staying sane on the road
April 11, 2019 12:59 AM   Subscribe

What are the small fixes that make it a little more bearable when you're in a new bed every two nights?

I have been traveling for work for three weeks, and won't be home until the end of the month. I sometimes don't know where I'm going more than a week in advance. I also have a lot of administrative work to keep up on, which is hard when I'm working a 50-hour week on-site. There are a lot of fundamental workplace issues at play, but I can't do anything right now (or in the long run while staying in this role). I guess I'm looking in the short term for ways to manage (or at least deal slightly better with) an unmanageable workload while also being physically burnt out and mentally not okay. I need to be able to stay focused for 12h/day and not just pass out for 10 hours when I get the chance.
posted by ahundredjarsofsky to Work & Money (21 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
 
It sounds like you actually do need that much sleep, though! Please don't be hard on yourself for recharging on a horrible schedule! 50 hours on-site plus paperwork is not sustainable, so the best thing you can do is try to fix that.

Can anything be delegated?
Can you start some days later or end earlier?
Can you make your commute passive (taxis?) so you can do work in the car?
Does your manager / union know about this schedule?

But ok, some things that will help:
Go for walks at lunch
Eat as healthily as possible
Drink a ton of water
Go easy on sugar and caffeine
Avoid screen time before sleep, use night mode, yellow eye glasses, etc if you must
Connect with friends who make you feel good, maybe a phone call during your commute?
Wear comfy clothing whenever possible and buy anything you need to make sure your body temperature is ok
Buy an electric blanket or heating pad - so cozy and comforting! (but get one with a self-timer so you don't sleep with it on, you can get burns)
Plan a treat with your extra earnings- maybe a little trip, or a massage after this stint is done?

Sounds like hell, to be honest, so don't be too hard on yourself for finding it gruelling- it is!!
posted by pseudostrabismus at 2:25 AM on April 11, 2019 [5 favorites]


Get your own pillow and pillowcases. Bonus points if you have a favorite blanket, or even a shawl/wrap that you can put around your upper body.
Get some "this is home" scent to dab on you/the pillow. Yes for sprays and colognes, no for candles (fire hazard, setting off the smoke alarm). The could be putting something on the nightstand like coffee, or cinnamon sticks, or a lemon.
I always bring plug-in night lights, and a collection of C7 Christmas bulbs for instant ambiance (transparent pink today, frosted aqua tomorrow). One of the nice things about a holiday decoration store is that I can go in and get bulbs individually.
Earplugs are a must. Some type of white noise devise may help, or add some relaxing music or nature sounds that say "now is the time to unwind and turn my mind off."

Create a "this is for me" routine that takes only a few minutes, is portable, and is something that can be replicated if the props are lost/not with you. Read something that you've read many times before. Sing or recite poetry. Work one crossword puzzle in a book each day.
Yoga. Stretching. Headstands. A workout. A gentle dance routine to favorite music. A 15-minute walk (if possible due to safety factors, location, the weather).

Create a hygiene plan that occasionally includes a treat -- a swim, a sauna, a face mask. Get some comfortable footwear and socks and do a foot massage. Get a tennis ball and roll it around under your foot. Get a softball and roll it between your back and the seat cushion.
Bring a comfortable umbrella-style lawn chair and lounge by the pool or patio in a plush robe, with a beverage and a magazine. This is assuming your travel is by vehicle, not airplane.
Webcams are a thing, especially if the current hotel room view sucks. Some of my favorites are this view of Anglin Pier at Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, FL; and the Monterey Bay Aquarium webcams.

One problem with working out of a hotel room is the lack of two defined spaces, one for work and one for relaxation. Designate a work area and have an action that says, "Now work is done for the day." Turn off your portable desk lamp, push in the chair, and walk away.
I'm all about comfort while working, but falling asleep while working on the bed is not a great idea. At least have your containers at hand to put things away for a fresh start in the morning (or in a few hours... yeah.)
posted by TrishaU at 3:10 AM on April 11, 2019 [5 favorites]


Learn the ins and outs of your company's travel policies and take full advantage of them. Stay in nicer places, treat yourself to good meals, etc. Force yourself to take breaks and if you can, explore the local scene a bit. Try a new restaurant or bar that you can't find elsewhere to make it a little special. I'm sorry things are so stressful and hope you get some relief soon.
posted by Twicketface at 4:59 AM on April 11, 2019 [5 favorites]


When I traveled a lot it was in a car- so I took my bike with me everywhere. Getting in a hard ride every day did miracles for keeping my head on straight on top of being good for me. Works just about anywhere. If you are flying then I have nothing...
posted by Patapsco Mike at 5:26 AM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


Whenever I travel, I try to make sure to have the products I love that are at home (like toiletries) with me, or to buy them the moment I get into the new place. Having to deal with oddball shampoos and soaps and tiny little toothpastes aren't worth the savings on getting all that stuff to stock up my hotel bathroom.

I also love a fan going when I fall asleep. I used to try to pack a little portable fan with me, but now I have an app on my phone that sounds just like the fan at home, and it shuts off automatically after an hour. That really helps me sleep.
posted by xingcat at 6:32 AM on April 11, 2019 [2 favorites]


Yes to having your own toiletries and keeping your work space separate, if possible, from the place you sleep.

