Communication in the early days of dating
February 3, 2013 8:49 AM Subscribe
What are your tips to keeping the lines of communication open in the first few weeks of dating someone new?
posted by toerinishuman to human relations (6 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
The hardest part of dating for me is keeping the lines of communication open when we're just starting to get to know each other. In the past, I've lived in small communities where I saw my boyfriends several times a week regardless if we made plans together or not; we had the same friends and general interests. But now I'm living in a large city and have been dating men I've met on OKCupid, and I don't know how to keep in touch with someone I wouldn't organically meet. I struggle with what to say to someone, either by email or text, other than making plans for the next date. I prefer to talk to people face-to-face in general, and I think I've gotten stuck on this method of communication.
Meeting guys outside of OKC in this city hasn't been working, partially because most guys I like when I first meet them are in relationships, and partially because I'm not good at flirting/reading when someone is flirting with me. OKC means I can meet single guys and know we're both looking for a relationship. Before OKC, I hadn't gone on a date in over a year, and the male friends I made weren't interested in dating me.
My question is, in the first few weeks of dating, what kinds of emails, texts, etc are typical, and how often do people contact each other? I don't think I'm comfortable sending 'how's your day going?' or 'thinking of you :)' texts when we've been seeing each other for less than a month. Because I don't feel like I know what I'm doing, I'm starting to overthink even basic 'so, coffee this week?' texts. I could use some perspective on this.