October 23

Bitten by bedbugs at hotel

Help me deal without panicking [more inside]
posted by aperturescientist to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 7:33 AM - 4 answers

How would I know if my webcam had been infected by malware?

The news stories on Friday's attack on Dyn noted that devices from the "internet of things" has been infected by malware which was conscripting them to send requests to the DNS. Is there anyway I could know if devices which I own were infected? If they were is there anything I could do about it?
posted by gteffertz to Computers & Internet at 6:59 AM - 4 answers

Frame me

I'm trying rather desperately to find some new eyeglass frames that are very similar in shape to a pair purchased years ago. I don't even know if there's a name for the shape I'm searching for; it seems fairly uncommon. Please see this photo of my old frames. New frames can be just about any material, and I strongly prefer to buy online at a shop that offers high index lenses. Anyone seen some glasses this shape? Thanks for any info you can provide!
posted by vers to Shopping at 4:32 AM - 4 answers

October 22

Loan or gift?

Someone we met earlier this year needs help. He has asked for a loan but we can easily afford to give the money to him. We're not sure whether it's better to lend it to him or just make it a gift. [more inside]
posted by Skaffen-Amtiskaw to Human Relations at 9:57 PM - 13 answers

Am I too incompatible with my white fiance?

I am a Nigerian woman engaged to a white guy of Swedish background. We live in Canada. We've been together for about five years and I love him very much. We've been arguing a lot lately, mainly because of what I perceive to be his pattern of insensitive and condescending behaviour towards me. Recently he was in one of his argumentative moods, and in response to me saying (facetiously) that I have a fantasy about killing slave masters, he told me that it's strange for me to identify with descendants of slaves, since my ancestors in Nigeria also sold slaves to Europeans. He said by talking as if I have suffered from the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, I am "appropriating someone else's tragedy". This deeply upset me, more than any of his other insensitive / arrogant comments have. He has also made other comments that suggest he is not sensitive enough to race issues to support me. He doesn't seem to understand how black people understand their identity or how racism works. I fear that we are going to have problems in our marriage because of this. How can I explain why the comment he made is so hurtful? Have any of you found yourselves in a situation like this, and stayed in your relationship? [more inside]
posted by Hummingbird1983 to Human Relations at 9:43 PM - 47 answers

Stressing out about cooking mini-Thanksgiving tomorrow

I'm cooking a mini-Thanksgiving for six people tomorrow, occasioned by my birthday (yesterday) and realizing that I had a turkey in the freezer from last year. Turkey is now in the fridge, thawed. But I haven't cooked a turkey or mashed potatoes in a few years, and I haven't cooked for more than 4 people in a while either, so I'm kind of freaking out. Help me plan, and suggest mashed potato and turkey recipes! [more inside]
posted by skycrashesdown to Food & Drink at 8:57 PM - 16 answers

Have yourself a pleasant end of year period

I'm trying to think about what to do for the Christmas-New Years-Early January Birthday period this year. Every year I get stressed out and exhausted thinking about all the planning buying all the presents, doing all the cleaning & decorating and such that I don't really get around to anything and the actual days in question are kind of let downs. Then I feel regret and wish I could get a re-do. Trying to avoid it all this year. Any thoughts? [more inside]
posted by bleep to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 8:42 PM - 7 answers

What to do in northern NJ?

We will have time to kill this Sunday afternoon. Looking for things to do between Princeton and Newark, New Jersey. Unique sights, nature stuff, events, anything goes. Also, any suggestions for comfortable, quiet places to rest?
posted by molla to Travel & Transportation at 7:04 PM - 6 answers

Identifying a Mexican mariachi trumpet/brass sample from an 80s song

The first 40 seconds of the song "Ecstasy" by The Wolfgang Press (1984) features a sample of a Mexican mariachi-style trumpet/brass piece. I cannot identify the source of this sample. [more inside]
posted by wivy to Media & Arts at 6:39 PM - 2 answers

Meet the devil at me

Help me dress up like a Crossroads (as in, Blues musician Robert Johnson selling his soul to Satan at a crossroads).... [more inside]
posted by purenitrous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 5:22 PM - 10 answers

My son ruins shoes. What are the most ruin-resistant high-tops for him?

