How to get over my lesbian crush
December 19, 2008 12:40 PM Subscribe
I'm a married woman and I developed a maddening crush on another woman. Now I can't figure out how to get on with my otherwise really happy life and wonderful husband. Help me sort this out!
posted by anonymous to human relations (17 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I met this woman 18 years ago in college and she was never more than an acquaintance really. She tried hard to make friends with me but we never really hit it off or spent time together.
Fast forward 12 years and she and I ended up working together and starting a business. At this point in my life I found her to be funnier and more exciting than in college but really didn't spend time together outside of work.
I was already married at this point and she proceeded over the next four years to go through 3 terrible relationships with guys. The first guy cheated on her, second guy beat her up and the third guy actually was indited on child abuse charges.
After the third break up is when we started to really spend time together. TONS of really fun time together. Imagine any 80's movie montage of two people having the time of their lives together. One night I admitted to her that I had a crush on her and she accepted it very well. She didn't say she had similar feelings that night but a few weeks later told me she felt the same way I did. We didn't pursue anything physically but I always felt like we both had wanted to.
4 months later she found a great new guy and a few months after that they got engaged. Now I want to just move on and feel happy for her and get on with my husband but I can't stop obsessing about what might have been.
I am having the hardest time acting normal around her and the feelings and awkwardness only subside when she's not around but we still work together and I don't really have the ability to switch my place of business. How do I get over this while still maintaining a working relationship and should I ever talk to her about it and what might have been?