Questions in the Human Relations category.
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December 15

Partytime! Death threats!

Asking for a friend: How seriously to take a jealous ex-boyfriend's drunken threats of violence when you're the new guy? [more inside]
posted by elken at 8:38 AM - 26 answers

How do you get someone who likes you to stop harassing you?

My brother's too much for me to handle. How can I get him to stop calling and showing up so often? Simply telling him not to do it isn't working; he keeps coming up with dumb excuses for doing it. Though I hate the word 'creepy', what he's doing is what many would consider just that. And his behavior is almost stalker-like. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:26 AM - 22 answers

Can you fix bad habits or should I focus on one at a time?

I have a lot of bad habits, should I try to change one at a time or all at once? [more inside]
posted by akita at 2:12 AM - 13 answers

Never mix friends and business! Lesson learned.

On my recommendation, my husband hired an old friend of mine to design his website last year. She behaved quite unprofessionally, and I haven't talked to her since both because of that and because of physical distance (we'd had only sporadic contact since university). But I'd like to at least get in touch with her for the holidays, because I do miss her. Should I break the ice? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by Pieprz at 12:08 AM - 13 answers

December 14

Can an introvert fake charisma on stage?

I'm an introvert, and have made peace with that. Over the years, I've gotten much better at relaxing around people, but if I have to be honest with myself, I completely lack charisma. I'm in academia, which requires a lot of people-time: teaching, giving talks, and networking. How do I practice becoming a more engaging speaker? [more inside]
posted by redlines at 9:54 PM - 21 answers

How to escape the spiral of loneliness

How do carry on living in the world and trying to make connections when your lack of validation and friendships over all of your life has worn away at you so much it feels impossible? When you're so lonely and sad you need so much from other people that you're bound to frighten them off? I feel like I am turning into stone. [more inside]
posted by ninjablob at 3:28 PM - 14 answers

What do you call this situation

Sometimes people who hurt get angry at something or someone and then direct their anger at the person close to them in life, not the cause of the anger. I have seen it happen with my dad getting angry at my mom in his final days of cancer. What is it called if the person with the anger cannot help directing the anger at the one they love?
posted by bright77blue at 9:46 AM - 19 answers

Am I looking a gifthorse in the mouth?

I found the greatest guy when I wasn't even looking. But I'm not too long out of a relationship (10 months) where I think I really loved him (despite current man looking so much better on paper), intimacy is taking a while to grow and I just feel a bit wary and not sure I'm into him some of the time. It's been 3/4 months of dating but I'd now say we're firmly headed to relationship territory. But I don't want to stay and waste this person's time if he's not the one for me. I also don't want to throw away something which could be really special, and this person is special, but maybe I know that on paper but don't really appreciate it which doesn't seem like a good start to a relationship. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar at 7:18 AM - 7 answers

How will I know?

If it were someone else describing their marriage I would tell them to get a divorce. My brain screams this at me every time some new bullshit happens, almost every day. But the thought of our actual real-life relationship breaking up and going away, and him being out there in the world alone, makes me feel sick and sad. Does that mean we shouldn't get a divorce? What does it mean? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 6:05 AM - 40 answers

December 13

Made a mistake last night - how to improve the situation

I'm crushing hardcore on a co-worker. I've put him on a pedestal (he is genuinely a very nice, very great guy). I work in a tightly knit sales environment and have made a few close friends here. I struggle hard with depression, insecurities, loneliness, drug addiction, all kinds of issues. I've been obsessively thinking about this guy, fantasizing and re-playing any situations over and over again in my head. It's been bad. Yesterday, I went out with a bunch of people from work to the club, proceeded to get very wasted, and made a few terrible decisions. Can you help me mitigate them or offer me guidance? [more inside]
posted by rhythm_queen at 7:29 PM - 61 answers

Chuggers = charity muggers who hassle you in the street

What is the Miss Manners approved method for dealing with chuggers? [more inside]
posted by Solomon at 3:04 AM - 46 answers

December 12

My sister constantly asks me if I'm okay

I know she has my best in mind but she is constantly asking me if everything is okay. [more inside]
posted by eggs at 6:38 PM - 30 answers

How do I banish these bitter feelings?

Long story short - I'm getting married next September (Yey). I live in Canada but I'm originally from England so two of my Bridesmaids are English. One Bridesmaid, A, is my very best friend from growing up, we've known each other since we were 2. I travelled to England for her wedding a couple of years ago and there was never any question that she'd do the same for me. [more inside]
posted by JenThePro at 9:57 AM - 26 answers

I really am a people person. Really. But go away.

YANMT, but maybe you can help me figure out why I push away the very people I'd like to get to know better, both in romantic and platonic capacities. I'm asking as sort of a follow-up to this question but I really wanted help exploring that specific facet of things a little more deeply. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by marsbar77 at 7:28 AM - 10 answers

Don't know what to believe any more about my BF and incriminating emails

I am going through a major dilemma right now. I am not sure if I can continue with my relationship with my boyfriend, due to a very incriminating set of emails I saw in his inbox. My question is, do you think this is something to break up over? Or can I believe his story and give him the benefit of the doubt? See more details inside. [more inside]
posted by koolaidnovel at 7:05 AM - 49 answers

December 11

Is this what "goal accomplished" should feel like?

Hi Mefites, I just finished a huge project, and now I'm in this awful vacuum state… I've never had a baby but my friends joke it might be a postpartum thing… Please help me. It destroys me, it destroys my relationship with my SO. [more inside]
posted by OrangeCat at 4:54 PM - 22 answers

How did you get your child to sleep?

We have a 3 year old that doesn't sleep through the night yet. A good night is a single wakeup, a bad night is 3 or 4. I thought by the age of 2 they generally start to sleep consistently. Any pointers to get there? Is "crying it out" really the only option?
posted by aeighty at 9:37 AM - 27 answers

December 10

Attending the wedding of a friend against gay marriage

My boyfriend's wonderful, kind, generous sibling is getting married, hooray! But they think gay marriage is immoral, and as a queer person with many queer friends I don't know what to do now. [more inside]
posted by schroedinger at 4:56 PM - 31 answers

Does my obsessive worrying mean I was wrong to break up?

I am a 23 year old woman who recently broke up with my first serious girlfriend (32 yr old) whom I dated for 18 months. I cannot stop obsessing that it was the wrong decision even though there were many reasons why we wouldn't have worked. Is this normal or a sign I'm making a mistake? [more inside]
posted by gatsbyisgreat at 3:45 PM - 30 answers

Mental Health for a Teen in BFE

Apparently, my nephew witnessed a friend commit suicide and is now falling apart. I'm 2500 miles away and his parents don't seem motivated to get him some help. They live in the middle-of-nowhere. How can I get him hooked up with some help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 3:03 PM - 13 answers

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