September 28
Choosing a HVAC system and installer
We're replacing our ancient furnace and AC with a heat pump system soon. Should the brand of system sway the decision more than our experience with the prospective installers? [more inside]
How to win friends and influence people on Twitter
I am very late to the Twitter game indeed, but have been recently set on fire to play harder after recent events in Canada. As background, I use a cel phone to make phone calls, and more recently to take photos and listen to music: I don't try and type on that thing at all. And the notion of restricting a thought to an arbitrary 156 characters is poisonous to thought itself in my estimation. [more inside]
A Puzzling Question
There is an out-of-print woodworking book on puzzle boxes that I would like to buy as a gift for my father, an award-winning woodworker. However, the cheapest copy I can find online is +$80. There is a $14.99 Kindle version, but that won't do for Dad Swan, who doesn't own or use any internet devices. Is there a cost-efficient way to have the Kindle version printed in full colour? (My printer is least 18 years old and is only up to the job of printing word documents, so that's not an option.)
Cross-country flying with cats: tips and suggestions?
We're planning to spend a few months at a time in Los Angeles and Georgia, and the biggest concern (of course) is keeping our cats with us for the longer durations. Any suggestions, tips, from frequent flyers with house cats on how to best go approach getting them coast to coast? [more inside]
Private journal for Apple devices?
(Posting for a friend) I’ve started journaling using Notes on iOS. I’m looking for a program that lets me do what I want to do but doesn’t overwhelm me with stuff I’m not interested in. Notes is adequate but doesn’t let me seamlessly switch between iPad and iPhone very easily. [more inside]
Seeking an interesting or oddball way to keep and display some sweets
I went to see a play recently and managed to catch a couple of Fox's Glacier Fruits that an actor threw into the audience.
I know the perishability of boiled sweets might make this impossible, but can you help me brainstorm an offbeat way to preserve and display them? [more inside]
Lien on me
Can I skip ahead in podcasts using hard buttons on a Samsung/Android?
I have a Samsung Galaxy s10. When I'm listening to a podcast with wired headphones, I can double-press the pause/play button on the headphones to skip ahead (30 seconds in a podcast, or next song in a music player). I want to be able to do this with the hard buttons on the phone with the screen still locked. Is that possible? [more inside]
Why are Chicago hotel rates so hight for next weekend (October 6-8)?
About a month ago, while looking for a hotel in Chicago for October 6-8, all the hotel rates I saw were about twice as high as normal (~$400/night instead of the usual ~$200/night). What's going on in Chicago next weekend to make the rates so high?
Can a non-user currently read twitter threads?
If I search for a person's Twitter account in a browser and click on their link, I get old random tweets, not current ones. Is it possible right now for a non-account holder to read a person's current public tweets? How about tweets and responses? If not, is there a site that republishes people's tweet threads?
My friend is accused of sexual harrassment. Now what?
A very close friend of mine has been sued for sexual harrassment. I have no idea how to handle this. [more inside]
How to be a good uncle to a 4-year-old?
How do kids' brains develop? I moved to a new town and am now babysitting a 4-year-old and 1-year-old. They are fascinating! I want to learn how to be a good babysitter and uncle. Please recommend resources and ideas that might be useful. [more inside]
Minimalist Halloween Costume Ideas for Travel?
I am going to be living out of a suitcase for a month (with no access to stores), and during that time I will be going to a Halloween party and will need a costume. Help me brainstorm a costume that is very light and packable? [more inside]
Government Shutdown/Airline Filter
I will be flying from Chicago to Philly on Saturday morning, and my brother just forwarded me an ominous message from a friend who saw some shutdown related chaos already in airports. Anyone got any inside intel or tips? [more inside]
Likely botched translation of Nietzsche's quote
In the Korean series Wok of Love, a supposed Nietzsche's quote is often repeated: "I don't care how many times it is I want to relive this sickening life." [more inside]
What websites or apps do you use to find cheap late-minute flights? (US)
I now have a 100% remote job, and want to couple that with visiting family and friends, most likely with a 1-3 week lead time. What sites do you use to find the best deals?
