Is it possible to have silly and humorous interactions with people without coming across as stupid?
December 3, 2007 2:24 PM Subscribe
Is there something I can do to gradually increase my comfort with being "silly/fun" while making sure that I don't put people off?
posted by gregb1007 to Human Relations (29 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
Here's a dilemma I have. I often see some people who trade private jokes, say funny/crazy things in each other's presence, make silly movements, or sing along something to each other.
Now, when I see them being "silly", I get jealous because I can't get to that level in my social interactions. Many years ago in high school and early years of college, the people I hung out with thought that my attempts at being silly, such as jokes, gestures, or maybe tunes that I would sing for a few seconds, were dumb. They said that much and in retrospect I think they were right.
Of course, to avoid being a socially awkward lamer, I deliberately cut out the silly, impromptu sayings/gestures out of my communications in most cases. I switched to deliberate, clear communication. I think my goal has been to command respect and I have for that reason learned to dress and speak conservatively. (I also rarely drink, but my dislike of alcohol is a whole matter onto itself.)
I do have positive memories of having well thought-out comments in conversations, but I think I am missing out on the fun of being a silly person. I think that it would be great to have fun and be loose. However, obviously enough, I am pretty sure that this is something that I can't permit myself because I don't have the skills for it. I certainly don't want to let my attempts humor make people look me at as an empty-headed moron.
Now, is there something I can do to gradually increase my comfort with being "silly/fun" while making sure that I don't put people off?