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Locked Room Mysteries
I just finished reading The Mystery of the Yellow Room by Gaston Leroux. Please recommend some other clever locked room mysteries - any medium welcome.
How does one dress their body for bad weather?
I am a lady who enjoys spending time outdoors but does a poor job dressing for bad weather (rain, snow, etc). This has previously limited my hiking to clear weather in the spring and summer. I’d like to change this, but I don’t know how to dress myself properly.
Recommend podcast discussions of books, movies, and music?
Recently I have been enjoying podcast discussions or history of media that I have already consumed, usually from a progressive perspective, and I am running out of episodes to listen to. Examples are
- Marooned on Mars (leftist dissection of Kim Stanley Robinson’s writings)
- A History of Rock Music in 500 Songs (what it says on the tin, with lots of re-assessment of the role of gender and race in the story)
- Kill James Bond! (critiques of the Bond movies, and other spy/thriller/action movies)
Resources for helping a cis straight man understand perimenopause?
I am the person who is partnered with this guy. We've been together for more than a decade, but now I am perimenopausing. My periods are longer and more exhausting. My energy levels are low. My mental reserves got punched through with Long Covid. I am not the person he once knew, and he's annoyed with me. On paper, he's not wrong, but in the grand scheme of a lifetime, this is a phase that seems like it will be utterly annoying but temporary.
Does this kind of walking route app exist?
Hi everyone -- I'm walking more for fitness lately and I'm hoping to find an app with a very specific functionality: I want to be able to request a loop of 1, 3, 5 or more miles from a specific point, and then through some sort of GPS wizardry the app (or website) would automatically generate a map for a route that meets approximately that specific distance. Does this exist?
Seeking more weirdo’s hoards of treasures
My absolute favorite genre of museum/attraction is ”eccentric rich person’s oddly sorted collection of items related to their special interest(s).” I just spent part of today at the Mercer Museum and had an amazing time. What other museums, historic homes, or other attractions anywhere in the world might scratch a similar itch?
Falling in love one episode at a time
Point me to tv shows with good love stories, especially those that build up organically over time/episodes.
but I want to do the crossword.
I let my WSJ subscription lapse. Supposedly my local public library gives free access to the WSJ but it isn't letting me download or even see the crossword puzzle pdf. Are there other ways to get access to a printable pdf of WSJ crosswords (NYT would also do fine)? I don't necessarily need the latest one. (And don't come @ me about IP infringement, the amount of money I've unwittingly given them over the last couple of years after not noticing that my discounted subscription rate had changed without notice could power the sun.)
iOS games
I am sick and stuck in a hotel room with decent wifi, an iPhone and an iPad mini. Recommend me games I can download. I have a slight preference for games I can pay for that don’t sell my information or suck money away via in-app play-to-win purchases if those even exist now, other details under the cut.
Is there a middle way in dealing with a toxic situation?
I want to know if things we hear on MetaFilter and other psychological spaces such as: doing the Gray Rock method, cutting off ties with abusers, labeling one's self a child of emotional immature parents, all basic domestic violence literature in the west, narcissistic parents, etc. What does this look like through a multicultural lens? What do these things look like through a non-western lens?
Are there matriarchal ways and other cultural ways to deal with abuse?
Advice for starting a blog in 2023 (are blogs still a thing?)
I want to embark on a self improvement journey (specifically in terms of getting my finances in order and learning to be better with money) and the idea of blogging about my progress is appealing to me, but I'm not sure where to start.
Questions for and about mouth-breathers
A few times yesterday, during a procedure with the dentist, he instructed me to breath through my nose. No problem for me, but I've become aware there's some percentage of people who cannot, who say their sinuses are always blocked, and have been for decades, even "All my life." (I'm related to one.) Were you one of the permanently congested, whose problem was cured?
Your favorite literary quotes about the afterlife
I just finished reading The Goldfinch and the best part for me was the narrator's vivid imaginings of their deceased parent "on the other side." Can you suggest literary works that have memorable, poetic, vivid intimations of what the afterlife is like?
Excellent dentists in Alameda/Oakland/Berkeley?
Help! Went in for a root canal and dentist didn't put the crown back on bc the appointment went over time and the next patient was waiting. Had to reschedule. This was the final straw in years of bad bedside manner etc. Need to find someone great in Alameda, Oakland or Berkeley ASAP. Thanks!!
How normal is it to lose academic skills after almost a decade away?
Have gone back to school and am struggling to focus while reading (and am having a hard time even typing accurately!). Is this normal for adults in their 40s who’ve spent time doing more physically laborious work?
How annoying is your partner?