VPN
So I have a VPN now, what video can I stream? [more inside]
TravelFilter: Portland, Maine (and surrounds) things to do, see, eat
We are going to Portland, Maine for a weekend in October. We plan to go for a drive to see foliage (and we are willing to do a long drive for that), but what else should we do, see and eat? Snowflake details inside! [more inside]
DIY remedies for oral thrush?
It's been a WEEK. I took my puffer at work several times, when I wasn't able to rinse my mouth, and I think it gave me oral thrush (a known side effect). I'm also on penicillin for strep throat - so I can't tell if the gross "coated" feeling in my mouth is from the strep, or from thrush. Is there some kind of DIY remedy I can use to try to kill the thrush? Thank you for any advice.
Help finding a practical, hands-on med professional for ADHD
I have a diagnosis of ADHD inattentive (ADD), a psych doc, & prescription meds. I've done talk therapy. I am desperately in need of practical, real help with learning to executive function. I'm probably describing an ADHD coach but my financial situation is bad so I need someone who is in network with BCBS insurance. I'm in CT, USA. Any suggestions, whether specific people or what the kinds of specialists who do practical work with people who have executive function disorders are called? ADHD levels of additional detail below the fold. [more inside]
What's going on (technically) with TheVerge.com's homepage?
I'd never gone to The Verge's homepage until very recently, so I don't know if this is something new or not, but without fail visiting that page over the past month or two makes the fans on my laptop start blowing extremely hard within a minute or so, and sometimes sooner. I've noticed no other webpages doing this. Any idea what's going on? [more inside]
Help me manage anxieties around getting in trouble/going to jail
I suffer from anxiety which I believe is part of a wider trauma response to an emotionally abusive parent. I'm now 10 years very low contact and have done a lot of work on this in therapy. As I work on it, I'm realising that my anxiety is quite specifically centred on fear of getting in trouble/disappointing figures in authority but am still struggling to move past it and looking for advice on that. [more inside]
Ads in a new Gmail account?
Just created a new Gmail account and didn't publish the address anywhere. In a few hours I started getting ads to this account. The ads are sent from mail-noreply [ at] google.com and the links in the ads are all to https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?manystrings_and_parameters. Are Google sending me those ads? Did I agree to that?
[UK filter] How is the cashier scamming me, exactly?
[UK filter] Did some grocery shopping at a supermarket. Bought approx 10 items which were roughly £2-5 each with a total of £40. Paid by credit card. Came home, checked the receipt and lo behold, I paid for (but did not receive) a food luxury item that cost £10! Let's assume this was deliberate and not a mistake. How did the cashier steal from me? [more inside]
Can I eat it? Frozen Pepperoni Pizza Left Out Overnight
I have a box of frozen pepperoni pizzas. I left them out overnight. I'm thinking...bread, tomato sauce, cheese, cured meat...it actually sounds like it would be fine, no? Can I just put it in the freezer and act like this never happened?
September 27
Looking for novel about Sarmad Kashani
I recently came across a description of a novel (either a publisher's website or on Amazon) that is either about the Sufi saint Sarmad Kashani or a fictional character modeled on him. [more inside]
1990s children's video game identification
I have this bit of dialog stuck in my head from a children's (presumably somewhat educational) video game from the 1990s: "To make fried ice cream I need three cups of sugar", and "How sweet it is". What is the game? [more inside]
ELI5: Renewing a UK passport from the USA, the old-fashioned way
I'm helping someone renew their recently expired UK passport. They (and I) live in the USA. Also, the UK government's helpful online tool doesn't load... what now? [more inside]
A Frog in a Kenwood Mixer
Although "A Frog in a Kenwood Mixer" is a well known punchline, I have a specific memory of a British comedian saying it, I think from one of the comedy records of the 1980s, someone from the Not The Nine O'Clock News team for example, or a Python. Does anyone know where I will have heard it and who from?
Accept loan offer and pay off credit card debt?
I've been getting loan offers through Credit Karma and others...should I get one in order to pay off my credit card debt? More info under the fold... [more inside]
Why don't children swear in movies anymore?
