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Couples with mixed nationality and residency who elected to combine households, how did you decide where to live? What factors were most important in your decision? How did you assess the total quality of life available for you as a couple in the locales you considered, and the financial implications of your choice? I am especially interested in situations where both members are mid-career age and already well established professionally and socially. Snowflakes about my/our personal situation within. [more inside]
posted by 4rtemis at 11:55 PM - 17 answers

I get extremely sad at night these days, and require as much light as possible. Even so, even when near people who love me & whom I love, I find myself filled with a horrible sense of uselessness, loneliness, doing the wrong thing, FOMO, and general doom that the current circumstances of my life are never-ending and change is impossible. How do I avoid extreme sadness at night, aside from going to be before sundown? [more inside]
posted by Hooray For Socks! at 9:31 PM - 26 answers

I'm having a hard time transitioning from sharing a bedroom with a close platonic friend for several months, to being in separate bedrooms in the same house. The house doesn't feel the same and I feel at a sort of a loss. I know this is silly but I'm having a hard time dealing with it and I'm not sure why. [more inside]
posted by Emms at 9:13 AM - 12 answers

Hello, I am very much steeped in our (Mefi, coastal, blue-state...) world and its open attitudes toward therapy, meditation, self-development, etc. I am interested in learning about how Americans who aren't part of my world talk about their difficulties. For example, a friend from the Appalachian region says that in her hometown, antidepressants are acceptable but therapy is absolutely not, because the medical model has taken hold successfully but only truly messed up people need therapeutic help (and also, meditation is considered prayer to a non-Christian god so it's no good). The problem I am trying to solve is how to translate some of the insights I have gained from transformational work into a language others can benefit from. The question I have for you: Do you know of communities online where you/your relatives/etc. go to discuss difficulties so that I can better understand people's language and mental models around these topics? I have found this approach to be helpful for me in the past in understanding more of how people think before speaking to them directly. Thank you! [more inside]
posted by namesarehard at 8:00 AM - 21 answers

Last week, I started attending AA meetings. Next week, I start seeing a counselor. About two months ago, I started dating a woman (I'm a cishet man) who lives about an hour away. I have not told her about my drinking problems. She's driving here for an overnight visit later today. Please help me sort through my thoughts about telling her. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:47 AM - 21 answers

Trans folks of all stripes: what internal factors led you to settle on the term trans(woman/man), non-binary, genderqueer, agender, trans(femme/masc), etc? I know the common descriptions of these terms, but I'm interested in personal narratives, especially for those who had trouble deciding which label to use, or switched at some point from one to another. What gave you clarity, inasmuch as you've found it?
posted by anonymous at 5:46 AM - 17 answers

I had planned a nice romantic trip with my partner and it ended badly. Wondering if I am in the wrong and if/how I should fix things. [more inside]
posted by pando11 at 2:06 PM - 32 answers

It was supposed to be just my niece and her boyfriend for the weekend, but boyfriend's vegan roommate is also here and niece didn't call to tell me he would be. We're at a lake house full of food but nothing for the poor kid to eat except for a cantaloupe and 4 ears of sweet corn. The closest supermarket is about an hour away, and I feel like I should go get him some stuff. (The three of them are outside drinking beer and doing bong hits, so it's only me or my wife who can go) Thoughts?
posted by BadgerDoctor at 1:18 PM - 91 answers

How do you effectively push back when people schedule events or professional conferences on Jewish, Muslim, etc. religious holidays? [more inside]
posted by marfa, texas at 10:05 AM - 6 answers

Does anyone know of any good advice columns written by Italians for Italians? Or advice forums on human relations like this one? Thanks for your help!
posted by poilkj at 5:09 PM - 1 answers

Stuck in a weird polyamorous pickle and not sure what a clear path might be. In a happy poly marriage, best friend is in a happy monogamous marriage, and have developed feelings for her that seem serious and won't go away. Poly people especially, please weigh in. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:53 PM - 22 answers

I'm not sure how to relate to people at my job. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:51 AM - 9 answers

I am the mom of a 10 month old weighing the possibility of going back to work full-time in the next few months. I feel like I know the benefits of having a career, but what about the benefits of staying home? [more inside]
posted by lakemarie at 5:29 PM - 24 answers

I fit all the criteria for Relationship OCD - something I'm currently looking for help for - which means I overanalyse whilst at the same time overlooking unacceptable behaviours because I've gotten myself into such a tizzy trying work out what is actually reasonable and rational. This means my gut is anxious a lot of the time and I don't think it's accurate. I'd appreciate your view on whether these behaviours seem like deal breakers to you. I am currently a little depressed which I know skews my perception of things. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar at 7:10 AM - 20 answers

After many years of not being happy in my relationship—neither of us being happy, as we’ve been exploring in couples therapy—I’m ready to finally end it. I have set a deadline for myself to have the talk this week. We live together, and are late 30s/early 40s, and it's been 7 years. No kids. I need help in the pre-move out, particularly for how to deal with the "landlord," which means my relatives (but not me in any way). [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:00 AM - 16 answers

I wish she had asked me first. Should I tell her that? [more inside]
posted by foxjacket at 9:16 AM - 17 answers

As someone for whom marriage is a future goal, I am looking for ethical advice about what happens when a marriage encounters really serious health problems. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:53 PM - 60 answers

How can I politely respond to the inevitable “how was your weekend?” that was in fact very shitty? [more inside]
posted by raccoon409 at 3:26 PM - 33 answers

I am exhausted from trying to keep up with my husband's inability to comprehend emotional labor. What does a woman do with a man who is is trying to be better, but seems incapable of it? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood at 4:52 AM - 22 answers

I found out this week that my husband cheated on me with a co-worker. He had confessed to the affair a few months earlier but had said that it was only emotional, not physical. I found out this week that it was. He is very contrite, sad, feels absolutely terrible and is doing everything he should to help me and us heal. I went through anger and extreme sadness for about a day or two, but now feel relatively calm and actually clear-headed that I want to work through this. This is, paradoxically, causing me to worry about my sanity. Should I not be angrier? Should I not still be raging, screaming, crying, feeling desperate? What is going on? [more inside]
posted by piranna at 12:42 AM - 30 answers