a world I know nothing about -- the intensity of a PhD program, the day to day, and what it's like to live through it. Thus, I keep throwing questions up here, and I've gotten incredibly helpful replies. [more inside]
Best strategy to get hospital bill reduced
I had surgery on February 19 and have a hospital bill (just the hospital, not the surgeon, anesthetist, etc) of about $2200, which I know in the scheme of things is not terrible but it makes my financial situation even more precarious in my newly-divorced, newly-employed, looking-at-more-expensive-surgery-and-treatment-soon state. Can I negotiate this down? What do I say? I could possibly pay it in cash if they would knock it down like 20%. Is it better to talk to them sooner or let it sit for a while? All advice welcome.
Seeking depictions of healthy anger
Looking for movies, shows, and books that depict someone feeling and expressing healthy anger. [more inside]
Just tell me what laptop to buy
I guess I need a computer to do specific things now? But I don't know exactly what I need. I can explain. [more inside]
Recovering a password from the Instagram App
I lost a bunch of passwords, and now I need to try to recover my Instagram account password. I am logged into the IG app on my iPhone. Can I get the password out of the IG app? [more inside]
help me understand how and where to freelance a software dev project
I am considering launching a product. i have the complete marketing profile etc ready and am confident of it. i need to now have it developed (is that all?). i want to freelance a developer for this. help me with the challenges (AKA what don't I know that i don't know?) [more inside]
Is it acceptable to use this as a source in a book I am writing?
I am writing a book, and there is a source I really, really, really want to use, but it seems to be impossible to verify its authenticity. [more inside]
Athens ATH to Delphi
Hi Folks,
My family is headed to Greece in early May. We are arriving in Athens around 1p local and need to get to Delphi that night. Is there a bus from the airport? I'm having a tough time finding good info on the web.
Parking and pre-gaming for Greek Theatre (Berkeley)
I will be attending Friday's CHVRCHES show at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley (YAY) and have questions about parking and dinner/drinks. [more inside]
Activities for child with limited range of motion
I'm looking for fun activities for that a 7-year-old - with very limited range of motion of her upper body - can play with an 8-year-old who has complete mobility. [more inside]
Speech to text transcription for Mac?
So the industry standard for dictation to text, Nuance's Dragon software, has been discontinued on the Mac platform. There is a an app for iOS, Dragon Anywhere, but it is...lacking. The biggest problem is that it cuts out and stops recording if it drops the internet connection, but doesn't alert you to this fact. So if, like me, you close your eyes or zone out to get in the flow, you can lose thousands of words. My current work around is to record voice memos, then play those back over a speaker into my freaking phone, which then transcribes them. Which is ridiculous. Help? [more inside]
Time for another round of Name That Scat
While cleaning my basement I found an alarming pile of what I assume is poop, though I would be delighted to discover it was something else. [more inside]
Managing HOSTS file Ad-Blocking on Win10
I'm getting ready to set up a new Win10 computer, and I was wondering what was the best method for handling Ad-Blocking via HOSTS File these days. [more inside]
April 14
Navigating relationship with crush/friend after rejection
After telling my feelings to and being rejected by a crush / friend at the end of last year, I'm having trouble moving on from the situation while still seeing him every week. Looking for perspectives/wisdom. Details inside. [more inside]
Tell me how much a mattress cost.
I'm (unfortunately) mattress shopping, and discussions with friends and family about my trials have provoked a question. Is there any tangible value to a $1,000-$1,300 mattress over a sub-$600 mattress? Assume that size, firmness, type, and comfort level, and financial impact doesn't play a role. [more inside]
Listening to kids these days
Can you recommend some new rock-ish music for me? I'm particularly interested in expanding my knowledge of younger and female artists, to counterbalance my natural gravitation toward '90s-early '00s dad rock (The National, Spoon, Belle and Sebastian). Some artists I would classify this way whose work I have enjoyed: TORRES, Julien Baker, Lucy Dacus, Courtney Barnett, maybe Mitski. Thanks for your help with my aspirations to be a Cool Musical Youth again!
Surely there’s an app for this
I’m a late 20s/early 30s (vague to protect my identity!!!) white woman in tech in Silicon Valley. Is there any actual research on how people in my field, in this region, react to how I might dress? [more inside]
I Don't Know
Is there a term, or a body of knowledge, or a study, or a truth, that people who are aware they are less educated and unworldly have depression and decreased satisfaction with life? [more inside]
very narrow single-walled water bottle?
I'd like to buy a no-frills water bottle that is single-walled and either stainless steel (like Klean Kanteen) or BPA-free plastic (like Nalgenes.) The key here is that it needs to be rather long and slim... [more inside]
Looking for a debt repayment calculator with some specific requirements
I'm trying to take better control of my finances this year. I have $10k of debt. I want to know the best way to pay them off.
The problem I have is that ALL of my debt is in zero interest cards. So debt repayment calculator view them all as equally pressing. [more inside]
Do you love your wedge sleep pillow?
I'm looking for one of those "sleep wedges" that slightly elevate the torso to prevent snoring. I'd strongly prefer natural or at least non-offgassing materials. Ideas? [more inside]
Can you help me update my Chrome search engine for Google Translate?
I had this Chrome search engine from years and years ago. It worked great until something changed a while back (possibly the Google Translate URL parameters), and now no dice. I've been getting by just updating the 3 arguments in a bookmark for the search URL, but can you help me update my search engine instead? [more inside]
My house is built like a tank that I can't drill into
I live in a 1950s house and when trying to hang window blinds I have discovered that there is some sort of metal frame around the windows that I can't drill through. I did successfully put up blinds for one pair of windows, but was only able to drill one hole for each mount. I used a standard drill bit, but it took a lot of time on each hole. [more inside]
What do you wear on your bike commute?
What clothes for your spring bike commute? [more inside]
NOAA thinks my Echo is in Minnesota!
We have Amazon Echos all through the house, and they are all correctly set up to show our location as Athens, Ohio. However, when we ask Alexa to play the feed from NOAA Weather Radio, it launches a feed from some place in Minnesota! Does anyone know how to get localized NOAA Weather feeds on their Echo? [more inside]
Search alerts still available on Facebook Marketplace?
I'm new to Facebook Marketplace. I would like to set up an alert for one of my searches on it, so I get a notification when a new listing is created that meets those search criteria. From Googling this I see that this rather obvious feature at least USED to exist, but it's proven so impossible for me to actually put in place for me that I wonder if it still exists. Does it exist, and if so, how do I do it?
Domain Registrar with Professional Options
I'm likely to be researching options for a new domain registrar soon. This would be for a relatively large organization. A few specific features follow that would be nice to have: [more inside]
I don't know how to turn my oven on
I must be the greatest moron on the face of this planet. So, I moved to a new apartment. I want to use its oven. And I have no idea how to turn it on. This is what it looks like. It's gas on top, but the oven is supposed to be electric. It's plugged in. But what the hell do I do? Just cranking the timer doesn't work. There's no button to just push to say "go". I don't know what's going on. What do I do?
How to find this wild-looking Donnie Yen film?
Does anyone have an idea where I might be able to buy or stream or download 1985's Mismatched Couples, which based on the trailer is a ridiculous and joyful mix of martial arts and hip hop starring a very young Donnie Yen?
back on my beat
Have you ever, as an adult, dedicated a period of time to selfishness/understanding what you enjoy for your own sake/having fun for fun's sake? What was it like? What parameters did you keep in mind? [more inside]
In need of classroom discipline strategies
What types of classroom managements strategies can I use for an after -school program? Unique challenges inside (I'm not an educator filter/so the perspective of teachers might help?) [more inside]
Confusing relationship - advice?
I recently was in a complicated brief relationship with someone who had just gotten out of a long-term relationship with someone who cheated on him. Despite red flags, he said he was over it and I liked his company, was very attracted to him, and he was fun to be around. We were a similar space in life too, both not in University (I had just had to drop out due to serious sickness I contracted on a trip which got better in the following weeks). [more inside]
What does Parminster signify?
I am curious about the assumed meanings and implicit cultural coding of the fictional town of Parminster in Dr. Foster. [more inside]
Dropbox image commenting is broken....sometimes? Can we fix it?
I use Dropbox image commenting extensively with my team for one of my jobs, and recently it's become very buggy. But not all of the time, and not for all users. Is this a known bug that I can fix? And if not, are there good alternatives out there? (Specifics of the problems and my team's needs behind the fold.) [more inside]
What's the science behind 'super taster' taste buds?
A friend jokes that I'll eat anything, and I joke that he's way too picky. Last year we did a test for super- / non-taster taste buds, and he hit super taster while I hit non-taster. I'm sort of suspicious of this for the pop-biology sheen, but have recently been wondering if a lot of personal tastes might come down to not being overwhelmed by certain notes in a food (e.g. bitterness in coffee, which I love and he hates) that might come with having more sensitive taste buds. Has this been studied in depth beyond some sort of at-home test they sell on the Internet?
Pin a pin on me
[Manhattan, NY shopping filter] I'm looking to buy an inexpensive [read cheap] red carnation pin in Manhattan this week. Where can I get it? [more inside]
Dropbox device limitations
In March 2019, Dropbox began limiting free-tier accounts to a concurrent total of three devices. Free alternatives? [more inside]
Recommendations for serious non-fiction podcasts (no comedians allowed!)
There are so many non-fiction podcasts for exploring subjects like History, Science etc but almost every one I have found tends to have a "humour" element - ie a comedian trying to make jokes which I find jarring - looking for something without the laugh track [more inside]
Will Rogers quote
Did Will Rogers (or some similarly folksy American dude like Mark Twain) really advise that you should "live your life haphazardly," as my dad used to say? I can't find the quote anywhere. Wondering if Ask Metafilter can help.
Scaling up sourdough bread baking
This week I will be baking a LOT of sourdough bread. Like, 4-6 loaves a day. I have a great starter and I get good results from folding instead of kneading, and a slow cold rise overnight. I've never made more than two loaves at a time though. Can I mix it up as one big batch or is it better to make multiple smaller batches? If the former and I'm quadrupling the flour and water, do I triple the starter too? And would I split it after the autolysing stage before folding, or after folding when forming the loaves? [more inside]
Same email, same attachment, but
I reopened an email sent to me via Craiglist relay (through personals) in 2014. The person in the attached photo is the same as in the one I remember, but everything else is different. It's most likely that I'm misrembering or that I conflated his original photo with a different email, but is there any chance I'm not? [more inside]
April 13
Time blocking scheduling
Is there an app that will help me take some predetermined blocks of time and arrange them on a weekly schedule? [more inside]
Best ride out of LAX?
Next weekend, I need to get from LAX to a private residence in Canoga Park, and later for my return to LAX I'll be coming from a hotel in Thousand Oaks. What's the best ratio of low price + low hassle to do this? Can anyone recommend a particular shuttle? Rideshare? Etc. [more inside]
Care options for elderly parent in New York
My elderly, chronically ill mother is a dual US/Australian citizen living in New York City where she has no family, and due to current health is unable to fly to Australia where she has family. I don't live in the US, nor am I a citizen, so cannot spend an extended period there helping her. What are the options for her in the US (including NY and other states)? [more inside]
Are There Online Fashion Retailers in Canada?
I'm looking for online fashion retailers in Canada similar to Asos and Net-a-Porter in the UK. Is there such a thing in Canada? [more inside]
what is this thing?
What is this weird plastic thing? The red straps (there's one on each end) have elastic rubber rings that you hook into those eyelets. Any clue? [more inside]
Postage Stamp Garden NYC
What should I plant in a tiny NYC garden space? and any other relevant advice for a first-timer. [more inside]
How can I make my pond more shallow and level?
I have a little pond -- around 3 feet in diameter. It's about 24" deep. This is a reasonable depth in theory, but every spring (like now), I have to get out rotten leaves [more inside]
Lives of formerly fat people
I'd like to hear accounts of being overweight, then not [more inside]
I‘m holding out for a hero
I recently reread Tombs of Atuan and I understood why teenage me was so infatuated with the book. Sparrowhawk, as the male lead, is a kind and empathetic as well as intelligent man and these traits and how he uses them are crucial to the day being saved in the end. I would like to find more books with male main characters who are like that and who drive the plot by being this way. [more inside]
A quarter of a bet
I made a bet for a quarter (of a dollar) which I now, for purposes of wit and flirtation, need more options for 1/4 of...something. [more inside]
Who are the people and birds in your neighborhood?
There's a bird or maybe a family of birds or maybe some other kind of creature or maybe an alien(?) that has set up camp in my neighborhood and makes a distinctive cry. It's been here for a couple of weeks (or maybe it's always been here and I just now noticed?) and I was curious about what it was, and then I thought, I wonder if there's a way to find out? It makes a really distinctive yell that's like AH AH AH AH AH AH [more inside]
A stopwatch for space instead of time
Can you recommend an iOS app (10.3.3 max) that allows you to record your location in the most rapid, direct, and idiotproof way possible? Something like a button that takes up most of the screen that you just tap once and done. It needs to save the location as lat/long coordinates. Ideally, it would have an option for displaying the recorded location in degrees and decimal minutes, but any of the degree-based notations would be acceptable.
What made these shapes in the dirt?
I spotted these, 1,2,3, in the field where I walk my dog and I'm curious what may have made them. [more inside]
What did Richard Feynman contribute to physics?
I recently read a collection of Feynman's non-scientific essays. Eager to know more about his scientific work, I went to Wikipedia, did some Google searches etc, but found that even simplified explanations of his work were beyond my knowledge. The path integral formulation of quantum mechanics, the theory of quantum electrodynamics, the physics of the superfluidity of supercooled liquids, the parton model he proposed for particle physics: I'm in dark across the board. Can anyone shed any light? Thanks
What can I do with wheat starch?
