September 11
How do I dispose of 3 unwanted horses?
We have 3 horses in livery in England. We are in Australia. It is no longer possible to keep paying for the livery. All the horses are healthy although one is old and has a surgically repaired leg that makes it impossible for him to be worked too hard. Only one of the 3 is said to be saleable. I want to avoid having them put down if possible. What other options are there?
Where do I find adjustable rings?
I don't wear rings because over the course of the day my fingers tend to swell and shrink enough that rings will either fall off or become too tight. In the past I would have searched on Etsy for jewelry, but these days it's pretty garbage. I'm not sure what to search for or where to search for a selection of simple, elegant rings that can be size-adjusted. [more inside]
What's the deal with all these free blood glucose metres. I want one.
I am in Toronto. I would like one of these free blood glucose metres that supposedly everyone is always giving out. How do I get one? Which one do I get? I am not diabetic. [more inside]
Trip to the ER: Just a THC Reaction?
I took a THC gummy on Sunday, and went to the ER due to the severe and intense reaction. Does this sounds like a THC overdose, or is it possible there was something else in the gummy aside from what's listed on the package? [more inside]
Fork Soft Diet - Challenge: Lazy
After some major dental work, I find myself on an extended period of fork-soft diet. I've also lost a concerning amount of weight and am struggling to regain it. I'm a month into this and I'm bored of the textures and the few foods I can find that fit my restrictions.
Recipes? Restaurant suggestions? Protein shake recommendations? I'll take any advice and suggestions I can get. [more inside]
How can I work offline more?
I've been experimenting with using notebooks for to-dos and meeting minutes and I have noticed definite improvements to my productivity. What are other ways I can move more of my work processes offline? Please suggest some tools or workflows that could work just as well or better on paper, with the understanding that I will not be able to change the way my organization operates. [more inside]
Inspiring and moving historic photos?
Today I learned about Jim Rice, a baseball player who scooped up a kid in 1982 who had been hit by a foul ball. He rushed the kid over to a team doctor so the injury could be treated immediately, likely saving the kids life. There are at least two photographs of this that are very similar to each other, and both are moving to me (image search). [more inside]
Twin brother got a diagnosis, some slight sc
You are not my doctor. I'm wondering if you could give me some advice on my next steps. My identical twin brother just got diagnosed with something called avascular necrosis in his left hip and he thinks he will get diagnosed in his right hip after an MRI and xray. My right hip just started slightly bothering me. Should I immediately book an appointment with a Ortho? Looking for some anecdotal advice some add'l details inside: [more inside]
Explaining diet with heart failure to people
The only help I get with my dad as a primary caregiver is from his friends. They’re well intentioned and love him, and they make it possible for me not to have regular meltdowns from caregiver stress. However, he just came out of the hospital for a heart failure exacerbation and they apparently gave him fucking OLIVES because olives are “not that salty”. [more inside]
Navigating religious bias in charity donors
I'm trying to raise money for a secular program that exists under a religious umbrella organization. I'm trying to find a way to approach this so that won't put people off, and I'm stuck on a particular decision. [more inside]
Project management - multiple requestors, multiple fulfillers?
I'm looking for structured, ideally automated or semi-automated ways to take requests from a number of different requestors, and feed them at least somewhat efficiently to a number of different fulfilling teams, when the requests will need varying amount of time and effort from one or more of the fulfilling teams. [more inside]
WhatsApp investing groups
Someone I know has joined a WhatsApp group chat which gives investing advice. Is this type of group usually a scam, and if so, how does it work? [more inside]
Should I buy a fixer upper condo as a first time homeowner?
Condo unit and roof deck needs some work. Please advise this first time home buyer? [more inside]
Amuse my dad! Remote joint activities
My dad is retired and kind of bored and lonely. What can we do jointly but remotely? We do read books together. [more inside]
Infomercial products that are actually good?
Sleepless in suburban Virginia, I find myself channel surfing through infomercial after infomercial. I've never bought anything from an infomercial, but I'd have to say I'm tempted right now bc many of the products look/sound very inventive and useful. I'm keeping my credit card in my wallet for now, but my curiosity is still piqued: fellow mefites, have you ever ended up very happy with an infomercial purchase? How about, on the contrary, very unhappy?
