Columbus still sucks. What do I do for the next eight months?

August 1, 2023 2:57 PM

I asked this question exactly 16 months ago: https://ask.metafilter.com/363112/I-moved-to-Columbus-OH-And-bought-a-house-It-was-a-huge-mistake Since that time, NOTHING has changed ...

(except I'm more than over ridiculous Chicago Guy).

Columbus is dreary, mostly populated with married folks or students too young to date, and a small liberal sea in a state that's trying to be Florida. The food scene that everyone raves about is a solid C+ on a good day. The only silver lining is that my property value has gone up a bit so to avoid capital gains, I'll be staying through my next tax filing in April 2024.

I've joined Meetups, gone to all the events, been social but haven't made any meaningful connections. I've online dated, put ads on for friends, even read the book suggested in the last thread. Nothing has worked. In addition, there is major construction of the river near my home and it's loud all day. All. day.

I would like to avoid dreading the next eight months, watching Golden Girls every night (though it is comforting).

What's left?

posted by simonelikenina to Human Relations (21 answers total)

Woah, I am also in Columbus, here from the Southwest, and am counting the months before I can leave. Maybe we should organize an Ohio MeFi meetup?
posted by Silvery Fish at 3:14 PM on August 1, 2023 [25 favorites]

It would be great as you consider leaving - what place would have the community you desire? Before you anchor on leaving in 8 months, can you visit that place that has your community? Maybe someone from that community you aspire to be a part of knows a friend or family member in Columbus. It’s really hard to invest more time in a place you’re about to leave, so spend time getting excited and prepared for your next place. If your new community/family/friends like hiking, you could physically prepare yourself
posted by bbqturtle at 3:21 PM on August 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Come to Cincinnati and see why it's better here than in Columbus! ;)

In all seriousness, what are your plans for when you leave Columbus? There's no harm in really diving into those plans and making them solid. I think having a real way out will go a long way to making you feel better day-to-day.
posted by cooker girl at 3:21 PM on August 1, 2023 [9 favorites]

Maybe this was already covered under "all the events" but is there any kind of skill or hobby you'd be interested in taking a class in? Possibly especially if it's something you think of as kind of a stretch or something you might not normally consider. I've had a couple acquaintances who are really fried on their current life circumstances do this recently (woodworking for one, flamenco for the other) and it perked them up.

For the construction - can you tolerate wearing noise canceling headphones for long stretches? That + the fuzzy noise of your choice or some pleasant, innocuous music might help mitigate how aggravating the construction noise is.

Good luck - I'm sorry things aren't working out right now and I hope getting to a better living situation goes smoothly for you.
posted by EvaDestruction at 3:27 PM on August 1, 2023

Get really into some sort of exercise practice -- yoga or running or swimming or weightlifting or jiu jitsu or whatever. Join a group, get a monthly pass, and commit to going three or four or five times a week. It's great for mental health/frustration, maybe you'll make a friend or two, and even if you don't, worst case scenario you'll get a lot stronger.
posted by attentionplease at 3:55 PM on August 1, 2023

Have you spent any time at the amazing metroparks all around the area? I get that current OH politics suck but it's highly underrated for nature, if you're into rolling hills and babbling brooks and quiet ponds or forests and meadows or birds and beavers etc.
posted by SaltySalticid at 4:11 PM on August 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Does your current house need any renovations that you could do before it sells? Renovating is pretty all-consuming as projects go, and since you're leaving, you can pack up rooms to clear them for painting or whatever and then just not unpack since you're not staying.

This is also an excellent time to do something that could be socially embarrassing but won't be because you're not going to see any of those people again. If you have ever wanted to dress wildly differently than you do now, do improv, karaoke, busking (check if you need a license) or something else very visible I say go for it. Like if you want to wear a chicken suit to the grocery store you can be Chicken Suit At The Grocery Store Person for 8 months, enjoy your notoriety, and then vanish forever as far as Columbus goes.

Check for letterboxes or geocaches where you are. That can be a fun way to get out and explore a city, even if it is a boring city.

I notice you didn't mention whether you tried volunteering? Once a week for eight months is a good chunk of time to give to some local agency. You might meet pleasant people while you're sorting cans at the food bank or whatever, and if you don't, you can at least say you made a difference.
posted by blnkfrnk at 4:12 PM on August 1, 2023 [29 favorites]

Best answer: Hi from rural Ohio! I remember your question and sympathize mightily. Would be interested in an Ohio MeFi meetup myself, it’s lonely out here.

Things I have done since we moved here: started pottery classes, seen my kid through preschool and into school age with all attendant activities (playdates, organized sports, birthday parties, American Girls dolls [shudder]), gotten into community gardening, given talks at the college in my academic-adjacent area of expertise, gone to gallery openings, and last but certainly not least, gotten involved in hyperlocal politics. Whew!

It’s weird to look holistically at all those small activities and feel they add up to a lot. Especially since I have spent significant time pondering moving away. I still work in California so I have regular travel that helps relieve the tedium, and I love my partner and kid and am content to spend a lot of my time with them. If you don’t have people keeping you here, or a tenure-track job (our sitch, basically) I agree it’s not necessarily worth “sticking it out” for some imagined reward. But if there is something weaving you into life here, the small stuff accumulates into a bigger life than you might notice day by day.

