Is it even possible for this to be an STD?
March 26, 2012 12:02 PM Subscribe
YANMD — girly parts and boy parts edition. Is this even possible for STD's?
Background:
My girlfriend and I have been together for four years now, in a monogamous relationship. We co-habitate, and like to refer to ourselves as 'married-lite'. I have absolutely no reason to believe that she has been unfaithful with me, and I know for a fact that I have not been unfaithful with her. To reiterate as clearly as possible: she is the only person I have been with for four years.
About a month and a half ago, she started complaining of an unusual amount of vaginal discharge. Today, she went to the local PP clinic and was confirmed as having a fairly severe yeast infection. The kicker, however, is that the attendant nurse/physician also noticed a high amount of white blood cells, indicative of an underlying bacterial infection. They gave her some doxycycline, and performed some tests…for STD's!
Now I know that it's probably nothing, that an elevated WBC count doesn't *necessarily* indicate the presence of bacteria, and that — in the event that there are bacteria — plain old BV is pretty commonplace.
That has not stopped me from freaking myself the fuck out.
We don't use barrier protection, as she has an IUD and we are monogamous. I have only ever had sans-condom sex with one person prior to our four years together (though that one person did prove to be unfaithful). I never got tested after that last person…but I never had any symptoms of anything. After a few months clear, the general assumption was "clean," and now it's been five years since that person. Still no signs or symptoms of anything at all.
So now, I am reading all sorts of material online about STD's lying dormant for years, being asymptomatic, etc, etc, and it has got me in full-on panic mode. Is it possible that I have had something for four years, not known it, and it has only just now become an issue? That seems so very incredibly far-fetched as to be completely outside the realm of possibility. I can't for one second believe that she has been with anybody else, and we have had a few pretty serious talks about such. I guess we won't know until tests come back, and my logical self knows that it's probably something mundane…
But what I want to know is… what are the odds? Can this sort of asymptomatic thing really lie dormant for so long? Is really possible for me to not have any presentable symptoms of something like gonorrhea or chlamydia for FOUR YEARS? How likely is it for these infections to live in tandem with a yeast infection? How common is it for a yeast infection to cause elevated WBC count? Please help stop me from hyperventilating here.
Background:
My girlfriend and I have been together for four years now, in a monogamous relationship. We co-habitate, and like to refer to ourselves as 'married-lite'. I have absolutely no reason to believe that she has been unfaithful with me, and I know for a fact that I have not been unfaithful with her. To reiterate as clearly as possible: she is the only person I have been with for four years.
About a month and a half ago, she started complaining of an unusual amount of vaginal discharge. Today, she went to the local PP clinic and was confirmed as having a fairly severe yeast infection. The kicker, however, is that the attendant nurse/physician also noticed a high amount of white blood cells, indicative of an underlying bacterial infection. They gave her some doxycycline, and performed some tests…for STD's!
Now I know that it's probably nothing, that an elevated WBC count doesn't *necessarily* indicate the presence of bacteria, and that — in the event that there are bacteria — plain old BV is pretty commonplace.
That has not stopped me from freaking myself the fuck out.
We don't use barrier protection, as she has an IUD and we are monogamous. I have only ever had sans-condom sex with one person prior to our four years together (though that one person did prove to be unfaithful). I never got tested after that last person…but I never had any symptoms of anything. After a few months clear, the general assumption was "clean," and now it's been five years since that person. Still no signs or symptoms of anything at all.
So now, I am reading all sorts of material online about STD's lying dormant for years, being asymptomatic, etc, etc, and it has got me in full-on panic mode. Is it possible that I have had something for four years, not known it, and it has only just now become an issue? That seems so very incredibly far-fetched as to be completely outside the realm of possibility. I can't for one second believe that she has been with anybody else, and we have had a few pretty serious talks about such. I guess we won't know until tests come back, and my logical self knows that it's probably something mundane…
But what I want to know is… what are the odds? Can this sort of asymptomatic thing really lie dormant for so long? Is really possible for me to not have any presentable symptoms of something like gonorrhea or chlamydia for FOUR YEARS? How likely is it for these infections to live in tandem with a yeast infection? How common is it for a yeast infection to cause elevated WBC count? Please help stop me from hyperventilating here.
