Questions in the Human Relations category.
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May 27

Separation/Healing Separation - your experiences, advice

My partner of 12 years and I split 6 months ago, now were are deciding whether and how to heal our relationship or end it for good. We're considering a "healing separation" - your experiences? Longer details inside. [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? at 6:25 PM - 19 answers

May 26

Dating, immigration, and commitment

This is a question about problems I'm facing dating someone, featuring immigration woes and differing cultural attitudes that have us hurt and fighting with each other. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:19 PM - 60 answers

I feel angry when my partner talks about this specific topic. Help!

I love my boyfriend and think he's wonderful - but his family grew up privileged and when he talks about it in detail, I feel my temperature rising. How can I deal with this? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs at 1:26 PM - 25 answers

Great gift for graduating nephew - refugee edition

Need a great gift for my nephew who graduated from high school last week. Difficulty: need it today and it has to be awesome. [more inside]
posted by orsonet at 6:22 AM - 6 answers

Finding closure / Consulting assertive "friends"

(I apologize in advance for the long post) I was seeing a guy for about a month and everything was going well until some problems emerged. One main thing was my so-called friend expressed her negative opinion and it may have lead to our breakup. Although it's been sometime since it happened, Is it worth going back to fix? [more inside]
posted by enarcyot at 1:52 AM - 10 answers

May 25

i drove a guy away and am losing my mind obsessing over it

I ended a 5 month relationship with a guy who was on the fence about commitment, having recently gotten out of a LTR, and I'm now torturing myself with regret. i can't stop obsessively replaying what happened and thinking about what i should have done differently. [more inside]
posted by winsomesquid at 4:18 PM - 45 answers

Friendship valuation in Western culture?

Is there any kind of hard evidence that Americans (and possibly Europeans, though I'm less sure) value friendship less than in decades past? Family has always been cited as the most important value for Americans, but it seems increasingly common for people in committed relationships, and moreso those with children, to talk about friendships as a small "extra" rather than relationships that remain dynamic and a source of support. [more inside]
posted by Tess at 9:52 AM - 14 answers

Set my sexpectations

What are realistic expectations for a woman to have of a man in the bedroom? Is it reasonable to expect him to multitask? And what's the limit of "Just tell him what you want him to do"? NSFW details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:43 AM - 28 answers

Problems with social rejection

Today I noticed that when I get rejected by people I get depressed and negative about it. For example, I ask a friend if they want to hang out Tuesday and they say they can't make it. And then they don't provide a day that works for them or I have to ask them what day works for them. I know I have a problem with feeling that people don't like me if they don't explicitly say "Hey, I like spending time with you". Getting rejected feeds into this feeling. [more inside]
posted by starlybri at 6:11 AM - 11 answers

May 24

Grief, sullied by anger

One of my closest friends committed suicide, and left a shit storm for me to deal with. My emotions are a wreck. Can you help me navigate them? [more inside]
posted by Capri at 11:32 PM - 24 answers

How to accept friendship graciously?

I'm a 38 year old woman with debilitating social anxiety and trust issues. Yes, I'm in therapy, but maintaining friendships has been a lifelong problem for me. I was recently offered the sweetest gesture of friendship and I don't know how to respond. [more inside]
posted by Ruki at 2:22 PM - 21 answers

How to Respond to Nosy People?

I never want to answer a nosy question posed by a stranger again. I also don't want to feel badly for deflecting nosy questions, and I don't want to seem cold. I need help in accomplishing this [more inside]
posted by Avosunspin at 12:47 AM - 51 answers

May 23

How do I get over my insecurities?

My boyfriend has been with a great many women before. We've been together for some time now. Unfortunately I'm a curious cat and (with his full knowledge) I've read past emails, etc. And the things he said to them haunt me. I wonder if there is some realistic way to get over this. [more inside]
posted by miaow at 11:11 PM - 19 answers

No More Ashtons

I turned down a much younger man solely because of our age difference. Now he's dating a significantly older woman. How do I stop kicking myself over this? [more inside]
posted by ziggly at 10:16 PM - 6 answers

How do I deal with my boyfriend's masturbation habits?

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and it's been great... except this one thing that's been eating away at me but which also makes me feel ridiculous for being upset. His masturbation habits and knowing the exact real women that he jerked off to. [more inside]
posted by hexenkunst at 4:24 PM - 75 answers

Passive responses to passive-aggressive presents?

My great aunt, whom I've had no contact with for five years due to her response to my decision to leave my abusive home, sent me a graduation card and money. I'm getting very passive-aggressive vibes and would just ignore it, but feel like the amount of money I've received obligates me to respond. Backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by brook horse at 12:39 PM - 44 answers

May 22

Seeking: a functional way to navigate the storm that is unrequited love

Met a boy. FWB ensued, chatting every day, spending time together often. Fell for the boy. Asked if we could date. Boy says I'm 'good enough' but 'not right' for him to date. Still wants to talk to me every day. I want to believe I can move past the awkwardness and pain and foster an honest friendship. A small part wants to believe maybe I'll be 'right' someday, especially if I stick around. This sucks, this hurts. Where do I go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 8:57 PM - 57 answers

Should I take in my boyfriends cats?

I recently moved out of my parents home for the first time and into an apartment on my own. I've been looking at getting a cat and have been very excited to adopt. My boyfriend has 2 cats that he needs to find a home for, and asked me if I could watch them, indefinitely basically. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 at 4:01 PM - 19 answers

May 21

Help me feel less lonely during solitary tasks

Turning away from the Internet and doing a solitary task (like reading, journaling, or cleaning) makes me feel lonely. Help me feel more cozy and stimulated/supported during these times. [more inside]
posted by delight at 9:49 PM - 24 answers

Helping a friend whose spouse is dying

A friend of ours, "Jane", is dying of cancer, and in a terrible way (some details inside, CW). How can we best help her spouse, "George", who IMO also seems to be at risk for post-traumatic stress? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 10:36 AM - 4 answers

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