There’s no point spending the bulk of the next year in a waiting room for the exit, I guess is what I’m saying. Try to enjoy small easy things and look towards the next big thing?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 4:29 PM on August 1, 2023 [6 favorites]

If you like to cook at home, enjoy the local produce while you're around it....Do as much outdoors/nature stuff as you can; summer and fall, before it gets cold? I've been to Kenyon, it's pretty out there (Gambier) and not far from Columbus.

Otherwise focus on (or cultivate) whatever other usual hobbies you will still enjoy after you move.
posted by snuffleupagus at 4:48 PM on August 1, 2023

I’m the guy who commented on your last post that I miss Columbus so much it makes me cry. And I say: leave. I love Columbus, but you don’t, and that’s not going to change. Metafilter has this belief that if you just wait a few more months, and try just a little harder, you’ll magically fall in love with a place. I’m here to tell you that that’s not true, that you aren’t ever going to fall in love with it. The best thing to do is to rip off the band-aid. If you can afford it, leave before selling your house. It’ll sell as soon as you put it on the market, but if it makes sense to keep it off the market, then wait until April to put it on the market. You can always rent it out between now and then if that helps you afford a place wherever you’re going to move. There’s no sense in sitting around for eight months as a lame duck.
posted by kevinbelt at 4:48 PM on August 1, 2023 [7 favorites]

Best answer: Vote if you haven't done early voting. There's the Special Election on August 8th.
posted by oceano at 5:01 PM on August 1, 2023 [18 favorites]

Think of yourself as "only having several months" and set yourself some fun short-term goals. Read Moby Dick! Do a couch to 5K! Whatever. (Anything that is actually made better/easier by being in Columbus is a bonus.)

(Sorry it didn't work out for you. Ohio isn't easy going.)
posted by praemunire at 5:42 PM on August 1, 2023

Is there a reason that you can’t just rent out your house and jump ship? 8m is a long time to be miserable, and that’s like 1% of your life if you live to 80.
posted by pando11 at 6:01 PM on August 1, 2023 [2 favorites]

Having complete existential crisis over failing to become my small towns equivalent of the Grocery Store Person before I left. What a wonderful suggestion to embrace the situation.
posted by dazedandconfused at 6:02 PM on August 1, 2023 [4 favorites]

so to avoid capital gains, I'll be staying through my next tax filing in April 2024.

That may be unnecessary.

1. Tax years are January to January in the US, not April to April. You file in April but you're describing what happened in the previous year. If you want your capital gain taxed in 2024, completing on Jan 1 is fine.

2. If you're talking about capital gains in your primary home, unless something strange is happening you're probably exempt. You have to have owned and lived in it for 2 years and the first 250k of gain is exempt, but
- given your previous question was a while after you moved in you shouldn't have eight months to wait to make up the two year period
- if you make more than 250k profit when costs are discounted, well, congratulations (and even then the first 250k is exempt).

Talk to a realtor about the best time of year to sell your house, because there are good and bad times, but don't hold out till April for tax reasons unless you're sure it's necessary.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 6:12 PM on August 1, 2023 [9 favorites]

Response by poster: @oceano: Early voting was my Friday activity. :)
posted by simonelikenina at 7:27 PM on August 1, 2023 [9 favorites]

Fix/finish whatever needs doing on your house. Research the real estate market in Columbus so you know what everything is selling for and you can get the best price or quickest move possible. Start planning your move itself.

Then, make a list of everything you could/would do in Columbus before you leave and start churning through them.
posted by plonkee at 4:31 AM on August 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

so to avoid capital gains, I'll be staying through my next tax filing in April 2024.

I agree with How much is that froggie in the window's comment about capital gains. Even if you bought your house less than 2 years ago, you are likely still be eligible for exclusion from taxable gains, just less than $250k (~$167k if you bought 16 months ago). See https://lifetimeparadigm.com/principal-residence-gain-exclusion-break/#PrematureSaleEmploymentChange
posted by flicken at 5:18 AM on August 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

I actually want to do a long weekend in central Ohio for this stuff:
otherworld.com

ohio-statehouse-fossils

'The Giant Head' video installation

12,000 varieties of roses

Trapping Museum

Shrum Mound

sword in the stone

Colorful Buddhist Temple

If you've already checked all of these off of your list, apologies! Best wishes for whatever your future holds
posted by leemleem at 9:52 AM on August 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'm from Cleveland and would love an Ohio MeFi meetup. Columbus is halfway between Cinci and Cleveland...
posted by kathrynm at 10:37 AM on August 2, 2023

Best answer: Spruce up the exterior of your house and get some nice photos, especially with blooming flowers. When you put your house on the market in March, you'll have pretty blue skies and foliage -- much better than gray skies and mud (like your competitors will have)!

There's so many elevating little interior touches you can do, too, that subtly add perception of "value" and "quality." Make sure all the electrical cover plates and bath hardware are nicer than builder-grade, add dimmer switches everywhere, etc.

We hatched up our get-out-of-Wisconsin plan with a similar timeframe, and between all the painting & repairs / konmari-ing the F out our stuff / planning & packing, I was really, really busy. (Especially helpful during the dreariest of pandi-winters.)
posted by mimi at 12:00 PM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]