Why don't I have any friends anymore?
March 2, 2006 6:19 AM Subscribe
In the last 15 or so years I have managed to make and keep exactly one friend. What am I doing wrong? I used to have friends from college, but they all moved away (seriously, almost all of them, to other continents and coasts). I freely admit to being judgmental and opinionated--but I'm also funny, well-read, and courteous. (Once upon a time, my friends liked that I was opinionated and judgmental.) I'm a good conversationalist. I know about balancing self-disclosure vs. showing an interest in the other person. I'm also well acquainted with professional help, and with prescription remedies, so no "go to a therapist" answers, please.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (38 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I've tried taking classes, volunteering, etc. I started a new job recently and I made a huge effort to smile and say hello even if the other person didn't do it first. Yet still, people pretty much never talk to me beyond the bare minimum. I can accept that I don't easily make connections with people; but I find it hard to believe that every single person I meet is waiting for me to make the first move in terms of exchanging phone numbers, making plans, etc. IMO the best friendships are the ones where you share interests and attitudes--I'd rather be alone than with unsatisfying "friends"--so I understand I'm partially responsible. But other than that I'm stumped, and my phone never rings, and I don't have anyone else to ask.