My 8 year old son has some foot issues...his feet/ankles pronate inward. Between his OT and his podiatrist, we've been told to get him anti-pronation inserts and high top sneakers for ankle support. The inserts were easy to get...the high tops are not as simple. We're looking for recommendations! [more inside]
posted by christinetheslp to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 4:46 PM - 4 answers

49 Day Funeral Customs

My friend, who is Taiwanese American, is having a gathering at his home for his mother’s 49 day funeral ceremony. We will be making paper lotus blossoms. This is in the United States, and we are in our mid-30s. I am not sure what dress is appropriate for the 49 day funeral ceremony. Is it formal black? Casual since we will be making origami lotuses? Also, is it appropriate to bring food and alcohol? Are there more traditional offerings that I should bring? Are there any other customs that I should be aware of for this ceremony?
posted by MS_gal to Society & Culture at 4:12 PM - 1 answer

Roof leak! Eek!

Two-three years ago, I had an oak branch plummet through my roof, like a spear thrown from Thor himself. Of course this was the year after my new roof had been installed, but I digress. I took a new shingle, and some of that black goo (can't remember the name) up there, and patched it up nicely.... [more inside]
posted by PlantGoddess to Home & Garden at 4:01 PM - 5 answers

please help me find a comic from my childhood

As a child, I dimly remember reading a specific comic book, and (after all this time) I'd like to find it again. The story had Iron Fist fighting Fu Manchu in a frozen or icy place. [more inside]
posted by Techbear to Media & Arts at 3:37 PM - 6 answers

Children's book identification - 1970s

Another one of these! There is a book I have been trying to remember (for no real reason) for 157 years, and I'm finally going to ask. Early to mid-1970s, color illustrations, gems, a little girl... [more inside]
posted by tristeza to Media & Arts at 1:50 PM - 2 answers

Really funny comedy recommendations?

Looking for recommendations for movies or TV shows that will make me laugh out loud, with a couple specifications. [more inside]
posted by EarnestDeer to Media & Arts at 12:11 PM - 50 answers

Does your town schedule Trick or Treat?

I grew up in Ohio and trick or treat times would be scheduled and published in the newspaper. I'm in California now and can't seem to find scheduled trick or treat times for my town. Is it possible scheduling trick or treat is just an Ohio/Midwest thing? [more inside]
posted by shesbookish to Society & Culture at 11:56 AM - 50 answers

How to distract a hungry cat?

After fostering cats for a couple of years I decided to adopt the lovely Adelaide, rescued as a stray late last winter. She's been with me since February and recently I've had to own up to how she's putting on too much weight. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by zadcat to Pets & Animals at 11:51 AM - 19 answers

Are non-committal friends the new normal?

It is sometimes a herculean struggle to get people in my friend group to commit to events. Often 50% to 75% will cancel the day of the event, just hours before. None of them have kids, serious relationships, or crazy work schedules. Is it me? Could I organize things differently? Or is this the new normal? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous to Human Relations at 11:36 AM - 52 answers

Best resources for cheap flexible last-minute travel?

Which resources should I be using to find high-value/low-cost flights/hotels if I don't have a particular destination in mind? Looking to take a short trip from NYC for a couple of days next week and go someplace new or different (to me). Do airlines have last-minute just fill some seat deals for those of us who don't travel enough to have any status? Do you have specific ideas for easy and inexpensive escapes from NYC at the end of October?
posted by andrewraff to Travel & Transportation at 10:50 AM - 3 answers

Cracks in drywall: who do we call?

We recently noticed some cracks in the drywall around a little alcove in our kitchen. The cracks appear right on the seam of the drywall where the wall angles away from the main kitchen wall. They're on both sides of the alcove. It looks to me like a patch job was done before, and I am concerned this is pointing to something more serious. Is it just a patch job over some poor drywalling, or should I be calling somebody in? If so, who? Photos are here. [more inside]
posted by synecdoche to Home & Garden at 10:26 AM - 6 answers

Please help me to not quit teaching.

This is my second year as a certified secondary classroom teacher (I have 4 years of experience including full-time substituting k-12 and paraprofessional work). I don't know where to begin. I live 3000 miles away from all of my family and friends. I teach in an urban school in Arizona, consistently ranked as the 1st or 2nd worst state for teachers. I'm depressed, frustrated with myself, and feel like I'm losing control of my class more and more as the year goes on. Soul-spilling rant inside. [more inside]
posted by WhitenoisE to Education at 10:26 AM - 11 answers

Managing post stress emotions

Things are finally better at work, but I think I'm finally letting myself have the meltdown I should have had before. How do I keep it from impacting my work and life? Strategies, tips? [more inside]
posted by sockomatic to Health & Fitness at 10:03 AM - 6 answers

Should I let my mom use my name in a MLM business?

