Questions in the Human Relations category.
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September 18

Funeral and Burial Conundrum

My mother died this weekend, just shy of three months after my father. She'll be buried in the same plot as my father, which is presenting… problems. Help me work out which is the least-worst option, and how to communicate with my extended family? [more inside]
posted by t0astie at 5:02 AM - 13 answers

September 17

I wish I had time to thank you properly...

In the midst of a massively over-scheduled month from hell, my car (which I absolutely need for work/school/etc.) needs to go to the mechanic for at least a week. A friend is very kindly lending me her car. My question: how do I thank her? I have no time to do anything thoughtful (wash it, detail it, etc.), but I'm so appreciative. I'm happy to spend some money for this, but on what?
posted by papergirl at 7:00 PM - 11 answers

Books about whether to have a baby

I'm contemplating whether I want to have a baby in the next three to five years. Obviously, it's a lot of work. It also seems interesting. How do I decide if it's worth it? Looking for books relevant to thinking this through. [more inside]
posted by triscuit at 6:34 PM - 12 answers

How do others feel about my sister in law’s behaviour?

How do others feel about my sister in law’s behaviour? How should i deal with this? [more inside]
posted by direct1 at 4:16 PM - 28 answers

"top 20" style article about debating/discussing with men?

I'm looking for an article (Buzzfeed, maybe?) that contained a bulleted list of tactics (some) men (allegedly) use when debating with women. It included items like "shift the goalposts" but it was *not* a generic list of debate fallacies. It was, admittedly, a biased listicle, but boy did it describe a very specific situation I observed recently, and I'd like to reread it while cursing and shaking a tiny fist at the universe. Perhaps you can help me find it? [more inside]
posted by instamatic at 1:23 PM - 9 answers

Parenting dispute re: playground bullies

What to do with kiddo gets pushed around at the playground? [more inside]
posted by EtTuHealy at 12:29 PM - 17 answers

Guide for Interacting with Muslim Women in Professional Environment?

I am very comfortable traveling in the Muslim world (have lived in South Asia for several years). However, I am now in the position of organizing a professional exchange, whereby an Indonesian policymaker (a Muslim woman) will be spending two months at a U.S. organization doing a job-shadowing experience in a very specific scientific field. The organization has asked if I have any guides they could pass out to their staff on "do's and don'ts" for interacting with relatively conservative Muslim women. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by GorgeousPorridge at 11:18 AM - 15 answers

September 16

I don't want to feel resentful towards my boyfriend for money reasons

I often have to give my boyfriend money to see him to the end of the month. It isn't his fault that he can't make ends meet at the moment, and I have the spare cash to do this without feeling the pinch. But increasingly when I do this I feel resentful. I feel an utter heel for feeling this way (which unhelpfully can feed back into the resentfulness). Any advice on managing these emotions would be most gratefully received. [more inside]
posted by Vortisaur at 1:01 PM - 33 answers

September 15

What does this bad kiss mean?

Is a bad kiss indicitive of poor chemistry or can things be changed? Anecdotes? [more inside]
posted by bearette at 8:21 PM - 19 answers

wedding readings and vows not fixated on individual romantic love?

I'm participating in a U.S.-style wedding soon and my fiancee wants me to find a meaningful passage and a vow to read aloud during the ceremony. I'm looking for something which speaks of marriage as a alliance of two families, as a partnership in the work of caring for ourselves and our parents and our children, as a considered union of our previously separate prospects, skills, and desires. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 1:11 PM - 5 answers

How do I deal with feeling left out?

Am I even being reasonable here? Should I just let this one go? [more inside]
posted by Amy93 at 12:52 PM - 36 answers

How do you deal with implicit bias when it could affect you?

It turns out that implicit bias makes it harder to do many things when you're not a white male, including getting interviews for jobs, riding the bus, and even getting restaurant recommendations from your hotel. How do you actually deal with this? [more inside]
posted by chernoffhoeffding at 11:35 AM - 12 answers

Is my MIL at risk of being scammed here?

My mother-in-law’s new-ish friend “Charlie” has borrowed money from her several times, but always returned the loan. Now Charlie is abroad and in trouble and needs money sent over urgently. I have concerns. [more inside]
posted by Catseye at 4:16 AM - 18 answers

Pretend to still like friend's abusive spouse to help her leave?

Pretend to still like friend's abusive spouse to help her leave? story beneath the fold [more inside]
posted by Jenny'sCricket at 3:38 AM - 14 answers

September 13

How do I help a coworker learn to speak up?

I have a colleague who tends to speak really quietly, mumble, and trail off at the end of sentences. This leads to people (including me) asking her pretty much every time she says something to speak up so we can understand her. As her mentor (and for everyone's sake), I want to find ways to help. Tips/advice/resources? [more inside]
posted by ersatzhuman at 8:31 PM - 18 answers

I kicked a metaphorical hornet's nest today. Help me soothe my stings?

I'm part of a community of let's say professional teapot makers. The male owner of a teapot manufacturing firm who is an event organizer treated me Very Badly in a gendered way several months ago. This happened when I was volunteering at a teapot event that he organized. I finally made a formal complaint to the national group of teapot event organizers and teapot standard setters and am waiting to see what comes of it. Help me be calm and be prepared for what might be coming. throwaway email - [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:04 PM - 10 answers

Alcohol, Alzheimer's, and A Neighbor

There is a sweet, elderly lady who lives in our neighborhood who occasionally stops by, has some water, chit chats, borrows a bottle of wine, and goes on her merry way. This used to happen once every month or so. It has happened three days in a row this week. What is our best course of action? [more inside]
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 11:24 AM - 13 answers

there is no guidebook for this

Asking for a friend - script needed for a delicate conversation. [more inside]
posted by thereemix at 11:06 AM - 4 answers

I'm worrying about pillowcases

Is sleeping on a satin pillowcase going to be offputting to skeptics? [more inside]
posted by blerghamot at 6:38 AM - 71 answers

Hate being around my mother but have to be - how to deal?

I'm really struggling with how to have a relationship with my mother/family when my mother is emotionally immature and prone to anger/belittlement/abuse. I've had to put up a friendly/nice facade of having no feelings in order to continue being around her but this is proving increasingly difficult and she is becoming exasperated at not being able to connect with me. Meanwhile, she relies on me as one of her only (or perhaps her only) real source of emotional support. Finding this very difficult at the moment, with the result of provoking more exasperation/disappointment/anger from her. [more inside]
posted by fantasticbotanical at 2:49 AM - 19 answers

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