May 23

I've never used my Macbook Pro's Screen

I always used to travel with my laptop, docking it at home with a big monitor and good keyboard. But I've never undocked this one, due to 1. increasing iPad power, and 2. new work patterns. I should switch to Mac Mini (or, once external monitor dies, iMac). But I'm scared! [more inside]
posted by Quisp Lover to Computers & Internet at 8:12 AM - 6 answers

Supporting my kid who is starting bilingual K in the fall.

My city offers an amazing two way bilingual K-8 program. My daughter got a slot. We are delighted but also nervous. She is a super verbal, not very physically adept (comes by that honestly...sorry kid!), English speaker. Most of the other students are native Spanish speakers or bilingual. Neither myself, nor my husband speak any Spanish. I have some ideas for how to help her prepare/feel confident over the summer, but would love other tips. [more inside]
posted by jeszac to Education at 6:57 AM - 25 answers

Seeking a visual calendar of perennial bloom times

I'm looking for a visual calendar, that is photos in chronological order, of what blooms each month in my zone (zone 5/6). Like an Instagram feed or calendar populated with images at the general bloom time of all the plants I might reasonably grow in my area. [more inside]
posted by cocoagirl to Home & Garden at 6:55 AM - 5 answers

where can I buy very large containers of toothpaste?

I buy cooking oil 32 lbs at a time. I buy soap a gallon at a time. Why do I have to buy toothpaste 6oz at a time? Where can I get toothpaste in larger containers? Is there a reason toothpaste doesn't come in larger containers? Searching for "bulk toothpaste" gets me many-packs of tiny toothpaste; searching for "giant toothpaste" gets me a foaming chemistry demonstration.
posted by meaty shoe puppet to Shopping at 6:49 AM - 16 answers

Getting the most out of Amazon Prime

I’ve had Amazon Prime for years and really only use it for the shipping. I am completely confused by the non-shipping benefits of my Prime membership. Can you help me sort it all out? [more inside]
posted by Admiral Haddock to Shopping at 6:13 AM - 20 answers

Crosswords as game mechanic

Are there any games (primarily video/digital games but I'm open to all kinds of suggestions) that involve crosswords as part of a larger game and/or as a game mechanic?
posted by divabat to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 6:05 AM - 6 answers

Managing chronic insomnia

I've been struggling with sleep-maintenance insomnia for two weeks. Previously I've had bouts of insomnia when under stress, but usually one night of poor sleep was followed by one of good sleep. Now it's a long run of bad nights, and I'm feeling the effects (poor concentration and impulse control, vertigo, rumination, despair). I can recognize these feelings as essentially biological, and that takes some of their sting away, but I've still gotta get through the day. What tricks do you have for managing difficult emotions and staying productive when sleep is elusive?
posted by eirias to Health & Fitness at 12:45 AM - 25 answers

May 22

One week meals for one

I love the kitchn's weekly meal plans for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I live alone. Are there other meal plans like their "How I Prep a Week of Easy, Satisfying Meals for One"? I'll list the features I like inside. [more inside]
posted by sockermom to Food & Drink at 8:30 PM - 10 answers

Does this mean I need to get a haircut?

I was told that the next job I want to get will be looking for someone polished. I am not polished. Can I polish cheaply, quickly and regularly? [more inside]
posted by Toddles to Work & Money at 8:24 PM - 51 answers

Can't give 2 weeks notice - should I worry?

I need to leave with only 1 week notice because of my new job's start date. [more inside]
posted by winterportage to Work & Money at 6:22 PM - 12 answers

My online group went from Metafilter-esque to Reddit. Help?

5 years ago I founded an online group, then watched it grow and moderated things. Mostly it was a source of useful information and cameraderie, but somehow in the last few months it reached a tipping point where the bad now outweighs the good. I'm considering shutting it down. Help me think through that decision. [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa to Human Relations at 6:06 PM - 29 answers

Managing anxious attachment style while dating

I'm working on changing my attachment style from anxious to secure. In the meantime, what are some strategy or techniques I could use to manage my anxious attachment? Those who are anxiously attached, please share your stories, advice, or tips! Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by postmortemsalmon to Human Relations at 6:03 PM - 10 answers

I want paint or ink that runs.

