May 28
Murder most horrid
I'm an Agatha Christie adaptation addict, who's run out of Agatha Christie adaptations to watch. Please help. [more inside]
May 27
Navigating two job postings
How do you handle applying for two jobs at a company when job A closes first, but job B perhaps suits you better? [more inside]
Best films/tv series of Lesley Manville?
I am a huge admirer of the actress Lesley Manville, and I was wondering if there are any good films and tv series that you recommend of hers? I really liked her in Mum, Magpie Murders, Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris, Phantom Thread, and Another Year. But are there other older and new works of hers to recommend?
What kind of paint do I need for this knockoff ball chair?
I recently snagged a knockoff Eero Ball Chair on FBM. It's already been painted badly. What type of paint can I use to redo it? [more inside]
Looks for good books by authors whose last name begins with X
Upon my bookshelves, all letters going by author last name are represented except for X. Obviously, this cannot stand. Anyone care to recommend a good author whose last name starts with X?
Help me keep a senile parent safe online
My friend's father is slowly sliding into senility and can't keep himself safe from scammers, etc. while using his computer. I've recommended a few things to help my friend make their dad's online activities as safe as possible, but this isn't a situation I have much experience with and I wonder if there may be more/better options. All the online articles I can find are too basic and vague to be much use. I'm looking for specific suggestions. [more inside]
Allergic Reaction to Carpet Powder
About two hours ago I decided to use this carpet refresher powder in an attempt to vanquish the smell of my cat's barf. I applied it rather liberally across a section of my carpet but it made everything smell like an acrid combo of lemon and spearmint so I immediately vacuumed it back up. Now I've got a cough and watery eyes. What do I do? [more inside]
Indian Pickle 101
I think I'm aware that Indian people use the word "pickle" in a much more expansive way than westerners - maybe it really means something more like preserving and not just using pickling salts, vinegar, but also oils, etc? [more inside]
Safe to reheat lasagna after already having heated it?
Yesterday, a friend brought me homemade lasagna with ricotta and (cooked already) ground beef. We heated it up, but it wasn't fully heated. We were in a hurry due to a birthday party, so I ate some of it (kind of lukewarm) then put it in the refrigerator. It was really good. Is it safe to bake again (this time, to doneness)?
What’s the significance of this Thai amulet?
A friend has a very old amulet and wants to know its meaning and how to best care for it. [more inside]
Psoriatic Arthritis for the novice
Recently diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis after decades of having plaque psoriasis. If you hav psoriatic arthritis, do you have any day to day, long term, and other advice for me? [more inside]
Have the radio players of my youth become extinct?
I have an old boombox that's indicating it's operational days may be nearing an end. I'm having trouble finding a replacement - a smallish, internet-independent radio that fits my criteria; they all seem to be poor quality. I didn't think this would be so hard. Can you help? [more inside]
Can you build a wooden deck with wood so close the ground?
This likely falls into fantasy-land for me, but this is my dream deck. But wouldn't the wood flush with the ground rot? [more inside]
Therapist recommendations for Boulder, CO?
A relative of mine is aging and ailing, and has a lot of anger and fear around it. Finally open to therapy. Seeking recommendations for a great in-person (not zoom) therapist in Boulder, CO (or thereabouts) who is taking new clients. [more inside]
May 26
Otterbox Defender Just aint the same
I Love love love(d) my old Otterbox Defender for my iphone 12. however, the charging port protector broke off, and looking at the models now available, it is no longer as rugged a case. Before it was all one hunky protective thick rubber piece—now it comes with a few pieces to fit together. Any suggestions of the best rugged iphone 12 case currently available? I want rugged, water resistant, port covers/plugs. I don’t mind if it is chunky or (to some people) cumbersome as long as it is very protective and sturdy
Can I use AI for work?
I know that I physically can, but what should I consider before I do? [more inside]
How did the Buddhist temples survive the Cultural Revolution in China?
There are some lovely Buddhist temples in Shanghai and Hangzhou, and there are lots of people praying at them. How did they survive the Cultural Revolution? Considering they are old and religious, one might have thought they'd have been repurposed, or even dismantled.
Who is this double act?
These two illusionists give me a powerfully strong and wonderful old-gay-couple-tired-of-the-others-nonsense vibe. Who are they and how do I see more of their act? (Warning: mechanics of illusions are revealed.)
Waring blender 51bl25 glass container wobbles?
My Reason for Living just picked up a Waring blender model 51bl25 on Marketplace. The glass container does not seem stable when placed on its base. [more inside]
Ethical ways to correct incorrect gossip?
There's some gossipy chit-chat going on in my circles. I've kept out of it, but now I actually think that might be the morally wrong thing to do. Please help me think through this and plan a (potential) response. [more inside]
Videos where kids interact honestly?