Yes, it's amazing how many diseases, sexually transmitted or otherwise, can be basically asymptomatic in certain people. What supercres said.
posted by hermitosis at 12:09 PM on March 26, 2012
posted by hermitosis at 12:09 PM on March 26, 2012
That seems so very incredibly far-fetched as to be completely outside the realm of possibility.
It isn't.
posted by phrontist at 12:10 PM on March 26, 2012 [5 favorites]
It isn't.
posted by phrontist at 12:10 PM on March 26, 2012 [5 favorites]
If you have HPV, it's possible you will never show symptoms, and still be occasionally able to give it to her -- but presumably she has been tested for HPV periodically (at least once in the past three years, according to current recommendations). However, you also probably won't be able to be tested for HPV. Of course you should get tested for everything else. But the most likely scenario, as you know, is she has a really bad yeast infection and possibly Bacterial Vaginosis. That doesn't mean you shouldn't get tested now, and regularly for the rest of your life, because, well, why on Earth wouldn't you? It's a responsible part of health care maintenance.
posted by brainmouse at 12:11 PM on March 26, 2012
posted by brainmouse at 12:11 PM on March 26, 2012
Hold on, there's no proof of gonorrhea or chlamydia yet -- they're doing the STD test as a precaution, so they know how to treat it more accurately in case something does turn up.
Lots of different bacteria can find their way into a woman's body, but they're not necessarily textbook STDs, nor even normally an issue (they may be opportunistic due to the yeast infection). They may have even been introduced during sex, but they're not exclusively a sexually transmitted disease. Take a few deep breaths, wait for the results to come back, but don't assume that this is some renegade latent STD or proof of infidelity. The doctor will be able to tell you more about how two monogamous people develop infections down there, so be patient and don't get too worked up about it today.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:12 PM on March 26, 2012 [17 favorites]
Lots of different bacteria can find their way into a woman's body, but they're not necessarily textbook STDs, nor even normally an issue (they may be opportunistic due to the yeast infection). They may have even been introduced during sex, but they're not exclusively a sexually transmitted disease. Take a few deep breaths, wait for the results to come back, but don't assume that this is some renegade latent STD or proof of infidelity. The doctor will be able to tell you more about how two monogamous people develop infections down there, so be patient and don't get too worked up about it today.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:12 PM on March 26, 2012 [17 favorites]
Also, to calm you down, testing her for STDs is a totally normal and routine decision, regardless of her relationship or sexual status. It's an easy way to eliminate some of the more common possibilities, and also it's something that people (even married people) should have done regularly anyway. She could turn up totally clean.
Get tested anyway.
posted by hermitosis at 12:12 PM on March 26, 2012 [13 favorites]
Get tested anyway.
posted by hermitosis at 12:12 PM on March 26, 2012 [13 favorites]
Is it possible that I have had something for four years, not known it, and it has only just now become an issue?
Sure can. HPV--viral, not bacterial, mind you--can be entirely asymptomatic for a person's whole life.
And just because we call them "sexually transmitted diseases" doesn't mean that sex is the only way these diseases are transmitted. What's key isn't the "sex" part as much as the "bodily fluids" part. Certain diseases require actual contact with someone else's bodily fluids to be effectively transmitted, i.e. they can't be contracted by breathing or by touching something someone else has touched, they can only survive in blood or other excretions. Sex is the most common way that most people come into contact with other people's bodily fluids, but it's by no means the only one. Needles are a common vector, but any contact with blood is risky.
Look: just get yourself tested. It's cheap or even free.
posted by valkyryn at 12:12 PM on March 26, 2012
Sure can. HPV--viral, not bacterial, mind you--can be entirely asymptomatic for a person's whole life.
And just because we call them "sexually transmitted diseases" doesn't mean that sex is the only way these diseases are transmitted. What's key isn't the "sex" part as much as the "bodily fluids" part. Certain diseases require actual contact with someone else's bodily fluids to be effectively transmitted, i.e. they can't be contracted by breathing or by touching something someone else has touched, they can only survive in blood or other excretions. Sex is the most common way that most people come into contact with other people's bodily fluids, but it's by no means the only one. Needles are a common vector, but any contact with blood is risky.
