Questions in the Human Relations category.
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June 30

What self help workbooks would you recommend for me?

I am looking for a book that will help me work through issues with intimacy and being emotionally distant, anxiety surrounding myself and my life, self esteem issues, getting in touch with my emotions, and just dealing with a lot of latent frustration. Overall, a book on tools to develop emotional maturity is what I need. If anyone knows of a workbook with exercises that would be best since they tend to keep my attention, but if not a regular self help book would be awesome. [more inside]
posted by tomtheblackbear at 5:54 PM - 7 answers

Do I squash the seed of leaving or just let it grow?

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship. Maybe it was a mistake asking a question before, but now I can't stop thinking and debating, feeling guilty and exhausted about my relationship. Please advise for hopefully the last time I bring this up. The snowflakes are falling inside and it's a long post, sorry. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms at 4:47 PM - 34 answers

Living with an alcoholic boyfriend

I am in a pickle. My boyfriend is an alcoholic (probably the functioning kind- whatever that is,) and we live together. We have been together for almost two years. I can't stand the drinking anymore, and I have tried nearly every avenue to remedy it within the relationship. The only thing I can think to do now, is move out so that I can distance myself from his alcoholism. [more inside]
posted by Wizzow at 1:50 PM - 52 answers

Introducing and managing TV time for toddlers

We don't have a TV and don't really plan on getting one, and our now 2 year old, until recently, had never watched any. Now we've relaxed the rule (we have an infant now and needed a little time so did it on a whim) and now I have no idea how to control this . . . [more inside]
posted by EtTuHealy at 7:06 AM - 33 answers

Should I tell my friend her comments about my hair were offensive?

i'm really really really really really tired of being a black woman in America and dealing with ridiculous comments people make when I do something as simple as wear my hair the way nature designed it. Most of the time I'm happy with who I am, but simply being myself is like death by a thousand cuts and there are some days when things really add up and they get to me. [more inside]
posted by starpoint at 12:39 AM - 64 answers

Tips for dating a busy entrepreneur/startup owner

What are your tips for dating a busy entrepreneur/startup CEO who has very limited time and emotional energy? What are some tips to help me be more patient/understanding, and what can he do to make the situation better? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:00 AM - 19 answers

Weed nerds-- Help me find a hookah alternative with a similar vibe?

My husband and I currently spend the majority of our time together wrangling our two year old. We have been getting in an 'adult time' frame of mind about twice a month by smoking weed from a hookah. It's awesome. However, I'm concerned about the health effects. Looking for an alternative that preserves the relaxing ritual feel. Snowflakes below [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:00 AM - 15 answers

June 29

Please help me write a request in many different languages

I live in an apartment with a bedroom window that overlooks the parking lot. People come home late at night and lock their car doors remotely, with that annoying chirp of the horn. Some people give it half a dozen honks, every single time. What I'd like to do is post a friendly note by the mailboxes, in as many different languages as possible, just asking that people kindly refrain from the horn honking in the parking lot. [more inside]
posted by mammoth at 10:39 PM - 13 answers

Grace and Equanimity

How do I learn to live with a little more grace? [more inside]
posted by sprezzy at 8:21 PM - 10 answers

Separated guy ends it what now?

My divorcing bf of 5mo ended it, saying he wants to fall in love with me and give himself wholeheartedly to me but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. He messaged next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out, I responded to say he should take the time he needs to heal. He messaged again to say he enjoyed every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself at the moment. Every time he messages it's hard as I miss him but I don't want to cut contact as I hope he'll come back. What should I do?
posted by Anastasia100 at 8:02 AM - 20 answers

How to deal with the fear of physical confrontation

How do you overcome the worry and anxiety caused by the prospect of a physical confrontation and the psychological aftermath? [more inside]
posted by blokefromipanema at 2:52 AM - 14 answers

June 28

How can I rectify a needy relationship? I was the needy one.

Hello everyone, Gonna try to be as honest as possible so that I get better advice. I'd like insight, and not sympathy. (I mean, sympathy is nice, but truth first.) So, for the past few years, my life has not been ideal, I've moved a lot, had a lot of abusive jobs, and been super isolated. I've been trying to scrape my way out of it, but it's been difficult, and I recently reached a bad, dangerous point with my anxiety. I think I'm only now starting to get out of it. Through all of this, I had a very kind friend who was supportive and tried to help me through it. I didn't view her aid, or her sympathetic ear as out of the norm. I thought she was just being a friend...but I realize how, and this is in her own words, that she was feeling like a counselor, especially since I was not making fast improvement. [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist at 9:26 PM - 23 answers

Getting some on the side, with permission.

My spouse has given me permission to have sex outside of our marriage, has expressed a desire for me to do so. This is not something that I have necessarily wanted to do, but I believe it is something I should consider for reasons I will explain inside. Have you or someone that you know done this? If so, what are the pitfalls? What are some good ground rules? What worked and what didn't? What should I consider before taking this step? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:03 PM - 19 answers

Why do I feel wired?

So I’m dating a great guy for about 6 weeks now and it’s going well in many ways. A few days ago he invited me to watch a movie at his sister’s. We picked up some food and went over. I met his sister and her husband, we watched a movie, then went to the kitchen area and were talking for a bit about movies. They are perfectly nice people, but I felt awkward the entire time. [more inside]
posted by LakeDream at 11:20 AM - 22 answers

How to discuss with my wife her quitting her job?

My wife told me yesterday that she wants to ask for a sabbatical off work and, if this is refused, she wants to quit. She wants to do this tomorrow. I support her decision, however I feel we need to discuss the implications (which are many) before she pulls the trigger; she does not really see the point and gives the impression she doesn't really care about the implications. I think I have convinced her to have a discussion this evening, however how do I have this discussion without it ending up in a confrontation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:22 AM - 38 answers

Why is abuse so formulaic?

After reading around forums on parental abuse, I'm struck by how often my mother has a behaviour/opinion/specific threat or saying that is so common it could've come from an official handbook. My parents didn't have a parenting 'philosophy', they just did what they liked and didn't give it much thought. How is it possible that these isolated, fairly unaware people could be reproducing the exact same abusive behaviour I've read over and over, committed thousands of miles away? [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday at 5:02 AM - 19 answers

June 27

Love and Freindship

I’m reconsidering friendships I’ve had for over a decade based on an unkind interaction I had with two of them recently via Skype. One of them has an overseas wedding coming up that I need to decide about soon. Should I confront them? Am I overreacting? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:48 PM - 30 answers

All work and no play...well, you know the rest.

I'm great at fulfilling my obligations, but awful at doing things for fun or pleasure. What has helped you get better at doing things for enjoyment? [more inside]
posted by MetaFilter World Peace at 2:10 PM - 12 answers

Friendships with the elderly

Are you friends with someone a lot older or younger than you? [more inside]
posted by mild deer at 9:36 AM - 32 answers

Share memorable grandparent/preschooler activities and traditions

What creative, offbeat fun do your preschoolers enjoy when they stay with their grandparents? [more inside]
posted by Elsie at 2:24 AM - 13 answers

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