1504 Ask MetaFilter answers by callmejay (displaying 101 through 150)
Depressed, unmotivated, disgusted with myself. Suspended for a year from college. Need some structure in my life but can't hold a job. Can you help?
comment posted at 1:58 PM on Nov-8-12
How to establish emotional boundaries but still help depressed friend?
comment posted at 8:39 AM on Oct-23-12
I feel a calling to learn more about my religious faith and lead a more spiritual life. How can I do this in a meaningful way when my partner does not share this interest?
comment posted at 1:27 PM on Oct-22-12
Ulnar nerve anterior transposition surgery experiences. Have one? Please share!
comment posted at 10:13 AM on Oct-18-12
So let me explain my situation, I'm a junior in high school, almost 17, and am starting to think about the future. I have found my passion, building. I'm taking a shop class, and I freaking LOVE it. I used to be at the top of my class, and then I started doing very bad in high school, not sure what happened. It became like a confidence spiral where I wouldn't do something cause it was hard (laziness), get behind, miss more, etc etc. Fast forward 2 years. I took shop, where I became good friends with the teacher, have 100% in it, make amazing things, and absolutely love it. I only have it every other day, and its all I look forward to. I think it's what I would like to do for the rest of my life.
comment posted at 9:55 AM on Oct-5-12
What’s the best, scientifically-supported mindset for success, resilience, confidence, and rebounding from stress and failure?
comment posted at 8:49 AM on Oct-3-12
YANMD, I know, but my doctor hasn't been very helpful, so I figured I'd try asking the hivemind.
comment posted at 7:23 AM on Oct-1-12
What "games" do you play to boost your mood or help you see things in a different light?
comment posted at 9:23 AM on Sep-30-12
What is the equivalent of "John Doe" in other languages?
comment posted at 6:01 PM on Sep-14-12
What one book could pretty much give me a new, useful superpower if I follow it and put the methods inside into practice? In my life, I've come across a small handful of books that have really allowed me to learn to do some things that were previously unthinkable to me, and which I'm able to use all the time in my life. I'm most interested in a book that has actually worked to change your life, rather than one that seems like it would be good if you one day got around to following it. Thanks.
comment posted at 8:43 AM on Sep-12-12
To-do questions on here often tell you to have a daily or weekly meeting with your boss. Please help me figure out how to make a list of tasks and projects so that I can do this and keep my head on straight and not get mired in anxiety-land.
comment posted at 8:57 AM on Sep-12-12
What are some good podcasts I can half pay attention to while working? While I love This American Life, The Moth, Story Collider and Radiolab, if I listen to them (or anything else with a storyline) while working, I lose the thread and can't concentrate on either the work or the podcast. A few that do work well for me: Savage Love, Jordan Jesse Go, WTF (to a lesser extent). Any suggestions?
comment posted at 9:41 AM on Sep-11-12
Can “modern” people actively believe in God? How do they integrate their believes with their “conservative” religion? How do they practice their believes?
comment posted at 10:43 AM on Sep-10-12
How to sound less overeducated?
comment posted at 11:18 AM on Sep-10-12
I can't think properly when people are looking at me! Please help.
comment posted at 8:51 AM on Sep-9-12
How can I encourage myself that it's okay to do something even if other people have done/experienced that very same thing?
comment posted at 9:56 AM on Aug-31-12
I recently discovered that I am well on my way to Type 2 diabetes. So I am taking the steps recommended by my docotor and everyone else: trying to lose weight, cut out sugar and simple carbs, etc. I am curious about cross-cultural recommendations for pre-diabetics. For example, perhaps some European countries seem to think that taking B vitamins can keep diabetes at bay? Or there is some folk wisdom that recommends using teaspoons of vinegar before (after?) meals to help regulate blood sugar? And yes, I realize that type 2 diabetes is much more common in the US than elsewhere. I'm hoping to steer this conversation away from "Americans are lazy gluttons" and more toward "here are some potentially helpful things to do that an American doctor wouldn't know to mention."