My mom has joined a MLM business that sells "health" products. They've got all sorts of wonderful claims and, of course, no science to back them up. My mom wants to add my name in as one of her distributors. She says she will do all the work, I'll get the money, and eventually a new car. She just needs my social security number and bank account. [more inside]
posted by blackzinfandel to Human Relations at 7:40 AM - 35 answers

How easy is it for someone to discover your real identity online?

I'm struck by cases where someone who suddenly becomes famous is shamed by people online after they discover embarrassing comments they made in the past. As an example, CEO of Whole Foods used an alias and engaged in petty fights online over prospects of company. Somehow, hackers discovered it was him. Say I say some really harsh things about iPhones online (e.g., on Ask Mefi), then achieve fame through asking a question at a Presidential debate--how easy would it be for someone to discover my shameful anti-iPhone tirades?
posted by Jon44 to Computers & Internet at 6:27 AM - 15 answers

Quick! Is there an applied linguist on board?

I have the chance to complete my master's in applied linguistics for almost no cost. I want to do, but am not sure it's quite right for my career. Can anyone help me, please? [more inside]
posted by LoonyLovegood to Education at 6:25 AM - 6 answers

Warm workout clothes?

I've recently started walking the trails near my house for exercise. As it starts getting colder, I've realized I need better clothes to wear. Must be available in petite, and have pockets (either in the sweater or pants is fine, I just need to carry my keys and phone.) Ideally, I would like some kind of zip-out lining, but I don't know if that's possible. Thanks!
posted by backwards compatible to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 6:21 AM - 15 answers

Advice for attending a Hillary rally?

My main question is- if I take a day off work and go all the way up to NH on Monday, what are the chances that I'll actually get into the Clinton/Warren rally? If anyone has been to a Clinton rally recently, how early do I have to line up for a good chance at getting in? If I bring my 6 year old will it be a miserable experience for both of us?
posted by banjo_and_the_pork to Travel & Transportation at 4:09 AM - 4 answers

Using public dorm shower booths barefoot

So this is 5~10 years ago but I used to get into dorm shower booths barefoot. I'd thought that if you wear a flipflop in the shower, that the flipflop(I wore a really cheap one back then) would become the harboring ground for bacteria itself. Now I'm in a university environment again and came to think about how to manage my slippers -- I found out that you need footwear in the shower. Even so the shower floors were cleaned by the janitors every day; I always washed my feet with soap and then wiped them with towels before wearing my flipflops outside -- how much bad fungus do you think I would have picked up? I seldom had any symptoms of foot disease during college as far as I can remember, although during work I had less luck and my formal shoes were worse places for athlete's foot and foot itches. Now I wear plastic, thick slippers around and will buy Crocs soon (although I'm sharing a bath with only four people now).
posted by red_alert_3 to Education at 1:18 AM - 13 answers

October 21

Browncoats? (not the Whedon kind)

Many years of Anglophilic TV-watching have left me with a clothing question. What's the deal with the light brown, mid-length, indoor overcoat that certain British workers wear? [more inside]
posted by NumberSix to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 10:31 PM - 13 answers

Free/low cost online solution for file sharing and discussion forums?

My research has left me confused. I want to provide a simple online place/forum for participants in my adult education programs to share files and discussions. [more inside]
posted by MT to Computers & Internet at 6:53 PM - 6 answers

Best European sites for locating copies of out of print books

Does anyone have recommendations for particularly effective search engines for European second-hand / out of print books? Back when I used to look for these books pre-google, there were a couple of specialist sites that consolidated searches across numerous second-hand booksellers' catalogues, but I've forgotten their names. Do these still exist and if so, are they any use? [more inside]
posted by ogorki to Shopping at 5:27 PM - 6 answers

How do I deal with the pain/guilt of not keeping in touch with family?

I have social anxiety, and I've put off calling my family members (other than my Mom) for years because I'm afraid/don't know what to say/think they'll reject me. Now it looks like one of them doesn't have much longer to live. How do I not hate myself for putting off getting in touch? [more inside]
posted by Autumn to Human Relations at 3:56 PM - 10 answers

Help a teacher with their Halloween costume!

After my costume became a sleeper hit last year, I need help coming up with another fun costume for 2016! Help! [more inside]
posted by Nightman to Human Relations at 3:56 PM - 37 answers

How do I turn my mother's house into my home?

