September 19

Help needed finding sobriety support group with live remote meetings

My spouse needs a new sobriety support group that has been holding live online meetings but doesn't know how to get connected to one or to one where he'll fit. If you have ideas, pointers to the magic directory to search, or specific recs on a potential fit, we'd be so grateful. Snowflake details inside. And please feel free to memail me if you have suggestions you don't want to share in the thread. [more inside]
posted by shelbaroo to Human Relations at 11:39 AM - 1 answer

cat I eat it?

New cat owner question. She's the kind of beautiful lithe cat who flies through the air with the greatest of ease. And then lands on things such as my food. [more inside]
posted by ojocaliente to Food & Drink at 9:43 AM - 9 answers

How to find out more information about this antique Sears chair?

My Google-fu is failing me, I have a Sears chair that I'm guessing is from the late 60s to early 70s, it even has a tag with the original model number "726" and then an additional handwritten model number ( I guess?) of 16977. You can see a number of images of the chair and the tags at this photo gallery. Despite the labels, nothing similar seems to appear in my searches, any help?
posted by jeremias to Home & Garden at 9:04 AM - 5 answers

NotASchoolPermissionSlipFilter: "hand signed" RBG picture

I have a picture of RBG that I want to frame. I'd like it to be personalized with my name and her name in something that looks like her handwriting, possibly with her "Fight for the things you care about" quote on it. I don't want to sell it, it is fine if the actual artist "signs" it as well to show that it is not authentically RBG's writing. But I can't find anyone who copies handwriting. Who could I pay to do this service and make it look at least 80% like RBG's handwriting? [more inside]
posted by arnicae to Grab Bag at 8:34 AM - 2 answers

Specialist in Adult ADHD: Telehealth & Harvard Pilgrim Edition

What it says on the tin. I am in the US. Looking for a diagnosis and treatment for adult ADHD from someone who takes Harvard Pilgrim insurance. [more inside]
posted by A Brief Smattering Of Socks to Health & Fitness at 8:01 AM - 3 answers

What happens to the medicaid expansion when the ACA goes down?

I have a near relative who is a single working age adult who is functionally disabled but does not qualify for disability and who has several expensive lifelong medical conditions. What is likely to happen to the medicaid expansion when the ACA is shut down?
posted by Frowner to Law & Government at 7:41 AM - 2 answers

Short Haircut around Boston during COVID

The last salon I went to for a haircut, which I was happy with early in the pandemic, was not inspiring my confidence in their COVID compliance procedures on my last cut. Can you recommend a well-compliant place to get a haircut in the Boston area? Complication: short hair / male style cut on a female-identifying person. [more inside]
posted by chiefthe to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 7:17 AM - 0 answers

How do I check my Macbook for malware?

I think someone tried to change my Hotmail account password last night. Hotmail keeps sending me in circles when I look for activity. One thing they do say is to run a scan for malware. I have no idea how to do that, and searching is bringing up lots of advertising. I have a 2017 Macbook pro. [more inside]
posted by FencingGal to Computers & Internet at 6:52 AM - 7 answers

Wildlife Documentaries

I am looking for wildlife documentaries that would delight a 6 year old and a 9 year old. We have netflix and prime. No US- or UK-TV.
posted by Omnomnom to Media & Arts at 5:17 AM - 2 answers

Settling in a new cat in a small flat

Asking for a friend who lives alone in a small one-room flat and plans to get a cat. How would you go about settling a new cat in, given that s/he can't give it a room of its own to get acclimatised, as is advised by most rescue shelters? We're in the UK. [more inside]
posted by sockandawe to Pets & Animals at 5:02 AM - 9 answers

How to deal with a critical/negative spouse?

My husband and I are relatively newly married, and are struggling in our dynamic. From the beginning of our acquaintance, I knew that he was an intense perfectionist with discriminating taste and with an Eeyore-like glum/negative streak.  This didn't bother me because he was never negative about me, and he seemed in general to be increasingly more cheerful and happy when we were together (when we were dating/engaged).  He had had a rough time of it before we got together, and so I assumed that the longer we were together, the more he would mellow out as he became more content. Unfortunately, the reverse has happened: since we've been married, his criticism is more often directed at me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 3:02 AM - 57 answers

Freelancer etiquette guidance needed, please.

