I am a man. I had an emotional affair with a friend - let’s call him James - whom I was very much in (unrequited) love with, and recently decided to "break up”. The long story is here.
Then I decided to start dating and recently met this person, let’s call him Fred, whom I like very much. The problem is that I am absolutely not over James, and we’ve even managed to re-establish contact, still very guarded at this point, although we have not yet met.
So I find myself in a quandary and wondering whether it’s fair to start something with Fred when my heart is really with James. I mean, I like Fred very much and could ever grow to love him. But I fear I may be just using them as a convenient toy while waiting for a James moment that will never come. And Fred is a nice enough person that I don’t want to play with him. But then, I also need company and intimacy and I like having him around and he seems to feel the same about me, and is prepared to wait for as long as it takes for me to be truly over James. [more inside] posted by Kwadeng at 9:35 AM - 26 answers
My almost-3-year-old is cute and delightful in all the typical ways. So, people smile and laugh when she says or does cute things. So what's the problem? The laughter makes her cry. [more inside] posted by barnoley at 9:00 AM - 31 answers
I have a neighbor who is mentally ill and his condition is not improving. He leaves trash on our street and parks his car in front of my house with his trash inside. His house is unfit to live in and I don't know what we can do to help. I'm afraid to approach him 'cause it's progressed to him barking and talking to himself. We live in suburbia and I need resources that can help him. posted by InterestedInKnowing at 8:11 AM - 19 answers
I met a chap in July, and am now entirely done with dating unless widowed early. I would probably benefit from advice on relationships that go through the usual relationship stages at a rapid pace. With kid in tow. Assume 'don't do that' is not going to happen. [more inside] posted by anonymous at 10:39 PM - 19 answers
I am trying to get an idea of how to document emotional abuse. My sister is in an abusive relationship and I am of the opinion that separation is not the worst idea.
I am at my wit's end trying to figure out what to do to help my sister. [more inside] posted by anonymous at 8:13 PM - 8 answers
I have a self deprecating sense of humour and I've come to realise that I can take it too far. I can sometimes play dumb and it gives the impression that I don't know what I'm doing/talking about. But at this point in my life/career, I do!! (in certain areas, I think). Help me change my wiring. [more inside] posted by scuza at 5:32 AM - 16 answers
I'm dealing with varying levels of resentment and bitchiness from people over my husband's job - the fact that to outsiders it seems glamorous/high status, and is well paid enough so I don't HAVE to work. It's getting me down because we move around all the time for his job so I don't really have a support network, just 'friends' who make sly nasty comments in emails/on my FB wall about my life. Any tips on dealing with the emotional/practical aspects of this welcome. [more inside] posted by everydayanewday at 11:18 PM - 39 answers
A close-ish friend and colleague of mine has started to show his true colors in the past few weeks with inflammatory statements on various social issues. I am disgusted, but I want to turn our conversations into learning opportunities. He's just now starting to realize that his beliefs are problematic and he's open to educating himself, but I don't even know where to start. [more inside] posted by chara at 4:29 PM - 21 answers
Is this a stupid question? Idk. I just got out of a 5 year relationship in May. I feel moved on from him but I'm still trying to put my life back together. And I don't want a relationship right now, bBut two guys have recently asked me out on dates. Idk what to say! I don't know very much about dating. I am 21. [more inside] posted by anon1129 at 1:54 PM - 15 answers
I am seeking mental health services. I've called my insurance and they've emailed me a list of 400+ covered providers - psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, LSWs, etc - currently accepting patients. That step has already made me feel a bit better. Could you please help me narrow it down a bit? [more inside] posted by pintapicasso at 10:17 AM - 10 answers
I'm debating letting my neighbors know that we can really hear their kids screaming, but I'm not sure if I should. Talk me into or out of it. [more inside] posted by juniperesque at 5:37 PM - 38 answers
About a year ago I joined a group that meets several times a month about spiritual topics. I was warmly welcomed and found great comfort in the group. However now, I am beginning to feel like the group is pretty much the same every meeting. I know Person X will talk about Thing X; Person Y will bring up Anecdote Y; etc. Should I quit? There's a twist... [more inside] posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 11:46 AM - 15 answers
I've been online for a long while, but I'm a novice in social media as a venue for promoting my hobby project. I've dismissed twitter and tumblr as things I don't understand or aren't for me, but I'd like to promote my hobby site and interact with people who like similar things. How do I go about balancing promotion with reception? Tell me about following, re-tweeting and re-tumbling things. Thanks! [more inside] posted by filthy light thief at 9:40 AM - 11 answers
I've noticed every so often (every few months?) i start thinking about my ex boyfriend i dated 2 years ago. Should i do anything about this? [more inside] posted by earthquakeglue at 10:14 PM - 17 answers