October 23

Trauma work as a parent

I'm a parent, and I've got trauma that I am about to get some treatment for. What are your favorite tips for self-care and trauma work when someone is also a parent? [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato to Health & Fitness at 2:00 PM - 0 answers

UX design or web development...or neither? Both?

Recent insight into myself is leading me to pursue a career in some sort of design. My background is completely in science, data analysis, and coding. I thought web design would be a good option but I'm not sure which branch would be right for me. Lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by majesty_snowbird to Work & Money at 1:10 PM - 5 answers

How can I buy the Hitachi Magic Wand in bulk?

For an art project, I need a lot of (around 50) Hitachi Magic Wands. I have never bought anything like this in bulk before. I would prefer not to pay retail for each and every wand. I know there are bulk purchase minimums though. If necessary I could go up to 100 wands. To people who regularly buy items in bulk, what would you suggest I do in terms of acquiring these wands?
posted by Sully to Grab Bag at 1:01 PM - 7 answers

Is there a way I can get the HTML files of my ebooks?

I use the Spritzlet add-on for Chrome to read long form articles on the internet and it works really, really well for optimizing my reading time. Can the hive help me figure out how to access my e-books from Amazon in a format that I can read them via Spritz? [more inside]
posted by allkindsoftime to Computers & Internet at 12:52 PM - 5 answers

What are the best Japanese TV shows (not anime)and how can I watch them?

Bonus points for shows about people eating Japanese food [more inside]
posted by winterportage to Society & Culture at 12:02 PM - 7 answers

Body scrub without the full spa day?

I’d like to get a Korean body scrub, but don’t want to spend all day at a spa. Are there any places in NYC or Long Island that offer body scrubs completely a la carte?
posted by ocherdraco to Health & Fitness at 11:50 AM - 1 answer

Safe options for giving an indoor cat outdoor access

Landlords and reasonable people of Metafilter, would it be outrageous to request that our landlord allow us to install a fence like this in our yard? Obviously, we would pay for the fence, and would plan to have it removed when we move out. [more inside]
posted by whistle pig to Human Relations at 11:32 AM - 11 answers

Securely connect

Tell me about healthy, secure patterns of attachment early in relationships! Relatedly, how do you get beyond “burn it down and run away” impulses as somebody still healing from childhood trauma? [more inside]
posted by Sock Meets Body to Human Relations at 10:23 AM - 8 answers

How can you find out if you have an active warrant?

A relative of mine is moving back to our semi-rural hometown, and he wants to apply for a driver's license after years of living in a lare city where he exclusively used public transportation or ride-sharing. The issue is that he thinks he might have a warrant out in this state for failure to pay speeding tickets he got years ago before moving away. How can he find out if he has an active warrant? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris to Law & Government at 10:07 AM - 4 answers

Super Sensitive Soul Seeks 'Ssistance

I'm a super sensitive soul. I strongly dislike conflict, thinking about pain being inflicted on others, people being swindled, forgotten toys, sad looking puppies, and so forth. My sadness does not come from depression, it comes from being crazy empathetic and having the thinnest skin imaginable. How do I cope? [more inside]
posted by Elly Vortex to Human Relations at 9:00 AM - 27 answers

Career Advice For the Aging Creative

I’ve got the enviable problem of having a great job in a creative field in an industry/sport that I love for the last 15 years. I need to find something else, but, I’m having trouble leaving. Can it be my turn for some career advice? [more inside]
posted by trbrts to Work & Money at 8:21 AM - 1 answer

What questions help you with organizing and decluttering?