I bought a bag of 450 grs of wheat starch, because I was not paying attention and thought it was wheat gluten. How can I put it to use? [more inside]
Any good iOS apps for packing and moving?
Are there any apps that help you organize your stuff when you move? I don't even know what I'm envisioning here, but maybe something that helps you feed a box label number and a photo into a spreadsheet, or something. An app with both iOS and iPad versions that talk to each other would be nice; bonus points if there's also a web interface. (If you have a killer DIY method that a person with ADD and too much stuff could use, I'm open to that, too.)
Can I Wash It: Boat and Tote Edition
I love this bag, but if I can't machine wash it, that's a dealbreaker (eeew). Can waxed canvas and leather be machine washed?
Can you recommend a personal trainer in NYC?
I'm a middle aged woman in Brooklyn looking for a fitness/personal trainer. Details inside. [more inside]
Searching for gardening and florist blogs
I would love links to your favorite gardening and florist blogs. Spring has sprung and I am looking for inspiration! Any focus or genre is welcome.
Quit a job you haven't started?
I recently accepted a job starting in a month. I no longer wish to accept this position as taking it would mean moving to a new city, which I knew when I applied, and I now can not make the move. I need to write an email to quit the position I've accepted. What sort of things should my letter say or even a pointer to a appropriate form letter would be appreciated. [more inside]
"Umberto Eco ain't doin' this."
This is a deep cut, but can you identify a Southern woman writer/storyteller who had a very telling anecdote on Prairie Home Companion years ago? (Yes, I know, but he always had good guests.) [more inside]
Trans Friendly Tailoring / Alterations in Austin
I would like to gift a friend (AMAB) with alterations to some clothes she loves but complains about the fit. My friend is very early in transition, and I think would benefit from an understanding professional. [more inside]
Sending checks to Canadian online pharmacies when buying from US?
Does anyone in the US have recent experience with buying drugs from Canadian online pharmacies?
From what I can tell, they all require payment via check and the idea of sending a check to a business I have no experience with makes me nervous. [more inside]
My muffin recipe is missing the qty of flour. Can you figure it out?
I found my mom's beloved Zucchini Muffin recipe, but it's missing the quantity of flour and has a questionable amount of sugar. Can any bakers reverse-engineer this basic recipe, and check if the amount of sugar sounds correct? [more inside]
Cheap Getaway Within Italy
I found a cheap fare to Rome at Easter and booked an overlong 13 day trip. Even cheap AirBnbs add up (yikes)...and I'm too fussy for bunk beds in youth hostels.
I'll mostly be in Rome/Naples. Where can I go via train for 4 days to save a few bucks where lodgings/eats are less expensive? Just want to chill and blend in (i.e. more digital nomadism than tourism). [more inside]
Young cat suddenly hesitant to jump.
The red herring: a new kitten has arrived. Attention seeking behavior or vet time? [more inside]
Voice Chat Games for practicing mtf voice
I sometimes think about transitioning, mtf. I'd like to dip in slowly and experimentally. There is so much to learn all at once, if I'm going to be able to pass one day! Clothing, mannerisms, makeup, hair!
One of the things that makes me anxious about passing is my voice. But I just had a brainstorm: Some video games have the facility to do live voice chat with strangers. If I got onto one of those, I could sign up with a female-sounding name and see how my voice is perceived, without having to worry about how to dress and visible mannerisms. It seems perfect for experimentation.
Is this a good idea?
If so, what is a good game to do this with? [more inside]
No, but *why* cervical checks before labor?
Medical professionals: What medical reason do doctors have for performing cervical checks in the weeks before labor? Let's say "they just want to know" isn't an acceptable answer unless there is a "because medical benefit X..." after it. This is a general question only- no medical advice wanted or needed. [more inside]
No one wants to cheat. He just needs a way to call after the test.
My kid needs to be able to get in touch after the ACT and needs to have a phone with him in the testing center. [more inside]
April 12
What is this object?
I found a few of these in a local park. Is it a type of bullet? Or a bullet shell that's been repurposed for something else?
https://imgur.com/a/WXP6mPM
Job interview questions- aid industry
I have a last-minute invite to a job interview in the development/aid industry and I’m looking to prepare. If you have been to such an interview before, what questions were you asked?
Weekend trip somewhere warm from NYC
Hope me find a weekend trip somewhere warm from NYC by plane! [more inside]
How to search for URLs ending in .png, .jpg, or.jpeg only
I recently found out about Flippity, which is a neat flashcard tool for teaching, bit I'm getting frustrated with using it. The site allows the use of images on their cards, but they only appear if I paste a URL link that ends in .gif, .png, .jpg, or .jpeg. I've been searching for my vocabulary words in Google Images and clicking on the pics I like, but most of these URLs end in .html or others I can't use. Is there a better way to search for these images? [more inside]
Ambivalent about baby
I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my first. While I wanted this, I haven’t been feeling happy or attached to the baby at any point during the pregnancy. All I feel is apathy and occasional bouts of anxiety at how unprepared we are (we haven’t started buying anything and we don’t know the first thing about newborn care), and how my entire life is going to change forever. I also feel some resentment that my husband is going about his life as usual now, and probably won’t change it much after the baby comes either. My husband and parents don’t get it when I try to bring up my concerns. How should I work through my feelings so I’m more positive by the time the baby is born?
Like restless leg syndrome, but in shoulders. Now what?
Like it says in the title. The symptoms I experience mimic exactly those I have read about RLS, except this isn't in my legs. [more inside]
Piano/Keyboard teacher recommendation for Portland, OR
I'm an adult student looking for recommendations for a piano teacher in Portland. [more inside]
Need a BT audio unit for older car stereo
As the title says but I have specific needs. When I have used BT receivers in the past which input through the "aux in" on my older car stereo, the sound was anemic and weak. I'd like something better. [more inside]
Patio string lights - incandescent or LED
I would like to install some Edison/vintage style patio string lights across my backyard. While I'm inclined to install LED for the energy savings, I've heard that the LED lights are too bright for this purpose as most people prefer a soft/warm glow outdoors. Which is better? [more inside]
College Radio Earworm Help
What song did I hear on the radio? [more inside]
Post-post-collapse fiction?
I've read plenty of speculative fiction taking place in the years/decades following the collapse of society (for various definitions of "the collapse of society"). I'm looking for recommendations for post-post-collapse fiction, taking place after society has begun to rebuild itself. [more inside]
Seeking a recipe for a great chocolate cookie
I'm looking for a recipe for a good chocolate cookie - or maybe more correctly, a biscuit. My platonic ideal is the chocolate biscuit from Fassbender. [more inside]
cinnamon bun recipes!
I just read this delightful FPP. And now that I read the Beard-nominated piece about how shitty Batali's cinnamon roll recipe was, I would like personal recommendations for a good one. :D [more inside]
Anti-Italian propaganda featuring garlic?
I could have sworn that at some point I saw a propaganda image that depicted Italians as smelly because garlic. I think it was a British or American poster from World War II, but it might also have been an anti-immigration political cartoon or something. I can't seem to find anything like this using Google, however. Did I make this up?
Dog CCL surgery
My dog is going for surgery on Wednesday for a CCL surgery- the tibial plateau leveling osteotomy procedure.
I understand he's going to be fairly immobile for about 2 weeks, and then gradually gaining mobility after that. [more inside]
Can we be nosey?
Soon i will have my deviated nasal septum repaired. Any pre or post op experiences I need to be ready for or tips that proved to be good or surprising when you had a similar repair done?
Navigation assistance for the long dark morning routine of the soul
Please recommend recordings (and/or podcasts) of devotions or meditations that would be suitable for a morning routine. [more inside]
Stain then poly, or stain with poly, or something else entirely?
I am about to embark on a large project to restore old trim around windows and doors, while also staining/finishing and installing new baseboard trim. I was hoping to find a stain/finishing product that will work for both applications, however, I now think I need to approach each differently. I need some advice before moving forward. [more inside]
I have money; how do I get the IRS to take it?
2018 was my first year as a consultant with an EIN. I filed an extension on my taxes but need to make a payment by April 15 to avoid penalties. I need to find a way to get the IRS to take my money, and literally every route leads me to a brick wall. Help! More details inside. [more inside]
TV shows that integrate phone content?
Can you recommend some TV shows that do a good job integrating smartphone content with the show as it progresses? [more inside]
Restaurant for large group dinner in NYC
I've been tasked with organising a large group dinner for some overseas visitors in mid-May. Which restaurants would you recommend that would take groups of around 30 in Manhattan? Our budget is as cheap as possible - definitely under $60 per head, around $40 is ideal.
We're trying to avoid booking out the whole place since that's usually very expensive, but if there are economical options please share! I know this is a long shot as all the restaurants I've checked are more like $100 per head for groups of this size... thanks!
Stage fright/performance anxiety in a five year old
Our daughter is a bold and fearless kid, and loves to be the center of attention—unless it’s in the context of an organized activity in which she is the center of attention, in which case she freezes, cries, and steadfastly refuses to participate. We want her to have the toolset to feel comfortable with these scenarios, even if it’s just feeling comfortable sitting on the sidelines. [more inside]
Which AI project should my students attempt?
I'm teaching a summer graduate school class on emerging technologies for education. I'm planning on having students not only use, read about, and discuss each technology, but also try their hands at making with the tech.
Which AI project or package would be best? [more inside]
Good short qualifications for MS SQL Server?
I'm looking for data analysis work. Prospects are good - the couple of interviews I have had didn't get me a position but suggested I was in the top few. However, there's a big gap that keeps coming up - neither my previous work or my academic experience really had any SQL involved, and it seems to be key in many advertised positions. Can you recommend a course in MS SQL Server that would get me a well-recognized/regarded qualification? [more inside]
April 11
Asian protagonists in Mystery/Crime Fiction: Book Recommendations?
[Book Recommendation Filter] Seeking recommendations for mystery and crime fiction that feature an Asian protagonist or a predominantly Asian cast of characters. It's not required that the books be set in Asia, but it's fine if they are. Open to books set in any time period, or written in any time period, or that involve persons from any Asian background (East Asian, South Asian, Southeast Asian, et cetera). A few extra details below the fold. [more inside]
Novice stick shift driver renting a manual transmission car in Norway
I'm an experienced driver learning how to drive stick shift. I'd like to rent a stick shift car when I visit Norway at the end of May for some hiking, although I won't have much opportunity to practice before I go. Is this doable? [more inside]
Talking to young children about a death a long time ago
2.5 year old has started pointing to photographs of deceased family members and asking where they are. Not sure how to answer that at this point. [more inside]
How to get a hotel to reimburse me for lost items?
I stayed at the Wynn Las Vegas for a conference. I brought my own pillow and also an old cell phone that I use as a backup alarm. I realized as I was checking out that they were missing. I'm sure they got swept up in the bedding when housekeeping changed the sheets. Hotel can't find them, it's been 2 weeks so I'm sure they're long gone. They won't reimburse me. Do I have any recourse? [more inside]
How do I tell if this is Kahm yeast or something more sinister?
I've a new fermentation crock that's been going 3 weeks now with beets, radishes, and turnips. I pulled it out to check and there's some growth on top. I've well familiar with Kahm yeast on pickles and other things I've fermented, but the color of the beets has dyed everything so I'm not sure what the growth is on top. [more inside]
Cities created agriculture?
In The Economy of Cities, Jane Jacobs argues that "city economies invent the things that are to become city imports from the rural world, and then they reinvent the rural world so it can supply those imports." She hypothesizes that this applied even to the inventions of agriculture and domestication: Hunter-gatherer-traders created permanent trading settlements, and agriculture and domestication came about as offshoots of other activities that we being done in those settlements. In other words, cities came before agriculture. In the 50 years since she wrote that, has archeology confirmed, denied, or left open her hypothesis? [more inside]
wechat doesn't love me any more (... or at all actually)
I have recently created a WeChat account. It worked for 24 hours and then I received a message saying I had been blocked and needed to verify my identity. I have problems with that and I wondered if anyone had experience ? More inside ... [more inside]
BDSM inspired productivity and self improvement tips, tricks and tools?
What methods do you use for self improvement that have or could have some element of BDSM play? [more inside]
Grow my business or take a job working for someone else. What to do?
I'm a self-employed consultant whose business is doing well. However, I can't sustain my current workload. Should I expand my business or take an in-house job? [more inside]
Will ex have access to my medical records?
I divorced my spouse a few years ago. He was and is a medical professor who sees patients at Regional Medical Center. Unsurprisingly, I was a patient at Regional myself. When I severed ties with Ex, I thought it best to sever ties with Regional, too. So I started seeing a doctor at a primary care clinic affiliated with County Hospital. [more inside]
CPA in Seattle?
I need a CPA. I live near Seattle. Any recommendations? (Yes, I know they're going to be too busy to answer the phone this week.)
Slack Tutorials
I help organize an activist group that uses Slack. Many of our members are not particularly tech proficient and struggle to understand how to use it. I'm looking for basic Slack tutorials that will help people get started and don't assume the user already has a fair amount of knowledge or tech savvy. [more inside]
Looking for Android or other device for copying microsd cards
I would like to be able to copy files (in the size range of 500 mb or less) from one microsd card to another. This needs to be a portable solution, so I was thinking an Android device might work? [more inside]
Teaching advice for low-functioning adult learners
I have started doing some teaching work in my community for an organization that serves low-functioning adults. I'm looking for advice on how to address a specific teaching issue: participants that respond to questions with something related to the topic rather than an answer to the question asked. Details inside. [more inside]
They didn't cover this in D.A.R.E.
Just walked by a couple people in my local park who looked like they were shooting up (bummer). It involved a needle and covering their faces with their respective shirts. I of course minded my own business but I walked away really curious about what exactly they were doing. [more inside]
How can I start a simple non-profit?