My mother passed away over the winter, and now I am alone (except for two cats and the squirrels in the attic) in the house we've shared for years. I'll be staying in the house for a year or two, and I'm trying to figure out ways to make the house feel like *mine*, not my mother's house that I happen to live in. [more inside]
posted by Archipelago to Grab Bag at 3:54 PM - 12 answers

Free or cheap computer for indigent artist

Hi, my friend is a brilliant digital artist and wants to apply or ask to get a free or cheap computer - his present main box is manufactured in the last millenium! Are there agencies, websites or subreddits, etc where he could show some of his work and get parts or a complete computer ? Should be capable of running adobe cs5 if possible. He is in the UK.
posted by Mistress to Computers & Internet at 3:21 PM - 6 answers

Test credit card for production?

I'm working with an ecommerce startup and we need a test credit card for production testing, as in a real credit card where we can purchase and void transactions. Is this something that a credit card company provides? I basically, don't want the card to get flagged because we use it then void it continuously. This might just be, use a corporate card and they don't care, but didn't know if there was a more clean way to do this. Bonus points if there's a magical card that we can have make transactions that don't actually go through so that we can use that for automated testing.
posted by geoff. to Computers & Internet at 3:14 PM - 10 answers

Break my daughter's heart or get sicker

I have come to the realisation that I can no longer safely or humanely look after the 2 cats my daughter grew up with. It is not fair to them, my neighbours, my landlord, and I am unwell and it is difficult for me. But my daughter has gone through so much in the past few years, bulimia, OCD, anxiety, depression, at least 2 rapes, her grandmother died, her father went to prison for a horrible crime. She can't take the cats on, she lives in a high rise on a limited income. There is no one else. I can't face telling her that I need to find a new home for them, and causing her more grief, but I can't keep doing this. It's too hard. I also love the cats but I'm not being a good enough kitty mama. What do I do?
posted by anonymous to Pets & Animals at 3:04 PM - 14 answers

How has sleep apnea affected you cognitively or emotionally?

My partner was diagnosed with sleep apnea 18 months ago. He became somewhat emotionally unstable around the same time. It's time to put my foot down and insist that he seek treatment for the apnea. I'm wondering whether I need to ask him to seek separate treatment for the emotional issues--which would be an extremely hard sell--or whether those are likely to improve if the apnea is treated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness at 3:03 PM - 16 answers

radio tech nerds! your bat signal!

Hi. I have a question about the FCC assignment of radio frequencies in the early 20th c. U.S. I know three things that I can't resolve, probably because I have only dipped into this lightly (and really can't get stuck in right now). [more inside]
posted by listen, lady to Technology at 2:23 PM - 7 answers

I quit. Here is a gift.

Leaving my job. Love my boss. She is taking my leaving like a champ despite it putting her in a tough spot. Looking for help for a thank you/good bye gift. [more inside]
posted by teamnap to Human Relations at 1:03 PM - 9 answers

Is eating with utensils better than eating with your hand?

Objectively speaking, is it better to eat with utensils than hands? If so, why? [more inside]
posted by yawper to Science & Nature at 12:48 PM - 28 answers

best free or cheap video chat

I have a regular video chat with friends. For the last few years we’ve been using Google Hangouts for this purpose, but lately it seems like the quality has gotten worse. We have regular sound/video quality and connectivity issues, to the point where sometimes we just give up. What are our other options for doing this for as little money (and with as little hassle) as possible? There are usually 4-5 of us involved, and a mix of iPhones/laptops/Android devices being used to make the calls. [more inside]
posted by juliapangolin to Technology at 12:45 PM - 5 answers

Casual Michelin restaurants in Paris?

After a truly horrendous day of travel (missed flights, extra fees to switch tickets, navigating Chatelet- Les Halles at rush hour, then locking ourselves out of the apartment), I'd like to treat my dear, patient, flustered husband to a meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant. He's expressed an interest, but unfortunately forgot to bring anything but jeans and (nice enough) collared plaid shirts. A couple of other qualifications inside... [more inside]
posted by deadtrouble to Food & Drink at 12:41 PM - 14 answers

Credit card chip fell off, what now?

So the chip on my credit card fell off somewhere, what can somebody do with it if they found it? [more inside]
posted by crashlanding to Work & Money at 12:35 PM - 5 answers

How to be more confident and less socially anxious?

