1504 Ask MetaFilter answers by callmejay (displaying 51 through 100)
Soon-to-be-metal-mouth needs your best soup recipes, stat. They also need to be paleo-friendly (no dairy, no grains, no processed sugars) and I would really prefer they be easy/quick!
comment posted at 3:15 PM on Sep-15-14
I'm looking for good, professional videos that describe the techniques of CBT for laypeople. Basically, a visual version of a CBT self-help book. I've searched YouTube and the videos are either light on technique and/or have a creepy narrator. I think my friend could benefit from it, but he needs an introduction to it first. Second choice would be a workshop where the techniques are covered. Any suggestions?
comment posted at 11:41 AM on Aug-19-14
It's been 32 year since they immigrated to this country, but pretty much the one and only thing my family ever talks about is the home country, and it drives me crazy. I can't change them, but I could probably handle it better. Details and the plea for help within.
comment posted at 1:14 PM on Aug-19-14
YANMTrainer, YANMDoctor, etc. I've been part of a fitness bootcamp for more than a year. We do pretty intense one-hour workouts - a ton of stairstepping, jumping, sprinting, uphill sprints - 2 or 3 times a week. Even after a year, I am ALWAYS uncomfortably sore for multiple days after a workout. Which means I am always sore - usually in my calves and hamstrings, and so tired that I don't want to do any other physical activity. This isn't normal, is it?
comment posted at 11:14 AM on Feb-17-14
I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry.
comment posted at 5:13 PM on Jan-27-14
After years of stomach issues I believe I have found the one food that makes me do a #2 once a day like a normal person. I assume I should talk to a dietician in order to get more information about this success, and to get further recommendations on a long-term diet plan. But is there some sub-specialty of dietician that deals only with these types of digestive issues I should be speaking with?
comment posted at 9:11 PM on Jan-27-14
How would I go about programming a map which would fill-in an area with color when a question was answered correctly?
comment posted at 12:48 PM on Oct-21-13
My job requires me to work away often with female colleagues. My girlfriend gets quite jealous and we argue if she knows I am away with girls. I have in the past confided in detail with one female colleague about problems in my relationship and I think this is where the aggravation comes from. There has never been anything romantic. To avoid an argument while I'm on the road I've started lying to my girlfriend about who is on these trips. So as far as she knows I only go away with men. So my question. Is it okay to lie to your partner if it saves stress and worry for both parties? Examples of similar situations would be useful...
comment posted at 12:42 PM on Oct-7-13
I've been doing Jillian Michaels Body Revolution for the past couple months and my back has gotten progressively worse during Phase II to the point I'm now regressing and can't do exercises I previously could. What do I need to be doing differently to protect my back?
comment posted at 5:11 AM on Aug-6-13
What are the best ways for a Texas Holdem enthusiast to play online poker in the U.S. these days?
comment posted at 5:04 PM on Aug-2-13
Developers (and other professionals with too much to learn) - how do you keep everything straight? How do you stay organized? How do you deal with really steep learning curves?
comment posted at 11:52 AM on Jul-31-13
To what extent should someone question their ability to fall in love after enduring countless "lukewarm" relationships?
comment posted at 12:57 PM on Jul-24-13
I'm working on a group project that involves the group doing a lot of review and critique of each other's work before it becomes the final product. A coworker is not taking the criticism well and I'm trying to understand what is the best way for *me* to handle this and also what is reasonable for me to expect from the coworker.
comment posted at 12:05 PM on Jul-2-13
What strategies do people have to deal with casual bigots when the situation mandates basic politeness?
comment posted at 10:03 AM on Jun-28-13
I am looking for good sneakers to wear while exercising. I have high arches, small (size 6 women's) wide feet, and all the shoes I've tried don't stop the pain when I do lunges, jumping jacks, or yoga poses where I stand on one foot.
comment posted at 10:04 AM on Jun-28-13
I have an award-winning talent I have no interest in pursuing, do you?
comment posted at 9:22 AM on Jun-11-13
I cut out refined sugar for a week, and the results to my body have been rapid and dramatic. What could be metabolically going on here?
