Questions in the Human Relations category.
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December 21

Family Drama Filter: Help me distance myself from a parent

I've come to realize over the years that while I love my father, I am so different from him, and do not share his and his wife's (he is remarried) lifestyle and values and really wish I could come to accept it and completely distance myself from them. Please help me do this. [more inside]
posted by SanSebastien at 8:52 AM - 6 answers

What should the future with my ex look like?

My husband cheated on me and left me after nearly two decades of a wonderful, loving, respectful marriage. The betrayal came out of nowhere, and involved emotional and on occasion physical abuse. I can't just go no contact, because we've got a daughter, we're financially entangled, and we will be for years. I am having trouble forging a new, post-marriage relationship with him because I'm deeply hurt, raw, angry, sad, and disoriented. I also can't picture what that relationship even looks like. And he has asked to spend all day on Christmas here at the house ... I don't know if I can handle it. [more inside]
posted by Capri at 7:02 AM - 52 answers

Post-coital repulsion

I use sex-related words in my question, so I've placed it in the extended area in case anyone is browsing at a prudish workplace. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:50 AM - 14 answers

December 20

Decline request from colleague with minimum damage to relationship?

A couple of months ago a coworker asked me if I could help him, in exchange for a fee, write a rather lengthy research paper which he needs for career advancement. At the time I said I would be busy till January, but that I would probably be able to take up the assigment then. But things have changed... [more inside]
posted by Basque13 at 9:51 PM - 6 answers

Depressed, distant and asking for space. What to do now?

I've been seeing a guy exclusively for 2 months, sleeping over 3 nights a week with nice dates. We're in a gaming group together. On 2 occasions he murmured I love you while half asleep. We never went a day without texting good morning/good night and we chatted frequently. Our dates were getting longer, and Monday morning he acted enamored. He messaged me as usual to gush about me. By the end of that day, he already seemed distant. By Thur he had still not mentioned seeing me again. When I asked if he wanted to hang out after the party or Fri, he didn't acknowledge the question. He seemed very interested in chatting about everything else but no longer seemed interested in flirting/sexy talk. We were attending a party Thur and normally he says "Excited to see you!" but he didn't even say it back. At the party, he was affectionate & seemed himself at first. When it was time to leave, he was distant, avoidant to the point of being rude, and gave a lame excuse for wanting to hang out Friday instead. [more inside]
posted by lohachata at 4:48 PM - 34 answers

Was this a weird thing to do or am I just having major anxiety?

How can I escape a spiraling anxiety and shame based mood and be realistic? I'm drivong myself crazy. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 at 2:45 PM - 27 answers

Salutations from the 1950's

My mother just sent me a Christmas card addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Lastname". Help me prove to her that such a salutation is outdated and that my identity didn't get swallowed up when I got hitched. [more inside]
posted by Elly Vortex at 12:16 PM - 35 answers

How do I protect myself emotionally as a submissive?

I'm a bi female in my early 30s, just out of a decade long very vanilla relationship. I live in NYC and have been exploring my submissive side. Really enjoying it. Like, alot. I have never had better sex in my life and it is amazing. I am extremely submissive and I'm having a little bit of difficultly making sure I am emotionally safe. Because of the nature of my situation, I can't really talk to my usual family or friend connections when I need to vent. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:36 AM - 22 answers

Sober living communities in New York - do they exist?

Sober living communities in New York - do they exist? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:50 AM - 11 answers

December 19

Worst christmas present evar!

I'm pregnant. Do I tell the boy*? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:03 PM - 55 answers

How to spend Christmas alone and broke?

This will be the first Christmas in my life where I'm alone - no significant other or family. While I've never thought of myself as much of a holiday person, the idea is beginning to weigh on me and I'm looking for suggestions as how to spend the day (and days leading up to it) in a happy manner. Extra challenge: I'm quite extremely broke. [more inside]
posted by item at 12:43 PM - 46 answers

Indie/Twee Playlist for a when you've been DTMFA'd?

I would like your suggestions for the Twee-est, Saddest, Shambliest songs for needing to process some heartcrap. Think The Softies, Brighter, Unrest etc. [more inside]
posted by Annika Cicada at 10:01 AM - 31 answers

How long do you keep trying, with kids in the mix?

At what point in the long, slow, steady decline of a marriage with young children does "we should keep trying to work things out, if only for the kids" become "for the kids' sake, we shouldn't be together"? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso at 9:20 AM - 57 answers

Help with belligerent but not elderly Parent

My father is 58 years old and recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He also may have issues with his colon but that hasn't been confirmed. He has become very aggresive, angry and hostile towards me and my family since the diagnosis. He has a history of acting like this in times of high stress but now he is been extra hurtful. As a result I have stopped talking to him. I feel bad about not being there for him in this difficult time but feel I still deserve respect and that he should be responsible for his words. How do I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by The1andonly at 8:00 AM - 15 answers

December 18

My parent survived child abuse. Is it impacting us now?

What information and support is out there for adult children of people who themselves survived child abuse (including physical, sexual, and verbal / emotional abuse)? How can abuse survivors' families (including adult children) navigate the effects of untreated trauma? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:33 PM - 18 answers

They forgot my birthday... again

My birthday is a week and a half before Christmas. My family has forgotten my birthday several years in a row now. I kinda don't want to visit for Christmas anymore. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:33 PM - 39 answers

I don't know how to handle this

I just found out my 12 year old son was sexually molested 8 years ago, and has now molested his 4 year old cousin. I am not dealing well with this knowledge. Help me figure out how to cope. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 7:24 PM - 15 answers

Is it weird/creepy to attempt friendship with a one off acquaintance?

Recently I had to take my car in for repairs. I visited the shop for an estimate, spoke on the phone to the receptionist and dealt with her when dropping off my car and picking up the courtesy car. Not only was she very helpful in providing me with some information I needed (a previous shop I went to weren't helpful at all) but she was fun to interact with. She and I seemed to hit it off and chatted each time for a few minutes, about the car and also about some other random topics. After interacting with her I just felt like I wished she was my friend. The converation was light and fun and I think we share a sense of humor. Just to provide some more information: I'm a female in my early 40s and I think she is maybe late 40s. [more inside]
posted by thegoldfish at 6:04 PM - 25 answers

Boyfriend texting another girl?

When my boyfriend (of 6 years) and I had a fight, I noticed he was texting all night. I had a look at his phone out of anger, and I wish I hadn't, because now I can't un-see what I saw, nor stop thinking about it. It's probably nothing, but it's got me checking. I know I need to stop, but I need to deal with this issue at hand first. Should I confront him? [more inside]
posted by Satsue at 5:03 PM - 31 answers

Develop a relationship with non-English speaking woman?

Hi, I am a US citizen who has met a Cuban woman through a dating website. She lives in the same US city I do. She knows some English, very little. The attraction to me is almost completely physical. She's beautiful, happy, and good spirited. I have seen her sense of humor. We have watched a movie at the theater together and a Spanish language movie at my house. She really enjoyed the Spanish movie, as did I, it being one of my favorite movies of all time. We have been doing most of our communication through texts, using translators. Our next date will be dinner at my home. I am a little nervous because we will probably be trying more conversation this time. So does anyone have any experience or advice for my situation?
posted by anonymous at 3:02 PM - 11 answers

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