Look: just get yourself tested. It's cheap or even free.
posted by valkyryn at 12:12 PM on March 26, 2012
...The fact that it was symptoms that acted a yeast infection is raising another possibility for me - trich. This is sexually transmitted, but acts an awful lot like a yeast infection in a woman -- however, I don't think it does much to a man.
I got it from a guy when we started going off condoms; I got what I thought was a nasty yeast infection and he idly said, "huh, you know, it seems a lot of my girlfriends get yeast infections shortly after we start having sex," and I brought that up to my doctor; it was enough of a red flag that they tested for a few other things and found that no, this guy had been giving all of us trich instead. He just never knew that, and I'm assuming all his other exes had just gotten OTC yeast medication and called it a day, so he just never knew.
It's something you'd both have to be tested for and both have to be medicated for, if you both have it. Otherwise you'll just keep passing it back and forth. But its symptoms are enough like yeast infections to make me wonder whether this may be what's going on; it may be worth an investigation.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:23 PM on March 26, 2012
I got it from a guy when we started going off condoms; I got what I thought was a nasty yeast infection and he idly said, "huh, you know, it seems a lot of my girlfriends get yeast infections shortly after we start having sex," and I brought that up to my doctor; it was enough of a red flag that they tested for a few other things and found that no, this guy had been giving all of us trich instead. He just never knew that, and I'm assuming all his other exes had just gotten OTC yeast medication and called it a day, so he just never knew.
It's something you'd both have to be tested for and both have to be medicated for, if you both have it. Otherwise you'll just keep passing it back and forth. But its symptoms are enough like yeast infections to make me wonder whether this may be what's going on; it may be worth an investigation.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:23 PM on March 26, 2012
Not only what everyone else said, but there are a lot of STDs that can be asymptomatic forever in men while causing symptoms for women.
posted by cairdeas at 12:24 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by cairdeas at 12:24 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Dude just go get tested, cheap/free and you can stop wondering. Reading askme answers does you no good.
posted by kavasa at 12:27 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by kavasa at 12:27 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Also --
Please help stop me from hyperventilating here.
For the STDs that are bacterial, it is usually very easy to get rid of them with antibiotics so I don't understand why you're freaking out. Also,
After a few months clear, the general assumption was "clean,"
Seems like kind of odd phrasing and maybe not the most helpful way to think about it, being "clean" or "unclean" if you get a STD. You're no more clean or unclean with STDs than if you get a cold or a sore throat. Maybe you would hyperventilate less if you quit thinking of it in those terms.
posted by cairdeas at 12:31 PM on March 26, 2012 [21 favorites]
Please help stop me from hyperventilating here.
For the STDs that are bacterial, it is usually very easy to get rid of them with antibiotics so I don't understand why you're freaking out. Also,
After a few months clear, the general assumption was "clean,"
Seems like kind of odd phrasing and maybe not the most helpful way to think about it, being "clean" or "unclean" if you get a STD. You're no more clean or unclean with STDs than if you get a cold or a sore throat. Maybe you would hyperventilate less if you quit thinking of it in those terms.
posted by cairdeas at 12:31 PM on March 26, 2012 [21 favorites]
Did you know HIV can be asymptomatic for a lot longer than five years? Forget whatever symptoms your gf is having right now -- if you've had condom-less (or even with-condom) sex and never had an HIV test, now is the time. Yesterday was the time.....
posted by Tandem Affinity at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by Tandem Affinity at 12:33 PM on March 26, 2012 [6 favorites]
Hey, OP, breathe. It's going to be OK.
Everyone above is right; there are many infections that can lie dormant for years and produce no symptoms. Most of these can be transmitted via bodily fluids without PIV sex, as valkyryn said. Herpes and HPV are by far the most common (both viral, btw), and they are both just as likely to be asymptomatic in men as in women. If your girlfriend were infected with one of the strains of HPV that causes cervical cancer, she'd probably have had an abnormal pap smear by now, so it's unlikely she's got "the bad kind." Most strains of HPV are pretty harmless. You can both live happy, healthy lives with Herpes, as well. Please don't freak out. If it's something bacterial that has survived without incident until now (chlamydia, perhaps), you can both be treated.
