June 2024 Archives
June 18
How to make our shower colder?
The temperature range in our shower is limited such that the cold side does not get very cold. Is there a way to fix this without reducing how hot the hot side gets? [more inside]
Where to put rage?
My best friend is in the midst of getting out of a domestic violence situation. I have rage, lots of it. [more inside]
Help me remember a film / story involving a lonely man and a hairdresser
In this story a lonely man (he might be the protagonist) develops a crush on a younger woman, but they don't interact. He follows her and finds out she is a hairdresser. He relieves his loneliness by going to her salon for a shampoo and a haircut. That's it. Nothing else happens between them. It might be the end of the story. And it might be a minor part of the story, not the main theme. [more inside]
Where to upload large amounts of text to a webpage for AI to summarize?
I have book chapters I need summarized by an AI assistant. I copied the text and tried uploading them to paste.ee and privatebin.net, and was able to view the text there myself, but the AI seemed unable to access it. [more inside]
Do you have ideas for cashing out a large Amazon gift card balance?
I have a large Amazon gift card balance on my account and I would like to find ways to cash it out. Do you have any ideas? [more inside]
June 17
Lawyer recommendation for fairly simple living domestic trust?
I am an American married to a Chinese national. We live abroad, she has no TIN, and in the case that I die, I want to set things up so that it will be as easy for her as possible. Looking for a lawyer to help me do so. Any recommendations? [more inside]
Seattle, what to do, what to eat
So later this week I'll be visiting Seattle for the first time in 20 years and would love a) dinner recommendations near the Space Needle b) daytime activity/food recommendations in general. I'm planning on going to the Seattle Asian Art Museum, but otherwise don't have anything planned! I am an urban history nerd and was thinking that the International District and Wing Luke Museum might be a good place to visit?
Memories of Movie Preshows
I’m working on a project that deals with preshows in movie theaters. I’m interested in unusual ones (and common ones) you can remember from when you were younger (ideally back to the sixties and seventies, but I’ll take more recent examples as well). I’m pretty solid on trailers, so I’m looking for any other material (advertising, PSA’s, whatever) shown before a film in theaters. Thanks in advance.
Brother threatened to shoot me (over text) over small argument
My brother (42m), who i've had a mostly chill though superficial relationship with growing up, has been getting really into weaponry. Recently, we had a small argument * over text, not in person * - we live in different cities - where he tried to get me to do something I wasn't that comfortable with (though not that big a deal), and I stood up for myself, and he got angrier and angrier and said if I were there he would shoot me/use his weapons on me, and made it clear he was not joking. Now I don't feel safe around him and not sure what to do next with our relationship. [more inside]
Landlord Law
Have any laws been violated by the landlord in this situation? [more inside]
Cool men's T-shirts for hot weather?
I'm looking to get a bunch of men's t-shirts which will keep me cool when I'm out in the heat. Ideas? [more inside]
Need favorite iPhone contact to vibe, not ring, when focus on
Mr. Doodly and I are each other’s favorite iPhone contacts, como Dios manda.
However, Mr. Doodly’s new job requires a higher degree of decorum than in the past.
He needs to put his phone on DND (or whatever focus works) and refuse (or I guess silence, but preferably refuse) all calls and texts except mine. He’d like mine to come through, but on “vibrate” only. [more inside]
Should I continue on with "North Woods"?
Like many other people, for various reasons my attention span and/or logistics for pleasure-reading has greatly diminished. These days it seems like I need a book to grab me by the neck and not let go. North Woods grabbed me by the neck, and then ... kind of let go. People who've read it: Should I persist? (some spoilage within!) [more inside]
What Did I Eat?
Last week I ate some kind of pickled vegetable and I'm trying to identify exactly what it was. [more inside]
Lake house working vacation
My family and I would like to get out of the heat in Texas for a week in mid July. I will need to work but all of that can be done on a laptop. I would really like to rent a quiet lake house that is somewhat close to a town that my wife and two teenagers can find some things to do. Keeping logistics really easy and laid back is my only hard requirement. I'll pay a premium for a nice place that's not overrun with noise and tourism. What location in the U.S. do you recommend?
Recommendations for non-English language crime dramas, s’il vous plait?
I’ve been enjoying L’art du crime and Astrid quite a bit. Recommendations for other non-English language lighter crime shows? French preferred as it helps with language learning, but not a requirement. [more inside]
Best life jackets for kayaking?
We bought a kayak and got two other handmedowns. Now we need life vests. They seem to range in price from $23 on Amazon to $135 on REI. Does the more expensive ones have features that matter ? We aren’t white-water rafting or doing anything particularly athletic. We’re just paddling around a local small lake and don’t want to drown if we fall in (we can all swim but are still cautious people). Thank for any advice!
June 16
Perfecting the claw trim with a level 4 cat
Foster cat Jonathan Cat is, well, freaked out about getting his claws trimmed. One toe in particular seems to hurt when manipulated at all, and he gets very upset when any claw is trimmed. So far, trimming one claw per day sometimes works (except the painful one), but that's really too much for _me_, and the painful one is a real problem. I want to make sure a) I'm doing the best I can to be gentle with the painful toe, and b) there's nothing else I can do to make this better for him. [more inside]
Cat food is very smelly.
Our little cat needs to be coaxed to eat and only likes very smelly food. My partner is very smell-sensitive. What to do? [more inside]
How do I be more productive in open source projects?
I'm retired (laid off) and found some great open source projects, It has me really passionate about programming after years of climbing the ladder. I am really enjoying doing it but sometimes either my talk gets too corporate (lets focus on not making it prove the user understands this) to simply it got me out of corporate thinking of how can I just get things done without large vendors and a lot of stupid meetings. I'm not gelling well with these type of developers and it might be my corporate side coming out. I'm not looking to make money but they're really focused on minutia and I'm more of a big thinker. Suggestions on integrating with the communities? [more inside]
How much cash is needed in Paris and etiquette
My daughter and I will be in Paris for 21 days; how much cash will I need for Paris? When is it preferred to use cash? [more inside]
ISO photo albums
I have my physical, printed photos in a cardboard box and would love your recommendations on where I can purchase a proper photo album. The photos are 5 inches by 7 inches. [more inside]
Be gay, do crime
I want to watch re-Bound with some friends before watching Loves Lies Bleeding. Seems like a good time to watch any other queer heist, rampage, crime spree movies you can recommend. [more inside]
Where do you buy blu-rays online these days?
I would like to buy blu-rays from places that aren't large companies like Amazon, Target, etc. (I'm in the US.) I buy them in person sometimes from Scarecrow Video in Seattle, but don't get over there too often. What small companies/stores are you buying blu-rays from online?
Is there a way to download videos from Facebook?
Is there a way to download videos from Facebook?
Pie masters, help me troubleshoot my pies
I'm learning to bake sweets from scratch and it's going all right. I've got the important part down: It tastes good! But ... I am struggling to make a nice, neat-looking pie crust. I keep giving my parents these really tasty, but really ugly pies. I run into a couple of issues: [more inside]
Should I try antidepressants even if my mental health is improving?
The doctor said after 15min of chatting that she doesn't give therapy sessions, that i should go in nature more, pet my dogs more, and take Sertraline for my mild depression. That I probably just don't respond to stress as good as an average person. I've never been prescribed ADs before. [more inside]
Do Deterra MP pouches work
We need to dispose of tens of opioid painkillers but the pharmacy dropoffs are always full. Do Deterra MP pouches work? Are they better than just mixing the pills with coffee grounds and burying them in the trash?
End of life considerations for cat with skin cancer
One of our cats has suffered from skin cancer for years, and it's looking pretty bad. Unsure how to gauge "quality of life" at this point. What would you do? (cw: gross details inside) [more inside]
June 15
Is a personal support worker what we need? How to find one? (Toronto)
My mother, 81, fell and broke her hip. They replaced it. She is doing pretty well but will take some time to recover. I want to find someone who can help her out around the house. I think there’s a lot of uncertainty about what sort of help she’ll need and when. We are in Toronto. [more inside]
Ice Cream Sandwich Cookie Help
My brother and I have an obscene recipe for peanut butter ice cream. We want to make some sandwiches. What kind of cookie? [more inside]
Puppy Potty Training Regression
I have a 9 month old puppy who I adopted in February as a rescue from a hoarding case. We've had ups and downs with potty training, but lately it's regressed to the point where I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do anymore. Please help. [more inside]
Are those red flags of an unhealthy/possibly DV relationship?
In February, I posted about one of my closest friends, Xavier. I've seen some things here and there that are concerning me, so wanted to ask. [more inside]
Redoing Jam
I made cherry jam without pectin. Can I heat it back up and add pectin? [more inside]
Help me help my kindle
I need to delete about 2000 expired libby loans from my new kindle. [more inside]
Participant captioning in Zoom
Is it possible to get captioning or live transcription in Zoom as a single meeting participant? What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
Need suggestions for Great Smoky Mountain trip!
We're going to be visiting friends in Ringgold, GA from June 27 thru July 6 this summer. Would love to spend two or three days in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Our Goals would be to see some country we've never seen before and perhaps cool off. We're not too interested in the Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg scene. So been thinking of spending a couple nights in Townsend TN with forays into the park like going to Clingmans Dome. [more inside]
Gruesome Las Vegas
If I were to travel to Las Vegas, what would be its most gruesome aspects today? What is the most disgusting casino? What is the ickiest dinner buffet? What is the most depressing public space? What is the worst hotel? What is your secret awful spot in Las Vegas? This masochist mind wants to know. Tell me your nastiest Las Vegas stories!
