May 25
Help me find this half-remembered fantasy novel
It was about a woman with a gem on her palm who was raised by a ruling family, and sent to a colonized country to rule over/subdue it [more inside]
Non cis/heteronormative books on feminism
I'm looking for books that discuss feminism from a explicitly non cis/het perspective. [more inside]
Is it safe to use melatonin longterm?
From what I've read about melatonin, it's safe to use in the short term, but no studies have been done on long-term use. Have you used it long-term without any ill effects? [more inside]
Help me think through the pros and cons of an accent roof
We are about to have our house reroofed. It is currently asphalt shingles and will be redone in shingles, but I'm thinking about having the small piece of roof over the front porch done in metal as an accent. I realize it will probably add cost to the project, but are there other things I'm not thinking of? Like it's a fad and I'll be sorry I did it? Or maintenance is a pain? Or something else?
What is the quickest/easiest way to add captions to a twitter video?
Is there a good video caption app/service similar to what TikTok can do? TikTok can take a video and do automated captions which can then be corrected and user edited. What is the best way to do that for a video that would be uploaded to Twitter?
position vs. place
Grammar nerds: as transitive verbs meaning to put something into a position or place, do both position and place require a prepositional complement indicating the position or place, or can either or both stand alone with only their direct object in the predicate? [more inside]
Is there any method in this madness?
So, this list fell out of one of my old notebooks today. I definitely wrote it, but I have zero recollection of doing so and no clue as to what it could mean. Was it just some random word association game? Am I an unwitting sleeper spy who found my activation code? WHY IS WORDS?
(mods, feel free to delete if this is too chatfiltery...) [more inside]
Grace period for U.S. car's tags/inspection after 2 years in Canada?
COVID started and the U.S.-Canada border closed the exact same month I was slated to return to the U.S. and 1) renew my car registration, 2) get the car inspected. Because reasons, I can't yet register my car in Canada. My question: If I drive the car over the border and return to Virginia (where I still maintain a residence), to renew the tags and have the car inspected, what problems should I expect? [YANML] [more inside]
How can I watch DVDs on an iPad?
I own some DVDs that I would like to watch on my iPad. How can I do so, as safely and legally as possible? [more inside]
How can I exercise after Bicep Tendonopathy?
I weightlifted for years and it was one of very few things that helped with my mental health and stress relief. I injured my bicep and never went back. Now I am ready. Details inside [more inside]
Questions about The Peripheral by Wm. Gibson (part 2)
Preliminary to reading Agency I'm re-reading The Peripheral and I have questions about that first scene in the future. [more inside]
COVID and couch delivery, of all things?
A household member tested positive for COVID over the weekend. Yesterday, just to keep things interesting, I got a text message about scheduling a delivery date for a supply chain-delayed couch. I'm trying to figure out how many weeks I need to leave between now and the delivery in order to make sure that we don't get anyone sick. Overthinking inside. [more inside]
Giving my kid musical autonomy
We have Sonos speakers throughout our house and use Apple Music to play tunes from them (via the Sonos app). My kid is 5 and loves music. He is able to navigate the Sonos app very well from a parent's iPhone. I would like to let him have a way to access the Sonos app via some device of his own. [more inside]
How does Marvel describe your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman in French
As a result of a French class discussion, I am interested in how the phrase 'your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman' is typically translated into French. [more inside]
California/LA based series?
Any TV shows or movies that incorporate land or water consumption crime in California? Obviously "Chinatown" but also looking for any TV series or documentary that may even just touch on it - true or otherwise (e.g. Season 3 of Goliath, Season 2 of True Detective, "Water & Power: A California Heist"). Thanks!
Help me outsmart my smart clock.
I bought a smart clock because I thought it could solve a specific problem, and I can't get it to solve that problem. Can you help me solve it? [more inside]
Personality testing in the workplace
Have you ever had to take (or administer) a mandatory personality test at work? (Not during the hiring process—the person already has the job.) I am looking for personal experiences or written articles about mandatory personality testing on current employees. [more inside]
Trouble staying awake during the day
I have always been low energy and high sleep needs but have previously managed to work around it, like taking quick cat naps in my car during lunch breaks or take a nap after work before getting dinner started etc. Now I am a SAHM dealing with excessive drowsiness during the day, and I can't nap whenever I need to. [more inside]
How do I find a nail salon with ethical labor practices?
