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July 28

Help me reprogram the self-punishing part of my brain
At the end of a project, regardless of how the rest of the world feels about it, I am almost always sad and angry at myself about how it went. Sometimes I imagine myself being punished for imperfections, e.g. by being attacked and beaten to death with pipes because of bugs in submitted code. Other times I project this unhappiness and anger onto other people, e.g. imagining that colleagues are disappointed in me, until they actually say outright that they are pleased with how something went. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 4:20 PM - 10 answers
I don't have friends.
I'm interested in improving my social or networking skills for a better perspective on life. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit at 3:53 PM - 4 answers

Help me make the most of the time my mother has left.
My mother has terminal cancer, and I don't know how much time she has left. Others with experience losing a parent: what would I regret not doing with this time? [more inside]
posted by joan cusack the second at 2:52 PM - 18 answers

Divorce how to
I want to separate from my spouse. What can I do to minimize stress and maximize my resolve? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 1:33 PM - 16 answers

There's no escape
Adrift, lonely and feeling hopeless. Advice would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by morning_television at 12:46 PM - 12 answers

Tell me again why teenagers shouldn't be having sex.
My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.) [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce at 11:57 AM - 72 answers

July 27

A sad, sad life
I have been isolated and depressed for 10 years. I need help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:12 PM - 34 answers

July 26

Step/half siblings getting along
What is the relationship between step or half siblings like as children? from parent or child perspectives [more inside]
posted by ichomp at 9:42 PM - 15 answers

Where do people go to NOT drink on the weekends?
I have recently decided to stop drinking due to health reasons. I'm 29 and I live in Chicago, so most of the socialization options available to me (or at least the ones I'm aware of) center around drinking – bars and restaurants, etc. What are some things to do on weekend afternoons and nights that will not involve drinking? [more inside]
posted by deathpanels at 1:02 PM - 19 answers

I love you, mom, but I can't talk to you any more
My mom has (not formally diagnosed, but very obvious) borderline personality disorder that is getting worse as she gets older. She is unable to support herself financially and being in contact with her is awful. What now? [more inside]
posted by anotheraccount at 8:15 AM - 25 answers

How to break it off with someone you've seen, uh, once
Let's say you go on a date with someone. The date goes well, you go back to their place. Things happen...SEX things. You realize afterward that it may have been a mistake. Yeah, definitely a mistake. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:45 AM - 14 answers

July 25

How to cope with grey areas
I have Asperger's, and so I have a tendency to be more comfortable with things that are black and white, rather than things that are grey, figuratively speaking. I want to change this, as this tends to affect more than one aspect of my life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:24 PM - 11 answers

Help me (emotionally) graduate from middle school.
This question is very difficult for me to ask, but it has been on my mind enough that I need to swallow my pride and throw it out to you fine folks. I have not been a teen for over a decade; I am, overall, a well-adjusted adult. I am at the top of my game professionally, I am happily married, and I have some wonderful friends. I also have perspective on "real issues"... I've survived some fairly significant tragedies and dealt with family drama that has rendered my therapist speechless. So why do I let the petty antics of a few former friends (who are also colleagues) ruin my day? [more inside]
posted by hippychick at 6:40 AM - 25 answers

July 24

What to do when the guy I'm dating is uncertain about proceeding?
What actions should I take when the guy I have been dating for a month seems confused and uncertain about taking dating to the next level? [more inside]
posted by enantio at 9:44 PM - 33 answers

Name Blindness
I'm somewhat notable in my professional field and I meet a ton of new people weekly, as attending social events is part of my job (cocktail parties, art openings, etc.) It often takes 3-4 times before I can remember someone's name, or to even recognize their face. However, they recognize me instantly, and approach me with great familiarity, a hug, like we're buddies. I panic. It gets awkward. "Excuse me, ma'am, how did we meet?" seems such an rude question, especially when they act so intimate with me. (This happens weekly!) What can I say to people in this situation that doesn't offend them, but will divulge our (thinly) established relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 9:33 PM - 20 answers

Trying to make a change in my life, but I don't know where to start?
I am in a weird phase of my life where I want to change some things. I have always been a rather antisocial person and for the first time ever I am dying to get out and be social. I am also wondering where I will end up and what my goals in life truly are. I also want to get healthier, eat better, be more productive. Truth is, I don't know where to start? [more inside]
posted by Chelsaroo650 at 7:24 PM - 9 answers

July 23

How to deal with friend that invites others along?
I have a friend i've known for almost 6 years now and recently we started taking weekend trips to a comic convention every March since we only see each other twice a year. She's invited someone she's friends with and her 3 year old daughter to come with us, i've never met her and i really don't want to spend my weekend with someone's fussy 3 year old. How do you handle something like this? [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue at 4:09 PM - 85 answers

Should I break up with my gf while I work on resolving my addiction?
I started dating my girlfriend six months ago. Since that time, I have gradually taken more of my stimulant medication than prescribed. I have told her on multiple occasions about the overuse of my stimulant medication and that recently it had gotten worse. Earlier tonight she told me that she is starting to distance herself from me and that she needs some extra space to protect herself [from being around someone with addictive behavior]. Her brother had a drug problem and she understands how emotionally draining it can be to have an addict in her life. What is the mature thing to do in this situation? Do I wait for her to potentially break up with me? Do I ask her for a break while I work on things? Do I just want to ask for a break to save myself from the pain of her breaking up with me first? I love her and I want her to be a part of my life but I don't want her to be consumed by my addiction while I get help. Please help.
posted by anonymous at 2:29 PM - 15 answers

Looking for good grief support groups in NYC
My friend's Dad died earlier this year, and she's working through it. She wants to find a good grief support group in New York, preferably in lower Manhattan or Brooklyn. She works a lot, and the few she knows about meet in times when she just can't go. [more inside]
posted by WStraub at 2:16 PM - 1 answers

Deskilled in the mating game - what now?
I've lived like a nun bar the religion for almost 5 yrs (after a couple of very bad relationship choices) in supposedly my sexual peak. Yeah right. I've worked on myself but I'm still quite gun shy/lack confidence in my own judgement of others (men especially) and pretty much avoid that side of life. So it came as a bit of a surprise when I found myself asking out my course trainer (just a one day thing) for a drink. He said yes :) .. which felt good but what the f happens now? [more inside]
posted by tanktop at 10:23 AM - 8 answers

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