comment posted at 8:17 AM on Aug-23-12
comment posted at 8:17 AM on Aug-23-12
How do I deal with an oversensitive, constantly negative friend? I am the only "real friend" X has, so I don't feel comfortable totally breaking off the friendship, but interacting with X frequently leaves me wanting to scream.
comment posted at 11:50 AM on Aug-20-12
I agreed many years ago with my wife that our children would be raised Christian. I am not Christian, nor have I ever been. I was raised as a Unitarian Universalist and am now an agnostic and secular person. How should I respond to religious questions that my kids ask me? I don't want to go back on our agreement, but I also need to be true to myself and don't want to lie to the kids.
comment posted at 12:42 PM on Aug-8-12
My partner sometimes speaks or writes to me in the imperative mood ("Do this, then do that." "Take the car to the shop.") It is an issue because I feel she is speaking to the staff, and I am not the staff. I have objected to this behavior continuously over several years. We are in couples' counseling, but it does not seem to be working. We're apparently at an impasse.
comment posted at 9:38 AM on Aug-7-12
I sort of lost it at a semi-work function. Should I apologize to my colleagues who were present? We work in the web industry and were having a sort of day where we all get together in one room and fix bugs, discuss new features, etc. Present were people from our company as well as other users of the software.
comment posted at 9:16 AM on Aug-6-12
Help me quit drinking without using AA
comment posted at 9:45 AM on Aug-3-12
I'm not sure what's wrong with me. If I don't have an entire bar of dark chocolate each day, I have what I guess is called a panic attack. Details within.
comment posted at 6:33 AM on Aug-2-12
Over the last few months I've noticed some heavily pornographic search terms popping up in the household computers' drop-down histories, but I cannot figure out who or what is responsible. Help me figure this out before it's too late? (NSFW language)
comment posted at 7:17 AM on Jul-30-12
Can't afford to buy software. Seeking free windows software programs (any programs!) that are as good or better than their for-cost counterparts. What can you recommend?
comment posted at 9:33 AM on Jul-24-12
Appropriate gift for an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah, preferably something that can be easily purchased and shipped from western Europe?
comment posted at 10:59 AM on Jul-23-12
I know I need psychiatric therapy, but why can't I bring myself to get it? How do I motivate myself to heal myself?
comment posted at 9:41 AM on Jul-23-12
I'm a programming intern. I probably suck at my job. My boss hasn't noticed yet. How can I get better before it blows up in my face?
comment posted at 9:57 AM on Jul-20-12
It's not parasites, IBD/Crohn's, or celiac - but the doctors have found no other explanation for this severe intestinal pain and chronic constipation than "IBS". Low HDL, metabolic syndrome. Gluten still seems to be a culprit - is this even possible?
comment posted at 5:28 PM on Jul-16-12
Why am I always uncomfortable around people? What the hell is wrong with me, mentally? *Warning* LONG LONG LONG READ, but probably interesting?*
comment posted at 9:31 AM on Jul-16-12
How can I stop eating when I'm not hungry?
comment posted at 10:11 AM on Jul-10-12
What are the best resources to learn breathing and pranayama? More details inside
comment posted at 11:57 AM on Jul-8-12
Where can one play good online poker with real players (or a program w/*really* good AI with weaknesses and styles)? Not for cash - just for practice. Ipad app or website fine. *Not* just Texas Hold'em/7 card stud, but finishing off the HORSE class and beyond (Hi/Lo Omaha, Hi/Lo 7 card stud, Razz). Don't want scummy spyware or to have to give credit card info.
comment posted at 6:33 PM on Jul-2-12
How can I stop comparing myself to other people?
comment posted at 5:43 PM on Jul-1-12
I'm looking for an Android app with a widget that displays on the home screen and will show me if one or more notes exists in the notepad.
comment posted at 4:05 PM on Jun-30-12
comment posted at 7:34 PM on Jun-30-12
I'm a programmer, and I want to create a static website to host my stories.
comment posted at 7:35 PM on Jun-30-12
Films of the Bourne Triloy genre?