I'm wondering what's a reasonable amount to get annoyed with your partner? And what isn't, and means you should break up...
Oops, too much pumpkin
I have roughly 6–8 cups of pumpkin puree sitting in my fridge. How can I use it up? I've already used 2 cups to make a pasta sauce. Now I'm searching for other ideas. Just two restrictions, please: no soups, and nothing that requires eggs.
Looking for songs with just double bass and vocals
I really love Jaimie Branch's song The Mountain, and I'm looking for other songs which have vocals accompanied by a solo double bass. The only other one I can think of is Sam Cooke's version of Lost and Lookin' (which has some drums too). What are some other great bass-vocal duets?
A (hopefully fun) question about flirting
Many days on my way to work I walk pastthe same attractive man around my age who always smiles and says hello. How do I try to get to know him a little?
Student Loan Clarification
Are there outside organizations/non-profit who assist students in understanding the current state of their student loans.
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(sorry, but people in Africa and worldwide are dying in poverty and you are complaining about how too far and a chore it is to grab your food?)
I mean, you're complaining about... being asked to hang a key on a hook.
Sounds like they wanted to use the building's facilities and couldn't, because you were inconsiderate and put the key... [more]
posted by trig to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 1:38 PM
82 users marked this as a favorite
posted by trig to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 1:38 PM
82 users marked this as a favorite
Will very much wants kids (I'm not quite ready), and he would like Merlin to live that dream, too.
I can guarantee you that Merlin does not have that "dream." His urge is simply to feel good. He is oblivious to procreation. Forgive me, but your husband is acting like a dope. [view]
posted by Dolley to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 19 at 6:34 PM
74 users marked this as a favorite
posted by Dolley to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 19 at 6:34 PM
74 users marked this as a favorite
So on Wikipedia, deletions perceived as aggressive or hasty are often reverted. When the deleter is seen as a newcomer and the restorer has a long established rep (even as a loose canon inclusionist) , it's really hard to win this kind of edit war. Even when you are right and they are wrong. And an easy compromise "solution" like adding a... [more]
posted by SaltySalticid to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 7:27 PM
67 users marked this as a favorite
posted by SaltySalticid to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 7:27 PM
67 users marked this as a favorite
Good grief. Why on earth can he not find ways to educate himself on this subject? Nothing in your post explains why you have to spoon-feed this information to him.
Suggested script: "Sweetheart, go look for in-depth information online and offline about perimenopause so that you can understand what I'm going through. If you're lost, a... [more]
posted by MiraK to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 5:21 AM
66 users marked this as a favorite
posted by MiraK to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 5:21 AM
66 users marked this as a favorite
Long-established editor here. If you feel comfortable messaging me a link to the entry, I would be happy to remove unsourced and irrelevant crud from a bio. [view]
posted by zippy to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 9:54 PM
65 users marked this as a favorite
posted by zippy to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 9:54 PM
65 users marked this as a favorite
Mostly this all sounds like new roommate friction that should resolve once you start actually reliably keeping shared things where shared things should be andd she gets her stuff organized and figures out earplugs for the A/C. I’d just hang in there for a couple of weeks and see if this all resolves itself.
But I’m stuck on one thing: “you... [more]
posted by Stacey to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 1:30 PM
64 users marked this as a favorite
posted by Stacey to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 1:30 PM
64 users marked this as a favorite
The more time that passes in our relationship, I just get more annoyed
Save yourselves both (by this I mostly mean her) the hassle, and end this.
Your entire screed is about how she might change and somehow be better for you or something, but you wouldn’t engage with her about what this might mean (in such a manner as may be considered... [more]
posted by pompomtom to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 4:13 AM
58 users marked this as a favorite
posted by pompomtom to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 4:13 AM
58 users marked this as a favorite
Please allow me to introduce you to Dr. Jen Gunter and her book The Menopause Manifesto.
She does not suffer fools gladly, and I would suggest you don’t either. What you’re describing is not a lack of information but of empathy. Even if you were the only woman on the planet to experience things (you are so not), as your partner he should... [more]
posted by warriorqueen to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 6:13 AM
57 users marked this as a favorite
posted by warriorqueen to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 6:13 AM
57 users marked this as a favorite
Also, how do I prove those details wrong when it's impossible to prove a negative?
