Applied for a new job, but I like my old job too.

April 7, 2019 1:55 AM

I am interviewing for a new job. I like my old job and do not want to burn bridges. When should I tell my manager?

I currently work/live in the Copenhagen/Malmö area, and I have been working at my job in the tech sector for the past roughly two years. I like the company I work for, I like my manager and my coworkers, all is well in those regards. However, I recently saw a job posting for a job that is much closer to my education background and is somewhat closer to a "dream job". I applied, and I have been asked in for the second round of interviews in a few weeks.

When and what should I tell my current manager? I would want them to be a reference, and I also do not want to burn any bridges in case I either do not get this job or if I were to want to come back to my current job within a few years.

I should note that I am not really looking for other jobs; it's really just this one job fits my interests and skills so well that I could hardly not apply,

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (6 answers total)

If you get the job, give 2 weeks notice (or whatever the local norm) and always be prepared, morally and financially, to leave on that day. Say "I've had an opportunity to move into a new position which is in line with my career goals," or similar, and let them know that you enjoyed working there and value the experience you've gained and the people you've worked with. This is a message that should be delivered in person in addition to in your resignation letter.

You can then add that you would like very much to keep them as a reference. It's up to the manager, or any other specific people, to accept your request. It's not unusual for them to be upset, and to take it as a personal affront, that you're leaving them -- they're human, they may be unhappy with the task of replacing you that is being thrust upon them.

If you can make a specific plan to train your replacement (someone who works there already) or assist in your remaining time there with hiring and training a new employee, offer that plan, and any other assistance to that end that you can offer. You basically want to soften the blow of your loss.

And then ask if they'll view your time there favorably enough to keep the door open if you want to return in the future. Again, you may not get the answer you want, because they may be personally hurt by your decision to leave them. I don't know if the particular local culture is such that you should expect them to take your departure as an affront to some loyalty to the company, but even if it's abnormal, you may experience that.

The door to return may be closed forever, and they may just want you out of their sight; it's been known to happen, so be prepared.
posted by Sunburnt at 2:33 AM on April 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

The above describes something very foreign to my experiences (living and working in Sweden). For the first thing, check your notice-time, unless you are on some sort of American contract your notice is likely in terms of months not weeks. It’s unclear if you want to use your present manager as a reference for this job or going forward? PM me if you like and I can feed that info back into the thread. What nationality/work culture is your manager. My experience is that people are expected to move around in their work lives, that the chance of a “dream job” is something that shouldn’t be passed up on. It’s also not necessarily expected that you have your most recent job as your reference. However, I have absolutely been in position where I have asked my present boss to be a reference for my next one. Long story short, if you mean reference in the future, tell your boss once you have accepted the offer. If you need them sooner, you should start speaking to them around the time of the invite to the second interview, say a friend tipped you about a position and you couldn’t not apply or similar, let them have their say, they will probably wish you luck, then you can ask if they could imagine beings reference person for you. This is all from my Swedish norms though, if it’s Danish, who knows! How long have you worked there?
posted by Iteki at 2:49 AM on April 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

How long have you worked there?

The poster mentioned working there for two years.
posted by M. at 3:24 AM on April 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

The normal process is:

1) They make you an offer verbally.
2) If you accept they make you an offer in writing.
3) You tell your current boss and hand in a resignation letter.
4) They then ask your boss for a reference.

In theory if the reference was really bad the new company could withdraw the offer, but that would be something like lying about the fact you work there or massively misrepresenting your current role.

Do not resign until you have the offer in writing, recruiters will often try to speed up the process and skip the paperwork.
posted by Lanark at 7:29 AM on April 7, 2019 [5 favorites]

This was very much me, recently. I did things much the way Sunburnt and Lanark suggest, and the morning I had an offer in hand, told my employer something very much like what you told us: love this job, but cannot pass up that opportunity. It went over well (going-away party in addition to a good reference), but it helped that I was not going to work for a competitor and that I was able to give them a month's notice (which is a lot for the USA).
posted by lordcorvid at 10:02 PM on April 7, 2019

I am in the UK, I have a 3 month notice period and I wouldn't tell my boss until I was ready to hand in my notice (as in, I have an offer in writing). I would expect to work out my notice period. My organisation would do a standard confirmation of dates type reference.

In my workplace, people think it is normal to leave for a new job after 2 or more years and so a resignation wouldn't be considered odd or otherwise noteworthy.
posted by plonkee at 5:42 AM on April 8, 2019