comment posted at 6:59 AM on Jun-27-12
It seems like a lot of what psychologists do is provide tools for processing troublesome beliefs, experiences, etc. in a healthy way. Are there books that the hive mind would recommend that teach some of these tools to non-psychologists for the purpose of being able to use these techniques in their own lives? I've envisioning something less dense than a college textbook but more rigorous than a walk through the self-help section at a bookstore. Recommendations are welcome for general techniques/tools as well as topically oriented works, such as books focused on techniques specific for relationships, money problems, or other common sources of stress and conflict.
comment posted at 9:53 AM on Jun-22-12
If I lie (a very big lie), can I ever redeem myself?
comment posted at 4:41 PM on Jun-15-12
Asking for a friend. 2 years ago she lost 8 stone in weight through diet and exercise. She has maintained for a year using WeightWatchers and walking at least 100 miles a month plus cross trainer three times a week and some weights and crunches. Now she must have a serious operation which will leave her immobile in hospital for 2 weeks, immobile at home for 6 weeks, then gradually regaining mobility. Serious immobility, think skin graft type immobility. On the lower half of her body. She is desperate not to gain weight but there is not much support from the NHS etc. Has anyone been in this situation and managed not to gain too much?
comment posted at 7:58 AM on Jun-6-12
Part of my family was butchered by communists in their country of origin. How do I keep from worrying about civil unrest in America, particularly over economic inequality? How valid are these fears?
comment posted at 7:05 AM on Jun-4-12
comment posted at 7:07 AM on Jun-4-12
Why did my depression go away immediately after I finally started moving towards treating it? Why did it come back? Is this something that's normal when you're trying to treat depression?
comment posted at 5:20 PM on Jun-3-12
How can I learn to like cooking?
comment posted at 3:21 PM on May-29-12
My husband has been accepted to med school in Buffalo and Syracuse. We have to pick one by tomorrow (!) and pros and cons are overwhelming. Which would be the best choice for our family?
comment posted at 3:31 PM on May-29-12
High-fat low-carb diets for diabetics?
comment posted at 7:32 AM on May-28-12
Lowering carbs as a vegetarian with many diet limitations – this seems impossible and I'd love to hear how you navigate it.
comment posted at 12:54 PM on May-17-12
End of junior year in college, biology major, low GPA, just feel miserable. Is there any hope left for me?
comment posted at 1:00 PM on May-17-12
comment posted at 1:58 PM on Nov-8-12
How to establish emotional boundaries but still help depressed friend?
comment posted at 8:39 AM on Oct-23-12
I feel a calling to learn more about my religious faith and lead a more spiritual life. How can I do this in a meaningful way when my partner does not share this interest?
comment posted at 1:27 PM on Oct-22-12
Ulnar nerve anterior transposition surgery experiences. Have one? Please share!
comment posted at 10:13 AM on Oct-18-12
So let me explain my situation, I'm a junior in high school, almost 17, and am starting to think about the future. I have found my passion, building. I'm taking a shop class, and I freaking LOVE it. I used to be at the top of my class, and then I started doing very bad in high school, not sure what happened. It became like a confidence spiral where I wouldn't do something cause it was hard (laziness), get behind, miss more, etc etc. Fast forward 2 years. I took shop, where I became good friends with the teacher, have 100% in it, make amazing things, and absolutely love it. I only have it every other day, and its all I look forward to. I think it's what I would like to do for the rest of my life.
comment posted at 9:55 AM on Oct-5-12
What’s the best, scientifically-supported mindset for success, resilience, confidence, and rebounding from stress and failure?
comment posted at 8:49 AM on Oct-3-12
YANMD, I know, but my doctor hasn't been very helpful, so I figured I'd try asking the hivemind.
comment posted at 7:23 AM on Oct-1-12
What "games" do you play to boost your mood or help you see things in a different light?
comment posted at 9:23 AM on Sep-30-12
What is the equivalent of "John Doe" in other languages?
comment posted at 6:01 PM on Sep-14-12
What one book could pretty much give me a new, useful superpower if I follow it and put the methods inside into practice? In my life, I've come across a small handful of books that have really allowed me to learn to do some things that were previously unthinkable to me, and which I'm able to use all the time in my life. I'm most interested in a book that has actually worked to change your life, rather than one that seems like it would be good if you one day got around to following it. Thanks.
