Interesting questions for speed dating!

July 18, 2024 2:59 PM

I'm going speed dating next week and am looking for some fun but not too outlandish but interesting questions and openers to ask.

I went to two speed dating events several years ago and I think I asked things like, "What's your favorite flavor of jam?", "Do you believe in aliens?," "Is cereal a soup?," "are hot dogs sandwiches?" and things like that. I'm looking for things of that ilk, but maybe a bit more mature? And less food oriented! lol.

I'm nerdy and not afraid to let that show. In a magical ideal world conversation would flow naturally without any need for pre-planned questions, but I want to have some ideas in my (metaphorical) pocket in case we're floundering.

I'm 36F, if it matters! And will be hella anxious but doing my best to mask it, lol.

And if you have a strong case why straight forward questions about jobs, favorite tv shows, books, or movies, etc. are a good idea, or any other advice, I'll happily take it! I'm very much an inexperienced dater and can use all of the help and advise I can get.

Thanks, mefites!

posted by firei to Human Relations (20 answers total)

I never liked interview-like questions, it really didn’t set the stage for me, so I’d ask in the moment questions… so how’s the night been so far ? How’s your week been? Chat like it’s a friend you’re catching up with. Have you seen X movie yet? Hey that’s a nice shirt where did you get it? (Get them to tell you the story). Any vacation plans this summer? Stuff like that
posted by St. Peepsburg at 3:10 PM on July 18 [9 favorites]

"Tell me about your first concert. Like, where was it, who do you go with, anything interesting happen?"

It might be just an interesting story and you can learn a lot from how people tell stories. If you actually click musically, then it's a massive ice breaker.
posted by JoeZydeco at 3:14 PM on July 18 [3 favorites]

I am giving you my personal icebreaker question. Use it well.

You're in a horror movie situation and the bad guy corners you in an average but well-outfitted shed. Which improvised melee weapon are you choosing?

posted by phunniemee at 3:15 PM on July 18 [8 favorites]

Here's mine: Which do you prefer? Splinter as human martial artist who was mutated into a rat man? Or Splinter as a rat that learned martial arts and was mutated into a man rat? Please explain why your choice is the narratively superior one.
posted by Rudy_Wiser at 3:45 PM on July 18 [7 favorites]

or maybe: favorite teenage mutant ninja turtle/renaissance artist [creativeyatra]? & why?
posted by HearHere at 3:51 PM on July 18

Chuck Klosterman's 23 Questions I Ask Everybody I Meet In Order To Decide If I Can Really Love Them

Some are weird, but a good blend of interesting conversation starters.
posted by Hatashran at 4:29 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]

We often use "what's your favorite board game" as an icebreaker in interviews. It actually tells you quite a lot about a person.

"Who is your favorite muppet?" is another one.
posted by anastasiav at 5:10 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]

Rookie level: "What's a recent concert you enjoyed?" (Sample answer: I saw Soul Coughing.) Followup: "If I stole somebody else's wave to fly up" and point at them, nodding and waiting for the next line of the song.

Expert level: don't even ask. Just start with "How does a bastard, immigrant, son of a whore and a Scotsman" and spend the remaining time trading lines.

You may, of course, never be invited back.
posted by mistersix at 5:19 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]

The couple times I did speed dating I got a lot of mileage just asking how/why they decided to come to the event and if they'd ever been to one before. The other one I asked was something like, "tell me about the last time you had a really exciting/great/ideal day."
posted by mullacc at 6:18 PM on July 18 [3 favorites]

“What are you passionate about? What will get you out of bed at 4AM on a Saturday because it’s just that worthwhile?”
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:38 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]

What is your favorite guilty pleasure TV/podcast/book genre?
What is something new you want to try/experience in the next three month?
posted by brookeb at 6:57 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]

I like the question "What's something that you learned later in life than most other people?" Answers can range from the lighthearted (how to correctly pronounce a certain word) to the insightful (how to forgive).
posted by mezzanayne at 6:58 PM on July 18 [3 favorites]

Are there any skills that were really hard for you to learn?
Is there any aspect of yourself that you're working on changing?
Who's your favourite person to travel with, and why?
Who was the first character you really related to in a movie/show/book?
I have a theory that everyone has a good story about being scared by a bug or vermin of some type. Do you?
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:07 PM on July 18 [1 favorite]

You can only eat one type of cheese for the rest of your life. What cheese is it, and why?
posted by punchtothehead at 7:28 PM on July 18 [2 favorites]

If you got to unexpectedly take next week off with full pay, what would you do?

Tell me about a place you love.

What's the best question someone's asked tonight? And the worst?
posted by advicepig at 6:58 AM on July 19 [1 favorite]

Regarding whether to go for straightforward factual questions or making conversation about random things: at some points in my life, a potential date's life circumstances (location, other important relationships, hobbies, etc.) would make a big difference to me because of how I wanted to fit them into my life. At other times they didn't, because I was open to a lot of possibilities and was not necessarily looking for someone I was going to spend most of my time with. So sometimes basic screening questions would be a useful time saver; sometimes it was more important to ascertain straight up chemistry. You can decide which matters most to you right now!
posted by metasarah at 7:36 AM on July 19 [1 favorite]

"Who is your favorite muppet?" is another one.

This was exactly the question I was thinking of, but then I realized (thanks to a recent AskMefi question) that this might not work well with anyone younger than Gen X. Or are the Muppets well known for younger people due to the movies, etc.?

I'm nerdy and not afraid to let that show.

I think it's important to let it show - and to find people who are similarly mildly weird and curious (if that's what you mean by nerdy - it's what I usually mean).

Maybe ask if they have a topic that they've been excited about recently? What do they like to learn about that's not related to their work?
posted by jb at 8:16 AM on July 19 [1 favorite]

What are you reading right now?
If you could live anywhere where would you live?
Star Trek or Star Wars?
posted by tafetta, darling! at 8:59 AM on July 19

I have always heard that you should get them to talk about themselves.

Which is why I use, "What the hell is wrong with you?" as my opener.

JK.

I think asking them if they volunteer regularly. And if they do, what made them decide to volunteer at that place, and what do they like about it; is a good conversation starter.
posted by indianbadger1 at 1:39 PM on July 19

How many five year olds could you kill before they kill you?

Prince or Michael Jackson?

Taylor Swift or Beyonce?

Beer or wine? Dogs or cats? Fiction or nonfiction?

What's the largest animal you could kill with your bare hands?

What are your three favorite movies?

Have you ever masturbated and cried at the same time?

What were you doing on the best day of your life?

If you could go back to school with no concerns about money, what would you study?
posted by janey47 at 12:48 AM on July 20