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Popular Posts

Recommend me your favorite vegetable soups!

I would like to make vegetable soups this year. Recommend any primarily-vegetable soup - I cook mostly vegetarian but sometimes cook with meat for holidays.
posted by Frowner to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 9:04 AM
71 users marked this as a favorite

Women authors for an Updike/Vonnegut/Roth fan?

My friend and I were recently discussing books, and I jokingly mentioned he should try reading some women authors for once. He was a bit surprised to realize how little he'd actually read by women, and I was a bit stumped coming up with recommendations, as we typically read very different types of books. But the hive mind is great at this kind of stuff. Help me come up with suggestions?
posted by nothing as something as one to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 8:07 AM
54 users marked this as a favorite

Favorite Informational YouTube Channels?

I'm looking for your favorite YouTube channels to follow that are informational, educational, or historical in nature. I'm not interested in channels that are primarily comedic, but it's fine if they're humorous while being informative.
posted by gregoryg to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 6:58 AM
44 users marked this as a favorite

What does "overcoming" Childhood Emotional Neglect look like?

Through therapy and all that, I've come to the realization that a multitude of the feelings I've always had stem from childhood emotional neglect. All my material needs were taken care of, but my parents were otherwise pretty shitty. I've always had a hard time making friends and maintaining connections with people. I'm ready to start doing the work and attempt to make positive changes, but.. what does overcoming emotional neglect look like? Is it really not too late for me to make meaningful connections with people?
posted by Anonymous to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 10 at 11:41 PM
44 users marked this as a favorite

Fantasy/paranormal shows that aren't gory/miserable?

I'm looking for a new series to watch that has fantasy or paranormal elements but isn't super gory and doesn't leave me feeling depressed. I'm not having a lot of luck.
posted by brook horse to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 9:01 PM
41 users marked this as a favorite

Another call for best podcast EPISODES

I am not a podcast listener because I have a 10 minute bike commute and also am a terrible listener. However, I’m going to be driving for most of the next month, and would love to explore the world of podcasts. There are so many. Please recommend me the best INDIVIDUAL EPISODES of good podcasts. Anything goes, fiction, non-fiction, history, arts, tech, politics, comedy, absurdity, anything and everything else, but I have a slight preference for less chatty.
posted by Grandysaur to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 4:10 PM
36 users marked this as a favorite

How to deal with anxiety that's held in the body

I hold anxiety in my body. Sometimes I feel anxious and it's in my body and my mind, sometimes I don't think I'm anxious but my body still tenses as if I were (maybe I am.) Logic and thought-exercises like CBT (and talk therapy) have certainly been helpful for my anxiety in certain ways but seem to have a limited ability to help with this aspect. Looking for other/likely more physical strategies and perspectives.
posted by needs more cowbell to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 8 at 8:30 AM
35 users marked this as a favorite

Help me dress like the post-apocalyptic hedge witch of my dreams

My favored style aesthetic is your weird high school art teacher as styled by Ann Demeulemeester. Where should I be shopping (or, more likely, pining from afar) for clothes?
posted by helloimjennsco to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 5 at 1:16 PM
34 users marked this as a favorite

Turn left here, kids

What are some books -- fiction or nonfiction -- that will help very privileged kiddos develop a sense of empathy for and obligation to other people?
posted by goodbyewaffles to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 11 at 12:33 PM
31 users marked this as a favorite

How to be a good partner when you're the depressed one

Whenever I do a web search for, like, "how to be a good partner with depression," I get resources for how to support a depressed person. But I am the depressed person, and I'm looking for resources/advice on how to communicate with and support my partner while also taking care of myself. (That pretty much sums it up, but snowflakes below, of course!)
posted by adastra to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 11:00 AM
30 users marked this as a favorite

Great over-achievers who weren't monsters

Are there any examples of famous artists, scientists, leaders in history who weren't also dicks?
posted by storybored to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 10 at 10:11 PM
28 users marked this as a favorite

How to get started with free GIS tools

I've been thinking about trying to dabble with GIS in an urban setting. I'm not going to fork out for expensive tools, so I'm looking for free ones. I'm asking this as a complete noob - so I probably don't even know the right questions to be asking here - but my initial requirements are inside. Thank you!
posted by carter to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 6:18 AM
27 users marked this as a favorite

Detective Game Recommendations?

