Recommendation for a therapist for relationship indecision

February 8, 2025 9:33 PM

I’m looking for a therapist who specialises in relationship OCD or relationship anxiety/indecision. I’d like to do telehealth/Zoom consults, so they could be anywhere in the world.

I have some pretty severe relationship anxiety, possibly relationship OCD (which is basically OCD, but where you obsess over whether your relationship is right for you). I tried seeing a marriage and relationship psychologist, but she just really didn’t understand where I was coming from and hadn’t actually heard of relationship OCD. I also saw a general OCD psychologist. Although he had heard of relationship OCD, he wasn’t confident that this was my problem, but admitted that he didn't normally work with clients on relationship issues (he referred me on to the above-mentioned relationship psychologist). So, I'm not sure what to do next, but I feel like I would really benefit from someone who is a specialist in relationship indecision and anxiety and has kind of "seen it all" here.

Unfortunately, my problem is just sufficiently weird that I don’t think most therapists know what to say about it. I basically am in a happy long-term relationship, but have had off-and-on doubts which I can’t resolve. But the doubts are very amorphous, sometimes just being a feeling of something “not being right”. I’ve thought about leaving a few times, but in the end I can’t bring myself to leave someone I adore based on the oscillations of my admittedly very neurotic brain.

Obsessive googling and reading books hasn’t helped this, and so I really just want to find someone who can work with me to sort it out.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (4 answers total)

Have you looked into nocd? I haven't used it but it's been recommended to me by professionals I respect. I think it's basically an online therapy service specialized in ocd and their website seems to cover many many subtypes.
posted by Gravel at 10:51 PM on February 8

Have you looked into Internal Family Systems therapy? Seems like a therapist well versed in that method could help you speak to the parts of yourself that are raising these concerns.

If you are in the US, you would need a therapist licensed in your state, regardless of whether they're meeting you in person or online. I think you'll get more helpful answers if you share a location.
posted by equipoise at 10:54 PM on February 8 [1 favorite]

Hey I am a therapist who is trained in and treats OCD and anxiety regularly! I can also recommend NOCD (I am at a higher level of care than regular outpatient, but a lot of my patients start there and have good experiences). I can also recommend Anxiety Specialists of Atlanta. Even if you are not in Georgia, a number of their therapists are PSYPACT providers (https://www.anxietyspecialistsofatlanta.com/psypact-therapists/).
posted by Mouse Army at 6:17 AM on February 9 [1 favorite]

I think you should definitely call around to more actual OCD specialists. This is a kind of intrusive thought which should be their bread & butter.
posted by haptic_avenger at 6:26 AM on February 9