Telling a 6 year old about an autism assessment
June 3, 2024 6:19 AM Subscribe
We're taking our six year old for an autism assessment. I want them to feel positive about it, and themselves. I've found advice online for how to tell them about a diagnosis, but nothing about the assessment. Any advice would be appreciated!
Additional info: they're very chatty, inquisitive and energetic. Thanks for your help!
Additional info: they're very chatty, inquisitive and energetic. Thanks for your help!
With a 6 year olds is keep it simple. Something like you're going to go talk to some people about your life and how we do things, they are really interested in what you have to say. There might be some questions just answer them the best you can. Later they are going to talk to us if there is anything we can do differently at home and school to make things easier for all of us.
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:38 AM on June 3, 2024 [8 favorites]
posted by AlexiaSky at 6:38 AM on June 3, 2024 [8 favorites]
Keep it simple and don't foreshadow any particular result. We had our kids assessed for different things when they were ~5 and all they really understood was that a "teacher" was going to talk to them about some things. If they are chatty/outgoing/etc. I don't think you need to say much more than that. If they were going to be upset by the whole thing, that would be different, but, from the experience of my kids (chatty/outgoing etc) it was really no big deal and not something they had many questions about or thought much about after the fact.
posted by Mid at 6:43 AM on June 3, 2024 [4 favorites]
posted by Mid at 6:43 AM on June 3, 2024 [4 favorites]
My talking points: Some people are allistic, some are autistic. It's part of who everyone is. Each group has different needs and it can help to know which one a person belongs to. The assessment is a tool to find out. There are no right or wrong answers and the child should say/do whatever comes most naturally. Nobody will be upset if they say they don't know or don't want to do something. The person doing the assessment works with lots of kids every day and gives good advice about what might help the child.
posted by teremala at 7:36 AM on June 3, 2024 [1 favorite]
posted by teremala at 7:36 AM on June 3, 2024 [1 favorite]
My 4 year old had an autism assessment last week. The way we have explained neurodivergence is that different people's brains work differently, and sometimes that way is called something specific like anxiety, autism, etc. I have anxiety and explained to him that my brain does things in a certain way that some people called anxiety, but try and emphasize that its ok that people's brains are all unique. For the assessment, I explained to him that we were going to see someone who could help us figure out the specific ways in which his brain worked and how we could best support the way his brain works.
posted by snowysoul at 7:51 AM on June 3, 2024 [5 favorites]
posted by snowysoul at 7:51 AM on June 3, 2024 [5 favorites]
My advice would be to keep a close eye on your child's mood and energy level during the assessment. Advocate for a healthy environment.
Neuropsychologists tend to want to burn through a number of tests quickly and with little room for rest and recovery. When my son, similar age, went through an assessment the examiner wanted to do it for 2-3 hours at a time in a windowless room with no breaks or refreshment. We had to intervene when things got too stressful.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:07 AM on June 3, 2024 [4 favorites]
Neuropsychologists tend to want to burn through a number of tests quickly and with little room for rest and recovery. When my son, similar age, went through an assessment the examiner wanted to do it for 2-3 hours at a time in a windowless room with no breaks or refreshment. We had to intervene when things got too stressful.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:07 AM on June 3, 2024 [4 favorites]
"We're meeting a person named __ who is really interested in how kids learn and play, so she wants to ask you questions and do quizzes to learn about how you learn and play! Some of it will be fun, and some might be a bit tricky but still interesting! Just try everything!"
Make sure kiddo is really well rested, well-fed, the transition to get there isn't rushed, consider getting a morning time slot so kiddo is fresh, or pulling them from school all day or quite early. Tell kiddo it's ok to ask for breaks, and you, parent, can, too. And bring nourishing snacks.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:28 AM on June 3, 2024 [7 favorites]
Make sure kiddo is really well rested, well-fed, the transition to get there isn't rushed, consider getting a morning time slot so kiddo is fresh, or pulling them from school all day or quite early. Tell kiddo it's ok to ask for breaks, and you, parent, can, too. And bring nourishing snacks.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:28 AM on June 3, 2024 [7 favorites]
"My advice would be to keep a close eye on your child's mood and energy level during the assessment. Advocate for a healthy environment."
