Suggestions for libido-enhancing books, films, etc?
October 19, 2011 4:08 PM Subscribe
Henry Miller makes my sex life hot, True Blood makes it not. What should I be reading / watching in order to get in the mood?
My husband and I have both noticed that when I read Henry Miller I tend to be more sexually adventurous and have more desire for sex. Recently, I noticed that after watching the series True Blood, although I found the show to be pretty sexy, it dampened my actual real-life desires, probably because I started comparing my husband to hot vampires (which is totally unfair, I know). When I listen to Dan Savage's Savage Love podcast there is also an increase in my sexual desire, mostly because it just makes me think about sex much more. I live in my head and the things I read, listen to, watch, etc. have a significant effect on how much I feel like making love to my wonderful husband. I think that Henry Miller and Dan Savage have a more positive effect on my sex life because in general they embrace people in all their glorious imperfection. True Blood makes me want to have well-choreographed sex with flawless men, and makes me feel annoyed, rather than enamored, by the grittiness of the gorgeous man to whom I'm married. Any suggestions as far as books, films, shows, etc. that have a libido-enhancing effect and fall into the "embracing imperfect humanness" category?
My husband and I have both noticed that when I read Henry Miller I tend to be more sexually adventurous and have more desire for sex. Recently, I noticed that after watching the series True Blood, although I found the show to be pretty sexy, it dampened my actual real-life desires, probably because I started comparing my husband to hot vampires (which is totally unfair, I know). When I listen to Dan Savage's Savage Love podcast there is also an increase in my sexual desire, mostly because it just makes me think about sex much more. I live in my head and the things I read, listen to, watch, etc. have a significant effect on how much I feel like making love to my wonderful husband. I think that Henry Miller and Dan Savage have a more positive effect on my sex life because in general they embrace people in all their glorious imperfection. True Blood makes me want to have well-choreographed sex with flawless men, and makes me feel annoyed, rather than enamored, by the grittiness of the gorgeous man to whom I'm married. Any suggestions as far as books, films, shows, etc. that have a libido-enhancing effect and fall into the "embracing imperfect humanness" category?
Not a recommendation, but an observation:
Henry Miller = book
Savage Love podcast = podcast
True Blood = TV
Could it be that you like making pictures in your head yourself?
posted by ferdydurke at 4:33 PM on October 19, 2011 [11 favorites]
Henry Miller = book
Savage Love podcast = podcast
True Blood = TV
Could it be that you like making pictures in your head yourself?
posted by ferdydurke at 4:33 PM on October 19, 2011 [11 favorites]
“you boys can keep your virgins
give me hot old women in high heels
with asses that forgot to get old. ”
― Charles Bukowski, Love is a Dog from Hell
posted by JohnR at 5:13 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
give me hot old women in high heels
with asses that forgot to get old. ”
― Charles Bukowski, Love is a Dog from Hell
posted by JohnR at 5:13 PM on October 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
Marguerite Duras' The Lover is a pretty steamy read. And a piece of real fine writing, to boot. I also found some parts of Sheila Heti's How Should A Person Be? absolutely lurid in the best possible way. There're also some pretty good spicy parts in Lev Grossman's The Magicians, if lit/fantasy hybrids are up your alley. Oh, and Vox, by Nicholson Baker (the only one of his sex novels I've read) was really really good.
posted by emilycardigan at 5:18 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by emilycardigan at 5:18 PM on October 19, 2011 [2 favorites]
I agree with ferdydurke that there may be magic in non-visual media for you! Have you tried searches for the keywords that rev your motor in online erotica aggregators like literotica.com or askjolene.com?
Also curious about whether you've seen (and what your reaction was to) "Henry & June," since it seems like Henry is such a direct hit for you.
posted by argonauta at 5:39 PM on October 19, 2011
Also curious about whether you've seen (and what your reaction was to) "Henry & June," since it seems like Henry is such a direct hit for you.
posted by argonauta at 5:39 PM on October 19, 2011
Maybe it's wrong but Lolita did it for me.
posted by marais at 5:59 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by marais at 5:59 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I also made the connection about visual media vs print and radio.
You could experiment with Henry and June and see if that does it for you.
posted by looli at 6:52 PM on October 19, 2011
You could experiment with Henry and June and see if that does it for you.
posted by looli at 6:52 PM on October 19, 2011
Nine and a Half Weeks: A Memoir of a Love Affair (the book)
posted by roger ackroyd at 7:03 PM on October 19, 2011
posted by roger ackroyd at 7:03 PM on October 19, 2011
Nthing Anais Nin. Henry and June, Little Birds, Delta of Venus.
posted by cranberrymonger at 8:06 PM on October 19, 2011
posted by cranberrymonger at 8:06 PM on October 19, 2011
I signal lusts by title, not handkerchief,
Since I'm the sex of all that I have read;
Sometimes I write this sex. Kiss me enough,
And well enough, that I may bear the snub
That reading's not a sexual preference.
I don't know if "Rimininny!" will help you, but never has there been a person so clearly meant for a poem.
If girl/girl action gets you hot at all, Sarah Waters writes great Victorian lesbian smut in Tipping the Velvet.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:07 PM on October 19, 2011
Since I'm the sex of all that I have read;
Sometimes I write this sex. Kiss me enough,
And well enough, that I may bear the snub
That reading's not a sexual preference.
I don't know if "Rimininny!" will help you, but never has there been a person so clearly meant for a poem.
If girl/girl action gets you hot at all, Sarah Waters writes great Victorian lesbian smut in Tipping the Velvet.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:07 PM on October 19, 2011
On the film front, searching AskMe for "Secretary" should help you find previous questions asking for hot movies. (Not everyone finds "Secretary" hot, but it ends up mentioned in pretty much every AskMe about hot movies.)
If you like Miller, have you tried Anais Nin? Or, if it's the overt crudity of Miller that you are enjoying, I'd point you to the rougher kinds of older erotica, like Marcus Van Heller, say. I think you could do a lot worse than ordering a few editions of those big erotica anthologies (eg) and looking for writers you like.
posted by Forktine at 8:13 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
If you like Miller, have you tried Anais Nin? Or, if it's the overt crudity of Miller that you are enjoying, I'd point you to the rougher kinds of older erotica, like Marcus Van Heller, say. I think you could do a lot worse than ordering a few editions of those big erotica anthologies (eg) and looking for writers you like.
posted by Forktine at 8:13 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
The Ginger Man by JP Donleavy?
Violet Blue? (You will need to to a sort for the erotic stories.)
posted by Danf at 8:43 PM on October 19, 2011
Violet Blue? (You will need to to a sort for the erotic stories.)
posted by Danf at 8:43 PM on October 19, 2011
Try "The Story of O." I also love Henry Miller. Would Marquis de Sade be too far out?
posted by PersonAndSalt at 4:09 AM on October 20, 2011
posted by PersonAndSalt at 4:09 AM on October 20, 2011
Nicholson Baker.
posted by headnsouth at 4:20 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by headnsouth at 4:20 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
I assume headnsouth means Nicholson Baker's "Vox" and "The Fermata", specifically :)
posted by gregglind at 8:16 AM on October 20, 2011
posted by gregglind at 8:16 AM on October 20, 2011
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