Jumping back into the dating pool and hoping for some hacks and advice specific to finding the kind of people that interest me...
So, life has settled down a lot since my most recent questions...my divorce is very close to final, I'm living with my kids in a place I love, I'm in my best shape in years, I've picked up some new hobbies and renewed my participation in some old ones. I've also made some great new friends and feel like I'm in a really good place emotionally. Yay me!
I've dated a few people I've met online, with mixed results (everything from one encounter to several months' worth of dating). I haven't found a lot of face-to-face opportunities for meeting potential dates, so I'm continuing the online dating thing and have profiles on several sites. I realize it's a numbers game, but I'm just finding the process really overwhelming. Like many women, I get a ton of messages, most of which are ridiculous in quality and/or are from people who really don't interest me (really old men, college kids, etc). I've messaged some people whose profiles appealed to me, but literally none of these people have written back. It's discouraging, to say the least.
It's occurred to me that maybe some of the people I'm messaging are a little out of my league, or are "too cool" to be into me. (I've noticed that, especially among the people located inside the cities nearest me, they all seem awfully hip - ridiculously well-traveled, don't own a TV, are into super obscure stuff, etc.) Fair enough; I don't want someone with whom I have nothing in common. The problem is, these educated urban hipsters actually appeal to me more than the opposite end of the spectrum, where almost everyone else seems to fall - I've seen lots of sports-jersey-wearing suburbanites who list Olive Garden as their favorite restaurant. Perfect for someone, just maybe not for me.
What I'd ideally like to find is someone just a little edgy, smart, polished, funny, kind, emotionally available and ready for a relationship, who welcomes dating someone with kids, probably aged 35-47 or so. Not too much to ask, right? [snerk] Finding these people, however, seems next to impossible.
I guess my question boils down to three parts:
(1) Are there any hacks to the dating sites I'm on - OKCupid, Match, PlentyofFish, Spark - that will make it easier to find the kind of people I described above and to get on their radar? I'm found so much conflicting advice (message tons of people; message no one but instead just rate their profiles highly; keep your OKC button red; keep it green) but at this point I am not concerned with principle or how it *should* work - I just want a system that is effective, as I don't have a ton of time to spend on these sites.
(2) Is there anything obvious in my profile (content or photos) that would seem like an immediate turnoff to these people? My OKC profile is here
; my profiles on the other sites are pretty much identical.
(3) Are there any other worthwhile dating sites that I'm missing? eHarmony won't accept me since my divorce isn't final, and I haven't encountered any others that seem good. (I like OKC in general, and POF has been okay, but I'm not really digging the generic-ness of Match and Spark seems like a waste of time altogether.)
Apologies for the length of this post, and thanks in advance for any help in navigating this next stage of my life!