Questions in the Human Relations category.
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April 10

True stories of emotionally supportive men

Do you, a heterosexual woman, receive verbal emotional support from your partner? Can you provide a typical example with specifics (preferably including what was said)? I'm not looking for that one heroic time they really came through but more what you've come to expect day to day. The point of this question is to better understand the range of possibility in real life.
posted by HotToddy at 4:44 PM - 16 answers

Common assault?

How do we process what happened on the rugby pitch? [more inside]
posted by charlen at 12:03 PM - 27 answers

Messaging timing etiquette

Is there a consensus on etiquette about texting or messaging (dating apps or otherwise) acquaintances early in the morning? [more inside]
posted by needs more cowbell at 4:10 AM - 42 answers

April 9

Help me explain this to a white person

I am mixed race and when talking about a conflict with my mother, the white person I was talking to said "have you considered that this might be a cultural issue? I don't know much about (specific culture), but from what I heard (cliché they heard on tv, though not necessarily wrong)." [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom at 1:04 PM - 27 answers

April 8

How do you listen (when you’re shy)?

I’m a shy and somewhat socially anxious person. I have realized that sometimes it’s difficult for me to carry on a conversation because I’m so caught up worrying what the other person is thinking of me that I lose track of what’s said, or only hear it at a superficial level. How can I make this better? [more inside]
posted by robertthebruce at 2:42 PM - 8 answers

April 7

Should I end this friendship?

I have a friend that sometimes takes weeks to respond and reply to my text messages and sometimes they forget to reply. Lately, I have been feeling ignored and I am not sure if I should simply end the friendship or wait it out. I have confronted my friend about it, but they said that they were sorry but too busy to reply and needed to focus on their studies. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow at 6:48 PM - 27 answers

Um, how do I give a s*** again?

Basically I've gone totally numb due to the usual depression reasons. I'm also exhausted. Need to hear ideas how to reverse course without overwhelming myself. Content warning: lots of anger. [more inside]
posted by coffeeand at 5:28 PM - 36 answers

So I Threw My Phone in Anger. Now What?

(This post mentions Covid but is not about Covid.) Today, during a stressful phone conversation, I threw my phone in anger and broke it. Nobody was present, I did not harm anyone, and I do not plan to harm anyone. Please suggest ways I can cope with the aftermath of this situation. The direct issues have been resolved, so I am seeking advice for longer-term coping strategies and insight about my mental state. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:43 AM - 20 answers

Deleting contacts of people who have passed away?

When (if ever) do you delete contacts of people who have passed away? [more inside]
posted by Dip Flash at 9:06 AM - 28 answers

April 6

Help me pal around with a new big brother (age 2)

My friends have a 2 year old and another baby on the way. I am the lucky friend who will get the call when it's time for mom & dad to go to the hospital and I get to hang out with the 2 year old. Yay! What are some cool books or gifts that might help my little buddy feel great about becoming a big brother?
posted by wowenthusiast at 3:45 PM - 10 answers

Excise my parenting shame?

I have small kids who are both very strong-willed and tantrum prone. When they're having challenging behaviors, I'm constantly imagining how people would judge our parenting and then feeling defensive or guilty or just exhausted, which is both unenjoyable and makes handling the behavior harder for me. Any good books or blogs or other media that flip that perspective to help me acknowledge that parenting is harder for us than other people and we're doing our best? [more inside]
posted by Gravel at 2:24 PM - 16 answers

Is it healthy that my friends and I all struggle with trauma?

I have CPTSD and OCD, and recently realized that all of my closest friends struggle with trauma and other mental health issues. We have healthy boundaries, open communication, and plenty of other shared interests beyond our mental health/trauma similarities, but I'm worried that I'm unknowingly perpetuating toxic dynamics. Is it okay to have close, (hopefully) lifelong friendships with others who are also trauma survivors? How do I figure out if it's healthy or not? [more inside]
posted by runnerfive at 8:17 AM - 17 answers

Taught not Learned: Correcting Someone Else's Word Choice

My neighbor, for whom English is a foreign language, confuses "learned" with "taught". For example, yesterday she told me that she "learned [her son] how to tie his shoe laces". This is a common error for her in otherwise quite good English. [more inside]
posted by Pineapplicious at 6:10 AM - 38 answers

April 5

Tips for dealing with constant anger?

I've had a lot of bad things that have happened to me within the last few years, a lot of them having to do with toxic relationships. I still repeat a lot of the incidents over again in my head and I cannot stop feeling angry. [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon at 4:38 PM - 19 answers

Sanity check re possible inappropriate touching by my mother

This has been gnawing at me for the last 30 years or so. I've thought about it from time to time but it has only been in the last week or so that I've really sat down and thought about it. [tw: possibly inappropriate touching] [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:03 PM - 34 answers

Alternatives to Goat-to-Meeting

A few months back, my company did a zoom call with a "goat-to-meeting" (or a very similar org) which is a humorous team event where a farm joins the zoom and you get to meet the animals and ask questions. They had alpacas and tortoises and other unusual rescue animals. It was a huge hit and we are now looking to do a spring team event and would like to find something as interesting and funny. Do any of you recommend any other quirky team meeting things like goat-to-meeting? Also open to any ideas for zoom team meetings that are not trivia, bingo, or stand-up comedy. Thank you!
posted by archivist at 12:48 PM - 9 answers

April 2

Need a recommendation for a sex therapist who can do telehealth.

Just what it says on the tin: my partner and I have a lot of tangled issues and layers of trauma, and I think we need a sex therapist to help us sort them out if we're ever going to have a sex life again. I very much doubt that I can find a good, queer-friendly therapist in our rural area, so I assume it's going to have to be telehealth, though I know that's probably not ideal for this kind of therapy. Bonus points if you know someone in Maryland, because that will probably help with insurance, but it's not a deal breaker.
posted by anonymous at 9:26 PM - 2 answers

Supporting a coding camper

I just cosigned a loan so my daughter (27) can go to coding camp. I know very well that cosigning anything is not a good deal for the cosigner. I am happy and proud of her that she's doing this, but not 100% sanguine. It is true that I am able to pay off the entire loan (though not all at once) should I need to. My question is: How up in her business should I be? [more inside]
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 2:51 PM - 25 answers

March 31

Tipping for Small Favors (when?, how much?)

Looking back on my life, I realize I've failed as a tipper and want to make amends. I'm particularly not sure about times you ask for what amounts to a favor from someone you're getting a service from. Would appreciate feedback on whether you'd tip and how much for following situations: [more inside]
posted by Jon44 at 7:20 AM - 12 answers

March 29

Therapy and resources to fight the green-eyed monster?

After a long period of denial and rationalisation, I’ve come to the painful realisation that I have control and jealousy issues that are long overdue for being addressed. But I don’t know where or how to start. [more inside]
posted by Riverside at 10:48 AM - 14 answers

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