All that said, I really do think it's unlikely. It is VERY common for yeast infections and vaginal bacterial infections to happen at the same time. Once the ph balance is thrown off down there, for some of us, all bets are off. And it sucks. The most common bacterial culprits are intestinal bacteria. I bet you can guess why. It's not a big deal, it's just unpleasant. It can be treated. This is the most likely scenario.
You should both get the full battery of tests now, though, just so it's been done. It will make things easier to diagnose in the future. But really, I think it's just going to be a tandem run-of-the-mill yeast/bacterial infection.
posted by JuliaIglesias at 12:58 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Everyone above is right; there are many infections that can lie dormant for years and produce no symptoms. Most of these can be transmitted via bodily fluids without PIV sex, as valkyryn said. Herpes and HPV are by far the most common (both viral, btw), and they are both just as likely to be asymptomatic in men as in women. If your girlfriend were infected with one of the strains of HPV that causes cervical cancer, she'd probably have had an abnormal pap smear by now, so it's unlikely she's got "the bad kind." Most strains of HPV are pretty harmless. You can both live happy, healthy lives with Herpes, as well. Please don't freak out. If it's something bacterial that has survived without incident until now (chlamydia, perhaps), you can both be treated.
All that said, I really do think it's unlikely. It is VERY common for yeast infections and vaginal bacterial infections to happen at the same time. Once the ph balance is thrown off down there, for some of us, all bets are off. And it sucks. The most common bacterial culprits are intestinal bacteria. I bet you can guess why. It's not a big deal, it's just unpleasant. It can be treated. This is the most likely scenario.
You should both get the full battery of tests now, though, just so it's been done. It will make things easier to diagnose in the future. But really, I think it's just going to be a tandem run-of-the-mill yeast/bacterial infection.
posted by JuliaIglesias at 12:58 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
It's really OK. STDs, especially the kind that can be treated with antibiotics, are not that big of a deal. Relax. Breathe.
Now then:
1) Condoms can break or fail. Condoms also do not protect terribly well against some STDs, like genital warts. It is possible, although less likely, to get STDs while using latex barriers. Any of your previous sexual partners could have passed something on to you, and any of her partners could have passed something on to her.
2) STDs are often dormant for long periods of time in male and female partners. If she is currently having an outbreak, it doesn't mean that she recently contracted the STD.
3) The above means that getting tested is probably a good idea. You don't need to have symptoms - I know quite a few people who get tested yearly as a matter of course. I'm one of them.
However:
1) Pretty much any infection can cause an elevated WBC count. It may have nothing to do with her yeast infection. Don't assume that she has an STD unless you receive some evidence of this.
2) If it turns out that she has a bacterial STD, and if it seems likely that you gave it to her, the world will not end. STDs are not, in fact, signs of moral failings. You might feel bad - I feel bad whenever I give my partner a nasty cold - but it will be OK.
posted by catalytics at 1:07 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Now then:
1) Condoms can break or fail. Condoms also do not protect terribly well against some STDs, like genital warts. It is possible, although less likely, to get STDs while using latex barriers. Any of your previous sexual partners could have passed something on to you, and any of her partners could have passed something on to her.
2) STDs are often dormant for long periods of time in male and female partners. If she is currently having an outbreak, it doesn't mean that she recently contracted the STD.
3) The above means that getting tested is probably a good idea. You don't need to have symptoms - I know quite a few people who get tested yearly as a matter of course. I'm one of them.
However:
1) Pretty much any infection can cause an elevated WBC count. It may have nothing to do with her yeast infection. Don't assume that she has an STD unless you receive some evidence of this.
2) If it turns out that she has a bacterial STD, and if it seems likely that you gave it to her, the world will not end. STDs are not, in fact, signs of moral failings. You might feel bad - I feel bad whenever I give my partner a nasty cold - but it will be OK.
posted by catalytics at 1:07 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Is it possible that I have had something for four years, not known it, and it has only just now become an issue? That seems so very incredibly far-fetched as to be completely outside the realm of possibility.
