Questions in the Human Relations category.
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August 5

Still in love (?) with abuser (?) 10+ years later

I am an AFAB nonbinary person in my late 30s. In my very early 20s I was involved in an intense and damaging relationship with an older man in a position of power. This was not romantic, but a 'friendship' with a sexual element and a D/s element. I am still fucked up over it but the worst part is that I miss it. Help me feel less insane? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:57 PM - 9 answers

I don't know if I want another child, and it's tearing me up inside

I'm married and helping to raise my stepchild. My wife and I always planned on having a child together, but life got in the way and we spent years dealing with the fallout of crisis after crisis. It was never "the right time" for a baby, and we just stopped talking about it. I don't know how to weigh the pros and cons of trying to have a child at this age. I don't want to talk to my wife about it until I know how I feel, but I'm just torn and unsure of what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:08 AM - 19 answers

August 4

Embarrassed at my performance in a social league

My previous question was about joining a social sports league. Everyone was really good, much more than what I expected. I could tell that I was letting my team down a little bit and at this point I want to drop out. [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon at 10:59 PM - 15 answers

Doubting a wonderful relationship

I've been dating someone for four years. He is extremely kind, stable, playful, compassionate, but I have doubts. There is no The One, but... how do you know if someone's The One? Snowflakes inside. (late 20s, F) [more inside]
posted by involute at 6:55 PM - 25 answers

August 3

Am I thinking about accessibility wrong?

I got tickets for New York City's Homecoming Concert and mentioned it on Facebook. A friend commented that they would love to get tickets but wouldn't physically be able to make it through the entire concert. I suggested the ADA seating in case they didn't know that was an option. Was I off base? [more inside]
posted by Neely O'Hara at 3:40 PM - 9 answers

Living with annoying habits

How do you deal with your spouse or partner’s annoying habits? Not serious character flaws, but minor and ultimately harmless habits like bad grammar, verbal tics, being messy, cracking knuckles, noisy eating, etc. Is it better to try to ignore them at the risk of letting them drive you mad and becoming resentful? Or is it better to try to correct them and become possibly just as annoying with constantly nagging?
posted by roaring beast at 2:09 PM - 25 answers

The Aftermath of Leaving a Good Relationship

I just left my long term mostly good relationship and I feel like I just jumped off a cliff and am in free fall. I think deep down I know it is what I needed to do, but it's not a simple situation and it hurts and I'm seeking guidance from others who've done the same. [more inside]
posted by monologish at 12:52 PM - 10 answers

Coping with dad's illness and mom's caregiving style

I would welcome any ideas for ways to cope with a parent’s sudden illness, particularly for adjusting mentally/emotionally to their new condition and managing flashbacks of their worst days and symptoms. Additionally, I would appreciate any strategies for navigating differences in caregiving style with my mother, who is doing her best, but has a less patient and empathetic approach to providing care. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:48 PM - 9 answers

Sullen 13-Year Old

I have a 13 year old relative staying with me for a few days. I'm wondering whether I should be concerned about his affect. [more inside]
posted by SageTrail at 12:14 PM - 15 answers

Money & equity in (my) life partnership...

I have been with my partner for almost five years. We have a two-year-old and are due with our second child in December. I’m struggling with our financial arrangement altogether, and with inequities in our division of childcare and housework. I see some risk in confusing these questions by asking them in the same post, though they’re very connected. [more inside]
posted by AlmondEyes at 6:18 AM - 45 answers

August 1

Resources for parents of alcoholics

I went to my first and second Al-Anon meetings today. Can you help me find more resources for parents of alcoholics/addicts: personal stories, advice, etc.? Most of what I'm finding (apart from Al-Anon) seems to be SEO for residential rehabs, or geared towards adult children of alcoholics. It's specifically the experience of being a parent of an alcoholic or addict that I would like to read about. Thanks for any suggestions!
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 7:11 PM - 2 answers

Another noise reduction conundrum

So as long term AskMeFi readers know, I have a curse wherein noise disrupts my sleep no matter where I move. Most recently, I moved to an apartment four months ago that I explicitly picked because it was quiet at night and the bedroom was at the side of the house instead of the front or back (no street/alley noise that way). For four months, I slept well. Then new neighbors moved in, and it went downhill. [more inside]
posted by LSK at 5:48 PM - 22 answers

What dating sites would be best for me?

I keep trying and failing to jump back into online dating. It's been such a long time since I've been in the swim that it's taking a LOT of psyching myself up. (Not to mention Covid dysphoria.) In the past I did OkCupid, but now I'm thinking Bumble. But are there others I should consider? I'm in NYC, a cis het woman, early 50s, looking for relationship-minded guys. I'm not on Facebook, so can't do any that require that. Thanks for any recommendations.
posted by gigondas at 3:04 PM - 5 answers

What to do with 'confused' coparent?

My coparent seems very confused right now. We communicate only on a coparenting app (OFW) due to a high conflict divorce. There was very little communication for the past month. Suddenly coparent is repeatedly making out-of-the-blue and difficult-to-understand accusations. There is some history of diagnosed (and undiagnosed) mental illness and/or mini-strokes for coparent. I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by u2604ab at 12:18 PM - 18 answers

July 31

Empathy failure?

I have a hard time putting myself into someone else's shoes when it comes to physical feelings. When I'm full, I can't imagine being hungry. When I'm hot, I can't imagine feeling cold. When I'm feeling okay, I have to force myself to register intellectually that because the other person has a headache they might not want to do XYZ. [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom at 3:02 PM - 14 answers

July 30

visual content to put on screen while reading out loud

an art related online group i sometimes attend has a "show and tell" component, where various ones of us volunteer to, say, talk about a lesser known artist and share images and info about them/their work, or share something we're working on, or a tool we like , or ..or.. or.. it's very wide open. [more inside]
posted by elgee at 7:21 AM - 4 answers

Alcohol crises with parents and myself - request for advice

Dear mefites, parents were taken in an ambulance to hospital because of drinking last night. I am looking for advice please to help me with how to deal with my parents, their drinking, ongoing crises, and my own issues with alcohol and associated fallout. There is a lot of background to this question and include a TLDR at the end. [more inside]
posted by sedimentary_deer at 5:16 AM - 23 answers

Please go away forever?

An ex who I cut off all contact with, and explicitly told that I want nothing to do with, suddenly seems to be creeping/stalking me online. I'm very upset and shaken up, and need people who are wiser and more objective than me to tell me what to make of it, and what my next steps are. [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover at 1:26 AM - 16 answers

July 29

My kid won’t stop touching people

My seven-year-old son has very difficult time respecting other people’s personal space. How do I help him change his behavior? [more inside]
posted by not_the_water at 4:48 PM - 12 answers

Competition distancing relationships

I'm not proud of myself for even having to ask this question, but I want to improve: I notice that when somebody is "my competition," I find it really hard to be friends with them, or get close to them, or stay close to them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:11 PM - 11 answers

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