Help me and my bruised hands.
December 14, 2008 7:17 PM Subscribe
How do you control a ridiculous temper?
26 yr old female here, on Paxil and Clonazepam, for what it's worth. I have always had a short fuse but in the last few years it seems to have gotten much shorter. I don't know how to deal with frustration. I get pissed off at people who drive like crap, people who are slow in lines at the store, and when something is continuing to thwart me so to speak.
Yesterday my partner and I bought a Christmas tree that was way too tall. We spent hours with a hacksaw trying to get this thing cut down to a manageable size. We fought and fought and fought it. I am known to scream in frustration occasionally. Or throw things (not at anyone or anything, just throw it down to the ground). I was frustrated to no end after hours of sawing that damned tree and I stood up and whacked my head on a shelf on the wall.
Then I just lost my shit. I slugged the wall (5x according to my wife) in sheer rage. Afterwards I cried my eyes out because it overwhelmed me and I was scared and shaking. As if this ridiculous display isn't bad enough, my partner's last relationship was with an extremely abusive woman. Needless to say when I turned into a spaz and slammed the wall I scared the shit out of her.
She told me she was scared of me at that moment and couldn't handle that feeling again, which I totally understand. She's been through way too much to have to deal with tantrums from me. How do I learn to control these feelings? It builds up inside me and seems to boil over. The smallest frustrations seem to lead to outbursts. Please help. I don't want to be like this and I don't want to drive my partner away.