My groin wants what my brain doesn't!
May 5, 2008 7:12 AM Subscribe
The type of guy I like to spend time with isn't the type I like to have sex with. What now? Probably NSFW!
posted by anonymous to human relations (31 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a good-looking, intelligent woman in my mid-20s and I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. We're pretty much blissfully happy. He's gorgeous, I love him, he loves me, we're simpatico, we want to grow old together, we've weathered some rough stuff (rainclouds, not typhoons) and come out stronger, and neither of us has been unfaithful.
However, although I'm extremely turned on by his looks, I'm not sexually attracted to his personality. The type of guy I enjoy being with (sweet, funny, kind, gentle, cute, boyish) isn't the type that turns me on (rough, rude, cruel, bossy, arrogant, dominant, older ... basically Martin Amis). I *loathe* the people I find sexy.
I've never reached orgasm with my bf; I can only orgasm when I masturbate to fantasies of being dragged around and degraded by the Type A douchebags of the world.
At first I thought I could be okay with having a mediocre sexual relationship with a guy I'm crazy about, but well ... now I'm here typing this.
I've already tried coaching my bf to be more sexually aggressive, but it's clear by now that it's just not in him. Is the relationship doomed? When I'm old, am I likely to feel like I wasted my 20s? Or should I just get over the whole sex thing? :-/