I have an idea for an art project that I’d like to do. In short, I want to write some stuff on paper, put the paper in a mason jar, and then have the pigment of what I write dissolve into the water. It doesn’t have to be all the way, it’s fine if some words here and there are legible, but I’d really like the water to take on color. What is the best paper and paint or ink to do this? I asked at the store today and they recommended watercolor pencils, which aren’t having the effect I was going for, though maybe it just needs to soak longer? Thanks!
posted by emkelley to Media & Arts at 5:16 PM - 12 answers

I need a new bluetooth headset for work

Starting a new job, and I need a new bluetooth headset for work. My current one (which they are making me hand back) is the Plantronics Voyager UC, which is great. But I'm not sure if I can get something equivalent for cheaper as it's an expensive headset - any idea Mefi? Must be stereo (ie a speaker for each ear) and wireless, as I spend a lot of time in teleconferences,would prefer something over-ear, rather than in-ear.
posted by smoke to Shopping at 5:00 PM - 3 answers

Alternative to Paychex for small business payroll?

I have a small business with 3 employees and currently use Paychex for payroll. They are totally fine - which is, to say, the people get their money on-time and so forth - except for one thing: I receive a constant barrage of marketing emails and phone calls from Paychex offering me upgrades and upsells to other services. These annoy me because I have trouble ignoring emails from the company that literally puts the money in my employees' bank accounts. But... is that how they all work? [more inside]
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly to Work & Money at 4:06 PM - 9 answers

Jigsaw puzzle question, 60s versions?

Back in the late 50s and 60s, we used to do a lot of jigsaw puzzles. Generally they were strip cut (rows of pieces horizontally and vertically), but unlike modern puzzles the pieces weren't fully interlocking. Lots of them had one, two, more rarely three, and rarely all four sides "wavy", that fit up against other such wavy pieces. It not only provided more variety than today's fully interlocking pieces (with all four sides locking), but it made it a little easier to make the puzzle because you could identify differences more easily. I've looked at a lot of modern puzzles and anything that's strip cut has fully interlocking pieces, all four sides being either tab or slot. [more inside]
posted by Tom Blees to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 3:03 PM - 6 answers

What does PowerShare mean in the context of a Dell dock?

The Dell D6000 dock is marketed as having "3 x SuperSpeed USB 3.0" and "1 x SuperSpeed USB 3.0 with PowerShare". As far as I can tell, all four of these USB Type A ports are exactly the same. Dell Technical Support was no help. Does anyone have any idea how they might differ? [more inside]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 to Computers & Internet at 2:41 PM - 10 answers

/, /home, boot, swap, ???, profit!

Linux partitioning, distro selection, etc. Please help me beanplate my desktop computer. [more inside]
posted by number9dream to Computers & Internet at 1:04 PM - 17 answers

Best, effective, SAFE flea treatments for dogs and cats?

If you are also a teeny bit paranoid about this stuff and have researched current medications, please save me hours of searching about this online (once again): I need to treat the cat and the dog (separately of course). I'd like to use spot-on type treatments, and I've spent a long long long time each time I've done this in the past to search out what was effective but had the fewest reports of negative reactions. The current flea status is ... [more inside]
posted by taz to Pets & Animals at 12:56 PM - 15 answers

Where is all the new money universities charge going?

In 1960 a semester at Harvard cost $11,000 in consistent dollars. Today a semester at Harvard costs $50,000. An increase of 4.5 times. Where is that extra money going? [more inside]
posted by sotonohito to Education at 12:07 PM - 65 answers

What's the current state of music streaming services in 2019?

I'm looking for a service that can algorithmically create and download playlists and automatically update when connected to WiFi. [more inside]
posted by mikek to Computers & Internet at 9:26 AM - 7 answers

Recommend a fantasy novel?

Becoming a bit bored with all the sci-fi - can someone recommend a fantasy novel? (Specific interests inside) [more inside]
posted by UMDirector to Media & Arts at 9:25 AM - 50 answers

What’s the best way to find an out-of-print ebook?

Rebecca Moore self-published her novel Lunch in Brooklyn in 2013, but it has apparently gone out of print. None of the links to online retailers (Amazon and the iTunes bookstore) still list it for sale, and Moore seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. (Her blog, Twitter, and Facebook were last updated in 2018.) Are there other ways I can access an ebook that’s fallen out of print?
posted by pxe2000 to Media & Arts at 9:13 AM - 4 answers

What outdoor cooking appliance should I get?

