Having a baby while in grad school?
May 15, 2007 8:17 PM Subscribe
Having a baby while in grad school? Yea or nay from any of you who have gone through it, especially the women... I am a woman so hearing about your first-hand experiences would be good (although there have been some great past posts from dads in grad school as well).
posted by anonymous to human relations (16 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
A little background (kind of long, but I want to dump my brain as this is anonymous and I can't answer questions as easily):
I have been one of those people who swore to the ends of the earth that I was never going to have kids and if I do, I will probably cause my mother to have a coronary simply from shock.
However, I have suddenly been struck with "the urge" (which is rather shocking to me) rather strongly. The idea doesn't cause me to cringe internally and even though I still have some reservations, they seem to be outweighed by visions of having a little tyke around the house. I look at my husband and think of what a fantastic dad he would be, how thrilled my mom would be at a grandbaby (after recovering from the coronary), and how I, even though I never saw myself as such prior, could probably be a good mom.
So, because of my past reluctance, I'm thinking I should strike while the iron is hot (I can see myself maybe cooling to the idea a bit, but, thanks to a past super-late period "scare", I know that if I were to become pregnant, I would go through with it and be fine). We do not currently have health insurance, but we will through my husband starting in June (and it is a good comprehensive plan) and I will also be covered when I start my grad program (M.A.) in July. I am debating whether it would be smarter to wait until I finish this program next summer, though, or just throw caution to the wind and start trying once the health insurance is in place.
I have already done one M.A. (yes, I am addicted to academia) so I know what the atmosphere and routine is like. I have heard arguments that grad school is actually a good time to be pregnant and have a baby because even though you are busy, your schedule can be much more flexible and the environment (depending on your program and school) can be very supportive. I also wonder if it makes more sense as well because if the baby is a few months old when I finish the degree, it might be easier to handle going back to work, etc. rather than starting a job and then getting pregnant.
There are also some obvious cons though - exhaustion, nausea, blah blah blah all while I'm trying to do some intense work.
So I could really use some first-hand knowledge of the situation as I've never done this before! Although, now that I think about it, my mom told me that I was a bit of a mistake baby while she was finishing up her master's degree and I've turned out ok.
(asked anonymously as I would like to retain the option of surprise and also because this question would cause the above-mentioned heart attacks for some of the people I know who read AskMe)