Help me name my spite ukelele
April 9, 2019 6:18 AM Subscribe
Looking for epic examples of revenge/spite/pettiness from which I can pull the name for my ukelele.
I have finally decided to learn the ukelele after a long time of considering it. I told someone close to me, and they responded with "WHatever. You'll just move on to something else in a month." Rather than being hurt and angry I have decided to turn his shitty response into hilarious motivation to get really good. So now have declared it my "spite ukelele" and I am going to play the fuck out of that thing.
So now I want a name for my spite ukelele that is a nod to some historical event involving spite, revenge, or pettiness. Bonus points if the event involves music somehow.
I have finally decided to learn the ukelele after a long time of considering it. I told someone close to me, and they responded with "WHatever. You'll just move on to something else in a month." Rather than being hurt and angry I have decided to turn his shitty response into hilarious motivation to get really good. So now have declared it my "spite ukelele" and I am going to play the fuck out of that thing.
So now I want a name for my spite ukelele that is a nod to some historical event involving spite, revenge, or pettiness. Bonus points if the event involves music somehow.
Mimi, after John Lennon's aunt, who told him, "Playing the guitar is all very well John, but you'll never make a living at it."
I am finding several versions of this quote, so I wouldn't call the above definitive, though it's pretty clear she said something of the sort. I first heard of it in a book about the Beatles.
(I am in love with the phrase "spite ukelele.")
posted by FencingGal at 6:34 AM on April 9, 2019 [6 favorites]
I am finding several versions of this quote, so I wouldn't call the above definitive, though it's pretty clear she said something of the sort. I first heard of it in a book about the Beatles.
(I am in love with the phrase "spite ukelele.")
posted by FencingGal at 6:34 AM on April 9, 2019 [6 favorites]
Best answer: Julius, after Julius Caesar who was kidnapped by pirates as a teenager.
While he was their captive, he promised revenge. They apparently thought was pretty funny. After he was ransomed and freed, he raised a small fleet and returned to their island. He then recovered the ransom and had them captured and later crucified.
I can picture you telling that story to a hushed crowd in a dark room, and then ending it with "...anywhere, here's Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
posted by jquinby at 6:50 AM on April 9, 2019 [23 favorites]
While he was their captive, he promised revenge. They apparently thought was pretty funny. After he was ransomed and freed, he raised a small fleet and returned to their island. He then recovered the ransom and had them captured and later crucified.
I can picture you telling that story to a hushed crowd in a dark room, and then ending it with "...anywhere, here's Somewhere Over the Rainbow".
posted by jquinby at 6:50 AM on April 9, 2019 [23 favorites]
Henry Frick, so it can be your Fricking Ukelele
Either Hatfield or McCoy
Achilles
posted by carmicha at 6:54 AM on April 9, 2019
Either Hatfield or McCoy
Achilles
posted by carmicha at 6:54 AM on April 9, 2019
Response by poster: I'm enjoying the answer so far! The examples duffel gave are the closest to what I am looking for, in that they are fairly ridiculous things done just out of pettiness.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 7:02 AM on April 9, 2019
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 7:02 AM on April 9, 2019
Old Testament God
posted by mermaidcafe at 7:03 AM on April 9, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by mermaidcafe at 7:03 AM on April 9, 2019 [4 favorites]
Dante's Inferno is populated by almost 70 of Dante's contemporaries to whom he assigned various sins and punishments, making it a true tour de force of spite. And I really like the idea of a ukelele named Inferno.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:22 AM on April 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:22 AM on April 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
This is one of my favorite things on the Internet, with "Lord Byron's Bear" maybe being a great name for a ukulele?
posted by joyceanmachine at 7:23 AM on April 9, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by joyceanmachine at 7:23 AM on April 9, 2019 [2 favorites]
John Pick
posted by bondcliff at 7:56 AM on April 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 7:56 AM on April 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
Jerry, after Seinfeld, who tried to return a jacket for spite and was not allowed.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:04 AM on April 9, 2019
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:04 AM on April 9, 2019
Oh, and for spectacular musical spite, Prince changed his name to the unpronounceable symbol when he couldn't get out of his contract with Warner Bros. You could name your ukulele TAFKAP (The Artist Formerly Known As Prince) or, if you wanted to be more literal about it, TUFKAP (The Ukulele Formerly Known As Prince).
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:10 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:10 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
More musical spite. In the White and Nerdy video, Weird Al is shown vandalizing the Wikipedia page for Atlantic Records, with whom he had a dispute, writing "YOU SUCK" in huge font at the top.
So maybe "Weird Al" or "Yankovic."
posted by FencingGal at 8:19 AM on April 9, 2019
So maybe "Weird Al" or "Yankovic."
posted by FencingGal at 8:19 AM on April 9, 2019
Call it your Spite Guitar, after those spite houses built on tiny lots.
posted by Oyéah at 9:26 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Oyéah at 9:26 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
“The Bride” referring to Uma Thurman’s character in Kill Bill.
posted by forforf at 9:59 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by forforf at 9:59 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Judith, of Holofernes-beheading fame.
posted by SinAesthetic at 10:01 AM on April 9, 2019
posted by SinAesthetic at 10:01 AM on April 9, 2019
Nukelele, since nukes have only been used in spite.
posted by w0mbat at 10:07 AM on April 9, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by w0mbat at 10:07 AM on April 9, 2019 [5 favorites]
You should put a sticker on it like Woody Guthrie's "This Machine Kills Fascists" except it should say "This Machine Kills ______" where the blank is the name of your idiot friend who said the stupid thing.
posted by rikschell at 10:19 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by rikschell at 10:19 AM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
F*** Uke ;)
posted by stormyteal at 10:28 AM on April 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by stormyteal at 10:28 AM on April 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
Best answer: To stormyteal’s suggestion, Fuckulele.
posted by Jubey at 1:35 PM on April 9, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Jubey at 1:35 PM on April 9, 2019 [5 favorites]
On the “fuck uke” train, perhaps the barely disguided “Uke Fu”.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:54 PM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:54 PM on April 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Vendetta.
or, on preview, al-Basa in honor of the most petty apartment building ever constructed.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 12:23 AM on April 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
or, on preview, al-Basa in honor of the most petty apartment building ever constructed.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 12:23 AM on April 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
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posted by letourneau at 6:21 AM on April 9, 2019