Do I really need a realtor?
A friend of mine didn't use a realtor but a broker I believe to buy their house. I've never heard of that before but I also met someone who she says her dad was a mortgage loan underwriter and "he wrote her loan" for her.
So tell me, what is it that these people know that I don't? I don't have the cultural capital to learn this stuff from my family but I'm surrounded by people who buy houses like it's nothing. [more inside]
Career midpoint: how to prepare for a (maybe) move
I've had a short-term conflict at work that will blow over, but it has led me to realize that there are some structural issues that may complicate my staying there long-term. I've also got some personal reasons for considering a move. What's the best way to prep for a job search before it becomes a five alarm fire? [more inside]
Adventure/humor/educational podcasts for kids?
My kid really loves Greeking Out, and the grownups like it ok too. But we have almost run through it. What else might we all like? [more inside]
Losing that glove-ing feeling
Anyone out there who also hates the feel of wearing gloves? If so, have you found work gloves or cleaning gloves that are bearable for daily use? [more inside]
June 14
Men's gradient sweater, light on top
Looking for a variation on this gradient sweater but light on top and dark on the bottom [more inside]
How to run a portable A/C all day?
I have a portable A/C in my room. I'd like to keep it on all day because it takes a while to cool the room, but I'm limited by the fact that it drains into a bucket and produces lots of water when it's super hot out. [more inside]
Second question of the week: tasty crunchy dirt, and bitterness
I love yummy crunchy dirt flavors, like cacao nibs and carob. Help me find more? [more inside]
When exactly to file a home insurance claim
I know that filing a home insurance claim is something you don't do lightly. For example, you don't do it if repairs are less than or near the deductible and just pay out of pocket etc. etc. My question is how to get to a numerically-exact or -near-exact sweet spot for deciding when to bite the bullet and make a claim, based on the particulars of my policy and the consequences of filing a claim. [more inside]
Help me deter the wrath of Zeus
My devices seem unusually prone to bizarre semi-damage from passing thunderstorms. This never seems to be a problem for friends or family in the same area. What's going on and what's the best way to address it? [more inside]
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
My 2-year old HP all-in-one computer at home is doing something strange - whenever there is a text-entry field, it begins auto-typing wwwwwww. [more inside]
Problem with phone/car connection
My touchscreen in my car keeps freezing when connected to my phone. [more inside]
Personal use cases for ChatGPT and/or other LLMs
I've seen a lot of use-case articles citing how ChatGPT can be maximised for work like marketing, writing, etc. But I want to know how you've used it in your personal life? [more inside]
Heart emoticon at work?
Personal opinions needed <3 [more inside]
Should I quit my marketing business and switch careers?
I run a marketing business which has struggled for the past two years. I'm considering whether to pivot, change careers, or find an in-house or agency job. I have lots of experience but am burned out. Should I try to turn my business around or look for a new career path? [more inside]
Investment book for fresh college grad with a job?
What's a current book with good advice for a recent college grad who has a job (so not just surviving)? [more inside]
Hair goo suggestions?
What hair product should I use? [more inside]
Team lead is trying to fix my relationship with his direct line.
I’m NOT interested in being friends with this person. [more inside]
Can you explain blood donations?
I donated regularly before Covid, and I want to start again. I'm also thinking about having one or both of my dogs try it. [more inside]
What’s on in Scandinavia this autumn?
I'm visiting Denmark, Sweden, and Norway during the first half of October, with the possibility of adding days at the end of September too (the precise schedule hasn’t been set yet). Hoping I'll have a lot of free time during my stay, I'd like to hear about interesting events and opportunities for unique activities that time of year. I'd be down for anything anywhere, especially stuff related to local cultures, nature, history, and food. Speaking of food, is October too late in the season for something like a guided foraging course somewhere in the region? [more inside]
June 13
Long Layover in Saigon
Due to a travel agent's skullduggery, I had to book flights that included a 13-hour layover in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). Recommendations and tips on how to spend that 13 hour time with teenager in tow? [more inside]
Knowledgeable help for breast pain?
For the past year or two, I have had intermittent pain in and around my breast, usually but not always on the right side. It is sharp, pretty strong, and it feels like pressure or like I am being squeezed. It does not seem correlated with anything. During this time, I have had a normal mammogram, and I have seen a gynecologist, who wasn’t much help. The gynecologist did mention physical therapy might help. [more inside]
Media that prepared in advance for revisitng in the future?
What are some shows/movies/comics episodic entertainment media that prepared in advance for a later revisit via time travel or whatever? [more inside]
Easy Festive Side Dishes for Salmon?
I need a couple of dishes for Father's Day that minimize chopping and weight bearing, etc. [more inside]
Data secure / Local storage Health diary app...?
Recently diagnosed with Hashimoto's, I want to track my food, sleep, symptoms, activity, etc. Is there any input framework I could buy and keep my data off someone else's servers? [more inside]
Teaching dog to potty on command
I’ve been trying to teach our dog to pee on command, but she’s just not getting it. Any advice? [more inside]
It's 2024. How do I transcode my DVDs to my hard disk
I have a bunch of movies on DVD. I would like to have these movies in a more modern format, so I can travel with them, for example, without toting around a DVD player. What's the best way to do this on an Apple Silicon Macintosh? [more inside]
Destination wedding gift?
My friend is getting married next week, a few hours flight away. What's a good gift I could send to her home before she leaves, via Amazon or similar? Budget of $50 is perfect, could go higher if it's really great. Thanks! [more inside]
is this loose electrical socket a fire hazard?
I'm renting a room in a foreign country. The socket box is loose and falling out of the wall. I'm contacting the landlord to see about getting it fixed, because when I plug stuff in it doesn't charge. But I'm also concerned that it may be a fire hazard. I don't have enough understanding of electricity to know, and was wondering if someone might be able to help me understand how much of a risk it might be (if any) so I can use that information to push the landlord to get it fixed ASAP. [more inside]
Get me to the Greek: Parking
I am going to a show at the Greek theater this weekend in Los Angeles. (Guess which one!) I've never been there and I am nervous about parking. My parking pass is for lots A, B, or H. Both the parking lots AND doors open at 5pm. Which is the best lot to aim for?
Is this a good place to buy a dinosaur? (replica)
Does anyone have experience ordering from this company? What did you get, and did you like it? [more inside]
What did I read?
Can anyone help me remember what I read? It was an essay by a woman who gave birth as a teenager and gave the baby up for adoption. Driving home with her parents afterward, there were several minutes of miserable silence, then she said she wanted to go back to get the baby. “We’re going to get the baby,” her dad said immediately, pulling a u-turn. Then her parents helped her raise the baby. That’s all I remember. Anyone?
"Great stuff! How can I follow you!" "Here's my site!"
What are your favorite artist / designer / thinker / etc websites by people who have no social media presence? I am soon launching a blog and am looking to highlight people who only promote their work through their own websites. I know this is a bit of a tall ask, but that's exactly why I want to highlight them.
Things to do in Portland, Maine
A friend and I are flying to Portland, Maine, for a few days in August. Tickets are cheap and this is just a chance to get out of town in August. What are some things we might do? I like the ocean but am not a beach bather. Happy to hear about your favorite things to see and do in Portland or nearby.
What news websites have "lite" versions?
I am absolutely in love with CBC Lite (I might make an FPP about it) and wondering if there are other news sites that have a version like this. [more inside]
Like a Lifetime thriller but.... better?
I like high concept thrillers and slashers that were greenlit in large part for their two or three sentence plot summary. I also like tense, talky low budget films that do their best with very few actors and locations. [more inside]
Hostgator is bouncing emails that are sent to me
For the past week or so, some clients (whom I've communicated with before) and new people (from reputable domains) are getting emails rejected from Hostgator. PLEASE HELP [more inside]
How to express "I don't want to spend THAT much time with you"?
I've started a friendship with a couple - they are both retired; I am not. We've made dinner dates a few times, and every time she subsequently asks me to come over an hour in advance for a glass of wine and then go in one car. There are reasons I don't want to do that (see below) but largely because it turns a 2-hour evening investment into a 4-hour evening investment, once I factor in all the driving time. To date, I've made one-off excuses: is there a gentle way to address this as a blanket "can't do that?" [more inside]
Biography of X by Catherine Lacey - discussion forums, ideas, anything.
I've got book club this Sunday, and the title in question is "Biography of X" by Catherine Lacey.
The problem? I really enjoyed the book, but something feels hollow inside me about the fact that it presents a (relatively) perfect gay future(~ish) for most, where trans people don't exist. I'm looking for any content which might help me here. [more inside]
Academic burnout
Exhausted academic seeks help. [more inside]
Do I move on?
In the early days of a relationship and worried that it's not a fit. [more inside]
June 12
How can I replace this power supply safely?
I have a 4 bay USB-attached hard drive enclosure. It's a bit old and the internal power supply has died. Unfortunately it's not a standard size component. I'd like to replace it with a PicoPSU and an external power brick. That seems to work but there's a twist that worries me. Advice needed. [more inside]
Mexico City Solo Trip - Tours
Are tours necessary for all sites and activities in Mexico City? [more inside]
Name that T-top car
What is the make, model, and year of the car in the video for Sabrina Carpenter's Please Please Please? Bonus question: has a car like this appeared in any other music videos, t.v. shows, or movies?
How do I recover my overall physical strength after four surgeries?
After four surgeries in four years, I have completed my transition, but discovered that my old mid-40s estrogenated body is no longer able to handle unguided DIY exercise. How do I seek hands-on assessment and guidance to get back to being strong? [more inside]
Hair colorists, I need your help!!
