My dad is a Vulcan
November 19, 2010 2:55 PM Subscribe
I need help breaking the news of my impending divorce to family members who I do not think will be supportive because they see me as the family fuck-up.
posted by anonymous to human relations (12 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My spouse and I have agreed to divorce after two years of marriage and six of being a couple. This is my second divorce. I didn't have kids with either person, and am childless by choice.
I've had some career ups and downs that I consider to be part and parcel of being a freelance writer as well as being a GenX-er. My income has fluctuated with the economy. My dad and his side of the fam have always given me the impression that they think I've made a stupid choice to be a freelance writer because of the lack of financial security. They all had great jobs with pensions, from the 60s to the 90s.
When I was much younger, I had other relationships which my dad judged as being too serious before I was ready, although I was in my early 20s and not a child. In his opinion, I had too many relationships, and they were too important to me when I should have been focusing on career. (I was focusing on career too -- he just did not see that).
I'm certainly not happy with the fact that I'm getting divorced AGAIN like Ross in "Friends," but I am in therapy and getting a handle on these issues and completely committed to growing in self-esteem and forging a satisfying life for myself, in a way that I was not when younger. I'm optimistic about the future and I know this divorce is the right thing for me and the STBX.
I understand my dad's concerns, but his and the other members' judgmentalism hurts and makes me doubt myself. I realize that I can't control what they think of me, but I'd like some advice for handling their reaction, which I expect to be along the lines of: OMG, you fucked up AGAIN? Are you going to end up on the STREET???? Are you ever going to be HAPPY????? You'll never change!!!
My dad and their side of the family cerebral, emotionally stoic, and ultra-logical people who never deviated from the college-marriage-job-kids-retirement path. They can't understand why I or anyone would want a different lifestyle.
How can I minimize them going ballistic on me for yet another thing that doesn't fit their worldview?