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I lose my voice when anxious but just had an experience of losing it when overtaken by awe. Quick summary: I went to a singing recital of a graduating student because they were singing songs celebrating my ethnicity (in language my grandmother spoke). The performance was amazing and very meaningful to me (lots of crying). It was a small recital room and I did briefly notice the singer was attractive, but didn't obsess about it. Then... [more inside]
posted by Jon44 at 7:41 PM - 15 answers

I have a younger step-sibling who has expressed interest in travel this year, and I want to support that as part of my birthday gift to them. There are no specific plans yet, and they life far away from me, so I wasn't sure how to best do this. Does anyone have good ideas for how to gift funds for travel? [more inside]
posted by JZig at 9:19 PM - 8 answers

I'm reaching out to find support and possibly connect with others who identify with lifelong monogamy after their relationship has ended. I was deeply committed to my first and only partner for 20 years, and despite their departure and another two decades passing, I cannot envision forming a similar bond with someone else. I am not seeking advice to change this aspect of myself but hope to find resources and understanding for this kind of emotional and romantic orientation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:44 PM - 20 answers

This is hard to type, anonymous for obvious reasons. I'm almost 60. Both of my parents are finally dead ... my mom for 7 years (Alzheimer's) and my dad a few months ago at 90. My dad walked out the first time when I was 6 months and the last time when I was 12 ... he had some charm but truly never gave one single fuck about anyone except himself and didn't ever support. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:29 AM - 36 answers

I've recently become friends with a neighbour, but she wants to see me and talk to me waaaaaay more than I want to see and talk to her. How to get her to cool her jets without making her feel bad? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:10 AM - 17 answers

This is just a request for perspectives to broaden my own and I realize there's not objective answer but here goes. I'm in a relationship that is ethically non-monogamous, though not poly. This is as it should be, for me, except there's kind of a bump in the road... [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:03 AM - 15 answers

Hi Mefites, Last year I posted a question regarding raising our kid in two locations and you all were very helpful. With another year of parenting under our belt, and with pretty robust attempts to get closer to some other families in our immediate area without much success, I am now leaning towards just moving closer to family. [more inside]
posted by Sophiaverde at 6:42 AM - 17 answers

A colleague keeps taking my parking space despite several discussions over it, with me politely asking her not to and offering a solution. Now it feels personal and like she is trying to send a message. Should I ask if we need to clear the air or let it go? It's just a parking space, right? [more inside]
posted by Blissful at 3:46 AM - 50 answers

My father recently died very unexpectedly. He was, by all accounts, a devoted, loving, and supportive father and husband -- to his young second family. I am a member of his first family, all of whom were in varying states of near-estrangement stemming from his being alternatively absent and terrifying during my childhood and emotionally manipulative in the decades since whenever we tried to reconnect. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:06 AM - 19 answers

Hi I’m new to this and made an account after seeing posts about breakups but they couldn’t answer my question. The story is, my boyfriend and I broke up months ago after being together for several years. We’ve been through a lot. However, while we were dating, resentment grew and we argued a lot until we eventually grew apart. There was a lot of blaming. [more inside]
posted by bosqueencantado24 at 6:16 PM - 10 answers

I’m working as part of a group, or have been asked to help a group of people with something. Everyone else seems to know what to do and springs into action. I’m not sure, so I ask someone how I can help, and people seem annoyed that I’m asking and tell me that my help isn’t needed. Then, the authority figure who assigned the work stops by and gets mad at me for slacking. [more inside]
posted by wheatlets at 9:19 AM - 25 answers

I fell in love with my husband in part because we shared anti-war values. It’s a topic that comes up often, especially given that he comes from an immigrant Israeli family (atheists, critical of Israel’s treatment of Palestinians). I am heartbroken and outraged by the Gaza war, he supports it. I’ve tried to manage this by avoiding the topic with him, but as time grinds on, I feel more and more confused as to who he is. Contempt and disgust are creeping in, and it is terrifying. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:09 AM - 38 answers

I got my vision test from a provider who was explicitly listed on my vision insurance (United HealthCare), but who denied the service. I called UHC and spoke with an agent, who called the provider, who said they did not accept UHC. The agent was mystified and told me to go ahead and pay $99 out of pocket, and they would reimburse me $99 as the provider was considered in-network. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude at 2:21 PM - 8 answers

Do you have experiences that you would care to share of creating a family where your romantic partner (or at least your primary partner) was not a co-parent, or at least not a major one? My partner and I disagree on the kids question, but we're curious about other models than the nuclear families we grew up in. Lots of details beyond the jump. [more inside]
posted by nightcoast at 2:39 AM - 14 answers

My son has a classmate who may be facing eviction. He is in kindergarten. I would like to help. But if I'm wrong, still have the gesture be a nice thing that was done randomly. What would you do? [more inside]
posted by ichimunki at 5:31 PM - 11 answers

Our (very part time) family assistant is graduating from college next month. While she's worked for us for ~1.5 years, we didn't know her very well on a personal level. Normally cash would be the natural solution, but that feels weird when we already pay her directly. Other ideas? [more inside]
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 1:36 PM - 11 answers

Our mother passed away and we are putting together a casual memorial in a local arboretum. We want it to be as successful (people sharing memories) as possible, but we children are all introverts and feel like we don't know how best to do/encourage that. Help. [more inside]
posted by blueberry at 3:48 PM - 12 answers

Sourcing the hive mind for a way out of this mess that I've made for myself. In summary - I've been in a situationship for 6 years now. Meaning sex (though rarely these days due to antidepressants and general lack of attraction on my end), cuddles, picking each other up from the airport, hanging out almost every day, and saying I love you. At times I've deluded myself into thinking this is a partnership despite the lack of labels, but last week I identified myself as his partner when speaking with him and he said "no, not really". This is not what I envisioned for my life - it's humiliating to not be chosen as his girlfriend. It’s humiliating to not have met his parents. And I’ve hidden it from my family this entire time - if anything, they think we were good friends that dated briefly. I very much want to get married or at least have a long term committed relationship. I also feel uncomfortable and unhappy around him a lot of the time. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:44 PM - 20 answers

I'm helping an older family member move and would like to get a gift for their neighbor. The family member has some health problems and over the past few years has had trouble maintaining their current house. The neighbor has done a lot of maintenance and yard work for my family member, and has always refused to accept any payment for this. [more inside]
posted by scorpion proof at 8:02 AM - 6 answers

Tonight, our daughter's closeted girlfriend was supposed to come over to hang out, but her mom apparently said no and said that she has to study. It's a Friday night. This isn't the first time she hasn't been allowed to come over. Our daughter is welcome at their house. I'm wondering if the parents suspect that something is going on? What do you all think? This is our first experience supporting our daughter through a more serious relationship. [more inside]
posted by percor at 5:51 PM - 11 answers