My hair color (first dye job) is horrid and I feel hideous. Seeking advice. [more inside]
Only interested in things that bother me?
Sometimes, I find that the only media that can hold my interest is on topics that I find stressful/upsetting. I'll try to read or watch something about a pleasant interest, and no matter how interested I am in that at other times, it seems boring. [more inside]
I'm looking for "Croshaw" in William and Mary College Quarterly
This reference is posted on the Internet, including Wikipedia, but if I go to that issue at archive.org I can't find it.
"Crowshaw", by Martha Woodroof Hiden; William and Mary Qtrly (2), XXI, pp265 70 [more inside]
Is there a reason I always get spam calls on the same day?
The spam phone calls I get seem to follow a pattern where I won’t get any for days or weeks, and then will get 5+ all on the same day. Is there a technical explanation for this or is it just confirmation bias?
Get into my pants
The problem with most big and tall men's clothing is that sizing tends to assume *both* big and tall, but not short and squat. Help with haberdashery for the portly gentleman of a certain stature. Details inside. [more inside]
Clicked on a scammy Facebook link. Now what?
I have an Apple iPhone SE. A Facebook friend seemed to post a link to a video about a horrible traffic accident. I tapped on that link but didn't otherwise interact with the resulting page. Am I OK? [more inside]
Iceland - give me your recs!
Planning a 10 day trip to Iceland in September. We're debating between renting a camper or staying in hotels/b&b's. If you went, what did you do? Ring road or something else? F road capable vehicle? Did you buy a self drive package or work out all the details yourself? Anything else I should think about?
Experiences with trazodone for vet visits?
My geriatric dog needs to see a dental specialist. Previously, he’s needed twilight sedation to allow people to look at his mouth, but this vet recommends that I get gabapentin or trazodone from my usual vet. [more inside]
Piano sheet music -- more like this?
Been trying to get back into some piano recently and dug up my old Burgmuller sheet music (Twenty-Five Easy and Progressive Studies) and it's been a relief to play something pretty easy but fancy-sounding while working on some harder pieces. Are there other books similar to this? I'm playing on a 61-key digital keyboard at the moment so no Rachmaninoff lol (not that I ever could play him anyway...)
How can I access Silent Witness Series 6 to Series 10?
How can I access Silent Witness Series 6 to Series 10? Series 11 onwards are available to purchase or stream from Apple/Amazon, but Series 6 to 10 don't seem to be available anywhere.
Combining Word Docs, PDFs, and Spreadsheets in One Report
[This is a planning/strategy question.] I need advice about how to combine hundreds of pages of Word documents, PDFs, spreadsheets, and more in a single document that will ultimately be delivered as a PDF. I've done it before, but never for a report of this size, and I've got a looming deadline. Help! [more inside]
"Busy bag" ideas with three levels of difficulty
I'm creating a set of self-contained activity bags for a set of siblings, ages 2, 4, and 6. I'm looking for ideas of activities I can create with three different levels of difficulty, to keep each of the kids engaged for a short time at their own level. Some examples inside. [more inside]
Where are the David Sedaris haters hanging out online?
I just read the newest David Sedaris essay in the New Yorker about his experience going on safari, and I found it annoying. For many reasons, including the general narrowing of his viewpoint over the decades, his "humorous" description of cultural appropriation as sort of a shrugging, oh I've never known what it really is, like putting blue cheese on tacos, etc. Are there any comment sections or threads or recent essays criticizing his later work? [more inside]
Narrow sporty mens flip-flop?
I just need a flip-flop to walk from the locker room to the pool and I had a pair of Reef sandals that worked well for my very narrow, flat feet, but they finally fell apart and no longer exist. It's been impossible to find a replacement--every sandals advertised as "narrow", even in women's version has been too "high volume".
Can anyone recommend something?
My website has disappeared - what do I do?
Today, I went to my website, all of 10+ years old and receive the message: "Page not found. Sorry, the requested page could not be found."
I went to my domain host, but have received no reply....I can still use the site's email address and send and receive email, but no access to the site.
Any suggestions on quick resolution.
Many thanks.
Please Help Me Buy Stuff in a Large Self-Serve Bakery
I'm staying in a non-tourist area of Hanoi, and every day I walk past an *amazing* large bakery, but I never go in because... TBH I've never been in this type of self-serve bakery before. I *think* you just get personal tongs and put stuff on a tray which you then take to the checkout (maybe specifying eat-in or take-out?), but I don't speak Vietnamese so my brain thinks any incorrect assumptions could spark an international incident, and so - so far - no pastries for me (I know how ridiculous this all sounds, yes). [more inside]
June 11
Any advice on scaling up home drink recipes to production (infusion)
Long story short: Been making homemade nocino for several years, always at the couple jars level. Last year, got my grain neutral spirits from a distillery in exchange for some of the liquor. He liked it; we're scaling up to make it a legit recipe. Thing is, like many home cooks, my measurements were super loose—how do I adjust "to taste" into a solid purchase order? [more inside]
Meta Quest 3 for the fun-seeking nauseated person
I got a Meta Quest 3. Please recommend fun things I can do where I move through the virtual world as I do in reality. Moving through the virtual world differently is giving me terrible motion sickness and I don't want to just basically watch tv through it (i.e. I want to DO something). I have access to squash courts (i.e. a large space with nothing to trip over or bump into). Please recommend cool things.
Fresh Lime
I'm reading the Miss Marple story, A Caribbean Mystery, and am currently stumped by my own mystery, what is the "Fresh Lime" she keeps ordering? [more inside]
Harmonic Convergence
What is your favorite music featuring vocal harmonies? All genres welcome here. [more inside]
Neurodivergence and/or having disorders
When I view myself as being neurodivergent, I feel happy about who I am. On the other hand, thinking of myself as having certain personality or psychiatric disorders makes me feel unlovable. In fact though, it’s at least as likely that I have those disorders as that I’m neurodivergent. [more inside]
Online Classmate Is Making Me Uncomfortable
I started an online graduate program last week, and a classmate reached out to me on social media. I have no problem with this in general, but he's been extremely forward about wanting to build a relationship with me, and I just wanted to be friends (now I don't even want that). Any and all advice is welcome! Thank you. [more inside]
Give me some examples of loving fathers
I'm pretty sure my father was emotionally neglectful but I can't really articulate how. I'm in treatment for CPTSD related to this and can sort of reverse engineer that things must not have been great given how much of an effect on me it had, but it's hard to understand what I didn't get so I'm struggling both to grieve and to do reparenting work. [more inside]
Does everyone convicted get to appeal.
The thought entered my mind that every convicted criminal [more inside]
What is the best Bluetooth speaker for city bike rides in 2024?
Do you listen to music while riding a bike? What is the Bluetooth speaker available in 2024 that rules, considering volume, battery, portability, cost, and other factors? [more inside]
Trying to get my student loans waived (TPD), need help with a snag.
As I am totally Deaf (100%, cannot hear at all), I have many Deaf friends who signed up for the permanent total forgiveness of student loans and were successful. I decided to do the same thing, but my doctor is saying that my Deafness doesn't qualify because it doesn't prevent me from doing substantial activity. [more inside]
Modern equivalent of framing business's first dollar?
My spouse is opening a store! I love the tradition of framing the first dollar the business earns, but it's 2024, and the store will be cashless. What do new businesses do these days?
Help me creatively give paper money to a teenage prankster
This Friday, a 16-year-old family friend is finishing his GCSE exams. He is a known prankster and loves magic tricks, weird notes, and any chance for silliness. (For example, he was dared to find a way to make a calculator disappear, so he broke it down into its component pieces and glued them under a desk. Maths teacher was secretly impressed, but Goofy Kid still got in trouble.) [more inside]
Is getting a Commercial Real Estate Broker worth it?
So we're looking for a small 1000 sq ft retail location. Is it worth it to engage a CRE broker to help us? [more inside]
What language was this poorly translated from?
I’ve been reading a fan site where the text is obviously machine translated with poor results. It keeps me on my toes trying to understand things, but I’ve gotten curious what the original language was. I’m hoping someone can look at the translated text and make a good guess. [more inside]
Help me find cool, weird, rare edible herbs for my garden
I have installed a new herb garden in my US Midwestern yard this year and I am looking for suggestions on interesting perennial edible herbs to add to it beyond the obvious culinary classics (rosemary, sage, thyme, etc.). What should I grow? [more inside]
Short readings in philosophy
I have no attention span. I would like to learn a little about notable moments/movements in philosophy. What should I read? [more inside]
Chairs similar to Secretlab?
I tried a friend’s Secretlab gaming chair, and it was one of the most comfortable things I’ve ever sat in. Better than a La-Z-Boy. I'm wondering if there are other brands that make ergonomic computer chairs that recline and are extremely comfortable and luxurious feeling?
TravelFilter: Drive from Zion, UT, to San Luis Obispo, CA.
This leg is part of our summer adventure and I'm looking for info/recommendations. We don't want to meander too much, and Google Maps routes us through Las Vegas, the Mojave Desert, and Bakersfield, Routes 1I5-58-I5. Anything special worth stopping for? General advice? Alternate routes to suggest that don't lose several hours?
Supporting a parent in search of their biological family
My mother was adopted by my grandparents. She wants to search for her biological family. How can I support her? [more inside]
Test for estrogen receptors if you DON'T have breast cancer?
