Is there a Rough Guide to rough sex?
February 4, 2010 1:06 PM Subscribe
She’s keen on the rough stuff – I’m new to it [NSFW]
posted by anonymous to human relations (36 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
So, I’ve met a lovely girl who is pretty much insatiable in bed. Hurrah. As she puts it, she likes rough sex. While GGG, I’m new to these waters and in need of a harbour pilot.
She’s keen on being choked while we make love which I’m happy to do. Similarly she likes being slapped on the bum, boobs and face during the same. She loves being tied up which again I’m doing – but a bit amateurishly with ribbon or one of my ties. I have been told in no uncertain terms not to buy fluffy handcuffs. Hair pulling and dominant behaviour are both well received.
So far so good but when we’re hard at it, I’m getting lots of “harder” encouragement and frankly I’m coming up a bit blank. Any suggestions on what next gratefully received.
I’m also butting up against some redlines in my own mind. Brought up by my mum, with two younger sisters and a life long respectful adorer of women, I am struggling a touch to give my friend what she’s after.
Notwithstanding that I consider myself an advocate of equality and women’s rights, I do find myself thinking “you like it when I do this to you, cool!” However slapping her in the face (while in flagrante) in particular made me feel squeamish and if you can point me at any resources that explain that I’m not a monster for giving someone who I respect hugely what she’s asking me for, again I’d be grateful.
Just so we’re quite clear on all of this, we’re both over 21, everything we do is entirely consensual, we have a safe word (which she keeps forgetting because she says she doesn’t think she’ll need it with me) and I have asked what she’s up for. In reply I get “everything – surprise me.” Beyond the odd bruise or scratches on my back we’ve not left marks on each other thus far.
We’re both recently out of long term relationships and are quite clear with each other that for the time being, neither is after an exclusive, ‘significant other’ type relationship. Neither of us are BDSM-types but I guess that we’re heading in that direction. It’s a community I know nothing about and it is slightly intimidating to an outsider who’s pressing their nose against the glass at the behest of another.
This thread was helpful but not quite what I’m after: http://ask.metafilter.com/117307/How-do-I-find-out-who-actually-likes-rough-sex
This too was in the same ballpark but not quite right: http://ask.metafilter.com/54044/How-do-I-know-if-a-prospective-manfriend-is-the-type-to-um-pull-my-hair
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