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I work part-time as a cashier and lifeguard at a swimming pool. When I was cashiering last week, a woman in her 60's came to me to complain that while she was water walking, she was getting splashed due to the ardent lap swimming of the person in the lane next to her. [more inside]
posted by SageTrail at 7:57 AM - 33 answers

My MIL is a textbook narcissistic abuser and after her last verbal attack, the hubby and I decided we don't want her in our lives anymore. Fast forward to this morning, where the MIL's friend decided to take exception and say the wrong thing. It's gotten under my skin and I'm about to explode saying something, but I know it probably wouldn't be wise. [more inside]
posted by chatelaine at 1:19 PM - 40 answers

Hello mefites. I need help understanding why I am not ok being the breadwinner when my salary definitely supports it. I am in a helping people profession that happens to have a very high salary (think doctor, but I am not a doctor). My spouse has a PhD in humanities and teaches two or three classes per term as an adjunct. His pay is abysmal, like $12 an hour when you account for all the grading, student meetings, etc. He probably works 25-30 hours per week, plus commute. We were in these professions when we met and fell in love, late 30s. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:02 AM - 68 answers

How do I engage with them while they are going through this? And do I mention anything to anyone else about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:00 AM - 9 answers

My employer has a periodic off-site for executives and investors. Many of them seem to be "performing status" by wearing the latest trends & Rolexes, and talking about the Hamptons and Europe travel. I listen and also talk about my own hobbies, which works fine for conversation with all my colleagues except one guy. He gets visibly offended. How can I make smalltalk with him without leading to friction? [more inside]
posted by cheesecake at 6:37 AM - 38 answers

After an extended period of burnout, my boyfriend just started a new job that he loves. Turns out, what was described as "some travel to begin with" has turned into him flying overseas Mon-Fri, every week for an unknown period of time. It could be two months or it could be a year. I feel a bit blindsided by this, please help me figure out how to cope. [more inside]
posted by guessthis at 4:56 AM - 16 answers

A relative has willed her estate to only me. I have siblings, and am trying to figure out whether and how to share the money with them. Can you help me think through this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:28 AM - 40 answers

Wondering how to prevent someone else's from becoming yours when you're taking care of ALL of their stuff (out of necessity). [more inside]
posted by Eyelash at 5:27 PM - 8 answers

My spouse, AMAB, has been figuring out their gender and sexuality for a while. They recently told me that they wanted to switch to they/them pronouns, which I am supportive of! I was a little surprised, but not shocked, and I am happy for them that they are feeling comfortable figuring things out! What's surprising my is my reaction to it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:17 PM - 14 answers

If you saw someone wearing a pendant similar to this, would you assume they were religious? (This is not the item in question, but the shape of the bird is the same.)
posted by HotToddy at 8:44 AM - 69 answers

My wife and I recently moved to a new area, and my wife made friends with a co-worker (A). We started hanging out with A and her wife (B) and were initially excited to have met another 30s lesbian couple in our new neighborhood. I noticed that sometimes B would say things about her wife, A, that I would not say about my wife and that I would not be okay with my wife saying about me. She would comment on what A chose to eat, she dissed her more than she complimented her, and didn't seem that fond of A, but I thought it might just be their schtick. [more inside]
posted by spacebologna at 11:58 AM - 17 answers

Feeling helpless as I watch my loved ones feel helpless. I want to respect autonomy but I also am really unsure if this is a moment to step in and push them to get help. CW for mental health and substance issues. [more inside]
posted by buttonedup at 11:39 AM - 9 answers

I had a dinner date with a friend of mine tonight. As I thought he was a good friend, I felt comfortable opening up with him about getting sick on Sunday/Monday (by the way, fully recovered now, just not 100% yet purely from exhaustion/treatment side effects only). He expressed concern about getting sick, but continued to talk about it. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and it was hard keeping my composure. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude at 4:14 PM - 23 answers

I have two queries, the first a low stakes question about a low stakes situation, whether or not to cancel a first date. Second, what’s your assessment of my personal barometer; are you seeing the yellow flags I’m seeing? [more inside]
posted by shocks connery at 12:01 PM - 42 answers

I'm trying to understand how someone who got a Bachelor's degree in Economics in the 1980s would understand, well, the economy. [more inside]
posted by Audreynachrome at 7:53 AM - 30 answers

[TW: weight and body issues] I'm a 40-year-old "ethnic" obese woman living in NYC, single for ~7 years, and have started to date online this year. I'm struggling to meet suitable men despite being very successful in other areas of life and having very flexible criteria (swiping on other heavy people much larger than I am, short men, etc. from all walks of life). Those I have met have been unsuitable or inconsiderate to frankly awful and abusive people, many of whom have made a point of commenting on my fatness, mentioning that I'm not their "type" and other code for lack of attraction to my body. I'm wondering whether I should continue to subject myself to this or wait to jump back in once I've lost the weight? [more inside]
posted by shaademaan at 12:13 AM - 24 answers

Kidlet has been seeing her weekly for about a year for depression, anxiety and basically how to be neurodiverse in a confusing world. Kidlet is a precocious 12 year old with adhd & autism, cynical humor and high involvement in fandom (supervised). Significant progress in first months but Kidlet now wants to change therapists as therapist does not agree with her. I like therapist, think she has good insight, also value Kidlet learning to manage conflict with different values (not homophobic etc, more movies and books, and Kidlet hates conflict). I changed kid therapists before, but not at this late stage or this reason. What’s a good way to figure out if we should change?
posted by anonymous at 5:09 AM - 15 answers

You all are generally fantastic at questions involving boundaries w toxic family, going no-contact, etc. so have a go at mine. My manipulative, abusive sister (who is a minister) is using her possible cancer to triangulate and create drama, even telling my mom she can't give any health updates unless I unblock sister and stop being no-contact with her. Things are escalating and today my mom refused to respect an explicit boundary. I'm still looking for strategies for dealing with this, so thanks for any you have. [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe at 2:55 PM - 15 answers

I am really enjoying babysitting my nephews (2 and 4) once a week. I have been amazed to see them grow over the past six months. I'm fascinated by childhood development, skill development, and how to have fun at the level the kids are at. Are there any books that show a skill-development tree, with games that would be fun at that level, and games that help develop skills? [more inside]
posted by rebent at 11:37 AM - 11 answers

I want to be a good parent to my 10th-grader, but I'm not sure how best to support him through the next couple of years. He is really different from how I was as a teen and I'm increasingly unsure whether I'm worrying too much or not enough about some of those differences. I'm hoping to crowdsource ideas/additional perspectives that could help me better direct my parental energies, especially from any MeFites out there who see a bit of their past selves in him. [more inside]
posted by ElizaMain at 11:14 AM - 30 answers