Please share with me your recommendations for good detective games to get caught up in! Details under the fold.
posted by Goblin Barbarian to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 4:14 PM
27 users marked this as a favorite

Seeking product for tense back muscles

My husband carries all his tension in his back and is always super knotty to the touch. Regular massages aren't in the budget right now, but I'd like to gift him a product he can use at home to help work out all the knots. Any recommendations? I looked through the options on Amazon, but if you have something tried-and-true, I'd love to hear about it.
posted by anderjen to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 3:42 PM
26 users marked this as a favorite

Bookfilter: Your favorite short(ish) reads

What are some of your favorite books that are less than 300 pages?
posted by Urban Winter to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 10 at 8:55 PM
22 users marked this as a favorite

Help me find books like Jesmyn Ward's Sing Unburied Sing.

I just finished Sing Unburied Sing and I could read the book again. It was stunning. Such gorgeous writing! I dislike magical realism (this book featured ghosts) but this person can really write.
posted by dostoevskygirl to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 6:24 PM
20 users marked this as a favorite

Negotiations with bullies and other unreasonable people

Are there any effective negotiation tactics when dealing with people who refuse to compromise or explain unreasonable demands, bully and threaten, deny facts, and other similar methods? If I can avoid those kinds of people I do, but it's not always possible (professional contexts, not personal relationships).
posted by sepviva to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 11 at 1:59 PM
19 users marked this as a favorite

Funny surreal absurd non-political Twitter accounts to follow?

I want to escape angry political Twitter and read more funny, absurd, non-political accounts. Who should I follow?
posted by deern the headlice to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 5 at 6:01 PM
18 users marked this as a favorite

Meal plans with more diverse recipes

Seeking meal plan sites that will help with the whole "here's your recipes for the week plus a shopping list" thing - but with options that's more than just Northern Hemisphere White People Food.
posted by divabat to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 8 at 10:50 PM
18 users marked this as a favorite

Weird fiction roundup!

I'm looking for links, less so books (though excellent collections can make the cut, I am just on a book diet) to weird fiction short stories!
posted by zinful to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 12:48 PM
17 users marked this as a favorite

Posts

Popular Comments

They absolutely need to know. Here are my thoughts on a previously; probing your answers is fair and reasonable. "How do you know?" is the least assumptive and most inclusive way to get the information you medical practitioner needs to deliver healthcare to you. [view]
posted by DarlingBri to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 4:44 PM
100 users marked this as a favorite

The thing is, the nurse does not want to know ANY of the potential follow up questions you suggested. The nurse just wants to know "is the reason you think you are not pregnant a legitimate reason that a medical professional would agree with (eg. I'm not sexually active, but could be any number of other things), or a reason that seems logical... [more]
posted by Ausamor to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 5:07 PM
94 users marked this as a favorite

I know you're likely going to put this in the "not possible" pile, but I really do think he should consider just mailing the keys back to the lender and walking away from the mortgage. House cracking down the middle? Sinkhole? These things alone are really enough to say "you know what? Its not worth it." and walk away.... [more]
posted by anastasiav to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 10:17 AM
85 users marked this as a favorite

I say this as someone who is totally awkward myself: You are not socially adept enough to be having these conversations, and you are almost certainly making other people uncomfortable, and the way to fix this is to stick to topics that don't require navigating this kind of thing. Stick to safe small talk until you actually *know* how a person is... [more]
posted by Sequence to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 10:07 PM
68 users marked this as a favorite

Of course not. I was shocked by his question and just got silent. this is when it got weird (I will not speak to the question of whether it was appropriate to look to matchmake within the office in the first place because I have opinions but am not a policymaker.) there is no "of course" about it unless you expected him... [more]
posted by queenofbithynia to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 9:01 PM
60 users marked this as a favorite

It's funny, because it's sort of an inversion of the "maker ethos" that my depression surviving grandmother taught me I'm also into colonial crafts, and sometimes make my own butter. When I was 25, I bragged to everyone how much better it tasted than the commercial stuff. When I bragged to my friend's 90-year-old grandmother,... [more]
posted by Melismata to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 11:12 AM
58 users marked this as a favorite

Then my partner tried to bring the dog back to the scene of the crime to scold her. Please don't ever do this again. From your dog's perspective, she was being scolded for being where she was standing. There's no chance whatsoever she was connecting her punishment to an earlier behavior. Dog brains don't work this way. [view]
posted by xyzzy to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 6:24 AM
56 users marked this as a favorite

Another angle on what everyone else is already stating so well: I never get the “but are you suuuuuure you’re not pregnant?” follow-up, and it’s either because (a) I’m 35 and nulliparous in a region where most folks breed much earlier and/or (b) my job/education/other demographic factors give providers some sort of confidence that I wouldn’t... [more]
posted by armeowda to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 6:06 PM
55 users marked this as a favorite

