These questions have answers marked "best" by the asker.
I am a Nigerian woman engaged to a white guy of Swedish background. We live in Canada. We've been together for about five years and I love him very much. We've been arguing a lot lately, mainly because of what I perceive to be his pattern of insensitive and condescending behaviour towards me. Recently he was in one of his argumentative moods, and in response to me saying (facetiously) that I have a fantasy about killing slave masters, he told me that it's strange for me to identify with descendants of slaves, since my ancestors in Nigeria also sold slaves to Europeans. He said by talking as if I have suffered from the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, I am "appropriating someone else's tragedy". This deeply upset me, more than any of his other insensitive / arrogant comments have. He has also made other comments that suggest he is not sensitive enough to race issues to support me. He doesn't seem to understand how black people understand their identity or how racism works. I fear that we are going to have problems in our marriage because of this. How can I explain why the comment he made is so hurtful? Have any of you found yourselves in a situation like this, and stayed in your relationship? [more inside]
My 8 year old son has some foot issues...his feet/ankles pronate inward. Between his OT and his podiatrist, we've been told to get him anti-pronation inserts and high top sneakers for ankle support. The inserts were easy to get...the high tops are not as simple. We're looking for recommendations! [more inside]
Two-three years ago, I had an oak branch plummet through my roof, like a spear thrown from Thor himself. Of course this was the year after my new roof had been installed, but I digress. I took a new shingle, and some of that black goo (can't remember the name) up there, and patched it up nicely.... [more inside]
I grew up in Ohio and trick or treat times would be scheduled and published in the newspaper. I'm in California now and can't seem to find scheduled trick or treat times for my town. Is it possible scheduling trick or treat is just an Ohio/Midwest thing? [more inside]
After fostering cats for a couple of years I decided to adopt the lovely Adelaide, rescued as a stray late last winter. She's been with me since February and recently I've had to own up to how she's putting on too much weight. More details inside. [more inside]
My mom has joined a MLM business that sells "health" products. They've got all sorts of wonderful claims and, of course, no science to back them up. My mom wants to add my name in as one of her distributors. She says she will do all the work, I'll get the money, and eventually a new car. She just needs my social security number and bank account. [more inside]
I've recently started walking the trails near my house for exercise. As it starts getting colder, I've realized I need better clothes to wear. Must be available in petite, and have pockets (either in the sweater or pants is fine, I just need to carry my keys and phone.) Ideally, I would like some kind of zip-out lining, but I don't know if that's possible. Thanks!
My main question is- if I take a day off work and go all the way up to NH on Monday, what are the chances that I'll actually get into the Clinton/Warren rally? If anyone has been to a Clinton rally recently, how early do I have to line up for a good chance at getting in? If I bring my 6 year old will it be a miserable experience for both of us?
Many years of Anglophilic TV-watching have left me with a clothing question. What's the deal with the light brown, mid-length, indoor overcoat that certain British workers wear? [more inside]
Hi. I have a question about the FCC assignment of radio frequencies in the early 20th c. U.S. I know three things that I can't resolve, probably because I have only dipped into this lightly (and really can't get stuck in right now). [more inside]
Leaving my job. Love my boss. She is taking my leaving like a champ despite it putting her in a tough spot. Looking for help for a thank you/good bye gift. [more inside]
Objectively speaking, is it better to eat with utensils than hands? If so, why? [more inside]
So the chip on my credit card fell off somewhere, what can somebody do with it if they found it? [more inside]
Hellllllllp. The file sharing site I use for a job has been up and down all day, but now it's apparently "up", and I still can't access it. How can I get back in? I am on a SUPER URGENT HOLY SHIT deadline and this thing REALLY needs to get fixed. Like now. Things I have tried below the fold. [more inside]
I was hired a year and a half ago to a position that I very much like and work very hard at in an extremely niche field. Everything has gone swimmingly until this week. Looking for some extra outside insight into this situation. Anybody had this happen to them? Or something similar? [more inside]
I am looking for aggregated data/review articles on the estimated positive effects of lifestyle/diet changes based on research that could be used to prioritize such changes by their impact/effect sizes. [more inside]
I just had an eye exam. Took a picture because I thought my dialated eyes were amusing and I'm bored as I can't see anything .. I looked at the photo realized I'm currently cross-eyed. What's up? [more inside]
I'm doing some research for a story about a broken marriage, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a Studs-Terkel-esque oral history containing interviews with people about their deteriorating relationships or the lies they would tell themselves to keep a marriage together? Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
Please assist me in re-finding this short story I read last year about a composer publishing his friend's unpublished symphony as his own, because his friend faked his death to escape from a crime. [more inside]
Which Nasty Woman T shirt should I buy? [more inside]
Give me you best apple cake recipes! My boyfriend just got a job, we are going apple picking Saturday, and I want to make him a cake to celebrate. I plan to make this a round layer cake, with pipeable frosting for decoration, so recipes simple and fancy - send them my way! The only requirement is that they must be delicious and use apples.