When you're decluttering, organizing, or prioritizing, what questions do you use? [more inside]
posted by kristi to Grab Bag at 7:38 AM - 27 answers

Name for a blog about rescue kitties

I am starting a blog about my kittens that I adopted from a local cat rescue organization. I need a fantastic name for said blog. [more inside]
posted by PuppetMcSockerson to Pets & Animals at 6:49 AM - 10 answers

Tips for preparing the ground for low-pain rejection

I'm a man who dates women (late-20s to mid-30s), exclusively through apps. Like everyone else, I dislike being on either side of a rejection. I can handle my own disappointment. How, though, can I be better at being the rejector? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Human Relations at 6:02 AM - 19 answers

Cancer second opinions via telemedicine

This question is not seeking medical advice, but information about the medical system. YANMD, etc. A relative of mine was recently diagnosed with a kind of uterine cancer that has a poor prognosis. She is having surgery soon with a doctor she feels good about, who has a lot of experience with hysterectomies if not with the cancer in question, but would like a second opinion from an academic medical center that has more experience with her specific cancer. However, she is unwilling to travel to get it (I’m not sure why - perhaps just logistics due to her imminent surgery). She asked me to call my local academic center on her behalf and ask whether they do telemedicine for this, and I was not too surprised to hear a no. Does any cancer center do telemedicine for second opinions? Assume insurance is not a major issue (Medicare + broad supplemental is available and the patient is likely able to pay some out of pocket also).
posted by anonymous to Grab Bag at 6:02 AM - 10 answers

There's got to be a better way to wrangle multiple displays in 2018...

Tools and tips for managing multi monitor madness please. [more inside]
posted by pipeski to Computers & Internet at 5:03 AM - 3 answers

Help me find some boots that don't wear out in 6 months

I often find that my shoes/boots wear out really fast at the heel. Looking for recommendations for brands/specific boots that will last a while. [more inside]
posted by hibbersk to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 4:44 AM - 11 answers

October 22

Help me prepare for my trip to Bangkok

I will be traveling to Bangkok from October 29-November 6. I'd like to enroll in STEP and put in a travel notice with my bank (Bank of America) but my uncertainty over my cell phone situation (they both want me to give them a number and I'd been thinking about picking up a temporary SIM card at the airport) have given me pause. My main concern at this point is what I should do about this phone situation (my phone is an unlocked Galaxy Note 9 by the way). [more inside]
posted by bookman117 to Travel & Transportation at 10:53 PM - 13 answers

How to check citations from newspapers over the Internet

I am publishing a nonfiction book, and the citations need to be checked. I know that many newspapers have online archives, but are there other ways to check citations via the Internet? [more inside]
posted by Surprised By Bees to Computers & Internet at 10:23 PM - 6 answers

House rules for board games

What are the home rules you have for children's board/card games that make them ever so much more delightful? [more inside]
posted by hapaxes.legomenon to Human Relations at 7:27 PM - 45 answers

Interview tips for a job as a scientific technical editor?

I'm interviewing (first by phone) for a scientific editor position with a state climate science institute that collaborates with government agencies. I really want to be as prepared as possible for this interview, and any that might follow. [more inside]
posted by Jennifer S. to Science & Nature at 6:38 PM - 5 answers

Article about regrowth on a British farm

I read an article maybe a year or two back about a couple/family in England (or possibly elsewhere in the UK but I think England) who purchased a farm (?) and then let it just...grow. And now I can't find it. [more inside]
posted by annabear to Science & Nature at 6:35 PM - 5 answers

Looking for the unicorn of beverage coolers/mini fridges

I’m looking for a beverage cooler to go under our stairs, and Google/Amazon seem to bring me the same narrow results again and again. Two ideal qualities are capacity, and the ability to keep things like liquor and martini glasses truly cold while keeping beer and soda appropriately chilled. (But it doesn’t have to be cold enough to maintain solid ice.) Short of those ideals, I’m looking for the most reliable and most efficient unit. [more inside]
posted by blueshammer to Home & Garden at 6:01 PM - 2 answers

Help Me Curtain a Bathroom Window

I have a window in my small downstairs half-bathroom. Here it is along with the disgusting curtains that came with the house. I need to block the view. A bottom half-curtain would be sufficient, but I think a two piece might look better. FWIW it's an old house, a Sears kit Dutch Colonial, so I don't want to go real modern. [more inside]
posted by Quisp Lover to Home & Garden at 4:32 PM - 17 answers

Curses, banes, and maledictions

My iPhone and iPad updated and now my PDFs are missing out of iBooks. Dammit. Is there anyway to get them back? The most recent ones will not be in the backup on my computer [more inside]
posted by SLC Mom to Computers & Internet at 4:11 PM - 5 answers

Yucky Bug ID #956968 - seriously yucky. Trigger warning.