comment posted at 6:11 PM on Jun-3-13
comment posted at 6:12 PM on Jun-3-13
I love listening to podcasts. I like to think of my ipod as a pocket radio. I just recently discovered a Food Activist/ author Bryant Terry, and his interviews are amazing. But, when i did a search on Itunes, I found barely anything thing there, so I spent a lot of time combing google. I know that there has got to be some site where I can go to find podcasts. Also, there are great things on youtube, I wonder if I could get/rip? those videos to play on my nano somehow when I do not have wifi access. Also can you suggest podcasts for me?
comment posted at 4:59 PM on May-14-13
I was recently diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome and I am having a very difficult time dealing with it. I am only 27. Basically tingling in my hands and a tension in my shoulders that does not go away. My blood gets rather restricted and my shoulders tire easily when they are raised above my head, which clued in the doctor to the TOS. At first the doctor thought it might just be a pinched nerve or a hernia but it is occurring on both sides of my body particularly on the palm and in the shoulders. I am living in Japan right now and one of my best friends here just went home to Ireland so I have no one really close to talk to, and thus am dealing with a bunch of stress as well. I am also taking days off of work since the fact that the condition has been steadily getting worse since February is really bringing down my spirits.
comment posted at 5:05 PM on May-14-13
I had a phone interview last week that I thought I bombed. But, apparently I did good enough to land an in-person interview on Thursday. I'd like some advice on where in between "Fake it till you make it" and "lay your cards on the table" I should be. Details inside.
comment posted at 1:03 PM on Apr-29-13
I don't think we've heard our wedding song yet, maybe you have?
comment posted at 12:35 PM on Apr-23-13
I was born in a very, very devout Christian family. Went to Christian schools and church. For a long time my faith was the most important thing to me and then as I started getting older (18) I began to doubt. This doubt only increased to the point that by the time I was 25 or 26 (I'm 33 now) I became"atheist". Now, I see that faith played a very important role in emotionally stabilizing me and giving me hope and I want something like that back. My question is why did I lose my faith (when all my family still holds it dear)? And how do I find something equally as helpful in my life? Thank you so much!
comment posted at 8:53 AM on Apr-23-13
comment posted at 8:59 AM on Apr-23-13
How do you keep your back, neck and shoulders relaxed?
comment posted at 8:34 AM on Apr-15-13
I'm pretty much useless at everything but have been gainfully employed as a coder for 15 years. Quite frankly I'd just like to do nothing. What do you suggest?
comment posted at 4:03 PM on Apr-12-13
Do you have faith in your therapist's sense of certainty?
comment posted at 9:46 AM on Apr-1-13
I am a scientifically-minded person who is trying to sort out my religious beliefs. I think it would be helpful to read some debates between deism, atheism, pantheism (Spinozism), and/or a scientifically-grounded theism. Can anyone recommend me books or essays that discuss these topics in ways that are engaging, well-thought-out, and thorough?
comment posted at 9:52 AM on Mar-19-13
I recently finished a lengthy project. I thought I did really well, and nothing indicated during the process that there was anything wrong. But I just got my review and it was poor. I feel like dying. Basically, when you've really fucked up and got no-one else to blame for it than your own incompetence, how do you shake it off and go on with your life?
comment posted at 7:33 AM on Mar-15-13
My wife wants to take our 9 month old to the chiropractor to have his ear manipulated to address ear infections. From what I understand, this would involve tugging/manipulating the ear itself, and not the C-spine. Hope me with science?
comment posted at 1:04 PM on Mar-11-13
How often should I expect to not click with someone? How often should I expect to not hear from the person again?
comment posted at 9:07 AM on Mar-11-13
I feel that since older, attractive, successful guys get so much love already, I shouldn't like them. It just feels unfair, so much so that I try to deny my feelings and COMPENSATE by liking the opposite. This has terrible results. How do I stop thinking like this?
comment posted at 8:25 AM on Mar-7-13
Due to unexpected circumstances, I'll need to find a new day care for my son within the next 6 months. He'll be 2 at the end of May. The day care he is in now is beyond awesome and is NAEYC accredited, but will be closing at the end of August. I want to keep him in as long as possible, but know that I should probably get him on waiting lists ASAP.
comment posted at 11:18 AM on Mar-6-13
I find taking notes in my Computer Science classes challenging. Can you share with me your techniques for taking useful notes that are specifically helpful for CS courses?