September 10
What to do with a so-so ikea work bench bench
I have this IKEA workbench I'm using in my kitchen in my new rental apartment.
The top is, currently, a rather rough plywood. What the heck should I do with it to make it a little nicer? [more inside]
My Husband (Illegally) Locked Me Out of Our Home in Norway
I arrived to our home on my birthday in July 2023 and was confronted with being locked out my home after the door's code failed. I contacted my husband (he was inside of our home with our kids) and he told me that I didn't live there anymore and wasn't welcome. I had no idea there was anything wrong with our marriage and was completely caught off guard. I called the police and they allowed my husband to order a taxi and hotel room for me; I was homeless and destitute in (Bergen) Norway for nearly a year until I relocated back to the USA in May 2024.
I have no idea how he was able to get away with any of that; I want to divorce/sue my husband for spousal abandonment and (premeditated) international parental kidnapping and would appreciate advice. [more inside]
How do you cope after accidentally hurting/killing an animal?
I think I stepped on a toad, which has activated a spiral of self-hatred. I really like amphibians. I've been active with local toad rescue organizations this last year, so I've held a lot of these little guys, and I've fallen in love with them a little bit. I feel terrible now. [more inside]
Books that feel like movies?
Looking for fiction that feels like a movie in terms of pacing, intrigue, and plot. Can be action/crime or thriller (but not horror). I like political conspiracies though not too woo-woo - just your usual trope of uncovering something. [more inside]
Cotton Business Casual Clothing? Fashion advice needed!
I recently discovered that I am MUCH more comfortable wearing cotton clothing. Looking for cotton business casual style recommendations to keep an eye out for. [more inside]
Monitored Anesthesia Care (MAC)
I am having surgery soon under Monitored Anesthesia Care. When I was in the emergency room for the initial injury, they had to do a nerve block multiple times because it wasn't taking in the first place and then I was metabolizing it so fast and it was excruciatingly painful. My questions: Will I be aware if this is happening, but just won't remember it afterward? And if I'm not aware, then how will they know if the nerve block is not effective or is losing effectiveness? I did have shoulder surgery a few years ago and I remember my dead hand slowly coming to life many hours later so I assume a nerve block can be effective for me. Is the nerve block in the ER different?
Does mosquito spraying kill monarch butterflies?
My area of the city has posters up everywhere warning about mosquito spraying tonight. This is a huge section of coastal NYC. Ive seen hundreds of monarch butterflies on my walk home today. I assume they’re migrating because Ive never seen them before. Is the spraying going to kill them? This seems like a nightmare scenario.
Could not getting spring allergies have caused my fall allergies?
I usually get allergies bad for about two weeks in the spring. I know it's tree pollen by looking at the weather reports when my sniffling and sneezing are at their highest. I didn't get allergies this year because I was out of the country those two weeks. I usually don't get allergies in the fall, but this year I have them bad. Are the phenomena related?
What is this 80s movie I'm thinking of?
Is this memory in my brain an actual 1980s movie or is it just a construction from the flotsam and jetsam of my childhood? [more inside]
Hemorrhoidectomy help
My husband is having a hemorrhoidectomy next week. I've read the materials, but I was wondering if you have any personal experience or suggestions that may make recovery easier? [more inside]
Chicken-free renal diet (wet) for cat with chronic kidney disease?
Vet suggested we put our cat with chronic kidney disease on a renal diet. I told him she has a chicken allergy, and he said he would research and find some chicken free options. The list he gave me are renal wet foods labeled tuna, vegetable, etc. but when you go to the ingredients list for these foods they all include chicken. What can I feed my cat? [more inside]
promoting an anonymous website for free?
A colleague has built a website that could attract doxxing or harassers, so wants to stay anonymous. Are there any free, effective ways to promote it that maintain anonymity? [more inside]
Need to figure out how to put my phone at a certain angle for recording
I am recording myself singing and playing the guitar with my phone (a google phone). I want to put the phone at a certain angle, which I cannot do with my phone tripod or any other way I can figure out. [more inside]
Lake Garda Trout
Where can I find Lake Garda trout in Riva? [more inside]
Putting music on Yoto player cards
I'm maybe interested in getting a Yoto player for my young child. I'm not enthused with the selection of cards they sell and I can't get a clear picture of what it's like to make cards with my own audio. Can you explain what it's like / how easy it is to just put mp3s (or whatever) on a blank card? Can I do it without a smartphone?