Oh- and one that accepts real-estate donations? [more inside]
Cheap Flight Price Tracking and Alerts (2019 edition)
I want ongoing tracking of cheap flights from MSP to Boston, Toronto. Modern approaches to find cheap flights to (wherever is cheap). I am totally flexible on dates, in general, and want to go places whenever flights are cheap!
I tried Skyscanner and Delta's email list, and getting very little that is useful.
To disturb or not to disturb, that is the question
When I stay at a hotel for multiple days, I often leave the "do not disturb" (or "no moleste" for tig fans) card on my door all day. I figure that it gives the cleaning team a break. But do they get paid per room? Would it be better to have them clean my already reasonably clean room so they can get paid for it?
help me find a circa 2010 t-shirt?
Where can I buy a vintage House Industries Alexander Girard t-shirt? [more inside]
Rugs for my aging dog?
I've never liked rugs because I've (almost) always lived in hot places, and didn't need the warming/cozy vibe, and because I'm not good at keeping them clean and they get gross. Yet my sweet girl has failing strength in her back quarters and is not doing well on our slippery (tile / polished wood) floors. Help me figure out some sort of rug solution? I have some wishes... [more inside]
Allergy-safe snacks for kids
I'm looking for ideas for things to bring to school events that don't contain any common allergens (peanuts, tree nuts, lentils, sesame, milk, eggs, fish, wheat, soy). In particular I'm looking for ideas that require very little assembly, because my kitchen is not allergen-free. Reliable/trustworthy web resources or apps also welcome! [more inside]
are there persuasive non-economic arguments for migration?
I am looking for books, articles, argument précis, people to follow on social media, comics -- anything that provides persuasive arguments for migration being a Good Thing (or Bad Thing!) which are not predicated on economic benefit or cost. [more inside]
Best gear for a rainy walking commute
My commute is about to change to involve a 15-20 minute walk twice a day and a couple boat rides. I live in the Puget Sound region so I want to protect my work clothes and laptop from regular light rain, the occasional downpour, and, every once in a while, snow. Looking for specific recommendations for a new umbrella, lightweight rain coat, and a laptop backpack. Emphasis on weather resistance and long term durability. [more inside]
Your Dueling Piano Bar Experiences - players and guests
So...my husband and I attended our first Dueling Piano Bar this past weekend. We think a place like this would THRIVE in our city. Before we start business planning please tell me what your experience has been with a little information.
The city you attended.
The cost to for the ticket - if any.
What was served.
Was there a minimum purchase.
Things that made it unique.
What did you love about the experience.
What would you have changed.
What would you have added to the experience.
Any and all feedback is welcome!
Thanks in advance!
Strategies for staying on track at work through micro-interruptions
I work in digital marketing and unfortunately, my current work computer is just NOT up to the task—it is often laggy and freezes up regularly. When my computer starts acting up, my attention tends to move onto other things and it can take me awhile to get back to the initial (and usually more important) task. Normally I can deal with this, but April is a busy month, and I've got a lot of deadlines looming. Any tips or tricks for ways to keep focused on the big picture when your own computer is working against you? [more inside]
Your tips for managing my finances?
I am 33 years old, I am alone and I need some advice. How to plan for retirement? What are your solutions to save money? Do you have a financial advisor? [more inside]
The exact quote is snot coming to mind
I'm trying to remember a quote about blowing your nose and manners. I want to say it was by Ben Franklin from Poor Richard's Almanack, but I can't remember enough to pull it up. It was something like, "A gentleman does not, upon blowing his nose, open his handkerchief up afterward and inspect the contents as though diamonds and rubies might have spilled from his head." Is that Ben Franklin? If not, where is that from? Ringing any bells?
The most amazing women's white shirt?
After 20 years of being unable to fit my arms into most womens tops that didn't have significant stretch, I am finally getting the excess skin and fat on my upper arms removed. I always said that if this ever happened, the first thing I want to buy is a stunning white shirt. I'm looking for a crisp, long-sleeve button up the front shirt with beautiful cuffs and collar. I want to feel chic. I'm willing to drop some dough on this. $200 and under is fine. I typically wear a 1x. Thank you!
Is there a word for this physical sensation?
In the intro to My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem, he writes "there will be times when your body will experience a sudden shock of recognition or understanding. Things you hadn’t fully grasped before may suddenly become clear. This might be followed by a rush of energy in the form of joy, or anger, or outrage, or a felt sense of clarity and rightness."
Is there a word or phrase that describes that sensation? [more inside]
Looking for lit suggestions for particular freshman college demographic
I want to revamp my syllabus for my community college writing about lit class, because I would like to stop boring my students to tears. My classes will likely consist of 50% immigrants, mostly from West Africa. [more inside]
What is this mystery song residing in my head?
I heard a jazz performer at the mall playing a melody that sounded super familiar, and noticed some other nearby people react positively to it too, so I think it must be something relatively classic and well-known. All I have now is a vague sketch from memory: https://instaud.io/3xpl, 00:10-00:20 is the recognizable part. That melodic phrase is quite tender and poignant. Sorry I don't have much else other than this fragment to go on, but if anyone can ID it that would really help clear things up!
staying sane on the road
What are the small fixes that make it a little more bearable when you're in a new bed every two nights? [more inside]
One bag to rule them all!
I'm looking for a single bag to replace the 3 bags I currently use. [more inside]
April 10
Help me deal with this crush that's eating my concentration
I have developed a crush on a coworker/friend that's become super distracting. It is also inappropriate for various reasons including: I have a partner; it's in the workplace; they're not attracted to my gender. Can you help me get over this? [more inside]
Seeking QGIS course or workshop or usergroup in Melbourne Australia
Asking for a friend - Does anyone know of an introductory-ish QGIS course or workshop or usergroup in Melbourne Australia. User is highly technical, on a mac, but has no prior GIS background.
Detroit-area fibromyalgia doctors or resources?
My wife suffers from fibromyalgia and needs a new doctor. We are moving to Detroit in two weeks, and we'll be staying in Midtown, Rosedale Park, or Bagley. One of the toughest things to leave behind is her care team. We'd like to find the right doctor: one who is engaged, supportive, focused on solutions, and doesn't over-perscribe. One with training in fibro and PTSD is better. One who is all of the above and connected to a research-level institution is the best. Detroiters, who do you or your friends see for primary care or specialty care ? Thanks so much!
How to repair, or at least reuse, a Dyson floor fan that fell in my lap?
What is the best course of action to take with this inoperable, yet very chic, floor fan? Is warranty service/replacement parts an option? Third party repair? Dyson "Digital" motor repair or hacking? Deep modification by replacing internals with another fan like a PC case fan or three? [more inside]
Is it dangerous to knock yourself out before a long plane ride?
I have a couple of plane rides coming up and this is a question I've always wondered about. If you take a sleeping pill to make you sleep, and the plane gets into some trouble, would your adrenaline system wake you up or could you be too impaired from whatever you took to escape? [more inside]
Soylent Pizza
If someone wanted to survive solely on pizza, what would be the most nutritionally complete combination of toppings? (Inspired by this mefi post)
I am the Bitch Eating Crackers, help me not care.
A senior person in my current organisation has strongly taken against me. It isn't rational. It isn't my fault. I have had barely any interaction with him. He has a pattern of this kind of dislike of people. I am not the first and I won't be the last. I don't want help with the work situation-- I know what I need to do. I need help to stop ruminating about this guy and his irrational aversion. [more inside]
How do you get leftist news and culture?
I've reached a crossroads where I'm finished with two media entities that I've relied on heavily in recent years: Twitter and Harper's. Now what? [more inside]
Can I train my blind rescue dog to play?
My best buddy is a 6-ish year old Akita Shepherd (?) mutt whose eyes were removed in a lifesaving operation when he was rescued last year. His background is unknown, but he never learned to play. I would love to get him into playing as a source of entertainment and exercise. Can I? [more inside]
Tell me about the program you followed to reach a goal, that worked.
Please tell me about the program you followed to reach a goal, that actually worked for you. [more inside]
It's all downhill from here - good or bad?
I've always read (and used) the phrase "it's all downhill from here" as a way to say that things are about to get better. But I often see the exact same phrase used as the exact opposite meaning. So what is it for you? [more inside]
Wedding-Industrial-Complex-filter: videographer
Did you skip wedding videography and *not* regret it? [more inside]
Speculative fiction featuring surrogacy?
Can you recommend science fiction works that feature surrogacy? Looking for books, short stories, and movies/tv shows that include surrogacy as at least part of the plot. [more inside]
Once there was a little spider who wanted to reach the moon...
My grandpa told me a story (when I was about 6?) about a spider who wanted to reach the moon, and eventually, after a series of misadventures, managed to spin a web into a ladder(?) allowing him to climb to his destination. I don't think he made it up; it sounded like a folk tale of some sort, but I can't seem to find anything quite like what I remember. And it would have been roughly 1983-1984 when I heard the story, but I am pretty sure it wasn't contemporary. Help? [more inside]
"What issue would you like me to address first?”
Hello, Hivers.
I (45F) could really use your help to organize my thoughts today. I'm the same person who posted this. And since then, things have improved on that front; hubby (47 M) got off of Facebook and hasn't been back since. We've also been through one other major evolution since then, where he read through the entire emotional labor thread that someone was kind enough to PDF, and he's vastly improved with regards to claiming more ownership of general household domesticky things. Long story short, he's willing to put concerted effort into making things better, and things do subtly improve.
However, I’ve still been finding myself really unhappy and sometimes at a loss at how to express myself… [more inside]
What do you call this '80s pop vocal style? Or was it even a thing?
Looking for terms to describe a particular tightening of the throat I hear in so many '80s male pop / new wave vocal performances, which sounds to me effortful and cramped (and great). Examples below. [more inside]
Tiki Party - how does one even?
I have been into Tiki Culture for the past several years, I even have a Tiki Bar in my house! Yet... when trying to create ideas for an annual party (as in 50-100 adults), I'm a little overwhelmed about what to do without it coming out tacky yet... I don't want to spend a fortune. I love coming to Metafilter for ideas, so any tiki-heads or party planners or just general advice is greatly appreciated. [more inside]
Food Poisoning in Europe
I’m in Lisbon with my fiancé and he’s got a pretty bad bout of what appears to be food poisoning. Wondering what we should do, if anything—our flight back to the US is tomorrow morning. [more inside]
Essay or Quote on How Existence Is a Product of Exchange
Please help me recall a quote or essay/article (or Ted talk?) about how the basis of life, growth, and existence of all matter scientifically comes down to how particles must exchange (heat? Electrons?) with one another in order to develop. The implication is that we only grow when we interface. Maybe related to the concept of Complexity.
How to entertain a bored kitty when I'm not around?
How can I keep an elderly cat occupied and engaged after the loss of her feline housemate? [more inside]
NYC solo dining with view of kitchen?
I'll be in NYC for a conference and will be dining alone tonight. I'd like to have dinner in a spot where I can watch the action in the kitchen. What are my best bets for restaurants that have bar/counter seating with kitchen views? [more inside]
Help me understand this Guatemalan funeral invitation
I, a white Angeleno, have been invited to a Guatemalan funeral. Please help me understand the invitation (in Spanish) and the associated customs. [more inside]
Where can I go in Ann Arbor to escape the undergrads?
Coffee shops, bars, restaurants, music venues, river-spots. Where do you go in Ann Arbor that isn't overrun with 19-year-olds? [more inside]
Car decals internationally
I need research help please - how can I figure out what car/scooter/bike decals are popular outside of the West? I'm specifically interested in the Philippines, India and Vietnam. [more inside]
Help with agricultural career ideas
I started listening to the "Farm to Taber" podcast, which is all about food production and systems, and it has me thinking about switching careers. Currently, I'm a K-12 tutor with a Master's Degree in History. I'm quick on the uptake with math, science, literature, systems of rules, etc. but a bit slow on manual tasks--it would be a sharp learning curve for me to fix tractors or similar. Basically, I want a job that helps feed people, whether that's through making sure things are manufactured and distributed correctly, or that farmers have resources to make their crops thrive. I have zero experience working on a farm or in the farming industry, except that I've taken care of horses and dogs most of my life. What are some ways to dip my toe in the agricultural waters? And what are some interesting careers (with educational / experience requirements, please) to pursue?
Is the way my mom touches/tickles our daughter weird?
My mom like to gently rub/caress my daughter's back and torso to help her relax, and my wife feels a bit uncomfortable with it. Help us figure out if there's anything objectively weird here that needs addressing, or if it's no big deal! [more inside]
How does one handle false rumors at work?
At a recent staff social, several were over served and now there are false rumors about what really happened. How do I do damage control? [more inside]
I used flea medication on my tick-ridden cat. Now what?
Late last night on my strictly-indoor cat's face I found a small flat tick, embedded in his skin but not yet engorged with blood. I immediately freaked out and doused him with his monthly topical dose of Cheristin. In the light of morning I've remembered that Cheristin is for killing fleas, not ticks. I don't want to wait until next month to treat potential additional ticks, so are there any cat-safe tick-killing treatments that are safe to use on top of Cheristin (spinetoram)? And what flea/tick preventative(s) should I use on my other mostly-outdoor, indoor-visiting cat, who is likely the source of the tick and who is also due for her monthly Cheristin dose? Apparently the vet-prescribed monthly Cheristin for both cats is not enough. [more inside]
Advice for bidding on a freelance writing job?
I am a freelance writer, but I have little experience submitting bids for work. I have an offer to submit a bid on a massive copy writing job for a large company. I really want at least some of the job, but I don’t want to underbid.
