The five sense of sex
May 21, 2013 5:57 PM   Subscribe

Looking to spice things up in the bedroom through a five senses game. A card with each sense for him/her on it is mixed and then we have an enticing way to deal with that sense. Any suggestions?

Looking to make things a little more fun in the bedroom as we've been together for a long time.

Any suggestions as to the best way to arouse all the senses. Watching porn may cover some of seeing; reading some erotica or dirty talking could cover hearing; feeling is the easy one; taste might involve food; and smell would involve oil.

But let's get creative. While we have the broad categories here, what are the details people can think of?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (7 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

Smell - roses, perfume, freshly laundered sheets, cut grass, rain, books, crushed spices, fresh fruit, each other

Sight - costumes, lighting, art, blindfolds, each other

Hearing - music. If you have the opportunity to go outside - crickets, birds, falling rain, wind blowing

Taste - perfectly ripe fruit, really nice wine, good chocolate, and, of course, each other

Touch - toys, fabrics, cool bath, hot bath, massage

Talking about these things in relation to each other might be fun too. As in "this is how you sound/feel/smell to me... "
posted by bunderful at 6:41 PM on May 21, 2013

Also, your question reminded me of this:

"I took a ripe avocado and rolled it between my hands until the skin became a green case for the soft mashed fruit inside, hard pit at the core. I rose from a kiss in your mouth to nibble a hole in the fruit skin near the navel stalk, squeezed the pale yellow-green fruit juice in thin ritual lines back and forth over and around your coconut-brown belly.

The oil and sweat from our bodies kept the fruit liquid, and I massaged it over your thighs and between your breasts until your brownness shone like a light through a veil of the palest green avocado, a mantle of goddess pear that I slowly licked from your skin.

Then we would have to get up to gather the pits and fruit skins and bag them to put out later for the garbagemen, because if we left them near the bed for any length of time, they would call out the hordes of cockroaches that always waited on the sidelines within the walls of Harlem tenements, particularly in the smaller older ones under the hill of Morningside Heights"

- Audre Lorde, Zami
posted by bunderful at 6:41 PM on May 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

Some of these are calling out for a special "deprivation" subcategory: blindfolds for sight, earplugs for hearing, teasing (you want me to touch you there but I'm not) for touch. (But then I can't think of a way to make that make sense for smell and taste, and I'm a sucker for symmetry, so maybe not.)

Also, do consider stuff that isn't stereotypically sensual or romantic. Like if you've never screwed while listening to Mötorhead that will probably be an interesting change of pace. Telling really stupid dirty jokes. Eating Chinese leftovers naked in bed. Dressing up funny not sexy.

Also also: please for the love of god do not include whipped cream. I don't know who started the rumor that that was a good idea, but oh man it is a terrible idea.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 7:00 PM on May 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

Wear the outfit you wore the first time you met or some piece of clothing that will evoke a memory of a time long ago. A long forgotten teddy or bodacious piece of lingerie. Recreate a good early date you had once upon a time. Not that any bloke I've been with ever remembers what I was wearing so long ago [or yesterday]

Put a dab of your perfume on a silk handkerchief/blindfold and wear it for a day to get your scent all over it too. Then wrap it up and give it him as he goes off to work so he can open it at lunchtime and breathe you in. [Though, it would work best with knickers worn for a day I reckon] Write: 'real thing, tonight' on a note to be put in the parcel. Or perhaps, write on the knickers.
[I have said farewell at airports to long distance lovers by dashing into the loos, ripping off my knickers and writing salacious notes in lipstick on them, then handing them over in a sandwich bag. I have later seen these framed and displayed when I've gone to visit the man. Eek.]

Make a 'touch tray' for your man. Instead of breakfast in bed, put a tray of lovely things on a tray, blind fold him and let him touch each one. Things to put on the tray: a sliver of fish net stockings, a piece of silk, a buckle, a leather belt, a small dildo, strawberries, a sliver of velvet, a pearl necklace, a garter belt. Too trashy? Too obvious? Sometimes these things actually work. Or you could put on an array of 'tastes' to suit.

Read a sexy, but not obvious, part of a classic novel. eg The galloping carriage with no destination in Madame Flaubert as the two inside fuck. Or blind fold yourselves and listen to porn, rather than watch it. [I just end up laughing when I have tried this, so YMMV]

Neither of you should wash in anything other than the sea/ocean for two weeks a la Napoleon's urgent request of Josephine "Home in three days, don't wash!" and sniff each other all over before making love. Then still don't wash. See how long you can go without washing each other's scent from your bodies.
posted by honey-barbara at 8:25 PM on May 21, 2013

If at all possible, it seems as though a Great Outdoors session is in order. Find yourself a forest, camp in it, and do it outside the tent at high noon*. There is a certain joyousness to that setting that I think you will really enjoy. All the senses are heightened and stimulated (touch=breeze, sound=breezy trees, sight=OBVIOUS, touch equally so, taste=go on a hike and sweat!)

*Maybe make sure no one rides horses through there in the day...if they do, just probably nod and smile as you would if you were a normal camper.

posted by deep thought sunstar at 8:57 PM on May 21, 2013

So you pick a card then 'do' that sense. You want ideas for activities for each sense. I will concentrate on touch. They key to heightening touch Iis the removal of other distracting sensations. I suggest a blindfold and ear plugs. The recipent lies on their front with their arms spread an thier legs slightly open, as comfortably as possible, again to avoid distraction. You may find light restraint heightens the tension. I would then do any or all of the following avoiding genitals.

A light oiled massage, back, arms buttocks, legs.
Brush filaments.

Well you get the idea, just keep experimenting with different sensations in different places at different pressures. It's a lovely way to feel pampered and aroused. Enjoy!
posted by BenPens at 5:28 AM on May 22, 2013

Some things I have either tried or read about:

Nine and a Half Weeks has some scenes like that -- eating food blindfolded for example.

In the movie Le Divorce, a man asks his mistress to consume something in particular (like an entire pot of orange flavored tea?) prior to seeing him in order to "perfume the juices." You might pick up that movie and see if you can come up with ideas for how you might wish to taste to each other and see if it actually works.

For sound: Moans of pleasure and similar lovemaking noises. Record yourself masturbating and talking out your fantasies and exchange tapes.

For sight: Body art, either henna or "marking" (like hickies, only as body art) or use a projector to make patterns on your naked bodies and photograph it. Or take photographs of each other so you can each see yourselves and your bodies through the eyes of your lover. Or do your own nude self portraits, either hand drawn or with a camera, to show your lover something about yourself.

For touch: Get a couple of good books on massage. Learn to warm the oil in your hand before touching the person. Or try ice. Some people find that a turn on.

Porn never did much for me except in cases where some man was using it as a means to share something about himself with me. So maybe take turns picking out something specific to show to your partner as a means to expose things about yourself they might not know. Don't just watch it. Discuss it. Why did you pick it? What does it mean to you? How does it make you each feel? Etc.
posted by Michele in California at 10:16 AM on May 22, 2013

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