That's not far-fetched *at all.*
posted by mediareport at 1:09 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
That's not far-fetched *at all.*
posted by mediareport at 1:09 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Get tested, get tested, get tested.
But with that said, don't freak yourself out yet. A bacterial infection can most likely be treated easily. I have recurrent BV and I pretty much always have a weird white blood cell count in that region, so if she's been complaining about smell and it acts like a yeast infection that's a good candidate.
But, get tested! Another note: everytime I have BV they give me a panel of STD tests just in case, even though my bf and I are monogamous and safe. So it's pretty normal for a doctor to want to run tests.
posted by stoneandstar at 1:11 PM on March 26, 2012
But with that said, don't freak yourself out yet. A bacterial infection can most likely be treated easily. I have recurrent BV and I pretty much always have a weird white blood cell count in that region, so if she's been complaining about smell and it acts like a yeast infection that's a good candidate.
But, get tested! Another note: everytime I have BV they give me a panel of STD tests just in case, even though my bf and I are monogamous and safe. So it's pretty normal for a doctor to want to run tests.
posted by stoneandstar at 1:11 PM on March 26, 2012
First, definitely get yourself tested. It is extremely common for sexually transmitted infections to be asymptomatic, especially in men. Even if it turns out her tests are negative, do it for your own peace of mind (and hers). There is absolutely no reason not to do this.
On the "calm the fuck down, there are other possible explanations" front: IUDs can cause irritation in some women that mimics a minor infection in just the way you described - increased discharge and a high WBC count.
posted by SugarAndSass at 1:21 PM on March 26, 2012
On the "calm the fuck down, there are other possible explanations" front: IUDs can cause irritation in some women that mimics a minor infection in just the way you described - increased discharge and a high WBC count.
posted by SugarAndSass at 1:21 PM on March 26, 2012
Hey, OP, breathe. It's going to be OK. Everyone above is right; there are many infections that can lie dormant for years and produce no symptoms.
That is the right answer to what I think is the wrong question. If your girlfriend has thrush or Bacterial Vagenosis, it doesn't mean anything other than that she owns female genitalia. So if what you're really asking is "Does my girlfriend's STD mean she's cheated on me?" the answer is NO. Nuns get both of these infections. Children get them. Infants get them.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:26 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
That is the right answer to what I think is the wrong question. If your girlfriend has thrush or Bacterial Vagenosis, it doesn't mean anything other than that she owns female genitalia. So if what you're really asking is "Does my girlfriend's STD mean she's cheated on me?" the answer is NO. Nuns get both of these infections. Children get them. Infants get them.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:26 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I know this must seem really scary. Just take a deep breath, and try to calm down until you hear the results.
I am pretty confident that you are freaking out for no reason, because yeast infections very commonly occur in tandem with other problems that have absolutely nothing to do with sexual activity at all. Women's bodies are just fun that way. Yippee.
Right now, you might want to talk to her about what she thinks is going on with her body. Because, you know, she might be freaking out, too. Or she might be like, "Yeah, I've had something exactly like this before, and it's totally got to be ___, not an STD." Either way you'll probably both feel better after you've talked more about this together.
So. If she does test positive--well, first off, do you know how those STD tests were performed? It's actually pretty important. If it was just done through urine testing and not a vaginal/cervical culture, I would get that positive result verified through a culture if it were me. From what I've seen, Planned Parenthood and walk-in clinics do the cheapest, fastest tests, not necessarily the most reliable (and false positives do occur for chlamydia, not just false negatives, btw).
But, again, if she does test positive, you'll cross that bridge when you get to it. You have gone this long, the few days it will take for you to find out will not significantly impact your health any further.
posted by misha at 2:20 PM on March 26, 2012
I am pretty confident that you are freaking out for no reason, because yeast infections very commonly occur in tandem with other problems that have absolutely nothing to do with sexual activity at all. Women's bodies are just fun that way. Yippee.
Right now, you might want to talk to her about what she thinks is going on with her body. Because, you know, she might be freaking out, too. Or she might be like, "Yeah, I've had something exactly like this before, and it's totally got to be ___, not an STD." Either way you'll probably both feel better after you've talked more about this together.
