Questions in the Human Relations category.
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November 12

How do I navigate my relationship with my functional alcoholic mother?

This is a 2 part question & id appreciate help with both if possible. First, how this affects me personally, and second, how it is affecting me in the context of a romantic relationship. [more inside]
posted by Willow251 at 11:12 PM - 9 answers

Between a polyamorous rock and a monogamous hard place??

Should I give it a try or cut contact? [more inside]
posted by winterportage at 3:57 PM - 23 answers

What book should I give to an alt-righter?

I have a longtime friend who has always been a political contrarian - whatever the political majority is within the environment he resides in, he reacts against it. Last year however, he became enamored with the alt-right (Milo, Vox Day tier writers included) and I have become increasingly worried about his ideological tunnel vision. This is a person who I think of as smart and intellectually curious - but very stubborn. Is there an ideal book out there that might help to expand his worldview? [more inside]
posted by the_querulous_night at 8:44 AM - 15 answers

Divorce without friends

I am thinking about divorce. I won't go into the reasons now, I don't think they matter for this question. The thing that's holding me back most is that my spouse is my only friend. I have no other friends. [more inside]
posted by anonymous at 12:09 AM - 16 answers

November 11

Creepy-ass CL advert: cult in Texas?

Yeah, so I recently glanced through the rooms offered section of Craigslist and noticed one that was directly advertising to single parents and encouraging them to move to Dallas. The text was about 90% red flag and heavily implied that the group writing it was in a cult, but not necessarily in a way that made me think "obvious joke." It's CL, so grains of salt ahoy, but: is there a chance this is a serious ad? And if so, who the hell do I warn? [more inside]
posted by sciatrix at 7:48 PM - 14 answers

Is this how therapy is supposed to end?

I am wondering what experiences other people have had ending a relationship with a therapist. I recently decided to terminate my relationship with my therapist, and the experience has left me feeling pretty terrible. [more inside]
posted by PrincessCrouton at 6:23 PM - 15 answers

Tried and true resources on emergency coping skills?

So my life has had a big, ugly, bad change in the last 24 hours, for reasons that are unambiguously my fault, and I'm in the level of emotional crisis that makes people ask if you're safe being alone. (I am safe, no worries there - please assume this is true.) I need more ideas than I currently have about how to cope with this in a healthy way. What resources on emergency coping skills for big crises have worked for you and yours?
posted by centrifugal at 2:55 PM - 28 answers

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck--science edition!

I'd like to read a book along the lines of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, but something written by someone with professional credentials, like a psychiatrist, psychologist or neuroscientist, that draws upon current research. Any recommendations?
posted by mecran01 at 11:05 AM - 5 answers

Seeking balance in relationships

I realize more and more that by far, the majority of my relationship have not had balance. I want to change that. [more inside]
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 9:37 AM - 5 answers

November 10

Mommy Dearest

How do I continue my relationship with my mother? Wall below. [more inside]
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 10:22 AM - 16 answers

Getting better at emotional labor in friend/family relationships

MetaFilter, did you use to be a person who was bad at being thoughtful, proactive, and supportive in friendships, and now you are better at it? Tell me how you did it! Nota bene: I'm female and this is not a question about gendered labor. [more inside]
posted by robot cat at 9:46 AM - 12 answers

emotionally abused male?

I've seen Steven Stosny books recommended a few times on ask.mefi. As my marriage (19 years, male-female) continues to deteriorate, I'm trying to figure out if I'm being abusive, but also if my wife is being abusive. Stosny's books seem to be primarily written to women (at least based on Amazon descriptions.) Does anyone know of good resources, apart from therapy, for men that may be dealing with emotionally abusive spouses? Thanks.
posted by anonymous at 8:07 AM - 3 answers

being socially proactive with anxiety

How can I be proactive with social events when I have anxiety over rejection and don't want to bother people? [more inside]
posted by bearette at 6:33 AM - 5 answers

November 9

Conflicted about sex. What's your experience?

How old were you when you started thinking about sex? Snowflake inside. [more inside]
posted by Spiderwoman at 8:59 PM - 41 answers

How can I stop (or better manage) my crying episodes?

Recently, I've had more and more instances where some sort of a emotional or physical trigger makes me start to cry, which then often devolves into me sobbing, complete with borderline hyperventilation and difficulty speaking. How can I stop -- or better manage -- these crying episodes? [more inside]
posted by kylej at 7:37 PM - 6 answers

Is there anything concerning about this Tinder experience?

My friend's date suggested they rent a place in the city for two nights -- as their second date. I can't think of any specific concerns, but it's like nothing I've ever heard of. Two nights? Before they've even kissed? There's not some kind of well-known "Tinder Airbnb scam" I've never heard of, right? [more inside]
posted by a birds at 4:37 PM - 61 answers

NSFW: Help me stop touching my bf in my sleep.

The last two times my boyfriend has slept over, I have touched him sexually in my sleep. I have no memory of this. He isn’t bothered, but I am. Help me figure out how to stop doing this? [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl at 3:07 PM - 31 answers

Is there a polite way to specify how long relatives can stay with us?

I have family who like to visit (great!) but sometimes will stay for over a week. They never say specifically how long they'd like to stay. This may be a cultural thing, so maybe there is no correct answer to this, but if I would prefer someone not stay for longer than 3-4 days, how does one navigate this conversation? [more inside]
posted by neeta at 10:20 AM - 17 answers

books/resources about dealing with pathological liars

I just learned that my recent ex had been lying to me about various things, great and small. The behavior is definitely pathological but he doesn't have many of the typical narcissist traits I'd associate with this sort of abuse. I've dated a couple of people with similar issues. I'm interested in books/online resources for myself to try to understand this sort of personality problem and how to avoid entering a similar relationship in the future. more below. [more inside]
posted by Stellar Grey at 9:45 AM - 6 answers

I’ve always wanted to be a sperm donor.

My genetic traits seem just what the doctor ordered (no family history of cancer or mental illness, academically successful/high-IQ, good cheekbones, etc etc) with one glaring exception - I carry recessive Sickle Cell Anaemia. This means that I'm ineligible for sperm donation in the UK through the NHS system, which is heartbreaking, as that’s always been something I wanted to do. [more inside]
posted by piato at 7:00 AM - 14 answers

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