This was the challenge with my youngest's assessment. The assessor, though, was patient and we ended up scheduling an extra assessment session to accommodate the pace required. Advocate for taking the time required, not for pushing to complete the session.
As others noted, bring snacks and drinks.
Edited to note: we told my youngest that she was going to be evaluated and they flipped out as they had also gone for a learning test the year before. Flashbacks! We told them that this was different, should be more casual, and to be themselves. For them, that meant to self-advocate (hard when young) and ask for breaks when needed.
posted by bacalao_y_betun at 8:56 AM on June 3, 2024
This was the challenge with my youngest's assessment. The assessor, though, was patient and we ended up scheduling an extra assessment session to accommodate the pace required. Advocate for taking the time required, not for pushing to complete the session.
As others noted, bring snacks and drinks.
Edited to note: we told my youngest that she was going to be evaluated and they flipped out as they had also gone for a learning test the year before. Flashbacks! We told them that this was different, should be more casual, and to be themselves. For them, that meant to self-advocate (hard when young) and ask for breaks when needed.
posted by bacalao_y_betun at 8:56 AM on June 3, 2024
"Everybody's different. That is what is so cool about being people. We're all different. We all have our own special thoughts, our own special ways of thinking and talking and hearing and seeing and doing everything. It's like magic. No one else in the whole world is exactly like me [and partner?] and no one else in the whole world is exactly like you. And no one loves you more than we love you, which is why we want you to have the best life in the world. Well, we know some people who know all about all the different kinds of people like you and me. They sometimes have super good ideas about how people like us can live our best and happiest lives. So that's why we're going to see them. They talk to us, they ask us questions, and they try to figure out what we're like. Then we see if they have any good advice for people like us, which we think is very nice of them, because we really want to know how to live our best and happiest lives together. And why do we want to live our best and happiest lives together? Because we love you more than anyone or anything else in the whole universe. Let's go see what we can find out about being us, about being the happiest you and me in the world."
posted by pracowity at 9:10 AM on June 3, 2024
posted by pracowity at 9:10 AM on June 3, 2024
Our evaluator recommended that we tell our 7-year-old that the assessment was to see just how he learned, so that grownups would know how to help and teach him best.
That explanation worked, although my kid had terrible separation anxiety when we arrived (hid under my chair for a good while) I was surprised that the person doing the assessment didn't have any great skills or strategies for putting him at ease before getting started. I don't know what I would have done differently -- but maybe it's useful to anticipate that as a possibility.
(In my son's case, we went for two days of tests, and he did eventually get comfortable. Perhaps it was even useful for the evaluator to see the anxious side of him...)
posted by wyzewoman at 5:01 PM on June 3, 2024 [1 favorite]
That explanation worked, although my kid had terrible separation anxiety when we arrived (hid under my chair for a good while) I was surprised that the person doing the assessment didn't have any great skills or strategies for putting him at ease before getting started. I don't know what I would have done differently -- but maybe it's useful to anticipate that as a possibility.
(In my son's case, we went for two days of tests, and he did eventually get comfortable. Perhaps it was even useful for the evaluator to see the anxious side of him...)
posted by wyzewoman at 5:01 PM on June 3, 2024 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you all so much for the advice!
Kiddo was happy with the simple explanation, the assessors were kind and thoughtful, and kiddo was able to advocate for breaks, so it was overall very positive.
posted by Hermione Dies at 1:23 PM on June 6, 2024 [1 favorite]
Kiddo was happy with the simple explanation, the assessors were kind and thoughtful, and kiddo was able to advocate for breaks, so it was overall very positive.
posted by Hermione Dies at 1:23 PM on June 6, 2024 [1 favorite]
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posted by Stacey at 6:37 AM on June 3, 2024