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We are staying in our friends condo for a month. The fiancée of their son lived here on her own until he (the son) ended their relationship. While I was unpacking, I found the first two pages of a letter written by the son to the fiancée, explaining why he had broken it off with her. These pages were not in an envelope. They were in a paperback in the drawer in the bedside table. [more inside]
posted by uans at 11:35 AM - 0 answers

I ended a eleven year relationship (F32) with (M36) that was not working out for a long time due to verbal and emotional abuse and constant fighting from him. I realise I actually prefer women but repressed it, and I really want to date women now. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow at 3:42 PM - 13 answers

A few months ago, I committed to volunteering as part of a group that runs free game events. But I ended up questioning my ability to do a good job, and kept procrastinating on scheduling my first event. It's now been months, and I'm so embarrassed at having flaked out that I keep ignoring the volunteer coordinator's pings. When I try drafting a reply, I second-guess every sentence and end up not sending anything at all. I'd like an outside opinion on what a good "taking-responsibility" email looks like. [more inside]
posted by perplexion at 10:27 AM - 12 answers

I am working for my parents' company while I get into a new career. I am dependent on this income for the next six months. In a few short months, my mother has pushed me far further than I ever thought possible. There is an absolute mess of words inside. I am sorry, I needed to vent. Main questions: a) what she did was bad, right? It's not just me? and b) how do I draw healthy boundaries? [more inside]
posted by Probabilitics at 9:35 AM - 17 answers

How do I keep up the lines of communication with my 11 year old so that he doesn’t get red-pilled? My 11 year old who is sharply verbal, oppositional, and technically on the spectrum, loves all types of media and has (my personal bias aside!) an unusually sophisticated ability to analyze media and discourse. (Check my posting history for more on him.) He is “all boy” as they say, also white and middle-class. Unlike some other similar boys, we are actually raising him in an extremely economically and racially diverse environment. However this environment is not politically diverse - at all. And he is a tween Holden Caufield. [more inside]
posted by haptic_avenger at 6:23 AM - 34 answers

I am editing a documentary film in which several Deaf subjects were interviewed (being asked and signing their responses in ASL). What should I know about the ethics / standard practice of how to show or not show signing folks on camera? [more inside]
posted by catesbie at 9:18 AM - 9 answers

A very close friend of mine has been sued for sexual harrassment. I have no idea how to handle this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:44 AM - 25 answers

How do kids' brains develop? I moved to a new town and am now babysitting a 4-year-old and 1-year-old. They are fascinating! I want to learn how to be a good babysitter and uncle. Please recommend resources and ideas that might be useful. [more inside]
posted by rebent at 10:17 AM - 17 answers

I suffer from anxiety which I believe is part of a wider trauma response to an emotionally abusive parent. I'm now 10 years very low contact and have done a lot of work on this in therapy. As I work on it, I'm realising that my anxiety is quite specifically centred on fear of getting in trouble/disappointing figures in authority but am still struggling to move past it and looking for advice on that. [more inside]
posted by pandabanter at 5:45 AM - 25 answers

I need to practice accepting help from the caring people in my life. The Miss Independent schtick needs to stop, and I want to be gracious and allow them to help me when they offer. In the past I may have felt I had something to prove, but I've realized I can't do life completely on my own. How did you learn to accept help that's being offered to you? How did you remind yourself to try again when people let you down?
posted by Juniper Toast at 12:15 PM - 11 answers

A family member had a significant birthday so I went out of town for four days. Lots of gatherings and distractions ensued. I did send a note and video to my spouse the second day and got a short message back. When I got home, I was chastised more than once because I didn’t let them know the first day that I’d arrived at my destination. Then it blew up. A lot. [more inside]
posted by Gusaroo at 10:10 PM - 41 answers

During the last two presidential election years, there’s been a lot of Trump-y awfulness in my community. I did my best to help my kid make sense of what she saw each day, but sometimes I was too angry about what I’d seen to frame anything constructively for her. As 2024 approaches, I am worried that we have another ugly year ahead of us. What are your strategies for living through 2024 without losing faith in the humanity of those around you?
posted by TEA at 8:53 PM - 13 answers

My brother has come into possession of a pair of handguns. I'm extremely concerned that his temper and impulsivity will lead to a dangerous situation. How can I express this to him in a way that will make him re-think this decision to keep these guns in his home? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:30 PM - 29 answers

A friend recently died in a tragic accident. I mailed a sympathy card to friend's partner. At the the graveside service, as I hugged partner, partner said, "I got your card." I responded, "I'm glad the post office got it to you." Now, I'm like, "Doh, that was a stupid thing to say. Complaining about the potential unreliability of the postal service at a time like that?" I keep thinking about what I said, and wishing I had just responded, "Good." Is my obsessing just a result of the stress of my friend dying, or is what I said actually inept?
posted by anonymous at 2:02 AM - 30 answers

I am from the USA and vote Democratic. I would describe myself as center-left. I do a lot of international travel and spend very little time in the US. I am interested in world history and current events. Sadly, this is inhibiting my personal growth and interfering with my social life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:34 AM - 20 answers

Hi all, I had to recently end an eleven-year relationship with a guy who was five years older and for the past five years the relationship went sour and he became so negative, critical, rude, unsupportive, and would emotionally and verbally abuse me for years on end. What can I do to heal from this without therapy for now? I cannot afford therapy at the moment even with a sliding scale as a student (really on a tight budget as I had to use all my savings pretty much towards my tuition for my graduate studies). [more inside]
posted by RearWindow at 5:32 PM - 15 answers

I seem to keep running into this problem: I meet a new person/group of people. I am initially very cautious and wary in order to respect boundaries and not intrude. People mistake this for shyness or aloofness, and are extra kind and friendly. I remain wary, but they eventually win me over and I start to let my guard down. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:41 PM - 20 answers

My sweet father passed away last month. While going through his papers, I found contemporaneous notes that my dad was taking over a number of years describing the verbal and emotional abuse being leveled at him by my mother. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:04 PM - 13 answers

How can I support my friend during a divorce? [more inside]
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:38 AM - 7 answers

My Dad has Alzheimer's disease and lives alone. His doctor has said he has to go to memory care. We have power of attorney, a decent facility, and money to pay. But Dad doesn't think he needs care. He is a legit narcissist. How can we make this easier? [more inside]
posted by Frenchy67 at 6:50 AM - 12 answers