I've been watching a lot of movies from the 80's with my kids: Uncle Buck, Goonies, Flight of the Navigator. These are movies for kids about kids, and the kids swear a lot to each other (rarely to adults, but sometimes). The adults rarely swear, if at all.
I feel like the 80's had the christian right and moral majority in the US, so I'm pretty surprised that movies would have children swearing then, but not now. What changed?
How did you learn how to accept help?
I need to practice accepting help from the caring people in my life. The Miss Independent schtick needs to stop, and I want to be gracious and allow them to help me when they offer. In the past I may have felt I had something to prove, but I've realized I can't do life completely on my own. How did you learn to accept help that's being offered to you? How did you remind yourself to try again when people let you down?
What is the title of this electronic album? (It’s the run time)
I am desperately trying and failing to think of a mellow electronic album from the 90s. It appeared on multiple best-of lists for ambient or downtempo IDM, and the name of the album is its run length (Track names are also run lengths.) All I can recall is that the cover is yellow green. Thanks!
I've been bank phished (embarrassing) and now I don't know what to do
I received an email that looked like it was ABSOLUTELY from my bank (Chase), and bore no marks of being fake or phishing, regarding a claim I had recently filed. Everything looked 100% legit, and I had in fact filed a claim. It took me to a *real letter about my real claim*. I called my bank a few days later and they said that the email was a phishing scam. Lots of details inside that are frankly frightening and bizarre. [more inside]
Do you have an analog wall clock that doesn't tick tick tick at you?
Pretty much what it says on the tin. I want an analog wall clock for my room but I don't want to feel like I'm going to sleep in the clock shop every night. Battery operated is best but not necessary. Thanks!!!
Post-op dog behavior and coyotes
Our dog's attitude has changed post knee surgery, and seems more easily triggered by coyote neighbors - what are some solutions? [more inside]
What tape to tape plastic around my window on brick outside?
I want to put that soft plastic wrap stuff around a window to prevent drafts from getting in, but I want to put it OUTSIDE, on the brick (old, dirty) around the window. Is there a tape that would work for this? (inside it's complicated, with window bars)
App for going to open houses?
I'm planning to buy a house in the next year in an area I'm still very unfamiliar with. To get my feet wet, I want to start going to open houses. Is there an app that will help me figure out what order to look in when there are several at around the same time? This is in Utah if that helps. [more inside]
Useful iOS Shortcuts/Automation
I just recently figured out how to use shortcuts/Automation on my iPhone (connecting to audio devices and starting up a Spotify playlist) and thought it could simplify my life a bit. Do you all have any great ideas on how to automate/shorten some steps do things? I have no smart home enabled devices.
Useful/Essential apps for visiting Rome?
USAian visiting Rome in a few weeks - trying to load up my phone with apps I might use there. So far I've got Omio, The Fork, Tiqets, Maps.me and a couple of others. What are your best recommendations? Is there a good Uber/Lyft equivalent or Taxi app?
ONE PLACE in SF to donate office/school supplies
I'm moving by myself, and I'm trying to find a simple, easy way to donate a big box of office supplies (binders, folders, envelopes of various sizes, unused notebooks of various sizes, pencils, pens...) [more inside]
Does this herpes assessment seem accurate?
A friend of mine was told something about herpes by her OBGYN and I'm confused. [more inside]
Where are Eddy and Lao Yang from "Empire of Dust" (2011) today?
I just saw the documentary "Empire of Dust" (2011) about a Chinese crew building a road in Congo and enjoyed it. (You may have seen the "It's all so tiresome" meme from this movie.) Does anyone know where the two main characters, Eddy and Lao Yang, are today? Is the road they were working on done?
Best/Most Interesting AR/3D capture apps for iPhone
For the first time, I've got an iPhone (15 Pro) that supports AR/3D capture. What are the best, most useful, and most interesting apps that utilize AR, 3D, or other uses of the multi-camera and sensor doodads? I'm interested primarily in tools/utilities, but also games and other unique uses. [more inside]
How to tape a flyer
I need to do some old-fashioned outreach by putting up an A4 size paper on light poles and who knows what else. It is rainy here. Also, some people may want to tear it down because it involves a new queer women’s meet up that I am starting. Please share everything you know about the best way of attaching this piece of paper to various objects and making it hard to pull down. I want it to stay up until the end of November.
