I suck. How do I live with that?
March 15, 2013 7:25 AM Subscribe
I recently finished a lengthy project. I thought I did really well, and nothing indicated during the process that there was anything wrong. But I just got my review and it was poor. I feel like dying. Basically, when you've really fucked up and got no-one else to blame for it than your own incompetence, how do you shake it off and go on with your life?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (48 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
Sorry for needing to being vague about the details, but I guess you could say that this took place at a certain kind of intersection of work and education. I feel like an idiot saying this now, but based on the feedback I was receiving during the process I was expecting to get a stellar final review. In reality, it turns out I barely scraped by.
The people giving me positive feedback at every step of the process were different (and obviously had different priorities) than the people reviewing my work afterward. And it turns out the two groups of people disagreed completely, so that after months of green lights, enthusiasm, positive feedback and encouragement... I unexpectedly received a crushing put down and learned I actually did it all wrong.
I suffer from anxiety and perfectionism, so I'm taking this very, very hard.
I can't go back and redo any of my work. I will certainly take a harsh look at all my mistakes and try to learn from them. I didn't do anything unethical or hurt anybody else in the process, so at least there is that. I was just stupid, and wrong, and an idiot.
My question is, how do I cope with this overwhelming feeling of embarrassment, humiliation, shame and self loathing?