Airstream - the good and the bad?
We are considering the purchase of an Airstream camper/trailer and vehicle. We would eventually like to cross the country for a bit when my wife and I retire in a few years. Never owned a camper before. Thought we might try to get used to a camper and get it partially paid for it before retiring. [more inside]
Good, recent (last 20 years?) memoirs by ordinary people
Looking for memoirs of non-famous people partly because I like writing memoir-ish stuff and want inspiration (and am resoundingly un-famous.) [more inside]
Can anyone offer some financial advice regarding a second loan?
Hi all, I'm in a kind of a tough spot... I took out a $50k home equity loan against my primary (H1) residence 3 years ago at 3.99% (balance on it is now $35k). I now have a different primary (H2) and currently rent H1. Due to cc debt I am looking at options for a 2nd loan. Ideally I'd like to pay off first loan and all cc debt and have one new monthly loan payment.
I have listed H1 for sale to try to convert to cash equity to pay off cc debt but H1 is not selling.
I know most banks won't allow for loan in 2nd lien position. And I know any loan I take out I'll lose the 3.99 rate and have a higher rate (which I'm OK with - I just don't want to continue to carry the cc debt). Are there any banks that will offer an option for me? I am gainfully employed and credit is in good standing. Any suggestions here are much appreciated :)
Finding a short story about cats
I came across this story on Metafilter circa 2019. The only detail I remember is that one of the cats chased a skipper (type of butterfly). Searching my Favorites didn't turn it up. Also open to other short stories about cats!
Skilled trade options to study/work for before/while pursuing a degree?
Are there any trades you can learn weekends and nights while still studying for a traditional degree? (UK but open to any ideas!) [more inside]
September 9
Recommend me a great glass for my nightly drink!
I'm a long time red wine drinker, but last year I switched to herbal tea, brewed cold & lightly carbonated, with a splash of fruit juice and a little apple cider vinegar (less than a teaspoon). I've been drinking it in white wine glasses, partly to make it still feel like an adult beverage. It's time to find a better glass! [more inside]
Dynamics of old friends visiting
I have an old college friend X who is visiting from another country to my city, to take a sick family member to hospital. She does this at least twice or thrice a year. In the last five-seven years, she has been interested in getting together, but somehow the circumstances were such that I just wasn't able to. I'm not good at relationships, but I have good memories of my friendship with X and I'd like to keep those without becoming burdened by old expectations. How do I rekindle this friendship without being out of balance? [more inside]
Seventeen Days in Context
A mass has been found on my wife's pancreas. I am here to ask about how her cadre of physicians is responding to it. It was discovered during an ER visit on 8/30. After two CT scans, one X-ray and one ultrasound in the ER, they decided to schedule another endoscopy/biopsy seventeen days later; now, next week. [more inside]
Woo/non-woo marriage
My partner and I have been together for several years and have a child together. Partner has always leaned more new agey/woo with curiosity about past lives, parapsychology, near death experiences, psychics, etc. I am agnostic on these and most metaphysical questions. Partner and I agree on ethics, how to treat people, social justice. I didn't give the difference on spirituality much thought until recently. [more inside]
Car Paint Repair Options
I have an 18 year old car in good condition except the paint is worn and starting to look really bad. I don't really want a quick paint job that will peel off in a few years, but I don't want something very expensive either. Are there any other options that don't look terrible, but also are not overly expensive for an old car? I'd like to get another 5 years or so out of the car without it looking like a total beater if possible. [more inside]
iphone holder/tripod question
My iPhone Xr has an otterbox type of bulky case, which I would like to leave on it while on a stand. It also has slightly more bulk with this teeny spectacles pocket. [more inside]
Mystery White Bugs Appeared Overnight
I had a garment drying outside overnight and this morning it was covered with little white bugs. They were also on the straps of a bag that we left out on the porch, but nowhere else. Both things are black.