I just had an experience with someone who works at a generic local nail salon and stuff she told me seemed…at least human trafficking adjacent. I get pedicures a few times a year at a similar place and was kind of in denial about how sketchy they are, but I can’t do that any more. How do I find a nail place that I can feel ok about?
(I don’t need help with human trafficking resources or anything, this took place in a professional context and we are dealing with it appropriately)
Desert Island (vinyl) Disks
In the vein of Desert Island Disks, if you had to select only 8 vinyl LP's to listen to for eternity -- what would they be? [more inside]
Classic stoner films (maybe even a documentary too?)
Best examples of stoner movies for community viewing? Deets inside! [more inside]
Guitar lesson plan for self study
I am looking for resources to help me put together a self-study plan to teach myself guitar. I'll be using online videos and websites to explain the concepts and techniques. [more inside]
What should I know about not having benefits at a job?
I'm considering a job without benefits. Help me be realistic about what that would mean/cost me. [more inside]
Donate Used Academic Books
I have boxes of books---political science, history, etc.---that I'm looking to donate. In bulk, not one by one. They're in varying condition. How do I get rid of them? I already picked out the ones I can sell on Amazon, and I don't want to go through each and everyone one and deal with shipping. [more inside]
Good books that are also fast and easy reads
I'm find it hard to focus nowadays, so I would like some good book recommendations that are easy reads. By good I mean: with some thematic/emotional/intellectual heft, something that stays with you after you have finished it. [more inside]
COVID testing in Manchester UK for flight back to US?
My partner and I are flying back to the US from Manchester in mid-July and want assistance with the most convenient way to get COVID testing prior to flight. [more inside]
Need end of life plan for remote family
Inevitably, we feel a troubled family member is going to lose his battle with addiction. As distanced family members, how can we prepare for that day? [more inside]
Navigating complicated grief for alcoholic father
My father died on Friday night from the effects of alcoholism. I am struggling with the loss, grief and conflicting emotions and could use some words of advice. Lots more inside. [more inside]
May 24
Best practices after clicking on suspicious URL
I inadvertently clicked on a website that was disguised as something it was not. I am concerned that I exposed my personal computer to a phishing site. About five minutes after the exposure, I took the computer off internet. Then I scanned the computer with antivirus and malware programs which came up negative. Then in the evening I tried to reset the login information of my financial institutions. I had already frozen my credit with all 3 major agencies before this. Is there anything I need to do? [more inside]
How do you recover from burnout if you just started?
I graduated from grad school during the pandemic near the top of my class. For a long time I scraped by by the skin of my teeth. Now I am working a job I should love, in the field I spent so long trying to get into.... and I am totally and utterly burned out. What do I do? [more inside]
I just can't get over the job I quit, ugh. How do I get over it?
I've written a few questions about it before, but I'm still haunted by the job I quit early this year. Curiosity got the best of me and I found out something even more disturbing about that place... as if the situation couldn't become more nightmare-ish... I'm just left thinking WTF? How can I get over such a shitty, toxic environment? Also, what I found out makes me want to wash my hands of the entire field. [more inside]
"Rani Roxi"(?) Croatian(?) Brandywine-type(?) tomato, do you know it?
From a seed swap I picked up some tomato seeds that I labeled as "Rani Roxi, Croatian, ~Brandywine". Do you know this tomato variety, or anything about the name? I'm curious and can't find anything; also, the plants I started are remarkably sad. [more inside]
Give me a list of ways to manage stress that aren't eating chocolate!
I'm trying to find new ways of coping with a particularly stressful week or two besides eating good food. Ideas? [more inside]
Sleeping/breathing in some paint fumes, safe/okay?
The apartment unit next door to mine was repainted today. Had a very strong, chemical odor, similar to bathtub glazing. Had to open my living room's sliding door and bedroom windows, and run my floor fan at full blast. Smell has subsided for the most part in the bedroom, but is it safe to sleep there tonight? [more inside]
Want to spend my life supporting wildlife/animals, but where do I start?