I'm looking for videos of real kids (age 4-13) where pairs of children are interacting in authentic ways, having disagreements, and displaying real body language - that can be used to teach children to observe their peers' body language. [more inside]
Rest in Password
I’d like to put my estate papers on a storage site like Dropbox or Google Drive (encrypted naturally) so my future executors can access them. Is there any difference in these sites and is one preferred over the others?
Is Faiyum a surname?
I'm researching a surname used in a fictional story. I don't see any references to it being used as a person's name, only the name of a place. As a surname, it might be entirely made up, a little made up, or a name I just haven't found elsewhere. Have you heard or seen it (or an alternate spelling) before? [more inside]
Specific gift ideas for increasing happiness and connection.
You or a friend are...alive in 2023, and you decide that a small gift might give a little nudge of happiness to that person. Although the best gifts are usually not objects, sometime you _do_ want to get/give/send a small something. Gift giving is a love language, after all. What specific items would you gift, or want? [more inside]
Help me remember a card game.
I played a card game - sort of like golf - called Hanif and I want to confirm the rules. [more inside]
MAPS Psychedelic Science 2023 - worth it for non-medical professionals?
The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) is hosting the 2023 Psychedelic Science conference in Denver, June 19-23. I have a recreational interest in this field, and I'm looking for potential career changes and just general inspiration.
This is the fourth MAPS conference so I'm hoping to hear from someone who has attended in the past what it's like and if it's worth attending? (I'll bring a friend so it won't be lonely!) [more inside]
Sometimes I want to be basic
Facebook's mbasic has stopped working on my phone, all of a sudden about a day ago. It says the website I'm looking at is mbasic.facebook.com, but the interface is the non-basic mobile interface. I deleted cookies, site data, and cached images and files (I haven't tried deleting browser history yet). I tried a different browser (Safari instead of Chrome). The problem persists. I can still use mbasic on my laptop's browser, however. How do I get back to mbasic on my phone?
Give me the best of crass, commercial America
I'm seeking ideas for pedestrian American items that make good gifts for friends and family abroad. [more inside]
What can I do for visual stimulation while listening to audio books?
I'm interested in ways to keep my eyes busy while I listen to audiobooks/podcasts. Where can I find interesting photos and video (or maybe even games on my phone) that don't involve any words or sounds, which would distract me from the audio I'm listening to? [more inside]
My Mother Went to Tel Aviv and All I Got Was What?
In need of small gift ideas to buy in Israel for twenty-something year olds in the Philippines. [more inside]
Recommend me the perfect decibel monitor
I'm on the committee of a community hall that frequently gets noise complaints. I'd like to install a clearly visible decibel meter in the premises. Please recommend me the best devices you know of. [more inside]
Will our willow-pattern dinner-plates be ranged above the chimneypieces?
In the 1889 novel "Three Men in a Boat", Jerome K. Jerome speculates on whether their everyday Victorian goods will be valued antiques in the future. Were they? [more inside]
May 25
how to feel alone without feeling miserable
resources for white trans woman in NYC facing homelessness
A dear friend is a white trans woman in NYC facing homelessness in 5 weeks. What local non-shelter resources can she take advantage of? Is there a mutual aid group that can help? [more inside]
Sister judges me for working at a new company she disapproves of?
How do I (30F) handle my sister (41F) who judges the company I work for? [more inside]
what did I read?
I am trying to remember a British (?) author who wrote a couple of plot-twist-y thrillers that I read some years ago. Details inside. [more inside]
Grammar of "I see him [verb]"
I'm curious about the grammar of the underlined part of this sentence from The New Yorker:
In spite of her experiences witnessing protocols fail or be subverted, Easthope still argues strongly for disaster and recovery plans.Some specific questions inside... [more inside]
Yet another "name this dog", with constraints
Our Westie died of pulmonary fibrosis about six weeks ago and we are sadly dogless. But we have a very good chance of acquiring another retired show Westie and everything looks good (although we have not yet met this dog) except for the name, which we really don't like. Can you help us come up with a new name? [more inside]
Is Grammarly Changing English Writing?
Short question: Is Grammarly changing the way people write in English?
Long question inside: [more inside]
How would I get the autograph of a long retired singer?
A friend of mine has a wall of autographed photos from opera singers, some of whom stopped singing before his birth, but he wrote to them and got them. With active singers, I believe you contact their artist manager. With someone who is in her 90s and presumably has no manager, is there a way to do this? I have missed getting the autographs of some singers I loved who died and the one or two I have are nice keepsakes. (I could go on ebay or something but the thrilling thing with my friend's little collection is thinking: you had Madame X actually write this for you. Be they ever so stupid, that few seconds of connection would seem to be the charm of autographs.)
