Questions in the Human Relations category.
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In therapy I realized I have a core assumption that love and positive attention are very scarce resources. Love and attention aren't exactly analogous to money or market goods, but they are a finite resource in some sense. Reflecting on my past choices, I see social-emotional equivalents of investing in get rich quick schemes, taking a lousy job because it was better than unemployment, and being so stingy that I missed opportunities for growth—all stemming from the assumption of scarcity. How does one learn to identify and build relationships and environments where love and support are more abundant? [more inside]
What are things I can buy my depressingly conservative family members for Christmas that might have the side effect of making them a teensy bit less depressingly conservative? [more inside]
As a 20 year-old woman, the growing conversation about sexual harassment and emotional labor has influenced me deeply. Conversations on Metafilter have expanded my perspective over the past few years, from the emotional labor thread to the #MeToo movement to Cat Person. Today my dad posted a link on Facebook to an article characterizing the #MeToo movement as an overreaction, and said it was a "viewpoint that deserves to be heard." I want to try to convince him otherwise. [more inside]
Sometime soon, our adoption of our baby girl will become final. We do not want a large celebration with a bunch of extended family or anything, but would like a little something for just my husband, son, baby girl and I. [more inside]
Should I skip my family's Christmas party this year or should I go and face my abuser? I have a very abusive uncle who also doesn’t get along with my parents so he has been verbally and emotionally abusive to my entire family for as long as I’ve known him. Everyone else in my family seems to know of his abusive nature but everyone just dismisses it as that’s who he is and no one has ever confronted him of his behavior because they do not want to become his next target. [more inside]
My friend is ignoring me, for what seems like no real good reason, after some weirdness with my ex boyfriend. She's ignored me before, over a situation where she felt like I wasn't communicating enough with her- when my dad was literally dying, and I had actually made efforts to reach out. We're supposed to be going away together - just the two of us - for new year and I'm considering telling her this can't happen. However, I always second guess myself and my feelings, and know I can be sensitive. Perhaps I care too much about this, and should keep her as a superficial friend if not a close one? I just feel personally (especially lately) like life is perhaps a little too short for this sort of stuff, which is causing me a lot of worry on top of an already mammoth amount of processing of difficult stuff from the last three years. [more inside]
Should I contact a stranger who was victimized by the same man as I was? Is it inappropriate or even pointless? [more inside]
So I'm not sure what to call it exactly. Maybe financial betrayal is the wrong term. My spouse spent a long time unemployed, not actively looking, despite being treated for depression, and it's made money a bigger deal than I would like. I want to be supportive but find myself resentful. Help me find my balance here. [more inside]
Are there any effective negotiation tactics when dealing with people who refuse to compromise or explain unreasonable demands, bully and threaten, deny facts, and other similar methods? If I can avoid those kinds of people I do, but it's not always possible (professional contexts, not personal relationships).
Apologies for the weedy, stream of consciousness question but it's been a hard day. I used to think my coping skills are quite good, but clearly not. All details after the jump. [more inside]
Through therapy and all that, I've come to the realization that a multitude of the feelings I've always had stem from childhood emotional neglect. All my material needs were taken care of, but my parents were otherwise pretty shitty. I've always had a hard time making friends and maintaining connections with people. I'm ready to start doing the work and attempt to make positive changes, but.. what does overcoming emotional neglect look like? Is it really not too late for me to make meaningful connections with people? [more inside]
There's a girl I like, everything points to her being interested in me. The last message she sent basically said that we should see each other again. I've known her for a while now, and she always seemed to want to talk. Here's the thing though, I'm worrying a lot about what she will say when I ask her out. My fear is trying to make me look for reasons to not ask her out, I won't allow that but I want my fear gone, I don't want to feel like this, I hate it. Literally everyone who knows me is pushing me to ask her out. [more inside]
What do you get a 83 year old woman who watches Fox News all day? I am stumped. She wants for nothing, doesn't really need anything.
I've been dating someone for a few months. He's great and everything is going well, but we keep disagreeing over how much time I should be spending with him and his friends. [more inside]
Whenever I do a web search for, like, "how to be a good partner with depression," I get resources for how to support a depressed person. But I am the depressed person, and I'm looking for resources/advice on how to communicate with and support my partner while also taking care of myself. (That pretty much sums it up, but snowflakes below, of course!) [more inside]
So I need to ensure that my recently deceased father is put in his ancestral worship temple alongside his ancestors in Hong Kong. [more inside]
I did a google search on a former girlfriend's name and found a bunch of news articles that someone with the same name and age was arrested in Sydney. [more inside]
I have a an incredibly sweet, bright, 13-year-old girl with sensory processing disorder. Loud noises tend to bother her. Middle school is tough for her because it is a very bright, noisy place with 700 kids. [more inside]
Hi! Here's the sequel to a question I asked two months ago about my abusive sister in law. [more inside]
I’m having an issue at my job where I feel torn between different groups of coworkers. I’m afraid I’ve become a Mean Girl but I don’t know how to bow out now. [more inside]