This disgusting bug looks like a cockroach and a praying mantis had babies. Double yuck. It's about 1.25 to 1.5 inches long. Video. I'm talking about the owner of the antennae, who comes in after about 7 seconds, not the mouse looking on in disgust or the ants. I'm too disgusted to look at a bunch of pictures of gross bugs on google to find it. Hopefully some of you aren't grossed out by bugs!
posted by bluesky78987 to Home & Garden at 3:38 PM - 10 answers

how do i soundproof this railroad room

I just moved into a room with a door connecting to another bedroom. I can hear pretty much everything my roommate does. How do I DIY soundproof this thing for as cheap as possible? [more inside]
posted by there will be glitter to Home & Garden at 3:05 PM - 13 answers

Young kid obsessed with depictions of sexualized violence in Star Wars

What's the latest child development literature on talking to young children about cultural depictions of sexualized violence? I know MeFites are smarter than average and great parents, but I'm not looking for personal anecdotes about how you handled a similar situation, or that sort of thing. I'm hoping MeFites with some background in psychology, child development, or related fields can point me to recent research on this topic. [more inside]
posted by univac to Society & Culture at 2:30 PM - 4 answers

No More Trucks

I have just been honored with an invitation to a young man's third birthday party next week. I would love to bring a fun present but his home is severely limited in space. [more inside]
posted by Mizu to Shopping at 2:04 PM - 28 answers

My therapist is being weird about receipts

My therapist won't put a procedure code on their itemized bill. My insurance company won't reimburse without a procedure code. What to do? [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone to Work & Money at 1:42 PM - 28 answers

Making new friends, for shy introverts

How do you make new friends when you freeze up every time you're in a group situation? [more inside]
posted by silverandlilac to Human Relations at 1:32 PM - 10 answers

Is there a UPS suitable for fish tank filter that restarts automatically

I have an old Tripp Lite UPS into which I have my aquarium filter plugged. It has worked well for many years, but it no longer has the longevity we need for our sometimes-long power outages in the Colorado Rockies. [more inside]
posted by Don_K to Home & Garden at 1:15 PM - 7 answers

Why is voting so complicated? Please help me (California)

Can I change my DMV address today, use it to get a mail-in ballot today, and then change my address back after? [more inside]
posted by yueliang to Law & Government at 12:44 PM - 6 answers

Is my free-and-clear laundry detergent OK for baby?

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the baby anxiety has already begun! I've started getting some clothing and I'm worried about our laundry detergent. I keep seeing recommendations for special baby detergent. We exclusively use "free and clear" detergents. Current detergent is All's Free & Clear, but sometimes we get the Costco or BJ's house brand. Is this OK for baby clothes? [more inside]
posted by ancient star to Home & Garden at 10:51 AM - 22 answers

Unusual symbol on barge cranes

There are cranes on barges working alongside the Bay Bridge; the cranes each have some kind of metal symbol on the top of them, behind the gantry. Here is my very crude illustration of what I'm talking about. What is that symbol/sign thing? NB: It's a little smaller than is represented in my drawing, but definitely circle-diamond-circle, and flat black in coloring.
posted by salt grass to Grab Bag at 10:27 AM - 2 answers


Let's say I want to host my own website for my family photos, blog, backup storage, and also run a personal e-mail server as well. How would I go about this, maybe using AWS free tier?
posted by the man of twists and turns to Computers & Internet at 10:03 AM - 18 answers

Can I eat this not-so-firm tofu?

Package of Nasoya extra firm organic tofu. Not firm when opened: squishy and sticky and soft, more like scrambled eggs. Expiration date was October 17. Safe to stir-fry and eat? I never use anything but extra firm, so I don't know if this texture is just firmness error or a sign that this is not good eatin'.
posted by HeroZero to Food & Drink at 9:26 AM - 18 answers

Mouse with pressure sensitive buttons?