I'm a freelancer, and I appear to have lost a longtime client. Is there a non-nutty way to ask my client why? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 3:01 AM - 5 answers

Obscure academic paper on social instability from successive shocks

I read an abstract / short news article about ten years ago on the concept of successive shocks to any social system (marriage, village, church/group, town, the nation-state) leading to collapse of that system. The main context was societal instability arising from several shocks. I've 'searched high and low for and come up with nothing useful. TW: This uncovers some nasty stuff so unless your area is war / conflict proceed with caution as my question goes down the conflict wormhole. I have three links below to military, terrorism and crisis events studies. [more inside]
posted by unearthed to Society & Culture at 1:15 AM - 0 answers

September 18

Memoirs or histories of countries becoming autocratic

I'm looking for books (especially memoirs or personal, intimate histories) about the experience of living through a democratic or republican country becoming an authoritarian or autocratic state. Totally fine if this is very old, I'm just as interested as someone in the Roman Republic as Czeslaw Milosz. Thanks!
posted by peppercorn to Media & Arts at 9:48 PM - 11 answers

Grenoble-Bastille cable car Tour de France Picture

I saw in the news a couple of days ago variations of this picture, picture (first in the gallery) of riders hanging under the cable cars on their bikes. Why? What is going on here? They don't even seem strapped in. I can't seem to find anything about it, only that they are competing in the race.
posted by Lesium to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 8:56 PM - 5 answers

Help me understand my breakup

I just had a really awful breakup and I need help understanding it. I was happy and then we were broken up within an hour. I want to know how I could have done better so that I don’t make the same mistakes again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 6:01 PM - 21 answers

Martial Arts, but make it virtual

Partner had expressed interest in taking up a martial arts practice before COVID hit. Can you recommend any streaming English language (or subtitled) classes or teachers for a mostly sedentary beginner so that I can make this wish come true? I *think* they mentioned Aikido, but any school of practice, live vs. recorded sessions, etc., all suggestions are welcome. Thank you!
posted by PaulaSchultz to Health & Fitness at 6:01 PM - 6 answers

What is wrong with my iPhone?

I have an iPhone XS. The same issue has persisted for years, including now with iOS 14. The issue is: once a week (maybe - sometimes it will take several weeks to happen, once three times in a day) the following things will happen all at once on my iPhone:
  • WhatsApp will crash within seconds of opening, possibly related to scrolling
  • Twitter will not show videos or animated gifs - instead they’ll be greyed out (the videos often will play, but audio only)
  • GPS stops working (eg Google Maps and Waze will not know where I am)
[more inside]
posted by Hartster to Computers & Internet at 3:58 PM - 6 answers

Help me strategize US political donations

I found Maciej Cegłowski's guide to effective political giving to be persuasive, helpful, and inspiring. I'm planning on following the basic recommendation to donate to state level candidates in swing states as the best way to help GOTV to defeat Trump. The states that make sense to me to donate to are Pennsylvania, Arizona, and Michigan (because the first two seem most likely to be crucial to the election and the last is where I grew up). [more inside]
posted by overglow to Law & Government at 2:43 PM - 4 answers

Tax headache not worth the tax "relief"

I am looking for USA tax information re: Covid Pay and also payroll tax stuff. [more inside]
posted by aetg to Law & Government at 2:38 PM - 1 answer

What is this Norwegian children's song about waffle irons?

When I was a kid, I knew a Norwegian girl who shared a song her mother sang to her. The only bit I remember is a part about a heart being like a waffle iron. She explained that the Norwegian words for "heart" and "waffle iron" sound similar. Any ideas what this is?
posted by easy, lucky, free to Writing & Language at 2:01 PM - 5 answers

Rapid test in Santa Fe?

