putting the trois in ménage à trois
October 22, 2012 5:08 PM Subscribe
Where to find thirds?
posted by anonymous to human relations (10 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Myself (female) and my boyfriend are into threesomes, with a third of either gender. We aren't particularly kinky, though we are generally willing to try new things. We are both STD free and plan to remain that way.
The handful of times we've had threesomes together (probably 4-5ish) have been very fun, but we've only ever managed to make it happen by picking one of our friends, and essentially seducing him or her while drunk at a party. Granted, this hasn't been very difficult, but this strategy is sort of getting old, because our social circle isn't enormous, and we've already hooked up with everyone amongst it that we wish to. Plus, there's an upper bound of how incestuous we really want this crowd to get.
So, we would like to look to other avenues to find thirds. Our main attempt so far has been OKCupid, where we each have accounts that we keep active, and additionally have a joint account with some pics of us together and separately, a mix of suggestive and normal. We get very few responses from people we message, and in general the only people who message us are very burly looking gay guys (not the preferred 'type' for either of us), or girls who are drastically less attractive than us (we aren't supermodels or anything, but are attractive and in-shape).
I get it, OKC is very relationshipy and that's not really what we're looking for (certainly not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with thirds beyond friendship). I think we ideally would hang out with the person at least once first to make sure we all like each other rather than guarantee sexytimes on the first "date". We don't have the free time/bandwidth to court a whole bunch of people or devote tons of time to answering/sending more OKC messages, but we party a lot on the weekends and thus have time for the actual sex.
So, how to do this effectively? We live in San Francisco, and are in our early 20s, so we kind of feel like this should be REALLY EASY here and we're just missing something obvious. Been a bit hesitant about swinger parties since they sound like something old people do, and we're hesitant to join more of the hookup-centric websites due to general sketch factor, but maybe we are judging too soon here! Drop some wisdom, please.
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