NewParentFilter: Timing of a housecleaning gift

March 17, 2016 9:00 AM

I would like to give a friend a housecleaning service somewhere around her due date -- when is best?

I have a cleaner that I trust and like, and I know she's been looking for a cleaner but hasn't found one, and this is a source of stress for her. I'd like to gift her a housecleaning for her shower, which is soon.

I can imagine that coming home with a new baby to a clean house would be super nice, or maybe a few weeks in would be better? Or - no strangers, harder to break routine, not a good idea? I am not a parent, so parents of AskMe, please weigh in with what you would have preferred.

posted by Dashy to Human Relations (15 answers total)

I'd have preferred to pick the timing myself!
posted by bimbam at 9:04 AM on March 17, 2016 [11 favorites]

I would've loved right before or a month after -- way too much going on during that first month. What a thoughtful gift!
posted by Cat Face at 9:05 AM on March 17, 2016

I think let her pick, but if that's impossible for some reason, maybe in advance by a few weeks? That way she could test out your cleaner and think about hiring him/her on a regular basis going forward. That would be one less thing to have to think about postpartum.
posted by chocotaco at 9:07 AM on March 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

If you can just pay for it and let her schedule it with the cleaner, that would be best.
posted by metasarah at 9:19 AM on March 17, 2016 [3 favorites]

I would say a couple weeks after. This may depend if family help is going to come and clean their home. Once you're on your own with the baby for ~10 days, it sinks in that you need to feed this person every 2-3 hours AND sleep AND live AND clean your house. I'd aim for the 10 day window, which may be 10 days after grandma goes home and stops making the meals and doing the dishes.
posted by Kalmya at 9:20 AM on March 17, 2016

My preference would be for after. Part of getting ready for birth is often massive housecleaning and nesting. It was actually soothing to do that in some way for me.
posted by bizzyb at 9:28 AM on March 17, 2016

Response by poster: Forgot to mention -- my cleaner schedules several weeks out, so I'd like to get at least a tentative date on the books. I know that everything, including arrival, is apt to change!
posted by Dashy at 9:29 AM on March 17, 2016

When I needed a cleaner the most would've been right around the 3 - 4 week mark. My husband was back at work and no longer home to eagerly do chores for me (the house was fairly well maintained those first two weeks; we were also coasting off a big panic clean right before baby was scheduled to arrive). That's also when you really start to hit a wall with the new baby adrenaline wearing off and the extended sleep deprivation sinking in.

But if possible, I would also want to do a quick orientation visit before the baby arrived. I think usually there's some explanations and house-specific info you have to provide to a new cleaner, and I could handle that pre-baby but it would be a hassle post-partum.
posted by castlebravo at 9:31 AM on March 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

When is the shower? When's her due date? Can she pick the date the day of the shower so the cleaner is reserved in time without spoiling the surprise?

Or another option, can you reserve two dates with the cleaner, one right before the due date and one, say, two or three weeks after the due date, let her choose, and then you use the other date?
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:33 AM on March 17, 2016

Personally, I'd like the service two or three weeks after my due date. I get crazy "nesting syndrome" in my last months of pregnancy so my house is clean and ready for baby, but after baby, things just all get chaotic, plus if you get a csection, you can barely do any cleaning other than on the baby or yourself.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 9:36 AM on March 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

I would've preferred before, because having to schedule two or three hours out of the house with a newborn would've been stressful.
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:21 AM on March 17, 2016

A lot of it depends on how much time her husband is planning to take and how much help she's getting from other family. But I also think it's a good idea to put a tentative date on the calendar that she can work toward without having to arrange or can reschedule.

My recommendation is 6-8 weeks after, and scheduled on the weekend. That is most likely after dad has gone back to work, and family has probably come and gone. It's about when the walls start closing in on you and you have to start getting better at leaving the house. Do it on the weekend, when there is another adult home to help get the house into order enough for a cleaner, and to help leave the house (I prefer to leave the house when someone is cleaning it - maybe others don't.)
posted by vunder at 10:23 AM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

I would've preferred before, because having to schedule two or three hours out of the house with a newborn would've been stressful.

A lot of people leave the house when their cleaner comes, but not everyone does and with a newborn I'd probably just hole up with a movie/book/snack/diaper supplies and let them clean around me.
posted by kate blank at 11:03 AM on March 17, 2016

I would caution against scheduling it only a couple of weeks after her due date, just in case it takes the baby a while to arrive, or they don't get out of hospital straight away. 2 weeks after my due date I was still pregnant; me and the baby weren't home from hospital until nearer 3 weeks after.
posted by Catseye at 11:05 AM on March 17, 2016

This is going to sound a bit silly, but about three months after the baby was born was when we really looked up and thought, wow, it'd be swell if someone else showed up and took care of this mess. Up until then, we had been much more focused on day-to-day needs like dishes and laundry, and the deeper-cleaning tasks like washing the floor or cleaning under/behind furniture had gotten pushed off and thus were reaching critical mass, as it were. By that point, all of the initial offers of help had receded and so we pulled ourselves together and took care of things, but a cleaning service would have made a lovely gift. (Not that I'm not grateful for the gifts we did receive! Just, you know, if someone had wanted to give this particular gift, that's the timing I would have ideally wanted.)
posted by teremala at 11:23 AM on March 17, 2016