How to Get Better at Speed Dating
January 20, 2014 5:01 PM Subscribe
I've done speed dating before, with little to no success. I know the entire thing is very much a crapshoot, but are there any ways to make the most of it and potentially get a match?
posted by Puck Soppet to Human Relations (15 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
(Preface: I know online dating, specifically OKCupid, is highly recommended here on the green, and I have both considered it and done it. However, I have not had success with OKCupid as of late, and while I'm open to trying it again in future, I am not interested in trying it now. This question is strictly about speed dating. Thank you.)
I have done a few speed dating events over the years. All of them had a standard layout-- ten to fifteen dates lasting three to five minutes each. On occasion, there would be more women than men at the event, creating a gap. I'd meet the people, try to give my best first impression ever, and put down the names of everyone who I'd like to go on at least one date with and get to know better. I'd make an effort to be open and relax my standards a bit. Each time, I never got a match, even though on some occasions I'd put down, like, half the guys there.
I've signed up for another speed dating event in a few weeks. It's ten six-minute dates, with a mingling period both before and after as well as an after party at a nearby bar. It's going to be held at a bookstore, and is targeted towards people who love to read-- I'm a major bookworm. I've gotten (a little) better at mingling over the years, so my concern isn't really with that portion of the event or the afterparty.
What I am concerned with is the impression I'm giving off. I feel that if I've gone to that many speed dating events and haven't had any luck, maybe I'm the problem. First impressions are always hard, and I'm hopelessly awkward. I really don't have anyone else I can ask to see if I'm doing anything wrong. So, do any of you have any tips as to making a good first impression in a speed dating situation? How can I make the best of this?
Also related: I'm an administrative assistant at a state agency, and I'm in my mid-twenties. A lot of what we do at my workplace is confidential and so I really can't tell people about the nature of what we do. I really don't have any sort of long-term career plan right now. My job does a good job of paying the bills, and I'm satisfied with it right now. But when the question "What do you do?" comes up, I get a little uncomfortable answering. I don't want people to think that I don't have any ambition, or I have no plan, or I'm stupid. I don't know. I'm not phrasing it really well. (BTW, I meant no offense to other admin assistants.) But is there another way I can answer the job question when it comes up? Like, a nicer way to say "administrative assistant"?
Thank you all in advance.