Are there any mice with a pressure sensitive button? In Photoshop there are settings for changing brush size based on pressure. I know that tablets are pressure sensitive, but I don't like using tablets.
posted by gregr to Computers & Internet at 9:00 AM - 7 answers

Online photo contest help help help

I need an online service that will enable me to run a photo contest that is NOT tied to a particular social media and does not require an account. Private, global but a few hundred less than 1000 participants. [more inside]
posted by phunniemee to Technology at 8:36 AM - 4 answers

luggage filter: travel backpack v.s. duffle v.s. something else?

I am getting ready for a bunch of 3-5 day, carry-on only, smart casual trips. I'm considering upgrading/changing how I carry things. I'd love to hear what AskMeFi has to say! [more inside]
posted by redwaterman to Shopping at 8:22 AM - 20 answers

Painting name opinions?

I painted a camel painting and named it Camelflage. It is the best of names. I painted a second camel painting. It needs a good name too, even if nothing can quite compare to the majesty of the first name. [more inside]
posted by vegartanipla to Grab Bag at 8:04 AM - 40 answers

Optimizing the traffic

How would you handle these traffic lanes on my commute? It’s a bridge with three lanes. Starting, it’s one left and two rights. The one left then becomes two lefts. I need to turn left. It’s a very short light. When I start out on the far left, I’m stuck on the bridge for 30-40 minutes, at a crawl. [more inside]
posted by inevitability to Grab Bag at 7:45 AM - 12 answers

Techniques journalists use to find unique angles on stories?

What are some of the techniques which journalists use to find unique angles on stories? [more inside]
posted by jacobean to Writing & Language at 6:49 AM - 8 answers

Grants for individual artists

I’m working on an EP and I’ve applied for grants from the Awesome Foundation and the Club 57 fund. What are some other organizations that offer grants to individual artists who might not have a 501c3? (I live in Massachusetts and I missed the deadline for the LCC grants.)
posted by pxe2000 to Work & Money at 6:39 AM - 2 answers

Non-Stretchy Thin Wire?

I need to re-string my chitarra per pasta, a traditional noodle-cutting device from Abruzzo (looks like this) used to make spaghetti alla chitarra. The issue is that the wire needs to be thin in order to have good cutting properties, but it shouldn't be too stretchy or it will bend under the weight of the rolling pin rather than cutting through the dough. I don't have enough knowledge of the correct terminology or the differences between metals used in wire to figure out how to get that I want.
posted by slkinsey to Food & Drink at 6:31 AM - 9 answers

Where do you find fabrics to fall in love with?

For once, I'd like to actually fall in love with a fabric and then come up with something to make with it, rather than getting an idea for a garment and never actually finding anything I want to make it with. [more inside]
posted by cilantro to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 6:12 AM - 9 answers

Hair 101 curriculum recs?

I have no idea how to do anything with/to my hair. I use zero products (except shampoo) and zero styling techniques. I have very fine, very thin, shoulder-length straight hair (with a few gray hairs throughout) that doesn't hold curls for very long. I also don't have the vocabulary to look for things I'd like to try. What are some websites that would teach me, step-by-step, how to do something with my hair that isn't a haircut? (I'm an almost-40 woman, with a full-time job, a house, mortgage and two kids, so I'm looking for the holy trifecta of: cheap, fast and practical.) [more inside]
posted by gakiko to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 1:09 AM - 26 answers

Last minute tickets to Harry Potter Tour in London?

My girlfriend and i will be in London between Oct 24 and Oct 30. She wants to go on the Harry Potter WB studio tour for her birthday, but it turns out that their tickets are sold out into 2019. Is there any way to source a pair of tickets?
posted by duende to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 1:01 AM - 6 answers

October 21

NYC optometrist

Professionals of NYC, where do you go for grown-people eyeglass frames? [more inside]
posted by praemunire to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:41 PM - 19 answers

Ethically making money from a hobby that's other people's full time job

I'm a potter. It's a hobby, but I'm good enough at it to sell my work for non-negligible money. How do I do this without stepping on the toes of the many people I know who do it for a living? [more inside]
posted by centrifugal to Media & Arts at 10:08 PM - 13 answers

Best homemade or cheapo beauty and skin care products?

