Questions in the Human Relations category.
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March 18
How to structure/approach this relationship conversation?
My partner has a personality quirk that I find tedious and offputting and it's beginning to damage my feelings for him. I'd like to have a conversation with him about it, but I'm inexperienced with relationship conversations and I don't know how to approach the subject in a tactful manner given that it seems like it could potentially stem from thorny feelings, as well as being perhaps related to his neurodivergence. The gist of it is that he has a constant tendency to brag and try and put himself above others. Some examples below the fold. [more inside]
March 17
I'm Basically My Friend's Only Friend, Feels Codependent. Advice?
My friend recently moved from City A to City B, and I haven't been to her new place. I steer clear of City B due mainly to crime and traffic, and have been clear with her about this before she even considered moving there. She told me last night that I'm basically her only friend at this point, and feels neglected because I haven't been able to meet up since starting my new (exhausting and busy) job. She works a few hours per week. I'm not interested in being someone's sole support system when they're capable of forming other relationships but are choosing not to. I feel this is an unhealthy dynamic, and am seeking advice in how to manage the situation. [more inside]
How much leeway to give to people's capacity to change?
The core of the question I want to ask today is - how have you approached connections with people who have ideas that you don't respect about things like gender and self-expression? Also; people who are snobby/juvenile? I suppose under that question is - how do you figure out when to stick it out with a connection and see if the person grows and changes? [more inside]
How to get along better when staying with family?
I'm temporarily living with my Aunt, but it's awkward..... snowflakes inside [more inside]
March 16
The conundrum of depression surrounding multiple friendships ending simu
At the ripe old age of 52 I've been through this scenario at least five separate times. I'm not sure when the death or slow fade is breaking my heart or my broken heart is what begins the slow fade...(continued) [more inside]
March 15
What do I send to a long-lost cousin to say I am thinking about her?
Due to immigration and displacement, I have family members all over Europe. My much younger adult cousin (who I have never met and lives in Germany) recently lost her father (my uncle) who I met only once as a very small child. [more inside]
March 14
Should I bother visiting a dying relative?
Sounds jerky, I know. My dad has a terminal illness and my family doesn't want me to visit. Should I take them at their word? Lots more details inside. [more inside]
Best/creative way to surprise spouse with a large cash gift?
I’m looking for fun ways to gift my wife between $100,000-$250,000. This will be surprise proceeds from the sale of an asset, mixed in with some inheritance sharing. Get creative! [more inside]
March 13
What is your go-to inspirational story?
What is your favourite inspirational story about a person who made the world a better place or did something extraordinary to help humanity? [more inside]
March 12
Help for elder being scammed
Wondering what steps should be taken for an elder family member who was recently scammed. [more inside]
Dog interaction confusion; please help me untangle the confusion.
I was recently dating someone who has a German Shepherd, Fido (name changed to protect Fido's privacy). It got weird, IMHO. I don't know what my question is, exactly. I guess it's, "Is this as weird as I think it is?" or "What the heck went on here and what was the meaning of it?" [more inside]
March 10
Google/Yelp reviews of businesses: how much do they matter?
Do you read reviews of businesses (such as restaurants or shops) before visiting? Do the reviews affect your experience and perception? Do you leave a review after visiting? [more inside]
What do Americans mean when they say someone is "classy" or "pure class"
It seems to be a compliment, something about good manners or something ... but what do people (mainly Americans) really mean when they say this?
March 8
I need permission to cut ties with a friend for good.
I have a longtime friend, Amber, who I have posted about here numerous times over the years. Things came to a head when I had my CT scan today, a followup one I'm really nervous, and I asked her for moral support, and didn't get it. [more inside]
Alcohol, friendship and compassionate boundaries
My close friend struggles with her drinking. I'm flying in to visit and stay with her for a week. I'm uncomfortable when she drinks in front of me for various reasons, but I don't know if bringing it up and/or gently suggesting she cut down a little while I'm there is unfair, controlling or counterproductive. Ideas on how to approach this? [more inside]
March 7
How do deal with this uncomfortable family/money conversation?
My brother summoned up a family convo because he is unhappy about a donation in cash my Mom gave me. I don't know how to approach it. [more inside]
How else do I say "Lazy, Provocative Persuasion"?
I'm looking for a term to describe how someone can talk about someone else's beliefs/ideology in a way that isn't outwardly provocative but seems to intend to quickly other, negate, and win support. It has an immature and antagonistic flavor. So what's a term for a style of speaking on a topic that promotes superiority of *this* perspective and encourages others to quickly choose *this* side?
Details inside. [more inside]
March 5
Saddling up
....So after ten years off the market, I'm starting to think about getting back in the dating scene again, mostly just for the fun and frolic. What is the best approach for me these days? (Given the complications inside.) [more inside]
March 3
How do I work on being less casually dismissive in conversation?
I’d love practical tips for noticing this when it happens more often and ways to reframe my responses to be more kind and open to what the other person is saying. [more inside]
Stopping unwanted contact from ex
My college ex-boyfriend continues to reach out every few years since we broke up. It's going on 15 years now. I don't want any contact with him and have remained silent. I want him to leave me alone. I am looking for suggestions to help stop the communication. [more inside]