My kitchen unfortunately doesn't have a way to vent smoke/cooking odors [no range hood], so I've been avoiding the range and just using the oven. However, I have a backyard where I could cook and extend my options. A lot of outdoor cooking equipment seems optimized for camping (no access to electricity, lightweight), which are not constraints I have. I'm just looking for an easy, cheap range substitute. Should I get a portable burner or something else? [more inside]
posted by estlin to Home & Garden at 8:52 AM - 13 answers

Where should we vacation? (Western US Edition)

We live on the East Coast and have to be in Indianapolis in early October for a wedding. I'm thinking we should keep on going west after the wedding and spend a week somewhere. But where? [more inside]
posted by COD to Travel & Transportation at 8:51 AM - 16 answers

Cambridgefilter: Aggressively specific restaurant recommendations needed

Does anyone have a recommendation for a restaurant in Harvard Square that would have dinner options for an omnivore, an omnivore on a low FODMAP diet, and a vegetarian who's allergic to peppers? [more inside]
posted by quatsch to Food & Drink at 8:35 AM - 10 answers

how to be more chill

I am always the social initiator in my friend groups and among 1-to-1 friendships. 80% of the time I don't mind this but the other 20% I wonder if people would bother organising to meet up if I didn't, and what that says for the quality of my relationships. Do I need to scale back on initiating / "be more chill"? When do I know that it's time to take a step back? [more inside]
posted by unicorn chaser to Human Relations at 8:23 AM - 17 answers

Is this shirt message friendly or potentially [accidentally] snarky?

I would like to sport a queer-positive tee for upcoming Pride, and also just generally to wear. I like this shirt and I like supporting HRC. But as a cis nonqueer person, I am teeny bit worried that me wearing this message might make the tone read as condescending or -- I don't know. You know? What do you think?
posted by Ink-stained wretch to Society & Culture at 8:13 AM - 29 answers

Best stick and tiny vacuums for my purposes

I would like to buy a stick vacuum to vacuum the kitchen floor and a tiny vacuum to vacuum up cat litter. I am at a loss as to which ones. [more inside]
posted by Frowner to Home & Garden at 8:00 AM - 13 answers

What's the term for this kind of picture?

I am looking for the term used to describe an image that uses the details of a scene to create a second image. For example, a painting of a forest where the details of the trees, shadow, landscape, etc, create the image of someone's face. I would provide examples, but I am at a loss as to what to search for.
posted by cirgue to Media & Arts at 6:37 AM - 25 answers

What are your favourite laments?

I am looking for laments, in any format. Musical laments, of course, like those in the Celtic music tradition are the obvious answer. But I'd like them in any and every genre - poetry, quotation, art. Short, long, anything that breaks your heart. A good lament is stirring and gives you hope while also delineating the long-term futility of anything but acceptance. Have you got anything for me? [more inside]
posted by Jane the Brown to Media & Arts at 5:41 AM - 57 answers

Help me to Slack ...

I've started getting a few invites to Slack channels, based around professional interests, but not necessarily company specific. I can definitely see the upsides here. But, the etiquette is unknown to me, and particularly, I was wondering: Is it okay to join channels and just be quiet a lot, or should I be upping my communication game a bit here, and taking advantage of what Slack-based interaction could offer? [more inside]
posted by carter to Computers & Internet at 4:39 AM - 9 answers

Contingency Estate Attorney in NYC

Can you help me locate an honest and very aggressive nyc-based contingency estate lawyer who will take on (hire through his/her own links) a case in the Granite State?* [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Law & Government at 1:49 AM - 9 answers

My brain and my ovaries are conspiring against me

I'm looking for psychiatrist recommendations in the SF Bay Area (East Bay/SF preferred) who has an a understanding of/experience with hormonal mood changes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness at 1:49 AM - 1 answer

Help me help him

Is there any hope in helping someone get help for mental health issues when they don't see it themselves? (bonus: he is also deep into conspiracy theories) [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness at 1:49 AM - 15 answers

May 21

Splitting Up Maternity Leave

We are fortunate enough to be able to take 4 months (me) + 3 months (dad) of a combo of paid and unpaid parental leave for our first child, and are trying to figure out how to split it up. A key consideration is that the most important 5 months of my year at work will come right after the due date. I’m considering splitting up my maternity leave to take 6 weeks at the birth, then dad take 10 weeks, and then I take my remaining leave - will it work? [more inside]
posted by purplevelvet to Human Relations at 10:51 PM - 18 answers

[Generic Gourmet Cola] is It!!!