comment posted at 8:43 AM on Sep-12-12
To-do questions on here often tell you to have a daily or weekly meeting with your boss. Please help me figure out how to make a list of tasks and projects so that I can do this and keep my head on straight and not get mired in anxiety-land.
comment posted at 8:57 AM on Sep-12-12
What are some good podcasts I can half pay attention to while working? While I love This American Life, The Moth, Story Collider and Radiolab, if I listen to them (or anything else with a storyline) while working, I lose the thread and can't concentrate on either the work or the podcast. A few that do work well for me: Savage Love, Jordan Jesse Go, WTF (to a lesser extent). Any suggestions?
comment posted at 9:41 AM on Sep-11-12
Can “modern” people actively believe in God? How do they integrate their believes with their “conservative” religion? How do they practice their believes?
comment posted at 10:43 AM on Sep-10-12
How to sound less overeducated?
comment posted at 11:18 AM on Sep-10-12
I can't think properly when people are looking at me! Please help.
comment posted at 8:51 AM on Sep-9-12
How can I encourage myself that it's okay to do something even if other people have done/experienced that very same thing?
comment posted at 9:56 AM on Aug-31-12
I recently discovered that I am well on my way to Type 2 diabetes. So I am taking the steps recommended by my docotor and everyone else: trying to lose weight, cut out sugar and simple carbs, etc. I am curious about cross-cultural recommendations for pre-diabetics. For example, perhaps some European countries seem to think that taking B vitamins can keep diabetes at bay? Or there is some folk wisdom that recommends using teaspoons of vinegar before (after?) meals to help regulate blood sugar? And yes, I realize that type 2 diabetes is much more common in the US than elsewhere. I'm hoping to steer this conversation away from "Americans are lazy gluttons" and more toward "here are some potentially helpful things to do that an American doctor wouldn't know to mention."
comment posted at 8:17 AM on Aug-23-12
comment posted at 8:17 AM on Aug-23-12
How do I deal with an oversensitive, constantly negative friend? I am the only "real friend" X has, so I don't feel comfortable totally breaking off the friendship, but interacting with X frequently leaves me wanting to scream.
comment posted at 11:50 AM on Aug-20-12
I agreed many years ago with my wife that our children would be raised Christian. I am not Christian, nor have I ever been. I was raised as a Unitarian Universalist and am now an agnostic and secular person. How should I respond to religious questions that my kids ask me? I don't want to go back on our agreement, but I also need to be true to myself and don't want to lie to the kids.
comment posted at 12:42 PM on Aug-8-12
My partner sometimes speaks or writes to me in the imperative mood ("Do this, then do that." "Take the car to the shop.") It is an issue because I feel she is speaking to the staff, and I am not the staff. I have objected to this behavior continuously over several years. We are in couples' counseling, but it does not seem to be working. We're apparently at an impasse.
comment posted at 9:38 AM on Aug-7-12
I sort of lost it at a semi-work function. Should I apologize to my colleagues who were present? We work in the web industry and were having a sort of day where we all get together in one room and fix bugs, discuss new features, etc. Present were people from our company as well as other users of the software.
comment posted at 9:16 AM on Aug-6-12
Help me quit drinking without using AA
comment posted at 9:45 AM on Aug-3-12
I'm not sure what's wrong with me. If I don't have an entire bar of dark chocolate each day, I have what I guess is called a panic attack. Details within.
comment posted at 6:33 AM on Aug-2-12
Over the last few months I've noticed some heavily pornographic search terms popping up in the household computers' drop-down histories, but I cannot figure out who or what is responsible. Help me figure this out before it's too late? (NSFW language)
comment posted at 7:17 AM on Jul-30-12
Can't afford to buy software. Seeking free windows software programs (any programs!) that are as good or better than their for-cost counterparts. What can you recommend?
comment posted at 9:33 AM on Jul-24-12
Appropriate gift for an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah, preferably something that can be easily purchased and shipped from western Europe?
comment posted at 10:59 AM on Jul-23-12
I know I need psychiatric therapy, but why can't I bring myself to get it? How do I motivate myself to heal myself?