Photo [more inside]
Best way to change a family's cell phones and provider at the same time?
We currently have 3 Android phones on Google Fi and want to have 3 iPhones on Xfinity wireless. What's the best way to go about this while limiting any interruptions? Also, one of us lives in a different state. [more inside]
Crawling through a dungeon, page by page
A friend of mine is looking for books that provide a pure dungeon crawl a la D&D campaign or Diablo, with a focus on the protagonist or party actually navigating the dungeon, monsters, traps, etc. It's surprisingly hard to find such a thing! Any recommendations? [more inside]
Smart lock for small office
Which smart lock should we get for a small office? Ideally, one that doesn't need an app to create codes. [more inside]
Being poor in Minnesota vs Wisconsin
Homeless couple in Superior WI, trying to decide between staying in Superior or moving to Duluth. Wondering about pros/cons. [more inside]
Sudden wrist pain - why?
I'll need to see a doctor if this doesn't go away in the next couple of days. Meanwhile, I'm wondering if I can do anything about the pain. Can you help me figure out what this is and what might help? [more inside]
New Backpack
I did read some previous questions about this but...I would love help finding a new backpack. [more inside]
Cranky old man seeks move to Europe
US American with reactive senior dog considering move to a European (most likely Nordic) city. What do I need to know about dog culture to prepare? [more inside]
How do hearing test results translate to a graphic equalizer?
How can I translate my hearing test results to a music player's graphic equalizer so that I can boost certain frequencies to match how a recorded music track is meant to sound? [more inside]
Over ear vs buds on a plane
For some years I’ve been traveling with large, heavy Sennheiser over ears headphones with good active noise cancellation during long plane flights. But the size is, well, not terrific for an upcoming multi-city itinerary. I also own Beats Fit Pro buds that have ANC, which will work much better as long as the ANC works well. From your experience, will they?
What is your favorite online fitness class?
Looking for some online exercising. Can you share your favorite, what the class does, and why you like it? I need to get active to compensate for the hours hunched over the keyboard. (Can be on-demand or video)
Zipper left a stain, how to remove it with science?
I got cream coloured jeans at a steep discount due to a brown stain from the metal zipper. How can I remove the stain? There are many competing remedies online (Baking soda! Vinegar! Salt! Wishes and dreams!) so I’d like to hear from people who have personally succeeded, or chemistry types who can explain with science. Thanks!
Our Subaru seems worse after some major repairs?
What specifically could be causing new heavy "clunk" in transmission, trouble with dashboard notifiers, and other problems after we paid for major repairs? [more inside]
Landlord Q: Rental needs repairs - how to accommodate tenant
Please help me be a nice person but not bankrupt myself.... [more inside]
How to stop Pi-hole from blocking links in email messages
I'm using Pi-hole to do ad filtering on my home network. It generally works well, but it's had the unfortunate side-effect of disabling a lot of links I get via email messages. How do I fix this? [more inside]
Unresolved Lyrics
I'm currently starting on lyrics for a song about unresolved matters and how annoying they can be.
What can you tell me about your experience with this? [more inside]
Movies about "going up river"
I recently rewatched Fitzcarraldo (and the related doc Burden of Dreams) and it got me wondering-- what other films (fiction and documentary) are about "going up river"? [more inside]
Boundaries and elder support, parentification-recovery edition
I'm getting ready to take a long career break to recover from burnout, improve my physical and mental health, and work toward a career shift. At the same time, my mother's health and financial situation are declining; whether or not she can continue to live on her own is seriously in question.
This isn't a question about all the ways I could help her. She's a bottomless pit. This is a question about how to decide what my obligations are (ethically and perhaps legally) so that I can protect my own resources and not be derailed from my own goals. [more inside]
Who is Kathleen Casey Theisen?
I bumped into a quote this morning:
Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.
--- Kathleen Casey Theisen
The quote says what I believe, but better, so I was curious about the author but all I can find is that quote and one other and that she's listed as "American author" in some places and "American sociologist" in others. I also found what may be her wedding announcement in a 1960 Minneapolis newspaper. [more inside]