I went to a psychiatrist because, after a hysterectomy and removal of ovaries, I have a lot of possibly hormone-related symptoms (hot flashes, irritability, anxiety) and he suggested I go to a gynecologist and get an estrogen patch prescribed. But [more inside]
import { inspiration } from "askme"
Where do you get your inspiration for hobbyist coding projects? Alternatively, do you have an idea for a little web app you'd like to see? [more inside]
June 10
Squeaky clean
How do you wash your dishes wearing dish gloves and actually get them completely clean? [more inside]
Two-player turn-based iPhone games for Dad and Teen
I'm looking for two-player turn-based iPhone app games, ideally with a little bit of chat and that don't require sharing information or logging in. [more inside]
Google Docs for dictation plus hundreds of pictures?
Hi! I have a tech-averse friend of a certain age who needs to generate reports with potentially as many as several thousand photos with associated descriptions. There is a proprietary software that generates the reports from the raw material of text and images. She has an employee who uses this proprietary software. This question is about her gathering the raw material. [more inside]
Remote therapy employer that doesn't suck
Mrs. Thief had an accident and is working remote under doctors orders. Long term, she is looking to work remote full time. She's a LCSW and licensed in a couple states.
For those who do this kind of work, which sites would you avoid/recommend? She'd like to be equitable to her clients, so those that do a good job helping their clients is a bonus.
Folk mash-up song?
It's a solo male artist with a guitar singing a mashup of folk songs. I think his last name is Black but I'm not sure. The song ends with "Well it's hard, but it's harder to ignore it. The answer my friends, is blowing in the wind, and rockabye sweet baby James." [more inside]
oh what a tangled web unreliable narrators weave
Someone told me an elaborate whopper, representing a wish fulfillment fantasy as reality; I would like to understand better the mental and emotional state that can produce that "genre" of a lie. Details below. [more inside]
what terminal is my flight at?
I am flying porter airlines from SFO to Toronto. My email from porter says I am at terminal i (not 1). But I do not see a terminal i. Some sources say porter leaves from international terminal A, some say from Harvey Milk. Anyone know what's up?
Basic physics question
I’ve managed to confuse myself (it’s not hard) about objects supposedly accelerating at the same rate when you drop them. More inside. [more inside]
Self-employed tax credits for sick and family leave during Covid?
A freelancer friend just told me about a relatively unknown Covid-era tax credit that may be still available to folks like us. I'm wondering if this it worth pursuing. [more inside]
What's up with E-Cards these days?
Need to coordinate getting a card signed by people across the state. What is the best in e-cards these days? [more inside]
ID a specific monument location in Père Lachaise Cemetery
I want to find a specific monument from a photo in Pere Lachaise Cemetary in Paris so I can find it in person. [more inside]
Education funds across countries
My husband and I would love to start education funds for our niece and nephews. We are in the US, his family is in Canada (Quebec specifically). We're happy to set aside the money in a regular ol' account here, but maybe there's a better way? I don't believe the parents have this figured out on their end yet, but if there's a way for us to contribute to something they'd need to open, we're totally happy with that too. Anyone familiar with what our options may be? [more inside]
What made me ill in my meal-prep?
Made some frozen burritos last week, all were fine - except after one which made me super nauseated. What the hell happened there, and is there something with meal prep food safety I'm missing? [more inside]
What to buy the office with excess supply money?
Our office is budgeted about $10,000 a year from big evil corporate to spend on "supplies". Things like batteries, keyboards, mice, chairs, etc. This year, so far, we have spent about $3,000. And you know the drill, what you don't use, you lose! Last year we bought a grill, a mini fridge, etc. People generally have comfortable standing desks and chairs already. What open-office-supplies would be nice to have that would fit this spending amount for a team of ~30 people?
Can I still find a puffer jacket in Calgary?
We're from Atlanta, Georgia (where it's already warm), and we'll be travelling with our children to Calgary next week. The problem is that our kids have outgrown this year's winter jackets and the stores around us all have beach gear for sale instead of any remaining winter apparrel. Can anyone tell me if there's any place in Calgary where we might still be able to buy puffer jackets for them? I've checked Wal-Mart's website, but it doesn't look like they're still in stock :(. Any suggestions would be helpful, thanks!
How to delete files from Adobe Cloud storage?
I accidentally saved a file to Adobe Cloud Storage in Acrobat. I want to delete it, but when I sign in to https://assets.adobe.com/cloud-documents with the same email. I don't see it there. Where can I go to delete this file? It still says "successfully saved to Adobe Cloud Storage" in Acrobat.
Mother-Daughter Getaways Near Baltimore?
My five-year-old daughter and I have ten weeks of summer break stretching out ahead of us. I stay home with her, and much of the break will be spent at swim lessons or running in sprinklers while eating popsicles.
However, I'd like to organize a couple of Mother-Daughter overnight trips to break up the routine.
Berkeley Springs was a big hit when we went before.
We like outdoorsy, but not super challenging, waffles, donuts, lots of downtime, and cool playgrounds. Museums and cultural type destinations would be too much stress - my kid wants to touch EVERYTHING.
Any suggestions?
Is my landlord breaching "reasonable enjoyment"?
After living in unsafe environments my entire life, I finally have moved to a place that I thought was going to be safe. However, there are some things that have happened in the (just over) month I have been living here. Due to a history of traumatic experiences, including living experiences, resulting in anxiety/PTSD, I am not sure if I am making mountains out of molehills, or if these occurrences are actually not okay. I have a great therapist, and we are working on boundaries, and trusting my gut, but currently, I still struggle with these. [more inside]
Seeing a neurologist for migraines later. I have a headache. Suck it up?
I have an appointment for later today to see a neurologist about migraines. I have a headache now. I don't know if it's a migraine, yet. Should I throw my usual pound of OTC pills at it, or is there some benefit to actually having the headache when I go? To further complicate things, if I take medication now I may be able to forestall anything absolutely terrible and I have to take my son to baseball tonight (out in the sun) and it would be absolutely miserable to have a migraine tonight.
Dog-centered readings or perspectives on pet loss/grief?
We lost a beloved, much-too-young dog under traumatic circumstances last week, and we are having trouble processing the loss. A friend pointed me to this Blair Braverman piece, which I found helpful, and I'm looking for similar ways of thinking about our relationships with our dogs. [more inside]
Still Covid-positive on home antigen tests on Day 20
I’ve heard people can test positive for weeks or months, but that seems to be on PCR tests, and/or people with underlying health issues or who had severe symptoms. It seems unusual for someone like me. Is it? What might it mean? Data and anecdata both welcome. [more inside]
Are these really otters?
We were hiking with our dog this morning around a loch in a remote area of northwestern Scotland and came across a sight we'd never seen before. Were our eyes playing tricks on us or could this really be hundreds of otters swimming in the loch?
Otters??? [more inside]
How common is this sexual dynamic?
I am trying to get a feeling for how common particular pattern that is present in my sexual relationship with my partner, and whether her or my (or both) of our reactions are reasonable. [more inside]
"Invisible" phone/ wallpaper
There's got to be a non-scammy app that feeds the camera live to the background image, right? Android. [more inside]
June 9
Free resources to improve my singing
I’d like to improve my singing. [more inside]
I sailed my ship of safety til I sank it
The confluence of circumstance, inertia, and an unexpected hearing of that certain Indigo Girls song led me to wonder about other such songs, poem, stories (incl. your stories). Interested to hear or read of other reflections on recovering from having become lost or diminished or paralyzed in a fear that we'd thought was serving us, but ends up being much more of a detriment & brings us to rob ourselves of possibilities.
Would love to hear whatever you've got, no matter what or how small. It's only life, afterall. [more inside]
Loving your child with ex's traits
I'm childless and never married. I've always been curious if as a divorced parent, and you see traits of your ex,physical or otherwise, in the child as they grow up, [more inside]
"What is this?", episode elebenty-billion
I'm still playing Real Estate Scavenger Hunt, and have come across yet another item (or, in this case, multiple items) I haven't a clue what they are. Can you help? The image is here.
What's a good, ideally free replacement for Photoshop Mix
I used to use Photoshop Mix for iphone for very basic things, erasing background on one photo and plonking it into another photo for comic effect. It has vanished in a puff of capitalism. Is there a good substitute for this kind of thing?
"Gas money" in 2024
How many cents per mile should I ask my friend for, after a carpool trip using my car? [more inside]
Automotive Electronic Display Gone Glitchy - Gremlins?
I'm trying to diagnose why my car's touch screen has been losing it's mind lately, and need brainy or experienced people to help me figure it out. Bonus for figuring out how to make it stop. [more inside]
Airline Ticket Refund Policies
I am considering a flight via Delta to visit a dying parent. If the person dies before my visit, is the ticket refundable? [more inside]
Recouping taxes paid on casino winnings as a non-resident
Asking for my parents: Any info on recouping taxes paid as a Canadian on casino winnings in the US? [more inside]
Tompkins Square Park, NYC: WHY ALWAYS A PUNK FESTIVAL?
It seems that every weekend there is the most awful live punk music playing in the park. WHY only pink music?? Yeah, yeah the East Village, punk, sure, but we're not all punk rock fans and the lands are SO LOUD that as far as I'm. concerned the park is virtually Unusable by the likes of a 73-year-old like me. Is there any way I can complain? I'm sure as hell not going to call 311! Is there a schedule of music anywhere that I can see? Any string quartets coming in future weeks? Folk music?? Or is that too West Village?
Ways to find truly off-the-beaten path travel destinations?
