In another online community I participate in
, it is common for people with unusual and interesting life experience to post about it and invite questions from other users. Recently, someone into BDSM posted.
He confessed that he liked "to see women crying, bleeding and worse". When pressed to elaborate, he added that he has been "involved with things such as cutting, branding, piercing, bone-breaking, head-shaving, and more". All, of course, completely consensual.
Now, I consider myself pretty open-minded when it comes to sexual kinks, including BDSM, but I have a very strong moral intuition that what he does crosses a line and is terribly, terribly wrong.
I can't, however, justify it very well. I tried, and the best I could do was a very convoluted argument. I conjectured that many of his partners were victimized at one point, and that this somehow makes their consent non-relevant, since they are motivated by trauma rather than authentic, autonomous desire.
It's not a very strong argument, and I'd like to be able to do better. But if you think I'm being prude and moralistic, I'd like to hear your reasoning, too.