I have this vague dream of living on a beautiful children's book farm in harmony with nature and supporting animals/wildlife in a big way, BUT I don't know the next step to get me to that final vision. I think I need a concrete plan.
What are my next steps? (Much more inside!) [more inside]
wireless earbuds for sensitive (and small?) ears!
AirPods are excruciating. What nice, soft wireless earbuds would you recommend? My wired earbuds are these which are not fancy but they are also not painful, which is the most important thing. I don't want to drop $150 on bluetooth headphones and then find out that they give me migraines! My dream is that someone else who likes those cheapo Sony earbuds has a pair of wireless ones that they like.
is there a name for this traffic scenario?
I was just angrily honked at twice during the 1.5-mile round trip to my kids’ daycare. Something similar happens several times a week. It happens so much, to me and to others, that it’s probably got a name. I’d like to know more about the situation, including how to handle it. [more inside]
Merging a volume on a Windows Host to a Windows Container?
I have a legacy .NET web application on a Windows container with a Windows 11 host. To make updates I will need to build and move a few artifacts to a non-empty container folder from the base image (wwwroot/inetpub). The build process does not contain all the items in the directory so if I mount the bin folder of the container '-v msbuild-output/bin:wwwroot/inetpub/bin' the build output will overwrite what's in the bin folder, e.g., deleting the 400 or so assemblies in the container and replacing it with the dozen from the build. I need to ideally add/overwrite as if I was building on a local file system without doing a git clean. This is for development only, so I can be sloppy but I'm looking for any solution to get this going, bonus points if it doesn't involve anything extra on the Windows host (so anyone can pull down the container and start developing). I've looked into Windows Filesystem Proxy, I'm not quite understanding if it can help. There has to be an elegant solution. Help? [more inside]
What's cool in bluegrass music these days?
My family used to listen to bluegrass when I was a kid and I loved it, but I haven't actively sought out anything new to listen to in a while (like, 10-15 years). Please recommend some songs/artists/groups I should check out. I would prefer music with vocals to purely instrumental music. Thanks!
Does this Cairo-Tblisi trip sound feasible?
I would like to take a trip from Cairo to Tblisi and am trying to do most of it by ground transportation wherever possible - any tips for this? [more inside]
Brand new to outdoor gardening - variety of dumb questions within
I live in a zone 8 region. I'm interested mainly in planting ornamental grasses, fragrant plants and herbs such as lavender, rosemary, and sage. I also adore succulents, and have researched some that seem hardy in zone 8, but not sure if they can grow in the same conditions as grass and herbs. I would prefer low-maintenance. Cats keep using the garden as a litter box. I have no idea what to buy or how to begin, help! [more inside]
Call the Midwife: Where is season 11 on DVD (U.S.)?
A U.S.-based friend who loves Call the Midwife is fretting because she can't find season 11 on DVD (this Amazon listing says most U.S. DVD players won't be able to play this version). What's the deal? Can anyone find a firm release date? Thanks!