This is anonymous because I don’t want to risk the employer finding it. [more inside]
Resources for Health Crisis in Florida
About a week ago I went to Florida to visit my parents for a few days. The next thing I know, my father went into heart failure and my mom's falling apart. I'm worried about both of them and not sure what I should do or what resources I need. [more inside]
Former manager unfriended me on LinkedIn and removed recommendation
I had a former manager who had nothing but praise for me while I worked for them- and they also only gave glowing reviews of me to their manager. They wrote a wonderful recommendation for me on LinkedIn that was full of compliments. They've since moved on to a different organisation. Today I saw that not only are we no longer connected on LinkedIn, they've removed the recommendation. They're still active on LinkedIn, just not with me. [more inside]
What's a good non-hero graphic novel to teach English?
I remember reading comics as a kid and that helped grow my vocab and skills tremendously. What you don't get from the words you can figure out from the pictures. I was thinking about doing a book club with some new learner ESL adults and I'm trying to think of comic books that might work. Unfortunately, I don't think hero stuff will make sense. So what kind of graphic novels could I try?
April 9
How to restore full computer files & programs to new hard drive?
How do I restore my full computer files and programs from Acronis 2017 to a new hard drive? [more inside]
Growing Pains
A friendship is changing now that I have a better job (and more money) than my friend. Can you offer some perspective? [more inside]
Ideas for a comprehensive bathroom mirror arrangement
I’m laying out a new bathroom but I’ve never seen a mirror arrangement I’ve really liked. I need three things: 1) a way to quickly glance and see how I’m looking in general, 2) A set up for shaving that allows me to easily see every bit of my face, including the bottom of my jaw, and 3) a set up that someone could do their makeup with. I’ve never worn makeup so 3 is particularly difficult for me to cover. [more inside]
Does my soul-backpack exist?
I'm looking for a commuter laptop backpack that MUST have a waistband with pockets. I have looked at so much of the internet (and previous backpack threads), and I am beginning to think that it doesn't exist. Help! [more inside]
Looking for recipes to feed a crowd of 30 on the regular
Every other week, my husband and/or I make a Eucharist dinner for about 30 people at the local church. The point of this dinner is to get parishioners and people in the community who might need dinner together at the same table. I’m kind of burned out on recipes and am looking for new ideas. Specifics below the fold. [more inside]
Can You Help Me Fix a Habit
So, this time last year, I was embarking on what would become a 9-month streak of practicing piano really consistently 6 days a week at a very low intensity of practice session length (~15 minutes). I was doing well at being consistent and sort of letting that be its own reward, but not making a lot of progress.
There were some life changes, my income went up, I moved, and I got a teacher! And now that I have an external force of motivation, I... somehow cannot practice to save my life? [more inside]
Recommendation for reliable florist in Buderim, QLD, Oz?
I (in Massachusetts, USA) am looking for a reliable florist to deliver a bouquet in Buderim, on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. A good friend of mine learned on Sunday that her father was probably dying; as she was en route today, she found out that he had died. I'd like to send her and her mother a bouquet, but I haven't the faintest idea how to find a florist in that part of the world. Grateful for any suggestions, especially florists you have used yourself.
The old college try?
How long did you a try a new social hobby or sport before you decided to stick with it? Is there a time where you just decide it’s not a good fit? [more inside]
California COBRA versus ACA health plan quality of service
I recently left my job and am eligible to continue my health insurance through COBRA, or join the ACA individual insurance market. I wonder if there are issues with quality of service, exposure to year-over-year cost increases, or other considerations that might not be obvious to me now but would affect my decision about which coverage to pursue. Some details about my situation follow. [more inside]
Why is he getting fat?
My husband has developed a belly. Despite a lifetime of being lean, a light eater, no lifestyle change, and only healthy foods, he has a significant paunch. Starting maybe a year ago, he had a lot of trouble getting in his pants. He is in his late 50s. We have heard of older people and a "shifting" stomach? He has begun exercises to strengthen his abdomen, but we remain bewildered at this new condition.
Looking for someone to read a bit of Chinese for me
Looking for info about this world war two photo
How to be sensitive about medical issues, while keeping my own sanity?
I have a family member who is often sick or injured. While the illnesses and injuries are nothing gravely serious, bad luck seems to befall them more often than most. They are also very dramatic about their pain and prognosis. I don't want to be insensitive or unsympathetic. But I am about to lose it. I need help figuring out how to manage my own frustration if there is no way to gently let this person know that they are being a diva. [more inside]
Take me back to 2011
I am finally watching Game of Thrones, mostly for the first time, although I've read most of the books (not my cup of tea) and have not hid from spoilers whatsoever. I am looking for good supplementary podcasts from non book readers, so I can live vicariously through their surprise/shock/confusion. I am pretty much done with season 1, so it's fine if it doesn't start right at the beginning. [more inside]
We're going to Barbados—give us all your tips!
We're super-excited about a trip we'll be taking to Barbados this summer and are looking for any and all of your favorite tips and suggestions. A few details inside. [more inside]
Chef's Arm and how to deal with it
My daughter has just started chefing in a commercial kitchen and is steadily accumulating her badges of honour: a bunch of thin parallel oven burns across her forearms, wrist to elbow. Three questions: 1. What do chefs put on these burns to soothe and heal them? 2. What's the best healing product professional kitchen people swear by, something that works well to prevent infection? And 3. Is there any protective safety equipment for this like, I dunno, silicon arm guards or something?
Neighbourhood suggestions for a week plus in Paris
Paris is such a big city that I'm at a loss for picking a neighbourhood to stay in next month. Neighborhood descriptions tend to be things like "this place is full of tourists" or "this is where the 20 years olds go drinking" but not "hey 39 year old who's into craft beer and vintage video games, you should stay here." So where should we stay? [more inside]
Help me tawk like a New Yawkah
I need to figure out how to speak with a New York accent. I'm a hippie Californian. I stink at this. [more inside]
How much do ACA premiums cost in Texas?
Someone we are close to will lose their COBRA health coverage as of the end of July. They can't find out how much an ACA insurance plan will cost without applying, but they can't apply until they are within 60 days of losing their coverage. [more inside]
What is the law in NY about kicking people out of their home?
We're trying to save a friend from a bad situation and a bad guy, but not sure how to handle it or if it can be handled cheaply. [more inside]
What are potential legal issues w/living in a commercial space? (Oregon)
I live in Springfield, Oregon and I've been looking for a living space for some time now. I found someone offering a workshop space for rent that would be absolutely perfect for a live/work situation but I want to know what the potential legal complications could be if I go ahead with this and someone finds out.
Are my water bottle and thermos a lost cause?
I used dish soap to clean out a plastic water bottle and metal thermos that had gotten a bit gross. It turns out - the left a taste of dish soap in both of them. So I looked online for advice, and found that vinegar can clean that out. Now, uh, they taste like vinegar. Is there a proper way to clean these vessels, or should I just give up and buy new ones and take better care of them?
Altitude and (water) weight loss - is it a thing?
Does traveling to higher elevation cause super-quick (water) weight loss? Or, wtf happened to me and how can I make it happen again? [more inside]
What to read after The Goblin Emperor?
I just finished The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. I found it scratched a similar itch to Becky Chambers’ books, which I loved. What should I read next? I’m home with a bad cold today, so it’s a perfect time to curl up and read. [more inside]
OKTA Verify and no cell phone
My company has rolled out mandatory use of OKTA Verify. I don't have a company cell phone, and my personal cell phone is too old to download the OKTA Verify app. [more inside]
Help me experience European football
I have a trip to the Netherlands and Belgium coming up in September, and I just discovered that both countries have European qualifier matches while I’m there. I haven’t been able to find out where the games are going to be played, but I’m hoping to find a fun way to watch them with some natives while I’m there — or, even better, attend a game. [more inside]
In WV Does a Multi-Member LLC Have To File A State Return
Do multi member West Virginia LLCs have to file form SPF-100? Under the "who must file" section of the form below. It is not clear whether a multi-member LLC that is treated as a partnership/pass through entity is required to file a Form SPF-100.
Understood that yanmtp however any insight would be appreciated.
My Arm Hurts. Doctor Is No Help
My arm has been hurting me for a while. I visited the orthopedist and he basically said that I'm old (early 40s) and that is it. I don't have the money to visit another one. Details inside [more inside]
Brainstorming a long weekend in Spain
I live in Barcelona, and I'd like to travel for around 5 days over the Easter weekend, so I'm looking for ideas/tips. I'm considering going to Ronda, and would like input on different possibilities for how to spend my time around there; I'm also very open to alternative suggestions. [more inside]
Pdf to word and back again (w/o losing formatting)
I have a big document that needs a bunch of small changes. Right now, it's a pdf that was created from an InDesign document. Instead of sitting down with a typesetter and paying for hours of tiny corrections, can I convert it to a word document, make the changes myself, and reconvert it back to a pdf w/o losing all of the very specific formatting? Is there any way that can happen? If it can happen, is it only possible with the original InDesign document?
Help me name my spite ukelele
Looking for epic examples of revenge/spite/pettiness from which I can pull the name for my ukelele. [more inside]
How do you respond to "Where do you want to go?"
I tend to freeze, delay, and deflect when people I want to spend time with ask me things like "Where should we meet?" or "What do you want to do when we meet?" I need ways to either interrupt my rumination and anxiety over responding, easy responses that work for you, or some combination of the two. [more inside]
Small lifelogging camera with good battery life.
I'm going to be getting one of those tiny cameras - the textbook example would be a go pro hero session - the use case is to hang around my neck on a lanyard and film continuously while I'm in public. (I have to, I'm being targeted by stalkers.) I want reliable and long batt life. Local storage fine. What make and model should I buy?
We've averted a relationship crisis. How to keep it that way?
My wife and I recently had a crucial conversation where we aired a lot of things out and have started trying to improve our relationship. Things are better now, but how do I/we keep from falling back into the habits that led us to that point in the first place? More specific (and NSFW-y) details inside. [more inside]
April 8
Life after 2 decades on birth control pills
I decided last month to stop taking my birth control pill for various health reasons (ie not trying to get pregnant). I had been on it pretty much nonstop for 20 years - started at 18 and now off it at 38. Has anyone else gone off the pill after a decade or more of use? What was your experience like? What kind of rollercoaster I am in for? [more inside]
International bad debt, non-business
I pre-ordered something from a manufacturer in Germany last year who subsequently went bankrupt. Can I safely write this off as bad debt, non-business? [more inside]
I want to play Piano Blues like this! what is this??
From Deutschland 86 Episode 10, piano playing in a bar:
This piece.
I love this type of music so much and would like to find either this music or something similar, in transcription ("sheet music"). I can't find what the piece is by doing searches for the music in the episode. Any help in finding it, or anything like it, much appreciated!
Forcing a shared Outlook calendar to send an email when altered?
How do I force a shared calendar in Outlook 2016 Professional to email me with a notification when other users add or change a meeting or other calendar item? [more inside]
What does "residential-light commercial" zoning allow?
I've googled the category, and learned only that it seems to be unique, or at least particular, to the state of Georgia. Apparently it is designed to allow short-term rentals, but what else could it include? What am I missing?
It’s 2019 - do you still like your non-wood deck?
We’re replacing a poorly-constructed floating wood deck with a paver patio, but we need to build a set of steps from the door to the patio. Having fought with our painted wood deck over the years, we’re leaning toward steps made of wood alternatives. There are a couple composite/PVC decking posts from 2007 and 2012, but I’d love to hear what people think of their Trex/Azek/other decking nowadays. [more inside]
Making an app based on someone else's research...is there a legal issue?
A time tracking app called Desktime apparently did some research that showed 52 minutes of work followed by 17 minutes of rest was optimally productive for the people they studied.
Would it possible to make an app/software that incorporates a timer based on this research or would I run into legal issues? [more inside]
One way flight, Edinburgh > Dublin, walk-up or buy in advance?
Middle of May, we fly from USA to Edinburgh for a few days. Then to Dublin for a week, then home. We have booked all the flights except for the one-way from Edinburgh to Dublin. Is it a must to book ahead, or can we leave our selves some flexibility in scheduling without paying a lot more?
Are online Scrum certifications at all worth their salt?
I've been using Agile development practices as a developer- and now as a Producer- for 5+ years. But it's felt a little piecemeal. I'd like to up my game and get a resume gold star by doing an actual Scrum certification. However, life with a 6 month old is hectic, so I've been looking into doing the cert online. Are any online Scrum certs worth a dang? [more inside]
What is a gate?
It’s a home improvement question, but really a physics question. [more inside]
How can I find out about street surveillance?
I've been told it's different depending on the street. [more inside]
Can this medicine cabinet door be fixed or replaced?
The 19.5x27 inch mirrored door to my medicine cabinet fell off, due to a small piece of metal breaking. I'm trying to figure out if this is something that can be fixed or replaced. [more inside]
What to grow in a window with no direct sun?
At work I have a window by my desk with a really big ledge. I'd like to grow some plants there. It's an unobstructed north-facing window (in Canada) so there isn't any direct sun but it is fairly bright. My preference is for things I can eat or that are colourful
If I want to publish a book, should I NOT publish in a magazine?
I've written a book and would like to find a publisher. It seems like publishing a compelling excerpt in a magazine or journal would be a great way to get fans and provide credibility to a publishing house. Would publishing an excerpt actually make it harder to publish the larger work as a book? [more inside]
Fix my gross cuticles please
I know, I know, I shouldn't pick at my cuticles. But now that I have . . . what do I do? [more inside]
I'd like to complain to Target about something they don't sell
Target sells rash guards for men and children but not for women and I'd like to complain to someone at Target that could maybe do something about it. I've used the chat function on their website but that went nowhere. So do I email someone or tweet at someone, and who would that person be? [more inside]
What kind of car is this?
What kind of car is this?
Can I turn this timely skill into a project or even a job?
