I am madly in love with my girlfriend. I want it to last. Am I doing everything I should be doing, as a good boyfriend?
I have been with my current girlfriend for 6 months. We are both between 18-21 years of age. I've had relationships before, but they were different. In the past, I liked someone's company and the feeling of companionship. Sentimental, you could say. My longest relationship before this was 2 years, but it was casual and didn't mean much in the end.
Before this, I had never been with someone who I would consider marrying, spending the rest of my life with, etc.. I'm sure many of you have been there, but this is really new for me. I know we're both young, but I am so in love with her that it just.. it doesn't make sense. The only way I want this to turn out is with me giving her my love for the rest of my life, if not for the freakin rest of time itself.
But beneath all my layers of sap and sentimental mushiness, I do have a cynical,
realist side. I have a few concerns with our relationship and I want to know:
- if I should
- and if so, am I doing everything in my power to make things work?
1) She has low self esteem. She is very up and down, with her self-image and bouts of self-deprecation. I would say that she has an episode of either one (or both) maybe 5 or 6 days out of the week. She gets down on herself because she thinks she looks fat, or she doesn't think she'll amount to anything, or she hasn't decided what she wants to do career-wise, or she has one zit on her face that you can't even see with a microscope.
What I'm doing about it:
- I tell her very often how much I love her. I tell her in different ways. I tell her how I think about her during the day. We buy something from the grocery store, and I take her through a detour in the candy aisle to buy something she likes, just because.
- I tell her how beautiful she is, that she's slim and gorgeous (she's tall and slender, and her body fat is like.. if she leans back you can make out her floating ribs. It's all in her head!) I talk to her about how great she looks, how her hair is awesome, she has great lips and such a cute face. She's a knockout.. she just has trouble seeing it. She will eventually smile, get kind of giddy, and be like "okay :)"
2) We're both young.. what does that mean? I know that back in the "good old days," two people could spend their whole lives together, but my parents are divorced. Everyone's divorced. Some people have relationships in their twenties that last 3 years and then fizzle out. How can I prevent that? Is it even worth stressing over? My common sense tells me I should just live for the moment, be thankful day by day, and other stuff like that.. but if we ever end up apart, that stuff won't be enough.
3) She's exactly like the girlfriend here
. That guy strikes me as kind of full of himself. I am not. I just love my girlfriend very much and want her to think us as equals, because I do. Honestly I think my girlfriend is hotter than I am by a pretty healthy margin.. but she often tells me that I'm so good to her, and so good-looking, and nobody else would ever love her this way if I left her
. I mean.. it's really touching, and I know it comes from the heart.. but with that, obviously, she is missing some sense of self-worth.. you know?
TL;DR: I am happy with my girlfriend, she's happy with me. In the long term, am I doing things right? What should I do? What can I do? I somehow landed the woman of my dreams - how can I be perfect for her?
Thanks in advance for your help and advice.. I'll be checking back a lot so feel free to ask questions if you want.