We are flying to NM and staying in Santa Fe in early October and I’d like us to get tested for COVID on our third day there so that we can stay with my mother in law with at least a little confidence that we won’t get her sick. I’ve tried googling this, but it doesn’t seem like rapid tests are available to asymptomatic people at this time. Is this true? [more inside]
posted by cakelite to Health & Fitness at 1:56 PM - 1 answer

Shopping app for not shopping!

I just cleared out the kitchen and discovered multiple multiples of things. We have enough tumeric in this house to start a small cult. See also tissues, zip ties, etc. We don't need to buy any more for a long time. But we obviously have some sort of worry that we might be without so I would like a shopping app into which I can enter what we already have plenty of. [more inside]
posted by Iteki to Shopping at 12:54 PM - 9 answers

Are these effects something I could do in Final Cut Pro?

This video uses animated lines and arrows that extend, bend, arc and rotate, etc. It also includes a sighting target that follows the road, and some color masks (not sure if that's the right term). Are the effects in this video achievable with just Final Cut Pro, or do I need a special effects program like Motion or After Effects?
posted by tzikeh to Computers & Internet at 12:39 PM - 5 answers

Paid advisors for a recent widow in the US

A US close friend has recently been widowed. Her spouse took care of all financial matters, and she is looking for a paid financial advisor who doesn't have a financial stake to discuss her overall finances. Looking for someone similar to provide advice on what she should fix if she plans to stay in/sell her house. [more inside]
posted by arnicae to Grab Bag at 12:23 PM - 5 answers

The kind of moralizing I like!

What children’s books have progressive morals, without being too heavy-handed? I’m thinking of books like Ferdinand (just say no to toxic masculinity!), and not so much of “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” which is great but not especially subtle. What other books might be suitable? I’m looking for pre-/early reader level (toddler up to 4 or 5, I guess?) Thanks!
posted by stillmoving to Media & Arts at 11:42 AM - 25 answers

Florida in the time of COVID?

I'm looking for reports from the Sunshine State on how your area is handling COVID and the general 2020 vibe. [more inside]
posted by RobotVoodooPower to Society & Culture at 11:13 AM - 7 answers

how to get rid of dark spot

I did something silly with a zit and now I have a dark spot. Help. [more inside]
posted by nayantara to Health & Fitness at 10:58 AM - 12 answers

Chinese language article on the benefits of lentils

A friend of mine has a Chinese-speaking relative who doesn't know about lentils. My friend would like to point her to a reputable Chinese language article on the health benefit of lentils. Help!
posted by storybored to Health & Fitness at 10:28 AM - 3 answers

resetting my brain in Vermont

Thinking about taking a sublet in Burlington, Vermont for October. The best options seem to be on Craigslist, which of course sets off alarm bells. I'm currently in California and will have to secure the sublet before I arrive. Any ideas on how I can make sure these places aren't scams? [more inside]
posted by roger ackroyd to Travel & Transportation at 9:47 AM - 5 answers

How Can I Make An Audio Recording Of My Musical?

In a few weeks (knock on many substances) I will finish a full-length musical theatre piece. I want to "get it out there" somehow. [more inside]
posted by DMelanogaster to Media & Arts at 9:12 AM - 8 answers

Recommend an intro programming language for 11 year old to make games

What's the language that my son should be learning now that is robust, can be learned by an 11 year old, will grow with him, can be picked up relatively easily and, importantly, that he can make games with, specifically 3D ones? [more inside]
posted by MythMaker to Computers & Internet at 8:25 AM - 19 answers

"Glass apples" which you can see through

Someone in Scandinavia told me in their childhood, they search for "glass apples" in orchards. These were very occasionally underripe apples, translucent in such a way that if you held one up to the sun, you could still see (most of) the sun through it. Hence the name or phrase "glass apple". I can't find any online reference, but that's possibly as no matter how I search I get a million results consisting of glassware shaped like apples. Does such a thing, or concept, exist - and even better are there any online references to more information? Thanks.
posted by Wordshore to Science & Nature at 8:07 AM - 9 answers

Treatment, care for bald heads?