Hello All, I seem be having some low-self esteem issues lately, especially with expressing a fierce opinion, sharing my beliefs, and sharing/explaining my hobbies to others. I have such a difficult time warming up to strangers, that I will excessively worry that I'm not interesting, exciting, and vibrant enough -- I'll shut down and become aloof. I have become withdrawn and reserved -- how can I open up and gain some confidence? [more inside]
posted by RearWindow to Society & Culture at 12:17 PM - 5 answers

Accessible, no bells & whistles spreadsheet program for financial info

I used to be a maven at Lotus 123 -- that is not compatible anymore; and, I've forgotten what I was great at. Never really used Excel -- for real medical reasons not up to learning it now. For financial planning and estate planning I need to produce budget, asset and assorted other spreadsheets detailing my personal info. [more inside]
posted by alwayson_slightlyoff to Grab Bag at 11:51 AM - 9 answers

What is a generous gift to an Indian woman helping plan our India trip?

My friend and I are headed to India for a 10 days trip, and a lovely woman answered a Facebook post I posted to a travelers' group about finding a driver. This lovely woman and her lovely travel agent sister have been essentially planning our trip, hotels, driver, etc. for free and I'm so, so grateful. How can I show my appreciation? [more inside]
posted by namesarehard to Society & Culture at 11:49 AM - 10 answers

OK so site is down for just me: now what

Hellllllllp. The file sharing site I use for a job has been up and down all day, but now it's apparently "up", and I still can't access it. How can I get back in? I am on a SUPER URGENT HOLY SHIT deadline and this thing REALLY needs to get fixed. Like now. Things I have tried below the fold. [more inside]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese to Technology at 11:33 AM - 15 answers

Is this bullshit or am I nuts? Workplace edition.

I was hired a year and a half ago to a position that I very much like and work very hard at in an extremely niche field. Everything has gone swimmingly until this week. Looking for some extra outside insight into this situation. Anybody had this happen to them? Or something similar? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia to Work & Money at 11:25 AM - 16 answers

Math for Board Game Design?

I'm making board games as a hobby and I'd like to have a better understanding of statistics and similar math topics in order to start the design stronger outta the gate - having better balance instead of just guessing. [more inside]
posted by symbioid to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 11:01 AM - 4 answers

Why don't children's tricyles have chain drives in North America?

We recently moved from the US to Europe with our 2-year-old son. We immediately set about finding him a tricycle, and very quickly noticed that a lot of the tricycles here have chain drives. Watching him speed around I've been wondering: why don't we have tricycles with chain drives in North America? [more inside]
posted by CoureurDubois to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation at 8:50 AM - 17 answers

Help Me Buy My First Breast Binder

AFAB, want to try binding to help me look more like I feel. I've seen other binder shopping questions, but few are around my size. Please help me buy my first binder. [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion at 8:24 AM - 10 answers

Batch download PDFs linked in PDFs?

Need to download hundreds of PDFs, but they are linked in PDFs... Browser extensions can't auto-download them- what are my options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous to Computers & Internet at 8:23 AM - 2 answers

How to achieve maximum impact of promotional free software

We are getting ready to release a free standalone CAD software. It is a downloadable product, does not run in a web browser (not like the more typical startup SAAS offers). Our company intends to sell an API library and consulting services using said API. The API was used to build the CAD software. [more inside]
posted by spacefire to Work & Money at 8:08 AM - 2 answers

Should I wait until after the election to officially change my name?

Mr Millipede and I got married in September. I am taking his last name (and moving my last name to my middle name), but I haven't gone to the social security office to do so yet because work has been very busy and I never got the chance. I now have time to go, but I thought of something: voting. [more inside]
posted by millipede to Law & Government at 8:06 AM - 10 answers

Movie Night Nom Noms

What would you serve at a "Hunt for Wilderness" movie night other than twigs, whatever they eat in New Zealand, and Māori food? [more inside]
posted by RoadScholar to Food & Drink at 7:47 AM - 15 answers


A lot of Hillary Clinton backlash I see from more left wing/radical friends is "FUNNY to see Clinton/Obama talk about how they stand up for children and women but then turn around and DRONE STRIKE SYRIAN FAMILIES." Has there been anything written to counter this critique from the left, or meditating on Obama/Clinton drone politics, or reconciling with drone policy on the democrat side? [more inside]
posted by windbox to Law & Government at 7:20 AM - 10 answers

Prioritized changes in health behaviors with effect sizes. Exists?

I am looking for aggregated data/review articles on the estimated positive effects of lifestyle/diet changes based on research that could be used to prioritize such changes by their impact/effect sizes. [more inside]
posted by srboisvert to Health & Fitness at 7:10 AM - 3 answers

Where should I control volume from in a series?

Where should I control volume when I am listening to music on a device with a volume control through one or more devices with their own volume controls? [more inside]
posted by Admiral Haddock to Technology at 6:46 AM - 7 answers