I travel for work and find it helpful to have one meal a day that isn't a restaurant - so I keep milk or yogurt and granola and fruit in the hotel/airbnb fridge. I stock up on snacks at the nearest Trader Joe's - dried fruit, nuts, things that are minimally processed and easy to eat. Try to find a good loaf of bread and cheese.

If there's beauty anywhere around you while you are in one place, take a walk in it. Moving your body and letting go of the work day helps so much, I find.

Do you know anyone in the places you are working? I am usually returning to the place we used to live, so I make an effort to have dinner with friends or coffee with a work colleague where we don't talk job.

Find a used bookstore and pick up a cheap and interesting book for your off hours.

Sleeping is tough though, it sucks to be in a new time zone and knowing you need the rest but being unable...
posted by Lawn Beaver at 6:40 AM on April 11, 2019 [2 favorites]


Agree with your own toiletries. To make things easier for you in the mornings, especially if you move from place to place, make a habit of setting up your toiletries and outfit for the next day when you brush your teeth at night. It'll save you from bleary-eyed fumbling around when you're in a rush in the morning.

Reading a good escapist novel always helps me destress and forget about work pressures at night. If you can find a really good book that appeals to you and keeps the pages turning, that can be a relatively quick way to tell your body - ok work time is over, now it's time to relax.

Some bath products like bubble baths and bath bombs feel especially relaxing just before bed. Try to cultivate little rituals like a glass of wine and a book with a bubble bath that make you feel rested.

The temptation is to load up on sugary and carby snacks and lots of coffee to get you through the long days - but that can often be counterproductive and lead to a crash later on. See if you can get some protein, especially for breakfast - the usual hotel pastries plus coffee breakfast is a recipe for feeling lethargic and sleepy.
posted by peacheater at 7:54 AM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


Agree that you should get just as much sleep as your body wants if you can. That kind of schedule is exhausting and sleep is your #1 need.

Ideally, you designate the half hour before bed as time for...a relaxing book? A bath? Anything that helps you wind down and that doesn't involve a screen. Don't mindlessly surf the web til you crash (not that I know anyone who does that).

Take a walk at lunch if at all possible. These days it's much harder to get lost. It doesn't have to be anywhere pretty if nowhere is available--the point is to carve out a sliver of time from work.
posted by praemunire at 8:02 AM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


Eat lots of fresh foods like you like and drink plenty of water.
I like to go for a long walk outside in the evening if I can - ask the concierge at the hotel where a good walking path would be.
I also like to take a good soaking bath after the walk, sometimes with a bath bomb I enjoy.
I have some of my favorite music loaded on my phone - fun stuff to wake up to, and familiar stuff that my brain doesn't have to pay attention to to fall asleep to.

One thing I miss when I'm away from home for more than a couple of days is making progress on something. At home, I might be doing laundry or chores or something, but I don't have that when I'm away. Knitting, watercolor, drawing, crochet, or some other hand craft or thing you can make visible progress on can help with that.
posted by jillithd at 8:02 AM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


Your workload sounds unsustainable, so definitely start there. Delegate, even if it means spending a little extra time on the front end. If you have an admin you can move some tasks to, do it, even if it means training them up on how to do them. Especially for paperwork things, or travel planning (when I traveled for work I had a travel agent, which took a good chunk of weight off). Also see if you can throw money at personal time sucks. Hotel laundry, Clear at airports, etc. Having a wired system for getting to and from airports and in and out of hotel rooms can also take off some of that mental load. Always put X stuff in Y place when you get into your room so that you know you can pack up everything in a hurry without thinking about it.

For burnout/sleep, when I was traveling I'd usually try and setup my days that allow me to sleep in, at least somewhat. That meant that if I had trouble falling asleep at night, I could at least catch up somewhat on the back end by sleeping in.

Drink more water than you think you need to.

Work outside if you can.

Streaming TV/movies can be nice on the road. It let me keep up on a single show rather than just watch whatever junk happened to be on.
posted by craven_morhead at 9:59 AM on April 11, 2019 [2 favorites]


Work in the lobby so that when you make it upstairs to your room and can actually unwind and rest
posted by raccoon409 at 10:30 AM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


One of the first things I do when I get to a hotel is to grab 2 of those white hand towels or washcloths that are in the bathroom (or bring your own colorful ones that is easy to spot). Spread one on the bathroom counter - anything that is yours that you take out stays on this towel - your toiletry bag, your toothbrush, whatever. Then take the second white hand towel and spread it on your bedside table. Anything loose like your passport, keys, room card, your watch, your phone, chargers - all stays here in one place on top of that towel.

This will save you a ton of time looking and searching for things as you are getting to ready to leave that particular hotel room. Everything is easy to spot on that white towel, contained in the same designated two spots... no matter where you are and what hotel you're in. Ever since I started doing this on work trips, I have managed to not lose or leave behind any personal items.
posted by HeyAllie at 10:42 AM on April 11, 2019 [10 favorites]


Disconnect from work by connecting with the place you're in.