This post has inspired some personal curiosity. I've been running a little personal project on counter-radicalizing older adults of privilege. I didn't think many other people cared, but it looks like this problem is having a moment in the spotlight. Those of you who have been involved in causes and advocacy: how do I make something bigger out of this? [more inside]
Please help me keep my shiny new stove nice and shiny
We're getting a new electric range next week(!) and I want to make sure it stays looking its best. We cook a lot with cast iron and I notice the bottoms of our well-loved pans are covered in carbonaceous gunk. I am worried that this is going to immediately cover the new range in black residue and possibly scratch the glass. What's the best way to clean the bottoms of cast iron pans? Ideally without removing the seasoning on the top of the pans. [more inside]
Termite swarms
We have termites in our rental. They swarm. It is not harmful, but annoying and increasingly distressing for my preschooler. Need advice for the swarming. [more inside]
Recommended resource for work is a Fail.
I provided a contact for a training based on the person's reputation in the field for where I used to live. The training is not going well. How do I do damage control with my manager? [more inside]
Psychiatrist in the East Bay
I'm looking for recommendations for a psychiatrist in Berkeley or Oakland. Any suggestions? [more inside]
Seeking "advanced basic" clock radio
I need a new bedside clock radio, but I'm not sure that what I want in a clock radio exists, so I may also need options. [more inside]
Must-have camping supplies
I have not been camping in 25 years and we're maybe going to start easing into it again, what's up in camping gear these days? [more inside]
Super suburban lawn
I’ve been in my house for five years now, and would like to get into a good routine with my lawn to make it lush, green, flat, and weed free. I’ll be upfront: chemicals are fine, and I’m not looking to learn to love clover or ground violets. [more inside]
Where I can I find sharp clothes for a quasi-mod butch?
Here is another question about finding clothes. Since I had a kid, my style has slacked off because of the extra weight I gained. I bought a couple suits from Wild Fang a year ago, but I need more pants, shirts, blazers, and my old standby of Wild Fang is going... decidedly more bright, colorful, and kinda femme - which is great for people who like that sort of thing, but my style is more classic mod. [more inside]
The piano music of my dreams
I am seeking beautiful piano music within the avant garde / contemporary classical / etc realm. Specifically, I'm looking for two genres: very long solo piano songs, and interesting combos of piano with yelping/wailing etc. Examples within. [more inside]
Take/Pass the Ball, then "???"...subtitles and EU video format issues
I purchased this video as a gift for my dad who's a big Barca fan. Since it was from a UK vendor and it said the narration was in English (it is), I figured there'd be a robust and easy to find subtitle function for any of the Spanish, et al that was featured. Maybe not. [more inside]
How am I being scammed?
On LinkedIn, I’m getting crazy high offers that never follow through and have the same pattern. What’s the scam? [more inside]
Agent [], here is your first mission
I've been watching El Ministerio del Tiempo (the Ministry of Time) on Netflix and have been reminded that I really enjoy the loose genre of "average person is recruited into"/"the reader/watcher discovers top-secret government agency/top secret team" where the story is lighthearted or a comedic/alternative take on this story, the agency/team is responsible for something non-standard like stealing art, or there is time travel or magical/supernatural forces involved. [more inside]
Why do people buy fitness items only to see them gather dust?
I'm specifically focusing on treadmills, though I think the question likely applies to other devices. I'm wondering why people buy them, and why so many of them seem to end up gathering dust in garages or basements (though I don't have numbers on this.) Bonus points if you've got one gathering dust and can explain why...
Fake College, Real Mug
Please help me find coffee mugs for fake colleges and universities. I'm looking for otherwise normal looking mugs, ideally highlighting a place from media or popular culture, like this one from Hogwarts. I'm not looking for parodies of real institutions, like this one for Harvard Law. Subtler is better, as this is for a long-term practical joke. What do you recommend?
Quality discussions of the Ethics of Rewards?
Asking for my husband: Seeking high-quality media discussions on the topic "The Ethics of Rewards." TED talks, short documentaries, lectures? This would be for a university Philosophy of Ethics course. More salient details inside. [more inside]
Night terrors
I've been waking up in the middle of the night for years feeling abject terror, with or without a side of paralysis. How do I stop these episodes? Is this something that improves when my overall mental health improves? [more inside]
Sabbath in pop culture?
I’m prepping to do a one-off class on The Sabbath in popular culture. Besides the Big Lebowski, what other movies, tv shows, songs or popular fiction have references to The Sabbath/Shabbat/Shabbos etc. whether in a Jewish, Christian, Muslim or secular context? It could be a scene set during a sabbath meal, a casual reference, anything at all. Thanks for your help!!
Dupes for Shu Uemura Glow On Blush?
Shu Uemura make-up is no longer available in the UK. Any hot tips for dupes of their "Glow On" blush in shades P Amber 83 and P Light Pink 315? [more inside]
April 7
i want to stop feeling defined by a number on a scale.
You're a fat person, but this doesn't interfere with your sense of self-worth, it's not constantly on your mind, it doesn't hold you back from putting yourself out there socially and romantically, and it isn't like, number one on the list of things that defines you to yourself. How did you get there? [more inside]
"Never...until now!"
I was rewatching Bob le Flambeur (1956) this weekend (thanks, Kanopy!) and noticed an exchange early on, re the prestigious casino Bob is planning to rob, to the effect of: "But no one has ever even thought about [hitting this particular target]!" "Well, now someone has thought about it." [more inside]
Help me stream music legally
So I have an itch I'm trying to scratch. Seeing that there are DJs on Twitch I got to thinking, I'd love to do essentially a radio show on Twitch. Basically it'd be an excuse for me to play my records and talk about them, especially late at night when my insomnia is acting up. Twitch's interactive elements are really nice here, in that the chat would allow for more of a "just hanging out and listening to music with a friend" vibe. [more inside]
Cleg handed?
Reading Henry Green’s novel Living I came across an unfamiliar term I’ve had no luck finding a definition for. About a character Green writes that “it had always gladdened him she was not cleg handed like her mother had been.” What does “cleg handed” mean? From the context I’m guessing it means clumsy or something like that but was hoping for something more specific. The novel is set in Birmingham and features some local dialect.
advice on iPad for digital art?
I'm contemplating an iPad for digital art and wondering what would be best for my use case? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
Dealing with work-induced stress disorder and a loved one's crisis
Need coping strategies to not be effected by my partner's psychological issue [more inside]
Parenting a Teenage Niece
Our niece is coming to live with us for four years of high school starting in August. She is a strong student and believes she can get a much better education where we live than where she lives. She currently lives with her mom in her country of origin. [more inside]
Shikibuton + mattress topper -- one cover, or two?
I recently got a 3" shikibuton mattress and a 3" wool mattress topper for a sleeping setup in my small camper trailer. This will be my sleeping quarters for an extended sabbatical / camping trip. My question: Should I get one zippered cotton cover and put both the shikibuton and the wool topper inside of it? Or should I put each item in its own separate zippered cover? [more inside]
Advice/resources for a rushed exit from Maine dorm room to NYC?
A friend of mine (and their hamster) with few resources (financial, family, otherwise) is taking leave from school, and needs to 1) empty their room, and 2) travel to NYC post-haste. I'm willing to help with money to cover mini-storage or travel costs, but I know nothing about the area, and posting to craigslist is about all I can think of. Location: Near Bangor. [more inside]
Interesting musicals in Chicago right now?
I know about Hamilton and Cruel Intentions, and also The Bridges of Madison County in Evanston. What other musicals are currently playing in Chicago? [more inside]
Can I Drink This, Or Does Someone Else Want It More Than I Do?
So, my mother buys things at estate sales. Sometimes, these things include unopened bottles. (I will always remember the time she cracked a bottle and poured me a shot of something saying, “Try this.” I said “Sure, what is it?” but had already started drinking before she answered “probably rum.” It was not rum.)
In any case, I unguardedly mentioned that I was out of bourbon, and she produced this box. [more inside]
Is this a scam or was someone a victim of identity theft?
I just received a strange text and wanted to know if this is a known scam or was someone's identity stolen? [more inside]
Where to get a tattoo in Los Angeles?
I want to get another tattoo when I visit LA in a few weeks. I know what I want, it's a line drawing. What artists in LA are good at line work? Or, what are some good tattoo shops to research?
How should I approach buying small kitchen appliances?
Where's the sweet spot of feature-light and longevity when it comes to stuff like coffee makers? [more inside]
Next-level sympathy scripts
A recent AskMe highlighted the inappropriateness of meeting someone's bad news/ bid for sympathy with a "look-on-the-bright-side" response. Beyond the classic "That sounds terrible/ I'm so sorry", what else is there that's safe to say in these situations? [more inside]
How does your garden grow?
I want to start an edible garden in my backyard. In a fit of excitement yesterday, I went to Home Depot's garden center and bought a bunch of stuff (details inside) and after bringing it home, realized I'm a bit overwhelmed. How do I start? [more inside]
Looking for painless wedding dress shopping in Boston, NJ, or NYC
Can you recommend nonjudgmental places where I could try on wedding dresses in the Boston metro area, NJ, or NYC? [more inside]
Why Are Cravings?
Why do pregnancy cravings exist, especially the ones that are weird (like one I saw about dish soap on a cheeseburger)? Are they the body's way of signalling some nutrient deficiency or other? There's this question about cravings but it specifically excludes pregnancy.
Geely wha?
I‘m trying to stay informed about the gilets jaunes protests in France, but coverage in English and German language newspapers is not very extensive or deep. I would like to read reliable French sources. Can you recommend some? [more inside]
Legal Deposit Controversies (But Especially The One About Holograms)
*picks up conch shell that finally came through via ILL, blows piercing yet mournful note that rings out through every reference section across time and space* Librarians of Metafilter! Can you tell me about controversies involving legal deposit (in any country), and help me find one in particular that involves Canada and holograms? [more inside]
YANML. TINLA.
I slipped on an icy sidewalk at a private park after being warned by park personnel about ice on the property at the gatehouse before entering, breaking my leg and requiring surgery. Three months later my health insurance company is asking for details of the injury and whether it happened on someone else's property. [more inside]
Applied for a new job, but I like my old job too.
I am interviewing for a new job. I like my old job and do not want to burn bridges. When should I tell my manager? [more inside]
April 6
Please talk me out of puppy fever
I have wanted a chihuahua since I was little, and the fever is back bad. I have always had rescue mutts, have a wonderful sweetheart now (she needs a best friend!) and three rescue cats who rule the house and the dog. Where I live, there are no shelter chihuahuas, only possibly local breeders or re-sales. Rationally I know I do not need another pet and yet. Talk me out of puppy fever please!
Sewing Machine Upgrade
I have a fairly old basic machine and it lacks what I think are some basic features and making my already rusty skills even worse. What’s a good upgrade without going overboard?
[more inside]
Strange 1-second jolts of pain on top of head when coughing or jumping
YANAD, etc. I'm seeking ideas about what may be going on while waiting on a neuro appointment. I've already seen my GP and been to the ER. For 3 months I've experienced strange jolts on top of my head (always exact same spot) on impact (running down stairs, jumping) or coughing. Past month has blossomed into tinnitus, facial numbness (which prompted ER visit, CT came back clear), and now constant pins & needles all over body, which makes it hard to focus on much else. Any ideas I can read more about while I anxiously wait another week+? [more inside]
How to stop worrying about work?
Work has been difficult for me lately. I had a big talk with my supervisor about what I needed from her and from my role and she took it better than expected. The two main things were more autonomy and fewer rewrites of my work. Since then she has heaped up the responsibility on to me so that I have several big projects to deliver before the end of financial year in June. But I keep worrying about it. [more inside]
Transporting a cat during a move
My 14-year-old male cat is moving with me to a new apartment. What's the best way for him to get through the actual moving day? [more inside]
Jumping back into The Walking Dead
Noped out of the Walking Dead a few eps after we met Lucille and haven't watched since. Have been hearing goodish mumblings about it recently again though and fancy some zombie action. Is there a good post-Negan point in the timeline to jump back in? [more inside]
Help me outfit my internet-free home with music!
What kind of stereo system and speakers should I buy? A simplistic but quality set up. [more inside]
Is this a sexual side effect of Lexapro or just my body being weird?
Hi Metafilter, please help me with a question about sex and antidepressants! I’m a cisgender woman having what might be a very strange sexual side effect from Lexapro. I’ll put the details (which are pretty detailed) below the cut. [more inside]
How to deal when people reflexively "Well, On The Bright Side…" me?
This has probably been happening my whole life, but recently it’s really gotten under my skin. I’ve noticed that some people in my life, upon hearing any kind of negative statement from me, or about any negative thing that has happened in my life, immediately respond with, "At least…" or "On the bright side.." in a way that makes me feel angry, diminished and as if I’m being implicitly told, "Shut up and stop complaining." I’m looking for good strategies to deal with this both internally and externally. [more inside]
Enamel pins are great when you want to mail 2,000 of something
So I got my enamel pins made. Now I have them and I need to mail them to their recipients, about 230 people all around the world. I am having a hard time from my googling figuring out like literally how do I do this. [more inside]
The Beach Slang song title "Bad Art & Weirdo Ideas" keeps coming to mind
Should I try to call and ask out the guy who I went on one date with before he ghosted me 3 weeks ago? Of course, there's... [more inside]
Songs like “sugar magnolia” or “cripple creek” but gender swapped?
Just trying to clear a random thought. Popular songs by women artists about why their guy was fun and awesome? Not pining or bittersweet. Other gender combinations also welcome.
Should I get the 7 or 14 day Japan Rail Pass?
I'm running into a headache trying to figure out if we need the 14 day JR Pass. Halp. [more inside]
Advice for painting a concrete floor in a movie theater
I'm looking for a cost-effective way to paint a concrete floor in a movie theater. The current paint job is in bad condition. [more inside]
What is this short threaded tube I found in my garage?