Sometime in the past year or so I read, either online or in print, something relating to compatibility and fulfillment in (hetero) relationships where the woman is one who has a fast paced brain and needs to talk and needs to be with a man who will listen and take that all in order for her to feel fulfilled in the relationship. Did you read this, too? [more inside]
Short version: Should ORMs only map to actual tables in the actual database, or is it useful to add classes that create "virtual tables" based on filtering the records? [more inside]
Looking for songs that pick me up and make me want to live again after a long day of work! What are your favorites? [more inside]
I know the whole topic of acquiring a TLD can be fraught with interest; my question has more to do with what happens once you have it. I have a client interested in a .law domain. Has anyone run into problems with this TLD, either in dealing with registrars, DNS difficulties, or getting Microsoft hosted exchange or Google Apps working with it? [more inside]
Friends have invited me to go see the Pet Shop Boys in Boston on November 9 at the Orpheum. I would love to go, but I am old and I have an early flight the next morning. The show begins at 7:30 and I can't find anything about an opening act. I haven't been to a show in maybe a decade - my memories are of everything starting late and ending later (enshrouded in cigarette smoke), but they're getting old, too, right? Has anyone seen them play lately? How likely am I to get home before midnight?
How do I change Chrome's external protocol handlers on my phone? [more inside]
I am a chronic ruiner of kitchen sinks. What rules do people follow to avoid clogging or breaking their garbage disposal? [more inside]
Which NYC (Manhattan) ice rink, accessible from Chelsea Market, is best for figure skating practice? [more inside]
Some complications have arisen as I reach the end of my pregnancy. I think I want to ask for a c-section. Will they let me do this? Is is a smart idea under the circumstances? [more inside]
Is the full archive of the Wiretap podcast available to download anywhere besides through iTunes? I want to be able to download/listen with Android phone, but all of my basic Googling points to iTunes. Can this be right? thank you.
I am in the market for a 2-3 burner camp stove - do you have one you've used regularly for at least a few years? Looking for recommendations for one that's reliable and well-made.
I usually pride myself on knowing what the scam is, but this one has me stumped. It's on eBay, from a buyer named "wealth-enhancement-resources." I tried searching all the scam warning pages, but all of them assume that you have a valuable item like a phone or computer that they don't want to pay for. [more inside]
Six months ago I adopted the wonderful Huggy and we have come to live very happily together. I am taking an unknown foster for the weekend, and would appreciate some advice about how to go about this in the best way. [more inside]
Please give me the words with which to speak with a screen printer in order to get what I'm looking for. [more inside]
What books give a sense of what daily life was like in the USSR? [more inside]
It's getting cold. I need to stay warm. I hate hairs, fibers, and lint that shed from clothes. How do I avoid them? [more inside]
I'm wondering if this is something deeper. Like some sort of synesthesia. [more inside]
Need help/advice for resources for recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship with a whole mess of complications. I am the special-est of snowflakes. [more inside]