Questions in the Human Relations category.
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March 31

I'm having trouble deciphering my friend's new behavior toward me

I was going through a tough time with some family members, and one day it became too much to handle. I cried in front of this guy I'll call him C, who is the leader of this meetup group I'm in. He's two years older than me. We've been casual friends for a few years, but I've had the biggest secret crush on him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:00 AM - 13 answers

My mom is lonely and alone. Can I offer healthy support with boundaries?

I recently posted my current situation here. I'm still struggling with a longstanding issue: My mom's undiagnosed (notwithstanding a brief stint on anti-depressants 15 years ago following her divorce) possible depression. About once or twice a year I find myself with her while she sobs uncontrollably and talks about how lonely and alone she feels as she ages. These are all valid feelings and fears, but everytime I bring up seeing a counsellor to help her get her life back on track, giver her tools to cope, filter out the negative energy in her life (such as her codependent relationship with her 29 y/o son), she refuses to admit there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by stumblingthroughitall at 1:12 AM - 5 answers

March 30

Am I being supporting or sacrificial? Taking things back a step

My boyfriend (just turned 30, and I'm 24) of nearly 7 months is very recently divorced (it was finalized 4 months ago and they have been separated for 9). He's the most open and communicative person I've ever met and keeps me as much in the loop as I need to be about where he's at and how he's feeling regarding his loss (but also keeps some details to himself that I probably don't really need to know about.) Our relationship started out very mutual and enthusiastic, and mostly still is but he's taking a few steps back to analyze himself and it's triggering my relationship anxiety. I don't know whether to trust my gut or quiet the fear. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus at 10:29 PM - 21 answers

Online Therapy Recommendations

I need a time flexible online therapy/therapist reommendation. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:06 PM - 1 answers

Ideas for repairing a damaged friendship

How do I make up with a friend over a third party situation involving an animal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:21 AM - 28 answers

Help for the fearful-avoidant adult.

I seem to be Fearful-avoidant according to attachment theory in adults. Please help me learn more about this way of dealing with people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:21 AM - 8 answers

First time single man - what should I know?

After 13 years of a relationship, my wife and I have separated. It's a mutual decision and we're both feeling good about it. BUT... I've not been in in the dating game since I was 15 and I'm 31 now. So what should I know? Any tips, advice, "never never never"s much appreciated. I'm guessing it works a little differently to how it did at high school... or maybe not?
posted by tzb at 1:52 AM - 20 answers

March 29

I need to get outside my shell. How do I begin?

I'm a plain-vanilla guy, and I really want to change that and get out of my shell. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude at 5:35 PM - 15 answers

Is my friend using his personal problems as a weapon against us?

A friend of mine is having some pretty severe personal issues, but refuses to get help and gets mad at anyone who says anything he even remotely doesn't like. Is it time to cut ties and/or call him out? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 at 5:33 PM - 17 answers

Fear of Flying, General Aviation Edition

My awesome husband recently completed his private pilot license. This has been a lifelong dream for him, and he's excited about the speed and fun that flying will add to our family trips. The problem is that I am anxious about flying. I have managed to cope on airliners, but I am TERRIFIED of the small four-seater planes he flies. My first trip went very poorly, with me having a panic attack in the air. Today we tried again, and I couldn't even get in the plane. What can I do to be less afraid and stop crushing my husband's dreams? [more inside]
posted by jeoc at 3:10 PM - 36 answers

Why do I get light-headed when my anus is penetrated (mostly enemas)?

I love to give anal, but receiving it- mainly in enema form- is a different story. I'd like to know why this could be happening. [more inside]
posted by Jangatroo at 2:41 PM - 9 answers

I might've ruined one of my closest friendships. Should I make amends?

The backstory might shed light, but it's long and I'm sorry if it bores you. I might make a TL;DR sentence, but I suggest you read the whole thing. TL;DR. Befriended girl and crushed, had a lot of issues that turned me off, turned into a very close friend, badly timed telling her about dead feelings, and managed to still communicate until I had to back off for a bit. Don't know what I should do? [more inside]
posted by krs15 at 2:05 PM - 31 answers

Hallmarks of not having "done the work"?

What are the signs of someone who hasn't pursued therapy and healing and isn't ready for a relationship? [more inside]
posted by morganw at 9:48 AM - 29 answers

March 28

Is my partner of 6 months checking out of the relationship? Or lazy?

We're both in our mid-thirties. He still wants to hang out at least 3 nights a week. I always sleep over since his place has privacy and he pays for more things to balance out the driving. He used to be more enthusiastic about planning dates. We'd try new places to eat at and on our last date, we went dancing. The rest of the week, we still grabbed a quick meal and talked. For weeks now, he has only wanted to order takeout and watch movies. We only started the movies/takeout during a time that he had a cold for 2 weeks and the weather was subzero. It was supposed to be temporary. Now it's all the time, whether it's out of laziness or habit, or whatever. He'll go out if I ask, but it seems like he's only doing it for me. [more inside]
posted by lohachata at 7:27 PM - 36 answers

Is there a spouse of a surrogate partner that would be willing to chat?

My wife and I are in the early to mid stages of surrogacy. Have any tips, guidance, etc? [more inside]
posted by NotSoSimple at 11:23 AM - 4 answers

TIme to go

Time to move out, my friends. I realized I'm being threatened to be disowned again. However, unlike the other times I think the other person might be serious this time around. So tell me about all the resources needed and how fast can I leave? [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit at 8:43 AM - 26 answers

I received a connection request on LinkedIn from an old friend ...

* Special snowflake advisory * [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:57 AM - 15 answers

March 27

My husband wants to build a house. I don't. Help.

My husband and I are at an impasse and I need help either figuring out how to make my case more clearly or ideas how to get myself on board. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:54 PM - 39 answers

It's not that I mind having more friends, but...

It seems that whenever I meet a woman I really like and think I have a connection with, she can only view me as a friend. I'm generally okay with this, because their great qualities as people is what attracted me to them in the first place, and those don't change just because she's not interested in me. But when it happens over and over and over again, it does make me wonder whether there's something I'm doing wrong. Why is it I'm consistently viewed as good friend material, but not good lover material? [more inside]
posted by KantGoOn at 12:57 PM - 83 answers

Should I Forget Him or is There Still Something There?

This guy I met a few months ago has been sending me some very mixed signals for a very long time and I honestly don't know what to make of it. Whenever I'm just about to write him off for ghosting on me, he re-appears and it's like nothing ever happened. Anyone have any advice or tips? [more inside]
posted by lana0112 at 10:57 AM - 46 answers

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