PhD: Met with 2 POI in the same department. How to kindly "reject" one?
PhD applicant in the US. I met with two POI (people of interest) from the same department and one asked me to let them know of my decision. Does this mean that I should notify both of whom I want to work with before applying? If so, how can I do this respectfully and without burning a bridge? [more inside]
How many apples is too many apples?
We are covering this with her doctor and counsellor, but would welcome some additional perspectives. My kid and I, both neurodivergent, rely on apples as a major snack/food and when we counted up, we realised we each eat up to 12 apples a day. We also eat other veggies and fruit, but apples are eaten all day long. Should I gently be bringing this down? Our friends and family are taken aback by just how many we go through.
September 26
Am I the asshole for not texting my spouse the first day of a trip?
A family member had a significant birthday so I went out of town for four days. Lots of gatherings and distractions ensued. I did send a note and video to my spouse the second day and got a short message back. When I got home, I was chastised more than once because I didn’t let them know the first day that I’d arrived at my destination. Then it blew up. A lot. [more inside]
How to not give up on humanity during an election year?
During the last two presidential election years, there’s been a lot of Trump-y awfulness in my community. I did my best to help my kid make sense of what she saw each day, but sometimes I was too angry about what I’d seen to frame anything constructively for her. As 2024 approaches, I am worried that we have another ugly year ahead of us. What are your strategies for living through 2024 without losing faith in the humanity of those around you?
easy way to create shareable online wishlist?
There used to be a thing where you could add any link to a shareable "wishlist" just by clicking the extension while you were looking at a site you wanted to add. It deprecated long ago. Has anything replaced it? [more inside]
Dublin & Edinburgh for 10 days?
I'm thinking of going from the East Coast to Dublin then Edinburgh from mid- to late October. Would 10 days be enough for both cities? I've never been to either. I could go as long as 12 days. [more inside]
What to do in San Diego?
My parents and I are going to San Diego for a week in mid-November. What should we definitely not miss while we're there? [more inside]
Moisturizing sinuses - how exactly?
My nose runs constantly from September to May and I don't know why I have tolerated it this long. It's embarrassing in work meetings and just, like, in general life. Someone in another question recently said they were moisturizing their nasal passages / sinuses but there was no explanation how. [more inside]
What's fair and not fair to ask of my supervisor?
I am panicking over upcoming performance reviews, to the point that I even asked my boss to confirm that if they had concerns about my performance we would already be discussing them. It did not assuage my anxiety. I need help understanding what's reasonable to ask. [more inside]
Book recommendations 2023
It's (going to be) that time of year again, where I find gifts for people who already have everything. Recommend me some good nonfiction books from this year or last (but not too good, or they'd already own them). [more inside]
How do the 0.001% sleep?
I've been travelling for a month, and am desperate to sleep in my old, familiar bed under my old familiar sheets, not the too-firm mattress with the too-thick duvet and too-thin pillow that I'm sleeping on tonight. Which got me thinking; Bill Gates and the Pope travel a fair bit, is this a problem we share? [more inside]
Where do I get good quality plus size men's or unisex clothes in the UK?
At an affordable price? Also acceptable if it's somewhere that will ship to the UK for reasonable shipping fees. [more inside]
Does anyone have a Siser Juliet? Need some info on the power supply
Which part of the barrel is positive (inner or outer)? [more inside]
Issues storing kiln-dried, certified pest-free wood indoors?
I'm about to start heating exclusively using a woodstove in the Northeast US. I'm buying a face cord initially because I can't store much wood on the property. I'm planning to store half of that on an indoor rack. Any major issues? I know bugs are a problem with seasoned wood, but kiln-dried is another story, right?
Redflagging a sibling
My brother has come into possession of a pair of handguns. I'm extremely concerned that his temper and impulsivity will lead to a dangerous situation. How can I express this to him in a way that will make him re-think this decision to keep these guns in his home? [more inside]