These questions have answers marked "best" by the asker.

October 22

Am I too incompatible with my white fiance?

I am a Nigerian woman engaged to a white guy of Swedish background. We live in Canada. We've been together for about five years and I love him very much. We've been arguing a lot lately, mainly because of what I perceive to be his pattern of insensitive and condescending behaviour towards me. Recently he was in one of his argumentative moods, and in response to me saying (facetiously) that I have a fantasy about killing slave masters, he told me that it's strange for me to identify with descendants of slaves, since my ancestors in Nigeria also sold slaves to Europeans. He said by talking as if I have suffered from the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, I am "appropriating someone else's tragedy". This deeply upset me, more than any of his other insensitive / arrogant comments have. He has also made other comments that suggest he is not sensitive enough to race issues to support me. He doesn't seem to understand how black people understand their identity or how racism works. I fear that we are going to have problems in our marriage because of this. How can I explain why the comment he made is so hurtful? Have any of you found yourselves in a situation like this, and stayed in your relationship? [more inside]
posted by Hummingbird1983 to Human Relations at 9:43 PM - 38 answers

My son ruins shoes. What are the most ruin-resistant high-tops for him?

My 8 year old son has some foot issues...his feet/ankles pronate inward. Between his OT and his podiatrist, we've been told to get him anti-pronation inserts and high top sneakers for ankle support. The inserts were easy to get...the high tops are not as simple. We're looking for recommendations! [more inside]
posted by christinetheslp to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 4:46 PM - 4 answers

Roof leak! Eek!

Two-three years ago, I had an oak branch plummet through my roof, like a spear thrown from Thor himself. Of course this was the year after my new roof had been installed, but I digress. I took a new shingle, and some of that black goo (can't remember the name) up there, and patched it up nicely.... [more inside]
posted by PlantGoddess to Home & Garden at 4:01 PM - 5 answers

Does your town schedule Trick or Treat?

I grew up in Ohio and trick or treat times would be scheduled and published in the newspaper. I'm in California now and can't seem to find scheduled trick or treat times for my town. Is it possible scheduling trick or treat is just an Ohio/Midwest thing? [more inside]
posted by shesbookish to Society & Culture at 11:56 AM - 51 answers

How to distract a hungry cat?

After fostering cats for a couple of years I decided to adopt the lovely Adelaide, rescued as a stray late last winter. She's been with me since February and recently I've had to own up to how she's putting on too much weight. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by zadcat to Pets & Animals at 11:51 AM - 17 answers

Should I let my mom use my name in a MLM business?

My mom has joined a MLM business that sells "health" products. They've got all sorts of wonderful claims and, of course, no science to back them up. My mom wants to add my name in as one of her distributors. She says she will do all the work, I'll get the money, and eventually a new car. She just needs my social security number and bank account. [more inside]
posted by blackzinfandel to Human Relations at 7:40 AM - 35 answers

Warm workout clothes?

I've recently started walking the trails near my house for exercise. As it starts getting colder, I've realized I need better clothes to wear. Must be available in petite, and have pockets (either in the sweater or pants is fine, I just need to carry my keys and phone.) Ideally, I would like some kind of zip-out lining, but I don't know if that's possible. Thanks!
posted by backwards compatible to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 6:21 AM - 15 answers

Advice for attending a Hillary rally?

My main question is- if I take a day off work and go all the way up to NH on Monday, what are the chances that I'll actually get into the Clinton/Warren rally? If anyone has been to a Clinton rally recently, how early do I have to line up for a good chance at getting in? If I bring my 6 year old will it be a miserable experience for both of us?
posted by banjo_and_the_pork to Travel & Transportation at 4:09 AM - 4 answers

October 21

Browncoats? (not the Whedon kind)

Many years of Anglophilic TV-watching have left me with a clothing question. What's the deal with the light brown, mid-length, indoor overcoat that certain British workers wear? [more inside]
posted by NumberSix to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:31 PM - 13 answers

radio tech nerds! your bat signal!

Hi. I have a question about the FCC assignment of radio frequencies in the early 20th c. U.S. I know three things that I can't resolve, probably because I have only dipped into this lightly (and really can't get stuck in right now). [more inside]
posted by listen, lady to Technology at 2:23 PM - 7 answers

I quit. Here is a gift.