comment posted at 8:39 AM on Feb-1-13
comment posted at 8:46 AM on Feb-1-13
I am grossly fat and very unhappy. I've already figured out how many calories I need to consume to lose weight and joined a gym and bought a scale (gross). I'm an emotional binge eater. How can I maintain my motivation?
comment posted at 9:04 AM on Feb-1-13
Only marijuana lets me be the person I want to be. But I don't want to be dependent on drugs just to function.
comment posted at 11:01 AM on Feb-1-13
Hey all. Posting my questions to this community has been very helpful. I'm thankful so far for the advice I've been getting. This question has to do with something I've been struggling with my whole adulthood. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in my teens, and since then it's really limited a lot of what I can do. It didn't help much that I married a very overbearing person when I was 19 who basically took over my life for me. I left him two years ago and I've been recovering from my depression thanks to medication and a lot of self help techniques. I've started exercising and eating right, and I've lost weight, which I'm happy about. My next goal is to become self sufficient. My work ethic needs help though because I have a lot of trouble getting things done. I believe it stems from all those years I spent in deep depression and not being able to take care of myself. I procrastinate out of being overwhelmed and fearful of outcomes. I wouldn't call it laziness. It's just tough for me to learn a new way of living. Any advice on how to deal with this and improve my work ethic? I believe it's due time I start getting out of my own way. Thank you MeFi community. :)
comment posted at 8:34 AM on Jan-25-13
I'm a little bit confused about whether oils (olive, etc.) are healthy, and in what quantities they belong in a balanced diet (given their high caloric content). Should I be aiming to add them into my diet (pour a couple of spoonfuls over salad, or cook with them), or should I be aiming to avoid them, substituting other things in their place and largely or entirely forgoing them. What nutrients or other benefits do they offer my body that other foods wouldn't, if any? If they are healthy, which are the healthiest? Which are the least healthy? Are some better for eating fresh and others better for cooking with? Help?
comment posted at 7:23 PM on Jan-1-13
I want suggestions for new skills to learn. What are the best and/or most practical skills that you have acquired in life? What did you find was worth really taking the time to master? I am equally interested in short and long term skill sets.
comment posted at 5:45 PM on Dec-27-12
Recommendations for therapists who are comfortable with atheist and materialist world views in the DC area?
comment posted at 6:31 PM on Dec-23-12
I take a nice 4-serving Thermos of tea to work every day. It keeps my tea nice and hot all day long. But my little tupperware of milk warms up after a couple of hours. I'd like to find a 4-ounce container that will keep my milk cool, can poor without dripping, and is OK to put dairy in (because according to my Thermos, it's dairy intolerant).
comment posted at 12:49 PM on Nov-30-12
I can't find a standard term used on websites to mean "impermanent link", but I need one.
comment posted at 4:55 PM on Nov-19-12
Is it possible to healthily gain and keep on 20-30 lbs without (regimented) exercise and while being on a low-carbohydrate diet?
comment posted at 10:11 AM on Nov-19-12
Mattress to prevent arm numbness for a stomach sleeper?
comment posted at 1:44 PM on Nov-14-12
Teach me how to sound pretty and mesmerizing!
comment posted at 10:55 AM on Nov-13-12
Women's self defense. I'm curious about things that can be done before you get to a point where you've got to physically defend yourself. In particular, I'd be interested in first hand experiences from women about how you avoid these situations and if you've ever had to fight someone off.
comment posted at 10:07 AM on Nov-13-12
I suck. I am not good enough, I don't work hard enough, I'm lazy, and there are a million things I should be doing better. CBT doesn't work because I can refute just about every positive attribute you throw at me. What is wrong with my thought process, why am I so stubbornly stuck in "Never Good Enough Land", and why can't I make this go away? A free association of what's going through my head after the jump.
comment posted at 10:32 AM on Nov-13-12
I have a fear of chemicals and microbes, and anything that might harm my health. Is it rational? If not, how do I get over it?
comment posted at 12:04 PM on Nov-8-12
Muscle/Fitness: Most of my life, I've noticed that I have tight I.T. Bands, or at least tightness in the side of my thighs. How can I relieve this tightness? Tried rolling, etc... not much help.