My husband and I are avid travelers -- like everyone else these days, it seems. While we love big cities, I've found that many to be full-to-bursting at the seams with tourists, even in the off-seasons now -- and it makes me feel keenly guilty for ruining the place for others. Moreover, even when avoiding cities, Instagram and TripAdvisor feel like they've routed everyone to the same quaint mountain towns, hikes, islands, experiences. How do I plan a trip where I won't be tripping over others just like myself? [more inside]
Kennedy Space Center Launch Tips!
We will be in FL within driving distance the day of the next scheduled launch. We will go to Kennedy Space Center for the day. Their hours are 9-5. The launch is at 5:16pm. We do not want to pay $250 per person for launch tickets. What are our best options for seeing as much of the launch as we can? Will we see it from the parking lot? A nearby beach? Which one? [more inside]
Song Quotes for a Eulogy
I am giving my father's eulogy next weekend. He was not a religious man, nor a conventionally spiritual one. I'd like to have a quote from a song instead, to wrap things up. [more inside]
I've got a baby bunny stuck under the sink in my kitchen. What do I do?
I know this sounds insane, but a baby bunny got into my house and has fled underneath my kitchen sink via a gap in the baseboard. The empty space behind the baseboard runs the length of the entire side of the kitchen.
I'd like to get the bunny out without hurting it or destroying my kitchen cabinets and sink.
Where can an person read about Greek queer culture in English?
A friend's father was Greek, and they have a strong sense of Greek identity but only minimal Greek language skills. They regularly visit their Greek family but are nowhere close to fluent. We're both queer, and they do a lot of work in queer spaces here in the US. They are curious about what Greek queer culture is like (related to both sexual orientation and gender identity). However, they are having trouble finding information that is in English, or at least mostly in English. Any recommendations? [more inside]
Traveling with dog through Denver, looking for non-astroturf potty area
Are there any patches of grass or dirt immediately outside of the Denver arrival/departure terminals to take my dog potty? [more inside]
Gonna Get Myself Connected
I purchased a cheap Aldi power washer and I'm looking to get some accessories but I'm having trouble figuring out the type of connector. [more inside]
Simple grammar question that has baffled me
I'm confused about the grammar in a quote from a book. It's from Dune, and it's printed as "That which submits rules." Now, to my eyes, it looks like there should be a comma there: "That which submits, rules." What grammar principles apply in this situation? Where can I find an explanation of them? Or can you explain what's going on? [more inside]
Out of Whack with HAVC
Planning a significant Reno to my small home (less that 2000 sq ft). Spiraling in Heat Pump world on YouTube. Inverters, SEER, 2 phase, COP's, back up furnace. Need a professional consult. Reccos for an heat pump/HVAC expert on eastern Long Island, NY? [more inside]
Podcasts about crime/murders that you get a chance to solve
This is for a group activity of people gathered together who will listen to the podcast for around an hour or an hour and half, and then pause the podcast to talk about it. Looking for recent, well-done podcasts that tell a story in an engaging way about crime or murder - presenting evidence and suspects, and encourage the participants to figure out the perpetrator and how they did it, revealing it all at the end with an obvious point to pause the podcast and have a real life group discussion before the big reveal. I prefer less gore/sexual assault/children involved it possible and it can be true crime (although preferred) or fictional. Canada content would be a bonus.
Baby gift ideas needed
A coworker is expecting her second baby this summer. My usual go-to gift is a tote bag full of board books, but she's a librarian and they have tons of books. What can I get her that she probably won't already have and that will be fun and unique? $30-40 range. Ideas?
Short term relief for hyperthyroid kitty
We have a vet appointment – but not until Thursday. What can I do to make here more comfortable for the next few days and until meds kick in? [more inside]
What cloud back-up service should I use?
As we saw in my last AskMe, I really need to up my back-up game. What service should I use? I'm leaning towards iDrive unless you tell me different. I have two PCs and might want to do my parents PC too. [more inside]
Final Fantasy
Have you successfully changed the content of your sexual fantasies? How? [more inside]
Help me not lose my shit with healthcare workers
My parent is at the mercy of an under-resourced, toxic, fucking atrocious hospital. I was civil for the first week and I am starting to crack. Help me keep it together enough so that as POA I don’t get kicked out. [more inside]
June 8
Do professional chefs and bakers need glass eyeglass lenses?
I understand that various coatings on plastic and polycarbonate eyeglass lenses don’t hold up in high heat environments. Is an uncoated non-glass lens prone to damage or deformation after prolonged exposure to the high temperatures of a professional kitchen, bakery or barbecue? [more inside]
Counties Mayo and Clare, Ireland - travel recommendations
Partner and I will be visiting Ireland this August (by car) and spending about a week on the west coast, mostly County Mayo and a bit in County Clare, to visit grandparents' hometowns. Looking for any personal recommendations for places to stay and to visit. Interests include birding, walking, history (especially ancient), and traditional music. Open to B&Bs or hotels or even castles if not too fancy. [more inside]
Manual coffee grinder
I would like to buy a manual coffee grinder. It will get very light use, as I drink just one 12oz cup of coffee a day and (I think) I would be happy to grind enough for that one glorious cup every day.
I know nothing about them and would like some help choosing one. Under $100, please.
Team Offsite Activities for a small team?
pretty much what it says on the tin- [more inside]
Apple Numbers (MacOS) - how to automatically copy rows to another table?
In Apple Numbers I have a table that I add data to frequently. How do I get all rows in this table that contain a certain value in column X (actually a word from a drop-down menu) to be automatically copied in their entirety to a second table? I know they could just be copy/pasted manually, but I want such rows to appear in the second table automatically as I add data to the main table. [more inside]
How to Re-Learn Reading Music?
So I took the plunge and started piano lessons which I'm really enjoying! But now I want to amp up my music reading / music theory skills. I was able to read music 25 years ago so surely I can do it again. I'm looking for resources to help me do this while my piano teacher is on summer break. I'm a visual learner so books are ideal but I'm open to online tutorials. Looking for free resources or things I can get at the library.
Broke a housemate's things
I have lived with someone for about two years and have chipped one of her plates and burned a spatula a bit on the stove. Yesterday I chipped another one of her plates while she was out of town. What do I do? [more inside]
Any way to make the sound better on this short video?
I'm going to present this video at a Zoom presentation on Monday. It started life as part of a VHS tape (in 1990). Then I had it digitized. Is there anyway to improve the sound (by Monday morning)?
I have Audacity if that helps. And a PC laptop. And an iPad.
Trying to remember blog from "back in the day."
This was a blog by a guy who I remember for several different things. [more inside]
We want to see the cool ancient Roman stuff!
We love Roman history and I want to take my husband to see the best of it. Our challenges is we are probably a bit more crowd-averse than average and our time line is likely April 2025... it's Easter week. [more inside]
Gift of money to friend
Is it impolite to Venmo a token amount of money, say, $50 to a friend who let me stay overnight at their place while I am in town?
Or what other ways can I show my appreciation? Gifts, ideas, etc ?
I will be writing a short thank u post it and leaving a few sundry food items. [more inside]
My laptop won't start...freaking out
My laptop won't down to 0 battery and wouldn't charge. I bought a new cable because tye light on the cable wasn't turning on i assumed the cable was bad. The new cable won't charge either. I need this computer. Help? Either fix it or get a new one and get my files over stat. [more inside]
Claim resolution negotiation: bike edition
I was doored by an employee of a national corporation some months ago. I was assigned a "resolution manager" who paid me quickly for the damage to my bike and told me the company would also provide me a second amount of money to cover other damages. They keep following up, and I finally have time to engage. YANML, but can you advise me? [more inside]
have you successfully overcome deep, painful feelings of jealousy/envy?
Looking for effective coping skills and/or meaningful excerpts of philosophy/literature about this topic [more inside]
June 7
Find A Home for Mom's Contemporary African Scupture in Atlanta
My now-deceased mother worked at a reputable art gallery for many years and had access to and collected a medium-sized amount of African sculpture from across the continent. After her passing a few years ago I find myself in possession of quite a few pieces (25-30 small sculptures, combs, masks, of mostly Yoruba origin) collected since the early 1990s. As I understand it, these pieces were created for international sale (they aren't antique or anything, but they are high quality).
Holding on to them feels weird to me and I would rather they find a more proper home. [more inside]
Fun spots to eat in Philadelphia
I'll be in Philadelphia for a couple days at the end of July. I haven't been there in a while. What are good, current spots for food located in walkable distance around Center City and South Philadelphia? Reservation-grade joints that would be okay with a one-person seating would be ideal. I like fish. I like vegan (if interesting and delicious). Mexican, Japanese, Italian, American, etc. I'll eat most anything except for lamb and heavily-fried dishes. Thanks for any recos!
Outdoor Dining in DC
We're getting ready for our first long vacation in awhile, in Washington DC towards the end of this month. We're still COVID-cautious and looking for recommendations for outdoor dining near the typical touristy places and DuPont Circle. [more inside]
Aargh! The stink! Make it stop!
It seems that no matter what I try, no matter what sponges/dishcloths I buy, they end up really stinky in a very short time. So stinky that they transfer the stink to my hands and whatever was wiped with them. I've gotten to the point that I avoid using them at all and opt for a paper towel instead, which isn't the most environmentally sound solution. Help? [more inside]
What does "outrage" look like?
Many of my fellow American liberals frequently complain about the media's coverage of Trump and the Republican Party. They say things like "Where is the outrage? Why not call it out as fascism? Why treat [X] as legitimate political policy and not the horrifying violation of the Constitution that it is?" [more inside]
What happened in the Saint John NB Home Depot 2 days ago?