Leaving my job. Love my boss. She is taking my leaving like a champ despite it putting her in a tough spot. Looking for help for a thank you/good bye gift. [more inside]
posted by teamnap to Human Relations at 1:03 PM - 11 answers

Is eating with utensils better than eating with your hand?

Objectively speaking, is it better to eat with utensils than hands? If so, why? [more inside]
posted by yawper to Science & Nature at 12:48 PM - 28 answers

Credit card chip fell off, what now?

So the chip on my credit card fell off somewhere, what can somebody do with it if they found it? [more inside]
posted by crashlanding to Work & Money at 12:35 PM - 5 answers

OK so site is down for just me: now what

Hellllllllp. The file sharing site I use for a job has been up and down all day, but now it's apparently "up", and I still can't access it. How can I get back in? I am on a SUPER URGENT HOLY SHIT deadline and this thing REALLY needs to get fixed. Like now. Things I have tried below the fold. [more inside]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese to Technology at 11:33 AM - 15 answers

Is this bullshit or am I nuts? Workplace edition.

I was hired a year and a half ago to a position that I very much like and work very hard at in an extremely niche field. Everything has gone swimmingly until this week. Looking for some extra outside insight into this situation. Anybody had this happen to them? Or something similar? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia to Work & Money at 11:25 AM - 16 answers

Prioritized changes in health behaviors with effect sizes. Exists?

I am looking for aggregated data/review articles on the estimated positive effects of lifestyle/diet changes based on research that could be used to prioritize such changes by their impact/effect sizes. [more inside]
posted by srboisvert to Health & Fitness at 7:10 AM - 3 answers

October 20

cross-eyed after eye exam... why?

I just had an eye exam. Took a picture because I thought my dialated eyes were amusing and I'm bored as I can't see anything .. I looked at the photo realized I'm currently cross-eyed. What's up? [more inside]
posted by chapps to Health & Fitness at 10:34 PM - 3 answers

Book or Oral History About Failed Marriages?

I'm doing some research for a story about a broken marriage, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a Studs-Terkel-esque oral history containing interviews with people about their deteriorating relationships or the lies they would tell themselves to keep a marriage together? Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
posted by Bobby Bittman to Human Relations at 2:34 PM - 5 answers

Short story about a composer publishing a piece by another composer?

Please assist me in re-finding this short story I read last year about a composer publishing his friend's unpublished symphony as his own, because his friend faked his death to escape from a crime. [more inside]
posted by Iron Carbide to Media & Arts at 12:00 PM - 3 answers

Best post-debate Nasty Woman T shirt?

Which Nasty Woman T shirt should I buy? [more inside]
posted by medusa to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:46 AM - 14 answers

The Great Apple Cake Off

Give me you best apple cake recipes! My boyfriend just got a job, we are going apple picking Saturday, and I want to make him a cake to celebrate. I plan to make this a round layer cake, with pipeable frosting for decoration, so recipes simple and fancy - send them my way! The only requirement is that they must be delicious and use apples.
posted by DoubleLune to Food & Drink at 10:46 AM - 13 answers

Barely remembered quote about talkative women and romantic relationships

Sometime in the past year or so I read, either online or in print, something relating to compatibility and fulfillment in (hetero) relationships where the woman is one who has a fast paced brain and needs to talk and needs to be with a man who will listen and take that all in order for her to feel fulfilled in the relationship. Did you read this, too? [more inside]
posted by PaulaSchultz to Human Relations at 10:16 AM - 6 answers

Where to put "virtual tables" in MVC?

Short version: Should ORMs only map to actual tables in the actual database, or is it useful to add classes that create "virtual tables" based on filtering the records? [more inside]
posted by lore to Computers & Internet at 9:41 AM - 2 answers

Songs that put you in the BEST MOOD POSSIBLE

Looking for songs that pick me up and make me want to live again after a long day of work! What are your favorites? [more inside]
posted by switcheroo to Media & Arts at 9:34 AM - 64 answers

anyone have experience with .law or other new-fangled TLDs?