comment posted at 12:16 PM on Nov-8-12
comment posted at 3:15 PM on Sep-15-14
I'm looking for good, professional videos that describe the techniques of CBT for laypeople. Basically, a visual version of a CBT self-help book. I've searched YouTube and the videos are either light on technique and/or have a creepy narrator. I think my friend could benefit from it, but he needs an introduction to it first. Second choice would be a workshop where the techniques are covered. Any suggestions?
comment posted at 11:41 AM on Aug-19-14
It's been 32 year since they immigrated to this country, but pretty much the one and only thing my family ever talks about is the home country, and it drives me crazy. I can't change them, but I could probably handle it better. Details and the plea for help within.
comment posted at 1:14 PM on Aug-19-14
YANMTrainer, YANMDoctor, etc. I've been part of a fitness bootcamp for more than a year. We do pretty intense one-hour workouts - a ton of stairstepping, jumping, sprinting, uphill sprints - 2 or 3 times a week. Even after a year, I am ALWAYS uncomfortably sore for multiple days after a workout. Which means I am always sore - usually in my calves and hamstrings, and so tired that I don't want to do any other physical activity. This isn't normal, is it?
comment posted at 11:14 AM on Feb-17-14
I've decided to skip my brother's wedding, for very good reasons. Help me figure out how to talk to him about this - it gets long, sorry.
comment posted at 5:13 PM on Jan-27-14
After years of stomach issues I believe I have found the one food that makes me do a #2 once a day like a normal person. I assume I should talk to a dietician in order to get more information about this success, and to get further recommendations on a long-term diet plan. But is there some sub-specialty of dietician that deals only with these types of digestive issues I should be speaking with?
comment posted at 9:11 PM on Jan-27-14
How would I go about programming a map which would fill-in an area with color when a question was answered correctly?
comment posted at 12:48 PM on Oct-21-13
My job requires me to work away often with female colleagues. My girlfriend gets quite jealous and we argue if she knows I am away with girls. I have in the past confided in detail with one female colleague about problems in my relationship and I think this is where the aggravation comes from. There has never been anything romantic. To avoid an argument while I'm on the road I've started lying to my girlfriend about who is on these trips. So as far as she knows I only go away with men. So my question. Is it okay to lie to your partner if it saves stress and worry for both parties? Examples of similar situations would be useful...
comment posted at 12:42 PM on Oct-7-13
I've been doing Jillian Michaels Body Revolution for the past couple months and my back has gotten progressively worse during Phase II to the point I'm now regressing and can't do exercises I previously could. What do I need to be doing differently to protect my back?
comment posted at 5:11 AM on Aug-6-13
What are the best ways for a Texas Holdem enthusiast to play online poker in the U.S. these days?
comment posted at 5:04 PM on Aug-2-13
Developers (and other professionals with too much to learn) - how do you keep everything straight? How do you stay organized? How do you deal with really steep learning curves?
comment posted at 11:52 AM on Jul-31-13
To what extent should someone question their ability to fall in love after enduring countless "lukewarm" relationships?
comment posted at 12:57 PM on Jul-24-13
I'm working on a group project that involves the group doing a lot of review and critique of each other's work before it becomes the final product. A coworker is not taking the criticism well and I'm trying to understand what is the best way for *me* to handle this and also what is reasonable for me to expect from the coworker.
comment posted at 12:05 PM on Jul-2-13
What strategies do people have to deal with casual bigots when the situation mandates basic politeness?
comment posted at 10:03 AM on Jun-28-13
I am looking for good sneakers to wear while exercising. I have high arches, small (size 6 women's) wide feet, and all the shoes I've tried don't stop the pain when I do lunges, jumping jacks, or yoga poses where I stand on one foot.
comment posted at 10:04 AM on Jun-28-13
I have an award-winning talent I have no interest in pursuing, do you?
comment posted at 9:22 AM on Jun-11-13
I cut out refined sugar for a week, and the results to my body have been rapid and dramatic. What could be metabolically going on here?