My mother says she was in the Home Depot in Saint John, New Brunswick on June 5 and that a group of police — "not the regular police" — entered the store and locked it down, forcing shoppers and staff to stand (not sit!) at one end of the store until things were clear and that this took 2 to 3 hours. They were then let go witout explanation. I can find nothing in the news. What happened? [more inside]
Theme park summer wear - help me not melt
I am shortly going to be spending many days at a very hot and humid theme park with my tween (who is feeling better). How am I going to survive the heat? Is linen or a tech fabric better? Sleeveless or protect more from the sun? Lightweight sneakers for support or Tevas?
Looking for suggestions for materials and specific clothing items. I don’t generally do dresses or skirts, especially since I’ll be riding lots of rides.
author's wife ID
Long ago I read a memoir by a fiction writer whose wife died after a fall down the stairs outside their house. I could have sworn the writer was J.G. Ballard. But according to Wikipedia, his wife died of pneumonia. Who am I thinking of?
Automated texting tool with these features?
An organization I volunteer with maintains a waiting list of people looking for a certain type of assistance. We would like to send weekly text messages to the people on the waiting list to inquire if they are still in need of assistance. [more inside]
Voting in General Elections for Beginners
After jumping through the requisite hoops I now find myself able to vote in UK elections for the first time ever! I'll be voting by post as an Overseas Voter.
However, I need some help and guidance as this is entirely new to me. Is there a good primer for people who know nothing about voting in UK that is unbiased and helpful? I'm looking for information on both how the system works, and how to choose a candidate aligned with my interests and who also won't be a wasted vote.
Murakami and Apple Pie
I'm reading Haruki Murakami's latest novel 'The City and Its Uncertain Walls' ( 街とその不確かな壁) in Dutch translation. In the book, the two main characters go out for 'koffie met appeltart' or 'coffee with apple pie'. Can anyone who has access to the Japanese original tell me if this is changed from the original and if so what the two characters are actually eating. [more inside]
June 6
from one neurodivergent family member to another
A kid in my family is deeply struggling with their neurodivergence. How can I, a fellow neurodivergent family member, best support them? [more inside]
If I Started Using a VPN in SE Asia, Could This Mess With My Banking?
I've been living in different SEA countries for the past 6 months. My main US banks do not require travel notes, so I'm guessing they're using my phone location to inform them where I am. If I now start using a VPN - e.g. Mullvad (which does not have a server in my current country - VT) - could this cause banking issues/ security alerts on my cards because I'm futzing with my location? [more inside]
Books and Resources for the recently widowed
My older and recently widowed neighbor is progressive, sharp, and tough, but is feeling a bit displaced in the world after her longtime partner passed away suddenly this winter. Not averse to self-help, but curious if there is fiction, movies, albums, OR self-help that was useful to you in dealing with this abrupt displacement. I can google; I want to know what was useful for you. Thanks and kiss your loved ones.
PDR for THC gummies?
Is there some kind of equivalent to the old Physicians' Desk Reference manual for THC infused gummies? I remember back in the dark ages of my long-ago youth we could look up random pills in the PDR. So, I have some gummies somebody gave me last year and I want to know what they are so I can buy some more at a legal weed store. [more inside]
Books or resources for supporting a partner who has been abused?
My girlfriend of two months has had a severely traumatic childhood and past marriage. I would like to be a good partner for her and support her every way I can. Aside from talking with her, which I'm already doing, what books, resources, or other support is available to someone in my position? (CW: some details of past abuse inside) [more inside]
Would you eat this granola?
A bird flew into my kitchen, pecked a hole in the bag of granola, then ate some granola. Would you eat the rest of the granola in the bag? This is a big bag of hippie granola that cost $19
How does this frame work?
I bought this frame, it uses the little metal tabs to keep the back attached. How am I supposed to open it? [more inside]
Songs about memory (not just memories)
I want to listen to songs that aren't necessarily about specific memories but about the act of remembering, or the weight of so many memories, or remembering useless stuff, etc. No misty watercolor memories please; "You or Your Memory" is a little indirect, and obv I know the Cats song. The word "memory" isn't required as long as it's on these themes.
Mechanical copy machine counter?
Like 25 years ago, copy shops like Kinko's had mechanical counters about the size of a small TV remote that plugged in to the copy machine to activate it. They'd count your impressions with a rotating number, much like a combo lock or a mechanical people tally-clicker, and then you brought the counter up to pay. What is this called, and is it still made? Are there copy machines that are compatible still made?
Tracking app for daily events with ratings
I would like to use an android app to record and track when I do certain things each day, multiple times per day, with a score each time. I don't know the right terms to search for. [more inside]
Youtube videos for teens and younger that are "Lost in Translation"
I am working on an information literacy presentation for K-12 students and in it I want to include some youtube clips that include vocabulary, situations, or otherwise that might be lost in translation. [more inside]
Find the very model of a metered meta manuscript
I'm looking for a paper I once read on the topic of prosody in prose. The entire paper was written in metered verse disguised as prose. I suspect I may have seen it on MetaFilter in the first place, but I'm having trouble finding it.
How to effectively interact with dog owners.
Yet, again, another question from me about dogs. How do I interact with the owner of an unleashed dog without making them defensive? [more inside]
How to get hired for part time with experiences in other fields?
Now, to a point that I should look for temp/part time jobs other than my previous experience and skills. I see my local store that I like has an opening. What should I tell employers to get hired their part time positions? [more inside]
Public domain jukebox video clip
I'm looking for a public-domain overhead shot of a 45 being played in a jukebox, but I can't find anything on archive.org. Help? [more inside]
Remixed Classical-ish Music
I’ve been enjoying Max Richter’s Recomposed Vivaldi and Lara Downes’ Rhapsody in Blue Reimagined. Both of these recordings take music that I have listened to my whole life and present it in new and surprising ways, and I am looking for more like this. Your recommendations are much appreciated!
How to road trip solo with my pup?
Particularly the pit stops for me. I have her covered! We travel with Margaret frequently, so we know some great places to let her stretch and have water and pee. But we're usually together and someone walks her or sits in the car with the AC when one of us has to stop. I have a semi-emergency and have to road trip last minute with her. What do I do in the summer (hot and humid here, but not as bad as it could be, 80-85) when I have to get out and run in to use the bathroom? [more inside]
Meal gift in London, England
I'd like to send a food delivery gift card to someone in London England.
If they were in Canada, I'd email them an Uber Eats gift card - what's the equivalent? [more inside]
dumb device to listen for beeps and boops
My office room is on the other side of my apartment from the kitchen and front door, and I often fail to hear my intercom system, doorbell, or kitchen appliances. Is there a relatively "dumb" device (i.e., not an Alexa) that can generate a remote alert when a kitchen appliance beeps or the doorbell rings? [more inside]
June 5
how do I charge my rental EV
I've got a rental EV - a Hyunai. I've never used an EV before. I need to return it tomorrow morning, and need to find a place to charge it quickly I think. (I could charge it overnight at my hotel, but the charger here is broken). How do I find a place to charge it? I'm in Healdsburg, CA, and driving down to San Francisco tomorrow...
Rescued puppy lunging and snapping
The first day (yesterday) went great. Today, she lunged and snarled at me several times. How do we decide whether to keep her? [more inside]
Help me find this thing I saw on social media about division of labor
On Insta, I saw a post that maybe originated there or TikTok or elsewhere: it was an example of the way household chores are handled, and started on a tight circle and then zoomed out as a man explained it. I want to find it again and failed to save it; details inside. [more inside]
Concrete-Coated Styrofoam Insulation Board Options & Alternatives
Making a small outdoor fountain out of stacked styrofoam insulation board with the intention of coating it in concrete to give it a rocky texture. Concrete will not stick to styrofoam, so my thought was to glue burlap to the board and then apply concrete to the burlap. I'm a little hesitant to go that route though as the layers of burlap and concrete may obscure the shape of the fountain (Basically going for a striated mesa thing) and it'll end up looking like a big gray turd. Looking for suggestions or techniques that may also be effective for finishing the exterior. Thanks!
Resources on French NAZI collaborators in Quebec
Hello! How are you? I'm looking for resources (academic or otherwise) that chronicle the presence of French citizenry/civil service/Vichy political officials that fled to Quebec after the War. [more inside]
Canadian roaming in US - why is internet cell so bad? Can it be better?
I'm based in Canada and travel periodically to the US. I use Bell's roaming plan. In the US, the internet connection on my phone is *terrible*. Is there reason for this? Is there a way to make it better? (Right now I am in Healdsburg, CA, but I get pretty bad reception when I'm in bigger places, too...)
Help me figure out sunscreen
Every chemical sunscreen I've tried seems to sting my face. It feels fine at first, but after a few days of daily use my skin starts getting irritated by it. They're fine on the rest of my body. I've tried a few different types of mineral sunscreen and can't seem to find one with a texture I like... [more inside]
Can I Eat This? (It Is About Cheese.)
Left some Sargento sliced cheese out (still sealed) for a full seven days and am too fond of cheese to get rid of it without a second guess. It has been in my fridge for awhile now. Can I eat? Or would you eat? [more inside]
Scenic stops? London->North Yorkshire; North Yorkshire->Edinburgh
In July I'm traveling by train from London to Pickering, North Yorkshire, for an event. After that, I'm continuing by train to Edinburgh. I'd like to stop for a night or two to break up both trips. But where? [more inside]
This rug smells like feet
My bathmat got inadvertently over-soaked last week and although I hung it up to dry, it developed A Stank, somewhere between dog and feet. I have done a number of things to try and unstank it which I will detail within -- is there something else I should do or do I just need a new bathmat? [more inside]
Potsdam NY Me-Fites!
