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I am an obsessive planner and have a really difficult time with deviations from the plan. My emotions get so overwhelming and I really hurt myself and others by not being able to deal with this. I would love some advice. [more inside]
posted by stoneandstar at 9:10 PM - 7 answers

My husband and I finally have a vacation planned to see my 3-year-old niece, and we're so excited! Last time we saw her in person she was under one and a half, and while we're on video chats with her, it's of course not the same. I don't have a ton of experience with little kids, and could use help brainstorming small, silly surprises (toys or games or songs, etc) I can bust out during our trip to help us be the most super-fun aunt and uncle we can be. Suggestions?
posted by tiny frying pan at 5:28 AM - 24 answers

On the kinky social site Fetlife, I stumbled upon a man in my city who attends events and meets partners here. He's also a Nazi. What should I do next, ethically and practically? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:33 AM - 30 answers

My husband and I (female) have been depressed for a while and it has sapped our respective libidos. We'd like to start having sex again despite this, because we think it would be good for us objectively. But it's been two years and we really don't know how to start again. Have you done this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:33 AM - 18 answers

My friend lies about literally everything. How do I, or should I even, deal? [more inside]
posted by 2soxy4mypuppet at 6:20 PM - 23 answers

A little while ago I moved to the US, as an unattached young adult, for work and a bit of adventure, fully expecting to move back home in a few years' time. I very unexpectedly met someone I now call my sweetheart, who I am starting to think I would like to be with for a long long time. This is bringing up lots of anxiety and uncertainty around the idea of settling down here for good. Folks who've emigrated to another country (or made a similarly big life decision) for their SO, how did you decide to do it, how did you talk about it with your partner, and how do you feel about it now?
posted by btfreek at 3:31 PM - 6 answers

Our wonderful nanny (N) was in the park with my son (S) when our friend F)ran into her. Out of the blue, F asked N—apparently, nearly begged—to hire her. N said she didn’t have time, but F seemed intent on getting N for whatever time she had. More details and questions below. [more inside]
posted by saltypup at 3:23 PM - 29 answers

My husband is finally about to finish his CS PhD after seven-ish long, long years. I want this to be feted appropriately, but it's been a terrible year for celebrations, and I have no idea what to do! [more inside]
posted by caitcadieux at 8:54 AM - 9 answers

We have metal signs approximately 1 x 1.5 ft that are attached to chain link or barbed-wire fences with tie wire. These get stolen every so often. How to prevent this? [more inside]
posted by falsedmitri at 6:39 AM - 21 answers

I’ve posted here a few times regarding a co parent relationship (if you can even call it go parenting) between myself and the father of my five year old daughter, and am looking for advice on updating or upholding a current custody/visitation agreement. Should I modify an existing order in which I have full physical custody and father has no overnights but visitation rights? [more inside]
posted by MamaBee223 at 3:51 PM - 20 answers

I have been very isolated and am struggling with making decisions about how I will handle things when I am fully vaccinated in a couple weeks. Also trying to plan how I will navigate whatever boundaries I decide on with others in my life, who are reasonable but not as cautious as me. [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria at 1:41 PM - 10 answers

My ten-year-old daughter’s best friend will be moving in the next few months. She’ll be a few hours’ drive away. Neither my daughter nor her friend are happy about the move. I’d be grateful for any ideas about how to support my kid right now and how to help my kid be there for her friend—this is new territory for them both. [more inside]
posted by TEA at 8:13 AM - 7 answers

If you have an abnormally high need for solitude, and once felt guilty about it but have come to feel not-guilty, how did you make that change? Answers that are not just "go to therapy", please; that does not work for everyone. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:24 AM - 27 answers

Hi! My friend got married recently, in a small ceremony due to COVID social distancing, etc. To be honest, we aren't super close, but we're friends from college (back in 2005) and we've have kept in touch through FB and in-person by supporting major life events and creative endeavors throughout the years. [more inside]
posted by Shadow Boxer at 4:23 PM - 9 answers

I've seen many MeFi comments criticizing an explicit friendship breakup. They say it's better to slow-fade. I agree with that approach for acquaintances and distant friends. However, for closer friends, I've found it confusing to be on the receiving end of a slow-fade. It takes months to figure out whether the friend is genuinely busy or is slow-fading. It feels drawn-out and painful. In other arenas of life (dating, work), we value clear communication and closure. Why not for friendship? [more inside]
posted by sandwich at 6:44 AM - 63 answers

People of MeFi who've remained un-married: how has it worked out for you; what have been some of your greatest challenges/rewards; and what advice would you have to give someone who might be headed down a similar route? [more inside]
posted by hadjiboy at 1:19 PM - 20 answers

Resource request. [more inside]
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 10:44 PM - 6 answers

My family is on the way to buy a home, something we never thought would be within our reach. Yay! The home is inhabited by a tenant, who has lived there for several years. They’d like to stay. We plan to live in the home. Can you help me think how to work through this process legally and as compassionately and ethically as possible? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:55 PM - 40 answers

My partner recently dropped a metaphorical bomb on me. Early in our relationship, Partner and I discussed, and seemed to agree on, the Big Things – e.g., marriage (yes), kids (no). However, about a month ago, Partner let me know that their feelings towards having kids has changed and they feel they would deeply regret never being a parent. I've been planning for a childfree life since I was young. [more inside]
posted by Robocat at 9:46 AM - 12 answers

I need ideas for starting, extending, deepening, and sometimes salvaging a conversation. [more inside]
posted by ebesan at 8:22 AM - 8 answers