The second you know where you will be, find something to get out and do at that place. Local theater. The newest restaurant. Literary event. Visit an old friend. Head to an art gallery. Finding something to look forward to on every trip will take the sting out of it.

Read the Atlas Obscura section on wherever you're at. Ask strangers why they like living there. Get to know the place, not just the hotel room. Even if you can't visit everything, you'll have more of a connection to the place than just heading from airport to meeting to hotel room to airport.

This all seems like more work, but it will be worth it at the end. you will leave places feeling a little more enriched than exhausted.
posted by haplesschild at 12:45 PM on April 11, 2019


Agree on the suggestion to bring your own pillow. But be really really really careful to not leave it in the bed...I learned that lesson the hard way and the hotel cleaning staff picked up my pillow and it was never to be seen again.
posted by radioamy at 1:14 PM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


Develop a hotel routine. A routine helps you be way more efficient and not waste time doing stuff. Even a short walk, even in a hotel neighborhood gets you moving, an dthere is usually some Nature, however bedraggled.
Arrive, bag goes on stand, charge phone and laptop, spritz some linen spray*, wash up, change, go have dinner and a walk, call home, read, sleep.
Get up, listen to news if you do that, shower, pack, tip housekeepers, walk, depart.

*Linen spray is room freshener/ weak cologne. It's easy to keep a 2 oz. spritzer, and a familiar scent makes a big difference.
posted by theora55 at 1:43 PM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


If you take your own pillow I'd use a pillowcase that's instantly identifiable as not-hotel-linen... solid colour or bold print. Insurance would be sewing it shut like another casing.
posted by kate4914 at 3:13 PM on April 11, 2019 [2 favorites]


If you can stay in the same hotel chain at every stop, do. Ideally, stay in rooms with the same layout. That way you can get used to the space and how it works. Less newness at every stop.
posted by ocherdraco at 6:06 PM on April 11, 2019 [1 favorite]


Oof, that's rough. I don't travel nearly as much for work, but when I have traveled frequently or for long stretches or to multiple places, this is what helps (and I do many of these all the time when I travel):

- Does your work allow you to expense laundry? Do that. Does home stuff need doing? Pay someone else to do it. Let as much slide as humanly possible. When your work is unsustainable, frankly your job is to do the bare minimum to get by until you can find another job.
- Can you decide where to stay when you get sent places? Pick a chain/brand, and stick with it. Sameness and predictability are good. Make sure you sign up for the loyalty account, because even though you might not get status, you will still be treated somewhat better on check-in, usually. Same with car rental companies and airlines.
- I like extended stay places/mini suites/ rooms with kitchenettes, so I can keep some water cold, have fresh produce, and not live out of coffee shops and restaurants. Go to a grocery store for basics, not the hotel shop. And while you're there, pick up your normal home toiletries if you don't already have them.
- Can you exercise? I hate the gym, but going for a walk or run nearby during the day does wonders. Just getting outside and away from people for a few minutes helps.
- Stretching/yoga/bodyweight exercises in your room can also keep you from turning into a hunched mess.
- Unpack completely. Packing cubes help if you don't need everything in each location, but I find being unpacked and having all my routine toiletries and stuff put away restoring and reassuring.
- Do you have coworkers who want to eat out together every night? If you're introverted, beg off once every few days for some quiet.
- Don't feel bad about crashing out when you get to your room. If you can sleep, you need it! If you're not too exhausted, try and find one fun thing in each place - tourist trap, store, restaurant, whatever. Every place has SOMETHING. I find it helps me reframe things from "THIS fucking city" to "that place with the fun ramen bar that played Fullmetal Alchemist on TV" and sometimes just being less resentful makes it less exhausting.

Good luck, and I hope you can get out of this soon.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 6:23 PM on April 11, 2019


HeyAllie: "Anything loose like your passport, keys, room card, your watch, your phone, chargers - all stays here in one place on top of that towel."
My husband does this with a ball cap, even at home. Same idea to corral items, but with sides. Also, the cleaning staff is less likely to move it compared to a hotel washcloth.

Finding local hotspots: I'm all about libraries and bookstores. Of course, that means more to transport unless I am driving my own vehicle. Even if the library is minimal, it's interesting to go inside and look around.
Perhaps the location has a place of regional interest, like a tiny museum, house of worship, historical marker, etc. Just don't get too hung up on it and stress yourself out in your limited free time.
posted by TrishaU at 6:52 PM on April 11, 2019


+1 for a hot bath while streaming episodes of The Crown or The Marvelous Mrs Maisal on a laptop perched on the toilet seat.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 7:54 PM on April 11, 2019


Response by poster: Thanks - I think I can do the toiletries part, at least.

Tbh, the delegation thing is one of the major issues right now since I'm doing most of the admin work and no-one will step up to help. I would like to be able to do a lot of these things to switch off from work for a while, but if I do I just end up working til 4 am to catch up. So yeah. My free time is 10 minutes on twitter before bed.
posted by ahundredjarsofsky at 10:16 PM on April 11, 2019


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