Former manager unfriended me on LinkedIn and removed recommendation
April 10, 2019 1:19 AM Subscribe
I had a former manager who had nothing but praise for me while I worked for them- and they also only gave glowing reviews of me to their manager. They wrote a wonderful recommendation for me on LinkedIn that was full of compliments. They've since moved on to a different organisation. Today I saw that not only are we no longer connected on LinkedIn, they've removed the recommendation. They're still active on LinkedIn, just not with me.
I'm confused as to what I've done wrong and what's caused this change. I spoke to their manager and they were as puzzled as I was.
I'm confused as to what I've done wrong and what's caused this change. I spoke to their manager and they were as puzzled as I was.
According to LinkedIn's documentation on removing connections, "after removing a connection, any recommendations or endorsements between you and that person will be withdrawn." Your former manager may not even be aware that the recommendation was removed. For that matter, they might have just removed your connection by accident, and they may not even know about it yet. Have you gotten in touch with them yet to find out what's going on?
posted by J.K. Seazer at 1:31 AM on April 10, 2019 [13 favorites]
posted by J.K. Seazer at 1:31 AM on April 10, 2019 [13 favorites]
They might be trying to distance themselves from that organization, cutting ties and clearing away written evidence.
That would make more sense if they're no longer connected with other people from that organization on LinkedIn.
Have you gotten in touch with them yet to find out what's going on?
Is that a level of awkward you're willing to endure? Effectively asking your former manager why they unfriended you on social media?
People rewrite their narratives of people all the time, even those they once praised. It might not have anything to do with you specifically, it's just that they've reflected on their past a bit more after having experiences with different colleagues and re-evaluated things. Best to move on, remember that kudos are ephemeral, and maintain an arsenal of other people to give you good references.
posted by blerghamot at 1:47 AM on April 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
That would make more sense if they're no longer connected with other people from that organization on LinkedIn.
Have you gotten in touch with them yet to find out what's going on?
Is that a level of awkward you're willing to endure? Effectively asking your former manager why they unfriended you on social media?
People rewrite their narratives of people all the time, even those they once praised. It might not have anything to do with you specifically, it's just that they've reflected on their past a bit more after having experiences with different colleagues and re-evaluated things. Best to move on, remember that kudos are ephemeral, and maintain an arsenal of other people to give you good references.
posted by blerghamot at 1:47 AM on April 10, 2019 [3 favorites]
I strongly encourage you to take this question to Ask a Manager, because Alison Green has expertise that many of us on the green will not have. I, personally (former mid-level manager), would send a neutral note asking the former manager via email rather than LinkedIn asking if sht/hey would feel comfortable if you continue to use the recommendation and/or use them as a reference now that you are no longer connected on LinkedIn.
If you get no answer, that's an answer. If the person did not realize that the recommendation disappeared, that is an opportunity for the person to realize it and respond however they want. LinkedIn is not "social media" in the way that Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. are social media. It is a business tool, and for many people, it is a critically important business tool.
Given the context, I think it is fine to neutrally and professionally ask your former manager about being able to continue to use that recommendation and/or use them as a reference. You should not take the person's choice personally, but why not ask this one specific question? I don't see how that can harm you. Moreover, it may reveal a misunderstanding or mistake. There may be a downside that I don't see, however, which is why you should probably consult Ask a Manager. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 4:03 AM on April 10, 2019 [20 favorites]
If you get no answer, that's an answer. If the person did not realize that the recommendation disappeared, that is an opportunity for the person to realize it and respond however they want. LinkedIn is not "social media" in the way that Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. are social media. It is a business tool, and for many people, it is a critically important business tool.
Given the context, I think it is fine to neutrally and professionally ask your former manager about being able to continue to use that recommendation and/or use them as a reference. You should not take the person's choice personally, but why not ask this one specific question? I don't see how that can harm you. Moreover, it may reveal a misunderstanding or mistake. There may be a downside that I don't see, however, which is why you should probably consult Ask a Manager. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 4:03 AM on April 10, 2019 [20 favorites]
So much of social media is filled with import, except when it isn't. There are a myriad of ways in which someone could choose to, or accidentally, remove your connection (and with it, the recommendation) that there's really no way of knowing if there's any message behind it or not.
If it's a recommendation you feel you'll be worse for losing (I don't hold a lot of importance to LinkedIn recommendations, since references are always asked for in interviews I've given and have been on), then certainly reach out and see if there was a reason behind it. But otherwise, I'd just consider it one of those things that someone decided on for reasons unrelated to you and build up the connections you still have.
posted by xingcat at 5:16 AM on April 10, 2019 [2 favorites]
If it's a recommendation you feel you'll be worse for losing (I don't hold a lot of importance to LinkedIn recommendations, since references are always asked for in interviews I've given and have been on), then certainly reach out and see if there was a reason behind it. But otherwise, I'd just consider it one of those things that someone decided on for reasons unrelated to you and build up the connections you still have.
posted by xingcat at 5:16 AM on April 10, 2019 [2 favorites]
There's a chance that removing recommendations on LinkedIn is a condition of their new position. For example, some financial services firms do not allow recommendations on LinkedIn, as it's seen as a violation of FINRA regulations on endorsements.
posted by jennypower at 6:02 AM on April 10, 2019 [20 favorites]
posted by jennypower at 6:02 AM on April 10, 2019 [20 favorites]
I was just coming in to suggest what Jennypower did - many corporations have very specific rules about social media, and your former manager may just be trying to comply with a social media policy at her new workplace.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:57 AM on April 10, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:57 AM on April 10, 2019 [4 favorites]
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