I like cola but I don't like buying it ready-made, for many reasons. I am having a hard time making a syrup that tastes right. Can you recommend a ready-made syrup or, ideally, a recipe, for a very spicy, rich, old-fashioned-tasting cola? The goal here is not to make Coke, but to make something better.
posted by blnkfrnk to Food & Drink at 7:04 PM - 11 answers

Where else can I find pants like this?

I am looking for pants like these. Pretty much exactly like these, in black or dark grey (colorful inserts optional) only not sold out in sizes small or medium. I loathe "stretch" materials and am very much seeking to avoid them, which makes this search that much harder. However, MeFites always know great websites for unusual items, so I thought I'd ask here. Thanks in advance.
posted by Crystal Fox to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 5:52 PM - 6 answers

Bike tour Alaska's Inside Passage by ferry?

What is the best itinerary for a week touring Alaska's inside Passage by bike and ferry with a Skagway departure? I'm flexible on where to go, other than I've already been to Haines and Juneau so would like to explore some new places. [more inside]
posted by bighappyhairydog to Travel & Transportation at 3:19 PM - 6 answers

What was this fantasy book about fixing the sun?

This book was probably more in the YA range. I definitely read it before 2002 but it could be much older, maybe from the 80s. It involved a quest by an elf-like person to fix the dimming sun. [more inside]
posted by DSime to Media & Arts at 2:44 PM - 4 answers

Driving around the DMV?

Some questions about getting honked at while driving in the USA, specifically in the DMV area inside. [more inside]
posted by gadha to Grab Bag at 2:38 PM - 37 answers

Help me use my HRA quickly, please

I just found out I have $2750 in a Health Reimbursement Account that will disappear at the end of the month. (My job ended 5/3, my benefits are through May 30.) I'm (thankfully) healthy, but want to take advantage of these funds, which go towards anything not covered by my $6500 deductible. I do have bad knees that I've been ignoring, and maybe something cosmetic? Anything I could pre-pay? Thanks for any suggestions!
posted by 2soxy4mypuppet to Health & Fitness at 1:50 PM - 23 answers

health insurance from a (soon to be divorced from) spouse

it's getting uglier by the day. my wife an I had a spat today and she told me she's dropping me from her health insurance policy. can she do this before we are divorced? [more inside]
posted by terrier319 to Human Relations at 1:24 PM - 8 answers

where to find thin metal sheets that will attract magnets

I'm looking for metal that is really thin... maybe no more than 2-3 pieces of paper in thickness that is magnetic. [more inside]
posted by fantasticness to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 1:16 PM - 13 answers

Objective opinions of one's singing?

Simple question. If you have a fairly good idea you're a decent singer, but you need to make sure, where can you get some objective opinions? [more inside]
posted by kitcat to Media & Arts at 12:37 PM - 15 answers

We have a deer in backyard with new fawns. Leave the gate open or not?

There is a deer with baby fawns in our back garden. Sometimes the fawns get shutout of the garden near a road / separated from their mum. Should we just leave gates open to prevent this, or take active measures to discourage them entirely? [more inside]
posted by inflatablekiwi to Pets & Animals at 11:19 AM - 16 answers

slip-ons / clogs / slippers for achilles tendon support?

First thing in the morning I have achilles tendon stiffness and pain at the back of my ankles, just above my heels (like where an ankle bracelet would rest) ; it quickly abates as I walk around a bit, but I don't want it to get worse. Dr. Google says it's probably (encroaching? mild?) Achilles Tendonitis, and I need better slippers / home shoes to provide support. Looking for suggestions if you have experienced similar (and particularly wondering if Birkenstock Amsterdam Clogs would provide the necessary). [more inside]
posted by taz to Shopping at 11:00 AM - 17 answers

Is this a thing? Japanese Business Gift Question

I work for a multinational corporation. Today I received a piece of mail from our Tokyo office containing a small Japanese fan and a mint-condition American ten dollar bill. No note, no name on the return address. It was addressed to me personally. [more inside]
posted by something something to Grab Bag at 11:00 AM - 4 answers