Are you married to either of my exes because I lived through the same thing twice and in both cases, had to DTMFA (after counseling didn't work) because it spoke to a far larger issue. Both times, they didn't have jobs and spent their time playing tennis or golf or video games and as they would remind me, they had depression.... [more]
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 12 at 2:40 AM
54 users marked this as a favorite

I don't think it matters if I live on the property or not. I go there with my husband and dogs. I don't want to run in to someone on my property. I didn't put all my money into buying a $65k plot of land to share with other people. I want it to be private. There are hundreds of acres around us that belong to the sellers, people can continue to... [more]
posted by 256 to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 8 at 10:01 AM
52 users marked this as a favorite

You are interpreting “How do you know” as -“Oh, really, now? Tell me more about your sex life...” They likely mean, “How do you know,” as a version of: “What evidence leads you to feel confident that you’re not accidentally or unexpectedly pregnant?” How you answer THAT question does matter a lot because you’d be surprised by how many folks... [more]
posted by pinkacademic to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 9 at 5:15 PM
49 users marked this as a favorite

What you did was odd and this guy reacted to your odd behavior with a perfectly reasonable response. You had a conversation about fixing up your friend with your work colleagues and then you marched down to this guy's desk and ambushed him. This is strange behavior during the work day when people are supposed to be working. And normally when... [more]
posted by k8t to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 8:48 PM
46 users marked this as a favorite

I have done this in the last few years, to some extent (most of it was overcoming long-standing depression-related stuff, but a significant component of the depression was childhood emotional neglect/abuse-related). Intimacy, getting in touch with your emotions and connecting with more people are going to be absolutely key, so keep working on... [more]
posted by terretu to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 11 at 3:15 AM
44 users marked this as a favorite

Florida is a strategic default state, so worst case scenario, he can jingle mail the keys back and let the bank deal with the house and the sinkhole. Strategically, he'd be best off to stop paying the mortgage, save up the mortgage payments for a few months, and use them as a deposit for a new rental. But if he can afford to rent without needing to... [more]
posted by DarlingBri to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 7 at 11:13 AM
41 users marked this as a favorite

You are not wrong. You feel how you feel. This would be a deal breaker for me, because I am opposed to sport killing and this was sport killing. Your boyfriend wasn't working vermin control while he was in NZ on holiday; he shot possums because he wanted to kill animals. And giving you the possum scarf is just sadistic, really. I think this is... [more]
posted by hurdy gurdy girl to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 12:44 AM
40 users marked this as a favorite

He knows your feelings on the matter, you've had an argument specifically about fur and he returns from a trip where he hunted and killed animals (without telling you) and then he gives you a possum fur scarf? That is some seriously tone-deaf behaviour to put it mildly. It is 100% OK for you to feel upset, by what he does, how he communicates it... [more]
posted by jontyjago to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 12:42 AM
40 users marked this as a favorite

I do think he was in the wrong to not respect your feelings but as a little context for everyone reading, possum fur clothing is one of the highest profile tourist items in NZ. Every tourist shop promotes it heavily. It's seen as the souvenir to buy loved ones, especially women. And it's not made clear on labels or in shops that it is derived from... [more]
posted by lollusc to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 1:21 AM
40 users marked this as a favorite

This is totally fear aggression/ fear resource guarding. Yelling at her is only reinforcing it's something to be aggressive about, scolding her afterwards means nothing to her & will confuse her & now you are scary people that randomly yell at her so now I have to guard my food even more because these people are unpredictable. Chances... [more]
posted by wwax to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 6 at 7:03 AM
39 users marked this as a favorite

I've been a rural teenager, and No Trespassing signs appearing on unused land that I was used to traipsing through were certainly seen as a moral affront. I'm not saying that they were right to tear down your signs. They weren't. But it was almost certainly done more out of a sense of teenage defiance than actual malice. I will also say, that... [more]
posted by 256 to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 8 at 9:30 AM
39 users marked this as a favorite

That sign is pretty aggressive. And you're being pretty aggressive here, too. I understand that you're angry and uncomfortable with what you feel is a (potentially dangerous) violation of your personal space--but apparently, just suggesting that it might be teenagers, that it might resolve itself, or that you might handle this by making... [more]
posted by Kutsuwamushi to Ask MetaFilter on Dec 8 at 10:10 AM
39 users marked this as a favorite