Should I settle for comfort or keep looking for that connection?
October 18, 2013 9:54 AM Subscribe
I haven't had much luck with long-term relationships. I want a partner who is observant and can keep up with me on a conversational level, but those guys tend not to like me. I never like the people who like me back. Should I change my expectations for a connection or should I hold out for the kind of guy I'm looking for?
posted by tuberose to human relations (32 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I'm ready to commit to a long-term relationship. I'm a 26 year old woman and I don't think I have anything more to learn about myself by proxy of dating multiple people. I'm not thinking about kids at all right now but I want someone I can share my life with. I want someone I can send witty texts to about mundane things. I want someone to travel with, to support me when I'm having a bad day and whom I can support in return, to have inside jokes with etc.
The problem is that I've never had one of these. My longest relationship was six months and it was with a longtime friend whom I settled for. I kept looking for people I was more attracted to the whole time. He must have figured out I cheated on him because we sure aren't friends anymore.
I don't aim for the best-looking/most talented/most charismatic guy in the room. But I am most attracted to guys with a dry sense of humor and an abstract way of thinking. About me: I'm attractive but I have mild autism. I tend to go for people who are better than I am socially, but I've also fallen for other awkward people who end up dumping me because they want somebody less awkward.
There's a specific type of guy that tends to like me: loner, outdoorsy, very loyal but not very observant. Seeing as the guys I'm crazy about inevitably break up with me after a month, do you think I should learn to love someone with some common interests who might not be as smart as I want? Or do I have time to keep looking for someone with the conversational compatibility I'm hoping for?