New job vs. sleep cycle

August 1, 2023 3:31 PM

My new(ish) job requires earlier starts. I'm trying to shift my sleeping patterns to be more in line with those required by my job (and to be more aligned with the world in general) but I'm not sleeping well and I'm exhausted. If I persevere, will I start to feel more like a human being, or is this battle not worth fighting?

Apologies for any typoes etc. I'm running a sleep debt.

I am a night owl, and one of the benefits of my previous role was that I could start work around 10-10:30am and work till 6:30pm or later. I'm a night owl, and I would habitually go to bed around 1am, wake up around 8, and get to work for 10. I love being awake from 11-1am, I love having the time to myself. My life and work require me to be 'on', available and present to many people all day, and those 2 hours are hours that I can be undisturbed. They are really important to my sense of reset.

I have always slept well from approx. 1am to 8am, with no midnight awakenings. 8-8:30am feels like a natural wake-up time for me, I will often wake up at that time with no alarms set.

A while ago I started at a new workplace with a much more conventional 9-5 routine. To get to work for 9am I have to wake up at 7am and it is KILLING ME. I am trying to go to bed earlier, but my body can't seem to adjust to a 10 or 11pm bedtime, even if I am sleepy. I'll wake up at 3am, 4am, 5am, and then finally pass out, oversleep through my alarm clocks, somehow make it to work on time anyway but be exhausted all day. It's so much more stressful. Going to bed early also takes away my favourite time of day from me, i.e. that 11pm to 1am chunk of me-time that I really value.

I DO have the option of flagging this to my new boss, they've been quite understanding so far so I could request a later start time. However, I am not sure of the optics of this to my boss or the wider team, most of whom are in the office by 9, and it's relatively early on into my employment, so I really don't want to jeopardise things for myself.

What I am really wondering is whether I will adjust to this different sleep routine if I persevere with it. It would be convenient to have a body clock that is more in sync with the rest of the world. It would be great if I could shift my important 'me-time' hours to early on in the day, like 5am-7am. I just don't know how realistic this is. So my question is: What have your experiences been with trying to shift your sleep cycle in this way? Is this a losing battle, am I basically trying to change the way I am wired, or is it something I should persevere with?

posted by unicorn chaser to Health & Fitness (19 answers total)

I find it pretty easy to shift my sleep/wake-up time (given a week or so to adapt, and assuming it's light outside when I have to get up), but everybody is different. If you've been getting up at 7am for a week already and are still finding it really hard, it sounds like it's most likely a really hard thing for you, and a later start-and-end-of-work time would potentially dramatically improve your work performance.

But.

This is only a 1-hour shift of wake-up time, the same as the springtime shift to daylight saving time. How long does it normally take you to adjust to daylight saving time? If that adjustment is easier/quicker for you than this transition has been, I suspect there's an additional psychological angle (rather than physiological) that you could potentially address. For example, when I know that I have to get up early to catch a flight, my anxiety around the tight schedule and flying in general makes me sleep poorly. Has the new job + the getting up earlier + the sleep difficulties become A Thing which is creating anxiety which is making the sleep difficulties worse?
posted by heatherlogan at 3:44 PM on August 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

I, like you, gravitate towards a later bedtime. I also started a job last fall for which I have near-daily 8am meetings. My sleep-until-9am habit had to change. Here's what I did to make the shift to my sleep cycle less painful:

- Gradually moved my bedtime & wake up alarm back 15m at a time instead of all at once.
- Set up a sunrise alarm to start illuminating my bedroom 20m before the alarm goes off. This is extremely important for me, especially if it's still dark outside when I'm supposed to wake up.
- Shifted my meal times so that I'm not going to bed with a full stomach
- Took a bedtime melatonin supplement if I felt too wired to fall asleep on time during the adjustment period.

To maintain my new sleep routine, I do my best not to stay up late or sleep in on the weekend.

