Questions in the Human Relations category.
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May 23

Father not dealing with uncertainty of mother's bipolar Mania

I need short text message responses to my father who is unable to deal with not 100% knowing whether my manic mother is taking her new meds (we can't know). I need him off my back temporarily. We are estranged, he has a "fragile" ego, and when he gets an idea in his head HE DOES NOT STOP no matter how unrealistic it is. [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! at 2:00 PM - 16 answers

Friend got an offensive tattoo accidentally - Do I tell her?

My friend has gotten a tattoo with somewhat disturbing implications, and seems non the wiser about it. I worry that the visibility of it might cause issues for her should others recognize what it is. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:10 PM - 52 answers

May 22

My mom hated being a mom. How can I become a mom?

My mom didn't like being a mom, and it's a mental block in my own path to motherhood. (I am not pregnant but am considering it within the next 1-2 years.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:53 PM - 35 answers

May 21

How do I deal with a codependent mom who has a belligerent husband?

My mother is deeply codependent, in deep denial, and married to a belligerent man who is drunk every time we visit, dominates the conversation, and injects divisive politics into everything. We just had our umpteenth disastrous visit together, full of bad blood. Is there a reasonable way forward in family situations like this without cutting anyone off? [more inside]
posted by critzer at 4:24 PM - 11 answers

May 18

I'm a manager at work, I made a grievous error, help wanted

I am a manager at my job. We work remotely. This week my team is having an in-person offsite for team connection and bonding. I have high social anxiety even though I'm a manager. All day yesterday, I had been feeling bad because I'm not outgoing enough, not interesting enough, not really fitting in with the group, etc. In hindsight I think that was just my skewed perception and not reality, but unfortunately I couldn't see it then. [more inside]
posted by starpoint at 3:10 PM - 33 answers

I have taken in a sixteen-year-old. His parents are unmanageable.

My son's best friend has moved in with us. I love him, but his parents, who have agreed to the move, are unmanageable, and I'm wondering what advice people have for me. If you've ever done this, have you been able to establish any kind of enforceable agreement with the parents? Or do you have genius ideas for coping with the parents? [more inside]
posted by Well I never at 7:48 AM - 32 answers

good gift for hard times

What is a good gift by delivery for an old friend whose spouse left her with small children? I would be present if I could, but I am states away. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:02 AM - 11 answers

How do you know when you're good to try dating after a LTR breakup?

My relationship busted up in November. It was a long relationship and a pretty rough time. I'm lonely and want to dip a toe in the dating pool but I don't want to be a rebound mess. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:02 AM - 12 answers

May 17

Is It Ever a Good Idea to Reinitiate Contact?

A couple of weeks ago, I posted this question: I've been working extensively in therapy twice per week, practicing self-soothing, sitting in the discomfort, and learning how to detach. This has been very successful and life-changing already. I have a follow-up question. [more inside]
posted by Jangatroo at 8:36 AM - 43 answers

Refusing a raise

Have you and your partner ever been of two minds over a potential raise? My fiancée has been offered the chance to switch from contract to employee at a job he loves. It would be a 15-20% raise, considering the benefits that would be added and the time costs he’d no longer have to spend on taxes and the like. He is resisting, and I don’t understand. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:44 AM - 35 answers

May 15

how to make positive, supportive conversation

I am noticing (through ongoing therapy, medication, meditation, and more--these types of general, adjacent advice aren't helpful for this question) that friendly conversation skills like responding positively, giving compliments, and offering support do not come naturally to me. When I try, I come off as fake or sarcastic or hinting at god-knows-what. [more inside]
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 4:29 PM - 28 answers

May 14

reference etiquette

I left a PhD in academia and am now interviewing for new jobs in industry that require references. Is it ok to ask my old advisor for a reference? How do I put this reference into context for a new employer in industry? [more inside]
posted by icosahedron at 1:53 PM - 8 answers

Negative capability

I have an acquaintance. [more inside]
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 10:12 AM - 41 answers

Ghostwriter for my diary?

A lot has happened to me in the past couple years. A few friends have suggested "Write all this down! You're going to want to remember it", and I agree. But I hate writing! And I love talking. I wonder if there's some sort of way I could work with somewhere where I could talk through some of what's happened, and they could write it up. Sort of like a ghostwriter for a my own diary, or a memoir no-one reads like me. [more inside]
posted by ManInSuit at 7:41 AM - 16 answers

May 12

Data Sources for Sex over 65?

I am taking a psychology course in Contemporary Aging for my masters. I am doing a report on senior sex and about the challenges and joys found in sex after 65. I have found good anecdotal information in Joan Prices books. I am looking for resources that include research results. Any suggestions?
posted by goalyeehah at 3:46 PM - 5 answers

Would you refer to someone's step-siblings as their brother or sister?

I was with a teenager and sort of stumbled over how to refer to his step-brothers who were living in the same house. He seemed to take offense and replied "you mean my brothers?"--is that the normal usage these days?
posted by Jon44 at 4:57 AM - 25 answers

May 10

How do I forgive myself for hurting someone I love?

I did something selfish and stupid, and hurt the feelings of someone I love and care about deeply. Trying to cope with the consequences of my own actions. [more inside]
posted by Riverside at 7:58 PM - 14 answers

Asking a favor of a "business" acquaintance?

I'm looking for advice on a specific situation. I need to move out of a house and there's going to be a gap between leaving and start of new lease. I have two cats that need to be housed. There are pet-friendly apartment complexes that offer as short as 2 month leases but they are exorbitantly expensive, miserable, and the my sense is the situation could pose a real threat to the cats. [more inside]
posted by Jon44 at 9:50 AM - 8 answers

May 9

Etiquette question regarding dinner check

I’m curious to get people’s take on a situation I was involved in a few days ago at a restaurant where there were three of us for dinner. [more inside]
posted by That darn sock! at 4:28 PM - 23 answers

That's Not My Name

I have a relatively common name for my area. Let's say it's James and that I do not go by Jim at all. When I introduce myself as James, some people immediately say "Hi Jim! Nice to meet you!". Why? [more inside]
posted by Garm at 1:53 PM - 31 answers

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