Bloated emails
I know that an email message is always larger than what you'd think it would be given the amount of text and the size of the attachment. But why are they so bloated and bulked up? [more inside]
My next car - international edition
I'm very curious about how to go about finding a new car that is actually manufactured for the non-US market and bring it to the U.S. [more inside]
Emulating a CRT television on a Mac
I want to emulate the effects of a CRT television (scanlines, a bit of a glow, curved corners) when watching files on my MacBook. Is there a Mac OS video player that supports GPU shaders in the same manner that video game emulators do? Or, if not specifically a video player, an overlay like the Windows program ShaderGlass? [more inside]
"Browser security" that works and isn't terrible
I have a not super tech savvy acquaintance who occasionally gets tripped up by malicious websites. They asked me to recommend a "security system." Is there anything that will actually work in this case? [more inside]
Post-military burn pit skin condition on face
After getting back from Iraq and facing regular exposure to burn pits, a good friend and battle buddy continues facing long-term unresolved skin conditions on his face. [more inside]
What are some good books that have strong summer vibes?
I went through a period of reading books with strong winter vibes and those books were easy for me to find. Now I want books with summer vibes, but I’m having a harder time finding what I want. [more inside]
How to interview: medical social work edition
I am in the process of interviewing for a job as a heart transplant social worker and am invited to a virtual "meet and greet" with the surgeons tomorrow. I've been advised that I should convey my understanding of the hospital hierarchy in those conversations and would appreciate any insight on that topic—or anything else that comes to mind! [more inside]
not the worst problem
I just became eligible for much cheaper health insurance so we can stop using my husband's expensive work plan (or can we?) (US-based, in case not obvious) [more inside]
How to bind a sheaf of paper together?
Sometimes I need to print a long PDF. Fifty to a hundred pages. Occasionally more. The result is a pile of paper that instantly explodes all over tarnation. How can I bind the pages together As One? [more inside]
Dresses to dress my problem bits
So this summer, I will be attending my first wedding since covid, and I have also happened to gain a bit of weight during covid, meaning none of my dresses fit. I am not at all fashionable in my daily life but for Reasons, I would like to look nice and feel confident at this wedding, but I've never bought a dress for my body as it is right now. More below... [more inside]
Time for a new home office chair
I'm currently stuck at home and hating my office chair even more than usual. Please recommend a chair that I can order online. Are you 5'5"-ish, stout, and into good back support and a kinda sturdy-feeling chair? Rec me, my friends. Short list of additional preferences below the cut: [more inside]
Ambiguous relationship break/break-up - struggling with no-contact
My relationship with my partner (together for 3 years, long-distance for 1) has been struggling recently. My partner has asked that we separate while they work on some of their own issues. But, they would still like to remain in contact as close friends. I am having a really hard time with this (both the idea of staying in contact but not in the way I want, or going no-contact and cutting off that connection completely, potentially forever). [more inside]
How to find a job with school hours (9-3)?
I'm trying to find a job that allows me to work 9-3PM with no evenings or weekends in order to be with my kids (5, 11, and 15) during summer and after school. What roles should I be considering, and how should I find them? Right now, I work part-time in a public library and need to work until 5PM one day, until 9PM another day, and a full weekend day twice a month. [more inside]
Should I remove Medicare from my listed hospital insurance?
Kind of a tricky one. For my recent hospital surgery (to help remove colon cancer), my insurance, Kaiser (HMO) is the main insurance covering my stay there. However, I also have Medicare (hospital insurance, part A only) still active from the time I had SSDI temporarily about 7 years ago. Medicare is listed on the hospital insurance website. Should I remove it? [more inside]
Who sings "Watch Me" in the "This is Us" series finale trailer?
Who sings "Watch Me" in this series finale trailer for "This is Us?" I have not been able to find and credits for the trailer and Shazam has nothing. There were two other versions of the song used during the series. My gut tells me it was something Mandy Moore recorded for the show and was never published. Any ideas?
looking for excellent books on anime and/or (visual media) criticism
specifics within, but the tldr is I want to find some books (or other media: textbooks, videos, essays, whatever) that can hone how I think about criticism, especially of anime. ultimately I care most about the quality of analysis and writing, but an anime focus is a huge plus [more inside]
What has worked for you to treat rosacea?
Asking for my sister. She has tried thermocoagulation (Veinwave) treatment for rosacea, but it hasn't helped. The last question about what works for rosacea is from 2012, so I thought it was worth asking again. What has helped you?
SIDS
Trigger warning: SIDS question. [more inside]
Give me hot water, boiler!
We have what should be a pretty fearsome combi boiler, that puts out a pitiful amount of hot water. I'm fairly confident I'll need to phone a plumber in the end, but is there anything I can check myself first before doing so? [more inside]
I'm looking for some advice on how to skip my grandmother's funeral grac
My grandmother's funeral is coming up and I don't feel like I will be able to attend it. [more inside]