What are your recommendations for places to get gift cards for a new SUNY student? [more inside]
Patience with getting fit in my 40s
How do/did you manage not to rush your fitness improvement? How were you able to embrace "slow and steady wins the race"? [more inside]
Affordable tools or DIY approaches to build an alumni community?
Do you know of any free or cheap tools or reasonable DIY options to build an online alumni directory to help 20+ years of alumni of a small, quirky high school find and connect with each other? [more inside]
Need reccs for a men's light silk t shirt for work
Need reccs for a men's light but well-made T-shirt for warmer office work. I mean a wear alone tshirt, not an undershirt. If there's a performance silk fabric that wicks sweat and helps with sweat smell that would be a big plus, something along the lines of the copper (silver?) infused performance fabrics. Handwash is fine and indeed if it can be thrown in a sink, washed lightly and hung overnight to dry that would be great. Thanks!
Cotton socks would rock
I want some nice, stretchy, medium-thickness, medium-dressiness everyday crew or ankle socks that are all cotton except for maybe some spandex or elastane. Who still makes these? [more inside]
June 4
How can I play computer audio into my iPhone microphone?
After learning I could customize the Waze voice directly, it became clear what I wanted mine to sound like. But I'm running into some difficulty getting the audio in directly. [more inside]
Ketamine therapy… is it working? What next if not
I recently completed 6 sessions with an online ketamine therapy provider. The results were minimal. I’m now two sessions in to IV ketamine treatment, and I don’t feel like it’s going well. Looking for others’ personal experiences or recommendations. [more inside]
Caring for a wooden cutting board
Do you have a beautiful, chonky wooden cutting board that you regularly care for so it lasts? What is it and how are you caring for it? [more inside]
Share the music love (in a limited way)
I am teaching a (free) dance sampler class this summer, using a variety of styles of music. I'd like class participants to have access to the music I use in class, to listen to outside of class. I can go as old-school as burning cds if necessary, but would prefer a digital solution. What's the best way to do this? [more inside]
Recommend an excellent book series for a long trip?
I'm going on a trip for a few weeks and I'd like to load up my Kindle with a book series or two. Basically some characters I can follow along a journey with and enjoy for the length of the trip. I lean fantasy and mystery with some romance, but open to all genres. No YA. [more inside]
Safe residential programs for teens
Seeking recommendations, based on your direct personal or professional experience, for residential programs that can help my son, who will be 17 in two months. [more inside]
Majorly fatigued and scared
I am dealing with serious fatigue and will be seeing a couple of Drs but at this point I'm seriously scared. [more inside]
Powerful noisy fan sought
This fan must be both powerful and noisy. I do not want a quiet fan or a fan that is noisy because it is cheap and not good at blowing air. [more inside]
CD player with Bluetooth?
We have a Sonos setup in our house. We want to add a CD player to it. Any recommendations? [more inside]
Best way to get from CDG to New Hotel Saint Lazare?
Hi, I need to get from Charles de Gaulle to New Hotel Saint Lazare in Paris, next Monday around 18:30. My French is très so-so and I have mobility issues (it's painful for me to walk long distances or stand for more than a few minutes at a time). A pre-ordered Uber is like €100, and the better-rated pre-booked airport taxis are even more. Cheaper airport taxis (e.g., G7, Alpha taxis, around €65) are rated very low on Google. What do you think my best option is?
Looking for introductory resources for kink
I'd like to have more kink in my relationship, and in principle my partner's on board. However, they're extremely ignorant of any of it, and I'm looking for specific kinds of materials to help 'get them up to speed' so we can have healthier conversations. [more inside]
video streaming that doesn't need me to say "save" for it to save
I want to create an iPhone Shortcut that will automatically (or as close as possible) start streaming a live video. But I'm imagining a dangerous situation in which the iPhone might be stolen / smashed / thrown in a nearby creek or otherwise disabled.
In other words, a baddie now has control over whether my video / stream lives or dies.
Which video streaming service(s) (e.g. YouTube, Twitch, Instagram, Facebook) will keep my live streamed video if it gets suddenly canceled? And, ideally, which of those services are integrated with the Shortcuts app?
Any ideas on a lightweight hypervisor-ish way to boot containers?
I need to dev on Linux on my laptop. RPM-Ostree with heavy virtualization are hot right now and work well, but a lot of underlying tech assumes you’re in a data center and
Can just blow your system away (coreos/ostree) which is what Fedors Silverblue is based off of. The virtualization especially with my nvidia works great but on a laptop it isn’t possible to PXEi boot. The new flavor is boot-c (container as OS basically) and solves a lot of issues but has me thinking, there a lightweight hypervisor I can boot into and treat these OS’s as disposable while still letting virtualization go through and laptop functions like hibernate and power management (more tricky NVidia pass through “just work.” [more inside]
Intermittant Dysphagia and IBS - here one day, gone the next
Strangest thing ever. Intermittent dysphagia and IBS. Had IBS symptoms for years. Abdominal pain and digestive issues. The gamut. [more inside]
ADHD meds question
We have an appointment for my son later today so I will get the doctor's recommendation, but wanted to ask here: if Focalin and Adderall were not very effective and gave my son bad side effects (anxiety, mood swings), is it worth trying other methylphenidates or other amphetamine meds?
If guanfacine did absolutely nothing, is it worth trying other non-stimulants? [more inside]
Are there any reputable, affordable online therapy options?
Occasionally (such as right now...) I go through some things where I'd like to speak with a therapist. Unfortunately, where I live, getting a therapist is a several-months process, and after several months the urgency of my initial need is gone. Right now there's several things on my mind that I'd like to talk through with a therapist - I've looked at the commercial options like "betterhelp" etc., but seen lots of warnings about quality. [more inside]
Coming to terms with confidentiality clause after bad experience
I'm (probably) about to reach a settlement with a past employer. There will probably be 2 clauses in the settlement that will prevent me from talking about the bad stuff that happened, or saying anything derogatory about them (so I can't warn others in my field). I have the legal side covered, but how do I cope with this emotionally? [more inside]
Help Me research some old booze
We found this bottle of spirits in an "antiques" store of sorts and I've become intensely curious about it. I have questions that I hope someone here can help answer. [more inside]
June 3
Mods for Civ 6
I bought Civ 6 ages ago and have finally got around to playing it. It's great! But I'd like to be able to just noodle around building things without having to deal with other players or constant barbarian incursions. Is this possible? I just want to play the most boring version of this game I can. [more inside]
What is the absolute coolest thing to give a nine year-old girl?
We're visiting our favorite cousins in Romania next month, including their very awesome nine year-old daughter. What is the very coolest up-to-the-minute thing that little girls 9-to-11 like? Note: things that are thoughtful or non-material are easy; she has great parents. They take care of her imagination and heart. We're the weird Americans who show up with awesome junk she can't get in Romania. Toys, clothes, electronic, whatever.
Selling a Used Car in 2024
I'm looking to sell a 8 year old car in good shape this year (something like a 12-14k car in the US). I don't need the money to buy a new (used) car, nor do I get any tax benefits in my state by trade-in. So what will get me the most money for a low-ish amount of hassle? Think of the quadrant in one corner of trading it in the dealership I buy my new used car, and in another quadrant selling it through craigslist or facebook marketplace. What's in the middle? [more inside]
Thinking about bringing my cat with me to my boyfriend's.
Thinking about bringing me cat with my when I spend time at my boyfriend's. Good idea or bad idea? [more inside]
What are these weird clouds?
While flying home from a conference, a friend saw these weird clouds or weird cloud-adjacent arcs. What are they? Alternatively, does anyone have a Google search term I can put in to learn more? If it helps, the flight was east from Phoenix.
Best digital newspaper subscription these days (US focus)?
I've been a digital subscriber to the Washington Post for several years, and I'm wondering if I'm better off spending money elsewhere. Are any of you happier with the mix of regional, national, and features with one of the other major papers, along with a handy daily dose of headlines to your inbox?
Spending 4 nights in London, 5 nights in Paris in October. Hotels?
Would love any current recommendations for hotels no more than 250-280 a night. Are we crazy to try and hit that low of a rate? We are (2 adult) traveling n00bs, so if we have to pay a bit more just for our general peace of mind, that's fine. [more inside]
How to think about power?
When you think about two sides of a conflict, how do you personally assess which side has the most power? This question is open to any kind of conflict - between 2 adults on the street, between 2 kids, between 2 employees at a business, between 2 communities or demographics, between 2 countries, between a group of people and a government, etc etc etc. I'm looking for ways to compare and measure power. Also looking for helpful ways to think about situations where people feel powerless even when they have many powerful traits and outcomes. Examples inside! [more inside]
Someone jogging with a stick, jar on the end, touching lamp posts. Why?
In Cambridge UK (in case it's relevant) today, the traffic was crawling. Looking round I noticed that a woman was jogging along the pavement carrying a pole, maybe 4ft long. The pole hung vertically from her hand. At the bottom of the pole was what looked like a jar, attached to the pole with tape. Each time she reached a lamp post, she lowered the pole so the jar touched the post, paused a second or so, then jogged on. WHAT WAS SHE DOING?
