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September 20

Separation without moving out?
Can you have a trial separation while still both living in the same house? [more inside]
posted by El Curioso at 12:23 PM - 20 answers
No erection blues
I've been dating a guy for two months, and he's gotten maybe two non-morning wood erections with a lot of sleeping over, cuddling, oral, and sexy grinding around. He is, I think, minimizing the problem, and I am at the point when I want to shout, "Go to a doctor! Your dick doesn't work!" Help me. [more inside]
posted by takemetosocktown at 11:25 AM - 30 answers

How do I help an ex - or not - through impending bereavement?
My husband and I are separated, and he just called to say his father is seriously ill in hospital with multiple organ failure and the prognosis is pretty hopeless. I don't know what my role is supposed to be in this, if any. I'm looking for advice from people who have been in a similar situation please. [more inside]
posted by outoftime at 10:14 AM - 13 answers

Moving-In Nerves
So my boyfriend and I are moving in together next month. Needless to say, the pitfalls and potential problems make me nervous (neither of us have lived with a long-term partner; he's 31, I'm 26F, been together almost 2 years). What I need now are reminders of why this is a good idea: tips, anecdotes, rituals. What makes living with your partner a positive and special thing? I'm looking for what TO do, rather than what NOT to do.
posted by brynna at 7:50 AM - 19 answers

The sibling who molested me is getting ordained
I am a woman in my early 30’s. Starting when I was around 8, my older sister (who would have been 11) molested me. We have never talked about this. My parents know but are in denial. In high school, she became interested in religion and became a Christian, which has endured since then, and a few years ago she decided to attend seminary and become a minister. I have thought about all the complexities of this, but I am still not sure how best to proceed, if I proceed at all. I want whatever I do, if I do anything, to be healing (mostly for myself), fair, and considerate of all involved. I’m putting more information inside, and, while I can’t boil this down to a single question, would love any thoughts you have on this issue. I am posting anonymously, but if you’d like me to contact you for any reason, just say so and I will PM you from my real account. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:56 AM - 16 answers

September 19

How to scare someone?
Recently I was surprise spooked by a figure on my roof as I was leaving my house in the middle of the night as a joke by my friend. I want to get them back in a big way. Short of anything super extreme or coordinating with friends (this is a solo operation) how can I scare them back? I need your best and scariest ideas.
posted by Marinara at 11:07 PM - 15 answers

On to the next chapter, onward and upward!
So I'm moving and getting roommates, any advice from the green on how to move forward with my life? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol at 5:13 PM - 13 answers

Keep on trying with polyamory?
I'm in a relationship with one person at the moment who I really like and care about. But I'm someone who really craves closeness (insecure attachment style) while he needs a lot more space and independence. I am very lonely a lot of the time. While if I imagine my ideal life it would be with him and other partners or close non-sexual friendships this hasn't happened. I'm not sure whether to keep on trying? [more inside]
posted by ninjablob at 3:47 PM - 8 answers

My partner lied to me about alcohol. Now what?
My partner lied to me about alcohol. Now what? [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis at 3:41 PM - 48 answers

How do you cheat the system without cheating people?
I'm looking for an example of "cheating the system" in a positive way. Often times cheating the system results in people being cheated as well, when does cheating the system benefit people without hurting others?
posted by robadobdob at 9:35 AM - 33 answers

Please help me tell good friends to not touch my newborn baby
I am a new mom to a six week old baby. My husband and I are part of a close group of friends we haven't seen in a while. They're eager to meet this baby and we'd like to let that happen next weekend. However, please help me firmly yet politely tell them they can't touch her until she's a little bigger. [more inside]
posted by dmbfan93 at 4:53 AM - 56 answers

September 18

Two polar opposite friends clashing, who would've guessed?
When I was having a particularly rough time at home I told a good friend that I was thinking about living in my car for a while. Some time later he mentioned having told another friend about it, laughing about how ridiculous of an idea it was. I feel betrayed. I've told him how that made me feel and he doesn't seem to care so I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by blackzinfandel at 8:08 PM - 28 answers

Oh Wise Ones...I need your OkCupid Profile Help!
Getting back in the online dating saddle, and I would love some honest critiques of my profile. In the past I haven't had much luck, but I've decided to give it another go (and yes, I'm aware of the dismal stats on black women, but I also think my profile could have been stronger). So for those of you who enjoy this sort of thing, any advice you have to offer would be fantastic. [more inside]
posted by Fiorentina97 at 4:20 PM - 21 answers

Self- sabotage: A beast with two heads
For the past few years, I've had to deal with what seems like procrastination's more stubborn cousin. It's not just a tendency to put things off- it feels like a visceral, physically-manifested resistance to doing things that should involve no forethought in terms of effort whatsoever, or that do, but that would only serve to help me better myself if I managed to get them done. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 at 3:26 PM - 17 answers

How do I explain the whole daddy dom thing to my vanilla husband?
First off I absolutely am not a gal on the whole 50 shades bandwagon. Let's get this straight right now ;). I'm talking about actual kink. When I say daddy dom, I'm not meaning full on age play, just doing the bratty sub thing. (Almost like a little but not quite to the same extent). [more inside]
posted by neanderloid at 2:18 AM - 12 answers

September 17

I have "commitment issues", which are incompatible with what I want.
I've always known that I want to find someone and fall in love and raise a family, the whole bit. That's my end-goal, no other ambition in my life is more important to me.. But I always freak out in relationships. I'm almost always the one moving things forwards, because I know what I want, but I get so anxious sometimes.. I'm currently dating someone who is actually perfect for me. He's like me in every way, I've never had better. I don't want to lose him, and I'm not planning on it, but I'm hoping to get advice as to how to stop "freaking out". [more inside]
posted by Ellabelle797 at 7:58 PM - 7 answers

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome
I'm self-aware enough to know I am a perfectionist with Impostor Syndrome, but I'm clueless as to how to fix this. I need to kick this before I crash and burn at my new, fabulous job. [more inside]
posted by sevensnowflakes at 7:48 PM - 16 answers

Help with asking my father for financial support
My dad will be making his last child support payment to my mother next month for my brother who is 19 and no longer in full time education (he’s going to university). After then he will no longer financially support my brother - he hasn't financially supported me since I was 18 when he made his last support payment. I am now thinking of asking him directly to make a monthly payment to me and my brother since he isn’t supporting us in any other way. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves at 2:29 PM - 38 answers

How do you deal with seeing your ex with their new lady/dude?
Me and my ex are still friends, we still talk and we're friendly with each other but he never gave me a reason not to be anyway. We just started talking again a few weeks ago after being broken up for 2 years. [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue at 2:23 PM - 22 answers

Is he interested in dating me after he gets over his ex?
This is a pretty specific case, but I'm hopeless when it comes to relationships. Plus I got such great responses on other questions, I thought you all might have some good feedback for me. Thanks ahead of time!! [more inside]
posted by lfergie401 at 2:04 PM - 15 answers

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