So. If she does test positive--well, first off, do you know how those STD tests were performed? It's actually pretty important. If it was just done through urine testing and not a vaginal/cervical culture, I would get that positive result verified through a culture if it were me. From what I've seen, Planned Parenthood and walk-in clinics do the cheapest, fastest tests, not necessarily the most reliable (and false positives do occur for chlamydia, not just false negatives, btw).
But, again, if she does test positive, you'll cross that bridge when you get to it. You have gone this long, the few days it will take for you to find out will not significantly impact your health any further.
posted by misha at 2:20 PM on March 26, 2012
If you're having sex, any kind of sex, you should be getting tasted yearly. So yes, OP, you should be freaking out. I mean, don't pass out or anything...but remember this feeling of panic and use it to galvanize yourself and your partner into taking charge of your sexual health.
posted by OsoMeaty at 2:57 PM on March 26, 2012
posted by OsoMeaty at 2:57 PM on March 26, 2012
I honestly don't know what you're freaking out about. Are you worried that either you or your GF has a sexually transmitted infection (as opposed to a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, which are usually not acquired through sexual contact) because of the testing? That's a totally standard precaution for everyone with a complicated vaginal infection.
Are you worried because one or both of you may turn out to have an STI that's been dormant for years? That would suck, but treatment is available.
Are you worried that your GF has broken your monogamy agreements because the doctor ordered these tests? That doesn't make sense.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:09 PM on March 26, 2012
Are you worried because one or both of you may turn out to have an STI that's been dormant for years? That would suck, but treatment is available.
Are you worried that your GF has broken your monogamy agreements because the doctor ordered these tests? That doesn't make sense.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:09 PM on March 26, 2012
Doctors assume any problem down there is sex related because 95% it is. I'm very prone to yeast and bacterial problems and they test for STD's every time. They even tested me for HIV after several yeast infections just to clear it. There's no reason to freak out, testing is normal.
You should be getting tested after every sexual partner, whether you used a condom or not, which you have not been doing. Go get tested. I insist every partner I have get tested before any action happens and they all do. It's normal. No one has ever argued against it and several have thanked me for being careful. It makes people feel safer knowing you value your own health as it helps them take care of their own.
posted by Dynex at 3:11 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
You should be getting tested after every sexual partner, whether you used a condom or not, which you have not been doing. Go get tested. I insist every partner I have get tested before any action happens and they all do. It's normal. No one has ever argued against it and several have thanked me for being careful. It makes people feel safer knowing you value your own health as it helps them take care of their own.
posted by Dynex at 3:11 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
One time I fainted from low blood pressure and they tested me for a bunch of STDs. I was kind of mad when I learned I was getting an HIV test for falling down, but they've got to rule these things out so now I understand. If they didn't and just handed her Monistat, they could get sued.
Still, go get tested, it's something you should do yearly anyway. She could have an STD, or she could just be really unlucky like I once was when I had both a yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis. Fun times. She doesn't need you panicking while she is going through this. I get STD tests every year even if I'm not having sex, because as people here said, HPV can crop up at any time and it's so so common.
posted by melissam at 3:20 PM on March 26, 2012
Still, go get tested, it's something you should do yearly anyway. She could have an STD, or she could just be really unlucky like I once was when I had both a yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis. Fun times. She doesn't need you panicking while she is going through this. I get STD tests every year even if I'm not having sex, because as people here said, HPV can crop up at any time and it's so so common.
posted by melissam at 3:20 PM on March 26, 2012
I get that you're anxious and stressed about this, but maybe try to identify what exactly you're panicking about.
You're now aware that STDs can lie dormant for years and be asymptomatic. You don't think that your partner cheated. All the STDs you mention are easily solved with an antibiotic, as is BV.
Are you freaking out because this might be "your fault?" Are you freaking out because you're afraid that she's somehow living a double life and making a fool of you? Are you freaking out because you're a little embarrassed to have to think about yeast infections and discharge? It's okay to be a little shaken by this sort of thing, but don't let amorphous weirdness take over your brain.
posted by desuetude at 5:39 PM on March 26, 2012
You're now aware that STDs can lie dormant for years and be asymptomatic. You don't think that your partner cheated. All the STDs you mention are easily solved with an antibiotic, as is BV.
