Dress a mother for a wedding.
April 21, 2019 11:01 PM Subscribe
Son's/DiL wedding will be in mid-July in WI. I need to find a dress that makes me happy and comfy so I'm not self conscious when I celebrate them. I want a fun mother of the groom party dress!
Givens: in my early 50s, reddish shoulder length hair, pear-shaped body, size 20/22 dress, depending on snugness of fit. I look best in gem tones. Extremely self conscious about bat wing upper arms so 3/4 length sleeves are best, a little sensitive about wide thighs, so nothing too fitted. My narrow(ish) waist is probably the best feature to accentuate - that, and my bustline.
Here are a few dresses that caught my eye in a good way:
#1
#2
#3
Most mother of the bride/groom dresses I've found so far seem awfully stuffy, not interested in those. Ideas?
Givens: in my early 50s, reddish shoulder length hair, pear-shaped body, size 20/22 dress, depending on snugness of fit. I look best in gem tones. Extremely self conscious about bat wing upper arms so 3/4 length sleeves are best, a little sensitive about wide thighs, so nothing too fitted. My narrow(ish) waist is probably the best feature to accentuate - that, and my bustline.
Here are a few dresses that caught my eye in a good way:
#1
#2
#3
Most mother of the bride/groom dresses I've found so far seem awfully stuffy, not interested in those. Ideas?
Did you see this one, which popped up in the "you may also like" category?
posted by slidell at 11:45 PM on April 21, 2019
posted by slidell at 11:45 PM on April 21, 2019
You will be a bombshell in #1!!!
posted by Hermione Granger at 12:06 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Hermione Granger at 12:06 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
The first one is truly stunning in green. it's very low cut though so you'll need to make sure that you're happy with how it looks on you. It's also potentially more autumnal-y in that colourway but could equally read as sophisticated. If you do buy it you might want to try it with the crinoline as well - that would help emphasise your small waist. Similar-ish in style but in red is this dress from House of Foxy.
The second dress is a bit less stunning. It's a nice cocktail dress and is probably the more predictable option (Kiyonna being a go-to motb/motg brand).
The third dress gives a good 'garden party' vibe. It might feel a little too casual depending on the fabric. And of course is very dependent on whether you look good in yellow (most people I know who look best in jewel tones do not look very good in yellow).
posted by plonkee at 1:45 AM on April 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
The second dress is a bit less stunning. It's a nice cocktail dress and is probably the more predictable option (Kiyonna being a go-to motb/motg brand).
The third dress gives a good 'garden party' vibe. It might feel a little too casual depending on the fabric. And of course is very dependent on whether you look good in yellow (most people I know who look best in jewel tones do not look very good in yellow).
posted by plonkee at 1:45 AM on April 22, 2019 [3 favorites]
#1 is absolutely perfect, go order it now!
posted by humph at 2:22 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by humph at 2:22 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
My mom ended up finding her bright blue MOB dress at Macy’s on the clearance rack. She had run a bunch of ideas by me (that she wasn’t happy with, I had OKed several) until she found the one she liked. The important thing is that run it by the bride and groom to make sure it fits their overall vibe, because you want a cohesive look for the photos.
posted by DoubleLune at 4:50 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by DoubleLune at 4:50 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
#1 is magic. The others (and most of their ilk) are blah and more blah. Get #1 and rock that wedding! That style of dress of made for comfort AND wow factor. Can't get much better than that. Enjoy!
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 6:15 AM on April 22, 2019
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 6:15 AM on April 22, 2019
Nthing no 1 - that’s the most fun one of the three.
posted by koahiatamadl at 6:25 AM on April 22, 2019
posted by koahiatamadl at 6:25 AM on April 22, 2019
I have #1 in black and similar clothing preferences to yours and can verify that it is a knockout of a dress! Plus it’s really comfortable! If you decide to order the crinoline through Unique Vintage make sure that the crinoline length is less than the skirt because on me it was about 4 inches too long and I ended up having to get another through Amazon.
posted by corey flood at 6:28 AM on April 22, 2019
posted by corey flood at 6:28 AM on April 22, 2019
I like no. 1, but personally, I'd end up feeling self-conscious because of how low cut it is. That will be hard to tell without trying it on. And maybe that wouldn't bother you at all.
I'm about your size and have the same upper-arm concerns, and when I was the mother of the groom a few years ago, I ordered about ten different dresses from Nordstrom to try them on. They have a super easy and free return policy, so I would order three or four at a time and then figure out which one I liked best and send the rest back. There was sometimes a big discrepancy between what I thought would look good on me and what actually did. You can also limit searches by sleeve length, which is nice. Here's an example of one that seems to fit your basic aesthetic. I ended up with two dresses I really liked, and used one for the rehearsal dinner.
posted by FencingGal at 7:47 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'm about your size and have the same upper-arm concerns, and when I was the mother of the groom a few years ago, I ordered about ten different dresses from Nordstrom to try them on. They have a super easy and free return policy, so I would order three or four at a time and then figure out which one I liked best and send the rest back. There was sometimes a big discrepancy between what I thought would look good on me and what actually did. You can also limit searches by sleeve length, which is nice. Here's an example of one that seems to fit your basic aesthetic. I ended up with two dresses I really liked, and used one for the rehearsal dinner.
posted by FencingGal at 7:47 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
#1 is beautiful but I personally would not choose it as a mother of the groom dress. (At least, I wouldn’t want to dance with my son in it, and I would be a bit afraid to come off as too much of a bombshell at someone else’s wedding).