I know the whole topic of acquiring a TLD can be fraught with interest; my question has more to do with what happens once you have it. I have a client interested in a .law domain. Has anyone run into problems with this TLD, either in dealing with registrars, DNS difficulties, or getting Microsoft hosted exchange or Google Apps working with it? [more inside]
posted by randomkeystrike to Computers & Internet at 8:44 AM - 4 answers

When might this Pet Shop Boys show end?

Friends have invited me to go see the Pet Shop Boys in Boston on November 9 at the Orpheum. I would love to go, but I am old and I have an early flight the next morning. The show begins at 7:30 and I can't find anything about an opening act. I haven't been to a show in maybe a decade - my memories are of everything starting late and ending later (enshrouded in cigarette smoke), but they're getting old, too, right? Has anyone seen them play lately? How likely am I to get home before midnight?
posted by chocotaco to Media & Arts at 8:31 AM - 8 answers

What is this small, fluffy, slightly fox-like dog?

The owner did not know, but they did give me permission to take a picture. [more inside]
posted by Cozybee to Pets & Animals at 8:14 AM - 11 answers

October 19

Reset android chrome external protocol handlers

How do I change Chrome's external protocol handlers on my phone? [more inside]
posted by anadem to Computers & Internet at 9:05 PM - 2 answers

Care and feeding of a garbage disposal

I am a chronic ruiner of kitchen sinks. What rules do people follow to avoid clogging or breaking their garbage disposal? [more inside]
posted by space snail to Home & Garden at 5:22 PM - 31 answers

Which NYC ice rink for figure skating?

Which NYC (Manhattan) ice rink, accessible from Chelsea Market, is best for figure skating practice? [more inside]
posted by serelliya to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 3:39 PM - 5 answers

Do I want a c-section?

Some complications have arisen as I reach the end of my pregnancy. I think I want to ask for a c-section. Will they let me do this? Is is a smart idea under the circumstances? [more inside]
posted by ficbot to Health & Fitness at 2:34 PM - 36 answers

Wiretap Podcast Archive... no iTunes, please!

Is the full archive of the Wiretap podcast available to download anywhere besides through iTunes? I want to be able to download/listen with Android phone, but all of my basic Googling points to iTunes. Can this be right? thank you.
posted by jimmereeno to Media & Arts at 9:49 AM - 4 answers

Durable, reliable 2-3 burner camp stove?

I am in the market for a 2-3 burner camp stove - do you have one you've used regularly for at least a few years? Looking for recommendations for one that's reliable and well-made.
posted by ryanshepard to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 8:57 AM - 14 answers

What's the scam? filter

I usually pride myself on knowing what the scam is, but this one has me stumped. It's on eBay, from a buyer named "wealth-enhancement-resources." I tried searching all the scam warning pages, but all of them assume that you have a valuable item like a phone or computer that they don't want to pay for. [more inside]
posted by Melismata to Computers & Internet at 8:43 AM - 16 answers

Introducing a short term dog foster (Advanced Beginner Dog)

Six months ago I adopted the wonderful Huggy and we have come to live very happily together. I am taking an unknown foster for the weekend, and would appreciate some advice about how to go about this in the best way. [more inside]
posted by frumiousb to Pets & Animals at 8:31 AM - 8 answers

Question for screen printers

Please give me the words with which to speak with a screen printer in order to get what I'm looking for. [more inside]
posted by Thorzdad to Media & Arts at 6:32 AM - 9 answers

Daily life in the USSR

What books give a sense of what daily life was like in the USSR? [more inside]
posted by StephenF to Society & Culture at 1:44 AM - 22 answers

October 18

Hairs Fibers and Lint.. Everywhere

It's getting cold. I need to stay warm. I hate hairs, fibers, and lint that shed from clothes. How do I avoid them? [more inside]
posted by Avosunspin to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:22 PM - 9 answers

Physical pain when those I feel uncomfortable with touch me

I'm wondering if this is something deeper. Like some sort of synesthesia. [more inside]
posted by cacao to Grab Bag at 9:33 PM - 8 answers

But wait, so maybe I'm NOT a garbage human being?

Need help/advice for resources for recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship with a whole mess of complications. I am the special-est of snowflakes. [more inside]
posted by FakePalindrome to Human Relations at 7:24 PM - 14 answers