It took a few weeks, but then I started getting sleepy around my new bedtime and waking up a few minutes before my alarm clock in the morning.
posted by burntflowers at 3:49 PM on August 1, 2023 [8 favorites]

I had a job that required me to do a similar schedule change in 2015. I adjusted to the schedule change but I was always miserable. As soon as the option was available, I reverted to the late night sleep schedule. I will seek remote work in the future to keep my sleep schedule if possible.

Wouldn’t be surprised if any schedule changes you manage to make would be for the duration of this job only.
posted by shock muppet at 4:42 PM on August 1, 2023

I have a similar innate sleep cycle as you.

I am now four years into a job where I need to be at work by 8:15 AM at the latest.

I still hate it, and I still revert to a 'go to bed at 1 AM, get up at 8:30' schedule if I have more than a weekend off. However, I am not (always) exhausted like you are describing. That part shifted after a few months. So -- no, you will not become a morning person, but if you like your job, you may be able to physiologically adjust so you no longer feel ill because you are awake!
posted by byzantienne at 4:59 PM on August 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

So you used to go to bed at 1 and now you’re trying to go to bed at 10 or 11, but the wakeup time has only shifted an hour earlier? The problem might be just that it’s too extreme of a jump. Try going to bed at midnight for a while. (I’m exactly like you and really empathize.)
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:04 PM on August 1, 2023 [6 favorites]

I'm sorry you're going through this. This sounds... relatable, and shitty.

My entire adult life I have had sleep issues for a couple [medical] reasons; two of the items in the large kit of tools that help me fall sleep are Valerian Root and Theanine, taken ~1hr before I want to sleep. I find neither gives me a 'sleep hangover'.

Also, it is no joke, what They say about the need to reduce screentime and bluelight exposure in the time before bed. Being exposed to the wrong light sources in the hours before bed can be detrimental to falling sleep.
posted by jerome powell buys his sweatbands in bulk only at 5:32 PM on August 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to sleep too much? You said your natural schedule is 1am - 8am, which is 7 hours, but are now going to bed at 10 - 11pm for a 7am wakeup time, which is 8-9 hours. Sometimes it helps to get a bit less sleep than usual when you’re trying to shift your schedule so you’ll be tired enough in the evening.

I have been able to shift my sleep schedule before. Things that have worked for me:
- Getting up super early one day, like 4-5am for you. Sacrifice one night of sleep and you’ll be exhausted when your new bedtime comes.
- Shifting dinner to be the same number of hours before bed as it was and taking a sleep aid right before my new bedtime
- Having coffee or a caffeine pill right beside my bed and consuming it as soon as I wake up - sometimes I sleep for a few minutes afterwards
- Getting outside as soon as I wake up (if there’s sunlight, if not turn on bright lights or a SAD lamp)
- Getting extra exercise in order to be tired
- Eating a ton of carbs before bed
- Using blue light filters on my devices cranked all the way up
- Hot epsom salt bath before bed
- Cold blast of water at the end of a morning shower
posted by wheatlets at 5:36 PM on August 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

Please go read the book Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. It will help you understand your sleep patterns and help you decide if - and if so, how - to change them.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 5:58 PM on August 1, 2023 [1 favorite]

The thing that has worked for me is starting my day with 2-3 hours of unbothered alone time instead of enjoying it at the end. It feels like a luxury at both ends, for me. My day begins and I do whatever I want before anything else. As evening wanes, I imagine going to bed as a self-centered indulgence, done with the day because I said so.
4:30 am is even lonelier and lovelier than 1am, and if you have birds around, you get to hear them greet the invisible sun.
posted by droomoord at 6:43 PM on August 1, 2023 [3 favorites]

Speaking as a person with a severely borked circadian rhythm, you got some good suggestions, but nothing works as well as bright light glasses or a bright light visor. Worn every morning, this will retrain your body to your new wake time, and can make you sleepy earlier and sleep harder. They are expensive, but life changing.