comment posted at 9:41 AM on Jul-23-12
I'm a programming intern. I probably suck at my job. My boss hasn't noticed yet. How can I get better before it blows up in my face?
comment posted at 9:57 AM on Jul-20-12
It's not parasites, IBD/Crohn's, or celiac - but the doctors have found no other explanation for this severe intestinal pain and chronic constipation than "IBS". Low HDL, metabolic syndrome. Gluten still seems to be a culprit - is this even possible?
comment posted at 5:28 PM on Jul-16-12
Why am I always uncomfortable around people? What the hell is wrong with me, mentally? *Warning* LONG LONG LONG READ, but probably interesting?*
comment posted at 9:31 AM on Jul-16-12
How can I stop eating when I'm not hungry?
comment posted at 10:11 AM on Jul-10-12
What are the best resources to learn breathing and pranayama? More details inside
comment posted at 11:57 AM on Jul-8-12
Where can one play good online poker with real players (or a program w/*really* good AI with weaknesses and styles)? Not for cash - just for practice. Ipad app or website fine. *Not* just Texas Hold'em/7 card stud, but finishing off the HORSE class and beyond (Hi/Lo Omaha, Hi/Lo 7 card stud, Razz). Don't want scummy spyware or to have to give credit card info.
comment posted at 6:33 PM on Jul-2-12
How can I stop comparing myself to other people?
comment posted at 5:43 PM on Jul-1-12
I'm looking for an Android app with a widget that displays on the home screen and will show me if one or more notes exists in the notepad.
comment posted at 4:05 PM on Jun-30-12
comment posted at 7:34 PM on Jun-30-12
I'm a programmer, and I want to create a static website to host my stories.
comment posted at 7:35 PM on Jun-30-12
Films of the Bourne Triloy genre?
comment posted at 6:59 AM on Jun-27-12
It seems like a lot of what psychologists do is provide tools for processing troublesome beliefs, experiences, etc. in a healthy way. Are there books that the hive mind would recommend that teach some of these tools to non-psychologists for the purpose of being able to use these techniques in their own lives? I've envisioning something less dense than a college textbook but more rigorous than a walk through the self-help section at a bookstore. Recommendations are welcome for general techniques/tools as well as topically oriented works, such as books focused on techniques specific for relationships, money problems, or other common sources of stress and conflict.
comment posted at 9:53 AM on Jun-22-12
If I lie (a very big lie), can I ever redeem myself?
comment posted at 4:41 PM on Jun-15-12
Asking for a friend. 2 years ago she lost 8 stone in weight through diet and exercise. She has maintained for a year using WeightWatchers and walking at least 100 miles a month plus cross trainer three times a week and some weights and crunches. Now she must have a serious operation which will leave her immobile in hospital for 2 weeks, immobile at home for 6 weeks, then gradually regaining mobility. Serious immobility, think skin graft type immobility. On the lower half of her body. She is desperate not to gain weight but there is not much support from the NHS etc. Has anyone been in this situation and managed not to gain too much?
comment posted at 7:58 AM on Jun-6-12
Part of my family was butchered by communists in their country of origin. How do I keep from worrying about civil unrest in America, particularly over economic inequality? How valid are these fears?
comment posted at 7:05 AM on Jun-4-12
comment posted at 7:07 AM on Jun-4-12
Why did my depression go away immediately after I finally started moving towards treating it? Why did it come back? Is this something that's normal when you're trying to treat depression?
comment posted at 5:20 PM on Jun-3-12
How can I learn to like cooking?
comment posted at 3:21 PM on May-29-12
My husband has been accepted to med school in Buffalo and Syracuse. We have to pick one by tomorrow (!) and pros and cons are overwhelming. Which would be the best choice for our family?
comment posted at 3:31 PM on May-29-12
High-fat low-carb diets for diabetics?
comment posted at 7:32 AM on May-28-12
Lowering carbs as a vegetarian with many diet limitations – this seems impossible and I'd love to hear how you navigate it.
comment posted at 12:54 PM on May-17-12
End of junior year in college, biology major, low GPA, just feel miserable. Is there any hope left for me?
comment posted at 1:00 PM on May-17-12
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