Besides sunscreen, is there anything to protect, repair or care for a bald pate?
posted by ebesan to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 8:03 AM - 4 answers

Feedback on artwork

I've been wanting to be an illustrator for most of my life. I'm at the point where I'd like to try to make that a reality. But I don't know if my art is good enough or I'm talented enough. How do I find out? Can I cold contact artists to get their feedback? Would that be creepy? [more inside]
posted by ThreeSocksToTheWind to Media & Arts at 7:50 AM - 11 answers

Are we right to expect our old CPA to handle this problem?

YANMCPA of course, but how would you handle errors on forms you prepared for someone who is no longer a client? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 6:20 AM - 8 answers

September 17

Italian Citizenship Services

I believe I qualify for Italian citizenship through ancestry. Several relatives and I would like to pool our money to hire an agent to get the required documents, translate them, and deliver them to our respective consulates in the US. Does anyone have any recommendations for where to start? [more inside]
posted by ldjflut to Law & Government at 11:27 PM - 2 answers

Best speeches/ monologues/ rants of all time!

I just saw a Kahl Drogo/ Daenerys Meme and immediately had to think of that insane megalomaniac speech Khal Drogo gave where he promised Daenerys to take over the world for her. What are some of the greatest and grandest (fictional) rants/ speeches/ monologues in history? One I also love, although from the opposite end of the spectrum, would be th No Cape! monologue from the Incredibles.
posted by SweetLiesOfBokonon to Media & Arts at 11:25 PM - 41 answers

Is this a scam - unordered package

During the summer my husband received a package of underwear from Hollister, which he did not order and which we cannot work out where it came from, and more so, why. [more inside]
posted by bwonder2 to Grab Bag at 11:17 PM - 10 answers

Work-from-home must haves?

What are your home office and general working-from-home essentials? Looking for recommendations to help me be as comfortable and productive as possible! [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover to Work & Money at 10:40 PM - 28 answers

Perks for academics?

Are there special discounts or offers that I should know about as a prof? [more inside]
posted by miles1972 to Work & Money at 9:00 PM - 9 answers

Online instructions for basics of Graphic Design

I'm looking for videos and tutorials on graphic design, excluding the use of computer programs. Just the principles and concepts. Something very current, last five years would be great. [more inside]
posted by Dynex to Education at 8:56 PM - 3 answers

Famous nonets

Please help me find more examples of famous nonets, groupings of nine people, things, or concepts. [more inside]
posted by mhum to Grab Bag at 7:52 PM - 38 answers

ISO: picture books where a character takes multiple transportatations

Please tell me about kids picture books where a character goes on some kind of trip and takes multiple forms of transportation as part of that trip (e.g. bus, train, boat, plane, etc.). Whacky transportation forms (rockets, blimps, jetpacks etc. ) also acceptable. They key is that the trip involve switching between transportation methods. Tell me the book and if you know/remember, the premise, the reason for the switching etc. (I can't just get books from the library because pandemic, so the more you can tell me the better).
posted by If only I had a penguin... to Media & Arts at 7:04 PM - 13 answers

How do I decor?

I recently(ish) moved into a new apartment. It's kind of bare bones right now, and I have no eye for decor. Really, zero. And no idea where to start. Halp. [more inside]
posted by holborne to Home & Garden at 6:32 PM - 13 answers

Fix my 'phones

The padded headband on my trusty over-ear headphones has (well, had) some sort of leatherette coating that has peeled away, leaving just the interior foam behind, which seems to be quite delicate. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can protect the foam and keep using these otherwise completely functional headphones? [more inside]
posted by btfreek to Grab Bag at 6:01 PM - 7 answers

Does this make sense -- Dental Insurance Claim

I'm confused about my most recent dental insurance claim, did my dentist's office mess up? Or does it actually make sense? (Canada, if it makes a difference) [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain to Work & Money at 5:35 PM - 4 answers

Affordable retail business wireless/IP camera options with remote/cloud?

I'm looking for the current options for fairly affordable IP cameras for a retail business that offer network access and cloud storage options as well as open source DVR or controller options. I'm also interested in use friendly subscription based cloud DVR and dynamic DNS services. I'm also definitely interested in open source, free or cheap DVR controllers that have decent motion detection and alert options to email or SMS.
posted by loquacious to Technology at 4:42 PM - 2 answers

Father died without a will. What now?