comment posted at 6:11 PM on Jun-3-13
comment posted at 6:12 PM on Jun-3-13
I love listening to podcasts. I like to think of my ipod as a pocket radio. I just recently discovered a Food Activist/ author Bryant Terry, and his interviews are amazing. But, when i did a search on Itunes, I found barely anything thing there, so I spent a lot of time combing google. I know that there has got to be some site where I can go to find podcasts. Also, there are great things on youtube, I wonder if I could get/rip? those videos to play on my nano somehow when I do not have wifi access. Also can you suggest podcasts for me?
comment posted at 4:59 PM on May-14-13
I was recently diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome and I am having a very difficult time dealing with it. I am only 27. Basically tingling in my hands and a tension in my shoulders that does not go away. My blood gets rather restricted and my shoulders tire easily when they are raised above my head, which clued in the doctor to the TOS. At first the doctor thought it might just be a pinched nerve or a hernia but it is occurring on both sides of my body particularly on the palm and in the shoulders. I am living in Japan right now and one of my best friends here just went home to Ireland so I have no one really close to talk to, and thus am dealing with a bunch of stress as well. I am also taking days off of work since the fact that the condition has been steadily getting worse since February is really bringing down my spirits.
comment posted at 5:05 PM on May-14-13
I had a phone interview last week that I thought I bombed. But, apparently I did good enough to land an in-person interview on Thursday. I'd like some advice on where in between "Fake it till you make it" and "lay your cards on the table" I should be. Details inside.
comment posted at 1:03 PM on Apr-29-13
I don't think we've heard our wedding song yet, maybe you have?
comment posted at 12:35 PM on Apr-23-13
I was born in a very, very devout Christian family. Went to Christian schools and church. For a long time my faith was the most important thing to me and then as I started getting older (18) I began to doubt. This doubt only increased to the point that by the time I was 25 or 26 (I'm 33 now) I became"atheist". Now, I see that faith played a very important role in emotionally stabilizing me and giving me hope and I want something like that back. My question is why did I lose my faith (when all my family still holds it dear)? And how do I find something equally as helpful in my life? Thank you so much!
comment posted at 8:53 AM on Apr-23-13
comment posted at 8:59 AM on Apr-23-13
How do you keep your back, neck and shoulders relaxed?
comment posted at 8:34 AM on Apr-15-13
I'm pretty much useless at everything but have been gainfully employed as a coder for 15 years. Quite frankly I'd just like to do nothing. What do you suggest?
comment posted at 4:03 PM on Apr-12-13
Do you have faith in your therapist's sense of certainty?
comment posted at 9:46 AM on Apr-1-13
I am a scientifically-minded person who is trying to sort out my religious beliefs. I think it would be helpful to read some debates between deism, atheism, pantheism (Spinozism), and/or a scientifically-grounded theism. Can anyone recommend me books or essays that discuss these topics in ways that are engaging, well-thought-out, and thorough?
comment posted at 9:52 AM on Mar-19-13
I recently finished a lengthy project. I thought I did really well, and nothing indicated during the process that there was anything wrong. But I just got my review and it was poor. I feel like dying. Basically, when you've really fucked up and got no-one else to blame for it than your own incompetence, how do you shake it off and go on with your life?
comment posted at 7:33 AM on Mar-15-13
My wife wants to take our 9 month old to the chiropractor to have his ear manipulated to address ear infections. From what I understand, this would involve tugging/manipulating the ear itself, and not the C-spine. Hope me with science?
comment posted at 1:04 PM on Mar-11-13
How often should I expect to not click with someone? How often should I expect to not hear from the person again?
comment posted at 9:07 AM on Mar-11-13
I feel that since older, attractive, successful guys get so much love already, I shouldn't like them. It just feels unfair, so much so that I try to deny my feelings and COMPENSATE by liking the opposite. This has terrible results. How do I stop thinking like this?
comment posted at 8:25 AM on Mar-7-13
Due to unexpected circumstances, I'll need to find a new day care for my son within the next 6 months. He'll be 2 at the end of May. The day care he is in now is beyond awesome and is NAEYC accredited, but will be closing at the end of August. I want to keep him in as long as possible, but know that I should probably get him on waiting lists ASAP.
comment posted at 11:18 AM on Mar-6-13
I find taking notes in my Computer Science classes challenging. Can you share with me your techniques for taking useful notes that are specifically helpful for CS courses?