Non-sexist info on PMS
Like many people with uteruses, I get short-fused during my premenstrual phase. I have a long history of invalidation from others close to me that has resulted in self-invalidation. And this is one of the most invalidating topics around. I need help finding quality info about it. I do not believe that I am turning into a person with random, baseless issues just to stir the pot. But I want to sink my teeth into some science or sociological research on this. [more inside]
Data match and edit txt list from MS Access file
I have an Access plant database (Office 365, with local database file) with Genus and plant family for each plant). I also have a plantsListJobName.txt list of five hundred plants (from an historic garden). This .txt is to Genus level (with other fields - all comma separated), and many of these 500 plants occur in the DB. I want to add plant family name to my text file where there is a match. [more inside]
Windows pauses, ponders existence, resumes
My new Windows 10 Home installation freezes semi-randomly* from time to time for a few seconds, then resumes and keeps working fine. [more inside]
Chat room software
On behalf of Mr. Never, who wants to know: have you ever heard of a chat room software that has separate rooms, and you can enter a room, but it doesn't show you previous chat messages in that room. Also if you leave the room and come back, any messages that happened in your absence would be invisible? [more inside]
Making Smoothies As a Lazy Person
Maybe I'm becoming a smoothie guy. My only hang-up is I hate cleaning blenders. Just the whole process of dismantling and sponging off a blade and dealing with a rubber ring and all, doing this daily has got me down. What is the easiest to clean smoothie-making apparatus you can recommend to me? [more inside]
Recommend a wood desk finish
I built an office work desk with a furniture-grade hardwood plywood top. I want to finish it with a clear coat of something. What should I use? [more inside]
Functional phone with camera that I can’t goof off online with
I want to spend time with my toddler without browsing social media or checking work email. I also want to have a phone on me so I can take good pictures and videos, stream music, video chat with family as needed, or call home in case of emergencies. Should I get a second phone and uninstall the browser? Or just get more disciplined about goofing off online? [more inside]
Life in the early 1800s for kids in the Oregon Territory and beyond
My 10-year old son is interested in the experiences of kids in the 1800s (particularly 1800 - 1850s) in the Oregon Territory, along the Oregon Trail, and in the American West in general, and I'd love to find some books or videos that he'd enjoy. I'm interested in both Native American and settler perspectives (so not just the Little House books and Caddie Woodlawn), and am particularly interested in what education would have looked like for kids and what skills they would have learned. Both fiction and non-fiction are fine, with a preference for non-fiction.
What is maintenance like on a plug-in hybrid
My mom is thinking about getting a hybrid or plug-in electric vehicle. After almost 3 days with no power caused by a 7 minute storm, we're thinking about the possible draw-backs of a plug-in electric in a power outage or an emergency, given that these things are going to keep happening (thanks climate crisis). One advantage of a plug-in electric is that it doesn't require a lot of the maintenance (e.g. oil changes etc.). Is a plug-in hybrid the worst of all worlds, maintenance-wise? [more inside]
Question about deumbbell training
My spouse and I recently exercising with dumbbells. The program calls for increasing the volume every week. At what point do we switch from adding repetitions to adding another set? [more inside]
Maintaining a relationship after a friend lets you down
My close friend of 20 years has disappointed me throughout my parent's illness and passing. I feel unsupported during an incredibly difficult time, despite having "shown up" for this friend often over the years during their hard times. I'd welcome hearing from those who have faced a similar situation- if you were able to move beyond the disappointment and recover the relationship or if you let it go. [more inside]
What kind of Covid test is needed?
Flying from Italy to the US tomorrow. Is a rapid test ok or do we need a pcr test? Getting conflicting answers. [more inside]
May 23
The Windows 11 auto restart disease
Recently, I bought a new laptop with Windows 11 Pro. Everything was working well until a few days ago, when it has started rebooting itself, several times per day, for no apparent reason. This is annoying, since I need to find and open all my documents and programs again. The auto reboots also happen during the night, when the laptop is in power saving mode with the screen closed. I'm grateful for any advice on how to solve this.
Good service through which to sell digital art prints online?
I'm an artist who does a lot of digital painting. I've got more than 10K followers on Instagram, which almost certainly means that AT LEAST half a dozen real people regularly look at my art. I'd like to take a stab at selling prints. If anybody has had any particularly good or particularly bad experiences doing this through an online service that they'd like to either recommend or warn me away from, I'd love to hear about it. [more inside]
To boost now or later?
I just had Covid -- roughly April 11th - 21st. Happened to get a generic "Hey, get your booster!" message and signed up for one this weekend. Should I? Should I wait? I'm already double vaxxed + 1st booster. I'm over age 50, no specific immune system issues.
Cheap Coffee Beans and Grinder Static
Grinding beans in my burr grinder causes a lot of static so that the grounds fly everywhere - but only if I buy cheap beans. Why? [more inside]
Help me buy a Thai-English Bible
I'm looking for a Thai-English Bible, but the cheapest one I can find on Amazon is $40. Is there really no better option? I suppose a Thai (single language) Bible could work too.
Help me name my talk!
I am giving a presentation to a colleague's high school US History class tomorrow. The class has been learning about LGBTQ+ history in the US; the talk is a personal perspective of what sorts of changes I have witnessed in the US over the last 40 years as a queer person, with a focus (requested by my colleague) on how activism has helped make these changes possible. I need a good title, however! [more inside]