I’ve spent the last few years getting into skin and haircare to treat issues I thought were untreatable. Naturally I’ve bought a lot of products, some of which work, but I have no way of currently knowing if they’re expensive because they work (i.e., high concentrates of some relatively expensive material) or just because they’re luxury products selling a lifestyle. Help me with your best, they really work, cheap (drugstore?) or homemade skin and hair products. [more inside]
posted by stoneandstar to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 9:06 PM - 16 answers

You Don't Have To Keep Telling Me That, Do You?

My Aunt is dying of cancer, my dad keeps reminding me. Is this necessary? Am I being overly sensitive? Details follow. [more inside]
posted by WalkerWestridge to Human Relations at 8:48 PM - 15 answers

Tesla owners: is it foolish to drive regular 300+ mile road trips?

I have a 20 mile round trip work commute, but take 2 road trips each month that are 300 miles there and 300 miles back (staying overnight). Is it crazy to think that I could buy a Model 3 and make that trip a "normal" one with a stop halfway to charge and an overnight charge near the hotel? Should I give up the dream and get a PHEV that will handle my daily commute all-electric but be a regular old hybrid road-trip?
posted by AgentRocket to Travel & Transportation at 7:39 PM - 9 answers

Anxiety about moving, commuting, and working in San Francisco Bay Area

I'm moving to San Francisco Bay Area in the very near future. I have a job offer already, but the location, commute, work environment, etc. are making me very anxious. Do I live in an area that I don't like for a shorter commute or do I live in an area I do like and deal with a longer commute? [more inside]
posted by Thirty7Degrees to Work & Money at 5:21 PM - 24 answers

Please help me find another connector...thing.

I had this thingy, which I could use to connect my phone to either a plugged in charger "base" thing or directly to my laptop, even. Unfortunately, the one I have now is broken. What is this called, and where can I buy another one?
posted by KChasm to Computers & Internet at 4:57 PM - 7 answers

Using someone else's debit card with their permission.

I was given a debit card the other day to use for large withdrawals. [more inside]
posted by fantasticness to Work & Money at 4:51 PM - 12 answers

peak leaf

Hi! I'm trying to figure out the best way for a handful of adults and one baby to peep some gorgeous fall foliage this coming Saturday, starting from NYC and proceeding down to some lower part of NJ where, per this map, the foliage should be "peak." But I've never done such a trip! Wondering if any local mefites can suggest a good way to go about it - is there a good destination we should choose? A train that winds its way through some particularly nice views? Any and all suggestions deeply appreciated!
posted by prefpara to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 3:14 PM - 10 answers

Terrified about Brexit. Is there anything practical I can do?

I am terrified about what will happen to me (and my family and friends, but I'm going to keep this question on the selfish side) after Brexit. The big fear is medicines - I rely on four different ones to keep me well. Lack of food and other essentials are obviously there as other worries, as well as longer-term issues about the economy, employment and so on. This is not irrational fear. Is there anything practical I can do, as much to deal with my fear as anything else? [more inside]
posted by Vortisaur to Grab Bag at 3:13 PM - 5 answers

It was my bad, I really am sorry, and...how do I fix it?

I agreed to write an article for an academic journal's special issue. The article was due four months ago. I was told that all the other articles were in already. I am (and have been) about half way done. There's been no communications from the editor or special issue convenor. I am not sure what's going on and am drowning in guilt. Anyone advice or perspectives would be helpful! [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Grab Bag at 3:01 PM - 8 answers

Salt Lake City to Monument Valley

I am going to be in Salt Lake City around the 7-11th November. I am busy on the 9th but free after than and can extend my stay a few days either side. I would really like to see Monument Valley, AZ. Is this possible? What would be the best way to do it, bearing in mind I don't drive? [more inside]
posted by biffa to Travel & Transportation at 2:44 PM - 5 answers