Questions in the Human Relations category.
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April 10

"What issue would you like me to address first?”

Hello, Hivers. I (45F) could really use your help to organize my thoughts today. I'm the same person who posted this. And since then, things have improved on that front; hubby (47 M) got off of Facebook and hasn't been back since. We've also been through one other major evolution since then, where he read through the entire emotional labor thread that someone was kind enough to PDF, and he's vastly improved with regards to claiming more ownership of general household domesticky things. Long story short, he's willing to put concerted effort into making things better, and things do subtly improve. However, I’ve still been finding myself really unhappy and sometimes at a loss at how to express myself… [more inside]
posted by Libelula y colibri at 12:09 PM - 36 answers

Is the way my mom touches/tickles our daughter weird?

My mom like to gently rub/caress my daughter's back and torso to help her relax, and my wife feels a bit uncomfortable with it. Help us figure out if there's anything objectively weird here that needs addressing, or if it's no big deal! [more inside]
posted by noboru_wataya at 6:42 AM - 54 answers

April 9

Growing Pains

A friendship is changing now that I have a better job (and more money) than my friend. Can you offer some perspective? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:26 PM - 18 answers

How to be sensitive about medical issues, while keeping my own sanity?

I have a family member who is often sick or injured. While the illnesses and injuries are nothing gravely serious, bad luck seems to befall them more often than most. They are also very dramatic about their pain and prognosis. I don't want to be insensitive or unsympathetic. But I am about to lose it. I need help figuring out how to manage my own frustration if there is no way to gently let this person know that they are being a diva. [more inside]
posted by keep it under cover at 1:50 PM - 29 answers

How do you respond to "Where do you want to go?"

I tend to freeze, delay, and deflect when people I want to spend time with ask me things like "Where should we meet?" or "What do you want to do when we meet?" I need ways to either interrupt my rumination and anxiety over responding, easy responses that work for you, or some combination of the two. [more inside]
posted by wakannai at 4:11 AM - 22 answers

We've averted a relationship crisis. How to keep it that way?

My wife and I recently had a crucial conversation where we aired a lot of things out and have started trying to improve our relationship. Things are better now, but how do I/we keep from falling back into the habits that led us to that point in the first place? More specific (and NSFW-y) details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:14 AM - 16 answers

April 7

Parenting a Teenage Niece

Our niece is coming to live with us for four years of high school starting in August. She is a strong student and believes she can get a much better education where we live than where she lives. She currently lives with her mom in her country of origin. [more inside]
posted by JXM368 at 6:55 PM - 18 answers

Next-level sympathy scripts

A recent AskMe highlighted the inappropriateness of meeting someone's bad news/ bid for sympathy with a "look-on-the-bright-side" response. Beyond the classic "That sounds terrible/ I'm so sorry", what else is there that's safe to say in these situations? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph at 7:55 AM - 31 answers

April 6

How to deal when people reflexively "Well, On The Bright Side…" me?

This has probably been happening my whole life, but recently it’s really gotten under my skin. I’ve noticed that some people in my life, upon hearing any kind of negative statement from me, or about any negative thing that has happened in my life, immediately respond with, "At least…" or "On the bright side.." in a way that makes me feel angry, diminished and as if I’m being implicitly told, "Shut up and stop complaining." I’m looking for good strategies to deal with this both internally and externally. [more inside]
posted by rogerroger at 11:52 AM - 24 answers

The Beach Slang song title "Bad Art & Weirdo Ideas" keeps coming to mind

Should I try to call and ask out the guy who I went on one date with before he ghosted me 3 weeks ago? Of course, there's... [more inside]
posted by o_O at 11:25 AM - 11 answers

April 5

Brain injury, mental health, and divorce. Your experiences, please?

My husband had a bad bike wreck last year. He shattered his shoulder, and that (understandably) got the most medical attention. But he also hit his head hard enough to split his helmet. Within two months, his personality shifted suddenly and completely. He's moved out, started a new life, and is racing us toward divorce as quickly as possible. If you've gone through something like this, do you have insights you can share? [more inside]
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 4:06 PM - 26 answers

How can I make online dating suck less?

I’m probably going to try dating again soonish, but I’m dreading the app process. I don’t mind the actual going on dates part (even when they’re not great dates). The things I hate most: the deluge of people who are unsuitable (zero commonalities) and the huge amount of time it seems to take to convert prospects into actual dates. What can I do to reduce those things? My details inside. [more inside]
posted by ocherdraco at 7:21 AM - 23 answers

April 4

How did you know your parents loved each other?

If you, as a kid (or even now as an adult), felt that your parents loved each other, were happy to be married, etc: what behaviors, rituals, ways of speaking etc that you observed between them made you feel that way? [more inside]
posted by Cozybee at 10:09 PM - 25 answers

How To Ask My Friend To Come Get His Dog

Help me firmly, but nicely, tell my friend his dog can't stay with us any longer. Details below. [more inside]
posted by WalkerWestridge at 5:33 PM - 21 answers

What to expect from CBT for EDNOS

What will seeing a therapist to treat an eating disorder be like? What specific things does CBT involve, particularly related to eating disorders in adults? What happens in a therapy session? What happens in between? How long will this go on for? Basically, give me "CBT for eating disordered dummies 101", please! [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:59 PM - 4 answers

Please help me escape or conquer this high school drama at work

I'm really frustrated with myself for not handling this better, and for not clearly understanding whether I am actually doing something wrong here. Help? Childish details inside. [more inside]
posted by crunchy potato at 1:54 PM - 14 answers

Devastated about being fired

I’m a physician. I just found out that I’m being fired because I’m “not a good fit”, and I’m absolutely devastated. [more inside]
posted by nightdoctress at 12:02 AM - 41 answers

April 3

How were you shown you were loved as a kid?

How were you shown, as a child (up to, say 18ish), that you were loved? Besides saying “I love you,” were there things that your family (or other important adults in your life) did to show you that you were loved and appreciated? [more inside]
posted by stillmoving at 3:16 PM - 53 answers

How to say "no" enabler edition

Tips sought on how to say "no" to an enabler without feeling terrible about it. [more inside]
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 11:13 AM - 12 answers

April 2

User-friendly, multipurpose, zeitgeisty and slightly shiny.

By which I mean Bronze! I need ideas for (vaguely) bronzed themed things to do in and about London in late June. Because it's my bronze wedding anniversary. [more inside]
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 6:06 AM - 19 answers

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