While cleaning up my garage today, I found a short white plastic threaded tube hiding in a pile of leaves. Here's a photo. It's about 2 inches long and has a slot at the top that looks like it's intended to receive a rod that could be used to adjust the screw. It has a little bit of white grease on it and a few black smudges. Any idea what it is?
Tell me about MSM for pain
I have pretty chronic pain from inflammatory arthritis and it is affecting my life a lot these days. I've heard about MSM, Methylsulfonylmethane, and would like to hear more. Would like to hear your experience or verified information from fact-based sites. Also, where do I buy good quality MSM? [more inside]
What are the key differences of opinions between the Stoics?
I'm trying to improve my understanding of stoic philosophy and one way I've found to increase the resolution of my understanding is to try to identify the key differences between different proponents of a view. So what are the key differences and disagreements we can identify between them?
Cloven hoof prints turn up in the garden.
When "The driver drops his cargo at the curb" in the Mountain Goats' song First Few Desperate Hours what the heck is it?
The song is from the album Tallahassee, which is the story of a marriage that was a bad idea.
Lyrics inside. [more inside]
Twitter thread on harsh truths about publishing?
At some point in the past year or two, I read a long series of funny tweets structured as a numerical list (50? 100?) of expose-style facts about creative writing and the publishing industry. The posting account was a male author who just had a book out (sci-fi or fantasy, I think). Can anyone help me find this thing again? [more inside]
Looking for good videos of dancing
I'm looking for short videos of impressive dance routines, for people who don't know much about dancing [more inside]
April 5
Quick and cheap Game of Thrones costume
We have an invite to a GoT party next weekend and need costume ideas. Other than a blank "Hello my name is" name tag (which may be one costume), does anyone have any thoughts on anything that can put together quickly and cheaply? [more inside]
Would an AKG Perception 200 be better than a Bluebird mic in my studio?
I have a small home studio with a lot of noise issues in my apartment. I use a Blubird mic for everything currently — would something flatter like an AKG Perception be 1) less sensitive and 2) a decent choice to record both vocals, acoustic guitar, and percussion? [more inside]
Am I going to run out of commas before I finish this proofread?
EditorFilter: I'm hip-deep in dissertation proofreading for a very interesting academic paper. However, the author (non-native English speaker, although fluent) frequently uses the construct "...investigate the significance of X, and the associations between,...". What is the name of this construct, and how can I reconstruct the intention of the phrase with fewer words? The authors are submitting to a major journal with an absolute word count.
Avianca on Cheapoair = upgrades??
I booked an Avianca flight on Cheapoair. Weirdness ensued. And I ended up in business class? [more inside]
YAMMT (you are my music teacher)!
A good friend's teenage son has taken an interest in learning to play the guitar. Since I play, he has asked me to teach him the basics. I'm looking for suggestions from other players on what to cover. [more inside]
Why do I sometimes feel deeply depressed after going on a jog?
Sometimes, after a jog, I fall into potent, crushing sadness for about 30 minutes to an hour. It feels chemical, as I've burned through all my serotonin, but my brain can get mighty creative about finding a life situation to latch onto to "explain" it.
Added layer: I recently started taking a small (prescribed) dose of Adderall, and I think it's making this thing—whatever it is—worse. More details inside. [more inside]
Tokyo plans needed for visit during nation-wide abdication holiday.
My pre-booked vacation to Tokyo ended up falling in the middle of the upcoming abdication/coronation holiday at the end of April / beginning of May. So now I'm looking for tips on what this means for a novice visitor. [more inside]
Brain injury, mental health, and divorce. Your experiences, please?
My husband had a bad bike wreck last year. He shattered his shoulder, and that (understandably) got the most medical attention. But he also hit his head hard enough to split his helmet. Within two months, his personality shifted suddenly and completely. He's moved out, started a new life, and is racing us toward divorce as quickly as possible. If you've gone through something like this, do you have insights you can share? [more inside]
Posting link to my podcast on social media`
Should I post links to my podcast on social media? [more inside]
People making stuff at home.
Looking for theory, background, trends, and personal stories about home production of what are normally consumer/industrial goods. Things like furniture, clothes, accessories, appliances, bags, utensils, tools, pretty much anything you'd buy in a department store. [more inside]
Where should I go camping outside of LA?
I live in Los Angeles and my birthday is next weekend and I just want to go be alone in the wilderness for a night and two days, with minimal interaction and noise from other people. Where should I go? [more inside]
Photographing kids' artwork
My kids bring home a ton of art, some of which I'd like to keep memories of, but our house is overrun with paper. What's a good setup to get good quality digital images of it that I can look back on and enjoy? I don't want to spend a fortune, but would consider buying a few select items if they'll make a big difference. [more inside]
What was this billboard advertising?
In 2008, I came across a bizarre billboard whilst walking on the Cornish coast. I've always wondered what it was advertising. [more inside]
What's next after Middlemarch?
I just finished reading Middlemarch, and it was like the love of reading was reborn for me. The prose, the observations about humanity, the naturalistic evolution of an interlocking set of characters ... So what the heck to I read next that is similarly ambitious and wonderful? Do I just go through her entire catalog, or are there more classics I should discover? I've read a lot of the biggies (War & Peace, Anna Karenina, Moby Dick) but maybe rereading is in order? I doubt I paid that much attention when I first read them.
How can I make online dating suck less?
I’m probably going to try dating again soonish, but I’m dreading the app process. I don’t mind the actual going on dates part (even when they’re not great dates). The things I hate most: the deluge of people who are unsuitable (zero commonalities) and the huge amount of time it seems to take to convert prospects into actual dates. What can I do to reduce those things? My details inside. [more inside]
trouble eating in the morning
Hey, I'm having trouble eating in the morning, like my stomach just doesn't want to get with it and it's taking a long time. I'm looking for any suggestions on how to deal with this or something else I could eat. Details and allergy issues inside. [more inside]
What opportunities have age limits?
What are some experiences or opportunities that have an age limit cutoff? [more inside]
I keep saying things are going to change but now they have to
How do I stop my overachieving, perfectionist self from destroying my own life? [more inside]
Effective Treatments for Somatic Symptom Disorder
Have you or a loved one had effective treatment for Somatic Symptom Disorder? If so, what worked? [more inside]
Can I get what I need from a mentor I don't trust?
I recently spoke with someone in the c-suite about my growth and potential and asked them for a recommendation for a mentor to give me a different perspective on some things. The person they recommended is theoretically great for what I'd like to learn. However...he really rubs me the wrong way, and a few years back, I heard him making jokes about my weight to several people. (He has a passing knowledge of who I am but we've never worked together, so I don't think it was personal but rather just a general, 'hey it's fun to make fun of fat people' situation, which is *so* not the culture of my workplace and *SO* not okay with me.) How can I get what I need out of this relationship when it can't be one based on mutual trust and respect? [more inside]
Should I update MacOS on a 2009 MacBook Pro?
I have a mid-2009 15" MacBook Pro Intel Core 2 Duo 2.8 GHz with 8 GB RAM, currently running MacOS 10.9 Mavericks. My question is, will I notice a slowdown if I update to the latest MacOS? (10.14 Mojave) [more inside]
"Red hair? That's not red, it's orange."
How do people in different languages and cultures refer to red hair? Or related shades like auburn and strawberry blonde? [more inside]
April 4
How did you know your parents loved each other?
If you, as a kid (or even now as an adult), felt that your parents loved each other, were happy to be married, etc: what behaviors, rituals, ways of speaking etc that you observed between them made you feel that way? [more inside]
Is internet use universal among teens who can afford it?
Has a teenage/young adult subculture emerged of kids who opt out of the internet totally? I'm sure there are teens who don't use Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or other "mainstream" social media, but is there any kind of "IRL or die" subculture that's developed and caught on in any significant way? [more inside]
Help me summon unicorn and dragon magic!
My kiddo will be turning 3 soon. We're planning on a laid-back party: grilling out at a city park and inviting other kiddos and parents. The kiddo is really into both unicorns and dragons right now. Help me brainstorm several inexpensive ideas for incorporating dragons & unicorns into the celebration.
What is this thing (furniture?) seen at a thrift store?
What is this wooden object? It appears to have some sort of seat, and a drawer for storage, but I'm clueless (and curious) as to its purpose. It wasn't very tall, seemed very solidly built. (And no, the tag didn't say what it was, I looked.)
How To Ask My Friend To Come Get His Dog
Help me firmly, but nicely, tell my friend his dog can't stay with us any longer. Details below. [more inside]
recommendations for vacation in Colorado in August
I’m looking for recommendations as to where to spend time in Colorado in August. Specifically: things to do in/around Denver (including day trips) and a separate place to make a base camp for about a week (though not a literal camping site). [more inside]
Help with mac mail?
My MacBook air is driving me insane. I keep getting a message saying my disk is nearly full. It appears that mail is the culprit, using up lots of storage space. I keep deleting mail, but nothing changes. [more inside]
What to expect from CBT for EDNOS
What will seeing a therapist to treat an eating disorder be like? What specific things does CBT involve, particularly related to eating disorders in adults? What happens in a therapy session? What happens in between? How long will this go on for? Basically, give me "CBT for eating disordered dummies 101", please! [more inside]
Recommendations for good record/thrift stores in London
Posting this here as to not threadjack the other London thread, but might anyone know of any good indie record/thrift/book/zine stores (i.e. not pricey and offering items not usually sold at Mainstream Online Outlets e.g. punk, experimental, noise) in the London area? We'll be heading there in October and, while we won't have much free time, if we happen to have an hour or so.... (Not dissing on vinyl, but stores with at least some CDs (less likely to break during travel) would be preferable).
iPad Writing App with Doc Management and Versioning
I'm going out of town with iPad + bluetooth keyboard to do some writing (accessing/editing a few dozen docs and creating more). I need a text editing/processing app I can load up with source docs, and which can organize them nicely. Since I won't always have wifi (and it's a non-cellular iPad), I'd prefer some lite local versioning for security (though intelligent doc management is a higher priority). [more inside]
Please help me escape or conquer this high school drama at work
I'm really frustrated with myself for not handling this better, and for not clearly understanding whether I am actually doing something wrong here. Help? Childish details inside. [more inside]
Boston Relocation - Neighborhood Recommendations
Do any Boston-area MeFites have personal recommendations for walkable, family-friendly neighborhoods in commuting distance of central Boston and/or Cambridge that meet some or all of the below criteria? [more inside]
Keyboard Recs for an Indie Pop Band
In November I started playing keyboards in a rock band. I'm using a vintage Yamaha SY22 that my husband already had. It's all right but we don't have the original power supply and that seems to create some unreliability, and I also don't love the sound all that much. The link's description of a "thin metallic sound" is pretty accurate. If I wanted to buy something else for a reasonable amount of money (under $500?), what would be a good alternative? [more inside]
Where can I get Habanada peppers or seeds in the Toronto area?
OK, so this post on the blue has informed me that habanada peppers exist and I would like to try them. Any easy ways to do so in the Toronto area? I'm OK with just getting seeds and growing plants but would prefer to buy some of the peppers so that I could eat them to see if I liked them and then use the seeds to grow more if I do.
How can I deal mentally with a bad work situation?
My non-profit job I have held for almost 3 years has furloughed me down to working 'as needed' due to financial issues. I have disliked my position the entire time, and have been trying to leave for years now. While I am madly hunting for a new job, I'm finding it hard to not want to just up and quit instead of hanging by a thread like this. It's been very difficult for me to stay mentally invested in my work when I am deadset on leaving. How can I reasonably deal with this? [more inside]
hot cup
In a hot mug of liquid, is the liquid at the top hotter or cooler than the liquid at the bottom?
Best digital recorder a non-tech person can stand
I want a good quality digital recorder but without a huge initial learning curve. [more inside]
hatespeech in berkeley, homeless and PoC
there's a guy in Berkeley who verbally attacks women and people of color. nothing physical, doesn't approach, doesn't shout, just stations himself on a public sidewalk and directs noxious, customized racism, sexism, and homophobia at any PoC or woman within earshot. [more inside]
Please recommend yard tools.
I moved and now I have a much embiggened yard. I need a hedge trimmer, chainsaw, weed-whacker, and edger to take care of it. Please recommend a solid brand, assume I'm okay with paying a premium if it is worth it. [more inside]
Spanish learning in Mexico and Colombia
I have the time and opportunity to take a 3-4 week Spanish course in one of the following cities: in Mexico: Valladolid, Cholula or Oaxaca; in Colombia: Bogota or Medellin (I have the option to go elsewhere in Colombia if a solid recommendation is available). Can you recommend from personal (or a friend's) experience a Spanish school or tutor for a complete beginner? [more inside]
Accommodations in Boston and NYC?
Seeking recommendations for AirBnB or modestly priced hotels in Boston and New York. [more inside]
Travelling to Nice, France for a week -- what should we do?
My partner and I will be travelling to Nice, France in September. We tend to lay relatively low, are looking to avoid overly touristy activities, and need to stick to a budget. We'll be staying in an airbnb in Old Town but are comfy walking, taxi-ing, ubering, etc. Any activity, point of interest, restaurant (read: coffeeshop), etc. recommendations and travel tips welcome! Thank you!!!
Seasonal rituals for a foreign climate
I'm from the Upper Midwest and have lived the past six years in the Pacific Northwest. It's possible I won't move home to the Midwest anytime soon, but I miss it deeply. Help me brainstorm new seasonal rituals and ways to bring out the colors and relate to my grayscale home. [more inside]
Looking for uplifting, cheery books for kids
My 11 year old likes to read and loves a good book. Lately, the well-rated stuff I have picked up for him he has loved -- but he's reported they've been pretty sad with close family and friends dying. (I didn't know it when picking them up) He's had more than his fair share of close family die lately so I am looking for a few light-hearted books.
