Questions in the Human Relations category.
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January 21

Don't shoot the messenger. Anger or frustration not directed at you.

As a project manager, I frequently have to deliver news of things being late. Understandably people get upset. I've been upset in similar scenarios. What are some good ways to handle these situations? "life pro tips" if you will, for both being sympathetic and not taking things personally?
posted by aeighty at 11:11 AM - 7 answers

Opting out of Adult Birthday Gifts

Partially inspired by this question, I'm looking for advice/guidance/permission on opting out of birthday gift giving for adult family members. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:32 AM - 14 answers

was this acceptable hostel behaviour?

this is a slightly ridiculous but honestly to me upsetting hostel situation. i booked into a hostel for one night and arrived at 8pm, a mixed dorm. i'm a woman, and the the woman in the bed next to mine spent the entire hour i was there loudly masturbating. [more inside]
posted by mosswinter at 3:44 AM - 16 answers

January 20

Invisible Birthdays

So my partner forgot it was my birthday. Like, literally forgot. I really don't tend to make a big deal of birthdays, for Reasons To Be Boringly Explained Below, and I knew that we had nothing planned for today, but this has happened before (with this partner and with others) and I know it will probably happen again (with this partner, who is a Permanent Partner, and who is extremely not good at remembering birthdays). I'm not on social media, and a recent move means I don't have a lot of close in-person friends right now, so I don't really have anyone else who will be taking up the slack and remembering my birthday. Part of me wishes I didn't care so much. Part of me actually really doesn't care that much. But part of me does care. What do I do with my feels here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:47 PM - 30 answers

How to tell radiologist/parent I'm pregnant

My parent is a radiologist. I want to tell him that I'm pregnant by getting a sonogram done in his office without telling him details beforehand. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:47 PM - 5 answers

And don't you like me for me?

How do you figure out if you like somebody before trying to get them to love you? [more inside]
posted by Sock Meets Body at 6:03 PM - 5 answers

Should I ask for another shot? Or were we actually terribly mismatched?

I've had a really rough couple of years, and spent 2016-2018 recovering from a confluence of events that entailed a layoff, a hostile roommate situation and a breakup, followed up by a plus-yearlong spell of unemployment, depression and what I now realize was an abusive relationship. And for about six weeks or so in the very last bit of 2018, I was incandescently happy with someone who broke up with me the day before New Years. I hope we broke up due to circumstances and not because we were fundamentally mismatched -- but I don't trust my own judgement because I'm carrying around a lot of relationship baggage. Should I ask him to try again? [more inside]
posted by blue rare at 4:04 PM - 15 answers

January 19

cross-cultural emoji communication

which emoji mean something very different from US english in other languages/countries? [more inside]
posted by Cozybee at 10:05 AM - 8 answers

Help me pre-plan for a challenging family visit

Our parents are travelling from Australia to London to see their new grandchild. in a few months. Complication: they're elderly, increasingly technophobic, and historically very high maintenance during visits. Further complication: I asked them to book travel just three weeks after my due date (major rookie mistake), so there's every chance I'll have given birth just days before they arrive. Help us head off major problems at the pass. [more inside]
posted by nerdfish at 5:33 AM - 28 answers

January 18

Resources for helping a friend recognize the DV danger she's in?

A pregnant friend is being threatened by her former/partner in an escalating manner. I think she is in denial of the danger of the situation - what resources are available to her and what resources are available to me? I am in San Francisco. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:42 PM - 13 answers

What are the limits of free speech within a friendship?

I have an old friend; I'll call her Chores. (Important background: she spent some of her working life in Window Display for department stores, so she is home-dec oriented.) She collects and is surrounded by decorative pillows, and other cluttery decorational artifacts. As a semi-minimalist, that's not my thing. [more inside]
posted by BostonTerrier at 7:53 AM - 72 answers

Engineer Edition: Improving Personal Relationship Skills

I am a male introverted, quiet, engineer type who would like to to improve sharing my feelings, being less reserved, and giving words of affection & physical touch with my partner. What are some cute tips that my partner can do to support me in this, or that I can do to improve? [more inside]
posted by Mr. Papagiorgio at 7:33 AM - 15 answers

Just dropped from birthday party invitation... am I chopped liver?

An acquaintance whom I occasionally hang out with invited me to their birthday. They had a lunch planned, after which we were supposed to head back to their place for an evening of movies and a home dinner. I replied the next day that I could only make it to lunch, and I was simply given a reply that they're no longer doing lunch, and also sent over the list of people who were going and that their place was maxed out for the evening. And that was it. [more inside]
posted by TrinsicWS at 2:37 AM - 19 answers

January 17

My teenager just came out as transgender.

Me teenager, with no previous signs or warnings, just sent me and my spouse a long text coming out as transgender. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:14 PM - 40 answers

January 15

A post-breakup text fight, for when things aren’t quite bad enough

So I did two reaaaaaaally stupid things: 1) got back with a terrible ex, and 2) after re-breaking up with him, failed the breakup dignity test. Hard. Help me get my recovery back on track and stop beating myself up. [more inside]
posted by wreckofthehesperus at 3:00 AM - 26 answers

January 14

My boss thinks I need more self confidence

We had a one on one catch up and my boss let me know he thinks i need more self confidence. I did not say it to his face (was rather surprised and a bit upset) but I disagree. I used to get this comment a lot when I was younger but no one has said it in ages. [more inside]
posted by EatMyHat at 4:47 PM - 22 answers

Affordable weddings in New England or New York/New Jersey

I'm engaged, I love my partner, and I'm not very into weddings. They just seem expensive and stressful. Can you tell me about your fun, affordable 100-person wedding? (Nontraditional weddings are a-OK.) Bonus points If you can recommend affordable venues in New England or New York/New Jersey other than my parents' backyard.
posted by marfa, texas at 1:34 PM - 27 answers

I'm in a moral quandary about my responsibility to my aging parents.

What do I owe my aging co-dependent parents? [more inside]
posted by TryTheTilapia at 8:56 AM - 23 answers

Get engaged or break up?

I’ve been dating an amazing man and I don’t know what to do. He wants to get married. I’m not sure. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:42 AM - 30 answers

January 12

I'm apparently even less straight than I thought. Now what?

I'm a cis female in my early 30s living in the Boston area. I've known I'm queer for well over a decade, identifying as aro-ace. A throwaway comment on New Year's Eve made me realize a series of interactions 2 years ago was a very deep, very intense crush on another woman and I just was in deep denial. Re-evaluation of other events has led me to realize I'm actually interested in women romantically. While this is very thrilling, it is also terrifying because I am introverted enough that I have enough trouble trying to figure out how to meet new people to make friends. I know I want to, but I have no idea what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:14 PM - 5 answers

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