Children's books with dad as the caregiver
Father's Day is coming up and I'd like to gift myself some books to read with my daughter that feature a dad as a caregiver--actively doing childcare or giving emotional care. Ten, Nine, Eight by Molly Bang and Good Night, Little Bear by Patsy and Richard Scarry are great examples. My daughter is four and is fine with books a little above and below that age range. [more inside]
Why are the cedar trees attracting a huge amount of wasps?
We have two hedge rows of cedar trees dividing our back yard. This year there are so many wasps flying on either sides that it’s uncomfortable. I’ve watched them and tried to track them but it seems just random flying and sitting on the leaves so it doesn’t seem related to hives. We trimmed the hedges but we do every year and we never had this issue.
What can it be and also what can we do about it. I am not enjoying being out there now.
One ereader to rule them all
Does this exist yet? An E-reader and digital note taking device for the following use cases:
Reading ebooks that I purchase or from the library
Reading magazines from the library and that I subscribe to
Reading blogs on Feedly
Reading comics in color
Downloading PDFs to read & take notes on
Taking notes in meetings
Possibly for sketching/drawing (less important)
Note: I do NOT want to use this to look at the wider internet or social media [more inside]
Reading ebooks that I purchase or from the library
Reading magazines from the library and that I subscribe to
Reading blogs on Feedly
Reading comics in color
Downloading PDFs to read & take notes on
Taking notes in meetings
Possibly for sketching/drawing (less important)
Note: I do NOT want to use this to look at the wider internet or social media [more inside]
What song / theory is this?
There is a song about the perfect day or the best day ever or similar and the internet used details from the lyrics like the weather and the outcome of a baseball game to determine what day in history it could have actually been about. Does this sound familiar? What's the song? Where can I find the theory?
What software or app is best for planning a room remodel?
What software or app is best for planning a room remodel? I'm planning to renovate a room, converting from a bedroom to an office. I'd like to work with a program or app that will allow me to visualize any possible changes to the furniture and walls. [more inside]
Where should I take my 5 year old daughter on a trip?
My 5 year old daughter has earned a weekend away with me as a reward (she picked this as a reward!) Now I need to figure out where we will go. Details inside. [more inside]
Telling a 6 year old about an autism assessment
We're taking our six year old for an autism assessment. I want them to feel positive about it, and themselves. I've found advice online for how to tell them about a diagnosis, but nothing about the assessment. Any advice would be appreciated! [more inside]
How can you replace the shady administrator of a trust?
I have a friend who is one of three beneficiaries of a large trust. The trustee/admin is behaving inappropriately and discouraging reasonable use of the funds. Is it possible to replace the trustee? More details inside. [more inside]
June 2
Calm this dog and his stomach
What tips or strategies can I try to prevent my dog from eating grass after a nervous night? [more inside]
Family law attorney in Honolulu
I am looking for recommendations for a family law attorney in Honolulu.
Recommend me a pocket or portable road atlas for Chicago and suburbs
I have a dumb phone with directions, but want to use a physical map to navigate more often. Looking for something to use while biking, walking, or driving: a rugged, portable road atlas I can throw in my bag to help me get around the city and suburbs. [more inside]
Montreal Suggestions
I will be attending a conference in Montreal around the Holiday Inn Montreal Centreville later this month.
Amy recommenations for must-see attractions and/or must-visit restaurants? [more inside]
Sending goods from EU to UK
How do I handle taxes issues when sending a household item from the EU to the UK after the glorious Brexit? [more inside]
Tell Me About Your Non-Spring, Non-Foam Mattress
I need a new mattress. I do not like springs. Foam is too hot. Tell me about a mattress you love! [more inside]
How important is sexual attraction to your partner?
I (32F) have broken up with my lovely boyfriend of almost two years. On paper, we were perfect together. He had all of the qualities I could ask for in a partner (kind, generous, motivated, intelligent, handsome, empathetic). [more inside]
Best Headache Log App available for Android?
I would like to log my headaches for presentation to a doctor. I would like to log the following: Date and time, location (i.e. temple, eye, left, right, etc.), other symptoms (nausea, auras etc.), medication taken and time, food eaten recently. Ideally I would also love it if an app could check in with me say every half hour or hour or whatever after I report a headache and be like "is it gone yet?" so I have a record of when it ends. And if it can import weather data that's a bonus, but I don't imagine that's common. I would like to be able to generate a log . What have you used and liked? Willing to pay for an app. [more inside]
remarkable details
nearing the end of Iris Moon's lovely book Melancholy Wedgewood, i happened to check out the google books site (to share a link). a surprise there was that the pages are different. the words are the same, but the actual pages of the printed book i hold are a different color: wedgewood blue (of course 😄). this has me thinking; what other books like this? i hope you'll share any ideas/experience. are there books you know where details differ, especially remarkably so, between digital & print editions? [more inside]
Self taught programer math catchup tutorials?
I'm self teaching Arduino programing and I quit math as soon as possible in high school and that's finally catching up with me. Easy / best way to learn the math I need? [more inside]
Custom lightweight flight cases?
I need a few cases to be frequently checked on airplanes and sometimes shipped via FedEx. These are for calibration boards that are pretty sturdy but need to be protected from impact and bending. The boards are 27"x20"x2". Up until now, we have been using metal-covered plywood cases, foam lined, which are 30"x22"x5" and have a handle on top...and very heavy. I'm hoping we can find a lighter solution. Any suggestions for where to go?
What are some small things that you do for yourself?
I'm looking for some new small enjoyments that I can implement. [more inside]
Small Batch Fruit/Booze Preserve Tips?
A year or so ago I tried an experiment with making rumtopf (well, confiture de vieux garcon) out of a portion of some of my CSA fruit haul. It didn't work so well, but I think that was because I was half-assing it. I wanted to try again this year; how can I ensure success? [more inside]
Luddite needs to get two factor authentication, in Canada
The Luddite is me. What can I say? I am a historian and I don't particularly like spending time in the present. But now I need two factor authentication to continue connecting to just about everything and the many workaround I have been using are no longer sufficient.
Why is this even a problem?
I don't have a cell phone, I don't have a budget for a cell phone and my eyesight isn't good enough to use one without extreme difficulty, and only in a good light, while squinting and muttering. [more inside]
Good, clear, concise "immigrants are not the problem" links
I'm trying to do my small part in rebutting the increasingly common right-wing screeds (in Canada) that immigrants have ruined housing/jobs. What are the clearest, simplest, most fact-driven articles I can link to? [more inside]
Surviving a divorce
Looking back on your own divorce, what did you do right? Looking for your real-life experience making the right choices for yourself emotionally, financially, organizationally, etc.
June 1
AirBnB hosting - how to optimize calendar opening, and pricing
I have an AirBnb in my basement. In my city, guests must stay for at least 28 days. What's the ideal length of time to open the calendar, and adjust pricing, to ensure maximum bookings for the year? [more inside]
How long for Americans to travel through a Japanese airport?
Three Americans (American passports) have a flight from Kansai International Airport (Japan) to Seoul (South Korea). The flight boards on Monday at 8:45 am. What time should we get to the airport?
Should I get a new device to cope with paperless meetings?
If you have imperfect but not dreadful eyesight, need to at least look at not great documentation, and make occasional notes about the content, how do you go about it? [more inside]
Elden Ring after a year + off: how do I remind myself of what I've done?
I've come back to my Elden Ring save with 100+ hours in it after a year or more off. How can I remind myself of what I have done and pending quests and such without spoilers for things I haven't done? [more inside]
What kind of stickers are these?
What kind of stickers are these & where can I buy them? [more inside]
Where to stay outside of Florence, accessible by train?
Please help us fine a lovely small town outside of Florence, accessible by train, to spend a few days with two small children. [more inside]
How long do you keep text messages?
I'm wondering how long most people keep text messages on their phones. And do you transfer messages when you get a new phone? [more inside]
My mouth just doesn't like my mouthguard...
I was able to go in and get my mouthguard adjusted, as per my previous Ask. I now have no problem falling asleep with it inserted, but when I wake up, it's been taken out. How do I stop this from happening? [more inside]
Driving lessons
How do I make a decision about whether to continue driving lessons, and, if I decide not to continue them, how do I feel ok about this? [more inside]
Simple(?) routing between two IP Ranges (subnets?)
App to rank by comparing
I just made seventy pics with a hairstyle app and I would like to pick between two at a time which I prefer until I have a top ten list. Is there an app for this?
ISO: Animal Trading Cards with Animal Facts
You know those little animal cards that come inside National Geographic LIttle Kids? I want to buy like 100 or 500 unique cards like that. Not necessarily the literal national geographic cards, but a card with a nice picture (ideally photo) of the animal on one side and some interesting facts about the animal on the other. Ideally the same facts on every card (e.g. habitat, diet, and size or conservation status, top speed, and latin name,whatever).
Splitting Spilt Pills
I need to split pills into quarters. They're easy to halve, but when I use a pill splitter to halve those halves, frequently the cut will veer to one side, leaving me with one small "half" and one large "half". How can I do this better - with an X-Acto knife? The pills are oval and the upper and lower sides are gently curved (vs flat) - e.g.. Unfortunately a lower dose isn't available, and I don't have access to a compounding pharmacy.
Seeking the holy grail of cat carriers
ISO a really good, easy to use cat carrier, available in the UK. This feels like it should be easy but I have been searching for many months now and it's not! [more inside]
Therapy for the heavily defended
I would like the benefits of therapy, but I am very good at masking, minimizing, misdirection, and other coping mechanisms that directly undermine the process. I can't turn these off voluntarily. Some modalities—psychedelics, hypnotism—seem like they'd turn them off for me, but also don't seem like they're meant for me. Is there another option? [more inside]