Books he's read and liked lately - Crispin, Maniac Magee, Freak the Mighty, and Circus Mirandus.
He seems to read at about his grade level.
Compiling a iPhone-based Italian grammar for vacation
I speak a little Italian, but am far from fluent. I’d like to compile a personal grammar with self-selected vocabulary and basic conjugations for regular and irregular verbs. I’ll have the grammar on my iPhone, but do not expect to have access to the internet other than hotel WiFi. Any suggestions on how to do this? [more inside]
Time to kill in Miami, what to do for 5ish hours?
So I'm in Miami for a friend's party but things don't really kick off until 4pm or so. I've already landed and have a rental car. Anything worth checking out on a first rainy trip to the area? [more inside]
What are these round rashes on my ankles?
I've had two circular rashes, one on each ankle, for quite a while now (since last fall if not longer). What's going on here? [more inside]
Statistics book to connect math and concepts
Hey all, I am taking a college-level statistics I course, and I am finding that I am pretty okay at going through the steps to make the math pop out, but I am feeling a gap between that and what the concepts mean and do. From what I can tell, this is a somewhat old-fashioned stats class with the TI-84 front and center, if that helps you zero in on my issue.
Any suggestions welcome. Thanks!
Pony required - how best to track and journal reading?
Heroically overcoming Too Much Internet, I've been reading more in the past eighteen months. But I need a better way to track and note-take - a way that works with my laziness and tendency to read in bed. [more inside]
Severe foot pain and travel
Recently started to have some foot pain in the past week or two and suspect it's plantar fasciitis. Has gotten much worse in the last 24 hours and I have to leave on a can't-delay international trip on Sunday. What can I do to make this work? [more inside]
trying to find a poem again
I'm trying to find a poem again that I read years ago. It's short, maybe only one stanza. I think it might have been written by Robert Graves. The bits I can remember go like this (not sure it's the right order): Expect nothing. Exist on crumbs. Not for you she smiles, but for the birds. [something something something] and the lonely word of honour pledged. [more inside]
What is the name of this blouse style/cut?
I'd like to find a pattern to sew something similar but I don't know the right term to search.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/12o8B0g_iEibRweUAbyZo8O4SVtlMexOg/view?usp=drivesdk
What's a good second career to address age-related irrelevance?
What are good second career paths to stay relevant as one gets older? I'm 44 and single, and I've been part of big tech in a non-technical capacity for 20 years. I have a good amount of savings but I'd like to continue to be a productive member of society and not retire. [more inside]
Devastated about being fired
I’m a physician. I just found out that I’m being fired because I’m “not a good fit”, and I’m absolutely devastated. [more inside]
April 3
Gluten Free Waffle Recipe Recommendation
Does anyone have a delicious gluten and dairy free waffle recipe? The Platonic ideal is Trader Joe's frozen gluten free waffles. [more inside]
Am I being PayPal scammed?
Last week I received a mysterious Paypal payment of $30 with the message "Hat. Thank you". I refunded the money and tonight received the same message and money from someone else. [more inside]
like retail or food service but you can sit down
I need a part-time (weekends or a few evenings-but-not-overnights a week) job where I won't need to spend most of the time on my feet. [more inside]
Which credit card has the best purchase protection?
So with a change in my income, it's time for me to do a little CC consolidation. So that means one travel/restaurant card to get the most points, one hotel card for where I stay the most and one card to buy physical items with that protects them. It had been the Amex Platinum for that and travel, but I need to give it up. So what's the next best credit card with purchase protection?
Headphone Repair - halp.
My husband accidentally pushed the metal connecter bit for the charging cable into the cavity of his Bluetooth headphones. We can hear it rattling around, but can't see any good way of opening the ear piece to get it out. Ideas? [more inside]
Where to stay in Key West in early May?
Two adult women (mother and daughter) planning a 5 day getaway, May 6 through 10. We would like to be walking distance to eateries and sightseeing. [more inside]
Looking for more movies with seemingly complicated plots which...aren't.
I'm a big fan of movies with seemingly labyrinthine plots which turn out to be fairly straightforward, and/or where what is initially presented as the central plot/mystery/driving event turns out to be unimportant or tangential, and/or just kind of peters out without any sort of definitive closure. [more inside]
Podcast That Would Be Interested In Buckminster Fuller
I am producing an event about Buckminster Fuller on his birthday in July. The event wil be taking place in Downtown Los Angeles. I am looking for ways to promote the event and thought about contacting podcasts for interviews would be an interesting approach.
I am looking for Me-Fites to recommend podcasts that would be interested in Fuller's work and ideas and who may be open to an advance interview with speakers who will be contributing to the event.
Download all of a user's tweets?
Is there a way to download all of a user's tweets? The user in question has about 13,000 tweets in his account. My googling suggests that only the most recent ~3200 tweets are accessible to the public but that a user can get all his own tweets by this [twitter.com] method.
I suppose I can ask the user to download his own account and send the results to me (it's a semi-famous person).
Universal knife block suitable for under-cabinet use
I bought a new universal knife block (this one) but the angle at which knives protrude from it (about 15°) is too shallow to place it under my cabinets because, when I try to take knives out, they whack into the botton of my cabinet. I'm therefore looking for a universal knife block with a deeper angle to avoid this problem. Any suggestions? Much thanks!
Is it possible to buy a new bronze mirror?
It seems difficult to find/buy a non-glass, non-acrylic mirror, despite it being a thing humans did for thousands of years. [more inside]
TV recommendations for escapist binge watching: Netflix/Prime edition
I don't know how to describe this genre, but: Pretty Little Liars, Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl, The Originals, kind of those mini-soaps that take place with no self awareness. Ridiculously expensive sets way out of people's budgets, Big Epic Loves, insane plot points that don't make sense in the real world. I am having a terrible week/month/year and need some mindless relaxation. [more inside]
How were you shown you were loved as a kid?
How were you shown, as a child (up to, say 18ish), that you were loved? Besides saying “I love you,” were there things that your family (or other important adults in your life) did to show you that you were loved and appreciated? [more inside]
Two Camera Set-up For Web Conferences
What is the best solution for a two camera set up in a conference room that would allow easy switching between the two cameras? [more inside]
Help me find some hidden gems in San Jose / Santa Clara area
I'm coming up on a week-long trip to San Jose / Santa Clara area for work. I've done a few of these over the last year or so, and I could really use some suggestions for mixing it up for breakfast and dinner / drinks. What are your favorite local spots, both upmarket and down? What am I probably missing by just relying on Yelp? [more inside]
Recommendations for quirky things and cheap hotels in London
We're going to London for the first time in October (just us two, no kids) and I'm looking for a cheap hotel that's close to transit, preferably a tube station.
Also, aside from stuff like the Tower of London, do you have any recommendations for quirky or occult/esoteric themed stuff that might be a little less touristy, like odd museums or bookstores? [more inside]
Are there any pourable rubber coatings on the market?
I'm trying to line the inside of a metal container to protect things that are placed inside it and I'd considered using something like Plasti-Dip. I was going to just pour a coating into the bottom, let it cure, and go. But are there any other products that do something similar that might be a better choice for a sealed container? Moisture prevention is a concern.
What can I do to help my adult cat with his first move?
Later this month, after about 8 months, I'm taking one of the cats from my ex. We adopted him as a young but definitely adult cat when he was a wild bramble boy, and he's been an indoor-outdoor cat at the same home for about 10 years. How can I help him adjust to a new home as an only cat? [more inside]
Where to eat in SW/SE Portland
I go to Portland a lot but will be visiting a neighborhood I'm less familiar with. Mostly in Sellwood-Moreland, staying in Burlingame. Visiting alone so want to keep it simple, like homey breakfast places or inexpensive sit-down international eats. Where should I go? EIther hole-in-the-wall or hipsterish is fine.
Who should we solicit for funding for a big June queer political event?
What are some emergency or bridge grants or Foundation donations that would be good for a queer/political event in June? [more inside]
How do I handle shame and failure?
I came to the US 9 years ago and am now going to leave and return to my home country without having achieved much or done much. I am so weighed down by shame and pain about it and a deep sense of failure. I want to be able to handle it in a healthy manner without internalizing myself as a failure. [more inside]
Mr Tomato Sandwich?
AFN Europe, late 70s/early 80s: Mr Tomato Sandwich? Or just Mandela Effect? [more inside]
How to Cancel Sling TV
Escape from Sling TV Hell - 8th level of Dante's Inferno Edition [more inside]
How to say "no" enabler edition
Tips sought on how to say "no" to an enabler without feeling terrible about it. [more inside]
Counseling recs needed in Chicago
All right, so I guess I can't do this shit on my own anymore. Looking for recs for a therapist/counselor in Chicago. All recommendations welcome, more specifics under the fold! [more inside]
Scanning Files For Malware and Viruses
I need to scan some files I've downloaded from my website host to my desktop over FTP for malware and viruses and need some help. [more inside]
Best Art app for iPad Pro?
Does anyone have advice on the best professional level Art Program for an iPad Pro ( not the upcoming Photoshop) ? [more inside]
How long does the Apple Store take to replace a MBP battery?
I have a mid-2015 15" MacBook Pro that I bought new in July 2016. It is displaying a "service battery" message, and resetting the NVRAM did not fix the problem. Fortunately, the computer is still under AppleCare, and I've scheduled an appointment at my local Apple Store tonight. How long does Apple usually take to replace a 2012-2015 Retina MBP battery?
installing a mini split/ductless A/C?
Does anyone have experience with having a mini split/ductless A/C installed, or have recommendation as to which unit to choose? [more inside]
I'm going to Notthingham, but is Sherwood Forest not what I want
Hello, every year for professional reasons I end up in England around the end of may and usually take a couple of days to see things. This year I'm short on time so I'm not going far from where my work is taking me, so my options are limited. The question is: what should I do around Nottingham for a day or two? [more inside]
jquery plugin for seamless image gris.
Please recommend a jQuery (or vanilla JS) plugin that allows me to make 'masonry' rectangular photo grids (like this). [more inside]
Navigating San Jose, Costa Rica Airport ---> Hotel
Please take me step-by-step through the process of getting from my plane to my hotel in San Jose, Costa Rica. [more inside]
Yoga apps for iPhone -- what do you use?
Gaiam has completely changed their user model from buy-it-up-front to register-and-we'll-nag-you-to-subscribe. Now I can't access it without registering (which I think I can do for free still, but it annoys me to no end). Tell me about the yoga apps you use, even if they require registration or a subscription. [more inside]
How to accept being priced out of my hometown
I grew up in Seattle (Montlake specifically). My husband, baby, and I moved out of Seattle about 2 years ago to level up his career skills. We just couldn't afford to live there, basically...
How can we move back? [more inside]
Runners - have you ever run from the Hyatt Place Pittsburgh Airport?
Everyone was 100% correct the last time I asked this question (last time it was about Rt. 25 in Riverhead, NY), so here goes. I did call the hotel, and they were friendly but not very helpful because I suspect they kind of didn't understand exactly what I meant; I also looked at Google Maps and the Google street view of the place, but it's kind of hard to tell. [more inside]
My female friend has alopecia — any online forums for her to connect to?
My female friend has alopecia and is hoping to talk with other people who have gotten through it. Can you recommend any online forums for her? Thank you.
April 2
NY to Detroit: Is renting a Prius and driving any better than flying?
My wife and I are planning a long weekend from New York to Detroit to visit a dear friend. Recognizing that the most climate friendly thing to do would be to take two weeks off from work and ride bikes there or to just not go, I'm trying to figure out what the impact of renting a hybrid car and making the 10-ish hour drive would be versus taking a ~90 minute flight. [more inside]
My young adult child has just been diagnosed with DID. Resources?
My 24-year-old has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder during a psychiatric hospitalization. What resources on the disorder have you found helpful? [more inside]
Ouch! How long should I put up with tooth sensitivity?
Will it get better on its own or should I just get a referral for an endodontist? [more inside]
Relaxing in Cabo for a week in April
My husband and I are going to Cabo San Lucas for a week later this month. My friend gifted us her week at her timeshare which is located on the Marina. Neither of us have been to Mexico before. We are old and do not drink. [more inside]
Is a Kia Rio 2019 or Toyota Yaris 2019 better for me?
I am in the process of buying a New Car and I want to know what car is better for me this is what I want in a car and care and some info about me [more inside]
Shady Hotel asking for Astronomical incidental deposit prior to check in
A while ago on Hotels.com I booked a hotel in downtown Philadelphia. It appear to be a private hotel (called China Garden) it was for 4 nights and cost around $530 which I already paid via credit card. I thought nothing about it until today, a week prior to start of reservation, when I received a message from the hotel asking for a $350 in incidental deposit via credit card on their own form which they ask me to download, fill out and return to them "no later than one business day before your arrival." Can they do that? [more inside]
What is on fire right now in Chicago?
From my Chicago window, I can see a huge plume of smoke rising from, I think, a fire. It looks like it's in Bucktown maybe. Is there any way to find out what's going on? I already tried checking major news sites.
Creative engagement ring design
I am looking for ideas and expertise on how to depict a life event in an engagement ring. The wearer wants a classic diamond ring setting and stone, but would like to custom design it to incorporate the fact that they have a child. We would also appreciate tips on choosing a custom jewelry designer (hopefully these don't run extremely expensive, budget is probably ~$17k.) [more inside]
How do I make the least out of Google Hangouts?
Please talk to me about security and privacy and keeping as far out of Big Brother Google's prying eyes as possible while using Hangouts. [more inside]
The Nuns at Sunday School Didn't Prepare Me For This
I have a new-ish job as an office assistant. One of my tasks is to keep the office stocked with snacks, courtesy of my boss's Amazon account; however, my boss and many of his clients are Orthodox Jewish, and would prefer we get as much food as possible that's Kosher. How can I (a lapsed Catholic) make sure I do that? [more inside]
Where can I find a copy of the 1978 movie "Northern Lights"?