I have been estranged from my father for 18 years. I learned today that he has died. I also learned that he owned a home (not paid for), a vehicle, and has money in the bank. He was not married (my mother divorced him 25 years ago), and had no significant other. I am in NC, if that matters. I’ve been executor of an estate before, but there was a will. What do I do in this case? [more inside]
posted by little mouth to Human Relations at 3:29 PM - 11 answers

Reading and Writing Eagles!

I am a middle school librarian. I’m starting a digital literary magazine and need a name! We are named after a deceased female educator from the town, and we informally use her three initials followed by MS to identify the school. We are the LastName Eagles and our mascot is an eagle. Any cute, clever, or informative ideas?
posted by firei to Education at 3:25 PM - 12 answers

How do I tell my references I turned down a job offer?

Last week, I turned down a job offer, and 2 of the 3 references I used (both were former colleagues) do not know this. One followed up with me; what should I say? [more inside]
posted by thoughtful_analyst to Work & Money at 2:56 PM - 10 answers

International purchase by Western Union

I want to buy something, cost ~US$300 including shipping, from an artisan in Peru who has only a Facebook page online. The Facebook page makes the artisan seem very legit to me, but he only accepts payment by Western Union. Is there anything I should do to, well, reduce the risk of being ripped off or give myself some recourse if I am?
posted by pH Indicating Socks to Shopping at 2:43 PM - 4 answers

Ideas for self-care package for expectant mother

My expectant friend would like a pair of AirPod Pros. I’m getting a set for her, and would like to build a care package around those, preferably things she can also use once the baby arrives. So far, I’ve thought of a soft blanket, compression socks, perhaps something scented? This is a group gift, so the budget is pretty high on it. What things could we add to this gift? The general idea here is comfort and calm.
posted by Everydayville to Shopping at 2:42 PM - 21 answers

Help my husband not hate me this winter.

Now that it’s dark again while I’m getting ready for work, I need to light my bedroom enough to get dressed. My husband sleeps later than I do, and I try not to wake him by turning on the bedside lamp. Help me figure out some infrastructure that works better than the flashlight on my phone. [more inside]
posted by bluloo to Home & Garden at 2:30 PM - 26 answers

Apartment Rejection for No Reason

Apartment complex shutting down communication for asking too many questions? [more inside]
posted by BeatriceB to Work & Money at 12:41 PM - 19 answers

Frozen Asian food shipped nationwide?

I'm planning to move to a new city in the next few years which, for all its other virtues, is 3 hours away from a decent Asian grocery store. Are there any online distributors that will ship frozen Asian convenience food like dumplings and dim sum via overnight courier? Or other creative solutions for getting my fix? [more inside]
posted by serelliya to Food & Drink at 12:12 PM - 8 answers

Not quite a retaining wall, not quite edging

We live in a split level home, with a yard that slopes up to a front door between the levels. The sidewalk from the driveway to the door is L-shaped and in steps. We had plants in a kind of slope around the edge of that... until my partner got restless and dug it all out into terraced levels... without actually having a plan for how to support the new dirt walls this leaves us with. Please help. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown to Home & Garden at 11:54 AM - 6 answers

Herbal infusions – maximum strength

I want to use enough liquid to extract as much flavor as possible, while using as little liquid as possible. [more inside]
posted by dancing leaves to Food & Drink at 11:03 AM - 4 answers

Do you disclose race/sex/disability/veteran status when job searching?

I am in the tech industry and looking for new opportunities. Most employers ask for race/sex/disability/veteran status information and provide an option of "I do not wish to disclose". How do you answer these demographic questions. Does it matter in any way in the process of to getting to an offer?
posted by Abacus Bean to Work & Money at 10:51 AM - 13 answers

Do I want to create a website? a blog? Which platform?

What platform do I want to be using that combines the aspects of both a blog and a website? [more inside]
posted by QuakerMel to Computers & Internet at 10:09 AM - 6 answers