I agree with plonkee about the other two, though I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going with the predictable option.
posted by stoneandstar at 9:13 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
I agree with plonkee about the other two, though I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going with the predictable option.
posted by stoneandstar at 9:13 AM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]
Couple of other options, just because I love this kind of research task:
-This in the "Hunter Green" color, which on my screen reads as teal
-This Tahari in Ink (which read as purple to me) is a little on the plain side but I'd wear some sparkly jewelry (maybe a stack of sparkly bangles); Tahari makes such nice dresses
-This in the sapphire blue is classic but (I think?) still fun with the lace
-Not sure if this is too casual but I just love the print and think this green is more on the summery side
-This in Royal Sky is stunning (but more expensive)
Let us know what you pick and have a wonderful time!
posted by CiaoMela at 9:45 AM on April 22, 2019
-This in the "Hunter Green" color, which on my screen reads as teal
-This Tahari in Ink (which read as purple to me) is a little on the plain side but I'd wear some sparkly jewelry (maybe a stack of sparkly bangles); Tahari makes such nice dresses
-This in the sapphire blue is classic but (I think?) still fun with the lace
-Not sure if this is too casual but I just love the print and think this green is more on the summery side
-This in Royal Sky is stunning (but more expensive)
Let us know what you pick and have a wonderful time!
posted by CiaoMela at 9:45 AM on April 22, 2019
I agree, #1 is gorgeous. You can make a little lace insert for the bust if it seems too low-cut.
With your shape, I'd definitely go for a fit-and-flare silhouette--much more fun, and WAY more comfortable than a sheath!
I'd avoid an all-over lace dress unless you find something really great; at this point I think it feels a bit cliche for a mother-of-the-X dress, and you sound like you're a fun person!
Maree Pour Toi has some beautiful plus-size dresses --maybe a wrap dress like this or this one with the center twist? Oooh, or this one is glam AF.
posted by exceptinsects at 10:04 AM on April 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
With your shape, I'd definitely go for a fit-and-flare silhouette--much more fun, and WAY more comfortable than a sheath!
I'd avoid an all-over lace dress unless you find something really great; at this point I think it feels a bit cliche for a mother-of-the-X dress, and you sound like you're a fun person!
Maree Pour Toi has some beautiful plus-size dresses --maybe a wrap dress like this or this one with the center twist? Oooh, or this one is glam AF.
posted by exceptinsects at 10:04 AM on April 22, 2019 [2 favorites]
No. 1! (Proceeding to open other links.) Oh, definitely, the Unique Vintage number!
If the neckline is too revealing on you, your tailor can close it up a bit or put in a lace panel / solid-color insert.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:37 AM on April 22, 2019
If the neckline is too revealing on you, your tailor can close it up a bit or put in a lace panel / solid-color insert.
posted by Iris Gambol at 11:37 AM on April 22, 2019
Have you looked on eshakti? They'll customize anything to give you the sleeve length and/or neckline you prefer... I have similar body size and shape and have had great luck with them.
posted by AliceBlue at 1:23 PM on April 22, 2019
posted by AliceBlue at 1:23 PM on April 22, 2019
#1 is great but definitely check in with the couple on things like the color scheme. I tend to agree with some of the concerns about the neckline and not being "too much of a bombshell at someone else's wedding." (But there's always the rehearsal dinner!)
I also think #2 is a solid option -- neutral colors, a shape that is flattering without making you the center of attention. But it's not jewel tones if you really want that.
posted by slidell at 3:13 PM on April 22, 2019
I also think #2 is a solid option -- neutral colors, a shape that is flattering without making you the center of attention. But it's not jewel tones if you really want that.
posted by slidell at 3:13 PM on April 22, 2019
Response by poster: Thank you so much for the feedback! I've ordered the first one in both emerald and eggplant, with a petticoat, and I'll pick whichever color looks best. I do have fashion tape to prevent anything from peeking out, so that base is covered. Easy to find shoes to go with it.
The wedding is very casual by traditional standards, and from what I know of the color palette it will accommodate either color.
stoneandstar, I hadn't thought about the dance I'll have with my son and after reading your comment I burst unexpectedly into tears at the tenderness I feel toward him, and toward them, and the reminder that this will be a thing. Thank you so much for mentioning it, if only for the 'be prepared with waterproof mascara' factor.
posted by mcbeth at 7:15 AM on April 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
The wedding is very casual by traditional standards, and from what I know of the color palette it will accommodate either color.
stoneandstar, I hadn't thought about the dance I'll have with my son and after reading your comment I burst unexpectedly into tears at the tenderness I feel toward him, and toward them, and the reminder that this will be a thing. Thank you so much for mentioning it, if only for the 'be prepared with waterproof mascara' factor.
posted by mcbeth at 7:15 AM on April 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by mochapickle at 11:07 PM on April 21, 2019 [8 favorites]