Questions in the Human Relations category.
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August 3

Really, we could just order pizza

My partner and I live very close to their parents, who often invite us over for dinner. Frequently this is just ordering out, but sometimes MIL likes to cook. However, she has significant attention and organization problems which results in dinner often not happening until several hours after the designated time. This is negatively affecting my partner's health, and we're trying to figure how to handle future dinner invites. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by undisclosed at 7:21 PM - 28 answers

What's a good way to "test" a friendship?

How do you know if someone's a true friend before they wreak havoc in your life? [more inside]
posted by fantasticness at 1:43 PM - 20 answers

Discussing the terrible book my father gave me with him?

The book is Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfil your potential by Dr Carol S. Dweck. How do I review this back to him? He's going to want to have a long, serious conversation about what I've learned from it. Sample: "Many females have a problem not only with stereotypes, but with other people's opinions of them in general. They trust them too much." [more inside]
posted by Acid Communist at 6:58 AM - 30 answers

My crush got outed, it isn't mutual, I'm embarrassed and can't avoid

I have had a crush on someone in my friend/hobby group. He has figured this out and told me it’s never happening, in the “I do like you but I have issues so I won’t date anyone” sort of way. I have obligations going on for the next two weeks in which I will be seeing him frequently. I don’t know what to do here. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:14 AM - 13 answers

August 1

Adult children at home without work or school

This MetaFilter thread discusses adult children who have chosen to stay at home with their parents without having a job or going to school for extended periods of time. I'm interested in hearing from families who have directly dealt with this or similar issues, where their adult children stayed in the home for six months or more by choice without a plan for work or school. What did you do to help support your child? What worked and what didn't? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:15 PM - 18 answers

July 31

Sensitivity about being the “face of diversity”

I don’t know who else to ask objectively, but I am beyond frustrated. I was asked to be the face of diversity for an all white-identifying volunteer group. Am I being too sensitive in my reaction? POC and IBPOC perspectives especially welcome. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms at 7:30 PM - 22 answers

How to keep sane as your country crumbles away

Looking for tips of how to protect my mental health when every bit of government-related news is extremely upsetting. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:35 PM - 6 answers

If a married friend propositions you, do you tell his wife (a stranger)?

Just what it says on the tin. [more inside]
posted by MiraK at 1:08 PM - 56 answers

How might my friend talk to her girlfriend about cultural appropriation?

“I am Mexican. My girlfriend is white. Something that has been bothering me is that her home has a lot of decorations that I find to be culturally appropriative. I am wondering how to have a conversation with her that would leave us both feeling good. More inside.” [more inside]
posted by baptismal at 8:45 AM - 30 answers

Not much contact from my date after sex. Should I be worried?

I've been seeing this guy for 5 dates in two months. We live 1.5 hours by car away. When we're together it's good but when we're apart I don't hear from him much. Shoul I be worried? [more inside]
posted by yellowpurplered at 2:28 AM - 15 answers

July 30

couples therapy, manipulation, and triggering

My spouse and I have had some troubles recently, so we started going to couples counseling. I'm pretty unhappy with how that's going, partially because I think there are some problematic aspects, but more importantly, because of the feelings those problematic aspects trigger in me. It makes me wonder whether the process can work at all, and if not, whether there's anything we can do to save our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:28 AM - 38 answers

July 29

la belle queer

What makes a good (queer) life? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish at 6:37 PM - 3 answers

Pronouns and go arounds

Trans and gender non-conforming people: how do you feel about being asked to say your pronouns in large group intros - when you're in a setting that is primarily cis gendered? [more inside]
posted by latkes at 6:36 PM - 21 answers

Etiquette after homicide

I am in the position of coordinating the post-death stuff - writing an obituary, planning a memorial, notifying others - for a relative who was recently killed by another relative. I have some questions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:48 PM - 21 answers

Resources for depressed women 55+

My mother is going through a particularly worrisome and severe bout of depression. She has a doctors appointment scheduled for tomorrow, thankfully. In the interim, she has expressed worry and sadness that she is unusual, weak, ridiculous, "not strong" like so-and-so, that her life is meaningless, etc. I have seen articles in the past that describe the unique difficulties faced by older women as they divorce, as their kids grow up and move away, as they retire from jobs and lose the activities that once gave them "meaning", as they find themselves more isolated (especially in small rural towns) and increasingly losing their support network. I think she might take some comfort in reading articles/books/anything that helps her feel less alone. Thanks!
posted by Anonymouse1618 at 12:02 PM - 6 answers

July 28

Okay, I have to ask: what's the deal with nose picking in Japan?

I am here, teaching kids down near Yamaguchi, and I've noticed more than of my few kids do this in class. Vigorously. And many many adults seem to have little to no shame about the act. Is this NOT a taboo here? And if so, is it going to be weird for me to come down on kids for doing it in my class? I don't want to be culturally insensitive. But I also don't want to gag. Thoughts?
posted by rileyray3000 at 9:01 AM - 9 answers

July 27

Queer signaling 101 for the bisexual woman

I’m a bisexual (or maybe pansexual? I don’t know, I just like people) cis woman, and there’s a lesbian woman at my gym that I’m interested in getting to know better and maybe asking out. Would it be weird or inappropriate for me to wear a rainbow headband as an attempt at signaling “Hey, I’m queer, too!”? At the same time, I don’t want her to assume I’m lesbian when I’m not.
posted by ocherdraco at 8:36 PM - 11 answers

Trust turned to mistrust over a camping trip...

My partner and I had made plans to go for a five-day camping trip this weekend. These plans were made back in February or March. Life has been really busy/stressful and I hadn't really thought about it at all until a week ago, I started having concerns that I was really not going to enjoy the trip for a multitude of reason (see below. I have been trying to talk to my partner about my concerns/anxieties. This upsets my partner. We ended up making agreement (my giving the trip a try in exchange for a ride to a nearby train station if I wasn't enjoying myself) that I realized a day later wasn't going to work for me. I talked to my partner about my feelings, and they are saying that I've broken a promise and very significantly broke their trust/would have to work hard to earn it back. I'm feeling very mixed. I'm not sure how to interpret the entire situation anymore. How badly did I mess this all up? [more inside]
posted by Thirty7Degrees at 7:48 AM - 69 answers

July 26

Protocol for Meeting Adopted Ukrainian Niece/Nephew in the US?

This year my expat brother and sister-in-law (who are longtime residents, fluent in Russian) adopted a brother/sister pair in Ukraine. We're meeting them next week at a family reunion. What's the protocol for my family to meet them to be loving, welcoming and respectful? [more inside]
posted by amoeba at 7:59 PM - 15 answers

Why does our ~3 year old have such a difficult time in group situations?

Our highly verbal toddler seems like she's progressing faster than other kids, in terms of intellectual milestones. And for all intents and purposes she seems like an average toddler. But when it comes to being in group situations, she has a really hard time. What's going on, and what can we do to help her participate? [more inside]
posted by summerteeth at 8:14 AM - 28 answers

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