Insight as to why this guy who is interested in me is acting nervous?
April 28, 2011 8:21 PM Subscribe
Why is the guy who appears to have a crush on me suddenly acting so nervous? Why isn't he contacting me more now that I have expressed interest?
posted by sunnychef88 to Human Relations (70 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
Need a males perspective on this one, methinks! I don't really have close guy friends. I have been told that I am intimidating, being tall (and pretty, I guess?). I think I am approachable though--smiley, outgoing, and friendly with everyone (except my ex). Am not saying this to brag or anything. Just trying to paint a picture of the situation.
This guy *was* previously someone who I considered a friend, but then I starting falling for him. I had been dating my ex when this boy and I met, and I am older and was in a leadership role in the context of our first encounter. He is one of the nicest people I've ever met, who exudes warmth everywhere he goes. He's so comfortable with himself that some might consider it effeminate. I think it reflects maturity and confidence. He pays when we get meals together, bought me a very nice gift, and remembers little details I've told him. He is very friendly towards everyone, though- genuinely nice, joyful, and appreciative of people. This also makes it difficult to "read" his behavior.
Most recently when I saw him, he was very nervous and unsure of himself. He warmed up after we sat down to eat. We had a lovely, long conversation, and he was clasping my hands and very animated. I let him do most of the talking since he is usually so eager to listen to me. I tried to touch his arm too, to change the dynamic and be more flirtatious with him, instead of treating him as a friend.
It is very stressful time for both of us now with so much work to finish, but it still makes me think if he really missed me he'd make plans to see me before we leave in a couple weeks.
The second part of my question is this: Do men compartmentalize work and relationships, just taking things as they come? Shouldn't he have contacted me already if he really does "like" me, at least to stay in touch, or something? I didn't grow up with brothers or male friends, so any insight would be helpful. Also, I'm moving states in a couple of weeks, so I won't be around (in person) for a very long time.