comment posted at 8:39 AM on Feb-1-13
comment posted at 8:46 AM on Feb-1-13
I am grossly fat and very unhappy. I've already figured out how many calories I need to consume to lose weight and joined a gym and bought a scale (gross). I'm an emotional binge eater. How can I maintain my motivation?
comment posted at 9:04 AM on Feb-1-13
Only marijuana lets me be the person I want to be. But I don't want to be dependent on drugs just to function.
comment posted at 11:01 AM on Feb-1-13
Hey all. Posting my questions to this community has been very helpful. I'm thankful so far for the advice I've been getting. This question has to do with something I've been struggling with my whole adulthood. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in my teens, and since then it's really limited a lot of what I can do. It didn't help much that I married a very overbearing person when I was 19 who basically took over my life for me. I left him two years ago and I've been recovering from my depression thanks to medication and a lot of self help techniques. I've started exercising and eating right, and I've lost weight, which I'm happy about. My next goal is to become self sufficient. My work ethic needs help though because I have a lot of trouble getting things done. I believe it stems from all those years I spent in deep depression and not being able to take care of myself. I procrastinate out of being overwhelmed and fearful of outcomes. I wouldn't call it laziness. It's just tough for me to learn a new way of living. Any advice on how to deal with this and improve my work ethic? I believe it's due time I start getting out of my own way. Thank you MeFi community. :)
comment posted at 8:34 AM on Jan-25-13
I'm a little bit confused about whether oils (olive, etc.) are healthy, and in what quantities they belong in a balanced diet (given their high caloric content). Should I be aiming to add them into my diet (pour a couple of spoonfuls over salad, or cook with them), or should I be aiming to avoid them, substituting other things in their place and largely or entirely forgoing them. What nutrients or other benefits do they offer my body that other foods wouldn't, if any? If they are healthy, which are the healthiest? Which are the least healthy? Are some better for eating fresh and others better for cooking with? Help?
comment posted at 7:23 PM on Jan-1-13
I want suggestions for new skills to learn. What are the best and/or most practical skills that you have acquired in life? What did you find was worth really taking the time to master? I am equally interested in short and long term skill sets.
comment posted at 5:45 PM on Dec-27-12
Recommendations for therapists who are comfortable with atheist and materialist world views in the DC area?
comment posted at 6:31 PM on Dec-23-12
I take a nice 4-serving Thermos of tea to work every day. It keeps my tea nice and hot all day long. But my little tupperware of milk warms up after a couple of hours. I'd like to find a 4-ounce container that will keep my milk cool, can poor without dripping, and is OK to put dairy in (because according to my Thermos, it's dairy intolerant).
comment posted at 12:49 PM on Nov-30-12
I can't find a standard term used on websites to mean "impermanent link", but I need one.
comment posted at 4:55 PM on Nov-19-12
Is it possible to healthily gain and keep on 20-30 lbs without (regimented) exercise and while being on a low-carbohydrate diet?
comment posted at 10:11 AM on Nov-19-12
Mattress to prevent arm numbness for a stomach sleeper?
comment posted at 1:44 PM on Nov-14-12
Teach me how to sound pretty and mesmerizing!
comment posted at 10:55 AM on Nov-13-12
Women's self defense. I'm curious about things that can be done before you get to a point where you've got to physically defend yourself. In particular, I'd be interested in first hand experiences from women about how you avoid these situations and if you've ever had to fight someone off.
comment posted at 10:07 AM on Nov-13-12
I suck. I am not good enough, I don't work hard enough, I'm lazy, and there are a million things I should be doing better. CBT doesn't work because I can refute just about every positive attribute you throw at me. What is wrong with my thought process, why am I so stubbornly stuck in "Never Good Enough Land", and why can't I make this go away? A free association of what's going through my head after the jump.
comment posted at 10:32 AM on Nov-13-12
I have a fear of chemicals and microbes, and anything that might harm my health. Is it rational? If not, how do I get over it?
comment posted at 12:04 PM on Nov-8-12
Muscle/Fitness: Most of my life, I've noticed that I have tight I.T. Bands, or at least tightness in the side of my thighs. How can I relieve this tightness? Tried rolling, etc... not much help.
comment posted at 12:16 PM on Nov-8-12
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