Luminettes glasses

Feel Bright Light Visor
posted by hungrytiger at 11:05 PM on August 1, 2023

…I mean, accommodations are better than bright light glasses. But if you can’t get accommodations, the glasses are your next best thing.
posted by hungrytiger at 11:11 PM on August 1, 2023

Most people would be able to shift their waking time by an hour. Typically you do it by making yourself wake up at the right time (using lights etc) and then shifting your sleep start backwards a bit. You might find that it's easier to wake up something like 1.5 hours earlier, because sleep cycles are around that length.

Some people cannot shift their sleep time earlier. If you fall into this group then I think your only answers are getting and adjustment at work, or taking a very strategically timed nap. (Or being tired all the time, but that's strongly disrecommended)
posted by plonkee at 4:25 AM on August 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Another thing to try in addition: change all your mealtimes (or especially your evening meal) to be an hour earlier. This won’t solve the thing by itself but it will slightly help your body to run on a whole different schedule.
posted by lokta at 4:33 AM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

From personal experience my quality of life got immeasurably better when I could go to sleep around midnight and get up at 8:15 instead of going to sleep around 11PM and getting up at 7:15.

This is a real thing and you may never really adjust.
posted by rhymedirective at 6:14 AM on August 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'm a born night owl. I have always had to be at work by 8 am and up sometime between 7-7:45 (latest time being WFH days),except for the 4 months where I had to work 7-4. That 4 month stint 20 years ago ruined my sleep for life for good and has never recovered. I constantly wake up in fear and paranoia in the wee small hours of the morning almost every morning of life in fear of sleeping through the alarm. Today: slept like a rock from 11:30 to 3:15 am, got back to dozing around 5:30, look at what time I post.

I have never, never, never "gotten used to it" and I don't even have DSPS. No. You cannot adjust.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:50 AM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

1. Can you change your morning routine so you can wake up a little later? You're still able to get to work when you miss your alarm, so maybe you can streamline what you do so you can PLAN to sleep in later more often. Pick out clothes, have everything packed and ready to grab on your way out the door, pay more for transportation that takes less time, etc.

2. Can you shift your "me time" to begin at 10pm? It may be easier to make this adjustment if you have two hours before bed to yourself before going to bed at midnight. (You may be able to shift everything earlier over time, but as others have said, midnight is a reasonable goal right now and better than going to bed too early and getting poor sleep.) Maybe hire out some of the things that are usually occupying you in the evening, or saying no to more things?

3. Can you work part of your hours remotely? For example, will showing up later be looked upon more kindly if you send some e-mails before heading in or while on public transportation?
posted by metasarah at 9:11 AM on August 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Delayed sleep phase syndrome is a thing. However it does tend to get a little better as you get older; now I can go to bed at midnight, whereas in my twenties anytime before 2am was laughable.

So if your usual bedtime was set more than a few years ago, you indeed might have success moving it now.
posted by nat at 4:45 PM on August 2, 2023

If you are at the point of asking this question, I think you know the answer, deep down. No, it does not sound like this change is something your body is capable of absorbing.

(If you read my post and think, "Bullshit, I can so change!," then of course maybe you can and this is all just a product of your reluctance to do so. But I suspect this is unlikely.)

I actually think now is a great time to bring this up with your boss. If you make this switch early on, you are just going to be The Person On Flex Hours, and it will soon be forgotten that you were ever coming in at 9 AM. Putting off the conversation on the vague idea that it will "look bad" is not going to serve you. This is either something your workplace can handle appropriately, or it isn't, and personally I bet they're going to be flexible. You have a friendly manager, and also, this company just onboarded you...the last thing they want is for you to jump ship a few weeks in over something as petty as, like, not scheduling your team meetings for before 10 AM.

The first hour of work for most people is just settling in and dealing with emails. Having to wait an hour to talk to you is probably not going to matter to your coworkers.
posted by desert outpost at 7:17 PM on August 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

In my experience, almost every single job is 8-5, period. Or earlier. If you have a job that will let you sleep later, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO IT.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:25 PM on August 2, 2023