He wasn't trying to hurt me, but is this a clue of inconsiderate attitudes?
September 8, 2010 10:53 AM Subscribe
Seeing a guy who's a little socially awkward. He hasn't initiated any physical affection, and tonight he revealed that he said something disparaging about me to a mutual friend. How to proceed?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (37 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
What he said was demeaning and trivialized something I'm going through.
He used the fact that be is seeing someone with this trait to deprecate himself in a situation that sounded unrelated. I wasn't there, he told me about this comment out of the blue. He also told me that out mutual friend defended me.
I'm stunned that he thinks of me this way, and that this thing bothers him as much as it does.
Not sure if I want to bring it up tomorrow or just bail altogether. Part of me wants to use this relationship as 'practice' and enjoy the nice parts, another part of me wants to explain to him that he's done something hurtful and see where that goes. A third part of me wants to just tell him I'm not interested, because it's not my job to make guys with training wheels track ready. (I'm mid 20s, he's late 20s/early 30s)
Recycling an email from my previous AnonyMe*: email@example.com (seems fitting because part of me is itching to get laid, but maybe not at the expense of my self esteem.)
So, am I over reacting? Under reacting? Not considering some other potential way to get past this comment?
*for those of you who remember that question; I bought a clipper, use it every now and then. Thanks!