Où sont les femmes?
January 9, 2011 8:30 PM Subscribe
In the dating world of 2011, is being a male teacher a curse?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (45 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Why do so many of the women I’ve dated seem turned-off by male teachers?
I’m 27 and I teach French at a large public high school in a rustbelt city in the Great Lakes area. I think of myself as successful, stable, and happy. I am tall, in shape and not (yet!) balding, etc. I dress well and can talk about anything from sports to TV to lit. I’m comfortable talking with strangers and in front of crowds—-I exude confidence and am extroverted. I speak six languages, but I keep this little fact to myself usually.
Over the past four months, I have gone on dozens of dates with women ranging in ages from 23-32 whom I’ve met on OKCupid, Match, and through friends/colleagues. I usually get a second date, but then I hear the same lines about how teaching “must be so stressful and time-consuming” (it isn’t) and how they are looking for “someone with more potential” in life.
These kinds of comments usually come up when trying to plan the third date--their schedule tends to be hectic, unplanned, and always last minute, whereas mine is as predictable as the sunrise tomorrow. I will have been at the gym for a while before the local Happy Hour starts for the office-dwellers, for example.
Having a predictable schedule of 7AM-3PM, working out, and doing consulting on the side just doesn’t seem to make up for the fact that I am not in finance or business and making payments on a 300-series.
Many of my single (male) teacher friends (straight and gay I would add) have also experienced this apparent problem where their chosen careers don’t stack up to their date’s or that of their date’s idealized partner. Some even go so far as to lie or misrepresent their occupation in their profiles and online interactions.
Have any of you single male teachers out there encountered this mentality in the dating world? Do you keep your occupation to yourself until directly asked about it?