How/when/should I tell a potential new beau that I used to be obese?
February 26, 2013 6:35 AM Subscribe
I used to weigh 150 lbs more than I do now. My body looks like I used to weigh 150 lbs more than I do right now; when is the appropriate time to discuss this with someone I just started dating? Is it necessary to discuss? How do I bring it up?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (27 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
My body is a masterpiece of stretch marks, some sag and some extra/wrinkly skin. All things considered, it could probably be worse. I lost the weight about eight years ago, so this isn't a new thing. I've dated people before but it has never lasted long-term. Most of the time, I haven't had a discussion with people about how my body might not be what they are expecting, but I have been thinking it might be good to give the new guy I just met a "heads' up." Do you think this is a good idea? When (after how many dates - we have only met up once so far, but it seemed promising; figured I would ask for future reference if this one doesn't work out) and how do you think is a good way to broach the topic?
It just feels like kind of a private thing to discuss; I have never been one of those people who likes to tell everyone about their amazing weight loss story and it happened so long ago now it is only a part of my life story. And even if I do tell him about the weight loss, I don't think it would be immediately obvious that one of the things that follows from that is that my body might be different from others. I feel like I would have to spell it out for him, and that feels even more private than just telling him that I lost all of that weight.
Have you had to tell someone you started dating something that felt private and might be 'disqualifying' from further dates (or the same situation if you have been in it)? When in the course of getting to know them did you tell them? How did they take it?