Online romance makeing me feel nervous, advice please?
August 15, 2009 1:10 AM Subscribe
I'm involved in an internet romance that is takeing a major toll on my direction in life and frankly makeing me feel nervous. I need advice in regards to how to be realistic with this relationship.
posted by audio to human relations (48 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I am 21 and this boy I am involved with is 22. We met on MySpace through a mutual friend nearly two years ago. Since then we have kept up alot of correspondence by talking on a skype video chat nearly daily.
He lives in California, USA. I live in Alberta, Canada. He is proposeing that I make a trip after I graduate college to see him this fall.
Since I will be fresh out of school, this will require all my remaining funds leaveing me broke. I'd probably only be able to stay maxium two weeks then I'd have to return back to Canada and look for work and save up to return again (if I choose to).
We have been talking about me trying to move there instead of just visiting, since that amount of time probably wont be long enough for us. We're talked about trying to find me a job while I'm there so that I can actually stay. I will be a certified Network Administrator, and though I have a decent resume I predict that it will be somewhat of a hell to find a job and get a work visa.
Just a couple random facts:
- I'm pretty much in love with the guy but I have never physically met him in real life.
- We have always got along and my r/l friends are mutal friends with him and know him as a decent person.
- I never wanted to live in California, I'm not much of a city type person.
- He's never offered me a place to stay/move in with him because he just crashes at friends places as hes currently "homeless".
- He's never offered to support me in any way, as he makes an income but it isn't sufficient to support two people.
- He is a musician that is signed to a major record label and making his way in the industry. There is no way he can move from California without giving up his entire career.
- My parents are retired out in Arizona so worse case I have a place to fall back to.
- He's never been able to visit me in Canada because of his kind of work.
My question to Metafilter is,
- How can we make compromises so that both of us are happy with this arrangement?
- Are we moving too fast and if so what is the right way to progress with this relation?
- Are we getting ahead of our self? am I setting myself up for failure?
I really like this guy and I want to see this relationship work out, I'm sure he does too...but we are young and don't really know what the next best thing to do is. Thanks.