Where can I find a copy of Northern Lights (Wikipedia, NY Times Review, WorldCat). It's a movie about the origin of Nonpartisan League in North Dakota, which was responsible for setting up some of the more socialist aspects of the government of that state. [more inside]
Gluten-Free Pasta
I don't eat gluten-free or feed anyone who is, but still I'm curious just in case, which gluten-free pasta is least offensive to those who don't eat it regularly (either type of pasta such as chickpea or rice, or a specific brand)? I have had chickpea pasta and really hated the texture but maybe it was just that brand.
One Day In Seattle
Will be in Seattle for work next week and due to a change of schedule, I now have all day Saturday the 13th free. What are the don't miss if you are here for one-day things to do in Seattle? Mariners are home that night and I am planning to go to the game prior to my red-eye flight home.
How do I see my followers on Bandcamp?
With an Artist account on Bandcamp, how do you see your followers? [more inside]
It's raining frogs, hallelujah
In the text of Exodus, the Plague of Frogs creeps up from the Nile. But many people imagine that scene as a rain of frogs instead, and a lot of Sunday school coloring books and cartoons and other bits of pop culture ephemera draw it that way. What's the history there? Who depicted it that way first? What other artists, writers, movies, etc. helped spread that depiction? [more inside]
Professional Way to Carry Keys/ID
In short: in a job where you wear a suit (or suit like clothing) and are female, what is the best way to make sure you always have your keys on you? [more inside]
Black pens in The Hedgehog?
In the French film The Hedgehog, what black pens does Paloma use to create her artwork? [more inside]
Movies with filmmaker as a character
I'm looking for documentaries where the filmmaker is or becomes one of the main characters, or the filmmaking process is illustrated in the movie. [more inside]
I pitched the same idea to two places, both liked it. What do I do?
I pitched an idea to a large international online magazine and I didn't hear back for a while so I pitched the same idea to a small but equally prestigious print magazine.
I don't normally pitch to two places at the same time, but I wasn't sure if my pitch to the first place had been lost. Anyway: publication is almost guaranteed in Magazine #1; Magazine #2 is interested but said they will "consider" my article for their print version.
Oddly, they both replied within a minute of each other yesterday (my luck!). Could I email Magazine #2 back to say thanks and check if they'd consider a different pitch?
The pitch is for a literary review (so I could suggest another book to Magazine #2)
Spiritual but not religious songs about nature and saving the planet
I’m looking for songs about nature, especially with a conservationist/ecological bent. Songs that belong in a playlist with Big Yellow Taxi and/or point to our reliance on nature and the survival of the planet are great, non-preachy songs about how trees, for example, are pretty awesome, would also work.
Difficulties with Bipolar and staying awake at work.
I’m bipolar and going through a particularly difficult state of mania. I’m not sleeping very much and while most of the time I’m okay with getting though these stages, I’m struggling. I’m falling asleep at work, particularly in meeting. I can’t prevent it. Please give me your best tips for keeping yourself awake in meetings. Bonus points to others that live with BP. [more inside]
Florida bird ID help
This handsome little friend has been eating my loquats for the past two days. What kind of bird is it? [more inside]
User-friendly, multipurpose, zeitgeisty and slightly shiny.
By which I mean Bronze!
I need ideas for (vaguely) bronzed themed things to do in and about London in late June. Because it's my bronze wedding anniversary. [more inside]
Protecting my Laptop (Viruses, Malware, etc)
Just wondering if what i have installed on my laptop is adequate for protecting my computer for viruses, etc. [more inside]
How do I get back into my Cartooning
I am a freelance cartoonist who also has a full time non cartoon related job. I've lost my way a bit. How can I find it again? [more inside]
What most prepared you for the physical experience of labor?
As a soon-to-be-second-time-mom, I am belatedly wondering what I can do in the next two to five weeks that will most prepare me physically and mentally for the pain and physical challenges of labor. [more inside]
April 1
What's going on with my thumb?
I've noticed something strange going on with my right thumbnail lately. Here is a pic: https://imgur.com/a/MkbWO0j. [more inside]
Never ending cycle of horrible neighbors
I live in a major city. Is this infuriating noise and unsafe neighbors just...my life? [more inside]
What are some memorable covers in a language other than the original?
What it says on the tin! [more inside]
Oh So Jubiloso
I'm looking for examples of a particular type of musical moment in popular music (any style other than classical). Short description would be songs with sudden shifts to exultant passages or crescendos. More details and a few examples inside. [more inside]
Young again?
I'm only 30 years old, but I feel much older. I've become age-obsessed and can't stop comparing myself to other people because of this. I'm tired of feeling so damn old and I want to feel young again, or at least young-ish. Or at least not worry about feeling "old." How can I do this? [more inside]
In Lieu of Military School, Vacation Suggestions? (Travel With a Teen)
Two adults wish to vacation this summer. One of them has a 14 year-old son. All parties have indicated they'd be happiest if the kid was allowed to do his own thing for a portion of each day, then reunite with the adults. Destination/price are less important than everyone having an enjoyable trip, but NOT getting sick of one another due to CONSTANT PROXIMITY. What vacation options do they have? [more inside]
What to feed a vegetarian kindergartener?
My six-year-old son recently learned that meat comes from animals and will no longer eat beef, chicken, or pork. The problem is he won't eat much of anything else either. [more inside]
How to make the most of an English Teaching Assistant Fulbright award
I've just been offered an English Teaching Assistant Fulbright for Jordan in 2019-2020! I'm really excited and grateful for it and I will likely accept, even though I don't know all the details yet. My question is a little about whether it's worth it, but more about how to make the best use of this opportunity so that it will continue to help me in the future if I do indeed accept it. [more inside]
Patience + Perseverance
What are your favorite quotes or short passages about having patience and persevering? Positive and encouraging excerpts from religious texts, poems, etc are especially welcome. Thank you.
Two different GPUs in one machine -- what other hardware do I need?
I would like to put two big, different GPUs in my computer, but I think to do that I will probably need a different power supply and cooling system (and who knows what else). Help me get a grip on how to do this. [more inside]
Why did this recipe fail?
Can any baking experts help me figure out why this recipe (Cinnamon squares using enriched dough) might have failed? I really don't think it was the yeast. [more inside]
Big plan change after big news.
Just got some tough news and we need to make new honeymoon plans. Looking for recommendations on a low stress plan. [more inside]
The Violin? The Violin Teacher?
What was the name of this black and white photo book / film about a child and a violin? [more inside]
What is your favorite little-known perq (from credit card, prime, etc.)?
I saw last week that Amazon Prime members can get a year of Nintendo Switch online for free, which...pretty cool! But it struck me that if I hadn't been paying attention, I may well have missed the opportunity. What are your favorite "it's free!" (or even "it's way cheaper!" or "it's improved!") perqs that you can get if you know where to look? [more inside]
Quality of Pottery Barn Leather Couch?
I am thinking of buying a Pottery Barn leather couch -- but I see mixed reviews of the quality of the leather online. I trust Ask.Me implicitly, so tell me the truth -- if you bought a leather couch from PB, how did it wear? Especially interested in hearing from people with dogs. I am in the U.S.
Frugal/simple living podcasts
I'd appreciate any suggestions for frugal living podcasts , particularly those where the people aren't naturally inclined to be thrifty and sometimes struggle with being more money-conscious (or are sympathetic to those of us that are muddling our way along). I listen to YNAB already and am looking for more, but I'm overwhelmed by choice! [more inside]
When does the Implied Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment kick in?
TL;DR: Apartment flooded and was under construction for two weeks. Constant workmen coming and going for 9+ hours a day. It doesn't feel right that I’m paying the same rent I always do for half a month of “unwanted roommates,” noise, mess, and smells. I work from home and this has been incredibly disruptive. It seems like this breaks the Implied Covenant of Quiet Enjoyment. Any suggestions for attempting to get partial reimbursement of rent from my property manager? [more inside]
Language Delays in Children - due to brain injury?
My 17 month old has only three words (mama, uh-oh, no-no) and doesn't even use those very often. Should I be worried? [more inside]
Basic, well-made women's shirts?
I want to buy 100% cotton long-sleeve shirts to layer under button downs. I used to get these at Land's End, Eddie Bauer, or L.L. Bean, but the quality of all of them appears to have gone down the toilet. Where do I buy a damn shirt?! [more inside]
</3
My promising new relationship is falling apart. Could you help me take perspective? [more inside]
securing a microsd card in the side of a notebook pc?
For the first time ever I actually want to be able to secure a card in my notebook computer such that it is tough to remove, but still removable. The card slot is on the side, such that when I put the notebook in my computer backpack it's either facing up or down, which makes it likely to get 'eject'ed. So far suggestions have been 'piece of scotch tape' or 'crazy glue' (in which case it is never ever going to come out, which I'd consider if our universe had reached peak sd card storage size already ;) [more inside]
3 nights in Berlin
I will be visiting Berlin for the first time later this month. I will be there for three nights with a buddy, and we are both kinky people. We are not only kinky people, of course. We like food, we like ambling around, we like tea, libraries, and bookstores. In my case, also arboretums and cemeteries. Not usually so fond of museums, however. My budget is modest; I have lodging. What should I do? Where should I go? [more inside]
How to live like (historic) royalty?
Help me re-center my quality of life expectations by comparing what I have access to against aristocracy of the past. What lifestyle elements were accessible only to rulers and the elite in the past, and are generally accessible now? Here's a diagram! [more inside]
College? Oops, we're still looking
Much to our surprise, my college-bound child failed to get into any of the schools to which he applied. What possibilities are left? [more inside]
Factory landlord won't wear safety glasses
Can we as a manufacturing tenant require the landlord's personnel to wear safety glasses? [more inside]
Book recommendations for 13 year old avid reader
Young Cocoa is having trouble finding books for pleasure reading. With a school break coming up, we need some recommendations. He likes looooong books or series. His favorite genres are humorous fantasy/wordplay (Douglas Adams, Jasper Fforde) as well as historical fiction, memoir, and some character-driven/idea-driven sci-fi (The Martian, Dune) and speculative fiction (Ted Chiang). He dislikes a lot of current realistic YA fiction because it feels formulaic. He doesn't like Terry Pratchett. He doesn't like the situations in a lot of adult fiction: [more inside]
What's the best way to buy advance train tickets in Europe?
I want to buy two reserved tickets for the Thalys high-speed train from Paris to Amsterdam on June 18th. I tried to do this yesterday and got so frustrated... [more inside]
diy firepit/patio area with cement
I am making my own fire pit area in my back yard, and I was planning on using something like THIS to make it look properly bricked in. My partner thinks that small cement bricks will crack and break down more quickly, and therefore thinks that this plan is flawed. [more inside]
Do All USB Hubs Slow Copy Speed?
I use a decent quality 4-plug powered USB hub. My USB 3 external drives get only half the read/write speed through the hub that they get if plugged directly into my computer (even if I'm not doing simultaneous tasks with the other drives), according to AJA System Test. Are there hubs that don't sacrifice performance?
Bin with a lid that will fit paper bags?
I need to organize my recycling better, but my condo association likes to pick it up, with regular trash collection, in paper grocery bags. I want a bin that will hold a couple paper grocery bags, standing side by side, and the bin should have a lid that will seal and keep out cats (and possible curious/hungry critters). It should also not look terrible in my dining room. I'm having some trouble meeting all these requirements just googling. Does anyone have any recommendations?
Is Apple certification a thing?
I'm currently studying for the Sec+ and Network+ exams and it got me wondering about Apple certifications. I've been using Apple products for over 30 years and know the ins-and-outs of the every OS back to system 6. It got me thinking about whether certifications for Apple products are a thing and lo and behold I found Apple's cert site but it looks like the certs are to be become a technician to fix Apple hardware. It seems like a no-brainer that I would get certified with OS X, networking, security etc with Apple products but do the certs have any value in the real world?
UK Pop to Plonk on Piano
Having purchased a piano a few weeks ago, I’m having a great go of playing the music I love best, which is UK pop from the late seventies through the Britpop era. Can you recommend songs for me to try my hand at? I promise I won’t make you listen to the results. [more inside]
How should we respond when our super fixed our ceiling but not the leak?
As new residents we don't want to make waves and there are many issues of concern. Is this one worth pushing back on and, if so, how best approach it? [more inside]
Pick our Paris splurge restaurant
My husband and I will be visiting Paris, and we want to have the meal of our lifetimes there, but with compromises for dress code and possibly price. We're undecided about Michelin stars. Can you help with categories, resources, or particular recommendations? [more inside]
getting (some of the) things done
For a few reasons, I'd like to dial it back a little at work. I'm operating at 100% most days and I'd like to take that down a couple of notches so I have some emotional and mental energy left to address other issues in my life. But I'm not fully in control of my workload (combination of micro-manager and reactive nature of job). How can I take more control over the intensity of my workload? [more inside]
all the single older ladies, all the single older ladies...
Please give me examples of successful interesting women who were single in the last quarter of their lives. [more inside]
Macy's furniture service plan sounds good, but I'm suspicious
Ordinarily I reflexively say no to the retailer's service plan. But the one that Macy's is offering on furniture sounds pretty good and I could see myself using it. Am I missing something? [more inside]
Japanese opposite of schadenfreude?
I'm pretty sure I read about a Japanese word that means "a feeling of pleasure at watching others succeed" -- right here on this site, no less. Anyone know the word, or did I dream it? [more inside]
Dating in Scotland vs London
I'm a woman in my early-mid thirties and I want to move home to Scotland from London. However, I'm single, and I'm worried that it may be much harder to find a suitable partner in Scotland. [more inside]