Questions in the Human Relations category.
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September 21

Need help "moving forward" in life

Feeling isolated, alone, and lost in life; what can I change to move forward? [more inside]
posted by NatalieWood at 11:46 PM - 3 answers

is this the behavior of a guy who actually cares about me?

I'm looking for some insights on how to interpret a recent situation with my boyfriend whereby he's moving in with an ex... [more inside]
posted by thiosux at 3:31 PM - 13 answers

Advice for discovering something unpleasant about a deceased loved one

I had a very good and relatively uncomplicated relationship with a parent who I loved very much and died not long ago. I recently discovered something very unpleasant on their computer and I’m really struggling with reconciling this with the parent I loved so dearly and was so close to. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:57 PM - 13 answers

Looking for a polite way to phrase a request, part two.

What is says on the tin, cousin edition. [more inside]
posted by Crystal Fox at 1:16 PM - 13 answers

Supporting disabled family

My brother has austism and OCD. The OCD has gotten a lot worse since the beginning of the pandemic. We're not sure if he's still taking his meds. Can you tell us about how you support family that's disabled and lives semi-independently? [more inside]
posted by marfa, texas at 11:11 AM - 3 answers

How gross is it for a man to get a sex toy for himself?

I, a man, am mostly friends with women, and they've pretty much to a one told me that they use solo sex toys. Even my partner has shown me her sex toys. But is it odd that I'd like one? None of my male friends do (or they keep it to themselves). [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:11 AM - 35 answers

September 20

Gift for Wedding Canceled Due to COVID-19?

A friend was supposed to get married this spring, and they had to postpone due to COVID-19. They initially rescheduled for this fall and have since canceled their wedding. I'd still like to send them a gift, but I'm not sure what is the best approach. I know this is an "any option will be appreciated" situation, but how are others approaching this? Buying something off their registry? Sending something else around the date (e.g., gift certificate to a restaurant that does take-out/hobby that they both enjoy, flowers or a plant, etc.)? [more inside]
posted by verity kindle at 7:08 PM - 7 answers

How to care for myself while I wait for meds to kick in?

Difficulty rating: pregnant and grieving mom's suicide and other mom's slow death from cancer. [more inside]
posted by unstrungharp at 4:20 PM - 9 answers

Asking ex partner to unfriend me?

I’m sure I’m not the first person to go through this... I’m to the point where I need to ask my ex wife to unfriend me so she doesn’t have to be subject to seeing me be happy about a new relationship. Blocking seems shitty. Is there a script for this? Apologies if I worded anything wrong here. I’m trying to be kind.
posted by ftm at 1:34 PM - 32 answers

Talking to a kid about getting catcalled, beforehand

Looking for resources to help prepare my tween daughter for the eventuality of getting catcalled. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:18 PM - 4 answers

What do you say when someone dies? Estranged/bad relationship edition.

I have a few friends who have recently lost family members (e.g., parents) with whom they were not close and, in fact, sometimes had acrimonious relationships with (estrangement, abuse, etc.) How do you respond when someone experiences a death such as this? [more inside]
posted by stillmoving at 12:00 PM - 12 answers

September 19

Am I being unreasonable to dump boyfriend because of his job situation?

Well, its not as simple as that. Its kind of connected to his personal qualities and also my own relationship goals I guess. I'm finding myself not as attracted to the guy I'm seeing because of a reasonably superficial fact of his life (not having a job) even though he's solid, caring and has lots of potential. Would be interested to hear how others would feel about this. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar at 2:40 PM - 32 answers

Help needed finding sobriety support group with live remote meetings

My spouse needs a new sobriety support group that has been holding live online meetings but doesn't know how to get connected to one or to one where he'll fit. If you have ideas, pointers to the magic directory to search, or specific recs on a potential fit, we'd be so grateful. Snowflake details inside. And please feel free to memail me if you have suggestions you don't want to share in the thread. [more inside]
posted by shelbaroo at 11:39 AM - 9 answers

How to deal with a critical/negative spouse?

My husband and I are relatively newly married, and are struggling in our dynamic. From the beginning of our acquaintance, I knew that he was an intense perfectionist with discriminating taste and with an Eeyore-like glum/negative streak.  This didn't bother me because he was never negative about me, and he seemed in general to be increasingly more cheerful and happy when we were together (when we were dating/engaged).  He had had a rough time of it before we got together, and so I assumed that the longer we were together, the more he would mellow out as he became more content. Unfortunately, the reverse has happened: since we've been married, his criticism is more often directed at me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:02 AM - 87 answers

September 18

Help me understand my breakup

I just had a really awful breakup and I need help understanding it. I was happy and then we were broken up within an hour. I want to know how I could have done better so that I don’t make the same mistakes again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:01 PM - 22 answers

September 17

Father died without a will. What now?

I have been estranged from my father for 18 years. I learned today that he has died. I also learned that he owned a home (not paid for), a vehicle, and has money in the bank. He was not married (my mother divorced him 25 years ago), and had no significant other. I am in NC, if that matters. I’ve been executor of an estate before, but there was a will. What do I do in this case? [more inside]
posted by little mouth at 3:29 PM - 11 answers

September 16

The Lady said, "I Want to be Alone".

I'm curious to know about the body of work (literature and science) concerning those people who try to leave society to live their lives alone but society won't let them. I remember a book from college about a colony of women who migrate to another planet but know eventually, men will come. Also, movies where people go into space to get away from humanity but it either follows them or destroys them because they try. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind at 9:26 AM - 11 answers

Reader, I Left Him — Now What?

Several years ago, I discovered my husband’s infidelity for the first time and received some excellent advice here, which I unfortunately completely disregarded. Many affairs later, I finally came to my senses and left. Now what? [more inside]
posted by sockaroniandcheese at 5:32 AM - 16 answers

September 15

Husband has credit card debt, won't talk about it. Help.

I (F, 40s) have been married to my husband for five years. We have a young child and a joint mortgage, but even now I still can’t get him to be open with me about his personal finances; in particular he has a lot of feelings of shame about having credit card debt. I see this as a problem that we need to work through together, but he won’t even tell me how much credit card debt he has, which is worrying me a lot. I need advice on how to have this conversation with him. [more inside]
posted by damsel with a dulcimer at 2:40 PM - 32 answers

Uncomfortable Attending and traveling for Wedding during Covid

Should I turn down a wedding invitation to my brother in laws wedding across the country because of Covid? [more inside]
posted by ljs30 at 1:47 PM - 31 answers

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