Are you freaking out because this might be "your fault?" Are you freaking out because you're afraid that she's somehow living a double life and making a fool of you? Are you freaking out because you're a little embarrassed to have to think about yeast infections and discharge? It's okay to be a little shaken by this sort of thing, but don't let amorphous weirdness take over your brain.
posted by desuetude at 5:39 PM on March 26, 2012
nthing the young rope-rider. IUDs can make mild infections very bad. Ancedotally: I have an IUD, and am generally more prone to BV and yeast infections than I was pre-IUD. Your girlfriend may just have something that might have healed on its own but for the presence of the IUD.
posted by guybrush_threepwood at 6:27 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by guybrush_threepwood at 6:27 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Woah.. chill out everyone!
Bacterial vaginosis (google it) is almost as common as yeast and is not sexually transmitted. Bacteria from the environment or her body can be introduced by sexual activity - from your hand, her hand, your penis, toys, whatever.
Planned Parenthood is inclined to test for STDs for everyone who has a sign that could be a sign of an STD because the population they work with has a lot of STDs. While it's possible your partner has a long-standing STD (Chlamydia is asymptomatic in most women - even for years), or a recently acquired one, the most likely scenario is not an STD - even if she has a high bacterial count.
posted by latkes at 6:29 PM on March 26, 2012
Bacterial vaginosis (google it) is almost as common as yeast and is not sexually transmitted. Bacteria from the environment or her body can be introduced by sexual activity - from your hand, her hand, your penis, toys, whatever.
Planned Parenthood is inclined to test for STDs for everyone who has a sign that could be a sign of an STD because the population they work with has a lot of STDs. While it's possible your partner has a long-standing STD (Chlamydia is asymptomatic in most women - even for years), or a recently acquired one, the most likely scenario is not an STD - even if she has a high bacterial count.
posted by latkes at 6:29 PM on March 26, 2012
Oh, and if she has an old chlamydia infection for example, this is easily treated by antibiotics. Yes, you would need to be treated as well - in fact - many docs would treat you presumptively without bothering to test you.
If she does have a long-standing STD, I'd think carefully of how you want to respond to this situation since it's unlikely she would have deliberately kept that from you. And if she does have an old STD she didn't know about, chances are she'd already feel really shitty about it.
posted by latkes at 6:32 PM on March 26, 2012
If she does have a long-standing STD, I'd think carefully of how you want to respond to this situation since it's unlikely she would have deliberately kept that from you. And if she does have an old STD she didn't know about, chances are she'd already feel really shitty about it.
posted by latkes at 6:32 PM on March 26, 2012
Finally, research says that IUDs do not, for most women, worsen infections. If you have an infection at the time you have an IUD put in, that process can spread the infection to your uterus, which is dangerous, but likely would have become evident some time ago, unless she just had it put in.
posted by latkes at 6:34 PM on March 26, 2012
posted by latkes at 6:34 PM on March 26, 2012
I wouldn't even bother getting yourself tested until you find out the results of her tests.
Not to sound cynical (but to be totally cynical) most doctors really don't pay attention to a woman's ACTUAL sexual activity - they always assume the absolute worse, no matter what the patient says.
Also, if I recall my micro - you'd KNOW if you had any bacterial STIs; typically STI's that are asymptomatic in most women, would still cause havoc with *your* urethra....so unless it burns when you pee, I wouldn't worry too much.
My PCP thought my glands were a little swollen last month and put my on Doxycycline. Sure it CAN be used to treat syphilis, but not just that.
You PRRRRROOOOOOBABLY don't have syphilis.
posted by Lt. Bunny Wigglesworth at 9:22 PM on March 26, 2012
Not to sound cynical (but to be totally cynical) most doctors really don't pay attention to a woman's ACTUAL sexual activity - they always assume the absolute worse, no matter what the patient says.
Also, if I recall my micro - you'd KNOW if you had any bacterial STIs; typically STI's that are asymptomatic in most women, would still cause havoc with *your* urethra....so unless it burns when you pee, I wouldn't worry too much.
My PCP thought my glands were a little swollen last month and put my on Doxycycline. Sure it CAN be used to treat syphilis, but not just that.