You answered your own question. Wikipedia does not allow original research - true or not. Wikipedia does not use "truth" or "falsehood" as a metric for articles - instead, they go off of verifiability. As you've said, those statements... [more]
posted by saeculorum to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 6:02 PM
57 users marked this as a favorite
posted by saeculorum to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 6:02 PM
57 users marked this as a favorite
It seems to me that your annoyance is beginning to boarder contempt —- seeing your girlfriend as immature or inconsiderate. This interpretation of your girlfriend’s actions either means you should end it or you need to work on changing your interpretation when you are annoyed. For example, based on your own description I can come up with multiple... [more]
posted by CMcG to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 4:16 AM
57 users marked this as a favorite
posted by CMcG to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 4:16 AM
57 users marked this as a favorite
I have used Airbnb a lot, and my personal experience is that places with bad reviews on Airbnb are bad. At this point I will not stay at a place with multiple bad reviews, no matter how nice the pictures, and especially if the host is arguing with people publicly. Any time I've deviated from this rule I have for sure regretted it.... [more]
posted by Mender to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 20 at 6:05 AM
55 users marked this as a favorite
posted by Mender to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 20 at 6:05 AM
55 users marked this as a favorite
This is a really uncharitable way to think about another person's needs and I would encourage you to think both about that attitude and what it's contributing to your living space, and the fact that "first world problem" is inherently a problematic, condescending frame. [view]
posted by sm1tten to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 4:40 PM
54 users marked this as a favorite
posted by sm1tten to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 4:40 PM
54 users marked this as a favorite
Will very much wants kids (I'm not quite ready), and he would like Merlin to live that dream, too. Ideally, he wants Gracie and Merlin to have puppies together.
Respectfully, I suggest that this is the actual main question here, and the situation with Merlin is a displacement of Will’s concerns that contributes significantly to his... [more]
posted by obliterati to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 19 at 4:45 PM
49 users marked this as a favorite
posted by obliterati to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 19 at 4:45 PM
49 users marked this as a favorite
I cant see how ‘doesn’t shower before dates’ and ‘PDA in front of colleagues’ adds up to ‘can't really care for and support me in the way I need.’
You listed a lot of actions — laughing, reaching, going to the bathroom — and call them a personality problem. But those aren’t personality traits, really. They’re just actions. Anyway, I think you... [more]
posted by meowmeowdream to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 5:52 AM
48 users marked this as a favorite
posted by meowmeowdream to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 5:52 AM
48 users marked this as a favorite
Do you have electricity/an electric kettle? Can you buy/order a large bucket and a measuring jug (not too heavy)? Best thing to do is to boil some water in the kettle, mix it in the bucket with cold water until it's a manageable temperature and then use the smaller measuring jug to dump it over yourself.
Source: Grew up in Asia, we often... [more]
posted by unicorn chaser to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 25 at 3:14 AM
46 users marked this as a favorite
posted by unicorn chaser to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 25 at 3:14 AM
46 users marked this as a favorite
I think I understand what you're getting at, that you want to treat your abusers with more empathy and compassion than to simply label them as "narcissists" and cut contact (even if it's just emotional contact)? While still protecting and nurturing yourself?
Yes, that's possible, imo. But not if you are being abused right now. There is... [more]
posted by MiraK to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 18 at 8:07 PM
46 users marked this as a favorite
posted by MiraK to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 18 at 8:07 PM
46 users marked this as a favorite
The other approach I've tried is to lightly joke and tease her about some of the things.
This sounds a bit mean to me. If my partner is teasing me, I want to be able to trust that it's about something they find mostly endearing, not truly annoying. [view]
posted by esker to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 5:58 AM
41 users marked this as a favorite
posted by esker to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 5:58 AM
41 users marked this as a favorite
As a counterpoint, aggressive responses to bad reviews often make me think badly of the business owner. I assume that's not always fair, but without being able to know what actually happened, I take it as a sign of the owner's overall approach, especially when they accuse the reviewers of things. [view]
posted by trig to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 20 at 5:34 AM
39 users marked this as a favorite
posted by trig to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 20 at 5:34 AM
39 users marked this as a favorite
It may sound petty but I would love if my friends got into moral "someone is wrong on the internet" battles on my behalf after I was gone. What a tribute to my memory.
You're being a good friend. Remove the incorrect statements. [view]
posted by phunniemee to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 7:10 PM
39 users marked this as a favorite
posted by phunniemee to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 23 at 7:10 PM
39 users marked this as a favorite
Anything that there is only one key allowed for should be kept in a common place. To be honest, you both sound kind of petty and not particularly compatible as roommates, but perhaps you can sit down and have a reset conversation about expectations and whatnot. [view]
posted by sm1tten to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 1:16 PM
38 users marked this as a favorite
posted by sm1tten to Ask MetaFilter on Sep 21 at 1:16 PM
38 users marked this as a favorite