Men's jeans now that Costco has discontinued their Kirkland brand

I loved the Costco brand jeans and had a number of pairs through out the years. They were in my larger size, comfortable, and durable, plus I liked the cut and fit. Unfortunately they seem to have been discontinued and I'm looking to replace some of my older pairs that have worn out. [more inside]
posted by Carillon to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:46 AM - 7 answers

Barring therapy, how do you isolate your family issues into one question

Short version: Mother-in-law needs money to pay property tax. We want to know why the daughter who has lived with her for 20 years is not paying the property tax. The challenge is how to keep emotions/reason in check and not destroy family relations. More below the fold. [more inside]
posted by turtlefu to Human Relations at 10:39 AM - 18 answers

How to regularly remove malware from website?

I installed Wordfence on my Wordpress website (free, not paid yet). Am I supposed to just delete the files they say are bad? [more inside]
posted by Vaike to Computers & Internet at 10:23 AM - 2 answers

Buying time to sort things out

I think my mental health problems are making it hard to get a job. I am running out of money. Where can I go to start getting mental health treatment on Medicaid? Is there any other kind of assistance I can apply for while I'm sorting everything out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 10:18 AM - 6 answers

I need examples of local government machines losing to outsiders

I am wondering if there is a recipe for city machines losing to non-insiders. Like a city needs X conditions to be happening (perhaps scandal or incompetence) combined with Y candidate (charisma, name recognition, media favorability, money?). Examples, case studies, websites, books, all would be great. [more inside]
posted by imabanana to Law & Government at 10:15 AM - 8 answers

I don’t play video games, but now I wish I did. Video game-like learning

Hope me research how to improve the usability of a library discovery service! While we can create tutorials and provide library instruction, we have found that ‘just in time’ help is better than ‘just in case.’ No one wants to read a manual to do find sources for their paper. My ideal is to provide context-aware suggestions and tips analogous to how video games teach new users how to play. But, I also need to make these instructions easy to bypass for those that don’t need it and/or are annoyed by it. [more inside]
posted by BeBoth to Education at 9:36 AM - 7 answers

Suggestions for organizational "open after my death" boxes?

I work in a small organization whose director recently died suddenly and completely unexpectedly at a relatively young age. He didn't have an administrative assistant, so we'll be facing the task of figuring out how he organized his files and digital resources, and how he handled all of the things he handled. It's underlining our lack of a good organizational system whereby all employees document everything that would be necessary for someone to step into their role and handle their tasks, and stores the documentation where people can find it. [more inside]
posted by Creosote to Work & Money at 9:29 AM - 6 answers

How do I make this font work on my PC?

I having trouble getting a font I want to show up in applications on my PC. [more inside]
posted by Biblio to Computers & Internet at 8:01 AM - 3 answers

Going to Bogota, where to stay?

In November I will be spending 2-3 weeks in Bogota, Colombia. I'm looking for suggestions for neighborhoods and specific places to stay. [more inside]
posted by Pineapplicious to Travel & Transportation at 6:46 AM - 5 answers

Dating: separated with alcoholic parent. Aiming for the healthy version.

Thinking with me would be much appreciated! People who’ve been in a relationship after separation, or have had an alcoholic parent, or have tried to choose a better partner after making not great/bad choices in the past, who've made changes for the healthier in relationships and anyone who has a sharp eye for good choices! I’ve made bad relationship choices before, where I put way more energy in and didn't keep my eyes open. Partners had under-the-surface untreated psychiatric problems that they didn’t know of or were in denial about, or simply did want a relationship at all. I’ve grown up in an abusive household, where one parent for a time had a problem with alcohol. I've lived and learned, trying to be careful. [more inside]
posted by Litehouse to Human Relations at 5:52 AM - 34 answers

Do I need a lawyer for an e-verify I9?

I got flagged for a "needs further action" on an I9. I'm an American, no dual citizenship. The employer was vague, or probably didn't know, as to what flagged it. I've never had this happen before. Is there something besides a typo that could have flagged it that I need to be aware of? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Work & Money at 12:39 AM - 9 answers

How to handle the shiva issue when you’re not observant...

My father is a fairly observant Conservative Jew. I am culturally Jewish, but an atheist and not observant. When he passes away, I do not intend to sit shiva (or, by extension, host it). What are my options for remaining respectful of his beliefs without doing something with which I’m uncomfortable? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Religion & Philosophy at 12:39 AM - 12 answers