You PRRRRROOOOOOBABLY don't have syphilis.
posted by Lt. Bunny Wigglesworth at 9:22 PM on March 26, 2012
Take a deep breath, relax, say something reassuring to yourself like "at least it's not penile eczema!" and go get tested for your peace of mind.
posted by mephron at 4:21 AM on March 27, 2012
posted by mephron at 4:21 AM on March 27, 2012
Anecdata: I contracted Trich from a man who hadn't had unprotected sex since his divorce from a cheating wife five years before. He had no idea that he had an STD. No symptoms on his side whatsoever.
posted by ThisKindNepenthe at 4:54 AM on March 27, 2012
posted by ThisKindNepenthe at 4:54 AM on March 27, 2012
typically STI's that are asymptomatic in most women, would still cause havoc with *your* urethra....
and there are STIs that are often asymptomatic in men, but then wreak havoc on women. Or that are asymptomatic for a time in both.
Can this sort of asymptomatic thing really lie dormant for so long? Is really possible for me to not have any presentable symptoms of something like gonorrhea or chlamydia for FOUR YEARS?
Yeah, pretty much. Gohorrhea and Chlmaydia are kind of notorious for this, as is HPV (though that's a different sort of infection), and as mentioned above, trich (which isn't a bacterial infection, but can cause BV like symptoms, or be coupled with yeast infections) is something that can linger for years in men without symptoms. Also, trich is fun because you can catch it from other form of sexual contact (not just intercourse), so...it's sometimes something people pick up when they think along the lines of "but I haven't had sex since my last relationship!" but kind of forget about that one makeout drunken session where there were some naked shenanigans going on, but not technical, PinV sex. Or something.
So, a lot of what was mentions above is correct: you may have had a long-standing, lingering STD from your prior relationship, and since you never got tested, you didn't know. Or, maybe she did, and she didn't know, for the same. This could just be BV, which is often connected to sexual activity, but isn't really an STD, and doesn't mean anything aside from the fact that she has a BV infection. There are a lot of possibilities here, and they can sometimes feel confusing. So:
- don't freak out
- go talk to a (or her, or your) doctor
- have honest and open conversations with your SO
- get tested for STDs (which you probably should have done before, but better late than never, for realsies)
- be proud of yourself for going in and taking charge of your sexual health
- don't freak out.
posted by vivid postcard at 12:01 PM on March 27, 2012
and there are STIs that are often asymptomatic in men, but then wreak havoc on women. Or that are asymptomatic for a time in both.
Can this sort of asymptomatic thing really lie dormant for so long? Is really possible for me to not have any presentable symptoms of something like gonorrhea or chlamydia for FOUR YEARS?
Yeah, pretty much. Gohorrhea and Chlmaydia are kind of notorious for this, as is HPV (though that's a different sort of infection), and as mentioned above, trich (which isn't a bacterial infection, but can cause BV like symptoms, or be coupled with yeast infections) is something that can linger for years in men without symptoms. Also, trich is fun because you can catch it from other form of sexual contact (not just intercourse), so...it's sometimes something people pick up when they think along the lines of "but I haven't had sex since my last relationship!" but kind of forget about that one makeout drunken session where there were some naked shenanigans going on, but not technical, PinV sex. Or something.
So, a lot of what was mentions above is correct: you may have had a long-standing, lingering STD from your prior relationship, and since you never got tested, you didn't know. Or, maybe she did, and she didn't know, for the same. This could just be BV, which is often connected to sexual activity, but isn't really an STD, and doesn't mean anything aside from the fact that she has a BV infection. There are a lot of possibilities here, and they can sometimes feel confusing. So:
- don't freak out
- go talk to a (or her, or your) doctor
- have honest and open conversations with your SO
- get tested for STDs (which you probably should have done before, but better late than never, for realsies)
- be proud of yourself for going in and taking charge of your sexual health
- don't freak out.
posted by vivid postcard at 12:01 PM on March 27, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
Yes. Probably unrelated, but you need to get tested. (You can't use her tests as a proxy for yourself.) It's a little baffling as to why you wouldn't have done that before going condom-free with your current SO. Does she know all this?
posted by supercres at 12:06 PM on March 26, 2012 [11 favorites]