Questions in the Human Relations category.
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January 12

Am I being unreasonable?

There's a recurring theme of frustration between my husband and I and I don't know how to tell if I have unrealistic expectations, if I'm being unfair, or if this is actually OK to be frustrated about. Or how, practically, to start on making any of it better. [more inside]
posted by a sock with a monkey on it at 9:31 PM - 68 answers

Reluctant empty nester

My mother seems to be struggling with the idea of an empty nest and gets upset as I spend more time away from the family home? Details under the cut. [more inside]
posted by wineglass_bay at 5:45 PM - 16 answers

How do I make joint custody work?

I am in the process of getting divorced and I have two sons, ages 4 and 7. How do I make joint custody work most effectively for me and my kids? [more inside]
posted by notme at 12:21 PM - 30 answers

Help me/us get more comfortable with discrepancies in backgrounds?

Please help a political artsy girl and a guy from a rich background come to terms with each other's differences? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs at 6:17 AM - 14 answers

January 11

Do I break up with my business-mate, or ask him to clean a fifth time?

My friend and I are both acupuncturists. We have share a private studio in a commercial space. He is extremely pleasant, but has not cleaned once since we moved in 7 months ago. I've cleaned the space multiple times. I have asked him 4 times to take his turn, and together we came up with various systems to make sure it gets done, which he has ignored. [more inside]
posted by dreamsofhorses at 7:22 PM - 31 answers

I messed up big time in my relationship. Now what?

Long story short, I didn't fulfill a promise to help my fiance while he was under a lot of stress preparing for an extremely important presentation this morning. He is understandably very upset and disappointed in me. I feel terrible and have apologized repeatedly, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened in the first place and that this isn't the first time I've acted thoughtlessly and selfishly around him. How can we move past this? And how can I stop being so self-centered time and again? More inside. [more inside]
posted by st elmo's fire at 7:03 PM - 136 answers

Emotional Conflict Resolution

I need to learn Conflict Resolution with respect to romantic relationships. The book Getting to Yes by William Ury is cited as the classic text on Conflict Resolution. It may be outdated and not focused on emotional aspects however. What can you recommend, books or otherwise, as a direction for me? .
posted by falsedmitri at 1:43 PM - 16 answers

Do I have to attend a wedding if the bride hosted my engagement party?

Someone I used to be close with but haven't seen for over a year even though we live in the same metro area has sent a 'save the date' card. She voluntarily threw my husband and I a lovely wedding reception when we eloped 6 years ago. Am I obligated to go to her wedding because of this? Snowflake circumstances inside... [more inside]
posted by ShadePlant at 4:22 AM - 61 answers

January 10

Rebound or closure sex or...? Help me identify it

I find it difficult to break up with someone, so there's often a phase where I try to be 'platonic friends' but we go back to normal and then I try to break up again and repeat and repeat. At this point, the relationship is pretty bad for both me and the ex as we fight a lot but I simply cannot get over my feelings for the ex (is this codependency?). [more inside]
posted by thesockpuppet at 9:05 PM - 11 answers

How can I best try to reconcile my estranged sister with the family?

My sister is estranged from my parents and me. It’s been about 5 years since she’s been in touch with everyone, initially estranging herself from my mother, then my father. For about a year after that she was still in touch with me, but ceased contact when I refused a request I saw as an attempt to make me ‘take her side’ against our mother. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 2:11 AM - 55 answers

January 9

How does Disney deal with bad behavior in the parks?

Are there specific guidelines for how Disney employees should handle difficult patrons? I'm looking for responses to situations ranging from bratty kids all the way to hostage-taking. [more inside]
posted by amicamentis at 2:39 PM - 17 answers

How does the role of honorary aunt/uncle evolve during a child's life?

Parents of MetaFilter: What are some things you commonly find yourself wanting/needing from your friends when it comes to interacting with your children, especially as the kids get older? What are some of the most valuable things the long-term honorary aunts and uncles in your lives have done for the kids that has help them feel loved and supported growing up? [more inside]
posted by amnesia and magnets at 9:50 AM - 17 answers

Husband's Boss Throwing Us A Baby Shower Etiquette?

Yay, we are expecting twins in a few weeks! My wonderful husband's wonderful boss/coworkers want to throw us a small baby shower. I have questions. [more inside]
posted by Syllables at 9:45 AM - 13 answers

How can I cultivate intentional kindness & decency despite fear & anger?

Like many of you, I've been imbibing a heady emotional cocktail of fear and anger since the US election. I'm putting more time/effort/money toward opposing Trump's agenda and supporting progressive policies at the local level, and I'm working to stay on top of self-care (therapy, as-needed anti-anxiety meds, occasional spiritual counseling, sharing love & support with family/friends, closing the fucking tab when I need to). Here's where I'm concerned: I think it's important to maintain the capacity for moral outrage in the face of injustice. However, I worry about turning into an "angry person." [more inside]
posted by duffell at 8:25 AM - 14 answers

How did you get to a place of healthy, honest, open dialogue?

How did you get to a place of honest, open dialogue re: conflicts and disagreements within your relationship, especially if you have a fear of confrontation/fear of anger/history of abuse (assume no current/past abuse in the relationship)? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 5:13 AM - 10 answers

January 8

Is grinding inherently sexual?

How common is it for people to view grinding as just another type of dancing? For people who do view it as just dancing what is the etiquette given that many people view it sexually? At what point would you then be obligated to make clear that you aren't expressing any sexual interest and are just dancing around and having fun? [more inside]
posted by aaabbbccc at 10:30 PM - 16 answers

Emotional unpacking list

Exciting and wonderful things are happening in my romantic life. I'm also depressed in a way that changes how well I feel emotion. In building a daily habit of meditation and reflection, what questions can I ask myself to make sure I'm staying honest with myself? [more inside]
posted by itesser at 3:31 PM - 7 answers

Middle-aged Online Dating -- Any Specific Tips?

So, I'm a straight cis woman with two teenage kids, and I found myself unexpectedly single last spring. I'd been married for nineteen years, which means that I've had no experience at all with online dating. I'm 45, which feels incredibly old for putting myself out there. But (a) pretty much everyone single seems to date online, and (b) despite having a reasonably active social life with friends, I pretty much don't meet any single, roughly appropriate, men in real life, so online dating it is. So far, it's been going not traumatically badly, but not satisfyingly either. [more inside]
posted by LizardBreath at 2:42 PM - 13 answers

What are good ground rules to ask for as a condition for moving back in?

My depressed husband (previously) has been getting worse, culminating in two incidents this week that made me go stay at a family member's. What are some things I can ask for as a requirement before I move back in? [more inside]
posted by sockmeamadeus at 8:48 AM - 75 answers

January 7

Reality check

I need a reality check: am I unreasonable? If so, what should I do about it to fix myself (please don't suggest therapy, I genuinely don't have access to it). Have you faced or seen a similar relationship dynamic and if so, how was it handled? [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 11:31 PM - 48 answers

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