Questions in the Human Relations category.
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March 4

Is it reasonable to ask a serious string player to use a mute?

The teenage daughter in the apartment below ours practices cello 14 hours a day, every day. 7am to 9pm, 7 days a week. Needless to say, this drives us round the bend. She has turned her nose up at other measures to make changes to her practice that would improve our lives. Is it unrealistic to expect her to use a mute? [more inside]
posted by cincinnatus c at 10:03 AM - 75 answers

Friend or Foe?

Coworker drama: Are these comments aggressive? [more inside]
posted by loveandhappiness at 7:07 AM - 28 answers

March 2

Always picked last at work; am I crazy for worrying about this?

Every month, my team at work has our all-team meeting (we all work remotely). At the start of the meeting, we do a "Red, Yellow, Green" status where everyone says how they're feeling coming into the meeting (e,g. "red" means you're not feeling great, and "green" means you're swell). After you give your update, you pick someone else. For the past FIVE meetings, I've been picked last. It feels like being the last one picked for a sports team in the schoolyard. [more inside]
posted by starpoint at 7:21 PM - 35 answers

Disability - 'it’s not really noticeable'/'I couldn't tell!'

I am disabled because of having a stroke. I didn't think the effects would be permanent but they are. I have aphasia and fatigue as the main things. I am so sick of other people saying things like 'I didn't notice much' or 'I can't really tell' when it comes to the aphasia and brain fog and all that stuff. [more inside]
posted by peepofgold at 12:52 PM - 12 answers

March 1

Covid-friendly first date ideas

What have folks been doing for COVID-safe initial in-person dates? [more inside]
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 5:23 PM - 12 answers

I have become my mother, episode 45

One of the grade school kids I sometimes read to in my new country of residence has started to remark on my physical imperfections. I actually find this funny in an ironic sort of way, because I did the same thing to my mom when I was little. But in the year of our Bog 2021, this doesn't seem like something I should be allowing to let slide. Help this non-mom negotiate what could be a teaching moment. [more inside]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 10:13 AM - 10 answers

February 28

Regaining normalcy post pandemic?

My partner, child, and I been strictly social distancing, working remotely and seeing literally nobody except for a few distanced walks with friends in the summer since the pandemic began. Nothing in life interests me anymore. Once this is over, how do I get my love of living back? [more inside]
posted by redlines at 11:00 PM - 19 answers

Worth it relocating to be closer to relatives?

Considering moving to be closer to older relatives. What are the pluses and minuses to keep in mind? [more inside]
posted by allthethings at 2:42 PM - 12 answers

Sapiosexual beyond all reason

Trying to understand why I am attracted to very unsuitable people and what to do about it. Please don't roast me, I'm looking for real advice while also seeing the humor in the situation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:56 AM - 33 answers

February 27

Friend Telling me to Get Over being around the Person my Ex Cheated with

Need advice on whether I am the asshole here: TL;DR: A friend slept with my boyfriend on a group trip I was also on, other best friends who were on trip now inviting her and I to events, I feel awkward and sad AF. Am I unreasonable? [more inside]
posted by Donna_Martin_Graduates at 12:02 AM - 53 answers

February 26

Studies about different perceptions of the same facts

I have read more than once about a study of the perception of media bias in the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. In the study, the same media clips were shown to Israelis and Palestinians. Israelis thought the clips were biased in favor of the Palestinians. Palestinians thought those same clips were biased in favor of Israelis. Can you help me find discussions of this study and other related studies? [more inside]
posted by alms at 7:37 AM - 3 answers

Unwitting participant in a sort of menage a quatre

My friend (F) and I just figured out that another friend (M) was secretly sleeping with both of us AND his now-partner all at the same time. We are hurt and reeling. How do we get past this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:06 AM - 22 answers

February 25

Fuming because a friend ghosted me. Again. How to cope?

William (I had an AskMe about him in December) is at it again. More under the fold. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude at 6:57 PM - 27 answers

Creepy situation: how to nip it in the bud before it can escalate

How do I discourage someone who gives me a creepy vibe and prevent the situation from escalating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:41 AM - 12 answers

February 24

How to deal with life

I am very depressed. I can't get over how selfish my parents were to make me deal with this shit. I hate every day and drink every night to deal with it, which ultimately makes everything worse. How did I end up with a problem that wasn't my doing and I'm not allowed to opt out of? [more inside]
posted by uninformative at 10:47 PM - 18 answers

How to build up a social circle from... zero

I'm in my early 30s and, embarrassingly, don't have a lot of friends. I don't have much family, either. Over the past few months, I've really thought a lot about my life and what I need to change. I really need to put the effort in to create strong social bonds with people and make new (hopefully long lasting friends), but... I don't know where to begin. Has anyone done this from scratch? [more inside]
posted by VirginiaPlain at 4:41 PM - 32 answers

Lawyer or advocate for someone who is being extorted/blackmailed

An acquaintance of mine, let's call him Kyle, has someone who is semi-publicly accusing him of sexual assault (no idea if it's valid or not), and more problematically has tried to extort him for several thousand dollars. Kyle says he has attempted to talk to the person and even start a restorative justice process without much success. This is a person he dated for about 2 years. The question is how hard to push back and in what ways, especially if Kyle decides to run for a highly visible public office in the future. [more inside]
posted by Questolicious at 1:09 PM - 17 answers

Help my friend understand assisted living care, in Poland, for his mom

One of my work friends is heading to Poland, this weekend, to try to find a facility that can care for his mother. She just had a brain tumor removed and, currently, the prognosis is grey. Whether she can regain speech or motor skills remain to be seen. He is unsure of many elements regarding how this works but moreover, how this will work in Poland. [more inside]
posted by zerobyproxy at 11:01 AM - 2 answers

Boyfriend giving mixed signals?

I've been dating my boyfriend for five months. It's been lovely, and I've felt very secure in his feelings and close to him. But the past month has felt very disconnected due to external pressures and a ridiculous amount of stuff going wrong, and he seems to be backtracking on things he has said. I'm now feel like the rug has been pulled from beneath my feet and wondering what to do about it. [more inside]
posted by flimflamflop at 5:24 AM - 41 answers

February 22

What to do about Yelling Guy

Who can I safely reach out to to make contact with Angry Yelling Guy in my NYC neighborhood? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:02 PM - 19 answers

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